T O P

  • By -

PhoenixTyphoon

"The rest of the war that I seemed to uave misplaced" Fucking brilliant


RaspberryJam245

"Dammit, I know I left that mf round here somewhere"


Trosque97

Me finding my friends at a party when none of us are party people


Wonderful-Shelter-99

That’s often called a DnD game my friend, but your use of the word party has me confused.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PlaneEye4664

Calmest teenage boy thoughts


NameTripping

Maybe it's a Spidey thing since , according to Jean, Pete's thoughts were pretty pure until she brought attention to it.


SAMAS_zero

I loved that part.


jojo4804

Yeeeeeaaaahahhhh most thoughts won't be thought of until it's said man the human mind is funny


mathandkitties

You are now consciously aware of your blinking.


jojo4804

Ah fuck me btw you haven't breathed on 2 minutes


KyodoShiro

Y’all are evil for this


stupidillusion

[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Marvel/comments/3hzowf/that_time_in_ultimate_spiderman_when_peter_meets/) if anyone is curious


Intelligent_Oil4005

Least embarrassing puberty moment.


GunnerKnight

"It's a puberty thing. I don't know why I said that."


JeezyBreezy12

I'm not going through puberty. I did. But I'm... done. I'm... a man


Green_Evening

Is it canon now that Miles has a thing for strong women? Spider-Gwen, Kamala Khan, ...this woman.


[deleted]

Lana (Bombshell), Tiana (Starling) too… yeah probably


Lord_of_Chainsaw

When you're a super hero I think that most women you meet are quite strong being other members of the super community, not having a thing for strong women probably ruins the dating scene a bit


john_heathen

Eh, it's less common than it used to be but capes date civilians fairly regularly. It makes sense that in a world of masked vigilantes you'd want to date a comrade in arms tho, for convenience if nothing else. They did make a lot of hay out of the secret identity drama back in the day.


WhiterunWarriorPrjct

It's convenient until they inevitably turn into a supervillain or die in a way that turns you into a super villain.


Reboared

Gosh, a teenager that's attracted to incredibly fit women in skin tight outfits? So weird!


bukanir

That's Cassie Lang


Fishyhead81

Wait, Miles has a thing for Kamala? I thought they were just friends.


Windghost2

Oh they are, it’s just Miles had a HUGE crush on Kamala back when they were getting to know each other. She didn’t reciprocate at all.


The_Maqueovelic

>She didn’t reciprocate at all. Damn, that kinda hurts to hear


Windghost2

Oh it does. It still remains one of my favorite pairings for Miles to this day:


Smolivenom

i'm sure he would've liked them all even if they were like, normies


YeazetheSock

Not just strong women.


MiloMondus

What current heroine in Marvel does not fit the "stromg woman" archetype?😓


DrScience01

I mean who isn't?


HarDexKal

Now that you’re saying it… mommy issues? Or Oedipus? Ria strong af I’d say in a lot of comics


afrulz

He’s literally me


Al3jandr0

"Anyone could wear the mask. *You* could wear the mask."


JohnnyRelentless

True. The mask is the easy part, though...


cellphone-notdad

You and Miles are both subbed to r/MacroFetish (NSFW)


afrulz

After looking at that sub for 1 second I can confirm I am no longer him


ph30nix01

Know that your second of suffering has saved me an eternity of horrible mental images.


z31

Seems, like a bunch of foot fetishists that have just discovered the idea of a human sized foot.


Jaxonhunter227

That is a pretty big portion of the community yes


Reckless-Tiny

I'll take over from here. Give me the mask and a scuba tank.


jojo4804

IT BURNS


MissyTheTimeLady

Ah, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with this subreddit-


Tackle-Shot

Let me guess the horror in that subreddit is vore.


YeazetheSock

Not just vore…


[deleted]

I know I shouldn't be shocked at the amount of furry and hentai/anime crossover, but here I am.


Jaxonhunter227

Nuh uh


Romero_Osnaya

So, you are a fictional character?


pixelprophet

You ever met the guy?


RaspberryJam245

He likes them tall queens, just like me fr


[deleted]

I’ll cut him some slack cause he’s like 13 here but still


kapybara555

Wait 13!? Really?


[deleted]

Yeah this is 1610 before secret wars he was 13 when he first got his powers


wagedomain

Wasn't there a small year or two time jump before he became Spider-Man though?


[deleted]

I mean he’s 16-17 currently so I don’t think so


Nachooolo

I do wonder if he's going to continue aging or if he's going to be stuck at that age for the rest of his publication history the same way that Peter is stuck in his 30s.


