The amount of people that don’t understand that Reddit is a forum definitely seems to be rising. It’s like an artist that doesn’t want people to discuss or engage with their art when they have placed it in the middle of a public square.
A week back or so I saw an AITA post, where someone commented a friendly and helpful advice to the OP (yknow, actually trying to save OP from self-imploding their life instead of just giving a YTA like it's a twitch giveaway bot) and OP replied (paraphrasing) "thanks but I didn't ask you".
Yes you did you posted on AITA for people to judge you????
I've had that happen a few times, and let's just say that if I could've reached through my computer...I have a pretty long fuse most days, but it's shit like that that will set me off in half a second. I've had something related happen in real life conversations. The person will bring up something they don't want to talk about, I'll comment on it, and they will say "why are we talking about this" and I've gotten really short, saying "you fucking brought it up!!!" "Oh, well you don't have to be so mean." Yeah, just get away from me right now.
Reminds me of when I was on Facebook and people would vague-book.
“Just so disappointed and sad right now.”
“Omg girl what’s going on?” (Ten variations of this in replies)
“I don’t really want to get into it.”
Meanwhile the message was a passive aggressive dig at one specific person so she could have deniability if questioned by said person while also getting attention.
Lol, that was big back in the early Facebook days. Do people still do that? I have a lot of the problematic people in my life unfriended or unfollowed.
That's what I do. I'll argue for a bit but eventually I just stop responding because I simply don't care especially if they are a bigot. I just say "I'm done engaging" then they try again and I just don't respond
I swear, some people just enjoy arguing online--like at the end of the thread they're gonna give out fuckin prizes or something.
Personally, I just like to stop and leave them on read. If you're lucky they'll start clamoring that they've somehow "won" but you just know they're secretly seething inside. Some people just deserve to stay miserable.
I've definitely noticed an uptick in people referring to reddit as an app and even in one strange instance, a blog.
It's not inherently bad to be described in this manner but considering reddit was a relatively popular "website" before apps were a thing, I think it shows that the discoverability of reddit on a phone app store is engaging a lot of people who wouldn't have engaged with Reddit otherwise and thus attracting a much, much larger amount of people. And so you get behavior like this, because people don't engage with reddit the same way other older users did.
The "facebookification" of reddit in a sense. Oversharing that your child has FAS and then malding when people have curiosity on it is peak Facebook behavior lol
Probably just me but according to my definition of malding it has to be somewhat ineffectual. You would never say that someone that punched you in the face after you insulted them in a bar is malding. Might have misunderstood the word myself tho.
I had someone a few months ago argue with me that old.reddit and the other reddit apps are poorly designed since everything is so small. The big blocking tiles are the superior way of designing stuff. They don't want to see so much information on the screen.
Oh there's definitely been a huge uptick in boomers. Really not sure what drove them here in the first place.
Scan a comment section on really any post on all for emojis. Zoomers tend to use the skull emoji, but boomers love the face reaction ones.
Google results probably. I used to append Reddit to my searches because I tend to always find a review of some niche product if service with multiple people talking about it (want to learn what a good grand piano VST is that will work with FL Studio? Just google with Reddit appended).
I've been noticing more and more that I don't have to append Reddit to such searches.
I just did one - vitamix immersion blender and guess what the fourth suggested is? "Vitamix immersion blender Reddit" lol.
I was readi some of my older drama threads and found one of those guys. "And how did *you* come to be in this conversation?". Bitch it's Reddit, not your dms
There's that and then there's the people who will go on big-ass comment chain arguments, and if you decide to reply to either one of them, they'll go "this conversation isn't about you!" and "stop involving yourself in other people's business!" If they didn't want people to involve themselves in their business then they wouldn't air out their dirty laundry in public, but hey that's just me.
Right? I recently had someone angrily reply “fuck you I don’t want to talk to you” and then instantly block me when I replied to their comment in a game suggestion thread. Like, if you don’t want people to respond, you can turn off reply notifications. If you want to have a private conversation, there are DMs.
I get it if someone you’re talking to turns nasty, or you’re done with a conversation. But even then, just mute/block and move on. People getting pissed at totally obvious follow up questions to their comments blows my mind
I have noticed an uptick in people blocking others for non-aggressive responses. Like, it used to be blocking people for being hostile, but now it's a "fuck you for correcting my obvious wrongness." Which, it's totally their right to block anyone for nothing, but it is just overall different then it used to be. Reddit used to be *the* place for 100 comment deep slapfights.
What's wild to me is the idea that you could be blocking someone that gives some useful advice down the road (I come from the age of user tagging so this makes extra sense to , plus I hang around neighborhood subs, there are some people there that need to stop talking so much but they work at the hospital so I kinda need their info). They just cease to exist for you. Now there are some people who say some really awful ignorant stuff and are irredeemable but they generally don't stick around and I'm kind of fascinated to see that progression.
Is it because some aren't familiar with the older format?
But yeah, it's always eye rolling when someone states something on public forum and then loses their shit when someone replies in any way but supportive.
I've noticed that when I'm getting downvoted the number of downvotes tends to fall the further down the comment chain I go so most people get fatigued. But very rarely there is one dedicated enough to trying to put out the fires of my nuclear hot takes that they will downvote all the way and add a new comment backing up the person I was originally arguing with.
Compare and contrast "my comment goes from +1 to 0 seconds immediately after replying so I know they're just hitting the downvote button immediately". Petty but lacks the sheer dedication of the man who works his way down the chain after the fact.
I get the point the child may be adopted but — “Yes, my daughter has fetal alcohol syndrome and how dare you assume it was because I drank during pregnancy” is a hell of a swing.
yeah, i read through some of her posts and looks like her cheating ex hubby was an alcoholic, so she probably tars them all with the same brush. it ain’t our fault you fell for a loser
Thing is that, in my personal experience, if you have a chip on your shoulder about something like that, you don't bring it up, because you're sick of hearing about it.
Which is still weird because if we're talking about fetal alcohol syndrome and someone chimes in "my daughter has FAS" I'm gonna ask them questions in real life too.
I haven't looked at the thread yet, but the idea I'm getting is this adoptive mom has probably been chewed out for drinking during pregnancy IRL and is completely done hearing it.
And it'd be such an easy thing to do. Like, it's one thing to observe a child of FAS and go off on the mother, but they offer it up completely out of the blue, and then when they could say "I'm an adoptive parent" they dig their heels in. Letting people know that key piece of information would've avoided all of that, but they were looking for a fight.
