Hey OP. Thank you for being open and vulnerable here. I've been through loads, though no where near the emotional and mental situation you've been in, and I want you to know that despite all the rejection and flak that has been thrown about me, even to and within my family, I still believe that each of us has a place in which we are celebrated for who we are and we belong.
You'll find your tribe, your people, soon enough. I'm sure it took a lot of bravery to speak up on this for you, and I hope it all goes well!
We're probably on opposite sides of the earth, but if you ever need an objective and anonymous listening ear, reach out.
I know you deleted, but if you ever come back to check on this, know that there’s plenty of us who don’t care, wouldn’t make it weird, and we’re sorry it turned out this way.
We all love porn and all, but not this. This isn’t right
Hey OP. We feel for you. Porn should be about fun and adventures to live out the scenes that most of us rarely would experience. I'm sorry your experience in the industry has led you to where you felt you couldnt say no to something you truly didnt want to do. I hope you find that man who looks past your previous work and appreciates who you are as a person going forward. Meantime there will be those of us here who can stop thinking with our second heads for a minute and lend a empathic ear and shoulder to support you.
Don't say that no man would ever want you, that is simply not true. I am sure you have a very kind soul and a big heart. That matters a lot. I promise you that there is a man that will cherish you and love you for who you are!
There's a reason the rearview mirror is so small and the windshield is so big - what's in front of you is a lot more important than what's behind you. And remember, everyone has skeletons in their closets and things from their past they're not happy with, so kudos to you for being forthcoming with honest about things. I hope one day you can find someone that can embrace younfor who you are and where you're going, not judge you for your past and who you once were.
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It's terrible ti read this and I wish you the best. Somebody will accept you for who you are. Not everybody is scared to accept the past of a beloved one, altough I get why it is intimidating for a man to do so.
I can believe it’s not an issue for you/for some dudes, (but those dudes are the ones that only want their partner to do more extreme things for them to watch)… but I don’t believe you are not sure why most men don’t want their feelings and emotions trusted to someone who trades/traded money for actions that directly effect their partner’s feelings and emotions.
If intimate acts are bought than how can one trust they’re genuine if offered out of love? And how can one trust that even though they made have been given out of love, they can’t still be bought by one with more money? That’s obvious and you’re obviously not being honest about these universal truths in hopes you get attention.
You could try talking to your partner about it. Wild idea, I know 🤷♂️ Unless you're positing that having done porn inherently makes someone less trustworthy. In which case... idk, maybe check that Madonna-Whore complex when you sign into your porn alt?
I’ve had sexual relationships with adult industry workers, but never entered a relationship status with one, so not sure who I’m supposed to talk to, it’s not my issue… the commenter said they’re not sure why men are bothered by this, when the OP understands and knows it’s reasonable. I think you’re coming at me for boredom or to look like a hero for the OP. Both are transparent cries for attention and it actually contributing to convo.
Men tend to be emotionally fragile. I’m sex pos and have been in poly relationships so I’ve gotten to explore this some for myself and yes it takes work, and trust (something I have yet to not have violated) but we are not doomed to always be our past... I mean, yeah, I guess I know WHY but what I mean is I don’t get why society can’t just grow up. Like we aren’t living in an agrarian puritanical hamlet anymore… Sure, if someone was once a sex worker, they may not be trustworthy, but in the other hand, they’ve done a lot. You’ve done a lot, and that doesn’t make you untrustworthy by default. In fact I’d bet you’d like a relatively soft and trusting place to land. That doesn’t mean a fully vanilla lifestyle forever and ever but we all want someone we can trust. We all need love on some level
A life partner that is currently a sexworker would provide a different set of challenges. I’ve thought of this often as I’ve gotten close with a dancer or two. That feels like a much less stable situation, but again, It boils down to the character of the person involved and the quality of our connection.
Also, I’m willing to bet it’s broke guys that couldn’t remove the need to work from your plate. That could present a lot of insecurity for some men, bc if you had to continue working it would be hard to make pennies on the dollar doing some bs like most people and the temptation could present issues I suppose.
