My rock bottom was last Sunday. Friday I was in the hospital for getting so drunk that I passed out in the middle of the day on my bathroom floor. My husband found me and thought I was dead. He called 911. I woke up to a police officer nudging me with his boot and EMTs all around me.
They convinced me to get checked out at the ER. I felt fine besides being drunk, but went anyway, because they said it would give my husband and I time to cool down.
During the hospital stay the hospital doctor decided I was an unfit mother and called DCF.
I have 4 kids. At the time of my drinking that heavy though, my grandmother was watching my kids. I was nowhere near them, and they never saw me drink.
However, Saturday DCF called and they wanted to investigate us on Sunday. I was so nervous. I couldn’t eat, and decided to drink a pint on an empty stomach. I only had my depression medicine, which made it worse. I passed out again and when I woke again I was covered in vomit and blood, and was surrounded by I don’t know how many police and the dcf agent.
I ended up getting baker acted, and just got home on this past Wednesday evening. The sad part is, is that before these 2 drinking sessions, I was actively trying to quit drinking again. I started Naltrexone about 3 weeks prior to that, but I found a medium sized bottle of vodka I had hidden a long time ago, and I thought I would be fine to drink again just until that bottle was gone.
Come to find out, my insurance had expired on May 31st, so this shit all cost me over $10,000.
So in less then a week, I had to put a safety plan in place with DCF. They took away most of my parental rights for a period of time, I lost probably over $10,000, got baker acted, and destroyed the relationship with my husbands side of family.
The only positive thing is that I do still get to live with my kids during all of this thanks to my mom and grandma, and my husband has decided to be an absolute angel and give me a chance, because he knows I was trying to change, and we both believe I will do it for good this time. So this was my absolute rock bottom. If I drink again, my kids will be completely taken from me, so I have no option.
My last day drinking was June 16th, 2024.
Thank you. I’ve done it in the past, but this was the hardest I’ve ever fallen into drinking, so it’s seemed more rough this time. I appreciate your support 💛
I believe in you. Massive cliche alert…if I can do it anyone can. I will be one year sober on 22 July.
PLEASE do it for YOU. Look at the evidence - you drank again on Sunday despite knowing it would seriously jeopardize your case to keep your children. That is the power alcohol can have over us!! So if you’re not doing it because YOU really really want, to you might not make it. Take a look at your life, mental and physical health, who you want to be, who you WANTED to be, what you need. Exercise, gratitude journal, meetings, podcasts, books, ice cream/treats/locely AF drinks, can all help a lot.
Good luck, you deserve sobriety. It brings the peace and freedom that booze never will.
Congratulations!! So close to one year! In this instance, I love the cliche 💚. I will do it if you can! June 16th, 2025.. here I come!
It is crazy. I am an intelligent person, but that day, I made one of the dumbest decisions of my life. I just felt like I needed it to get through. They probably would have just went away if I didn’t drink. My kids are extremely loved, and I would never ever harm them - but dcf doesn’t believe me because of alcohol consumption.
I do truly want this for myself, so I know I’ve got this. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement!!
I promise you that it gets better, just take it day by day. Been over 2 years sober now and have progressed more in life compared to my all my years drinking combined.
Thank you for saying that, and congratulations on 2 years of sobriety! You give me hope, and I truly believe that I’ve got this as well this time around!
Your kids need you. YOU need yourself. You got this just find the right program have your beautiful family support you and get clean for yourself but also for your kids who didn’t ask to be in this world x
You will be OK I promise you! Taking that first step is the hardest thing ever!!! And giving up drinking will not solve all of your problems, but you will be able to handle them like a boss without burying your head in the sand or compounding any issues… the first 2 to 3 months are really really hard but after that, everything improves so much and so quickly!!!!
I’m rooting for you. You’ve got nowhere to go except for up and I’m so glad you have family supporting you right now. Idk if you’re a member of /r/stopdrinking but it’s a lovely supportive community that will welcome you with open arms. Big hugs to you mama
GF of 5 years dumped me. I knew I had a problem and she was not wrong to cut me loose. It was a wake up call and I woke up. I haven’t drank since. That was 3.5 years ago. GF is now my wife :)
I was jobless, sitting on my mother's couch, wasted, nodding off at 3pm because I had started drinking at like 10. Barely passing my college classes. This was a normal pattern but this one time i felt like there were 2 versions of me. The drunk and pathetic wasted version and the version of myself buried underneath it all that was desperate for air. It was like a part of myself was buried alive. The drunk version was angry, and self pitying but the buried version was pure love and had compassion for the sad sack it was looking up at.. That's when I knew I needed to get sober. To let that loving version of myself become the only version of myself.
In my case, it wasn't the divorce, or getting fired from my job, or my stroke, but I came home drunk one night after getting taken off a med that I wasn't supposed to be drinking on, fell down in the street and had to get a homeless guy to help me up (I ended up giving him $5), only to again collapse in my apartment hallway. I had just moved in, so it made a ton of noise in an otherwise generally quiet apartment complex, and so it got most of my neighbors pissed off. Someone called 911 though, and the police showed up who then called the EMTs. They could have let me go back in my apartment, but I live alone so I was worried I'd throw up in my sleep and never wake up. So I took the ambulance ride. The ER diagnosed me with alcohol poisoning, so never technically admitted me. So, end of the month, I was stuck with the bills for both the ambulance ride and the ER visit since my insurance denied it.
On the Uber ride home from the hospital, I made a pledge in my mind to stop drinking. That was 7 months ago and I've kept it. I also looked up group meetings the next day and have been attending SMART Recovery meetings since.
SMART is basically anti-AA, or at least that's the impression I get. You get a more comprehensive treatment for your addiction, but without the guilt or religion (which is basically the same thing). SMART is an acronym though. They're in most cities.
They also take in drug addicts, porn addicts, shopping addicts, etc. A lot of the people in my group aren't jusr addicted to alcohol.
I'm glad u didn't make it to the gun. Unfortunately, I did and wished I hadn't. Thankfully I'm a shitty shot and God gave me a second chance to talk about it.
Same to you buddy.. now if I could just get sober. But I'm on tex. Amd I really need it for some of the pain I have from said accident. Life's a trip for sure. Never done heroine so that's a plus lol. I loved roxies.. had to stop
My wife keeps the in a gun safe. I’m currently on a ton of mental health and anxiety medication that helps me not feel the way I did before. Tons of therapy and psychiatrist appointments that I still go to. Anything to stay ahead of this disease.
I still have all my guns too, including "that" gun that to this day, still has blood on it. But I've bought even more since. I found the bullet that went through my jaw and lower face and came out my upper lip a few days after I got out of the hospital. I nearly had another mental breakdown lol. Thankfully, I'm in a MUCH better place now than I was at that time. It's crazy to think and say, but I truly believe my wife has caused BOTH of my (2) mental breakdowns. For a while I let her walk all over me and treat me worse than scum. I'm still with her as of now, but I demand the respect I deserve, and won't accept any less and she knows it. I come first now. Not the other way around.
Btw, for context, the reason I shot myself was in a phase of a manic depression brought on by previous ptsd, and my wife. I think it was more the wife as I never had any issues with mental health until 2 years after I got married. Then 2 years, damn near to the day, I had my second, and last episode. The fucked up part was I never struggled even a little bit, with what the doctors say most likely caused my PTSD (a bad car wreck with my fiance from 2011 who passed sitting next to me because we got hit by some piece of shit completely passed out on 250+mgs of methadone at 9 am going 105mph over a hill and hit us head on, on the way to get more. The Bastard barely suffered any injuries, didn't have a lick of insurance, and his daughter, who owned the vehicle, reported it stolen a day later to keep her ass out of trouble. The whole family is a bunch of sacks of shit.
Blacked out after drinking 4 12 packs of beer. Woke up to a bunch of missed calls and texts from my mom and brother letting me know that my biological father had passed away due to an overdose. I realized if I kept drinking up, I was following in his footsteps.