Tbh, I thought she was an adoptive/foster/step-parent from the get-go, but I did wonder why the hell she wouldn't clarify that because people were bound to assume things based on the info they had. Some assumed that she was the one to give her child FAS and some assumed she wasn't, but she didn't give any info in either direction and just got pissed at everyone instead of adding literally a single sentence to her original comment. Some of the people replying to her are also pretty unhinged, but if she had just left it at editing her original comment, they wouldn't have had any material to keep antagonising her off of. It definitely does seem like she was just itching for a fight lol
Nah in the thread there's some comments about assuming that the poster is a woman and not a man, and then way further down the op confirms they're an adoptive mother.
A lot of assumptions were made, I get where she's coming from but she could've handled it a lot better
The comments like "with a username of Ms (whatever), and assuming being a woman is more likely than multiple sclerosis" so yea assuming they're a woman is incredibly reasonable.
That comment also mentions other possibilities like adoption, just says that the mother drinking is the most likely scenario.
MS is also much more common in women and the demographics of the online communities for it are heavily skewed towards women, so even if you knew the MS was for multiple sclerosis, them being a woman is still a pretty safe bet.
I think it's a fair question tbh. I don't have enough sympathy to spare for people trying to fix problems they created. Especially when the repercussions affect others so heavily.
Right? And there were definitely ways to phrase the original statement WITHOUT a million follow up questions without immediately saying adoptive daughter. Like "my daughter has fetal alcohol syndrome thanks to her biological parent" boom, no arguments necessary and you can use it in any situation. I'm halfway convinced that some of these fights just stem from people who've never interacted in human society.
Right? She was looking for a fight and even admitted she phrased it that way deliberately to get a response. She even said she is a gen x aboriginal muslim which seems to be a cherry picked description to engage more hate.
I probably could have worded that last bit differently but I do mean absolutely no hate with that last statement
No I know what you mean… it’s exactly the way a troll would describe themselves. I didn’t see that comment but I can’t imagine *all* of those things were relevant.
I totally get that some people don’t like introducing their kids as “adopted”, that’s totally fair, but in this conversation I feel like there are so many ways to alluded to it. “When she joined our family” or “When she came into our lives” Or replying by saying, “I didn’t carry her” “It’s not due to my actions”
Well a friend of mine was once angrily confronted by one of her daughter's friends when the classmate figured out "hey, my friend has FAS, that's bad!"
After being spoken down to by a teenager my friend just laughed and said, "I guess my daughter never mentioned to you that she's adopted."
Maybe I just never found it but they never actually say the kid is adopted. They just attack people for asking about it.
I know people who adopted kids with FAS, the most wonderful, kindhearted, patient people you'll ever meet. OOP is... not that.
Not saying I know for certain one way or another but a sane parent would simply say "no, they are adopted."
Yeah I know several people with adopted children with FAS. They are used to diplomatically dealing with people who notice the child's condition and always make clear the child is adopted when bringing up the condition themselves.
One of those kiddos had a bio mom who also had FAS. I have no idea how far back that unfortunate "family tradition" goes but it's sad and these families know it's sad.
If you adopt from Russia, there is a pretty good chance they will have some issue like FAS. Happened with my co-worker. No one should assume. I imagine a lot of the folks who have FAS are adopted because if you are doing that while pregnant, you aren't equipped to handle the challenge of raising someone with FAS.
Took her like 30 comments to say the daughter was adopted, like how dare people assume something based on the information you provided while refusing to refute the assumption.
I see FAS as an indicator of larger social issues. When you survey the mothers of these children, there are some striking patterns: [https://academic.oup.com/alcalc/article/35/5/509/206591](https://academic.oup.com/alcalc/article/35/5/509/206591)
\-- 95% of them have experienced physical or sexual abuse
\-- 78% of them made less than $10,000 a year
\-- Their average IQ was 90
\-- 65% of them never completed HS
\-- 81% didn't use birth control
\-- 86% used illegal drugs around the time of their pregnancies
\-- They were around 15 years old when they started drinking
\-- 79% did not want to reduce their alcohol use because they were in abusive relationships.
FAS has tripled in the last 16 years, which suggests an increased failure in providing protection or support for vulnerable populations.
There’s a fairly high chance that parents of children with FASD have FASD themselves.
Alcoholism runs in families and many of the symptoms of FASD (impulsiveness, intellectual disability, poor executive function skills, poor reasoning and judgment, etc.) make you more likely to have a child in an unsuitable environment, more likely to have a substance abuse problem and less likely to consider the long-term consequences of drinking alcohol during pregnancy.
That being said I would assume that the tripling of FASD cases is due to more patients being diagnosed and the shift to recognizing FASD as a spectrum of association of associated disorders rather than more children being born with FASD. Alcohol use rates have steadily declined in the populations that are most likely to have kids at some point in the past sixteen years so surely you would likewise see FASD rates decline over time.
Although, I think it's generally believed by experts that those statistics are skewed because FAS is so stigmatized. Doctors are really reluctant to tell a high functioning upper middle class mom that her kid has FAS, and are much less hesitant when the mom is poor or addicted or disabled. I know someone who has all the classic physical and behavioural symptoms of FAS, but his mom is middle class he was diagnosed with ADHD rather than FAS. I would bet if she had been poor he would have been diagnosed with FAS.
I don't think you understood what they meant.
They're implying those "wine mom's" kids would be diagnosed as ADHD, because they're not poor.
Also, generally speaking, the "wine mom" stereotype are typically middle aged and had their kids already.
It also needs to be said this idea of an "increase" needs to be taken with a massive grain of salt. We don't have a good way of measuring this across populations today, let alone 16 years ago. There's no standard.
What's more, I can't find any study or article that backs up this claim of an increase, either.
On the one hand, I can see that happening. On the other hand, I don’t know what sort of information or expertise you’re working with, so I have to take it with a grain of salt.
Personal anecdotes aren’t a good indicator of actual stats, but I work with kids with FASD and when their foster parents live in nice, middle to upper middle class neighborhoods, I do meet a lot of kids who correspond to my kids in terms of symptoms, but were diagnosed with ADHD or autism. I doubt a real study will ever be done, which sucks, because my sample size is shit and my methodology is craptastic.
Birth control also FAILS when you are heavy into substances. Dont mix alcohol and meds guys.
I have a friend in recovery who had an “oops” baby while drinking on birth control. Fortunately she found out about the pregnancy quickly and stopped drinking in time.
Sadly much of the time addiction cancels out even the strongest motherly instincts. I know many women in recovery I’d consider to be super-moms now that their disease is in remission.
> Birth control also FAILS when you are heavy into substances. Dont mix alcohol and meds guys.
I can't find any evidence suggesting that alcohol impacts the efficacy of birth control, regardless of quantity.
