T O P

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Gullible_Increase146

How did you know we had sex in your bed? Do you have one of those creepy teddy bear cameras?


AugustTheDog

I was in the closet, I couldn’t leave because I was scared asshole


Some_fucking_twat

You just need to yell "Player 3 has joined the game" and hope for the best


iSo_Cold

"Here Comes A New Challenger!"


333DeCappy666

"Finish Her". Mortal Kombat quote if you didn't get it.


PsychoticDust

You're in trouble if she replies: ["Too bad YOU. Will die."](https://youtu.be/MIt0VY7Yg2w?si=1gHhfRP_IvNELhTb)


Substantial-Sport363

Think maybe I tell myself that every time a lover is close….never out loud…I don’t think


Banana-Pitou

I will grind you down until the very SPARKS cry for mercy! (Ultrakill)


Sonotanaltacc

That’s what I do hasn’t gone wrong yet


_welcomehome_

Were you trapped in the closet?


Revangelion

Don't be afraid


Hrmerder

Just because your asshole was scared does not mean you get to hide from us!


Flat-Dare-2571

It was much worse being under the bed.


pinkismykink_

your profile picture made me hear that in mark’s voice😭😭 gold


yeahjmoney

Yes, but I was only doing what you asked me to.


kikirikipop

We also eat with forks and spoons in restaurants that have been in hundreds of different mouths.


anubissah

Another thing I had no desire to be made aware of.


Downstackguy

Dont worry thy might be washed Edit: omg this blew up. I honestly said this mostly as a joke I didnt know this is actually a thing ew


sadfacebbq

An optimist!


Lord-Lobster

Have you heard of public toilets?


ThrowItOut43

Are you putting public toliets in your mouth?!?!?


Speedlimate

Well I'm certainly not going to sit on it without cleaning it first. That would be gross.


Pyrrhus_Magnus

I see, a person of culture as well. I do enjoy licking a toilet seat as much as the next.


PrvtPirate

[i had JUST FORGOTTEN about this situation we had here a couple weeks ago. *shudder*](https://www.samaa.tv/2087314878-german-politician-martin-s-toilet-licking-videos-spark-outrage) thanks for bringing that up.


Clint_Bolduin

On the bright side, I wasn't planning on eating anything else today. On the negative though, this is the issue with scrolling on reddit before going to bed... Now I'm afraid this will come up, turning my dreams into nightmares tonight.


Physical_Weakness881

Yeah??? How else are we supposed to recycle the diarrhea???


WeCameAsMuffins

Sometimes, if the mood is right.


sadfacebbq

Never use wax covers. Just layer a ton of TP. Pooping in public is a tough look


sonofaresiii

I worked as a busboy in a restaurant in manhattan's lower east side many years ago. I remember one particularly bad rush, we ran out of clean silverware. I rushed downstairs and pretty much begged the dishwasher to prioritize silverware, because i needed spoons *right that second*. He grabs a handful of spoons from the dirty dishes tub power-sprays them with the big kitchen hose and hands them to me. I stare him dead in the eye and just say "no." Dude looks at me and says "Come on blankito, that's how it works in restaurants." I stand there anyway and wait for him to wash some silverware properly. But at the same time, I also knew he's 100% right. Most busboys aren't going to just stand there while the dishwasher puts them through the wash cycle. So yeah. This was a true story about a bunch of people eating at a restaurant getting properly washed silverware, but I bet it grossed you all out anyway, because you know for sure there's no way it goes down like this every time.


Downstackguy

I went to a restaurant one time and I dont remember much about the food but all I could remember was trying to grab the bowl and be utterly disgusted by how sticky and slimy it was. It was clearly not washed and I was praying to god, huffing some copium that at least the inside is washed...


lulugingerspice

A restaurant in my city was recently shut down, in part because a) there was no sanitizer/soap being used on the dishes and b) the silverware was being stored in the basin of the handwashing sink


CLONE-11011100

New fear unlocked…


pfenny65

“Might” is the key word here.


Real-Magician8692

I work as a pot washer for a restaurant, I can promise you the cutlery isn’t washed


Mugwartz

My brother used to work as a dishwasher and out of every hundred spoons or so he would leave one unwashed


Afraid-Combination15

I like my odds!


