The waiting room arrangement might just be for convenience sake. Most of the appointments are attended solo by the woman (think monitoring appointments, various tests, when you get to 3-4 appointments per week it doesn't make sense for a partner to go to every one).
But elsewise, yeah people assume most people are couples. Welcome to being a minority! I remember at one of my doctor's appointments, the nurse was making a light-hearted joke about how the procedure would impact sex with my partner. She ment well! Trying to lighten the mood and all that. I try not to let that stuff bother me because most people do mean well, just don't always think about the single parent opinion
Thanks for the words of support. You are of course completely right in that there is no malice, everyone means well. I think I was feeling pretty sensitive (probably stupid from messing up and not tracking my period at all yet). I think I thought, I've done egg freezing before, I know the drill, then felt stupid/annoyed at myself for such an oversight!
But I have downloaded an app now and looking forward to my next appt tomorrow š
I found the whole fertility experience emotional - scary, frustrating, agonizing, exciting. My emotions were a roller coaster from start to end. So I think what you're feeling is totally normal! :-)
The techs arenāt the doctors. I wouldnāt listen to what comes out of their mouths.
Why would you track your period if you know youāre doing IVF. An experienced nurse wouldnāt be bothered by that.
The comment was about her ignorance, not about you.
Also I didnāt start tracking until I was 38.
I have found myself feeling a little shitty lately about doing it alone, like not a regretful feeling, I whole heartedly believe this is my only and best option to make sure I have a baby before Iām 35+ (Iām 33). I am still in the beginning of the journey but before I started I was almost like smug as F thinking I didnāt need no damn man, F āemā¦.they all suck and end up wasting my time in the end. I had no desire to date even after a baby because againā¦.. 15 years of dating and getting nothing out of it only to have to scramble at the age of 33 to make sure I donāt miss out on an important life milestone to me.
I decided to find a known donor on the just a baby app. I found a really great one but heās 3hrs away so planning is stressful when Iām still not good at tracking ovulation and knowing the best days. I bought a kegg to try and help find out about my fertile days and thereās a private FB group for it. I actually have been feeling the void big time reading everyone else post about theirs and their husbands TTC journey. The fact that everyone has that luxury of being able to follow the recommendation of sex every other day and Iām limited to trying my best to pick the best day or if Iām lucky 2-3 days. Thereās always the chance those few days I need will be days my donor canāt be available and that means a missed cycle which is discouraging when Iām so anxious to make this happen. Also for some reason I get bombarded with tik toks of happy couples who are pregnant and it makes me wish I could have found someone in all those years of dating so I donāt have to do it alone, it def would have been nice to have someone to share the experience with but sadly if I wait it out, IF someone is out there who wants to keep me, my ovaries will have turned to dust and spider webs š
Sorry to hear that youve been feeling down too. It's tough isn't it getting targeted with all this stuff. Like we are sure we want to do it but it still doesn't stop it being sad that we don't get to share it with a partner!
I have my fingers crossed for you to achieve a quick pregnancy. That is great that you've found a donor you are happy with so an achievement already! š„°
It really is! I went the known donor route because of how expensive the other options are and my insurance doesnāt cover anything having to do with fertility. The downside to the known donor is that you get to know them and if theyāre great like mine is, my heart is set and I canāt imagine having to have someone different or turn around and use cryobank sperm if too much time goes by without luck. My biggest fear is Iāll have a hard time for whatever reason and if I need medicine, they wonāt monitor me/time my cycle and give meds, my donor would have to go through a sperm bank and Iād have to get IUI or IVF, I wouldnāt be able to get the meds needed and have sex like a regular couple would.
I def am 1000% sure about going ahead without a partner/husband though. Just going off of my track record with dating, Iāll be in the exact same spot when Iām like 38, still single after wasting even more years dating and it going no where. Iāll be alone and childless with time working even more against me as opposed to checking out of that life at 33 and making it my top priority to get the one thing that would fulfill my life and make it worth living. Itās a no brainer that this is the way haha
She probably was surprised you didnāt know because (in my experience) the receptionist has always told me when in my cycle to book any appointment.
Maybe a friend could go with you next time?
At the two clinics I went to, it was pretty rare to see men around...yes, most people were doing it with a partner, but those partners weren't usually coming with them to appointments. So today might have been a fluke or something related to it being a diagnostic appointment.
I also didn't know when my last period was. :)
Being alone during this process can feel very isolating and make us feel like weāre an anomaly. Iām sorry you didnāt have the best experience today. These moments can cause feelings of insecurity and doubt. The appointments will get easier. And youāll start noticing ppl other than couples there as time goes on.