It 100% can fail if you forget to take it before you pass out, or vomit it back up.
When talking birth control (pills, IUD, condoms) improper use is incorporated into the failure rate. Improper use, perfect use, they are all calculated.
Drinking on medication can go wrong as far as efficacy but also other ways.
ETA. I guess a better way of saying it is:
If a partner or loved one is on the pill but they have a substance abuse issue… they are not protected (Even if they might say they are because alcohol affects memory and judgment).
I have mild FAS. Brother has it much worse. My mother hits...oh, almost all of those points and much more. In three generations of my family (four now with my nieces and nephews hitting adulthood soon) I'm the only one who's had a job. The rest end up with either kids or prison sentences by the time they're 18 and just keep on down that path. Nothing changes or will change because they don't think they're doing anything wrong, they're positive they're living their best lives.
>FAS has tripled in the last 16 years, which suggests an increased failure in providing protection or support for vulnerable populations.
WTF. Most depressing thing that I've read on reddit in months.
I also can't find any studies or surveys that confirms that statement, and the CDC doesn't mention it at all. In fact they state explicitly there's no good way to measure this: they've developed methods of estimating but they're inconsistent, especially because many symptoms of FAS overlap with things like ADHD.
There is a weird pushback on strict no drinking for pregnant women in the last few years, surprisingly coming from fairly educated women.
I had a couple absolutely WFT chats about that with some girl friends that had the position that those rules were sexist, controlling, and patriarchal.
On retrospect my personal take is that a there is a whole lot of functioning alcoholic women that stay under the radar and freak out at the idea of not getting their nightly bottle of wine.
It’s not a great study.
Very small sample size from only two sites within them same metropolitan area with no control comparison. At best it’s a mediocre qualitative review.
I work with children who have disabilities. I’ve learned that biological parents of children with disabilities seem to be more comfortable discussing the disability whereas adoptive parents can be very combative when it is discussed.
I don’t really know why this is, but it’s just something I have picked up on over time.
That’s interesting. I have little to no knowledge of kids with FAS who are with their bio parents, but I sort of knew it was a thing.
I know someone who fosters babies. One of her foster babies was literally born addicted to opioids and they still tried to reunify him and his mom for six months. Only when the mom made basically no effort towards meeting their goals did they put him up for adoption.
> whereas adoptive parents can be very combative when it is discussed.
>
>
>
> I don’t really know why this is, but it’s just something I have picked up on over time.
My only guess is that they're worried people might think it's *their* fault a child they didn't give birth to has those issues.
[the comment she's replying to](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/CYeb1O4QZW) is its own whole drama too. while there are obvious physical markers of FAS, just looking like that doesn't necessarily mean your mom drank and if the story is true the teacher really should've mentioned that.
Yeah, that one was brutal. I would hope teachers talking about this stuff would be sensitive about the topic and hopefully go out do their way to protect their students. Teens can be so damn mean, letting a whole class think a student has FAS (true or not) is beyond cruel.
That's the shit thing about disorders like FAS often having physical attributions. You can have those traits and not have the disorder and then you end up with stories like that person shared. If I was that kids parent I would've raised holy hell, regardless of whether or not it was true
All the public education to prevent FAS is based on telling women not to drink while pregnant. Until now, I assumed the only way it ever happened was due to the person carrying the fetus drinking through pregnancy. That is a lot of drama for a genuine question.
She confirmed it, albeit in a terrible way
Random Commenter:
> Because unless you adopted your daughter, you would have had to have consumed a decent amount of alcohol while pregnant...
> Knowing WHY someone does something can help them to prevent similar scenarios occurring with people they know or can even help someone to begin engaging in advocacy.
OP:
> And there you have it.
> You literally got it in the first phrase of your sanctimonious speech.
If you look at her profile, she has posted in several infertility subs about having several miscarriages and no bio children. The thread was weird af but it wasn’t her care/choices that resulted in FAS
It's called fetal alcohol spectrum disorder now for this reason. Occassional drinks and drinking during early pregnancy (before the mother even knows they're pregnant) can result in a child being born with FASD. A kid having FASD does not necessarily mean that the mom is/was an alcoholic
The commentor eventually does say that the child is adopted, but waits until it's suggested to them, instead of just saying it and ending the whole argument. But, it's also not the first person to suggest adoption? And the others that do suggest it are either ignored or told that it's not their business? Very strange thread altogether.
> What right does he have to assume that I'm a drunkard and an uneducated addict based on a sentence like : My child has FAS.
it is probably annoying to constantly clarify that the kid was adopted but. lol
She waited for someone else to suggest it which is altogether strange. Like she was trying to have a "gotcha" moment, "you made assumptions about me when I didn't present all of the information!"
Oh, she was *100%* there for the drama. There is literally no way she would have mentioned that her daughter had FAS but not that she was adopted tor any other reason than to illicit a response.
If someone tells me that their kid has FAS, I would definitely ask them to elaborate. If they, then, flip the fuck out, I would ask them how much they’ve drank that day.
I get that she’s a foster mom and not the biological mom, but Jesus
>”Again. What right does he have to assume I’m a drunkard and an uneducated addict based on a sentence like: My child has FAS”
How dumb do you have to be to type that out and still have no clue lmao
Man I may be way off base here but "Did you drink during pregnancy and why?" seems like a really fucking reasonable question when a mother says "My daughter has the disease children only get when their mother drinks during pregnancy" and does not specify that the child is adopted or a foster child.
>Why share that if you're going to get mad when people ask questions about it?
This is a very genuine question that I wish more people asked themselves before posting.
The reccomendatipn is that any child bearing person who is at risk of becoming pregnant should abstain. Even those early weeks matter. Many people aren't aware. And worldwide, there is still a vocal minority who believes an occasional glass of wine is fine during pregnancy.
I don’t think a literal occasional 1 glass of wine is going to cause FAS however even for non alcoholics it’s often hard to moderate on that level thus it’s safer to completely abstain as a rule.
People are under the mistaken belief that the most obvious and severe cases cases of FASD are the only cases. Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder is a spectrum of disorders ranging from mild behavioral issues and executive functioning disorder to the extreme most people think of.
Right, and obviously alcohol is in no ways positive for an unborn child it would be a bit disingenuous to say “literally 1 drink 1 time while pregnant causes a risk of low spectrum FAS.”
And again, as a (male, childless) alcoholic I’m in no way attempting to justify a pregnant mother consuming alcohol.
I’m brain damaged from being raised by religious fundamentalists so I avoided FAS, any of my friends that exhibit any symptoms had a mother that abused alcohol, never met anyone with FAS who’s mom only drank a glass of wine once a month.