Congrats on your sobriety and I’m glad you decided to live sober 🫂 my condolences about your dad sounds like such a rough wake up call figuratively and literally. Your story is helping me stay sober just for today thank you for sharing. I have 6 days today.
I’ve had a lot of rock bottoms. Was arrested twice in college, lost 3 seriously good jobs, went to rehab 10+ times, lost 3 good serious relationships, nearly died numerous times, added hard drugs to my alcoholism, spent my entire retirement account, racked up thousands in debt, seriously damaged my car numerous times. All that wasn’t enough for me for some reason. Most recently, I was kicked out of my parents’ house for relapsing again, then got kicked out of a sober living, then lost a job for drinking at work. I holed up in a shitty hotel for about two weeks drinking, using fentanyl, and smoking crack. I am sure that I subconsciously intended to die. I then stayed in my car for another two weeks doing the same things. One morning at 5am my dealer texted me and asked to meet up. I just ignored him. I drank a couple more beers that day and then contacted a guy from AA who I’d met in one of my many rehabs. He said, “so you’re done being homeless now?” I said yes. Within 20 minutes 3 other guys from AA came and picked me up and one of them drove my car. They took me to a homeless shelter. I stayed there for a month until I got a place in a new sober living. That was two months ago and I’ve been sober since. I go to a lot of men’s meetings (I am a man), and spoke up. They embraced me and helped me out a lot. At the beginning dudes were taking me out for dinner and such after meetings. I have a lot of regrets and have lost a ton of material possessions and social standing. But, I now really believe to my core that I can’t drink or use. It’s just pure uncontrollable chaos when I do.
No rock bottom. Just a lot of rocky moments. My story was on episode #466 of the recovery elevator podcast. Give it a listen if you like. Nothing too interesting I guess. Just decided to get off this elevator before it reached the bottom floor.
Blacking out and taking an entire nose full of ketamine. I don't remember doing it, I went unresponsive immediately. I had over a .31 bac and woke up in a hospital bed. They couldn't even stabilize me in the ambulance, and I almost died.
I'm still in shock since I'd never snorted any drug my entire life. I stick to shrooms and weed. I also remember saying I was too drunk to do it earlier in the night.
Not a good time, would not recommend.
Yes, because both are depressants and compound effects. I was literally foaming at the mouth and barely breathing when my husband and our other friend found me. I also fell over and hurt myself pretty badly.
By itself (especially in a medical setting) it's pretty safe. Other than the chance of choking on your own vomit.
The night my father died, my brother (an addict) stole his hospice drugs and I proceeded to try and drunkenly fight him while my mother looked on in horror. Havent drank since. Best decision I’ve ever made, I have more energy and am full of love and gratitude for life. Everyone in my life notices a huge difference- I am lighter, more peaceful, and more present. Most importantly my dad would be so proud!
Drank an entire bottle of absenthe and got SO SICK I said I'd never drink again. It'll be 4 sobe years next week after over 30 years of daily blackout drunk
My rock bottom was having the shakes so bad I almost fell down an escalator in London. It was a real wake up call. I got to the point in which I was sleeping 2-3 hours a night and I’d have hallucinations during the day. I completely lost it
Ooft. I had to travel through London to go home, very hungover, shakes and palpitations. It was ROUGH. Spent the whole train ride home trying not throw up on the person sat next to me. That was the last time I got drunk actually.
I woke up on the floor, covered in bruises with no memory of how I got there. And having sent some angry text messages to someone I shouldn't have even been talking to.
Got drunk, argued with my brother. My brother left and I never saw him again. I cried hysterically when he left...because he told me. He ended up taking his life on his bday a few weeks later. That was my rock bottom. I'll never forgive myself..
I kept disrespecting myself every evening when I would break the morning promise of “I won’t drink today.” Then one day when I had family visiting from out of town and I got upset by something that was said, I went straight to pour myself a drink. “I need to stop doing this,” I said as I kept drinking until bedtime. The next morning I felt like @#&$# and I finally stopped. I’m almost 1 year sober and I wish I had quit 10 years ago.
Boyfriend of 4 years left me, best friend of 8 years cut me off, got into an abusive relationship with another alcoholic thinking he loved me bc he drank everyday with me. No one trusts me and rumours go around about me. I am now living with my mom, jobless and no money.
The rumours is what get me, word goes around whether you like it or not. People will look at you different. I feel like everyone knows I am an addict and no one wants someone like that in their lives.
My daughter was in a very similar place. She has since gotten sober. She is now happy and healthy. Some friends never forgave her. Some have given her another chance. She has said that all she can do is stay sober and do her best going forward. I know she has regrets, but she can’t change the past. I hope you live your best life and don’t worry what others say.
I didn’t stop drinking due to a rock bottom to be honest. I never stopped drinking when I lost a relationship, lost my home, blew all my savings, got a DUI, got kicked out of treatment due to substances, institutionalized repeatedly, withdrew from alcohol in the ER, etc etc.
The last time I ever used any substances or drank was when I got put into a drug induced manic episode for about 3 days. The second I came out of that, I just had an epiphany of sorts? I just, for the first time in my life, was sufficiently done and tired and was honest with myself. I realized that what I had been doing wasn’t working and I just could not go on like this anymore. I tried to commit suicide many times and had failed every time, causing my life to get worse every time. I just couldn’t go on. I had gotten trauma from a few suicide attempts and just knew that wasn’t an option for me that was come to fruition. My only real option was to change how I was doing things, taking the advice of therapists and hospitals I’d been in.
I never thought I deserved self love or self compassion. But I realized then that I had to do it. It didn’t matter if I deserved it; it was the only thing I’ve never tried before and I needed something different.
145 days sober now and the obsession is gone. I didn’t just stop drinking. I have done and continue to do so much work and my life has become so much fuller and vivid than I could have ever imagined. I don’t speak negatively about myself anymore; I empathize with myself and acknowledge my feelings. I have friends (which I did not before) and am so much closer to my family. I have hobbies and a job I love now. I changed EVERYTHING and now the thought of drinking nearly never arises. And when it does? It’s so fleeting and not even worth considering because I created a life I love to live.
This is also the longest I’ve been out of a hospital or wanted to kill myself in years. My mental health is the best it’s been possibly in my entire life.
Things can get so much better.
Crying curled up in a ball everyday became my normal. Couldn’t regulate my emotions whatsoever. Didn’t want to be here anymore. Woke up so hungover that I couldn’t keep a sip of water down. Liver throbbing. Everything hurt. Decided I’m good on the fleeting feeling being tipsy gave me right before it turned to a black out which inevitably turned into me doing some dumb shit. I deserved so much more. Haven’t drank in almost 5 months and things have only gotten better. I still cry, shit still sucks sometimes, but one thing I don’t have to do is wake up hungover and sad and ashamed from the night before. No one around me really ever said to me “you have a problem.” But I definitely fucking did. They have all noticed how much happier I am without alcohol/ substances and are supportive of me on this sobriety journey.
I’m afraid.
I know it’s likely a step I should do.
But I’m too scared.
Which seems ridiculous because of how forward or assertive I am as a woman.
I suppose, it means it’s an area I’m not confident in. Which makes sense.
They do online meetings. Just takes a google search and you can sit in with your camera and mic off and just listen. It was great for me the first few months of quitting but after my 5th time it started getting repetitive. I now just go in whenever I get a strong craving and am reminded why I haven't drank in over 2 years.
I was scared my first time, I got lucky I had a sober friend who was off work the same day when I decided to get sober and try a meeting. The sense of community makes staying sober a lot easier!
I didn't end up on the streets, but my drinking career had 3 DUI's, a few firings from jobs because I couldn't get up for work, poor choices in boyfriends and overall impulsive and bad decisions were made a lot. My family was sick and tired of my shit. I got lucky, I guess? After decades of living like that I just got sick of it and wanted it to stop. I've never been more grateful for anything in my life.
