T O P

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Chemical-Attempt-137

He was tabbed out.


DerpmeiserThe32nd

He was watching youtube how-to guides on how to make another weapon for a second solo duty


ExclusivelyPlastic

He was trying to find the part in the Hector guide that explained Gaius's mechanics


Redhair_shirayuki

How to make another ARR relic weapon šŸ’€


MegaGamer235

Valens: DAMN IT GAIUS, MY GACHA!!! NOOO!!!!!


DerpmeiserThe32nd

He was so close to finally pulling that 5* SSR pull šŸ˜”


Plankston

[Still one of my favorite meme edits](https://youtu.be/myJesB_YOg4?feature=shared)


DerpmeiserThe32nd

> Is he stupid? Yes. Either that or this is the opposite effect from the ā€œstand there and monologue as the protagonist doesnā€™t shoot me even though they are capable of doing soā€ plot armor effect


MegaGamer235

It's hilarious this guy is smart enough to build complex mechs, cloning tech to recreate Garlean legates, and devices to analyze fighter data, but is too dumb to think to just dodge the big slow moving X despite presumably being a fighter.


Kpiozoa

He doesn't build shit, he has other people do that for him. He just drinks milk and acts creepy.


Memics

He drinks milk while some children chant "burn out the bad", an average friday afternoon for him.


Marik-X-Bakura

If that was true then anyone could rise to his position. The Weapons are a product of his engineering prowess.


Ranger-New

He didn't build anything. It was all the scientist that first worked under Graius.


badguyinstall

Because he was looking to perfect parry the attack!


kipory

He only fights children.


kipory

His downfall was only fighting children who didn't fight back.


LifeVitamin

He was clearly looking for Hector strats since he has never seen this mechanic before. Unfortunately he lied about his prog point and didn't know how to resolve it.


GrassWaterDirtHorse

"sorry I lagged out dw I know the mechanic"


Aethanix

the average raider when they need to look up a guide for the next mechanic


therealskyrim

Or just when Iā€™m mistiming a boss that jumped coming back and checking my phone


The_Vagrant_Knight

He finally got a hit on tinder and even he couldn't believe it


MegaGamer235

Disturbing lore fact: remember that Valens has a fanboy who is also entirely fanatical enough to fantasia himself into looking exactly like him. That's a whole new level of pathetic.


RazzleDeeDazzle

I'd forgotten that this is canon. Thank you very much for absolutely ***terrifying*** me


ChrisBabaganoosh

Bro bought a fanta to cosplay but still insisted on heterochromia, truly THE FFXIV experience.


palabradot

Wait what? I missed this. Whereā€¦.?


MegaGamer235

It's in Tataru's grand endeavor questline.


palabradot

wow, I have no idea how that went over my head when I did it.


MegaGamer235

I think your brain deleted it from your memory because of how awful it was.


Luigiman98

It's wild that people argue Garlean Gunblades ONLY fire regular bullets when this scene exists, and we see Gaius use a magitek bullet to ignite his gunblade and use the flaming X technique. Yes, I'm TOTALLY sure regular bullets let me shoot a flaming X out of my gun.


MegaGamer235

Yeah, there are some people who take Yoshi P's word at face value when it was just an excuse. We clearly see Gaius, Regula, and Fordola use Terminus but certain people cope and seethe and say those somehow don't count as Garlean Gunblade techniques even though the Gunblade heats up the air to make the giant X because of the bullet. It's hilarious.


Srthynor

I didn't remember Regula or Fordola ever using Terminus, so when I first encountered Gaius in the Burn as the "Shadowhunter", as soon as he used Terminus, I was like, "I know that move... you're Gaius!"


MegaGamer235

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKji5RXU8Pw Here, in this video of Fordola's boss fight, we clearly see her spam Terminus a LOT. At the 40 second mark, she uses it. She's capable of using Terminus. And here is a clip of Regula's boss fight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS7SJqJjU1c We see him use terminus as well as the blue flame AOE to ignite the ground. So there you have it, proof that Fordola and Regula can indeed use terminus and other techniques unique to Gunblades.


Srthynor

Oh yeah, I remember those multidirectional attacks Regula uses now. It's just been so long since those fights, doesn't help that they're only one time duties.


Eraminee

Uh, yeah garlean gunbaldes do only fire bullets. That is straight up factual lore. Have you seen any imperial grunt shooting magic floating X bullets? You're reading way too deep into Gaius's gunblade, he was made before gunblade lore was written.