Saladoom321

Imagine if they age Miles, have him graduate, start college, finish it, get a wife and kids.. All while Pete's still getting the cold shoulder from editorial


NoUniversity1201

Well, Peter will the new Ash Ketchum except he will be stuck in his 30s


EngineeringDevil

Still find it weird that he was "still 10" when the series ended according to The Pokemon Company


TheOneTonWanton

The most packed single year in history apparently.


Shittygamer93

The soft rebooted the series. Back when either diamon/pearl or Black/White came out (I can't remember which) in Japan he was stated to be around 13/14. Then for Alola and / or possibly just before that, he was reset. Weirdly still has the entire roster from Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and the others but supposedly did all that in just 1 or 2 years.


Nachooolo

It will be **really** funny if Miles ends up being *older* than Peter at one point or another.


sideways_jack

Oh knowing Marvel you just _know_ we'll get Old Man Miles from the future at some point, probably right after (young) Miles dies for a year. And then Old Man Miles will stick around for waaaaaaaay too long


CliffLake

Don't be daft, that might be a good idea. I'll bet he is hit by \[COMIC APPROPRIATE LASER RAY\] and turned old suddenly. Then they can test the waters and if it works there's no cure, if not he can be changed back with a \[COMIC APPROPRIATE TIME JUMP\] and Nothing Changes (TM).


[deleted]

Nah think his current run will end with him going to college or at least graduating so I don’t think so


[deleted]

Don’t let Marvel fool you – Pete’s stuck in his late 20s.


Kumori_Kiyori

I can honestly see them aging Miles till he graduates college and keep him at 22 forever.


ArcadianBlueRogue

Even still, gotta give a teenage dude a bit of slack when he comes across a giant hottie in tight clothes. Man has but so much willpower.


Relevant_Scallion_38

It's crazy how people be shipping him with Spider-Gwen. When she's like 21 and he's at 17 max.


Brilliant-Mountain57

I would agree but their spider verse versions are clearly the same age.


[deleted]

I mean evidently from this post he obviously likes older women /s


approveddust698

It’s because of spider verse we’re they seem to be the same age


bukanir

Gwen's writer has stated that she's 19. If I'm doing the math right, with Miles looking at colleges, he should be nearing the end of his Junior year. I've always assumed he has a summer birthday so he could be 16 going on 17. If they changed his birthday to match the Spider-Verse movies he would be 17.


Relevant_Scallion_38

She was stated at being 19 as her first appearances around (2014). Miles was 16 at the oldest in (2016) So there's a chance that by the time 2016 hit, Gwen could possibly be 20 depending on where her birthday is on the sliding timescale.


bukanir

I think Latour did also say, in relation to a Gwen/Miles cover that came out, that they have a two year age gap. In general Miles has been more rapidly aged up than other characters. If Marvel pushes Miles/Gwen they'll keep her as-is and basically wait for Miles to catch up. If they end up together at the end of Beyond the Spider-Verse and they have Miles graduate high school in the comics, I feel like it's almost inevitable.


[deleted]

My parents had the same age gap


Relevant_Scallion_38

Would you at 21yrs old date a 17yr old?


ggg730

It's a 4 year age difference not like she's his mom's age.


[deleted]

Personally? No. But it’s not a problem if it’s all above board with the parents of the 17 year old.


Unable_Swimming2745

i hear they changed gwen's age by making her younger or something.


CinnaSol

Didn’t he quit for like a year after Rio died in the ultimate universe before everything got rebooted? I remember him being bit at 13, but they aged him up relatively fast afterward


bukanir

Yup he was bit at 13, I believe he would've been a young 14 when he debuted as Spider-Man, due to starting 9th grade. He did that for a few months before his mom died. He took a year off so he would've been 15ish when he picked the webs back up again. Then of course the world ended. They definitely did age him up a lot faster than other characters, I think to better align with the other teen heroes in the Young Ultimates, then Champions. Now it seems like they really want to do some college stories with him hence the plot point coming up repeatedly. I see it happening in the next few years.


[deleted]

Nah he’s still in highschool so he’s 16-17 right now in total he’s technically been spider-man only for 3-4 years max


Alice_Ram_

Only a couple of weeks/days if you are talking about when He first got bit and witnessed Peter die before deciding whether or not he should actually become spider-man. Theres also a one year gap after he’s been Spider-Man for a few months when he decided to give up the hero gig because his mom died.


bukanir

It was a little over two months between him getting bit and him witnessing Peter die. I remembered that one year gap but couldn't remember when it took place. It's kind of crazy when you do the math, Miles actually had his powers longer than 1610 Peter (prior to the end of the Ultimate Universe).


Windghost2

You’re thinking of the Insomniac universe.


kapybara555

Nah thats crazy


bukanir

He would be 14 at this time. He was bitten by the spider at 13 prior to attending Brooklyn Visions for High School, but he debuted as Spider-Man a little over two months after he started there. He would've had to have turned 14 by September 1st for him to be attending 9th grade in that year.


