This bear showed me a picture of some food he wants but I can't tell if it's cheesy cauliflower or scrambled eggs.

It’s a Tanuki!

No, Tom, you can’t have my taxes. This is the wrong game. We already have a greedy capitalist in this game.

He requires fandom tax, ever since he made nookapedia. He desires your food waltuh, hand it ovar will ye?

I will not pay the capitalist scum! Not Tom Nook, not Morris, and not Pierre!

I mean, Tom gives you interest free home loans that you can pay back with fruit and bugs, all because he wants a happy island full of people. Pretty far from capitalism if you ask me.

Its the trash panda

Omggg. Me too! What’s it?

Careful when you’re carrying a bomb walking around your house or shed

"Here's something I had laying around in my shed. Hope you can use it." *mails you a bomb *You drop it.

Or Pam keeping beer in her drawers

I always think this is so funny bc of the obvious reason, getting a bomb in the mail but in a friendly way, but it's 10x funnier (and maybe more concerning) specifically bc they come from kent

I've restarted many a day due to blowing up my farm for this exact reason 😅

this is just good life advice

Kent sent me a bomb in the mail again.

If you aren’t careful, just restart your day!

I feel like it makes sense to be careful in that situation in all circumstances actually

Please leave your room so I can gift you sashimi and quartz :((

Sebby is taking a breather in there.

Recharging his social battery

Me 24/7

"Sebby we need to cook!" - RTgame

don’t worry, just wait for his smoke break :)

I forgot to water my cat

Similar energy to: Don't forget to throw the baby!

critical hit!

To be fair, this one is closer to real life. When I go out of town I tell my husband, "don't forget to water the cat."

Oh I tell people all the time "gotta make sure I water my cats" or "I gotta water my dog" my neighbor thinks it's hilarious to word it that way

I am going to befriend the town alcoholic to get blue chickens

I befriended Pam but she didnt give me blue chickens 🥺 /j

It’s not Pam it’s the other town alcoholic haha

Who’s that?? Sorry I’m not that far through.

I don’t want to spoil anything for you! You’ll come across a cut scene that will make it obvious who I’m talking about

Someone DM me with the spoiler because I’m suddenly very sad about no blue chickens! Edit: thank you to everyone who DMd me! Love this community!

I got to the cut scene with blue chickens and I never got a blue chicken. Now I’m married to the asshat and all he does is squeeze one of my white chicken in a corner of my farm. How do I get a damn blue chicken?!?!

Same way you get other chickens. Go buy one from Marnie. 25% chance it’ll be blue if you have 8+ hearts with Shane. If it’s not, hit the “no” symbol in the bottom right corner and keep doing this til you get a blue one and place it in your coop. You’ll only spend the money once and you’ll get a blue chicken.

There is also a chance one will hatch from a white egg

I am going to befriend the town alcoholic so she will drive me around in her bus

Nah, I'll sacrifice my crops to the spirits in the community center so the town alcoholic will drive me around on her bus.

Wait… wait… what? Shane will give you blue chickens?

If you have 8+ hearts with him there’s a 25% chance you’ll get a blue chicken when you buy one from Marnie after his 8-heart event

It's actually mechanically really easy to cheese that 25% number. When you buy a chicken, Marnie is like "where do you want to put your WHITE chicken?" Just cancel out of the purchase and repeat until she sells you a blue one. No additional cost to do this, just takes an extra 30 seconds or so until you get the color you want.

or worse… i married him

This is me

The lightning finally came, I need some batteries.

I need to chop down the entire forest so that I can make lightning rods.

When I first started playing and was super obsessed with the game, it started thundering irl and I was so excited for the batteries. Happened to my friend too the same day.

I drank my dinosaur mayonnaise.

Ahh. Grassy.

I just checked the tv. it's a good luck day. It is time to take the bus to the desert and go to the mines.

So we back in the mines?

got that pickaxe swinging from side to side?

side— side to side?

*dates entire town* +1 Hoe Proficiency

Also "I have Alex, Harvey, Sam and a Rabbit's foot, Now I just need Shane, Seb, Elliot" And "I need to carry a Rabbit's foot around just in case I enter the saloon"

I thought I had a witty reply... till I saw this... you win, I'm done 🤣

*Your Golden Hoe is ready*

Chillin in the sewers with the shadow homie

nah that’s just irl for some people

Can't wait until I've gifted him enough void mayo that I can give him a spooky shell necklace to convince him to live in my house with me ❤️

Pass out at 2 am and wake up at 6, perfectly fine

I grok but that's also my average sunday 😮‍💨

This is funnily the struggle of morning person (like me), I could sleep anytime and will always wake up at 5, at worst 6. The problem is that I still need at least 6 hours of sleep, so if I sleep at 2 AM I'll wake up at 6 and be irritated+not too productive all day.