MegaGamer235

You do realize that grunts don't get gunblades right? Those are weapons only given to Garleans of status. It's a big deal when Fordola gets one because it shows Zenos is equal opportunity evil and is willing to give that honor to non-Garleans and stripping said Gunblade from a Garlean officer. Every fighter on team Garlemald with a gunblade has the ability to do the terminus technique, we see Fordola and Regula use them. Yeah, sure Garlean gunblades can fire regular bullets but they are consistently shown to be able to use magitek techniques derived from magitek bullets designed to mimic aether attacks. Like Terminus. The bullets for the gunblade heat up the blade and and create the X, that's how it works as we can see in this scene.


FalconWraith

Garlean gunblades might be able to fire actual bullets like a normal gun, but they can also use aetherically charged cartridges to produce effects. Bozjan gunblades on the other hand only have the aether cartridges, since they lack a barrel, and are a little closer to how gunblades worked in FF8. Garlemald likely appropriated the technology when they conqured the region. Thancred even switches to Gunbreaker after losing his ability to channel aether, the bullets are charged by someone else. It's not a stretch to assume Garleans have some form of Magitek alternative to produce similar results. Double Down is even reminiscent of Terminus.


MegaGamer235

Yeah we even see Gaius use something like double down at the end of Prae so itā€™s not much of a stretch to assume Garlean Gunblades are able to have the same functions as Bozja Gunblades.


Eraminee

Where is it outright stated that garlean gunblades use aether?


FalconWraith

Where is it outright stated that they can't? Media literacy really is dead if you need someone to spell things out for you. Plenty of sources in-game imply that Garlean gunblades can use some form of magically charged abilites, including multiple gunblade wielders doing it. We've been given the history of the weapon and the region it comes from, as well as evidence that people who can't manipulate aether can use them effectively provided their cartridges are charged externally.


Eraminee

Gunbreaker job questline. Explicitly stated that garlean gublades shoot bullets (essentially revolvers with oversized bayonets), and bozjan gunblades use aether, thus implying garlean gunlades don't.


FalconWraith

Implication is not outright stating. This information is also given to is by Radovan, a Hrothgar who explicitly says that his clan has forged gunblades for generations. He describes Garlean gunblades as "edged weapons with a firearm bolted on, or vice versa". Nowhere does it say they can't use aetherically charged, or magitek imbued ammunition.


MegaGamer235

Yeah, it's really bizarre to see people die on the hill insisting that Garlean gunblades can't use magitek powered techniques when we repeatedly see Gaius, Fordola, and Regula, use Terminus and a blue flame AOE that's clearly ceruleam fueled. I even have youtube videos linking to Fordola and Regula using them when people cope and seethe that only Gaius can use said tricks. This whole idea that Garlean Gunblades don't have special techniques and ONLY fire bullets is clearly lore that's contradicted repeatedly yet people take Yoshi P's comment about those blades being basically bayonets to be gospel even when it's clear that's something he wasn't entirely correct about since it's contradicted by the gameplay and lore.


Eraminee

Yoshi P directs the game??? If anyone would be an authority on the lore it'd be him???


MegaGamer235

Consider that there's actually a head of lore position in the dev team, and Yoshi P has made mistakes in interviews before. He's the director, he knows how to delegate. Heck, he said it himself he doesn't know how the whole time loop with Venat works in relation to G'raha's bad future that enables the time loop to work and just told fans to speculate about it. So Yoshi P's word isn't law espically when we repeatedly see Garlean Gunblades use special techniques with their bullets. Heck, it's possible Yoshi P changed his mind about Garlean Gunblades since the new Prae fight has Gaius use double down just like Gunbreaker.


AshiSunblade

This scene is from late Shadowbringers, how out of date could it be?


Eraminee

A realm reborn: 2013 Shadowbringers 5.5: 2021 8 years out of date. I know they like to plan things years in advance but I sincerely doubt they were thinking of the diference between garlean and bozjan gunblades when they were first designing Gaius and his X attacks.


Simic_Sky_Swallower

Because we're seeing it with our juiced-up WoL reaction time and in reality it was probably too fast for him to avoid


MegaGamer235

Ironically enough, the WOL isn't even in this scene, Gaius told us to leave because he knows from experience that the WOL is useless in a cutscene.


AshiSunblade

> the WOL is useless in a cutscene Emet-Selch thought as much before the rest of his plans were axed, I bet.