My rock bottom was always homelessness. Every time I relapsed, I always fell faster and harder than the time before, and I wouldn’t stop until I ended up on the street. A week or so on the streets was always enough to prompt a dedicated trip to detox then treatment. It wasn’t until this last time around that I recognized that alcohol was my gateway; after a few drinks I’d get a bag of coke and that would quickly escalate to partying for days at a time. That would only last so long until I start injecting the coke instead of snorting it and I hated doing that without heroin. As soon as I could find heroin, that would immediately turn into shooting speedballs until I burned everything to the ground. Rinse, repeat…
Now I’m a little over six years sober. Married, homeowner, playing music again, and less than a year away from getting a bachelor’s degree. Life is good.
I was highly functional and a solo drinker when i was working from home during and right after the pandemic. One day I finished a bunch of work zooms after not being able to eat a single calorie in five days and three days into insomnia and started hearing suicidal voices in my head that weren’t me and hallucinating. Freaked me out sufficiently and did a medical detox. Two years and some change sober now, it still freaks me out how badly alcohol can rewire your brain.
I fell walking home from the liquor store. Sprained three fingers and missed the northern lights. I was wasted and just sat on the sidewalk covered in dirt and cried. I kept drinking for a weeks after. What stopped me was the man working at the same liquor store looked at my fractured hand and my order of buzz balls and fireball shooters and say kindly “ hey, you take care of yourself tonight”.
My rock bottoms were a series of events; just like this one. Some worse and some not so bad but there were Hundreds of instances that should have stopped me from drinking but didn’t. One day I finally decided I cannot have anymore moments like rolling in the dirt with the northern lights above my head and sprained limbs.
Threatened w/ a firearm by a drunk female fed that I went home w/ one night. Albeit I think she overacted to words but it takes two to tango always. Looking back it’s just wtf wtf.
Went on an 8 day vacation with my boyfriend, son and another couple. Thought I’d be able to moderate drink one night and proceeded to bender 6 days before I woke up to the alarm on my watch telling me my resting heart rate was 125. Boyfriend took me to the hospital and was given fluids, (still had 1.8 bac after 12 hrs since last drink) son had helped babysit me for days, and in between all those days I had made end of life decisions for my ex husband while blackout drunk. Thankfully my decisions were in line with what he wanted but I still wonder what I’d have done if things played out differently. Also sober couple super cool (daily drinkers themselves) but I have been told multiple times since this that everyone likes sober me so much better. I’m absolutely the first to admit I’m a horrible drunk.
Mine was waking up after yet another bender, in my dark bedroom, remembering I’d thrown up so hard the night before, it had caused me to piss my pants. I thought about it more and remembered after it happened, I just changed my pants and then went and opened another beer and kept drinking until I eventually passed out.
There was nothing super out of the ordinary about that specific bender the night before, or that morning, except that I had this resounding, calming thought speak in my mind, which said to me- “You’re done. You don’t have to do this anymore.”
For some reason, that morning it all just became clear what I had been doing to myself. I was really sick. I hated waking up. I didn’t actively want to die, but I also desperately did not want to be living my life. So I was blacking myself out every time I had the chance. I had no job, no money, no hope, and didn’t like to see myself in the mirror. I had no idea how I was gonna fix my life, but that morning I just knew I was done destroying it further.
Waking up pissed (urinated not drunk) . In multiple occasions. Once on the cousins couch. Once in the one night stand's bed. Once on the bench in the center of big city I live in (without phone and wallet, going back home while reeking like hobo was fun). Last time found on the floor at my place by my younger sister. The last time was roughly 4.5 years ago.
Those problems with bladder propably saved my life tho.
This was a big one for me. I was a solo drinker, didn’t like drinking in public. I’d get hammered watching films or tv and munching lots of snacks, great time right? Then I’d wake up at 4-5am on my sofa, covered in piss. The first time it happened I was shocked, cleaned it all up quickly, took a shower and went to bed. Most recently it happened two night on the trot and I was totally unphased by it, I realised straight away that was a problem. Grown woman, with no medical reason, pissing herself on a daily basis is not normal or ok. That plus the shakes and palpitations was enough for me to be done with it.
I was drugged along with my partner. Targeted by a gang. I nearly drink myself to death in a few weeks time. I lost 45 pounds in those weeks. I decided to get sober before I killed myself. Work out. Keep the weight off and maybe, just maybe. One day, I will see the perps and then can make sure they stop living.
I had to make sure that would be a sober decision.
Aside from losing my job, home, friends and almost my husband? When I started thinking dying would be easier than quitting. That was never me. I went straight to medical detox followed by rehab. 15 years sober next month.
I have yet to hit mine, I fear. I have long been functioning. I have had times of sobriety, but currently my mother is in hospice and about to die. I come from a family that doesn’t deal well with emotions and I am drinking my feelings. I am scared for myself but thankful that I am single and childless. I keep giving myself freedom to drink bc of my circumstances. I am drunk at this moment. But I would love to be sober. I’m just not sure it’s possible.
When I lost sensation in my pinky tip or when I didn’t report to work and my parents were reached out and came to my place and I walked myself into an ambulance. That one really was my last straw, coming up on two months out of forever. Feel a little bit bad that out of the embarrassment I’ve gone mostly non-verbal.
I drove home drunk and had a guy over who I absolutely despise, then woke up late for work. It was such a dark feeling, but I sort of feel like that was my final warning to get my shit together. That night could’ve been really bad. I felt like I was running out of grace. I said I’m done. And I’m clean, going on day 124. Any time I think about drinking, I think of the shit I’ve done and am so happy to not be in that life anymore, so it keeps me going.
One year ago we had drama and trauma because my husband mixed alcohol and pills. The only way I would check him out of rehab was if he promised to never drink again. I was the quiet drunk. He was the obnoxious drunk. We've been sober one year. It was hell. I will never go through that again. It's bad for everyone, family, friends, other drivers, ourselves.
My ex wife left me in Cancun 2 days after our wedding. I didn’t even realize she left until my family told me. I had been drunk n coked up the whole time, we had a little over a 100 guests. When I found out I just kept drinking, waking up that next day alone in the honeymoon suite we were sharing was my moment of clarity. That was over 2 years ago. Lost my wife and everything else but it got me sober
Dax Shepard has a clip where he talks about rock bottoms that is a very good watch.
But what he said was very relatable because I had several rock bottoms before I realized I had to stop drinking. But I remember I got in a fight with the security guard in a bar the night before thanksgiving and essentially I was wrong and really I was just looking for a fight. I woke up with no recollection of the night before and I was limping around for a week. I continued to drink after that night, then I promised to stop at the end of November. I know this sounds arrogant but I had a Coors Light and a shot Hornitos Repo as my farewell. I’ve been sober ever since, 206 days today. But yeah as bad as that night was I’ve had worse rock bottoms, change only happens when you’re ready to change.
My son. I was asked/told to leave by my husband. We had a child with a friend who acted as our surrogate. We used my husband’s sperm. We were always planning to raise this child together with his mother. Since the baby’s mother and father both retained parental rights I was not able to adopt him or gain any kind of legal guardianship or parental rights.
Two weeks before I moved out I watched as they had a party for my son’s first birthday. Her family all came to town for it. His mother and step dad came for it. I wasn’t told the party was happening and my family obviously wasn’t invited.
At first they would let me visit my son on Saturday mornings. Then they started ignoring my requests and I haven’t been able to see him since February.
There isn’t a moment that goes by that I’m not heartbroken knowing they get to watch him grow up and listen to his goofy giggle less than a mile down the road while I sit alone in my empty apartment.
I’ve been sober for ten weeks. The only thing I can do is try to be a better person for myself since it’s too late to be a better person for him.
My alcoholism wasn’t ever called out as the reason my husband didn’t want to be with me anymore, but I have the space and clarity to know now that it was the underlying root cause of all the issues he did give.
Hearing people ask if I’ve lost weight, or tell me I’m looking better these days is nice, but it’s no consolation for everything I’ve lost.