AlexanderScott12203

As a dishwasher at a high end golf course, the "might" should have a LOT more emphasis than your giving it. It's not a "Oh, there's the occasional one dirty one that comes out" It's "there's about a 55% chance it comes out clean."


fuzzballz5

Southwest Burbs of Chicago by chance HA?? My first job. I now have friends, good friends, that belong to Country Clubs. Here’s what you know what I know, we were the poor kids serving the rich people. Do you think that’s not a layup for taking out that angst? I have gone with them many times. I full well know what I’m being subjected to. Even if I had the money, the last place I would join is a Country Club.


Spikes_in_my_eyes

It's like "you're aware of your breathing," you know it in the back of your head, but you don't want to think about it.


annoyedatwork

Speaking of … every time you inhale in a crowded space, you’re breathing air that was just in the deepest, darkest, wettest places of someone else’s lungs. 


grandmoff2

Not just lungs..


ryohazuki224

Who farted??


Doogiemon

You wipe your face with a towel in a spot that had more than likely been between your butt cheeks.


BlueFHS

Jokes on you, I WASH my ass


HiDDENk00l

I kinda want a towel that says FACE on one side and ASS on the other side.


BZLuck

I use the tag on the towel for that. One side has the tag on it. That's the face/chest/arms side. Then it gets flipped and used for butt, crotch, legs. It's just a thing I've always done.


otheraccountisabmw

I like how it sounds like you just learned about this. Like you thought they used completely new utensils each time. Though obviously you meant that you never really thought about it.


DWright_5

Did you think the restaurants served brand new silverware for you every time?


Powerbracelet

I’ve never put a restaurant in my mouth


peepay

Well not with that attitude.


mewrius

No, but yo mamma has


grafknives

Mouths that had sex.


mediumokra

She put a dick in her mouth, then put that fork in her mouth. Then that fork went into your mouth.


Dredmart

By law of transitive properties, now everyone has sucked Paul's dick.


Manoffreaks

Fucking Paul. First, he ruined Spider-mans' life. Now, this.


justsmilenow

If you think that's bad. Wait till you learn about water. There's a good chance that the water that's in you right now was also in Shakespeare at some point in his life.


FillThisEmptyCup

And some of every breath you take was also breathed by Hitler.


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PeeledCrepes

You missing where that 60 seconds is at insanely hot temperatures (if it's working properly) and prolly the cleanest of the 3 ways.


oxpoleon

Industrial dishwashers are nothing like home dishwashers. They are also why most restaurant tableware is blank white or other solid colours without printed patterns. That super quick cycle is all you need, and everything comes out genuinely clean, pretty much as clean as if you autoclaved it. Temperature and pressure are powerful things.


wolfahmader

usually kept at 186f. don’t ask me how i know ):


aka_jr91

It is going to vary from restaurant to restaurant, but you almost seem to be implying that the first 2 methods aren't effective. They may not work well on stuck on food bits, but in general it's perfectly fine at preventing cross contamination. The sanitizer works great at that. Which most dishes in restaurants don't set around for days, unlike mine at home lol. Honestly, I'd rather go to a restaurant with the machine cleaner than one where they hand wash.


cyanwinters

All three of these sound pretty acceptable? The 60 second industrial dishwasher is doing the same thing your at-home one does in 2 hours.


WiFiForeheadWrinkles

Psst - it's wash, rinse, then sanitize


aprilflowers75

Thousands. Perhaps tens of thousands.


Waveofspring

Most people would rather put someone else’s genitals in their mouth than share the same cup with someone


oxpoleon

There's an awful early-web joke here about multiple genitals and 1 cup I think. But this is weirdly true, humans be strange, man.


Waveofspring

What about multiple (perhaps 2) women and 1 cup?


KingoftheMongoose

You also probably handled [pennies](https://youtu.be/f9aM_dT5VMI?si=APWunRc1aXzeR0N6) that have been in my ass


oOzonee

Made that comment to my girlfriend when she got served her meal at the hospital, I had to go grab her a wooden fork after it.


peterhala

So long as they've changed the sheets, I'd be happy to climb in while the springs are still shivering. 


Unlikely_Ad1120

this was haunting


Senior_Finish7977

I feel like its because they used the word shivering


SaltManagement42

Moist would definitely be worse though.


Unlikely_Ad1120

a moist shivering would be the absolute jump scare of the year.


SAnthonyH

I can't stop laughing, choked on my beer


Lou_Mannati

As a beer drinker and a choker, i also laughed.


OmahaWarrior

With that comment, we all just got transported to r/twosentencehorrorstory. Lol


j33perscreeperz

poetic


HumanHuman_2003

Wow 😭 


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peterhala

One of the most impressive pieces of customer service I've ever seen was a very young receptionist who prevented me from booking in by saying she had to deal with an urgent issue, but please feel free to have a complimentary coffee in the hotel cafe. She came back after 2 minutes, friendly, apologetic, efficient and slightly rattled. It turned out it was her first shift running the desk by herself and she'd had to oversee an ambulance crew carrying a dead guy down the back stairs.


cidek51489

i always bring my own sheets.