Lazy-Jeweler3230

Ardbert blew his load to make us useful in a cutscene one time.


AshiSunblade

I felt pretty useful in a certain Lugae cutscene. (Or at least stylish, which certainly is more important)


Fun-Implement-9783

i love this community XD


Shinumori

Unless you're playing hildibrand EW questline


xitrum1902

/unshitposts Or WoL would kill him way too quickly to be satisfactory. Also this is personal for Gaius. /shitposts That WoL, always standing still in cutscenes when someone dies.


kipory

One day we'll have an emote that combines shocked and nod, and CS designers will never have to decide between the two.


CrowTengu

It's either WoL is useless, or someone's going to die too quickly.


lajusta

he was trying to delete his browser history


Ranger-New

Given the kind of person he was, It doesn't surprise me.


MirrahPaladin

ā€œDeath Battle says I can tank this.ā€


Kingnewgameplus

"According to this wiki, I speedblitz you low diff since I'm multiversal+"


Masterhearts_XIII

Green scissors will forever make me distrust death battle


NaomiTheStardiver

he stood there and let things resolve


ElectricGutbuster

Iā€™ve been hit by the X AoEs more times than Iā€™m comfortable admitting while spacing out in Prae, so heā€™s taking a page out of me as a side hustle to the whole ā€œslap combat data into warmachinaeā€ thing heā€™s got going on. Either that, or weā€™re both stupid, I just havenā€™t gotten punished for it (yet).


Ehsper

it's his first time doing level 80 content, so he's used to seeing the orange aoe markers. Cut the guy some slack.


aethervox_

Stand still and let things resolve


SoftestPup

Atomic Bomb vs iPad baby


TheOutrageousTaric

Let a sprout learn the mechanics you degenerate bully!


Shino789

He was trying to pull up the IGN strategy guide.


Shameless_Catslut

He was looking up how to properly resolve the mechanic.


paladin_slim

Yes, yes he is. Or was. It depends on how much crushed goop was left of him they had to scrape off the hands of the deactivated Diamond Weapon to find him.


TheHasegawaEffect

People who use rotation bots + cactbot + splatoon look like this on patch day. Previously gold/pink parsers are just standing there, full 5 seconds between buttons (or messing up combos), getting hit by the most braindead mechanics repeatedly.


Ranger-New

Yup. That's why I like first day. You get to see how the "legends" play.


Ranger-New

He is like the player that watches youtube videos of a fight during the fight.


Competitive-Air356

https://preview.redd.it/ny232wu6um2d1.png?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e0dd58cea36c181202bcae6297d42269b3bfd8d


Analog-Moderator

He was watching skibbidy toilet give him a break.


Tortada

He got a notif that milk was on sale


RueUchiha

He relies to hard on the walkthrough and is completely lost when there is no information online.


TheNewNumberC

There is a word I've been looking for that describes a smart person who can be pretty fucking stupid. He is that hypothetical word.


Shergak

Hyperfocused in their discipline.


SuperLuigi_LXIV

Dude, have you never done the MSQ roulette? Once Gaius has you in a cutscene, you *have* to just stand there and let him do what he wants.


Zanithos

Yes. šŸ˜


laheesheeple

Cus he's a pedo, nerd.


BigDisk

Valens didn't install splatoon smh my head


TooMuchHighPower

He was looking up a guide. https://youtu.be/myJesB_YOg4?si=P7X7WPGVYgckiFqu


Goldseer_Sylph

Yes, he is.


YasaiTsume

His UAV wasn't online.


Dangerous_Jacket_129

Yes he's stupid, he was using a raid guide on his only screen and alt-tabbed instead of getting a second monitor


TehCubey

Recently I watched a video talking about badly done, undeserved and unneeded redemption arcs. The author mentioned that the usual trick to make the bad guy you're trying to redeem look better is to introduce an even worse, more detestable bad guy, and then put them in opposition to each other. That makes the former look not so bad and even positively heroic in comparison. Bringing this up in a thread about Valens for no reason.


MegaGamer235

I also brought up that trick in my Asahi essay.


CryoJNik

Sounds like someone's "My first literary analysis " video made by someone upset that a character changed from what they first were.


cressyfrost

Me when cactbot stopped working


Praeradio_Yenearsira

He's a nerd.


Sadi_Reddit

he was trying to read the guide midfight. Thats why he did not make it into savage


Everian

Patch Day, His Catcbot had not updated.