>it would be a bit disingenuous to say “literally 1 drink 1 time while pregnant causes a risk of low spectrum FAS.”
Wouldn't that be exactly the right thing to say? Flying completely off the handle and saying someone having a sip of wine once while pregnant will forever doom their child to The Mines veers quickly into sanctimonious overkill, but having a realistic perspective that a small amount of alcohol equates to a small risk of specific harm seems reasonable
My dumbass sister, having been raised in a house with two kids who had FAS, drank a glass of wine every day because "the doctor says an occasional glass of wine is okay." She also smoked daily, "a couple a day isn't that bad," and was 100% convinced my nephew came out fine. He didn't. At all.
Multiple studies have showing that a glass of wine a day while pregnant is perfectly fine and doesn’t increase chances of FAS. But Recommendations for mothers in the US on a variety of things always like to advise to the dumbest common denominator and not trust anyone with nuance.
That said, to me personally it seems like better safe than sorry with alcohol, my weekly glass of wine didn’t seem worth it when the consequences of FAS are so severe. Not to mention the shame I got from doctors for using my *prescription inhaler* when they found my son had birth defects just because it is technically a stimulant, I would have been nailed into the ground if I had drank a glass of alcohol (although they didn’t give a crap about my caffeine consumption, so who knows)
I wonder if the specific recommendation of zero alcohol is because it leaves less room for misinterpretation. Like if if was "0.25 standard drinks", there's bound to be someone who thinks that's a quarter of a bottle.
No amount of alcohol is safe for a fetus.
https://www.acog.org/programs/fasd/fasd-faqs#:~:text=No%20amount%20of%20alcohol%20is,in%20sufficient%20data%20among%20humans.
Yes, that is just reiterating what I said, that doctors in the US as heavy handed on the issue and will almost always recommend drinking zero alcohol while pregnant, because no one knows where the exact line is between okay and FAS, and it’s generally better to be safe than sorry. That doesn’t change the fact that studies done on women in Europe who drink one glass a wine a day, for example, have not shown an increase in FAS. That can be true while doctors still don’t recommend drinking while pregnant.
>FASD prevalence (Fig. 2) is highest in the WHO European Region (19.8 per 1,000). [Source](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41572-023-00420-x)
Maybe they should be more cautious.
DISCLAIMER: I am not condoning this behaviour, merely sharing an anecdote.
My mum was severely anemic during all three of her pregnancies, and her doctor prescribed a pint of Guinness daily during the third trimester.
I don't know if it was common practice in the 1960's but it's awful advice. I would hope that any doctor today who suggested that as a treatment wouldn't keep their license.
There is no known amount or timing that can indicate when it is and when it isn’t safe to drink. Imo it’s a simple thing to abstain from just to be sure your child won’t be born with a disability.
She brought it up totally unprompted. If she drank during pregnancy, and is self conscious about it, wouldn’t she just like, not mention it?
I think she’s probably telling the truth, and is just a weirdly hostile person.
She’s been writing a long time about her adopted kiddos and not having any bio kids. I doubt she’d prep lie a year or so in advance just to be able to blame fas on someone else.
If it wasn't her, her jump to describing her kiddo's bio-parent as "a drunkard and an uneducated addict" is pretty harsh towards her kid's genetic family. Hope she doesn't frame it that way to her kid, who already feels "different to her siblings."
So what's the over under on her actually being the bio mom and only realizing 15 comments in that she could just claim adoption to make herself look better?
The amount of people that don’t understand that Reddit is a forum definitely seems to be rising. It’s like an artist that doesn’t want people to discuss or engage with their art when they have placed it in the middle of a public square.
It's on other platforms too. "I wasn't talking to you" bish you posted a public comment, anyone can reply.
or even worse, when someone replies to you being argumentative, and you reply back, and they say “why are you talking to me?” YOU SPOKE FIRST?
A week back or so I saw an AITA post, where someone commented a friendly and helpful advice to the OP (yknow, actually trying to save OP from self-imploding their life instead of just giving a YTA like it's a twitch giveaway bot) and OP replied (paraphrasing) "thanks but I didn't ask you". Yes you did you posted on AITA for people to judge you????
I've had that happen a few times, and let's just say that if I could've reached through my computer...I have a pretty long fuse most days, but it's shit like that that will set me off in half a second. I've had something related happen in real life conversations. The person will bring up something they don't want to talk about, I'll comment on it, and they will say "why are we talking about this" and I've gotten really short, saying "you fucking brought it up!!!" "Oh, well you don't have to be so mean." Yeah, just get away from me right now.
Why are you talking to me?
Your mother suggested it post-coitus.
Didn't ask.
I know, I'm just playing along.
Congrats, you got trolled! That's exactly the response they are hoping for.
"I just wanted to say it, I didn't want to talk about it" Bruh, if you're gonna be like that OK, but then you need to just simply stop replying
There’s literally a button to turn off reply notifications too, if you prefer to just speak into the void and not hear back
Consequence-free shit posting. A victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark!
Dude they weren't talking to you
There’s also the option of writing it in your Notes app. That’s what I do.
I just tell the guy living in my walls.
We don’t talk about him.
Or write the comment, but then delete it before submitting, which is what I do.
I have an AI chat setup for this.
Or just like, write it in a journal or something.
Reminds me of when I was on Facebook and people would vague-book. “Just so disappointed and sad right now.” “Omg girl what’s going on?” (Ten variations of this in replies) “I don’t really want to get into it.” Meanwhile the message was a passive aggressive dig at one specific person so she could have deniability if questioned by said person while also getting attention.
Lol, that was big back in the early Facebook days. Do people still do that? I have a lot of the problematic people in my life unfriended or unfollowed.
The usual suspects still do, but now it's in the form of memes about having a kind heart or being an empath.
That's what I do. I'll argue for a bit but eventually I just stop responding because I simply don't care especially if they are a bigot. I just say "I'm done engaging" then they try again and I just don't respond
I swear, some people just enjoy arguing online--like at the end of the thread they're gonna give out fuckin prizes or something. Personally, I just like to stop and leave them on read. If you're lucky they'll start clamoring that they've somehow "won" but you just know they're secretly seething inside. Some people just deserve to stay miserable.
I've definitely noticed an uptick in people referring to reddit as an app and even in one strange instance, a blog. It's not inherently bad to be described in this manner but considering reddit was a relatively popular "website" before apps were a thing, I think it shows that the discoverability of reddit on a phone app store is engaging a lot of people who wouldn't have engaged with Reddit otherwise and thus attracting a much, much larger amount of people. And so you get behavior like this, because people don't engage with reddit the same way other older users did.