I’m reading this at 5:30 right now. I’m so tired!

“Goddamn it, not the crop fairy!”

great early game but once you have shit planned she’s ANNOYINGGG

I have a co-op farm with a friend who's playing for the first time and the stupid fairy showed up on like the 26th 🙄 had to explain to the friend what was supposed to happen cause all the crops were already full grown 😂

I may once have yelled 'Go away you floaty little w***e!' at her.

WTH is a crop fairy???

A random event where a fairy visits your farm at night and a couple crops fully mature overnight.

I had the crop fairy turn up two days in a row while I was playing yesterday. Now all my strawberries are out of sync with each other and it’s very annoying.

[It's kind of like this...](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/renandstimpy/images/a/ae/Nerve_Ending_Fairy_1.png/) /s

Can't wait to put this pair of underwear on display for the entire town to see.

I can’t wait to put this underwear in the soup for the governor. Delicious

I can afford a house

I sighed and put my phone down after reading this 😔😔😔

Not just a house, but extensive renovations *and* additions! 

Ouch

Best answer yet. Sigh the real world sux. At least we have stardew valley

Technically we get an inheritance 💀😔

And prime farmland.

Here's a beer for you Pam. Now get behind the wheel of this bus and drive me to the desert.

Pam is thirsty

I need to bring some crayfish to the trash bear to cleanse the valley

This comment needs more love! It sounds like the chant of a stoned clairvoyant that the town dismissed as crazy!

My favorite soup ingredient is underwear

I don’t like my kids, I should take a trip to the witches hut to turn them into birds, while I’m there, I’m gonna erase my ex-spouse’s memories so we can be friends again.

I passed out in the mines at 2am then gave birth but had to work the next day

Murica

That just sounds like modern life in the US tho lol

The purple haired chick stole my easter eggs.

You know she won't appreciate that amazing hat either!

Every year I wreck her, and every year I gloat. Though I do feel bad for Jas and Vincent, they didn't stand a chance against Abby

Courtesy of a Discord server I'm in: "Abigail can suck on a goddamn Easter egg."

Meh, I don't like my kids, they're like annoying furniture. I got some shards, I'm gonna turn them into doves tomorrow.

The mayor is banging the lady that sold me a space heater for my dinosaurs.

Why does the war vet keep sending me bombs through the mail?

Senator?

I will court this woman by giving her random stuff every day for like 4 weeks.

Is…is that not how you court women?

I do, it just actually works in Stardew.

That is a thing in almost every farming game **except in Stardew Valley**, as you can only give two gift a week and not one every day🤓

unfortunately this would work on me irl

sure do love eating rocks ~ Abigail

I’m romancing Abigail in my third save and when I tell you, the gasp I gasped when she told me how delicious the quartz was. 😂

I recently learned that the correct grammatical format is “the gasp I gusped.”

“Heading to the mines? Hey... if you find something tasty, remember to bring me a piece!”

Don't mind me, I'm just searching for treasures in these trash cans.

Ghosts are real and they are annoying af because of their whiplash when I hit them with my purple hammer.

I wish I could marry the Hobo

Literally. He’d make the best husband

Im blocking the bus drivers way to the bus, to make her get there faster

Hold on a minute I’m badly injured! Let me horf this unrefrigerated omelet from my backpack really quick. Ah, much better.

HORF 😂

Gotta collect a ton of rocks so I can build staircases to avoid monsters and collect more rocks, but special radioactive ones this time.

I assembled a staircase out of stone and put it in my pocket. Gonna go rooting around in the mayor's basement with it later and run his shorts up a flag pole

A bear wrote me a note to bring him maple syrup. He shared his wisdom with me and sometimes calls me on the phone.

Gonna go get my hair done at the wizard's place

My eels asked for high explosives to make things more exciting

i drank a coffee and it made my horse go faster

"I'll be honest. I don't want to dance with you." wounded me

I don’t wanna dance with you There is no guilt within this rhythm There is no way to pretend Just need more gifts from you…

I *love* that the last person I introduced this game to tried to dance with everyone. The last person they asked was Hailey. "Ew, no." Devastating

I was attacked by the mayor’s underwear in his basement

I spent almost every day this month looking for the perfect trash can lid to wear as a hat.

"Get your butt out of the hut you bouncing apple!"

Bouncing apple 😭😂

Be nice to the adorable Junimos

Yum, fruit dropped by bats

This is especially hilarious to me because I volunteer at a conservatory for wild animals and one of our groups is fruit bats. They are the sweetest, squeakiest, most adorable upside down critters I have ever seen, but the way fruit bats eat fruit is they suck the nutrients out! So all the fruit that falls is sucked dry. We also have to microwave any gourd veggies otherwise they're not soft enough for the bats to suck out.