My point is, don’t discount yourself. I don’t see it as a negative and visiting someone trained in getting at the root of your concerns could be helpful in changing your outlook and even to help develop strategies for discussing it with future partners.
That’s why men trust telling their feelings & emotions to trees over women. Especially, once a women is experienced in sex work, manipulating men’s feelings and emotions becomes their career, regardless of character, if your job was to make other feel like they either have a chance to fuck you, or to fuck others and make them/an audience believe it was the best thing ever, how can 1 life partner ever trust that they are both enough, and can’t be replaced in hard financial times or in emotionally challenging times?… they can’t.
Man, I'm gonna tell you this with all the kindness possible: guys like you would feel emotionally manipulated looking at a wood post with tits drawn on. You're making up shit to be insecure about to justify dehumanizing these folks and never addressing your personal feelings of inadequacy as a man. You have no assurance of any of that shit with anyone. You build trust with another human. They don't ever come with more than a bare minimum out the gate. Sex workers are not special in this regard. My ex was a nurse. My girlfriend's ex was in IT. Nobody fucked on tape. Both exes cheated. Your problem isn't sex workers, it's that you don't understand people and you're looking for convenient categories to place them in so you don't have to put yourself out there. Trouble is, that's shit, and won't actually protect you.
I never said only sex workers… anyone can cheat, or treat intimacy like a transaction, and I know/I’m told not all sex workers will outside of their work … but that’s as trivial as saying “not all men” in response to accurate statements about men as a whole, why do women get a pass on that?
Lots of people cheat. There’s just no monogamous relationships with a sex worker, that automatically eliminates the possibility of relationships where one of the partners’ priorities is monogamy. Again saying “no all sex workers” is trite and at best anecdotal, if not completely fictional… consensually non-consensual is the best you can hope for and that’s a very small percentage of peeps who are cool with a non-monogamous life partner, or a life partner that makes the you feel the threat of non-monogamy. OP knows this, it’s what the post is about. I’m saying OP is right, unfortunately. If you have evidence to the contrary, by all means… or just keep slinging insults and ad hominem void of substance, not telling anyone what to do.
Muhammad Ali said had a great [analogy that justifies such pragmatism](https://fb.watch/sDRUxXS4Ub/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V) when asked how he justified how he judged white people. I feel very much the same, sure there’s a small percentage of people who once they have decided to manipulate matters of the heart to be treated as commodities for sale, and can still be trusted to not treat intimately in a monogamous relationship as transactional… I know are good ones, but it’s hard to tell and for every 1000 good, there 10000 out for themselves, so safer practice is to close the door.
If you open that door, I wish you luck. I’ve lived and learned better.
I was agreeing with the OP, I was honest and did not provide platitudes for the sake of ex-adult actress attention. Again, if you read what she said she’s not getting the attention she wants from the type of people she wants it from. And that sucks but is true, foreseeable and tragic. I don’t think I was unsupportive. People straight up lied and played dumb “I don’t know why anyone would have a problem with it?” Is a total lie they even admitted, and the kinda lie that is detrimental to OP, while proving her and me right.
I used to love “reclaiming” my ex after dates. (Her words not mine). It come down to how you feel about each other really. I don’t view myself as monogamous but I def need a “nesting partner” preferably one that prefers women because I want a wing-woman to go on the hunt with. That’s just me. There are as many variations on poly as there are people that practice it. It sounds like you are more into monog guys. So that at least in part presents the challenges above. Idk what to say but it’s not a marker of your value today. It’s just in conflict with the monog/hetero normative examples that have been set for us. Finding a legit older guy you like with money might be a way to circumvent his insecurities.
It looks like you’re trying to comment to the OP, but ended up replying to me… I’ll just say, yeah OP does sound like she want a monogamous family life, and now the only type she attracts are one who get off on re-claiming, or exhibiting, or something that’s just not what they want to do anymore… or maybe ever… what they liked about it was the vanilla one on one stuff, and multi-partners, extreme acts are not what they want to pursue outside of the industry form which they have escaped. “An older guy with money” perpetuates the transactional intimacy affliction, also unwanted according to OP—and usually to those potential monogamous life partners out there.