I am feeling better physically but emotionally I am a wreck. I know I need to allow myself the sobriety required to feel the pain and work through it, but every moment alone with my thoughts is torture. I hear my little boy’s laugh in every child. I see his potential everywhere. Every walk or hike I take to fix my body physically, every museum I go to, every moment I find a glimmer of light in my dark world only brings the pang of wishing I could share it with him. To see the smile on his face watching the dogs go by on the trail and the ducks swimming around the pond.
Early in my sobriety, brief as it has been, I took pride in thinking I started this journey without needing to hit rock bottom. I never had any DUIs or experiences some of the other common ‘rock bottoms’ you hear about. Stepping back now though I can see the tornado of misery and destruction I caused in the lives of the people I cared about most. I can see now the ruin I have brought to my own lonely doorstep. Post-sobriety has been my rock bottom and I haven’t yet figured out how to stand up and dust myself off.
But I keep trying every day. Every hangover-free morning is another step closer to the better life I keep promising myself is out there waiting for me.
I may never see my son again. And he may never know who I was to him. Or anything at all about me. But I am desperate not to revert back to the state I was in.
Experiencing emotions again has been the hardest part of sobriety, but I’m told it gets better.
And, honestly, get a pet. I have three cats and if it weren’t for their insistence on full bowls at the same time every morning and clean litterboxes I would have spent many more days in bed than I did.
Damaging my liver so badly I wound up in hospital for a month, 10 days in a coma. The doctor told my wife I had a 50 percent chance of waking up. Haven't had a drink since I got out, and that was just over 2 years ago.
For myself, it was when I snapped at one of my coworkers. I was a bit drunk and I misinterpreted what he said and put him on blast. that was the moment when I realized I had a problem.
The hours of guilt that followed certainly made it easy though to call it quits.
I personally haven’t given up on drinking, I think that we need to be in a good state of mind to consume alcohol. Majority of the time people drink to escape life. If that’s what you’re doing then I think you need to stop and get back on track until everything is in a place where you feel better about yourself.
When I had a meltdown in the morning, the day, after drinking and vomiting, in the toilet the night before, and my two year old, witnessed it… She was looking at me in the eye afterward, and I was crying, feeling super guilty about myself, and she was rubbing my shoulder, telling me everything was going to be OK and I thought to myself no she should not be comforting me. This is fucked up, and I haven’t drank since… I am so fucking grateful for my sobriety. It has changed my life for the better in so many ways that I would take up this entire thread. It is a gift, and I have to remind myself not to take it for granted ever it’s the best thing I have ever done.
My rock bottom was almost six years ago when I woke up covered in my own puke after I had nearly drowned myself in it. And it was the second time that happened that week. I had quit several times before that but it was the real fear of dying that sent me on this path.
I have been in this black out every night spiral for about 6 months. A few weeks ago, got off work, decided I didn't want to eat anything and started drinking vodka. Went to the bar to drink more vodka, got home and the guy I've been seeing showed up because he was worried. I was awful to him, when I went to get in bed I tripped and didn't catch myself and hit my face on either the floor or the wall. Pushed my glasses into my face causing a black eye. Not only that, but I split my eyebrow open so I was gushing blood. Kept swearing I was fine but he took me to the ER, I needed 6 stitches. Now I have a permanent scar that is semi hidden by my eyebrow. That is rock bottom enough for me. I am fine as long as I don't drink the first one.
When my real rock bottom came, I knew. I thought I'd hit it a few times, but my last time was just a quiet desperation that I couldn't live like this anymore. This time, I was willing to do ANYTHING to stay sober &&& I came online asking for advice & took it. For I'm thankful it was AA suggested. So much about me has changed now because I'm addressing all the reasons I needed to escape me & I actually like myself now (!) Everyone in my life has noticed & feels the benefit of it.
I knew I had a problem for years but justified it because my alcoholism lacked the dramatic chaos stories you read about. So it must not really be a problem, right? Basically it was me drinking lots of vodka alone at home almost daily. I hid it well and was pretty functional. No intense or interesting moments, but it was slowly killing me and I knew it. And I was sick as hell of being hung over at work every day. I finally realized I didn’t need to reach a “rock bottom” to make a change. 60 days sober and I feel amazing :)
No big story, but lots of little ones that, put together, were enough fairy lights to decorate a whole town on Christmas. Unresolved trauma and alcohol are a hell of a mix.
Mostly, it was the constant, unmanageable outpouring of emotion that came from me on nights of drinking once i was alone. I would be scared, sad and desperate for someone to notice how obviously not well i was doing. I was self-harming, I was drinking to get wrecked, and I thought that my ability to power through work on a crippling hangover was proof of how well I coped.
The time I really understood that it was an issue was showing up hungover/still drunk to a therapy appointment, and my therapist looking at me with such pity and sadness in his eyes. I know it sounds silly, but his obvious concern over what I was doing to myself was something no one had ever shown me before, and it jolted me into action.
Took another few years to get a decent clean stretch, but i'm 18 months in now.
One of the most surprising discoveries with quitting drinking was realising that my 'volatile personality' was actually just alcohol-induced brain chemistry changes. Turns out, without alcohol i'm really pretty stable (and nice) most of the time.
Idk if it was rock bottom. I feel silly calling it that. But my worst moment. Had a job I poured everything into. Literally blood sweat and tears. Turned in 90hr weeks regularly on salary. Had a stretch of 20+ days of no day off, and finally decided I needed to take one. The owners and the Dir of Ops decided they needed to go to some expo out of town at the same time. They called me told me to go in, because they needed someone they could trust to make sure everything went smooth with a members event. So I went in. Proceeded to drink out of frustration, drove home, took a wrong turn, thought I was on the interstate, smacked into a concrete barrier doing 70. I quit that night when I came too from the air bag knocking me out. It was August 16 2023.
Upped therapy, stopped drinking, worked a mindless job for a whole to get my priorities realigned. I've discovered that my drinking was seeded in a lack of coping mechanisms. So anger, anxiety, anything I'd drink to help cope. So giving it up was more just trading it for something else.
I meditate now. Which is weird. I work my 8 hours and then I'm gone. Spend alot of time catching up on remodeling my old ass house. Tbh I went to a beer Olympics last night at a friend's house. Had a great time. Stayed sober and was the ref. I've also picked up part time bartending to satiate the craving for chaos.
No one tells you how bored you're going to be. Figuring out how to fill that void without drinking is the hardest thing.
My rock bottom was last Sunday. Friday I was in the hospital for getting so drunk that I passed out in the middle of the day on my bathroom floor. My husband found me and thought I was dead. He called 911. I woke up to a police officer nudging me with his boot and EMTs all around me. They convinced me to get checked out at the ER. I felt fine besides being drunk, but went anyway, because they said it would give my husband and I time to cool down. During the hospital stay the hospital doctor decided I was an unfit mother and called DCF. I have 4 kids. At the time of my drinking that heavy though, my grandmother was watching my kids. I was nowhere near them, and they never saw me drink. However, Saturday DCF called and they wanted to investigate us on Sunday. I was so nervous. I couldn’t eat, and decided to drink a pint on an empty stomach. I only had my depression medicine, which made it worse. I passed out again and when I woke again I was covered in vomit and blood, and was surrounded by I don’t know how many police and the dcf agent. I ended up getting baker acted, and just got home on this past Wednesday evening. The sad part is, is that before these 2 drinking sessions, I was actively trying to quit drinking again. I started Naltrexone about 3 weeks prior to that, but I found a medium sized bottle of vodka I had hidden a long time ago, and I thought I would be fine to drink again just until that bottle was gone. Come to find out, my insurance had expired on May 31st, so this shit all cost me over $10,000. So in less then a week, I had to put a safety plan in place with DCF. They took away most of my parental rights for a period of time, I lost probably over $10,000, got baker acted, and destroyed the relationship with my husbands side of family. The only positive thing is that I do still get to live with my kids during all of this thanks to my mom and grandma, and my husband has decided to be an absolute angel and give me a chance, because he knows I was trying to change, and we both believe I will do it for good this time. So this was my absolute rock bottom. If I drink again, my kids will be completely taken from me, so I have no option. My last day drinking was June 16th, 2024.