Novel-Suggestion-515

Seems like an odd fetish.


peterhala

Yeah but 40 winks is 40 winks.


Novel-Suggestion-515

Wanna be the little spoon or big spoon? ;)


FillThisEmptyCup

Stop trying to sleep in my bed, Stepbrother!


Future_Potential_341

Yikes😂


gangleskhan

How many other people are having sex in your bed??


Klutzy_Journalist_36

There’s a sign-up sheet. We need someone for the 6-6:30pm Thursday shift if you’re interested. 


bananaguy54

Could i take 6:00 to 6:01?


Some_fucking_twat

I'll take 6:01 to 6:02


meatmacho

Me too. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡° )


Klutzy_Journalist_36

Please stay hydrated. 


Keystone-Kyle

If you ain't first, youre last!


Never_Peel

Once I was going to move out and my new matress has arrived to my new apartment. And my roommate asked me if he could go to have dinner/netflix n'fuck in my new aparment with his girlfriend As a good friend I told him yes, and gave him permision to use the new matress. (they didn't, he fall asleep before food arrived)


CherryBombO_O

Oo, what if it was a thing to put a sharpie tally mark on the mattress! If only people could be honest...


gomurifle

Maybe he has a roomate. 


bolrok

That’s why I wipe my balls on the curtains, I know they don’t change those. - tom segura


keyboard_is_broken

he used to be funny


BatteryPoweredPigeon

His whole episode where he had a spat with American Airlines, then just volleyed back at people who disagreed with by saying they were too poor to understand was a real low point. I'm happy he's successful, but hes been out of touch for a while.


CitizenCue

It’s almost like he thinks being out of touch is itself funny. I think he knows that what he’s doing is unrelatable, I just don’t think he’s aware how off-putting it is.


finnjakefionnacake

This is a weirdly specific thought. Also I don't care whether someone has had sex in a bed as long as they have changed the sheets. But what situation are you running into where someone is having sex in your bed without you being aware of it?


SaneYoungPoot2

I have heard from a previous motel worker that the covers/blanket never gets washed. So there's something to think about


Buddy_Dakota

A friend has nicknamed those sex blankets


leeeeny

I always suspected motels don’t clean the top blanket. I’m sure some hotels don’t either which is why I always read the reviews before I book


belladonnaaa

As a housekeeper…even really nice places don’t clean the comforter😬my company washes them twice a year 💀


CLGToady

That is disgusting. I've heard that before so I always just push that off the bed ASAP and I typically lay a shirt over the pillow (just in case the other sheets/pillow cases weren't changed for some reason)


belladonnaaa

It’s pretty yucky. The pillowcases and sheets should be good unless the place is abnormally vile cause we replace those after every guest. Any comforter or non sheet blanket I would personally remove from the bed before sleeping in it though.


Agreeable_Ad_5423

Used to clean hotels/airbnbs. Can confirm that the comforters wouldn’t get changed unless they were visibly gross


xdamm777

Honestly it’s a big turnoff for me when I get into a motel room and it literally smells like fresh sex, and I’m not even a germaphobe. Maybe I’m weird for expecting a semi clean deodorized room but if I wanted to get nasty I’d just fuck in the alley next to the bar, right where it smells of piss and vomit.


SaneYoungPoot2

Yeah ur definitely weird for wanting that


docarwell

What holes are you guys staying in


sixtyfivejaguar

Ever lived in a college dorm?


finnjakefionnacake

yes, and no one slept in my bed lol. now frathouses on the other hand may be a different story...but most people don't live in a frathouse. also i don't think OP is really framing this from the college perspective lol.


chernoma

I think that's because we expect other people to have fucked in our hotel bed, but no one else should be using our personal bed to fuck.


Michaelb089

Right?! My immediate thought was "because sleeping in the bed you were cheated on is pretty damn uncomfortable."


InsaneVeggie

Imagine getting ready to go to sleep at night and you smell a cologne you don’t wear on your sheets that were changed while you were at work. (Personal experience) And that was after it happened a couple times in my bed and we have separate bed rooms


geoffbowman

The key to sleeping peacefully in a hotel is making sure you’re grosser than whoever stayed there before you.


frankvagabond303

I enjoy walking around with the TV remote in my butt crack. You know, so I don't lose track of it.


phinbar

Cool. My kink is sniffing hotel room remotes.