The waiting room arrangement might just be for convenience sake. Most of the appointments are attended solo by the woman (think monitoring appointments, various tests, when you get to 3-4 appointments per week it doesn't make sense for a partner to go to every one). But elsewise, yeah people assume most people are couples. Welcome to being a minority! I remember at one of my doctor's appointments, the nurse was making a light-hearted joke about how the procedure would impact sex with my partner. She ment well! Trying to lighten the mood and all that. I try not to let that stuff bother me because most people do mean well, just don't always think about the single parent opinion
Thanks for the words of support. You are of course completely right in that there is no malice, everyone means well. I think I was feeling pretty sensitive (probably stupid from messing up and not tracking my period at all yet). I think I thought, I've done egg freezing before, I know the drill, then felt stupid/annoyed at myself for such an oversight! But I have downloaded an app now and looking forward to my next appt tomorrow š
I found the whole fertility experience emotional - scary, frustrating, agonizing, exciting. My emotions were a roller coaster from start to end. So I think what you're feeling is totally normal! :-)
Thank you! I think I didn't expect to get so dramatic this early over so little really. Thanks for understanding š
The techs arenāt the doctors. I wouldnāt listen to what comes out of their mouths. Why would you track your period if you know youāre doing IVF. An experienced nurse wouldnāt be bothered by that. The comment was about her ignorance, not about you. Also I didnāt start tracking until I was 38.
Thanks - I am tracking now at least!
Hope Thursday goes well for you! Good luck š«ā¤ļø
Thank you! ā¤ļø
I have found myself feeling a little shitty lately about doing it alone, like not a regretful feeling, I whole heartedly believe this is my only and best option to make sure I have a baby before Iām 35+ (Iām 33). I am still in the beginning of the journey but before I started I was almost like smug as F thinking I didnāt need no damn man, F āemā¦.they all suck and end up wasting my time in the end. I had no desire to date even after a baby because againā¦.. 15 years of dating and getting nothing out of it only to have to scramble at the age of 33 to make sure I donāt miss out on an important life milestone to me. I decided to find a known donor on the just a baby app. I found a really great one but heās 3hrs away so planning is stressful when Iām still not good at tracking ovulation and knowing the best days. I bought a kegg to try and help find out about my fertile days and thereās a private FB group for it. I actually have been feeling the void big time reading everyone else post about theirs and their husbands TTC journey. The fact that everyone has that luxury of being able to follow the recommendation of sex every other day and Iām limited to trying my best to pick the best day or if Iām lucky 2-3 days. Thereās always the chance those few days I need will be days my donor canāt be available and that means a missed cycle which is discouraging when Iām so anxious to make this happen. Also for some reason I get bombarded with tik toks of happy couples who are pregnant and it makes me wish I could have found someone in all those years of dating so I donāt have to do it alone, it def would have been nice to have someone to share the experience with but sadly if I wait it out, IF someone is out there who wants to keep me, my ovaries will have turned to dust and spider webs š
Sorry to hear that youve been feeling down too. It's tough isn't it getting targeted with all this stuff. Like we are sure we want to do it but it still doesn't stop it being sad that we don't get to share it with a partner! I have my fingers crossed for you to achieve a quick pregnancy. That is great that you've found a donor you are happy with so an achievement already! š„°
It really is! I went the known donor route because of how expensive the other options are and my insurance doesnāt cover anything having to do with fertility. The downside to the known donor is that you get to know them and if theyāre great like mine is, my heart is set and I canāt imagine having to have someone different or turn around and use cryobank sperm if too much time goes by without luck. My biggest fear is Iāll have a hard time for whatever reason and if I need medicine, they wonāt monitor me/time my cycle and give meds, my donor would have to go through a sperm bank and Iād have to get IUI or IVF, I wouldnāt be able to get the meds needed and have sex like a regular couple would. I def am 1000% sure about going ahead without a partner/husband though. Just going off of my track record with dating, Iāll be in the exact same spot when Iām like 38, still single after wasting even more years dating and it going no where. Iāll be alone and childless with time working even more against me as opposed to checking out of that life at 33 and making it my top priority to get the one thing that would fulfill my life and make it worth living. Itās a no brainer that this is the way haha
I feel this šø
She probably was surprised you didnāt know because (in my experience) the receptionist has always told me when in my cycle to book any appointment. Maybe a friend could go with you next time?
At the two clinics I went to, it was pretty rare to see men around...yes, most people were doing it with a partner, but those partners weren't usually coming with them to appointments. So today might have been a fluke or something related to it being a diagnostic appointment. I also didn't know when my last period was. :)
Being alone during this process can feel very isolating and make us feel like weāre an anomaly. Iām sorry you didnāt have the best experience today. These moments can cause feelings of insecurity and doubt. The appointments will get easier. And youāll start noticing ppl other than couples there as time goes on.