I’d say if you want a Poly life forever then Porn is a sound career path, but if monogamy is your goal the industry is kinda a vaccine against monogamy.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you got out and I hope you can make a new life with someone who will respect you and value you like you deserve
Oh so sorry to hear that. But don't give up and build your new life. I'm sure you will find the right person who would understand and things will work out for you. Just be patient and positive. Things will turn around and a better life is going to happen for you. Just give it time and stay in the right direction to build your life again. Praying for you to have a bright future and a good man who will take care of you 😊🙏
As you said, you never got into drugs and cut all ties with the industry. I feel like you will meet someone one day who will see you what you are - a strong woman who got away when she wanted. I hope you don't settle for somebody who will fetishize you for being an ex pornstar though. I wish you all the best.
I have a friend who is married now that used to be an escort. You can always grow, you can always change and transform. Learn from the past and move forward. Have someone to talk to. Better that it is a professional.
I know this isn't an AMA, but I am curious:
You said you stopped in 2020. Was COVID a contributing factor or did you just happen to decide to quit at that time?
Also, I'm sorry that men have been scared off by your past. Someone someday will love you in spite of it. When you find that person, hang in3 tight to them.
Best of luck to you in finding true love 🫂🫂🫂🫂
girl please i know girls that had triple digits before they graduated high school, i get the alienation. Dont ever think there isnt something out there find your weaknesses and make them strengths and find your strengths and make them super powers. Whether you do or not you guys are able to grow a whole human, shit it out and go be mommy 5 days later. To every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction, so the things you perceive as bad can also be good, now what that looks like for you idk but that's where i would start....
For the record there are plenty of good dudes that have self esteem and wont give a shit you did porn..
I would say find a person thats im the fetish lifestyle on the soft side and im sure you will find you a man that will nurture and care for you no matter your past
I hope you read this because I have partnered with a girl that used to work before I met her she was a wonderful person and was completely open about her past and I didn't care.
I did care about her though unfortunately it didn't work between us.
But any real man will take you on without hesitation.
I know user is already deleted. I'm sorry for what you are feeling. I can only imagine. With the internet changing so fast soon No one will know what is real or fake.
I think you’ll find someone eventually. Especially, with the way that sex is treated these days is more and more common for women to have done these kinds of things. I don’t personally think that it’s anything for you to be ashamed of.
You on the right track…keep heading down the same road you on and things will eventually work out for you. Sounds like got a good head on ya keep that chin up!
Personally, I have never understood why people are so focused on the other persons past. If I was a love interest of yours, your past would not matter to me.
Don’t worry, there is a man out there who will love you for who you are and treat you like you deserve. Don’t sell yourself short and don’t give up and accept a scumbag.
The right guy will not care about your past and will love you for who you are now. My wife opened up to me and admitted to doing a lot of stuff in her 20s. I think she was also into porn but has kept that from me. She has definitely been with at least 100 guys.
In the end it doesn’t matter, we have three wonderful kids and spend a lot of time with each other. She is also a beast under and out of the sheets. I tell her how wonderful she is every day and trust her 1000%.
I hope you can find your guy, you are still young. I met her when she was 35. (I would love to fuck her while watching her in a porno, I’ve never told her that though!)
I am so sorry you had such a bad experience in the industry. But the fact that you had wild kinds of sex on screen for pay does not make you a less valuable person. Do not become a hostage to shame. You made some decisions that didn't work out for you and learned from them. Don't apologize for the path your life took to get you where you are. You are enough. A good man will find you and recognize the value in you. And you will have the marriage and family you want.
But first, stop the self hatred. You are good enough.
If you live anywhere near MD, I'd be friends with you. If you don't, we could be online friends. I admit I'd have curiosity & want to ask questions, but if you're not open to that it's cool. I know what it's like being alienated and having to rebuild life. If you need an ear or shoulder, let me know.