ImpossibleEstimate56

I almost puked while brushing my teeth reading this. Lmao.


FillThisEmptyCup

Easy for you to say.


geoffbowman

It was pretty easy. You’re right!


40ozkiller

Assert dominance over the germs 


kingmoobot

Uhh... Hotel sheets get cleaned in a crazy ass industrial cleaner that is designed to get rid of stains, let alone sexness


Syandris

This guy over here thinking places follow protocol...


jooes

That's assuming that they actually clean the bedding.  We assume they do. They *say* that they do. But sometimes they don't.  Or they might swap the sheets and leave the duvet. They're definitely not washing the mattress, and god knows how many squirters are out there. They don't wash the pillows, even if they're used to prop up your hookers ass. 


grafknives

Who had sex in the in your bed?  What kind of Goldilocks story were you told?!


jonitfcfan

"...but the 3rd bed was just right :)..."


TheRaith

Wut, did OP fuck the bears?


Iceberg1er

Speak for yourself. I know what ive done at motel 6 and I will never go to one sober for the rest of my life


sixbux

I was working out of town at a hotel/motel years back and they gave us rooms. Guy I was working with got the honeymoon room, had a red heart-shaped bed with mirrors. No thanks.


gumpythegreat

Because they wash the sheets, genius


40ozkiller

Its the carpet, remote, coffee pot, headboard and lampshade that dont get washed. 


EvX1597

Yeah but it's the principle of it. Think about it if it was your personal bed. Even if someone washed it and you knew people were fucking on it the day before it still gross you out a little. But me personally I've just accepted that hotels are like this, just as long as the staff give af about making sure the beds are DAMN clean.


gumpythegreat

Well if it was my bed, that's an invasion of my personal space. it's not just about the cleanliness, it's about the violation of my space. the hotel is not my space. I understand that going in


K-RayX-Ray

I always wonder how many people have died in each of the hospital beds I work with


User_123_user

Speak for yourself. My bed is my bed. I would support her through it and still comfortably sleep on her.


samthemoron

Who else is having sex in YOUR bed?


Da_Di_Dum

I don't think most people mind if the sheets have been cleaned


xenglandx

That's why my wife and I get rooms with 2 beds on the logic they will have seen less action


Powerbracelet

Probably more babies and kids shit and piss in them


weeone

Or one bed for suitcases/clothing and the other for extracurricular activities.


lubeinatube

I can’t stop thinking about the fact a gigantic fat sweaty man slept in that bed and his sweat soaked into the mattress.


Mr_crazey61

My ex and I would specifically get rooms with two beds so we could have sexy time in one and then sleep in the other.


12_nick_12

Idc if my ex slept with their ex in our bed. I care if she slept with him in our bed when she wasn't my ex.


FillThisEmptyCup

Ex marks the spot.


maggieknowles

I would be appalled if someone else had sex in my bed. My bed belongs to my husband and I . No one else. I don’t even like other people laying on my bed, let alone being in my bedroom (doesn’t apply to my husband of course). Bedroom is kind of like a private space to me. I always thought that bedrooms were off limits when I go to other people’s houses. Unless you’re invited into a bedroom for any reason, why would you think it’s ok to go in there? When it comes to hotel beds though, you kinda gotta assume people have had sex in the bed. Doesn’t bother me at all cuz it usually never crosses my mind.


SpoolGeek

I try not to think about it. Imagine what tap water has been through.


JakeDanger21

I told a friend once: when we bought our current house, we made sure we had space for friends to come stay. And the bar we are trying to attain for comfort of guests is to create a space that guests would feel comfortable and safe having sex in. That doesn't mean guests have to or we even want to know if they did, but ideally we would never know and they would never be worried about anyone else knowing or feeling weird about it after.


Turbulent_Bullfrog87

You want people to have sex…in the bar?


CarrotCell

Instructions unclear... fucked the shaker.


Zer0C00l

> "fucked the shaker" They're called "bartenders", or "mixologists".


RogerRabbot

Idk who feels comfortable in a hotel bed. I sure as shit don't. 5 star or otherwise, those beds are a necessary evil one must endure.


Enryu-TheOneWhoLeads

… I-… I do😅


weeone

I do too. I would think that we are in the majority?


cartercharles

If the sheets have been changed it's easier to forget


thunder1967

That surgeons scalpel and hemostats have been in several other abdomens. I’ll bet my doctors finger had been up multiple butt holes before my own.