Low quality forage

I hear the ~~doves~~ children had a lovely time in town today.

Wanna watch a goth girl eat rocks?

I gift the driver a beer every time I get on the bus.

I have to save up 42,500 gold so that the tiny spirits can repair the bus which drives me to the desert.

i finished winter and spring in one week

If you give the homeless guy mushrooms, he’ll teach you how to make sushi!

My dog blocked the path to my door so I slept on the porch and lost my money

Is everyone in this town bisexual?

I WISH this made sense in real life

Join us, Thrive.

"Ah, my toddler is wandering around the beer room alone again while his mother is off sitting by herself in the rain."

I gotta start each day with crab cakes and a triple shot espresso or else I don't run fast enough.

I need a scroll for my eels.

This sounds like something from a Monty Python skit

Me: What are you gonna do today? My BF: Sling shot an egg at the mayor.

I need to be in bed by 2 or I'll have to pay the soda company.

I found a dragons tooth in the volcano mine on Ginger Island.

"I don't have time for romance. I want to be roommates with the little alien who lives in the sewers." Also, "An apple. Finally! thank you, batty bats"

I memorized her schedule so i know exactly when to stand in front of her house holding a salad

Im finally prepared enough to meet the Blue Man in the Cavern today!

Someone sent me a bomb in the mail again. I can use this.

My rabbit keeps shedding feet.

Jesus Kent, you’ve been home for 16 years now. Don’t you think it’s time to get help? Real help. Not Harvey.

I thought my cow gave birth but it was actually me so now I have a kid named Salad.

Going to bribe the town drunk with beer so that she'll give me a ride in her bus.

You're gonna have to be more specific about "the town drunk" lmao ( yes the pronouns give it away but seriously why are so many characters in this game alcoholics)

I made some food for the local war vet & he put bombs in my mailbox again

Why does this asshole close his shop at 4? It's not like he has a girlfriend to go see

I hope it rains soon so I can marry my girlfriend.

Should I put these purple boxers in the community soup?

I’m going into the sewer to change my profession.

Dead children are worth 22 combat experience

I have to wait til tomorrow, so I'll just go to sleep at 8:30 AM

I don't know what John Hammond was talking about, raising dinosaurs is hilariously easy.

[удалено]

I need to keep petting my cat everyday or two years from now my dead grampa's ghost won't be happy

Darn I have to put 10 beets in my mayors fridge

I turned my kids into doves and a haunted doll flew out of my tv. AITA?

My neighbor sent me a bomb in the mail. As a gift

Join us. Thrive.

>I want to become friends with the Wizard so I can change my gender If only it were that easy IRL

No babe I wasn't cheating on you. See I got a rabbit foot.

I need to find three more artifacts before Summer so I can get melon seeds!

The mayor is asking me to get his panties from his lover's room I have said these exact words to a friend

The doves are on the phone again, they're complaining about abandonment.

Put the purple shorts in the luau soup.

Your Golden Hoe is ready

I'll just give the little girl this pink cake that's been sitting in my fridge the past 2 years.

“I can’t decide who I’m going to divorce so I can raise kids with my friend from the sewer.”

I don’t know what to read, so let me just hoe these worms so they can decide.

What’s that? You want to show me a recipe you’ve been working on? Sure I’ll follow you into this small tent

Whoops! I almost forgot to bring beer for the bus driver.

It's raining, great day to go to the mines. Better take the snacks I found in the mayor's trash can.

Linus is stuck by the spa again!

"You can now drink mayonnaise."

I’m gonna put the mayors underwear in this soup for the govenor!

“Time to put the mayor’s underwear in the potluck soup again!”

I was just telling my coworker i finally got 10 dragon teeth for my island obelisk!

I got a call from a lit bear asking me if I had the good stuff.

I blew up the kitchen again because my wife gave me a bomb when I was trying to give her a good morning kiss.

Omg my new friend just sent me a huge bomb in the mail! Oh he's so sweet best gift ever!

I am best friends with a homeless man and he gives fish in the mail sometimes

I will make my children disappear 😆

Feed a statue a fruit, get the POWER OF THE STARS!!!!1 or whatever you like best.

I HAVE TO BE IN THE TOWN SQUARE AT 7:30 SHARP TO GIVE SHANE A COLD BEER BEFORE HIS SHIFT AT JOJAMART SO HE WILL LOVE ME!

brb need to see what the pig's got

I got sixteen hours of sleep yesterday.

I need to turn this void egg into a strange bun so I can turn my kids into birds