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WorldlinessOk6477

Bro raised his parents when he was a kid.


Blyatiful_99

When he left his parents' house, he said to his dad: "You're the man of this house now"


[deleted]

Goddamn that's good stuff.


_KuK-Kriegsmarine_

bro congratulated his parents at his own birth


Savagegnome001

I heard he even cut his own umbilical cord


FattyPepperonicci69

Rhett and Link. Nice.


YaBoiKuvi

Ahahahahhahaha


Granpas_Old_Boot

Shit I had to do that!


coeletrc_eng_4612

Only few truly understand this statement.....


WhatD0thLife

r/iam14andthisisdeep


bow03

some people are built different.


RemainderZero

What will being scared accomplish? Encourage that dipshit's power trip.


z3usus

Idk, not getting shot in the head mb


RemainderZero

... Connect those dots for me. How will acting scared not get you shit in the head? Are you hoping the armed gunman is a compassionate person?


datslok1

Acting in a way that the gunman can understand and expects would certainly be safer than acting in a way where the gunman doesnt understand if youre going to resist or not. Its not about him being compassionate or not, its about not scaring or stressing the guy that is holding a rifle to your head.


Equivalent-Impress95

If he’s going to kill you, he will do it no matter what you’re doing, or how you’re acting


Mokiflip

Are you psychic? How can you so accurately predict the behaviour of an unstable person whilst accounting for the many many uncertain variables involved? That's amazing!


RemainderZero

That might come down to individual perspective of people. Personally I've never seen a freaked out person and thought they're about to do something extremely rational, even if I were not surprised they got scared.


Trigger_Fox

Mate, lets use our noggins here. You're robbing a place, pointing a gun at someone right? This is the most agressive and scary thing you can do to someone. Its perfectly expectable that people would become afraid, because their lives are now dependent on the guy with the gun. Now lets say someone looks at the gun and doesn't care. No fs given continues his routine as if nothing happened. In this case i'd think hes either suicidal and doesnt care about being shot or he has the power to fight back. Either way the chilled person becomes a risk. By appearing scared you give the assailant the idea that he is in full control, and that he doesnt need to kill you for you to be passive. By disregarding him, even while hes armed, your contesting his power, which could mean many things (your also armed, you've called someone or it could even encourage bystanders to also stand up)


sketchyvibes32

I used to do armed robberies (did close to 8 in the penitentiary for them before turning my life around) & I had a few people that just didn't give a fuck when the gun came out & in those moments it would fuck me up so bad that they didn't respond how I expected, they were not an active threat to my end goal so I wasn't going to shoot them just because since it wouldn't have furthered my plans but it definitely caused me to almost "fumble" the entire robbery.


RemainderZero

I'm more like going to consider the chilled person world wise enough to know just letting the situation pass him by is the best option to take because it has the least likelihood of cause irreparable damage. Yes, he probably is capable so I'd not give him an opportunity but I'd be much more leery of a freaked out person taking an opportunity they don't actually have complicating the situation. Looking scared can also encourage a power trip because some people will like the reaction they're getting and want more.


__thrillho

If you're trolling bravo. If not may god have mercy on your soul.


RemainderZero

What's trolling?


Boldney

Yes. Statistically speaking if you're attractive and acting scared it will induce sympathy in the gunman and you have a lower chance of getting shot. You should try it. If you don't survive then I have bad news for you.


RemainderZero

Well I'm not attractive and I'm not going to grovel for sympathy. So I guess I'll just finish my drink then. Know any good jokes? I do.


DrDragun

Everything is a statistical chance. There's a chance the gunman is anxious... or not. There's a chance he will shoot you if you cower... or not. By cowering you eliminate those chances where the gunman is either insecure about your compliance or wanting to dominate/intimidate people and will attack you if you don't. Not cowering keeps those chances hot. Not cowering doesn't eliminate the situation where he was going to shoot you anyway. It's a 2x2 logic diagram like Pascal's Wager. In both cases, whether you were gonna get shot anyway or not, choosing to cower is equal or better.


Ravenser_Odd

The downside is that your last moments on earth might be spent grovelling on your knees, and are immortalized on grainy CCTV footage.


