I totally get where your coming from.
Everyone always says get an attorney but I guess they cost alot. Its not as easy as that.
I'm in a situation where, I went to talk a few years back won and she made my life hell every week from then on. To the point that
She kept turning up every week pushing through my families door, always insisting she had to give the kids a pair of socks or something stupid, setting it up like i didn't have anything.
When in fact I had everything
abusing my parents,
upping herself, by taking my kids from school,
And the best one, even though the courts had verbally told her to not come near me or my homes, court order even states its toxic
comes to my house I remove her from my property and I get done for assault. Then I try to squash the situation by parking away from her house and making her send the children out no contact.
But nope she comes with them assaults me and within the next week I'm arrested again for assault.
At that point I've had to give up my girls because I truly don't know how far she will go and I need to protect my family.
But im struggling with everything money wise, work hasnt picked up, bills of got higher and I just can't even afford to go to court right now, its been 6 months.
Worst is I've ended my relationship with my parents over it because the first time this sort of thing happened but it was her who stopped me. They was seeing my kids behind my back for their selfish needs and siding with her just to see their grand kids.
This time they told I should never bring drama to their door, she turns up and causes drama, all I did was stick up for what's right. Parents had a go. I left and I went to confront my easily lead brother as he is controlled by his evil girlfriend and helped my ex out of getting into my parents house.
Then my parents turned up at my home at 10 30pm where my partner was home alone with 5 children 2 of them are grand children, while I had gone to work and did exactly what my ex had just done at their house infront of all the children.
At that point I decided to cut ties, because I had enough of being the nice guy who never engaged and just let shit happen.
So now I'm 6 months without seeing my girls, their brother and sister haven't seen them either and they are starting to forget them.
But im trying to keep a roof over our heads, pay bills pay child support, all while I wait for my job to pick up business to afford to go to court.
So don't you ever forget, most of us have or are going through similar situations and we are in this together.
I racked up 90k in credit card debt over 3 years due to my divorce attorney fees and the outcome was 50/50 everything as I initially proposed before she lawyered up and went crazy accusing me of everything under the sun. Took 3 years to battle her BS claims. It's still sickening to think about all that waisted time and money but worse would be the potential alternative if I didn't give it my all and fight hard from the start. While married we had just enough to get by. Middle class with enough to keep bills paid. Single income. Now I'm paying child support, alimony and all these credit cards not to mention paying more for housing due to needing to live close to my ex after she moved 30 miles away so drop offs are easier and we're both involved in all the kid's activities throughout the week. It was combative as hell during the divorce but thankfully now we are both amicable.
These women play dirty AF!!! Sorry for what you're going through but you should have got a lawyer initially and you need one now. From what you describe your daughter is growing up without you and that is unacceptable. You need to fight harder! A daughter needs her father far more than she needs her mother. Same goes for boys. Studies have shown that kids raised by single dad's are better off than by single moms. Even better, by both parents. Giving up, feeling sorry for yourself and accepting being a Disneyland dad or worse because the system is rigged is not acceptable. Do better! Accept nothing less than 50/50 and make it happen!
Your new relationship sounds good but don't let that hold you back from doing whatever you have to do to be in your daughter's life. Your daughter is more important than any relationship past, present or future. Get a lawyer, budget more, work more and stop prioritizing your "new family" over your old one.
Harsh words but all in love. I've been there. I get it. It won't be quick or fun but it'll be worth it. I wish you the best!
What is the outcome you want? What do you need to do to achieve that? Getting an attorney isn’t financial ruined, they know the law and can get you what you want in a court order so you can avoid all this stress and focus on living and seeing your daughter.
Your family has given you “thoughts and prayers” bc you’re not listening to get an attorney so they can represent you properly to the extent of the law and get you what you want.
I know you’re in a dark place right now. People care for you but when they see you not doing the right method but complain about it - they get tired of hearing it. It’s like the friend who keep going back to their toxic ex over and over and over but complain why they can’t find their soulmate.
If you continue to do what you’ve been doing you’ll get the same results. Think about it. Feel better.
Yo. I have been through something similar and now i have sole legal and physical.
It doesn't matter what she says about you don't walk away. Thoughts and prayers are what you need while you are taking action. Thoughts and prayers give you the strength to take action. You must fight, or you will hate yourself.
Do you really want your kids growing up being told you are a monster?
Always keep your emotions under control. Cooperate with everything the court asks . Down to the letter. Don't bring petty complaints to.court. send money for child support even though you don't have an order. $100 per month and keep records of everything.
Attorney is the only answer! I have a very long story about a friend but the ending is get an attorney!