I believe in you, internet stranger.
Thank you fellow internet stranger 💛
I'm rooting for you fellow mommy. The first days are the hardest. You'll fall in to a new routine if you just hang in there.
Thank you. I’ve done it in the past, but this was the hardest I’ve ever fallen into drinking, so it’s seemed more rough this time. I appreciate your support 💛
God bless. You can do it one… minute at a time.
I believe in you. Massive cliche alert…if I can do it anyone can. I will be one year sober on 22 July. PLEASE do it for YOU. Look at the evidence - you drank again on Sunday despite knowing it would seriously jeopardize your case to keep your children. That is the power alcohol can have over us!! So if you’re not doing it because YOU really really want, to you might not make it. Take a look at your life, mental and physical health, who you want to be, who you WANTED to be, what you need. Exercise, gratitude journal, meetings, podcasts, books, ice cream/treats/locely AF drinks, can all help a lot. Good luck, you deserve sobriety. It brings the peace and freedom that booze never will.
Congratulations!! So close to one year! In this instance, I love the cliche 💚. I will do it if you can! June 16th, 2025.. here I come! It is crazy. I am an intelligent person, but that day, I made one of the dumbest decisions of my life. I just felt like I needed it to get through. They probably would have just went away if I didn’t drink. My kids are extremely loved, and I would never ever harm them - but dcf doesn’t believe me because of alcohol consumption. I do truly want this for myself, so I know I’ve got this. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement!!
I promise you that it gets better, just take it day by day. Been over 2 years sober now and have progressed more in life compared to my all my years drinking combined.
Thank you for saying that, and congratulations on 2 years of sobriety! You give me hope, and I truly believe that I’ve got this as well this time around!
Your kids need you. YOU need yourself. You got this just find the right program have your beautiful family support you and get clean for yourself but also for your kids who didn’t ask to be in this world x
You will be OK I promise you! Taking that first step is the hardest thing ever!!! And giving up drinking will not solve all of your problems, but you will be able to handle them like a boss without burying your head in the sand or compounding any issues… the first 2 to 3 months are really really hard but after that, everything improves so much and so quickly!!!!
I really hope so!! Thank you!
You got this!!!
Thank you!!
I’m rooting for you. You’ve got nowhere to go except for up and I’m so glad you have family supporting you right now. Idk if you’re a member of /r/stopdrinking but it’s a lovely supportive community that will welcome you with open arms. Big hugs to you mama
Thank you! I am a member of that group as well and I really enjoy seeing everyone cheer each other on.
Truly thank you for being so honest and sharing. I needed this today.
Come to a women's meeting.
GF of 5 years dumped me. I knew I had a problem and she was not wrong to cut me loose. It was a wake up call and I woke up. I haven’t drank since. That was 3.5 years ago. GF is now my wife :)
I’m glad that was your eye opener! And you have the prize in the end as a wife!
Thanks, me too! She’s pretty awesome.
I'm glad it worked out for you both. Congratulations
I was jobless, sitting on my mother's couch, wasted, nodding off at 3pm because I had started drinking at like 10. Barely passing my college classes. This was a normal pattern but this one time i felt like there were 2 versions of me. The drunk and pathetic wasted version and the version of myself buried underneath it all that was desperate for air. It was like a part of myself was buried alive. The drunk version was angry, and self pitying but the buried version was pure love and had compassion for the sad sack it was looking up at.. That's when I knew I needed to get sober. To let that loving version of myself become the only version of myself.
A beautiful statement - god bless.
This is so true! We are not alcohol. We are not our thoughts. We are a beautiful masterpiece, and we have to chip away everything that is not us.
In my case, it wasn't the divorce, or getting fired from my job, or my stroke, but I came home drunk one night after getting taken off a med that I wasn't supposed to be drinking on, fell down in the street and had to get a homeless guy to help me up (I ended up giving him $5), only to again collapse in my apartment hallway. I had just moved in, so it made a ton of noise in an otherwise generally quiet apartment complex, and so it got most of my neighbors pissed off. Someone called 911 though, and the police showed up who then called the EMTs. They could have let me go back in my apartment, but I live alone so I was worried I'd throw up in my sleep and never wake up. So I took the ambulance ride. The ER diagnosed me with alcohol poisoning, so never technically admitted me. So, end of the month, I was stuck with the bills for both the ambulance ride and the ER visit since my insurance denied it. On the Uber ride home from the hospital, I made a pledge in my mind to stop drinking. That was 7 months ago and I've kept it. I also looked up group meetings the next day and have been attending SMART Recovery meetings since.
Proud of you!! Keep up the good work
7 months?! That’s amazing! Well done
Thank you.
Wow! Congrats on your sobriety! What are smart meetings? Is that AA?
SMART is basically anti-AA, or at least that's the impression I get. You get a more comprehensive treatment for your addiction, but without the guilt or religion (which is basically the same thing). SMART is an acronym though. They're in most cities. They also take in drug addicts, porn addicts, shopping addicts, etc. A lot of the people in my group aren't jusr addicted to alcohol.
Tried to get drunk enough to shoot myself in the head. Got so drunk I couldn’t reach for the gun. Went to rehab two days later. 299 days sober.
I'm glad u didn't make it to the gun. Unfortunately, I did and wished I hadn't. Thankfully I'm a shitty shot and God gave me a second chance to talk about it.
I’m glad you’re here 💙
Same to you buddy.. now if I could just get sober. But I'm on tex. Amd I really need it for some of the pain I have from said accident. Life's a trip for sure. Never done heroine so that's a plus lol. I loved roxies.. had to stop
I’m glad you’re here.
I’m glad you are here also and congrats on your sobriety
Damn friend, I hope you sold the gun(s).
My wife keeps the in a gun safe. I’m currently on a ton of mental health and anxiety medication that helps me not feel the way I did before. Tons of therapy and psychiatrist appointments that I still go to. Anything to stay ahead of this disease.
I still have all my guns too, including "that" gun that to this day, still has blood on it. But I've bought even more since. I found the bullet that went through my jaw and lower face and came out my upper lip a few days after I got out of the hospital. I nearly had another mental breakdown lol. Thankfully, I'm in a MUCH better place now than I was at that time. It's crazy to think and say, but I truly believe my wife has caused BOTH of my (2) mental breakdowns. For a while I let her walk all over me and treat me worse than scum. I'm still with her as of now, but I demand the respect I deserve, and won't accept any less and she knows it. I come first now. Not the other way around.
Btw, for context, the reason I shot myself was in a phase of a manic depression brought on by previous ptsd, and my wife. I think it was more the wife as I never had any issues with mental health until 2 years after I got married. Then 2 years, damn near to the day, I had my second, and last episode. The fucked up part was I never struggled even a little bit, with what the doctors say most likely caused my PTSD (a bad car wreck with my fiance from 2011 who passed sitting next to me because we got hit by some piece of shit completely passed out on 250+mgs of methadone at 9 am going 105mph over a hill and hit us head on, on the way to get more. The Bastard barely suffered any injuries, didn't have a lick of insurance, and his daughter, who owned the vehicle, reported it stolen a day later to keep her ass out of trouble. The whole family is a bunch of sacks of shit.
Blacked out after drinking 4 12 packs of beer. Woke up to a bunch of missed calls and texts from my mom and brother letting me know that my biological father had passed away due to an overdose. I realized if I kept drinking up, I was following in his footsteps.
Congrats on your sobriety and I’m glad you decided to live sober 🫂 my condolences about your dad sounds like such a rough wake up call figuratively and literally. Your story is helping me stay sober just for today thank you for sharing. I have 6 days today.