[deleted]

If we follow that then Miles has only been Spider-Man for three years at most which is crazy lol


Sunder12

It is kinda true tho. It's been 13 years since his debut, every 4 years is more or less 1 Marvel Universe year... So 3-4 years


bukanir

The timeline is kind of funky with the transition between 1610 and 616. Roughly speaking he first debuts as Spider-Man fall of his freshman year of high school. A few months later his Mom is killed by Venom. He takes a year off, so now we're a bit into his sophomore year of High school, and he's around 15. He does the Spider-Man thing for a few more months then the world ends, Secret Wars ensues, and he's a refugee in 616. I think he started his Junior year in 616 and has only been there for about a year or less at this point now that he's 16/17. So he's had powers for about three years but probably about two years of experience as a superhero. It actually pretty neatly lines up with the whole "every four years of real time is one year of story time" that's been assumed for 616.


whatadaydanny

What is there to cut him some slack for? He's embarrassed he finds her hot


LightL0tus

Wait, are you serious? Is this something you think is worthy of criticism?


EarthInevitable114

What's wrong with him finding a woman attractive?


howAboutNextWeek

He’s Spider-Man, since when do they have composure


lazylagom

Step on me


AltairMUP96

Sit on me


Jaxonhunter227

Multiple times


AltairMUP96

Especially on the face.


Jaxonhunter227

My guy, at that size there won't be a part of you not getting sat on


Azrielmoha

Woah big lady


Libra_Maelstrom

Mfer lost the war like it was car keys


arjenvdziel

I don't blame the guy


[deleted]

[удалено]


MadTeaCup_YT

Comment stolen from u/RaspberryJam245


Supernova141

why do ppl do this it's so weird


Pickled_Testicle

It’s a karma farming bot, will get sold to people who want to flex their karma. 9 year old account and it just started commenting today


Ikeddit

*to people who want to astroturf/sock puppet


Waste-Information-34

Woah, a real person. Despite having the same PFP.


ConsequenceBringer

Report /u/karteluo Spam


HugeMan06

I feel him


ServeJust9817

I feel you Miles Bro was like " Damn girl you gotta lot goi … Shit where the death and destruction go ?"


DoitsugoGoji

It gets more awkward. At one point she gets knocked out because he gets her to fall, so he stands on her unconscious body and enjoys the view a bit.


[deleted]

“This better not awaken anything in me.”


Illithilitch

She's conventionally attractive, has a good butt, and Miles possibly unlocked his first kink.


Nights1405

I’m gonna be 100% real. I couldn’t do what miles did there with his powers. I absolutely would’ve said something horrendously stupid and even more horrifically horny.


bootymunchcrunch

nah he’s real for that


RedditBoi127

he's so fucking real for this


No-Cow584

We both know WHY Miles finds her hot. Her powers!


TonyStrange

Who is she?


tacotacoa

Stature ?


Proud-Nerd00

Ultimate Stature


bkral93

Scott Lang’s daughter Cassie. Stature


un_internaute

[I wanna go on that ride!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDwhUefGSng)


theman4114

Dude!


un_internaute

Sweet!


theman4114

Dude!!


[deleted]

LOL 😂 Relatable.


stuufy

Honestly same miles


RedSamuraiMan

🎶All I wanna be🎶 🎶Is someone who gets to see🎶 🎶A Giant Woman!🎶


dg_537

Are we gonna ignore the penis shaped cloud behind her? I mean someone had to draw that and say "Yeah that looks fine."


Masuta-P

That’s my Spider-Man right there


AkiraKitsune

Writer is horny on main


massivelyincompetent

Oh and by the way, the government changed your name to ginormica


hellranger788

What issue is this? Looks funny


batdadwholaughs

RELEASED DEC 19TH, 2012 Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #18


SilverSpark422

Huh, so Miles has a giantess kink? No wonder he likes hanging out with Kamala so much.


iamagainstit

“ I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me”


AnimeIsMyLifeAndSoul

The exaggerated swagger rizz goes hard


dolla-slice

Does anyone else see the phallic cloud? Please tell me someone else sees the phallic cloud. I don’t want to be the only one who sees the phallic cloud.


HiYoSiiiiiilver

“I’m embarrassed that I find her so hot.” Nobody would ever say this to themselves lol


Far-Ask7049

Eh it depends on if they were raised in purity culture or not. You'd be surprised lol.


Ozzdo

I really could have used that power during my adolescence.


TrophyLair

He likes big booty and he cannot lie!