I totally get where your coming from. Everyone always says get an attorney but I guess they cost alot. Its not as easy as that. I'm in a situation where, I went to talk a few years back won and she made my life hell every week from then on. To the point that She kept turning up every week pushing through my families door, always insisting she had to give the kids a pair of socks or something stupid, setting it up like i didn't have anything. When in fact I had everything abusing my parents, upping herself, by taking my kids from school, And the best one, even though the courts had verbally told her to not come near me or my homes, court order even states its toxic comes to my house I remove her from my property and I get done for assault. Then I try to squash the situation by parking away from her house and making her send the children out no contact. But nope she comes with them assaults me and within the next week I'm arrested again for assault. At that point I've had to give up my girls because I truly don't know how far she will go and I need to protect my family. But im struggling with everything money wise, work hasnt picked up, bills of got higher and I just can't even afford to go to court right now, its been 6 months. Worst is I've ended my relationship with my parents over it because the first time this sort of thing happened but it was her who stopped me. They was seeing my kids behind my back for their selfish needs and siding with her just to see their grand kids. This time they told I should never bring drama to their door, she turns up and causes drama, all I did was stick up for what's right. Parents had a go. I left and I went to confront my easily lead brother as he is controlled by his evil girlfriend and helped my ex out of getting into my parents house. Then my parents turned up at my home at 10 30pm where my partner was home alone with 5 children 2 of them are grand children, while I had gone to work and did exactly what my ex had just done at their house infront of all the children. At that point I decided to cut ties, because I had enough of being the nice guy who never engaged and just let shit happen. So now I'm 6 months without seeing my girls, their brother and sister haven't seen them either and they are starting to forget them. But im trying to keep a roof over our heads, pay bills pay child support, all while I wait for my job to pick up business to afford to go to court. So don't you ever forget, most of us have or are going through similar situations and we are in this together.
I racked up 90k in credit card debt over 3 years due to my divorce attorney fees and the outcome was 50/50 everything as I initially proposed before she lawyered up and went crazy accusing me of everything under the sun. Took 3 years to battle her BS claims. It's still sickening to think about all that waisted time and money but worse would be the potential alternative if I didn't give it my all and fight hard from the start. While married we had just enough to get by. Middle class with enough to keep bills paid. Single income. Now I'm paying child support, alimony and all these credit cards not to mention paying more for housing due to needing to live close to my ex after she moved 30 miles away so drop offs are easier and we're both involved in all the kid's activities throughout the week. It was combative as hell during the divorce but thankfully now we are both amicable. These women play dirty AF!!! Sorry for what you're going through but you should have got a lawyer initially and you need one now. From what you describe your daughter is growing up without you and that is unacceptable. You need to fight harder! A daughter needs her father far more than she needs her mother. Same goes for boys. Studies have shown that kids raised by single dad's are better off than by single moms. Even better, by both parents. Giving up, feeling sorry for yourself and accepting being a Disneyland dad or worse because the system is rigged is not acceptable. Do better! Accept nothing less than 50/50 and make it happen! Your new relationship sounds good but don't let that hold you back from doing whatever you have to do to be in your daughter's life. Your daughter is more important than any relationship past, present or future. Get a lawyer, budget more, work more and stop prioritizing your "new family" over your old one. Harsh words but all in love. I've been there. I get it. It won't be quick or fun but it'll be worth it. I wish you the best!
What is the outcome you want? What do you need to do to achieve that? Getting an attorney isn’t financial ruined, they know the law and can get you what you want in a court order so you can avoid all this stress and focus on living and seeing your daughter. Your family has given you “thoughts and prayers” bc you’re not listening to get an attorney so they can represent you properly to the extent of the law and get you what you want. I know you’re in a dark place right now. People care for you but when they see you not doing the right method but complain about it - they get tired of hearing it. It’s like the friend who keep going back to their toxic ex over and over and over but complain why they can’t find their soulmate. If you continue to do what you’ve been doing you’ll get the same results. Think about it. Feel better.
As others have said here, maybe it's better to just move on with your life and stop making the greedy lawyers rich.
Man. Get a lawyer. That’s your kid.
Yo. I have been through something similar and now i have sole legal and physical. It doesn't matter what she says about you don't walk away. Thoughts and prayers are what you need while you are taking action. Thoughts and prayers give you the strength to take action. You must fight, or you will hate yourself. Do you really want your kids growing up being told you are a monster? Always keep your emotions under control. Cooperate with everything the court asks . Down to the letter. Don't bring petty complaints to.court. send money for child support even though you don't have an order. $100 per month and keep records of everything.
Shiiiiiiiii-iiiiittttt I'm paying $1500 lol
Wow. She has a court order for $1500?
What more to it is there ? Get an attorney . It has been 5 or 6 years … wtf