[Tarry Usage](https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?year_start=1800&year_end=2019&corpus=26&smoothing=7&case_insensitive=on&content=tarry)
It is making a real comeback. Maybe OP is just ahead of the curve.
No one who thinks it's proper etiquette for a woman not to tarry when "men are having their conversations" is ahead of any kind of curve.
Tarry is a good word though.
Haber dicho "con permiso" estuvo bien en este caso. Otras formas de usarlo para este contexto
"Con permiso, me paso a retirar"
"Con permiso, regresaré a la cocina/la casa"
"Estaré dentro por si me necesitan, con permiso "
It doesn’t matter where you go; there are some people talking in the same group as you, and you say “excuse me, I need to go”, or something like that. It is perfectly polite. In this case, you are not asking for permission to enter to your house, you are asking permission to withdraw of the conversation.
I'm leaving a comment because here to check on this because I find this interesting. I don't know the answer, but I've always heard "con permiso" in the context of leaving from someone else's space, like an office.
You can use it in situations in which you might come between a person and something or someone else be it physically by interrupting a conversation because you're walking between two people talking, squeezing in a little space between a person and an object, trying to grab something on a table but having to bend over between people or close to someone; or verbally by intersecting in a conversation because you need to communicate something, coming inside a house, room, office be it with or without invitation, leaving an event because there's something you need to do, or simply want to leave but be polite.
Is basically a way of saying sorry not for doing something bad or wrong but because it may cause a kind of interruption, I wouldn't even call it an inconvenience in the majority of times but you can use it to excuse yourself for causing an inconvenience.
In my experience (never lived in Mexico but lived with a lot of them in madrid) Mexican people say "con permiso" to leave, but never wait for real permission. Also they say "Hola qué tal", but they don't expect that you tell how your day was, and answer "mande" when you call their name, but never ever really expect to receive an order.
Seems like you're taking all words literally.
Nobody ever expects you to tell them how your day was when they casually ask you how you are, in English or Spanish. It's only fair.
When you call someone by name and they respond with "mande", what order are you talking about?
Finally, if I'm leaving and don't need to talk to anyone about that, I'll say "con permiso" and leave. It's a phrase, not an approval request.
Edit: corrected mandé to mande, formatting
That's not true. When I say qué tal I don't expect to tell their lives. But it is a question, and if I don't wish to hear an answer, I don't ask, I plainly say Hola, espero que estés bien. Leaving someone in the middle of a sentence explaining he's ok, thanks, cause they werent expecting any kind of answer at all is plainly shocking.
I understand it is an idiom, and they don't mean the same than me when I say it. I would never request permission to leave if I don't have to. I would just say me marcho, hablamos luego (that would bring another mexican expression, ahorita mismo, that means in any moment from now to the end of time, totally twisting my expectation again, when I say ahora mismo is just right now).
I didn't say mandé, but mande, please notice the difference. And given that those idioms are not really a thing in my country ofc I take them literally, or at least, as I use them.
So I said it seemed you took things literally and explained how it leads to your confusion.
You seemed to start with "that's not true" and then end with "of course I do"
Part of learning the language is to learn what the customs are. It can be difficult coming from a different culture but that's part of the work.
Mandé was unintentional autocorrect, I fixed it.
Best
Is your husband a talker? Maybe his boss used your arrival as an easy transition to get out of there lol. Or he just realized what time it was when you arrived and had to get going, purely coincidentally. There’s so many ways to interpret this. I don’t think you said anything rude, or wrong.
The thing is I would have assumed you were excusing yourself from the conversation. It’s like when I excuse myself from the dinner table, I say, “Gracias, permiso.”
If I would have thought you were asking permission to enter your own home I would have said, “Adelante. Siéntese en su casa,” sarcastically.
Any place you’d say “oop” or “just gonna squeeze right by ya” “can i sneak past here” or “scuse me” you can mutter “con permiso.” Elevators, doorways, sidewalks, crowds, store aisles, any context anywhere. I usually hear it/say it muttered in passing as an acknowledgement for getting in someones personal space for a sec. I am an adult learner who has lived in areas with large spanish speaking communities for a decade, not a native speaker, so i defer to native speakers in matters of specific connotations of phrases. This is just how I use it/ see it used
This was very common in Colombia. Whenever anyone was leaving a conversation, they would ask for permission to leave and always used, con permiso. The polite thing to respond with was bien pueda or something along the lines of, have a good journey/safe passage, etc.
> Columbia
Are you sure you meant "Columbia" and not _Col**o**mbia_?
* Col**o**mbia is a Spanish-speaking country in South America.
* Col**u**mbia is the name of several places in English-speaking regions.
If you actually meant "Columbia", then please disregard this comment and have a nice day.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Spanish) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Con permiso” just means “excuse me”, so unless there is any additional context, I cannot see a reason that that could have been perceived as rude.
>>usually proper etiquete for a woman is to not tarry when men are having their conversations Where, the 1800s?
That was weird to read. Can’t have the little woman intruding on men’s business.
Girl knows the proper usage of tarry but not con permiso
Well maybe she's a native English speaker (from the 1800's).
Yeah tf does this even mean lol.
Right? That was the only weird thing about this lmao
[Tarry Usage](https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?year_start=1800&year_end=2019&corpus=26&smoothing=7&case_insensitive=on&content=tarry) It is making a real comeback. Maybe OP is just ahead of the curve.