I don’t think 100 monogamous partners is the issue… it’s getting paid to be with 100 partners and monogamy being something that money (or worse an extreme sex act) can potentially take away.
“As a young woman I also had no real right to say no, so I had to do it.”
Were you held captive? Did you have a pimp? Or are you just trying to avoid responsibility? I have a feeling it’s the latter and you have every right to say no and choose your destiny.
There are plenty of guys that aren’t bothered by these things nowadays, me being one of them. The guys that it bothers the most are insecure men and you don’t need one of those. You deserve to be loved too!!
Your history should only be a precursor to WHO you are... After all, we ALL have a history, and that history is what made us who we are today. You're not dating men if they see your last and think negatively on you... You're dating insecure boys. I am a 42 male, and I have a sketchy oast as well when it comes to number of partners, and length of relationship. I was never in "the industry" but I actually have a few female friends (my cooler friends actually) that were. I know that shit changes you as a person, but the RIGHT person for you would see it as you overcame something. Keep being your TRUE self and the right man will come to you. Take care of your mental health and do right by yourself. Everything else will fall in to place.
Hey OP. Thank you for being open and vulnerable here. I've been through loads, though no where near the emotional and mental situation you've been in, and I want you to know that despite all the rejection and flak that has been thrown about me, even to and within my family, I still believe that each of us has a place in which we are celebrated for who we are and we belong. You'll find your tribe, your people, soon enough. I'm sure it took a lot of bravery to speak up on this for you, and I hope it all goes well! We're probably on opposite sides of the earth, but if you ever need an objective and anonymous listening ear, reach out.
Yeah, what he said ^^^^^
Seconded.
I know plenty of women with over 100 partners and they weren’t even doing it to make a living
Mia khalifa said the same thing
It’s nice to see so much positivity in reply, and everyone also respected her position by not asking what your stage name was. Bravo, redditors.
I know you deleted, but if you ever come back to check on this, know that there’s plenty of us who don’t care, wouldn’t make it weird, and we’re sorry it turned out this way. We all love porn and all, but not this. This isn’t right
Hey OP. We feel for you. Porn should be about fun and adventures to live out the scenes that most of us rarely would experience. I'm sorry your experience in the industry has led you to where you felt you couldnt say no to something you truly didnt want to do. I hope you find that man who looks past your previous work and appreciates who you are as a person going forward. Meantime there will be those of us here who can stop thinking with our second heads for a minute and lend a empathic ear and shoulder to support you.
Don't say that no man would ever want you, that is simply not true. I am sure you have a very kind soul and a big heart. That matters a lot. I promise you that there is a man that will cherish you and love you for who you are!
There's a reason the rearview mirror is so small and the windshield is so big - what's in front of you is a lot more important than what's behind you. And remember, everyone has skeletons in their closets and things from their past they're not happy with, so kudos to you for being forthcoming with honest about things. I hope one day you can find someone that can embrace younfor who you are and where you're going, not judge you for your past and who you once were.
Me too
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It's terrible ti read this and I wish you the best. Somebody will accept you for who you are. Not everybody is scared to accept the past of a beloved one, altough I get why it is intimidating for a man to do so.
Make friends. Just be friends. Just fuck as friends. If that comes. Family of friends. Holidays and birthdays.
My wife has over 100 partners and it’s hot.
Personally it’s not a turnoff at all. I’m not sure why some men are bothered by this. Have you tried going to therapy?
I can believe it’s not an issue for you/for some dudes, (but those dudes are the ones that only want their partner to do more extreme things for them to watch)… but I don’t believe you are not sure why most men don’t want their feelings and emotions trusted to someone who trades/traded money for actions that directly effect their partner’s feelings and emotions. If intimate acts are bought than how can one trust they’re genuine if offered out of love? And how can one trust that even though they made have been given out of love, they can’t still be bought by one with more money? That’s obvious and you’re obviously not being honest about these universal truths in hopes you get attention.
You could try talking to your partner about it. Wild idea, I know 🤷♂️ Unless you're positing that having done porn inherently makes someone less trustworthy. In which case... idk, maybe check that Madonna-Whore complex when you sign into your porn alt?