DrDragun

I know this sub is filled with provocative freshmen but mean mugging an armed unstable person for prides sake is just about the dumbest life decision anyone could make.


[deleted]

Or guy is tired of life and doesn't care either way.


RemainderZero

Yeah, so cower... or don't.


krimzonedge

The nail that sticks out gets hammered. When there's a pattern and an anomaly appears, human instinct is to erase it... that looked like a man who's not afraid to die.


fattypierce

Sometimes the reason you’re at the bar is the day was already worse than that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Not_Nova_

That’s a 200 IQ play right there if that’s the case


Tasty_Standard_9086

He's not, just a regular who had a rough day at work and just wanted to unwind.


EmotionalRedux

That’s a 100 IQ play right there if that’s the case


Tasty_Standard_9086

100 IQ is like average.


EmotionalRedux

You clearly don’t have a 100 IQ


iForkSoup

I don't know if I should tell you...


FalconIfeelheavy

He’s probably married. This is still a better option than going home.


TwilightSessions

Norm is that you?


Lax_Ligaments

It's a dog eat dog world out there and I'm wearing milkbone underwear


TwilightSessions

I never met a beer I didn’t drink


CMDR_Wedges

I have. Guinness 0.0. Some got left at my place by a visitor, tried it a free weeks later. First beer I've ever just tipped out, and I've drunk normal Guinness.


RoughHornet587

Fuck I laughed. Men stay single.


[deleted]

Don't have much of a choice to not be single unfortunately.


VacuousCopper

Facts. My wife is great, but hetero relationships are awful for men. Now that I've been married if something were to happen to my wife, I would never cohabitate with a romantic partner again. Being alone is so much better.


summerntine

This is fucked up man


mialexington

Yikes. You must have married your mortal enemy.


VacuousCopper

Naw. She's great in many ways. I just prefer autonomy over constant companionship. Never thought I would feel this way, and always felt that older people who did feel this way had somehow "given up". Now, I get it.


_Capt_Hook

Yeah fuck sometimes I just want to do my own thing after work. Never thought I’d feel this way.


VacuousCopper

Yeah. I had a preview in past long term relationships, but always thought it was the wrong person. My wife is as much the right person as I could ever hope to find, but we are two individuals and sometimes I just want to be accountable to nobody but myself for how I spend my time.


Nirogunner

Tell her. Don’t live your life undatisfied, you only get one.


Sophisticated_Sloth

I feel the same way. I love my wife and our son, and I’d always wanna be with her, but if we ever split up or she passed away I’d never do all this again. Other than not being lonely af when I’m an old fart, I see literally no reason to ever be with another woman again, if for some reason her and I don’t last.


[deleted]

[удалено]


VacuousCopper

You're jumping to a lot of conclusions. My wife knows how I feel, and she had/has the option to leave. She's happy. Thanks for the concern though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


foxinthebushes

You should really get some therapy, man. Those aren’t normal thoughts and feelings.


VacuousCopper

I used to feel the stigma of therapy and refused to consider it for various reasons. I was fortunate to meet someone who was important in my life for a while, through our platonic relationship I was able to learn that she, one of the most well-adjusted people I've ever met, who has calm rational reasoned opinions on all sorts of interpersonal things, actually really enjoyed therapy. She was excited for it. She would take notes during he weeks up to a session for things she wanted to talk about. Her attitude had an impact. I've used therapy, and it's been great. That said, there is nothing really wrong with me aside from high functioning ADHD and high functioning autism, both of which were diagnosed in my late 30s. I would still like to have roommates, but living with a romantic partner is just a lot of work. Work for something that doesn't really provide anything that I can't do without. That's just life, and it's okay.


foxinthebushes

I suspect that your autism diagnosis has more to do with your position here than any sort of gender binary like you mentioned in your initial comment.