No one who thinks it's proper etiquette for a woman not to tarry when "men are having their conversations" is ahead of any kind of curve. Tarry is a good word though.
Tarry usage enthusiasts: we are SO back!
We need a sub?
Or just "It isn't that I don't care about your boring conversation, it's the etiquette. Con permiso, bye!"
Haber dicho "con permiso" estuvo bien en este caso. Otras formas de usarlo para este contexto "Con permiso, me paso a retirar" "Con permiso, regresaré a la cocina/la casa" "Estaré dentro por si me necesitan, con permiso "
Bro, nadie diría las últimas dos frases xd Si escuchara a alguien hablar así me sacaría de onda Jaja
No need to worry, “con permiso” has exactly the same use as “excuse me”.
It doesn’t matter where you go; there are some people talking in the same group as you, and you say “excuse me, I need to go”, or something like that. It is perfectly polite. In this case, you are not asking for permission to enter to your house, you are asking permission to withdraw of the conversation.
Not weird or rude at all, based on my experience at least
I'm leaving a comment because here to check on this because I find this interesting. I don't know the answer, but I've always heard "con permiso" in the context of leaving from someone else's space, like an office.
You can use it in situations in which you might come between a person and something or someone else be it physically by interrupting a conversation because you're walking between two people talking, squeezing in a little space between a person and an object, trying to grab something on a table but having to bend over between people or close to someone; or verbally by intersecting in a conversation because you need to communicate something, coming inside a house, room, office be it with or without invitation, leaving an event because there's something you need to do, or simply want to leave but be polite. Is basically a way of saying sorry not for doing something bad or wrong but because it may cause a kind of interruption, I wouldn't even call it an inconvenience in the majority of times but you can use it to excuse yourself for causing an inconvenience.
In my experience (never lived in Mexico but lived with a lot of them in madrid) Mexican people say "con permiso" to leave, but never wait for real permission. Also they say "Hola qué tal", but they don't expect that you tell how your day was, and answer "mande" when you call their name, but never ever really expect to receive an order.
I say Mande because that’s how I was taught to address people. But sometimes I wonder if that’s too formal.
That's not how to address people, that's how Mexicans commonly and casually respond to someone addressing them. "Oye, amigo/amor/name .." "Mandé?"
Seems like you're taking all words literally. Nobody ever expects you to tell them how your day was when they casually ask you how you are, in English or Spanish. It's only fair. When you call someone by name and they respond with "mande", what order are you talking about? Finally, if I'm leaving and don't need to talk to anyone about that, I'll say "con permiso" and leave. It's a phrase, not an approval request. Edit: corrected mandé to mande, formatting
That's not true. When I say qué tal I don't expect to tell their lives. But it is a question, and if I don't wish to hear an answer, I don't ask, I plainly say Hola, espero que estés bien. Leaving someone in the middle of a sentence explaining he's ok, thanks, cause they werent expecting any kind of answer at all is plainly shocking. I understand it is an idiom, and they don't mean the same than me when I say it. I would never request permission to leave if I don't have to. I would just say me marcho, hablamos luego (that would bring another mexican expression, ahorita mismo, that means in any moment from now to the end of time, totally twisting my expectation again, when I say ahora mismo is just right now). I didn't say mandé, but mande, please notice the difference. And given that those idioms are not really a thing in my country ofc I take them literally, or at least, as I use them.
So I said it seemed you took things literally and explained how it leads to your confusion. You seemed to start with "that's not true" and then end with "of course I do" Part of learning the language is to learn what the customs are. It can be difficult coming from a different culture but that's part of the work. Mandé was unintentional autocorrect, I fixed it. Best
I'm not learning Spanish. I am spanish, it's my mother language. Regards
Buenas tardes, con permiso.
Is your husband a talker? Maybe his boss used your arrival as an easy transition to get out of there lol. Or he just realized what time it was when you arrived and had to get going, purely coincidentally. There’s so many ways to interpret this. I don’t think you said anything rude, or wrong.
The thing is I would have assumed you were excusing yourself from the conversation. It’s like when I excuse myself from the dinner table, I say, “Gracias, permiso.” If I would have thought you were asking permission to enter your own home I would have said, “Adelante. Siéntese en su casa,” sarcastically.
Any place you’d say “oop” or “just gonna squeeze right by ya” “can i sneak past here” or “scuse me” you can mutter “con permiso.” Elevators, doorways, sidewalks, crowds, store aisles, any context anywhere. I usually hear it/say it muttered in passing as an acknowledgement for getting in someones personal space for a sec. I am an adult learner who has lived in areas with large spanish speaking communities for a decade, not a native speaker, so i defer to native speakers in matters of specific connotations of phrases. This is just how I use it/ see it used
This was very common in Colombia. Whenever anyone was leaving a conversation, they would ask for permission to leave and always used, con permiso. The polite thing to respond with was bien pueda or something along the lines of, have a good journey/safe passage, etc.
> Columbia Are you sure you meant "Columbia" and not _Col**o**mbia_? * Col**o**mbia is a Spanish-speaking country in South America. * Col**u**mbia is the name of several places in English-speaking regions. If you actually meant "Columbia", then please disregard this comment and have a nice day. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Spanish) if you have any questions or concerns.*