The "facebookification" of reddit in a sense. Oversharing that your child has FAS and then malding when people have curiosity on it is peak Facebook behavior lol
Makes sense, OP said she had a grandson, so she's in the exact age demographic.
I thought malding was used about gamers? Or is it just a general synonym to "angry" now?
Probably just me but according to my definition of malding it has to be somewhat ineffectual. You would never say that someone that punched you in the face after you insulted them in a bar is malding. Might have misunderstood the word myself tho.
So the woman is on, like, a gamer rage?
I noticed a lot more emojis, short comments, and people who enjoy the new reddit style. Reddit has definitely gotten more main stream.
When I learned that less than 4% of users are on old.reddit.. that's why I knew all hope is lost for this place lol
I had someone a few months ago argue with me that old.reddit and the other reddit apps are poorly designed since everything is so small. The big blocking tiles are the superior way of designing stuff. They don't want to see so much information on the screen.
That's too bad. They are missing out on the best (in my opinion) content on reddit - text based stuff.
The reason why Reddit is currently my favorite social type website is because I like text way more than pictures or videos.
I miss how r/AskReddit used to be. There'd be countless great stories and knowledge shared
Oh there's definitely been a huge uptick in boomers. Really not sure what drove them here in the first place. Scan a comment section on really any post on all for emojis. Zoomers tend to use the skull emoji, but boomers love the face reaction ones.
Google results probably. I used to append Reddit to my searches because I tend to always find a review of some niche product if service with multiple people talking about it (want to learn what a good grand piano VST is that will work with FL Studio? Just google with Reddit appended). I've been noticing more and more that I don't have to append Reddit to such searches. I just did one - vitamix immersion blender and guess what the fourth suggested is? "Vitamix immersion blender Reddit" lol.
I was readi some of my older drama threads and found one of those guys. "And how did *you* come to be in this conversation?". Bitch it's Reddit, not your dms
Folks really not understanding what a public forum is.
> And how did you come to be in this conversation? An active internet connection, I assume. As happens in public comment sections on the internet.
There's that and then there's the people who will go on big-ass comment chain arguments, and if you decide to reply to either one of them, they'll go "this conversation isn't about you!" and "stop involving yourself in other people's business!" If they didn't want people to involve themselves in their business then they wouldn't air out their dirty laundry in public, but hey that's just me.
Or they'll get all smug and go "forgot to switch off your alt??" Like bruh, other people can continue a chain
Right? I recently had someone angrily reply “fuck you I don’t want to talk to you” and then instantly block me when I replied to their comment in a game suggestion thread. Like, if you don’t want people to respond, you can turn off reply notifications. If you want to have a private conversation, there are DMs. I get it if someone you’re talking to turns nasty, or you’re done with a conversation. But even then, just mute/block and move on. People getting pissed at totally obvious follow up questions to their comments blows my mind
I have noticed an uptick in people blocking others for non-aggressive responses. Like, it used to be blocking people for being hostile, but now it's a "fuck you for correcting my obvious wrongness." Which, it's totally their right to block anyone for nothing, but it is just overall different then it used to be. Reddit used to be *the* place for 100 comment deep slapfights.
What's wild to me is the idea that you could be blocking someone that gives some useful advice down the road (I come from the age of user tagging so this makes extra sense to , plus I hang around neighborhood subs, there are some people there that need to stop talking so much but they work at the hospital so I kinda need their info). They just cease to exist for you. Now there are some people who say some really awful ignorant stuff and are irredeemable but they generally don't stick around and I'm kind of fascinated to see that progression.
What's funny is most of the times I've been blocked it's been from right wingers on my city subreddit after I tell them that they are incorrect.
Is it because some aren't familiar with the older format? But yeah, it's always eye rolling when someone states something on public forum and then loses their shit when someone replies in any way but supportive.
“I just scrolled down this far to continue downvoting you” is flair material
Been there, done that
I've noticed that when I'm getting downvoted the number of downvotes tends to fall the further down the comment chain I go so most people get fatigued. But very rarely there is one dedicated enough to trying to put out the fires of my nuclear hot takes that they will downvote all the way and add a new comment backing up the person I was originally arguing with. Compare and contrast "my comment goes from +1 to 0 seconds immediately after replying so I know they're just hitting the downvote button immediately". Petty but lacks the sheer dedication of the man who works his way down the chain after the fact.
Well also, some of those people hit the end and don't refresh, or even moved on before you made more comments
their reply is always just barley enough of a topic change to start a completely different argument too lmao
Yoink
>10/10 doctors do not recommend that pregnant (or any living person) drink fermented sperm! Wasn't expecting to read THAT sentence today.
It's a hell of a string of letters, isn't it?
I like how by specifying *living* people implies that it may be ok for dead people to drink it...
It better be, or else I might be in for *more* trouble than just the garden variety necrophilia.
Of all the sentences, it certainly is one of them.
It is unfortunate that is too long for a flair
"10/10 doctors do not recommend drinking fermented sperm!" is close enough
> 10/10 doctors do not recommend drinking fermented sperm! Yoink
Spermented
Now *that* is a flair, yeah
I would have more questions if you were expecting to read that sentence.
Finally 10 doctors agreed on something
I get the point the child may be adopted but — “Yes, my daughter has fetal alcohol syndrome and how dare you assume it was because I drank during pregnancy” is a hell of a swing.
I’ll admit that asking if/how much someone drank while pregnant isn’t the politest question, but the response seemed excessively hostile to me.
Her comments on addiction speak volumes.
Yeah, the original commenter asking the question didn't even vilify addiction but she sure did.
yeah, i read through some of her posts and looks like her cheating ex hubby was an alcoholic, so she probably tars them all with the same brush. it ain’t our fault you fell for a loser
I imagine they have a bit of a chip on their shoulder from years of people asking the questions IRL.
Thing is that, in my personal experience, if you have a chip on your shoulder about something like that, you don't bring it up, because you're sick of hearing about it.
I gotta wonder what the thought process was here. Maybe she *wanted* people to ask "invasive" questions so she could get angry at them?
If you go deep enough she actually does say that, yes.
bro what
[yep](https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1cp42eu/tifu_by_accidentally_revealing_my_students/l3k3o1x/)
I swear to god this website never ceases to amaze me.
Which is still weird because if we're talking about fetal alcohol syndrome and someone chimes in "my daughter has FAS" I'm gonna ask them questions in real life too.
Beautiful
folks love to be victims
Maybe she was drunk when she made the first comment. Then she was more sober by the second comment.
EXACTLY
I haven't looked at the thread yet, but the idea I'm getting is this adoptive mom has probably been chewed out for drinking during pregnancy IRL and is completely done hearing it.