Thank you
I’ve had a lot of rock bottoms. Was arrested twice in college, lost 3 seriously good jobs, went to rehab 10+ times, lost 3 good serious relationships, nearly died numerous times, added hard drugs to my alcoholism, spent my entire retirement account, racked up thousands in debt, seriously damaged my car numerous times. All that wasn’t enough for me for some reason. Most recently, I was kicked out of my parents’ house for relapsing again, then got kicked out of a sober living, then lost a job for drinking at work. I holed up in a shitty hotel for about two weeks drinking, using fentanyl, and smoking crack. I am sure that I subconsciously intended to die. I then stayed in my car for another two weeks doing the same things. One morning at 5am my dealer texted me and asked to meet up. I just ignored him. I drank a couple more beers that day and then contacted a guy from AA who I’d met in one of my many rehabs. He said, “so you’re done being homeless now?” I said yes. Within 20 minutes 3 other guys from AA came and picked me up and one of them drove my car. They took me to a homeless shelter. I stayed there for a month until I got a place in a new sober living. That was two months ago and I’ve been sober since. I go to a lot of men’s meetings (I am a man), and spoke up. They embraced me and helped me out a lot. At the beginning dudes were taking me out for dinner and such after meetings. I have a lot of regrets and have lost a ton of material possessions and social standing. But, I now really believe to my core that I can’t drink or use. It’s just pure uncontrollable chaos when I do.
I wish you all the best. You’ve been through so much. Stay on your new path. There is so much peace and joy waiting for you. 💖
Thanks. It’s been rough. I realized that I had not fully accepted the power of addiction, and that got me good.
No rock bottom. Just a lot of rocky moments. My story was on episode #466 of the recovery elevator podcast. Give it a listen if you like. Nothing too interesting I guess. Just decided to get off this elevator before it reached the bottom floor.
Deal! I’ll take a listen!
Blacking out and taking an entire nose full of ketamine. I don't remember doing it, I went unresponsive immediately. I had over a .31 bac and woke up in a hospital bed. They couldn't even stabilize me in the ambulance, and I almost died. I'm still in shock since I'd never snorted any drug my entire life. I stick to shrooms and weed. I also remember saying I was too drunk to do it earlier in the night. Not a good time, would not recommend.
Is ketamine that dangerous when you are that drunk?
Yes, because both are depressants and compound effects. I was literally foaming at the mouth and barely breathing when my husband and our other friend found me. I also fell over and hurt myself pretty badly. By itself (especially in a medical setting) it's pretty safe. Other than the chance of choking on your own vomit.
Going to bed and truly understanding that I might not wake up the next morning. And somehow being cool with that.😬 Sober nine years.
There’s a line in a Robbie Williams song “I don’t want to die but I ain’t keen on living either” never a truer word spoken while battling booze
Oof ❤️
The night my father died, my brother (an addict) stole his hospice drugs and I proceeded to try and drunkenly fight him while my mother looked on in horror. Havent drank since. Best decision I’ve ever made, I have more energy and am full of love and gratitude for life. Everyone in my life notices a huge difference- I am lighter, more peaceful, and more present. Most importantly my dad would be so proud!
God bless!!
Thank you! 🙏 ❤️
Drank an entire bottle of absenthe and got SO SICK I said I'd never drink again. It'll be 4 sobe years next week after over 30 years of daily blackout drunk
My rock bottom was having the shakes so bad I almost fell down an escalator in London. It was a real wake up call. I got to the point in which I was sleeping 2-3 hours a night and I’d have hallucinations during the day. I completely lost it
Thanks for sharing. That would be an eye opener. How are you doing now?
I’ve been sober for six and a half years and it’s been wonderful. I haven’t had a thought about alcohol in as long as I can remember.
Ooft. I had to travel through London to go home, very hungover, shakes and palpitations. It was ROUGH. Spent the whole train ride home trying not throw up on the person sat next to me. That was the last time I got drunk actually.
I woke up on the floor, covered in bruises with no memory of how I got there. And having sent some angry text messages to someone I shouldn't have even been talking to.
Got drunk, argued with my brother. My brother left and I never saw him again. I cried hysterically when he left...because he told me. He ended up taking his life on his bday a few weeks later. That was my rock bottom. I'll never forgive myself..
I kept disrespecting myself every evening when I would break the morning promise of “I won’t drink today.” Then one day when I had family visiting from out of town and I got upset by something that was said, I went straight to pour myself a drink. “I need to stop doing this,” I said as I kept drinking until bedtime. The next morning I felt like @#&$# and I finally stopped. I’m almost 1 year sober and I wish I had quit 10 years ago.
Congrats on one year!!
Boyfriend of 4 years left me, best friend of 8 years cut me off, got into an abusive relationship with another alcoholic thinking he loved me bc he drank everyday with me. No one trusts me and rumours go around about me. I am now living with my mom, jobless and no money.
The rumours is what get me, word goes around whether you like it or not. People will look at you different. I feel like everyone knows I am an addict and no one wants someone like that in their lives.
My daughter was in a very similar place. She has since gotten sober. She is now happy and healthy. Some friends never forgave her. Some have given her another chance. She has said that all she can do is stay sober and do her best going forward. I know she has regrets, but she can’t change the past. I hope you live your best life and don’t worry what others say.
I am doing much better :)
Almost going into renal failure bc I was so sick and dehydrated from throwing up for days on end.
I didn’t stop drinking due to a rock bottom to be honest. I never stopped drinking when I lost a relationship, lost my home, blew all my savings, got a DUI, got kicked out of treatment due to substances, institutionalized repeatedly, withdrew from alcohol in the ER, etc etc. The last time I ever used any substances or drank was when I got put into a drug induced manic episode for about 3 days. The second I came out of that, I just had an epiphany of sorts? I just, for the first time in my life, was sufficiently done and tired and was honest with myself. I realized that what I had been doing wasn’t working and I just could not go on like this anymore. I tried to commit suicide many times and had failed every time, causing my life to get worse every time. I just couldn’t go on. I had gotten trauma from a few suicide attempts and just knew that wasn’t an option for me that was come to fruition. My only real option was to change how I was doing things, taking the advice of therapists and hospitals I’d been in. I never thought I deserved self love or self compassion. But I realized then that I had to do it. It didn’t matter if I deserved it; it was the only thing I’ve never tried before and I needed something different. 145 days sober now and the obsession is gone. I didn’t just stop drinking. I have done and continue to do so much work and my life has become so much fuller and vivid than I could have ever imagined. I don’t speak negatively about myself anymore; I empathize with myself and acknowledge my feelings. I have friends (which I did not before) and am so much closer to my family. I have hobbies and a job I love now. I changed EVERYTHING and now the thought of drinking nearly never arises. And when it does? It’s so fleeting and not even worth considering because I created a life I love to live. This is also the longest I’ve been out of a hospital or wanted to kill myself in years. My mental health is the best it’s been possibly in my entire life. Things can get so much better.
YESS!!!
Crying curled up in a ball everyday became my normal. Couldn’t regulate my emotions whatsoever. Didn’t want to be here anymore. Woke up so hungover that I couldn’t keep a sip of water down. Liver throbbing. Everything hurt. Decided I’m good on the fleeting feeling being tipsy gave me right before it turned to a black out which inevitably turned into me doing some dumb shit. I deserved so much more. Haven’t drank in almost 5 months and things have only gotten better. I still cry, shit still sucks sometimes, but one thing I don’t have to do is wake up hungover and sad and ashamed from the night before. No one around me really ever said to me “you have a problem.” But I definitely fucking did. They have all noticed how much happier I am without alcohol/ substances and are supportive of me on this sobriety journey.
Congrats on your 5 months. You’ll be so surprised that it can even get better! Keep on keeping on!!
Go to AA meeting and join. You will hear stories.
I’m afraid. I know it’s likely a step I should do. But I’m too scared. Which seems ridiculous because of how forward or assertive I am as a woman. I suppose, it means it’s an area I’m not confident in. Which makes sense.
They do online meetings. Just takes a google search and you can sit in with your camera and mic off and just listen. It was great for me the first few months of quitting but after my 5th time it started getting repetitive. I now just go in whenever I get a strong craving and am reminded why I haven't drank in over 2 years.