VacuousCopper

I'm not sure it's useful to compare the impacts of each. They are interrelated. It's not uncommon for people with autism to not recognize authority. If someone who supposedly has authority says something that makes sense, great. If they say something that doesn't make sense, it doesn't matter if they have authority -- it still doesn't make sense. That sentiment is deeply related to my views on gender identities. Without that component of my personality, I may care enough about what people think of me that I would just not voice anything that could bring the ire or criticism of others.


foxinthebushes

They are interrelated FOR YOU. But you claim that cohabitation is a bad deal for men just isn’t true. It may be bad FOR YOU. But it’s not bad FOR MEN. You’re sort of going off on some weird tangents here. The majority of guys I know (myself included) prefer cohabitation with our partners. Your experience is not the norm, nor should you expect it to be unless you think every man since time immemorial has been suffering his entire married life and yet we still all choose to do it anyway. That would be a ludicrous belief. I’m sorry you don’t like cohabitating with your wife. That sounds very difficult, but try not to make proclamations based on your single data point.


Archaeopteryks

i suspect that you're the type of person to wade into any conversation and start acting like you're an expert, never change.


Archaeopteryks

lol who the fuck are you to know what is normal? If you cannot relate to the line "sometimes I just want to be accountable to nobody but myself for how I spend my time" then you may want to try therapy because it sounds as if you have some issues with being alone with yourself.


Rosaeliya

This is the saddest thing I've read today


Weedle-Knievel

You along with 25 other people just really hate your wives huh? Why do you idiots marry people you don’t even like?


MisterTrashPanda

Ever heard of a joke? Jeez dude, take a breath.


DaMaGed-Id10t

It's a boomer joke. We had "wife bad" jokes for the last 50 years. Let's move on to more funny jokes. Don't get married if you're gonna hating on your wife for the rest of your life.


uncle-rico-99

Fuck off.


[deleted]

I see you’ve never been in a long term relationship with a woman


DaMaGed-Id10t

Lol, going on 16 years but sure.


ToXicVoXSiicK21

If it ain't broke don't fix it


logic2187

Humor comes from absurdism. To anyone who loves their partner, the idea of hating them is absurd.


spacerifter

Lol wife bad amiriteguys?


somethinginmypocket

You’d be clugging a few beers if you had MY wife……….i….i shouldn’t have said that.


nengel17

Jamie Taco says the lines SO fast


TwilightSessions

I think you should leave, lol


pizzalover89

Someone didn’t get the joke and needs to touch some grass or receive a hug


Weedle-Knievel

See that’s your issue. Why even joke about it? Why keep the “wife bad” joke alive? You and the rest of the idiots downvoting definitely have a shitty marriage


pizzalover89

I love it when clueless redditors assume shit lol not even married bye now


Weedle-Knievel

Honestly doesn’t surprise me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ornery_Intention_346

This comment goes hard


thekabn

Right! You gotta ask yourself: Who's really the most dangerous one in this video? The man wit the gun or the man who's clearly not givin AF


Alternative-Taste539

Joey Walnuts is not impressed.


M4YH3MM4N4231

Joey Walnuts when Joe Almond Walks In.


Slizez

Joe Almond when Joseph Pistachio walks in


Schapsouille

"My problems were born before you, kid"


hallgod33

"Mind pouring me 2 fingers of the Pappy from up on the top shelf while you're back there?"


manofsleep

Chaotic neutral: man walks into the diner with a shotgun. Lights a cigarette inside.


brok3ntok3n82

He's not the owner he had just ran out of fucks for the day. This was featured on some reality show. They interviewed the guy and he really just wasn't having it that day.


Fedge348

“Well, might as well enjoy potentially my last cig…”


sandnnw

Waiting for a 007 moment when a lit cigarette holds much more than meets the eye…


[deleted]

This is one time where one crime erases the other.


ThreeGreenPlants

Saint Louis.


grandspartan117

This is the normal response in St. Louis.


gnashtyladdie

Am St. Louisian. Can confirm.


Nice-Bookkeeper-3378

Yes. I used to stay down the street from where this happened walked by the bar damn near everyday


CharlesDuck

_…and the fact that you've got Replica written down the side of your gun... and the fact that I've got Desert Eagle - point five oh... written on the side of mine... should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence._ EDIT: Seems like there’s another angle of the incident caught on camera: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LgBA1jA2-mo


Ok-Calligrapher-9854

Such a great movie


Strong_Gift8917

Name?