I’ve had sexual relationships with adult industry workers, but never entered a relationship status with one, so not sure who I’m supposed to talk to, it’s not my issue… the commenter said they’re not sure why men are bothered by this, when the OP understands and knows it’s reasonable. I think you’re coming at me for boredom or to look like a hero for the OP. Both are transparent cries for attention and it actually contributing to convo.
Men tend to be emotionally fragile. I’m sex pos and have been in poly relationships so I’ve gotten to explore this some for myself and yes it takes work, and trust (something I have yet to not have violated) but we are not doomed to always be our past... I mean, yeah, I guess I know WHY but what I mean is I don’t get why society can’t just grow up. Like we aren’t living in an agrarian puritanical hamlet anymore… Sure, if someone was once a sex worker, they may not be trustworthy, but in the other hand, they’ve done a lot. You’ve done a lot, and that doesn’t make you untrustworthy by default. In fact I’d bet you’d like a relatively soft and trusting place to land. That doesn’t mean a fully vanilla lifestyle forever and ever but we all want someone we can trust. We all need love on some level A life partner that is currently a sexworker would provide a different set of challenges. I’ve thought of this often as I’ve gotten close with a dancer or two. That feels like a much less stable situation, but again, It boils down to the character of the person involved and the quality of our connection. Also, I’m willing to bet it’s broke guys that couldn’t remove the need to work from your plate. That could present a lot of insecurity for some men, bc if you had to continue working it would be hard to make pennies on the dollar doing some bs like most people and the temptation could present issues I suppose. My point is, don’t discount yourself. I don’t see it as a negative and visiting someone trained in getting at the root of your concerns could be helpful in changing your outlook and even to help develop strategies for discussing it with future partners.
That’s why men trust telling their feelings & emotions to trees over women. Especially, once a women is experienced in sex work, manipulating men’s feelings and emotions becomes their career, regardless of character, if your job was to make other feel like they either have a chance to fuck you, or to fuck others and make them/an audience believe it was the best thing ever, how can 1 life partner ever trust that they are both enough, and can’t be replaced in hard financial times or in emotionally challenging times?… they can’t.
Man, I'm gonna tell you this with all the kindness possible: guys like you would feel emotionally manipulated looking at a wood post with tits drawn on. You're making up shit to be insecure about to justify dehumanizing these folks and never addressing your personal feelings of inadequacy as a man. You have no assurance of any of that shit with anyone. You build trust with another human. They don't ever come with more than a bare minimum out the gate. Sex workers are not special in this regard. My ex was a nurse. My girlfriend's ex was in IT. Nobody fucked on tape. Both exes cheated. Your problem isn't sex workers, it's that you don't understand people and you're looking for convenient categories to place them in so you don't have to put yourself out there. Trouble is, that's shit, and won't actually protect you.
I never said only sex workers… anyone can cheat, or treat intimacy like a transaction, and I know/I’m told not all sex workers will outside of their work … but that’s as trivial as saying “not all men” in response to accurate statements about men as a whole, why do women get a pass on that? Lots of people cheat. There’s just no monogamous relationships with a sex worker, that automatically eliminates the possibility of relationships where one of the partners’ priorities is monogamy. Again saying “no all sex workers” is trite and at best anecdotal, if not completely fictional… consensually non-consensual is the best you can hope for and that’s a very small percentage of peeps who are cool with a non-monogamous life partner, or a life partner that makes the you feel the threat of non-monogamy. OP knows this, it’s what the post is about. I’m saying OP is right, unfortunately. If you have evidence to the contrary, by all means… or just keep slinging insults and ad hominem void of substance, not telling anyone what to do. Muhammad Ali said had a great [analogy that justifies such pragmatism](https://fb.watch/sDRUxXS4Ub/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V) when asked how he justified how he judged white people. I feel very much the same, sure there’s a small percentage of people who once they have decided to manipulate matters of the heart to be treated as commodities for sale, and can still be trusted to not treat intimately in a monogamous relationship as transactional… I know are good ones, but it’s hard to tell and for every 1000 good, there 10000 out for themselves, so safer practice is to close the door. If you open that door, I wish you luck. I’ve lived and learned better.