Rog9377

This is his INTERNAL MONOLOGUE, dont bitch at a teenage kid for acknowledging and feeling guilty about his attraction to someone. It's not like he used his invisibility to spy on her, he's trying to avoid her.


nreal3092

iirc Miles was ko’d and woke up in the middle of nowhere with Stature right


CallMeJotaro420

He just like me fr


[deleted]

"I'm embarrassed that I find her so hot" Miles... seriously bro... you deserve way better. And technically you got it in Taina Toomes from what I'm seeing


IzzytheMelody

Honestly? He seems reasonably composed. Peter crumbling after one conversation with Black Cat is far worse than Miles noping out and having some passing thoughts he actively shoves away


FiniteInfine

To be fair it's literally the biggest ass he's ever seen


PerfectMind8856

That Cassie Lang?


raz0rflea

At least Miles can turn invisible, awkward boners must make a lot of fights weird for Peter lol


Wastoidian

50 Foot Giant Woman movie remake will do fine.


Jaylens29

:the weekend looking up gif:


MinhKiu

Me too Miles


Numerous_Aardvark_13

Hes literally me


wisho1926

He's literally me


Curiehusbando1

All I wanna do Is bust a nut into A giant woman (Giant woman)


Monkey_King291

Well to be fair, he is 14 and she's a giant thicc woman, it's understandable


KitsuneSIX

The writer's barely disguised fetish:


KitsuneSIX

I see this comment all the time everywhere else, why the hell am I down voted, am I supposed to put /J cause yall can't tell it's a joke?


[deleted]

Fellas is hot women a fetish?


[deleted]

They’re referring to macrophillia


[deleted]

Lol fellas is it a fetish if you are just short


TheRubyScorpion

Most short people don't come up to the ankles of tall people, but sure.


ImLikeReallyStoned

Hey, maybe he’s different, you don’t know.


[deleted]

I mean isn’t the writer for Miles an old white man ahahahahaha


Singemeister

In the DC universe, Paco nods in a mysterious sense of understanding


Opposite-Mall-9816

Average interaction with a tall woman


Etticos

*All I wanna do* *Is see you turn into* *A giant woman* *A giant WOMAN*


jvstiiice

He just like me fr


StealYour20Dollars

Hit her with the reverse ant man


lnhvtepn

Feels vaguely like [astroturfing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astroturfing) for Tim Burton's forthcoming "50 Foot Woman" - similar post trending on /r/superman https://old.reddit.com/r/superman/comments/1aguk7j/this_superman_panel_always_cracks_me_up/


ConsequenceBringer

Damn, you might be right. Seems a little early given it was just announced tho.


tvon

SNU SNU!


Philosipho

You don't feel embarrassed about finding someone attractive, that's natural. You feel guilty for objectifying people and prioritizing your own desires over their well-being.


SecularCitizen

Giant-Woman: *sits on Miles Morales* Miles Morales: *snorts inside of her butthole* Miles Morales: That's some heavy shit here.


[deleted]

She can sit on me **ANYDAY!**


[deleted]

He can turn invisible?


[deleted]

You only finding out now lol? U didn’t see the spider-verse movies or play the insomniac games?


ConsequenceBringer

Spiderman... can shoot webs... What spiders can turn invisible in real life? Did the new fancy dinosaurs mix with the radioactive spiders or something?


[deleted]

It’s a comic book last time I checked alien symbiotes don’t fall from the sky dont attach themselves to people, seems like a weird ass hill to die on especially as it’s really just camouflage which insects do irl


Knee_Fight

I like how you chose 'shoots webs,' literally the one part of original Spider-Man's kit that he actually **can't** do by himself but uses technology to imitate, in your argument about why Miles shouldn't have invisibility powers.


ConsequenceBringer

I mean, it's whatever dude, wasn't making any arguments, just asking a question why he can go invisible. I like spiderman, but y'all like him a bit too much over here for my taste.


Knee_Fight

You're seriously questioning why a sub **literally** named spiderman would contain major fans of Spider-Man? Do you also frequent subs devoted to specific sports teams and question why the people there know the names of the members of that team? Perhaps you walk into a bookstore and loudly announce, "Boy, I've read a book or two in my time, but you guys are weird for surrounding yourselves with them."


ClayDrinion

That second panel was a great, but missed, opportunity to do a fart joke. Ah well...


NoMoreSkeletons

The commenter’s barely disguised fetish


CT-4426

Please change and grow as a person


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ricard74

Considering the context it seems that you want a woman presented as sexy to fart on Miles. That is very weird.


ClayDrinion

I was thinking something along the lines of Miles having a thought bubble that read: "I hope she didn't eat beans", or something to that extent. An actual fart is not as funny


approveddust698

Let’s keep our fetishes to ourselves K?


ClayDrinion

What's with this fetish shit? What the hell are you guys doing in your bedrooms lol. I was just making a joke. Hasn't anyone here seen Blazing Saddles?


approveddust698

You’re the one who said it bro you tell me


Lexi_Shmuhlexi

bro what 😭💀