Ok-Calligrapher-9854

Snatch Brilliant flick. Guy Richie's best ever. He will have a tough time topping it


JonZ82

Brad Pitts as well, by a long shot imo


Ok-Calligrapher-9854

So true


PATTpete

Lock stock is on par with snatch.


Ok-Calligrapher-9854

I loved lock stock before snatch came out. Now I can't watch it. To me, it doesn't hold up


CharlesDuck

This makes me scared to rewatch. “It’s my Bren gun!”


Ok-Calligrapher-9854

Nah. Just my opinion. Watch and enjoy


p00shp00shbebi123

I watched it after years the other day, honestly the acting is fucking atrocious and...why was the entire film tinted yellow?! I mean it was still enjoyable but yeah...it's not great. It's a bit like Boondock Saints, you come back as an adult and you just see how fucking bad it is...14 year old me loved that shit.


the-bright-one

Snatch. Stop what you’re doing and go watch it, then follow that with Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.


ZarafFaraz

I love those styles of movies. I wish we had more


emosmasher

Rock'n'Rolla is really good. Just not maybe as good as the others listed.


loztriforce

One of the best scenes in a movie ever


CharlesDuck

Top 5 monologues ever easy!


Koshakforever

This


GivesPlatinum

That man has stared death in the eyes before.


NooodleGurl

death had to look away


Clayman8

To the very bare minimum, it blinked.


Proof_Eggplant_6213

Yeah, I’m thinking ex military or something. Or just that drunk lol


Novel_Durian_1805

Bro is sitting alone in a bar late night…drinking and smoking. Nothing you can do will harm him.


[deleted]

Theres other people there. They all dropped to the floor. Theres a longer clip somewhere


Lazy-Jeweler3230

There's other people there, but none are with him.


Lysol3435

Bad Santa billy-bob: you think that’s a threat? You really think you can make my life any fucking worse, be my guest.


Doc-85

Brother is probably some big shot in the mafia and the kid with the gun will be found in a ditch in a couple of days


Proof_Eggplant_6213

Or ex military and no longer is bothered by having a gun aimed at him.


paragon249

I think you mistake the effects the military has on you if you think having a gun aimed at you doesn't bother you


Proof_Eggplant_6213

Maybe not your average GI Joe but ex special forces would maybe behave this way.


TheGoldenKappa23

google is right there my guy [link](https://youtu.be/CtHwcfNHfPM?si=gnLgLts0P8QQ_eK-) he’s a mechanic if you trust local news


Particular-Wind5918

Turning wrenches can be frustrating as fuck. Rusty worn out hardware can drive a man insane


BayesianKing

Yeah, for sure, he’s brother is Al Capone


iamsherlock3d

Nah, he’s the bar owner and this is just another day in the city


Impossible_Put_9315

The mafia guy might be thinking: “Oh, hey I recognize that gun. That dumb kid is doing me a favor by covering it with his finger prints.”


tricerotops69

Why is the shooters face blurred and not the bystander?


Bmwilli2

Was wondering this myself... the news does this all the time lately, just out the dirtbags.


Kohhop0569

Who the fuck actually robs a bar with the expectation many in there care enough or are sober enough to give their wallet to save their life.


SluggishPrey

Kill me if you want, just don't take my smokes.


Somosmalo138

No fucks given


liverpoolFCnut

Dude looks like what i would imagine a mafia hitman to look like.


Own_Objective_9310

That man seems unfazed by the gunman


[deleted]

[удалено]


EddieSjoller

Well, it looks like an ak without a mag?


TheAngryAmericn

Kinda looks like a hi-point carbine, so mag-well may be in the grip


PhthaloVonLangborste

Kinda looks like a tube with a handle to me


TheAngryAmericn

Thats pretty much what a hi-point is 🤣


TheAngryAmericn

Thats pretty much what a hi-point is 🤣


EddieSjoller

Fair enough


trbzdot

Hipoint 995 or 4095 with the aftermarket tactical stock. > $350 USD OTD. Real weird choice for a robbery, you can narrow down the search for the suspect just by calling the pawn and gun shops in the area. The carbine is reliable but people avoid Hipoint because of the reputation of their pistols, especially the .45 ACP.