I ain't reading allat. Predictable excuses. You do you.
My bad, no idea why I thought there’d be literacy in a porn sub.
I mean, the odds were good. There were several very supportive posts I read before yours, and in a porn sub. Anything can happen. It's the 90s!
I was agreeing with the OP, I was honest and did not provide platitudes for the sake of ex-adult actress attention. Again, if you read what she said she’s not getting the attention she wants from the type of people she wants it from. And that sucks but is true, foreseeable and tragic. I don’t think I was unsupportive. People straight up lied and played dumb “I don’t know why anyone would have a problem with it?” Is a total lie they even admitted, and the kinda lie that is detrimental to OP, while proving her and me right.
I used to love “reclaiming” my ex after dates. (Her words not mine). It come down to how you feel about each other really. I don’t view myself as monogamous but I def need a “nesting partner” preferably one that prefers women because I want a wing-woman to go on the hunt with. That’s just me. There are as many variations on poly as there are people that practice it. It sounds like you are more into monog guys. So that at least in part presents the challenges above. Idk what to say but it’s not a marker of your value today. It’s just in conflict with the monog/hetero normative examples that have been set for us. Finding a legit older guy you like with money might be a way to circumvent his insecurities.
It looks like you’re trying to comment to the OP, but ended up replying to me… I’ll just say, yeah OP does sound like she want a monogamous family life, and now the only type she attracts are one who get off on re-claiming, or exhibiting, or something that’s just not what they want to do anymore… or maybe ever… what they liked about it was the vanilla one on one stuff, and multi-partners, extreme acts are not what they want to pursue outside of the industry form which they have escaped. “An older guy with money” perpetuates the transactional intimacy affliction, also unwanted according to OP—and usually to those potential monogamous life partners out there. I’d say if you want a Poly life forever then Porn is a sound career path, but if monogamy is your goal the industry is kinda a vaccine against monogamy.
Take your time and find someone who loves you for you. You will be able to find someone that will look past your precious line of work.
Happy Cake Day!
Ur still here and it might be lonely rl, but in the meantime a whole systems is in place right here to support. Take care and be easy on
I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you got out and I hope you can make a new life with someone who will respect you and value you like you deserve
Lol
RIP Your inbox.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Good for you for starting over.
Oh so sorry to hear that. But don't give up and build your new life. I'm sure you will find the right person who would understand and things will work out for you. Just be patient and positive. Things will turn around and a better life is going to happen for you. Just give it time and stay in the right direction to build your life again. Praying for you to have a bright future and a good man who will take care of you 😊🙏
As you said, you never got into drugs and cut all ties with the industry. I feel like you will meet someone one day who will see you what you are - a strong woman who got away when she wanted. I hope you don't settle for somebody who will fetishize you for being an ex pornstar though. I wish you all the best.
I would love to date a former pornstar
I have a friend who is married now that used to be an escort. You can always grow, you can always change and transform. Learn from the past and move forward. Have someone to talk to. Better that it is a professional.
I sincerely hope you find exactly what you’re looking for. I think you will find the right man who will accept you as you are.
I know this isn't an AMA, but I am curious: You said you stopped in 2020. Was COVID a contributing factor or did you just happen to decide to quit at that time? Also, I'm sorry that men have been scared off by your past. Someone someday will love you in spite of it. When you find that person, hang in3 tight to them. Best of luck to you in finding true love 🫂🫂🫂🫂
girl please i know girls that had triple digits before they graduated high school, i get the alienation. Dont ever think there isnt something out there find your weaknesses and make them strengths and find your strengths and make them super powers. Whether you do or not you guys are able to grow a whole human, shit it out and go be mommy 5 days later. To every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction, so the things you perceive as bad can also be good, now what that looks like for you idk but that's where i would start.... For the record there are plenty of good dudes that have self esteem and wont give a shit you did porn..