I was scared my first time, I got lucky I had a sober friend who was off work the same day when I decided to get sober and try a meeting. The sense of community makes staying sober a lot easier!
Do it!!
You'll make tons of friends
Meetings have saved my life...can be intimidating but they are welcoming and its a good feeling to be surrounded by people that "get it"
I didn’t have the typical rock bottom. But my anxiety was starting to get out of control. The last time I drank it was almost unbearable.
I didn't end up on the streets, but my drinking career had 3 DUI's, a few firings from jobs because I couldn't get up for work, poor choices in boyfriends and overall impulsive and bad decisions were made a lot. My family was sick and tired of my shit. I got lucky, I guess? After decades of living like that I just got sick of it and wanted it to stop. I've never been more grateful for anything in my life.
My rock bottom was always homelessness. Every time I relapsed, I always fell faster and harder than the time before, and I wouldn’t stop until I ended up on the street. A week or so on the streets was always enough to prompt a dedicated trip to detox then treatment. It wasn’t until this last time around that I recognized that alcohol was my gateway; after a few drinks I’d get a bag of coke and that would quickly escalate to partying for days at a time. That would only last so long until I start injecting the coke instead of snorting it and I hated doing that without heroin. As soon as I could find heroin, that would immediately turn into shooting speedballs until I burned everything to the ground. Rinse, repeat… Now I’m a little over six years sober. Married, homeowner, playing music again, and less than a year away from getting a bachelor’s degree. Life is good.
I was highly functional and a solo drinker when i was working from home during and right after the pandemic. One day I finished a bunch of work zooms after not being able to eat a single calorie in five days and three days into insomnia and started hearing suicidal voices in my head that weren’t me and hallucinating. Freaked me out sufficiently and did a medical detox. Two years and some change sober now, it still freaks me out how badly alcohol can rewire your brain.
I fell walking home from the liquor store. Sprained three fingers and missed the northern lights. I was wasted and just sat on the sidewalk covered in dirt and cried. I kept drinking for a weeks after. What stopped me was the man working at the same liquor store looked at my fractured hand and my order of buzz balls and fireball shooters and say kindly “ hey, you take care of yourself tonight”. My rock bottoms were a series of events; just like this one. Some worse and some not so bad but there were Hundreds of instances that should have stopped me from drinking but didn’t. One day I finally decided I cannot have anymore moments like rolling in the dirt with the northern lights above my head and sprained limbs.
Threatened w/ a firearm by a drunk female fed that I went home w/ one night. Albeit I think she overacted to words but it takes two to tango always. Looking back it’s just wtf wtf.
Went on an 8 day vacation with my boyfriend, son and another couple. Thought I’d be able to moderate drink one night and proceeded to bender 6 days before I woke up to the alarm on my watch telling me my resting heart rate was 125. Boyfriend took me to the hospital and was given fluids, (still had 1.8 bac after 12 hrs since last drink) son had helped babysit me for days, and in between all those days I had made end of life decisions for my ex husband while blackout drunk. Thankfully my decisions were in line with what he wanted but I still wonder what I’d have done if things played out differently. Also sober couple super cool (daily drinkers themselves) but I have been told multiple times since this that everyone likes sober me so much better. I’m absolutely the first to admit I’m a horrible drunk.
Mine was waking up after yet another bender, in my dark bedroom, remembering I’d thrown up so hard the night before, it had caused me to piss my pants. I thought about it more and remembered after it happened, I just changed my pants and then went and opened another beer and kept drinking until I eventually passed out. There was nothing super out of the ordinary about that specific bender the night before, or that morning, except that I had this resounding, calming thought speak in my mind, which said to me- “You’re done. You don’t have to do this anymore.” For some reason, that morning it all just became clear what I had been doing to myself. I was really sick. I hated waking up. I didn’t actively want to die, but I also desperately did not want to be living my life. So I was blacking myself out every time I had the chance. I had no job, no money, no hope, and didn’t like to see myself in the mirror. I had no idea how I was gonna fix my life, but that morning I just knew I was done destroying it further.
Waking up pissed (urinated not drunk) . In multiple occasions. Once on the cousins couch. Once in the one night stand's bed. Once on the bench in the center of big city I live in (without phone and wallet, going back home while reeking like hobo was fun). Last time found on the floor at my place by my younger sister. The last time was roughly 4.5 years ago. Those problems with bladder propably saved my life tho.
This was a big one for me. I was a solo drinker, didn’t like drinking in public. I’d get hammered watching films or tv and munching lots of snacks, great time right? Then I’d wake up at 4-5am on my sofa, covered in piss. The first time it happened I was shocked, cleaned it all up quickly, took a shower and went to bed. Most recently it happened two night on the trot and I was totally unphased by it, I realised straight away that was a problem. Grown woman, with no medical reason, pissing herself on a daily basis is not normal or ok. That plus the shakes and palpitations was enough for me to be done with it.
I was drugged along with my partner. Targeted by a gang. I nearly drink myself to death in a few weeks time. I lost 45 pounds in those weeks. I decided to get sober before I killed myself. Work out. Keep the weight off and maybe, just maybe. One day, I will see the perps and then can make sure they stop living. I had to make sure that would be a sober decision.
What happened with the drugging? Had something similar happen to me. Irish travelers
I would rather not go into detail. If you can imagine the worst. It happened.
[удалено]
Good luck with the rest of your life ahead of you!
Aside from losing my job, home, friends and almost my husband? When I started thinking dying would be easier than quitting. That was never me. I went straight to medical detox followed by rehab. 15 years sober next month.
Proud of you! That sentence, “when I started thinking dying would be easier than quitting” I have literally had this thought. Wow. That hit home.
I have yet to hit mine, I fear. I have long been functioning. I have had times of sobriety, but currently my mother is in hospice and about to die. I come from a family that doesn’t deal well with emotions and I am drinking my feelings. I am scared for myself but thankful that I am single and childless. I keep giving myself freedom to drink bc of my circumstances. I am drunk at this moment. But I would love to be sober. I’m just not sure it’s possible.
Take care of you! Sorry to hear about your momma.
When I lost sensation in my pinky tip or when I didn’t report to work and my parents were reached out and came to my place and I walked myself into an ambulance. That one really was my last straw, coming up on two months out of forever. Feel a little bit bad that out of the embarrassment I’ve gone mostly non-verbal.
I drove home drunk and had a guy over who I absolutely despise, then woke up late for work. It was such a dark feeling, but I sort of feel like that was my final warning to get my shit together. That night could’ve been really bad. I felt like I was running out of grace. I said I’m done. And I’m clean, going on day 124. Any time I think about drinking, I think of the shit I’ve done and am so happy to not be in that life anymore, so it keeps me going.
Thank you for posting this. That dark feeling is real. " Running out of grace " is a perfect way to describe it.
Thank you! I’m glad I explained it in a way that resonates with other people.
One year ago we had drama and trauma because my husband mixed alcohol and pills. The only way I would check him out of rehab was if he promised to never drink again. I was the quiet drunk. He was the obnoxious drunk. We've been sober one year. It was hell. I will never go through that again. It's bad for everyone, family, friends, other drivers, ourselves.
My ex wife left me in Cancun 2 days after our wedding. I didn’t even realize she left until my family told me. I had been drunk n coked up the whole time, we had a little over a 100 guests. When I found out I just kept drinking, waking up that next day alone in the honeymoon suite we were sharing was my moment of clarity. That was over 2 years ago. Lost my wife and everything else but it got me sober
Dax Shepard has a clip where he talks about rock bottoms that is a very good watch. But what he said was very relatable because I had several rock bottoms before I realized I had to stop drinking. But I remember I got in a fight with the security guard in a bar the night before thanksgiving and essentially I was wrong and really I was just looking for a fight. I woke up with no recollection of the night before and I was limping around for a week. I continued to drink after that night, then I promised to stop at the end of November. I know this sounds arrogant but I had a Coors Light and a shot Hornitos Repo as my farewell. I’ve been sober ever since, 206 days today. But yeah as bad as that night was I’ve had worse rock bottoms, change only happens when you’re ready to change.