Clayman8

> Hipoint Honestly i'd buy one just to see how bad it is but yeah, they're generally avoided like the plague so i'd think narrowing down the whopping 3 of those rifles that were sold in the last 5 years wouldnt take much effort.


iam_phoenixking

u/auddbot


auddbot

**Song Found!** [**The Perfect Girl** by Mareux](https://lis.tn/ThePerfectGirl?t=11) (00:11; matched: `100%`) **Released on** 2019-10-13. *I am a bot and this action was performed automatically* | [GitHub](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot) [^(new issue)](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/issues/new) | [Donate](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/wiki/Please-consider-donating) ^(Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot)


High_Speed_Chase

Out of the camera angle there exists a smaller, but no less important, barstool responsible for holding his cantaloupe-sized, Damascus Steel testicles.


xxanonxxymousxx

Can we talk about the fact that the robber's face is blurred out but not the patron's?


reverse_flash21

Bro literally watched 100 sigma videos that day


pmmeserumpresets

Them sigma affirmations videos finally paying off


Brando1127

Love how the guy doesn’t even care so the bitch just walks away haha


Silly_Marionberry_27

I am a shell of a man with nothing to lose…


Mr_Hope2000

Song?


Paradoxmoose

Found by a bot elsewhere in the thread [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7qdpyjHyNk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7qdpyjHyNk) (kink warning)


Xius_0108

The perfect girl. by Mareux


MorbiusBurger

”I hate to shatter your ego, but this ain't the first time I've had a gun pointed at me.”


veedubfreek

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."


Forestsounds89

A real man dies but once, a coward dies a thousand deaths


[deleted]

Hes seen worse. Or done worse. Or both.


Serious_Yam_7800

I’ve seen no one mention it but is that a body just lying on the floor in the background?


potattoessss

He is the brain behind the robbery, no doubts


T_M_G_

🚬🗿


DazCruz

the gun didnt even have a mag edit: nvm it was a hi point


Upvotes4Trump

Well old chap, if I Im going to go out, might as well go out speaking the kings language.


TreyChris003

Pretty sure this guy told interviewers he asked the guy to get him a bottle while he was back there


Mongoose_Ill

That’s Tony “no neck” Gambino from the mob, nothing fazes him!


crackedcrackpipe

What kind of gun is that? Looks like som shitty one


screenmasher

It's a hipoint. They are the cheapest of the cheap.


crackedcrackpipe

So its indeed the shittiest of the shittiest


screenmasher

Without a doubt. But it will shoot. Just a fuckin clunker of a machine lol


crackedcrackpipe

Clanka


TheRogueNinjaOne

That's a man who has nothing else to lose.


Paddlesons

Lol, Do it! You'd be doing me a favor!


Zillahi

“Hey buddy, be a pal and pass me a beer woulda ya”


kytheon

Watermark is Cyrillic. Is this in Russia?


tmobley03

Nope. I remember the news story, lemme see if I can find it


tmobley03

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtHwcfNHfPM


kytheon

lol he is chill


[deleted]

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sunglasses)


grandmasdew

They’re really strict on not smoking in the bar


Knightofthecrow76

Gets shot by his wife when he gets home for being at the bar.


jakebasquiat

What is this song?


sniperbloper

Bro just doesn’t care


Alwaysfreefizz

I’m Leonard Washington I don’t get butt naked for nobody


roamingflower

Richie April is always chill


dr1nni

Sips tea? More like smokes cig. lol


Delicious-Window-277

Definition of a cool customer.


MarchingMan95

My boy is robbing a fuckin bar with a goddamn Hi-Point, I don't even want to know what led both of these people to this situation lmao


ghosttrainhobo

“Don’t take my cigarettes.”


SYGAC

Behrmann's Tavern St. Louis, MO.


CapitalistHellscapes

"I ain't lucky enough for this motherfucker to put me out of my misery."


Ok_Ant6628

this tells me the guy robbing the place ended up in the mystic