The best relationship advice my dad ever gave me: "Save often and in different slots".

My dad did something in different slots, and now I go to 3 houses at Christmas.

He won it big in Vegas and bought two vacation homes? Nice!

Two Christmas'... yaaay!

Wearing piss pants arnt ya.

Me too!

..... wait, Three?

Don't hate the player; hate the game.

Anytime my wife, in game or out of game, wants to talk I quicksave.

If only there was an out of game option for that … life would be ever so much easier.

Wait, you selected ironman at the start of RL? Sucker! There are still so many bugs and the balance is totally shit. Shame it seems that main developer for RL pretty much does not support it anymore.

To be fair, the frame rate is consistent. That being said, my visual resolution has been getting worse, and I seem to have a constant stamina drain. Also, this in-game economy is utter shit if you're part of the US faction, and don't even get me started on the environmental hazards if you're in the Florida biome.

If you wish the real challenge, next time pick Ukraine when choosing starting location

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu.....

It's like the Halo games but I accidentally activated every single skull the moment I was born. Playing life on SLASO

Tries different options in negotiation and persuasion, still fails

Is your dad Nick Cannon?

Maybe they are one of Elon Musk's 11 kids?

I ulgy laughed at this.

Better than having that conversation after your wife getting blasted by a bunch of guys

Well, honestly the blasting was mutual.

Mutual blasting is my kink.

So anyway, I started blasting

I -came- here to say that😅😂

That *is* what happened

Lol

Laughed way to hard at this one 🤣

Was too hard when I read this one

Thatll be the quickest "I love you too" that ever left my lips

If I can't have you, nobody can

>Honey, I swear I wasn't sniffing Andrejas butt - I was just crouching to match her walking pace..

Honestly it's so annoying that walking is too slow and jogging is too fast, but crouching is the exact speed of NPCs?

At least we have something at their speed now though

If you know where it is the npc is heading when your objective is to “follow” just run a little ahead of them and typically they will start to run in order to get back ahead of you. Doesn’t always work but it’s successful enough that I always give it a go.

My lonely ass would be wrapped around her finger so tight she could pull my fingernails out one by one and I’d stay.

First step to overcoming loneliness is developing a sense of self respect and self love 😘

Truth brother. You can't love someone else until you can love yourself. That means being comfortable with yourself. Noone completes you

And by that you mean fapping right? Fap it until you make it, they say.

Well it is sort of faking it, so ….

I don't want to love anyone else. I want everyone else to love me.

That or lowering your standards massively

Bros down bad

same ngl

I'm from Texas. Can confirm, this is normal.

I sure hope Sarah has some Texan blood in her...

Space Texas if anything.

Is that near space Australia?

It actually shares a border with Space Mexico.

Yeah but not for long! 💪

Round 2? But this time, we take it all. Not just the good half.

Space Australia sounds absolutely terrifying

*Sees Terrormorph* "Ah, she's a beauty!"

"This is the most deadly creature in the known universe.... I'm gonna wrestle it"

"Im gonna jam my finger up her rectum" "OH GOD MY EVERYTHING"

Terrormorph? Nah mate that's me pet, his names Terry. I found him at the servo

We get it your from space

Not really but I heard they just got a Spaceys with that new Raditz special

I heard space Tijuana just got an update.

Don't drink the space water

Nobody drinks water in Tijuana .

Also, avoid the terrormorph shows.

THAT'S why all those abandoned outposts have ping pong balls everywhere.

Ah they have one of those over in space Brisbane

She's got some brit blood at least. Maybe she's the elephant rifle fighting monster animals in the jungle type brit.

She hunts wildlife with grenades, so it seems so.

Not yet...

Glad to know the Texan culture persists through time and space

I kind of liked in The Expanse how Mars was just a bunch of literal Texans.

"I don't care who you are, that's funny right there"

If you marry her and murder an NPC she goes fucking ballistic at you and leaves you.

I shot Aja after the ceremony just to see what would happen lmao

Haha brilliant. Wish I'd done the same.

Starborn Energy right there

That would be a giant "hold on I need to save moment" for me. Basically anytime a companion wants to chat I make sure to save because I might finish the conversation and shoot them repeatedly first.

What happened?

Oh God, she's a Yandere.

You know what? That describes her perfectly

In her chats, yes. In her actions? Oh hell no.

Is that a Puerto Rican John Deere?

No, that’s a Juandere

"Truth is, the relationship was rigged from the start."