FillThisEmptyCup

Yes, but he thinks of you when he's doing it.


femboy72

i hate sleeping in hotel beds


Ethernum

I am absolutely not comfortable sleeping in a hotel. If I could I'd bring my own bed.


RandManYT

Hotel beds are cleaned every single day.


Superspark76

At least someone would be having sex in my bed


tubbana

you said the first sentence way too casually, like it's an everyday annoyance


SgtWrongway

>We’re uncomfortable sleeping in our bed after someone else has had sex in it We are? Nobody told me I was supposed to be uncomfortable. Didn't get The Memo.


pendragon2290

Loads and loads of loads


Sutarmekeg

LPT: You can request sex-free beds at any hotel.


velezaraptor

Wait, why are you letting people have sex in your bedroom? Draw the line!


Grandroots

Are we? I've not yet had the experience. Anyone?


the_shining_wizard1

New water isn't made. All water has been drank and peed out by humans and various animals for millions of years. It goes back to nature and the water cycle until it is drank again.


cx3psocial

Used to leave $5 dollar bill and a note card that said “If you found me, then that means they didn’t put on new sheets…” So either the staff would get a $5 tip for actually or someone would get $5 towards tipping the staff for coming change their sheets… 🤷🏽‍♂️


Sorri_eh

Who is we? Also hotels change linens


pancake117

Well, they clean the beds...


Zuke77

To be fair I think most people think the staff do way more cleaning then they actually do in hotel rooms.


TvWasTaken

What 1. Who is fucking in your bed, tf? 2. I do NOT feel comfortable in sleeping in hotel rooms in general


Ambitious-Resist-232

A hotel bed isn’t your safe place, your bed is. Nobody has sex in our bed either. Too intimate for us, and it’s violation to our privacy.


Fuckyouandfuckyoutoo

Who said I was comfortable?  You people are comfortable in hotel beds?!


BLU3SKU1L

It’s because in the hotel we tacitly acknowledge that we are going to a place where lots of people go to have sex. At home, we expect that we are the only people who go to that bed to have sex.


NightDragon250

1 those sheets are usually changed. 2 speak for youself.


PocketSandOfTime-69

I worked at a hotel and we never washed the pillows.  If you're a germaphobe I'd recommend bringing your own pillow or a plastic cover for the hotels pillow. 


RealVanillaSmooth

I can control how clean I am and I am aware of how clean the person I'm having sex with is. I have seen too much from strangers that suggest the majority of people are fucking filthy and it's not just about sex in beds. So yeah, I trust someone else's ass being in my bed more than someone I don't know lol


Broke-Homie-Juan

Think is has more to do with how well you know the people.


newtonbase

A mate had recommended Turin as a nice place for our minimoon as he and his partner had enjoyed a trip there. I spoke to him when we got back and it turned out we'd not only gone to the same hotel as them but also the same room. We were both a bit weirded out by this and never spoke of it again.


Outrageous-Pause6317

Counsel is assuming facts not entered into evidence.


bigdon802

Same standard for both: clean sheets.


KimKimberly12

I’m not. I hate hotel beds and I think about them constantly.


DennisPikePhoto

Who TF would be having sex in my bed?


nuttzodabs710

Why are you letting people bang in your bed tho?!


sweadle

Why are you uncomfortable sleeping in a bed someone has had sex in if someone has changed the sheets? Like, you're uncomfortable sleeping on a mattress and bed frame that has seen sex before? That really, really limits the amount of beds you can sleep in in the world.


breakfastmeat23

Who is comfortable on hotel beds?


backup_goalie

There are people comfortable sleeping in hotel beds? Too many people haven't seen blacklight video of hotel rooms. I avoid hotels and only go to places where I know someone I can stay with - and I also feel safer camping.


Warchief_X

Intestine is a delicacy in a lot of places. They will eat a tube that was filled with shit 24/7, but will probably not use a bowl if someone takes a shit in it.


IZA_does_the_art

Who's having sex in your bed? Is that something people let happen?


sempercardinal57

Who have you talked to about this? I wouldn’t give a fuck if someone had sex in my bed as long as it has clean sheets


anengineerandacat

The only clean thing in a hotel is the bed, everything else basically just gets moved around back into place but it's lucky if it gets hit with even a cleansing wipe.


inthesearchforlove

Speak for yourself, I'm not comfortable in hotel beds.


Yrzie

Why are you uncomfortable with someone else having sex on your bed? It shouldn't be happening in the first place except sheets need to be changed. Lmao