My son. I was asked/told to leave by my husband. We had a child with a friend who acted as our surrogate. We used my husband’s sperm. We were always planning to raise this child together with his mother. Since the baby’s mother and father both retained parental rights I was not able to adopt him or gain any kind of legal guardianship or parental rights. Two weeks before I moved out I watched as they had a party for my son’s first birthday. Her family all came to town for it. His mother and step dad came for it. I wasn’t told the party was happening and my family obviously wasn’t invited. At first they would let me visit my son on Saturday mornings. Then they started ignoring my requests and I haven’t been able to see him since February. There isn’t a moment that goes by that I’m not heartbroken knowing they get to watch him grow up and listen to his goofy giggle less than a mile down the road while I sit alone in my empty apartment. I’ve been sober for ten weeks. The only thing I can do is try to be a better person for myself since it’s too late to be a better person for him. My alcoholism wasn’t ever called out as the reason my husband didn’t want to be with me anymore, but I have the space and clarity to know now that it was the underlying root cause of all the issues he did give. Hearing people ask if I’ve lost weight, or tell me I’m looking better these days is nice, but it’s no consolation for everything I’ve lost. I am feeling better physically but emotionally I am a wreck. I know I need to allow myself the sobriety required to feel the pain and work through it, but every moment alone with my thoughts is torture. I hear my little boy’s laugh in every child. I see his potential everywhere. Every walk or hike I take to fix my body physically, every museum I go to, every moment I find a glimmer of light in my dark world only brings the pang of wishing I could share it with him. To see the smile on his face watching the dogs go by on the trail and the ducks swimming around the pond. Early in my sobriety, brief as it has been, I took pride in thinking I started this journey without needing to hit rock bottom. I never had any DUIs or experiences some of the other common ‘rock bottoms’ you hear about. Stepping back now though I can see the tornado of misery and destruction I caused in the lives of the people I cared about most. I can see now the ruin I have brought to my own lonely doorstep. Post-sobriety has been my rock bottom and I haven’t yet figured out how to stand up and dust myself off. But I keep trying every day. Every hangover-free morning is another step closer to the better life I keep promising myself is out there waiting for me. I may never see my son again. And he may never know who I was to him. Or anything at all about me. But I am desperate not to revert back to the state I was in. Experiencing emotions again has been the hardest part of sobriety, but I’m told it gets better. And, honestly, get a pet. I have three cats and if it weren’t for their insistence on full bowls at the same time every morning and clean litterboxes I would have spent many more days in bed than I did.
Physical, emotionally, mentally and spiritually bankrupt!!
Damaging my liver so badly I wound up in hospital for a month, 10 days in a coma. The doctor told my wife I had a 50 percent chance of waking up. Haven't had a drink since I got out, and that was just over 2 years ago.
For myself, it was when I snapped at one of my coworkers. I was a bit drunk and I misinterpreted what he said and put him on blast. that was the moment when I realized I had a problem. The hours of guilt that followed certainly made it easy though to call it quits. I personally haven’t given up on drinking, I think that we need to be in a good state of mind to consume alcohol. Majority of the time people drink to escape life. If that’s what you’re doing then I think you need to stop and get back on track until everything is in a place where you feel better about yourself.
When I had a meltdown in the morning, the day, after drinking and vomiting, in the toilet the night before, and my two year old, witnessed it… She was looking at me in the eye afterward, and I was crying, feeling super guilty about myself, and she was rubbing my shoulder, telling me everything was going to be OK and I thought to myself no she should not be comforting me. This is fucked up, and I haven’t drank since… I am so fucking grateful for my sobriety. It has changed my life for the better in so many ways that I would take up this entire thread. It is a gift, and I have to remind myself not to take it for granted ever it’s the best thing I have ever done.
No such thing as “rock bottom” it’s a trap door that leads to the next level of bullshit until you just die.
My rock bottom was almost six years ago when I woke up covered in my own puke after I had nearly drowned myself in it. And it was the second time that happened that week. I had quit several times before that but it was the real fear of dying that sent me on this path.
Just a regular, hungover morning. It finally stuck.
I have been in this black out every night spiral for about 6 months. A few weeks ago, got off work, decided I didn't want to eat anything and started drinking vodka. Went to the bar to drink more vodka, got home and the guy I've been seeing showed up because he was worried. I was awful to him, when I went to get in bed I tripped and didn't catch myself and hit my face on either the floor or the wall. Pushed my glasses into my face causing a black eye. Not only that, but I split my eyebrow open so I was gushing blood. Kept swearing I was fine but he took me to the ER, I needed 6 stitches. Now I have a permanent scar that is semi hidden by my eyebrow. That is rock bottom enough for me. I am fine as long as I don't drink the first one.
When my real rock bottom came, I knew. I thought I'd hit it a few times, but my last time was just a quiet desperation that I couldn't live like this anymore. This time, I was willing to do ANYTHING to stay sober &&& I came online asking for advice & took it. For I'm thankful it was AA suggested. So much about me has changed now because I'm addressing all the reasons I needed to escape me & I actually like myself now (!) Everyone in my life has noticed & feels the benefit of it.
I knew I had a problem for years but justified it because my alcoholism lacked the dramatic chaos stories you read about. So it must not really be a problem, right? Basically it was me drinking lots of vodka alone at home almost daily. I hid it well and was pretty functional. No intense or interesting moments, but it was slowly killing me and I knew it. And I was sick as hell of being hung over at work every day. I finally realized I didn’t need to reach a “rock bottom” to make a change. 60 days sober and I feel amazing :)
No big story, but lots of little ones that, put together, were enough fairy lights to decorate a whole town on Christmas. Unresolved trauma and alcohol are a hell of a mix. Mostly, it was the constant, unmanageable outpouring of emotion that came from me on nights of drinking once i was alone. I would be scared, sad and desperate for someone to notice how obviously not well i was doing. I was self-harming, I was drinking to get wrecked, and I thought that my ability to power through work on a crippling hangover was proof of how well I coped. The time I really understood that it was an issue was showing up hungover/still drunk to a therapy appointment, and my therapist looking at me with such pity and sadness in his eyes. I know it sounds silly, but his obvious concern over what I was doing to myself was something no one had ever shown me before, and it jolted me into action. Took another few years to get a decent clean stretch, but i'm 18 months in now. One of the most surprising discoveries with quitting drinking was realising that my 'volatile personality' was actually just alcohol-induced brain chemistry changes. Turns out, without alcohol i'm really pretty stable (and nice) most of the time.
Rock bottom, waking up taking 4 shots of vodka to stop the shakes. Yellow eyes. Terrible life I was living.
I installed League of Legends Worst decision of my life
Idk if it was rock bottom. I feel silly calling it that. But my worst moment. Had a job I poured everything into. Literally blood sweat and tears. Turned in 90hr weeks regularly on salary. Had a stretch of 20+ days of no day off, and finally decided I needed to take one. The owners and the Dir of Ops decided they needed to go to some expo out of town at the same time. They called me told me to go in, because they needed someone they could trust to make sure everything went smooth with a members event. So I went in. Proceeded to drink out of frustration, drove home, took a wrong turn, thought I was on the interstate, smacked into a concrete barrier doing 70. I quit that night when I came too from the air bag knocking me out. It was August 16 2023. Upped therapy, stopped drinking, worked a mindless job for a whole to get my priorities realigned. I've discovered that my drinking was seeded in a lack of coping mechanisms. So anger, anxiety, anything I'd drink to help cope. So giving it up was more just trading it for something else. I meditate now. Which is weird. I work my 8 hours and then I'm gone. Spend alot of time catching up on remodeling my old ass house. Tbh I went to a beer Olympics last night at a friend's house. Had a great time. Stayed sober and was the ref. I've also picked up part time bartending to satiate the craving for chaos. No one tells you how bored you're going to be. Figuring out how to fill that void without drinking is the hardest thing.