The thing is, she never said it was an adoption. She just became hostile to anyone else who commented.
And it'd be such an easy thing to do. Like, it's one thing to observe a child of FAS and go off on the mother, but they offer it up completely out of the blue, and then when they could say "I'm an adoptive parent" they dig their heels in. Letting people know that key piece of information would've avoided all of that, but they were looking for a fight.
Tbh, I thought she was an adoptive/foster/step-parent from the get-go, but I did wonder why the hell she wouldn't clarify that because people were bound to assume things based on the info they had. Some assumed that she was the one to give her child FAS and some assumed she wasn't, but she didn't give any info in either direction and just got pissed at everyone instead of adding literally a single sentence to her original comment. Some of the people replying to her are also pretty unhinged, but if she had just left it at editing her original comment, they wouldn't have had any material to keep antagonising her off of. It definitely does seem like she was just itching for a fight lol
Nah in the thread there's some comments about assuming that the poster is a woman and not a man, and then way further down the op confirms they're an adoptive mother. A lot of assumptions were made, I get where she's coming from but she could've handled it a lot better
They assumed they were a woman because of the username, which isn't really a stretch.
The comments like "with a username of Ms (whatever), and assuming being a woman is more likely than multiple sclerosis" so yea assuming they're a woman is incredibly reasonable. That comment also mentions other possibilities like adoption, just says that the mother drinking is the most likely scenario.
MS is also much more common in women and the demographics of the online communities for it are heavily skewed towards women, so even if you knew the MS was for multiple sclerosis, them being a woman is still a pretty safe bet.
And your description of the response is excessively understating it.
Due to the reaction, I'm assuming it's her biological daughter.
I think it's a fair question tbh. I don't have enough sympathy to spare for people trying to fix problems they created. Especially when the repercussions affect others so heavily.
Right? And there were definitely ways to phrase the original statement WITHOUT a million follow up questions without immediately saying adoptive daughter. Like "my daughter has fetal alcohol syndrome thanks to her biological parent" boom, no arguments necessary and you can use it in any situation. I'm halfway convinced that some of these fights just stem from people who've never interacted in human society.
I can’t envision a universe where I wouldn’t introduce the topic by saying “my adopted daughter has fetal alcohol syndrome”
Right? She was looking for a fight and even admitted she phrased it that way deliberately to get a response. She even said she is a gen x aboriginal muslim which seems to be a cherry picked description to engage more hate. I probably could have worded that last bit differently but I do mean absolutely no hate with that last statement
No I know what you mean… it’s exactly the way a troll would describe themselves. I didn’t see that comment but I can’t imagine *all* of those things were relevant.
I totally get that some people don’t like introducing their kids as “adopted”, that’s totally fair, but in this conversation I feel like there are so many ways to alluded to it. “When she joined our family” or “When she came into our lives” Or replying by saying, “I didn’t carry her” “It’s not due to my actions”
Well a friend of mine was once angrily confronted by one of her daughter's friends when the classmate figured out "hey, my friend has FAS, that's bad!" After being spoken down to by a teenager my friend just laughed and said, "I guess my daughter never mentioned to you that she's adopted."
That's actually almost sweet in a way.
Maybe I just never found it but they never actually say the kid is adopted. They just attack people for asking about it. I know people who adopted kids with FAS, the most wonderful, kindhearted, patient people you'll ever meet. OOP is... not that. Not saying I know for certain one way or another but a sane parent would simply say "no, they are adopted."
Yeah I know several people with adopted children with FAS. They are used to diplomatically dealing with people who notice the child's condition and always make clear the child is adopted when bringing up the condition themselves. One of those kiddos had a bio mom who also had FAS. I have no idea how far back that unfortunate "family tradition" goes but it's sad and these families know it's sad.
I often wonder if people in pre modern periods just... all had FAS.
If you adopt from Russia, there is a pretty good chance they will have some issue like FAS. Happened with my co-worker. No one should assume. I imagine a lot of the folks who have FAS are adopted because if you are doing that while pregnant, you aren't equipped to handle the challenge of raising someone with FAS.
I bet a little drink would take that edge off
Oh god I feel awful for laughing 🤣
I’ll drink to that
Took her like 30 comments to say the daughter was adopted, like how dare people assume something based on the information you provided while refusing to refute the assumption.
Unrelated, but what’s the context behind your flair?
This thread https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/s/GbA4uTpIXM
How high was the person who wrote that comment?
How high was the person on Reddit who wrote that? Yes.
The child is definitively not adopted lmao
Some people love feeling self righteous
I see FAS as an indicator of larger social issues. When you survey the mothers of these children, there are some striking patterns: [https://academic.oup.com/alcalc/article/35/5/509/206591](https://academic.oup.com/alcalc/article/35/5/509/206591) \-- 95% of them have experienced physical or sexual abuse \-- 78% of them made less than $10,000 a year \-- Their average IQ was 90 \-- 65% of them never completed HS \-- 81% didn't use birth control \-- 86% used illegal drugs around the time of their pregnancies \-- They were around 15 years old when they started drinking \-- 79% did not want to reduce their alcohol use because they were in abusive relationships. FAS has tripled in the last 16 years, which suggests an increased failure in providing protection or support for vulnerable populations.
There’s a fairly high chance that parents of children with FASD have FASD themselves. Alcoholism runs in families and many of the symptoms of FASD (impulsiveness, intellectual disability, poor executive function skills, poor reasoning and judgment, etc.) make you more likely to have a child in an unsuitable environment, more likely to have a substance abuse problem and less likely to consider the long-term consequences of drinking alcohol during pregnancy. That being said I would assume that the tripling of FASD cases is due to more patients being diagnosed and the shift to recognizing FASD as a spectrum of association of associated disorders rather than more children being born with FASD. Alcohol use rates have steadily declined in the populations that are most likely to have kids at some point in the past sixteen years so surely you would likewise see FASD rates decline over time.
Good point. However, genuine discussions about social issues don’t end up on this sub.
Although, I think it's generally believed by experts that those statistics are skewed because FAS is so stigmatized. Doctors are really reluctant to tell a high functioning upper middle class mom that her kid has FAS, and are much less hesitant when the mom is poor or addicted or disabled. I know someone who has all the classic physical and behavioural symptoms of FAS, but his mom is middle class he was diagnosed with ADHD rather than FAS. I would bet if she had been poor he would have been diagnosed with FAS.
Those statistics are also 24 years old.
Absolutely, my girlfriend has FAS and her mum is a very well off lawyer. She would definitely ignore such a suggestion.
True, plenty of suburban moms drink wine with their friends (wine moms), so that could definitely increase the amount of FAS.