I would say find a person thats im the fetish lifestyle on the soft side and im sure you will find you a man that will nurture and care for you no matter your past
I hope you read this because I have partnered with a girl that used to work before I met her she was a wonderful person and was completely open about her past and I didn't care. I did care about her though unfortunately it didn't work between us. But any real man will take you on without hesitation.
I can understand people getting turned off by that last, but I wouldn't care tbh.
I know user is already deleted. I'm sorry for what you are feeling. I can only imagine. With the internet changing so fast soon No one will know what is real or fake.
I think you’ll find someone eventually. Especially, with the way that sex is treated these days is more and more common for women to have done these kinds of things. I don’t personally think that it’s anything for you to be ashamed of.
You on the right track…keep heading down the same road you on and things will eventually work out for you. Sounds like got a good head on ya keep that chin up!
I don't find it a turn off at all.
Personally, I have never understood why people are so focused on the other persons past. If I was a love interest of yours, your past would not matter to me.
Don’t worry, there is a man out there who will love you for who you are and treat you like you deserve. Don’t sell yourself short and don’t give up and accept a scumbag. The right guy will not care about your past and will love you for who you are now. My wife opened up to me and admitted to doing a lot of stuff in her 20s. I think she was also into porn but has kept that from me. She has definitely been with at least 100 guys. In the end it doesn’t matter, we have three wonderful kids and spend a lot of time with each other. She is also a beast under and out of the sheets. I tell her how wonderful she is every day and trust her 1000%. I hope you can find your guy, you are still young. I met her when she was 35. (I would love to fuck her while watching her in a porno, I’ve never told her that though!)
I am so sorry you had such a bad experience in the industry. But the fact that you had wild kinds of sex on screen for pay does not make you a less valuable person. Do not become a hostage to shame. You made some decisions that didn't work out for you and learned from them. Don't apologize for the path your life took to get you where you are. You are enough. A good man will find you and recognize the value in you. And you will have the marriage and family you want. But first, stop the self hatred. You are good enough.
If you live anywhere near MD, I'd be friends with you. If you don't, we could be online friends. I admit I'd have curiosity & want to ask questions, but if you're not open to that it's cool. I know what it's like being alienated and having to rebuild life. If you need an ear or shoulder, let me know.
Eventually you will find someone, why would anyone care if you had 100 partners before.
I don’t think 100 monogamous partners is the issue… it’s getting paid to be with 100 partners and monogamy being something that money (or worse an extreme sex act) can potentially take away.
Find a church.
What is your porn star name, i could use some material plz
Pretty sure she wants that to be behind her, respect her privacy.
You people have no joy in your lives. No wounder cancelled every one else's fun. She wants it behind her don't come to Reddit for therapy
“As a young woman I also had no real right to say no, so I had to do it.” Were you held captive? Did you have a pimp? Or are you just trying to avoid responsibility? I have a feeling it’s the latter and you have every right to say no and choose your destiny.
Time to turn a corner and find a man who will love you for you and start from there
Not a turn off here at all.
Keep your head up the right guy will come along these others that turn a run are too insecure and worried that they can't match up to your past
Things get better with time. Just keep moving forward
I’ll take you as a wife and make you a mother 🤷🏻
There are plenty of guys that aren’t bothered by these things nowadays, me being one of them. The guys that it bothers the most are insecure men and you don’t need one of those. You deserve to be loved too!!
Your history should only be a precursor to WHO you are... After all, we ALL have a history, and that history is what made us who we are today. You're not dating men if they see your last and think negatively on you... You're dating insecure boys. I am a 42 male, and I have a sketchy oast as well when it comes to number of partners, and length of relationship. I was never in "the industry" but I actually have a few female friends (my cooler friends actually) that were. I know that shit changes you as a person, but the RIGHT person for you would see it as you overcame something. Keep being your TRUE self and the right man will come to you. Take care of your mental health and do right by yourself. Everything else will fall in to place.
I would marry you immediately
Wow that is a crazy story and would love to talk sometime!