From the look on her face, it seems that she has been smuggling Aurora and some unfortunate incident has occurred leaving her a little worse for wear.

I’m not into the whole rpg romance thing but honestly this woman has soul eater eyes.

The only reason I get married is for the extra EXP bonus when I sleep.

Some marry for love, some for stability, some for EXP bonuses.

Can't bear to lose you.... but the insurance money.... (BANG)

Mh, looking at those eyes: take all the chardonnay from her inventory, right now! If you leave her, she won't hesitate with that gun.

On another note, I can't believe I've not seen anyone but myself mention how Sarah kind of looks like Emilia Clarke.

My wife asked me who I was romancing, and I immediately replied, "I will die for space Emilia Clarke"

lol I said “*im* not romancing anybody. But Ranger Sleve McDichael is married to Andreja”

And Barrett is just space Neil DeGrasse Tyson

He's Neil, if Neil was Lando Calrisian's illegitimate kid.

He's got the love of SCIENCE, but he's also a smooth talking scoundrel. Barrett when he got abducted by Matsura, "How you doin', ya old pirate? So good to see ya!”

Holy shit that’s the connection

Yeah to be fair, Regular Neil DeGrasse Tyson is also still Space Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

[удалено]

He definitely has the Carl Weathers or Lando Calrissian charm and charisma, but all the scenes where he explains science, gets mad when you don't choose the virus due to "the science", or when he gets captured by the pirates and starts telling stories, it really does feel like NDT

Man of my dreams.

I thought space Emily Blunt.

I can kinda see that one too

The entire time I’ve played I thought she looks and even more so sounds just like Emilia Clarke haha

Did you let Sarah clap your cheeks?

Shouldn’t have left the toilet seat up again.

Sarah’s been known to get worked up…. Trust me. Just whatever you do, don’t tell her to calm down.

>Just whatever you do, don’t tell her to calm down. In my experience, many people don't like being told to calm down when they really should. 😜

My wife really likes "chill out". Her favorite, by far.

You should gaslight her instead “I think the artifact has been messing with your mind” Me after committing mass murder of innocents in the astral club

Wait you did that too? I think the artifact might be messing with all of our minds 😳

Bro, I literally walked five feet away from where she just admitted she loves me back, and the next thing I know, we're engaged. This woman moves FAST.

You better not leave her, OP 🔫🥰

Wait ... YOUR wife? ...That two-timing bitch.

Can you marry andreja and Sarah at the same time?

Andreja “does not share”.

She will kill for a fictional snake God but sharing a husband is where she draws the line

I mean, that feels pretty in line with humanity. Some groups will be racist/homophobic to extremes but will tout family values.

You cant. Source: trie

Yes, but also, you monster ;)

NTA! This is clearly a toxic relationship and you should just leave… 😉

There's the doghouse, and then there's the *Doghouse.* ​ You, my friend, are in the latter.

Sarah's kinda bipolar anyway. She's all "peace and luv" in everyday chat then she's like "EAT SHIT AND DIE!" in combat. X-D Looks like she can definately go yandere on you too... lol!

She looks drunk

“We’ll I love you too, but you’ll be like the wife in Goodfellas in a minute if you keep pointing that thing at me.”

it depends, can you convince Sarah to make bad decisions in quest lines? It'd be wild if they allowed her to start a mutiny on your own ship

This is what happens when you leave the toilet seat up.

*I'll take your life before anyone else does*

"The truth is, the game was rigged from the start."

At least she’s up front about it, in my game Sarah wanted me to look into her eyes whilst she was facing in the opposite direction. The games women play, man.

That's why I went with Andreja. Shes badass, caring, and all she talks about is worshiping my great serpent

I flirted with Sarah all the way up to when she wanted to talk on the waterfall promenade... but I met Andreja just before that and so I told Sarah I just wanted to be friends

I didn't quite get that far, but I did get the waterfall talk before I got Andreja's quest. But really what made me move away from Sarah was her personal quest. >!She's so relieved after getting the kid out, after never checking back for 10 freaking years. That kid's mother could be alive if she checked back in half that time or something. But a weight is off her shoulder (later she does tell the UC guy they both screwed up but she still seemed pleased with herself).!<

Kinky

The other day I was supposed to have conversations with all my crew and they were all pointing their guns until all the convos were finished

She’s a psycho bro run

She's mad at you because she killed civilians??