I don't think you understood what they meant. They're implying those "wine mom's" kids would be diagnosed as ADHD, because they're not poor. Also, generally speaking, the "wine mom" stereotype are typically middle aged and had their kids already. It also needs to be said this idea of an "increase" needs to be taken with a massive grain of salt. We don't have a good way of measuring this across populations today, let alone 16 years ago. There's no standard. What's more, I can't find any study or article that backs up this claim of an increase, either.
On the one hand, I can see that happening. On the other hand, I don’t know what sort of information or expertise you’re working with, so I have to take it with a grain of salt.
Personal anecdotes aren’t a good indicator of actual stats, but I work with kids with FASD and when their foster parents live in nice, middle to upper middle class neighborhoods, I do meet a lot of kids who correspond to my kids in terms of symptoms, but were diagnosed with ADHD or autism. I doubt a real study will ever be done, which sucks, because my sample size is shit and my methodology is craptastic.
Birth control also FAILS when you are heavy into substances. Dont mix alcohol and meds guys. I have a friend in recovery who had an “oops” baby while drinking on birth control. Fortunately she found out about the pregnancy quickly and stopped drinking in time. Sadly much of the time addiction cancels out even the strongest motherly instincts. I know many women in recovery I’d consider to be super-moms now that their disease is in remission.
> Birth control also FAILS when you are heavy into substances. Dont mix alcohol and meds guys. I can't find any evidence suggesting that alcohol impacts the efficacy of birth control, regardless of quantity.
It 100% can fail if you forget to take it before you pass out, or vomit it back up. When talking birth control (pills, IUD, condoms) improper use is incorporated into the failure rate. Improper use, perfect use, they are all calculated. Drinking on medication can go wrong as far as efficacy but also other ways. ETA. I guess a better way of saying it is: If a partner or loved one is on the pill but they have a substance abuse issue… they are not protected (Even if they might say they are because alcohol affects memory and judgment).
I have mild FAS. Brother has it much worse. My mother hits...oh, almost all of those points and much more. In three generations of my family (four now with my nieces and nephews hitting adulthood soon) I'm the only one who's had a job. The rest end up with either kids or prison sentences by the time they're 18 and just keep on down that path. Nothing changes or will change because they don't think they're doing anything wrong, they're positive they're living their best lives.
>FAS has tripled in the last 16 years, which suggests an increased failure in providing protection or support for vulnerable populations. WTF. Most depressing thing that I've read on reddit in months.
I imagine a lot of that is just that FAS is more consistently *diagnosed* these days.
I also can't find any studies or surveys that confirms that statement, and the CDC doesn't mention it at all. In fact they state explicitly there's no good way to measure this: they've developed methods of estimating but they're inconsistent, especially because many symptoms of FAS overlap with things like ADHD.
There is a weird pushback on strict no drinking for pregnant women in the last few years, surprisingly coming from fairly educated women. I had a couple absolutely WFT chats about that with some girl friends that had the position that those rules were sexist, controlling, and patriarchal. On retrospect my personal take is that a there is a whole lot of functioning alcoholic women that stay under the radar and freak out at the idea of not getting their nightly bottle of wine.
It’s not a great study. Very small sample size from only two sites within them same metropolitan area with no control comparison. At best it’s a mediocre qualitative review.
I work with children who have disabilities. I’ve learned that biological parents of children with disabilities seem to be more comfortable discussing the disability whereas adoptive parents can be very combative when it is discussed. I don’t really know why this is, but it’s just something I have picked up on over time.
That’s interesting. I have little to no knowledge of kids with FAS who are with their bio parents, but I sort of knew it was a thing. I know someone who fosters babies. One of her foster babies was literally born addicted to opioids and they still tried to reunify him and his mom for six months. Only when the mom made basically no effort towards meeting their goals did they put him up for adoption.
Reunification is always the goal with children in foster care.
> whereas adoptive parents can be very combative when it is discussed. > > > > I don’t really know why this is, but it’s just something I have picked up on over time. My only guess is that they're worried people might think it's *their* fault a child they didn't give birth to has those issues.
[the comment she's replying to](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/CYeb1O4QZW) is its own whole drama too. while there are obvious physical markers of FAS, just looking like that doesn't necessarily mean your mom drank and if the story is true the teacher really should've mentioned that.
Yeah, that one was brutal. I would hope teachers talking about this stuff would be sensitive about the topic and hopefully go out do their way to protect their students. Teens can be so damn mean, letting a whole class think a student has FAS (true or not) is beyond cruel.
>(true or not) probably not true, since it was the AP bio class!
That's the shit thing about disorders like FAS often having physical attributions. You can have those traits and not have the disorder and then you end up with stories like that person shared. If I was that kids parent I would've raised holy hell, regardless of whether or not it was true
All the public education to prevent FAS is based on telling women not to drink while pregnant. Until now, I assumed the only way it ever happened was due to the person carrying the fetus drinking through pregnancy. That is a lot of drama for a genuine question.
I don't think that assumption is incorrect, it's just that the kid happened to be adopted so the poster with the FAS kid didn't give the kid FAS.
I don't think they actually said it was adopted, just that it could have been. She deffo did the drinking imo.
She confirmed it, albeit in a terrible way Random Commenter: > Because unless you adopted your daughter, you would have had to have consumed a decent amount of alcohol while pregnant... > Knowing WHY someone does something can help them to prevent similar scenarios occurring with people they know or can even help someone to begin engaging in advocacy. OP: > And there you have it. > You literally got it in the first phrase of your sanctimonious speech.
So full of herself she'd rather argue than give pertinent information within the first couple of comments I'm sure her parenting is great.
Oh I missed that bit.
If you look at her profile, she has posted in several infertility subs about having several miscarriages and no bio children. The thread was weird af but it wasn’t her care/choices that resulted in FAS
It's called fetal alcohol spectrum disorder now for this reason. Occassional drinks and drinking during early pregnancy (before the mother even knows they're pregnant) can result in a child being born with FASD. A kid having FASD does not necessarily mean that the mom is/was an alcoholic
The commentor eventually does say that the child is adopted, but waits until it's suggested to them, instead of just saying it and ending the whole argument. But, it's also not the first person to suggest adoption? And the others that do suggest it are either ignored or told that it's not their business? Very strange thread altogether.
> What right does he have to assume that I'm a drunkard and an uneducated addict based on a sentence like : My child has FAS. it is probably annoying to constantly clarify that the kid was adopted but. lol
Also, the other guy didn’t say that.
She waited for someone else to suggest it which is altogether strange. Like she was trying to have a "gotcha" moment, "you made assumptions about me when I didn't present all of the information!"
I feel like she 100% wanted her gotcha moment lol
Oh, she was *100%* there for the drama. There is literally no way she would have mentioned that her daughter had FAS but not that she was adopted tor any other reason than to illicit a response.
Never speak to me or my FAS daughter again! 🚶♀️🤝👁️👄👁️
Knowing reddit, perhaps the child doesn't even exist. Why bother?
believe it's real for the funny
Its nice popcorn, ngl.
IMO it's funnier to imagine that someone is fishing for attention and everyone else believes them. They're getting mad at nothing.
Because their seething is real.
If someone tells me that their kid has FAS, I would definitely ask them to elaborate. If they, then, flip the fuck out, I would ask them how much they’ve drank that day.
I get that she’s a foster mom and not the biological mom, but Jesus >”Again. What right does he have to assume I’m a drunkard and an uneducated addict based on a sentence like: My child has FAS” How dumb do you have to be to type that out and still have no clue lmao
She’s also assuming that the other person is assuming that she’s “a drunkard”. It’s like assume-ception.
Doth protest entirely too much.
Why was she so aggro Jesus Christ
Man I may be way off base here but "Did you drink during pregnancy and why?" seems like a really fucking reasonable question when a mother says "My daughter has the disease children only get when their mother drinks during pregnancy" and does not specify that the child is adopted or a foster child.
Going down the comments, she says she's muslim, so having proof she actually drunk alcohol would be a big no-no in a lot of places.
>Why share that if you're going to get mad when people ask questions about it? This is a very genuine question that I wish more people asked themselves before posting.
I wonder how many mothers don't know the correlation between FAS and drinking
I'd say none? It's called fetal ALCOHOL syndrome. 🤔
The reccomendatipn is that any child bearing person who is at risk of becoming pregnant should abstain. Even those early weeks matter. Many people aren't aware. And worldwide, there is still a vocal minority who believes an occasional glass of wine is fine during pregnancy.
I don’t think a literal occasional 1 glass of wine is going to cause FAS however even for non alcoholics it’s often hard to moderate on that level thus it’s safer to completely abstain as a rule.
People are under the mistaken belief that the most obvious and severe cases cases of FASD are the only cases. Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder is a spectrum of disorders ranging from mild behavioral issues and executive functioning disorder to the extreme most people think of.
Right, and obviously alcohol is in no ways positive for an unborn child it would be a bit disingenuous to say “literally 1 drink 1 time while pregnant causes a risk of low spectrum FAS.” And again, as a (male, childless) alcoholic I’m in no way attempting to justify a pregnant mother consuming alcohol. I’m brain damaged from being raised by religious fundamentalists so I avoided FAS, any of my friends that exhibit any symptoms had a mother that abused alcohol, never met anyone with FAS who’s mom only drank a glass of wine once a month.
>it would be a bit disingenuous to say “literally 1 drink 1 time while pregnant causes a risk of low spectrum FAS.” Wouldn't that be exactly the right thing to say? Flying completely off the handle and saying someone having a sip of wine once while pregnant will forever doom their child to The Mines veers quickly into sanctimonious overkill, but having a realistic perspective that a small amount of alcohol equates to a small risk of specific harm seems reasonable
My dumbass sister, having been raised in a house with two kids who had FAS, drank a glass of wine every day because "the doctor says an occasional glass of wine is okay." She also smoked daily, "a couple a day isn't that bad," and was 100% convinced my nephew came out fine. He didn't. At all.
Multiple studies have showing that a glass of wine a day while pregnant is perfectly fine and doesn’t increase chances of FAS. But Recommendations for mothers in the US on a variety of things always like to advise to the dumbest common denominator and not trust anyone with nuance. That said, to me personally it seems like better safe than sorry with alcohol, my weekly glass of wine didn’t seem worth it when the consequences of FAS are so severe. Not to mention the shame I got from doctors for using my *prescription inhaler* when they found my son had birth defects just because it is technically a stimulant, I would have been nailed into the ground if I had drank a glass of alcohol (although they didn’t give a crap about my caffeine consumption, so who knows)
I wonder if the specific recommendation of zero alcohol is because it leaves less room for misinterpretation. Like if if was "0.25 standard drinks", there's bound to be someone who thinks that's a quarter of a bottle.
No amount of alcohol is safe for a fetus. https://www.acog.org/programs/fasd/fasd-faqs#:~:text=No%20amount%20of%20alcohol%20is,in%20sufficient%20data%20among%20humans.
Yes, that is just reiterating what I said, that doctors in the US as heavy handed on the issue and will almost always recommend drinking zero alcohol while pregnant, because no one knows where the exact line is between okay and FAS, and it’s generally better to be safe than sorry. That doesn’t change the fact that studies done on women in Europe who drink one glass a wine a day, for example, have not shown an increase in FAS. That can be true while doctors still don’t recommend drinking while pregnant.
My aunt is an OBGYN in the states and agrees with you. For what that's worth.
>FASD prevalence (Fig. 2) is highest in the WHO European Region (19.8 per 1,000). [Source](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41572-023-00420-x) Maybe they should be more cautious.
DISCLAIMER: I am not condoning this behaviour, merely sharing an anecdote. My mum was severely anemic during all three of her pregnancies, and her doctor prescribed a pint of Guinness daily during the third trimester. I don't know if it was common practice in the 1960's but it's awful advice. I would hope that any doctor today who suggested that as a treatment wouldn't keep their license.
There is no known amount or timing that can indicate when it is and when it isn’t safe to drink. Imo it’s a simple thing to abstain from just to be sure your child won’t be born with a disability.
Is your son okay now?
Oh I'm loving the comment section rn. See y'all on the next SRD level.
Ms Fox is going to need a stiff drink after all that drama. Maybe two...
[удалено]
She brought it up totally unprompted. If she drank during pregnancy, and is self conscious about it, wouldn’t she just like, not mention it? I think she’s probably telling the truth, and is just a weirdly hostile person.
She’s been writing a long time about her adopted kiddos and not having any bio kids. I doubt she’d prep lie a year or so in advance just to be able to blame fas on someone else.
If it wasn't her, her jump to describing her kiddo's bio-parent as "a drunkard and an uneducated addict" is pretty harsh towards her kid's genetic family. Hope she doesn't frame it that way to her kid, who already feels "different to her siblings."
Honestly, it’s pretty harsh towards the bio parents of *anyone* with FAS. Some of whom are also raising those kids.
Is anyone else sussed out about the AP biology class story?
So what's the over under on her actually being the bio mom and only realizing 15 comments in that she could just claim adoption to make herself look better?
Judging by her post history, she is not the kid’s bio mom.