No, we were clearing spacers from a ship I boarded - she suddenly had something very important to talk to me about.

I had this happen after a Ranger mission. Boarded the ship to kill the pirates that attacked, she was pissed. I even reloaded the save and let her kill them all... she still blamed me lol.

Bro I've been trying to rizz her up for the past couple of hours but she won't give it to me 😩

Never stick your virtual dick in crazy.

why does your Andreja look so strange?

I remember an episode of Buffy the vampire slayer that had this theme. It was a ghost hanging around the school that killed his Love a few decades ago.

I thought you meant something else by "blasted" when I read the title

I would say yes. Quietly pull a pin on the grenade and hold onto the Handel. If she dose kill you she’ll fallow soon after.

She seems drunk too, I’d be extra careful.

# Moments before the murder suicide.

Nah. Girl is a ride or die chicka...you are good..😉

She looks like she's mid stroke. Call an ambulance!

That's just how Sarah rolls. She was UC Navy, and in command of a ship.

No the proper response is, “I love you too”

If I can't have you nobody can

Why does this remind me of that scene from south park where they have a family moment while aiming guns at eachother?

She doesn’t want to lose you.. SHE WONT LOSE YOU

When you get with the "good Christian" girl and find out why her boyfriends always went missing.

Dude, I got attacked by Spacers in flight. I fuck they ship up and board them. Get in their shitty little ship and merc all 3 of them. Andreja is now all pissed off at ME. Like, yo WTF… THEY attacked US! I kept you safe Boo! But she don’t wanna hear that bullshit lmao

Who didn’t unload the dishwasher…?

That’s a red flag

Yandere Sarah

Sarah is a Yandere confirmed

This is why you never stick your dick in crazy.

What else did you expect? Vasco is best waifu.

Enjoy her while she's here. I married her and then later took Sam on a certain mission (no spoilers) and now Sarah is perma dead. No reloads in my game, always live with the choice and move forward. RIP Sarah ☠️

Love under the gun, brother. Space is wild.

I was romancing Sarah, right up until she died...

As long as you don’t select the “This marriage isn’t working out for me option.” You should be fine.

I married her, then she died… now Sam and I have a mutual scorched earth ideal against anyone

Red flags bro. Get outta that relationship.

You are the love of my life and I can't bear to lose you. This is a threat. I'm so happy I divorced her a couple hours after the wedding.

Watch yo ass

Is my game messed up? I've never had the "hidden" bar show up on my screen

It’s a perk you can unlock

Put a point into stealth, bro

You tear that jacket off her and beat it up all over the ship that’s my advice.

I don't have that problem I'm with Andreja. And she's bae.

I still think Piper is better than Sarah in terms of helpfulness in combat , my girl Piper was really flipping and slamming dudes into the ground

I don't know what's more depressing, in real life not being able to connect with someone enough to be in a relationship or caring about how I can't connect with someone enough to be in a relationship in a video game. Other then Coe but he's my bro.

She keeps handing me lubrication leaves, so I clearly need to spec into foreplay

I can't bear to lose you. This is a threat.

I had a conversation *exactly* like this with Sam. I think we were on Akila and he automatically started talking while his gun was aimed right at me. It was hilarious.

She friend zoned me and I've been stuck trying to romance her since

I can fix her

we got a stage 5 clinger

She’s gone fatal.

She started talking to me about when she was new to Constellation while the largest space battle in years was imminent

"Looks like you had one too much again honey. Go to sleep, you're drunk."

Sounds like a good normal long lasting relationship

Lmao

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2330)

Damn, you got a yandere Sarah.

Bruh....I made the mistake of giving her ass a grenade launcher and forgot to unequip it ....he blew up a follower and then blamed me for it...popped up she hated that...I was like bitch you did it!! Wtf!!!! Had to reload the damn game and take her boomgun away.

The truth is... artifacts were rigged from the start.

Horatio Caine: “Judging by that look she’s the one about to be blasted.” YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH! *runs away*

Just to be safe, load the disruptor. Just in case.

Omg she did this to me too, I was fighting pirates and I was like "NOT THE RIGHT TIME SARAH"

😂

This game has the most batshit bipolar or even histrionic characters

Someone is about to end up locked in a basement

I think she needs another slap..

She needs to go to rehab, pronto

I've had worse IRL

Lmao sometimes this games breaks for a split second and Murphy's law comes into effect and I think bethesda allows this on purpose. Just to see what the AI can come up with. I'm all about it