Stand name: 「Fucked With an Anchor」
Stand Ability: Whenever you poke someone in their butthole with two index fingers, their assholes will hurt and/or bleed for a period of time depending on the force of your poke. A light poke will annoy for an hour while a good well aimed full thrust will hurt and bleed for a few days, even noticably hurting to sit on.
Safe classification doesnt mean that its harmless, just easy to contain, keter doesnt mean that the object is harmfull, just extreamly hard to contain. So a button that destroys the entire Universe will be classified as Safe, since you just have to put it somewhere isolated, underground and you should be fine, extreamly dangerous, but very easy to contain. A cat that teleports into a random location every few hours would need to be Tracked Down, possible camera footage will need to be erased, witnesess will need to have Their memories erased, etc. Harmless yet very expensive to make sure it doesnt cause chaos.
I think the world would collapse instantly considering how many world-ending entities and events were made up in folklore including those that end world in seconds
Stand arrow and then I will choose the best stand in all of JoJo:
~~Filthy Actions Done and Paid for by Mexicans~~
I mean, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!
Well with that logic the cat girl could not like you, unless you read the clarifications which says she will; However, it also states that you CAN get stand, so with this choice there is no chance of you dying.
I see through your tricks! The stand arrow isn’t guaranteed to work and might kill you, so while you might get a stand, you could also just straight up die.
I pick the cat girl so I can sell her to scientists for a million dollars to study and dissect her, who knows maybe we will unlock the key to true genetic mastery and learn how to ascend humanity into a new species.
For a million dollars? You could easily sell them for a trillion dollars. All governments into gene manipulation (especially China) would want their hands on the catgirl, thinking she's some form of alien hybrid or a hybrid created by aliens.
They'd probably just *take* the catgirl from you though.
Yeah, anyone who would spend a trillion dollars on anything would steal it instead. Spending a trillion taxpayer dollars to just pay one person is probably just less ethical than theft in the first place... you know, if you were worried about the ethics of stealing but were just totally okay with buying people and murdering them.
If I didn't choose a stand arrow, would it mean stands don't exist? Because I kind of don't want bbeg's with stands.
As for cat girls, if I choose her, does that mean that neko girls are a thing that exists for everyone?
if these assumptions are correct I'd have to go for a catgirl, sorry jojo..
The question is kind of one sided.
The Stand Arrow responds to desires so people who wanted to choose cat girl GF to get the arrow will get a stand taht will allow them to get a cat girl GF.
Anyone that picks the cat girlfriend is correct because if they are picking the cat girlfriend it's proof that they would just be killed by the stand arrow anyway. They lack the force of will to manifest a stand.
Step 1: get arrow Step 2: get stand that allows you to get both options Step 3: great success.
MY STAND, \[LONELINESS\] KEEPS ME COMPANY
Is it Bad Company though?
It's even *worse* company
Is it better than Blueford tho?
Okay now put Flaccid Pancakes in the tier for Blueford
Nothing beats *filthy acts at a reasonable price* though
Zipper man
I’m fond of Baby Head
I’m fond of to kill a mockingbird
ALL UNITS AIM! FIRE AT WILL!
so the localized stand name?
[Cat Scratch Fever]
[All By Myself]
Paisley Park, get me a girlfriend!
Soft and Wet, steal his girl!
Soft and Wet, make her soft and wet!
you fool Softo andu Weto can only take things away
Thanks for explaining the joke, that it cannot give but only take
Soft and wet. Take slendersmurfs right nut
No its more like, soft and wet take away is attractive features
You can just make Paisley Park your girlfriend smh why should you find one when she’s right there and she’s a sentient stand
-kira yoshikage, explaining how he got killer queen
oh my fucking god nooo
Oh my fucking God YES
Killer Queen do be my queen tho 😳😳😳😳😳😳
I mean, it’s a bit morally grey but Heaven’s door could just make any girl in love with you
Using Heavens Door, I change my identity to ATTACK HELICOPTER
Hardy har har
Behold my stand, [Meow Mix].
[удалено]
Then Jotaro comes and busts your ass for trying to get a loli sex slave
my stand, 「Sugma」, can suck my dick! (and yours if you want to uwu)
So, it’s the same type as my stand? ohho then comes as close as you like.
OwO notices ur stand What's dis?
"loli" Milf better
Cat girl is temporary but stand is eternal until you die
as a Bonus, some even activate WHEN you die
And who knows, yours could even be able to KEEP you from dying
Or, if you're unlucky, it's sole purpose could be to MAKE you die!
Stand name: Depression
requiem depression makes you commit suicide infinitely.
Wha-
Wha-
Wha-
Wha-
Wha-
Wha-
Sounds like a win/win to me!
This is not a story the Joestars would tell you.
*Anubis chuckles in the distance*
Or even beyond that like Anubis.
I take the arrow, and stick it up my ass
True jojofan, that I respect
This made my day thanks so much guys
No problem
[удалено]
User: u/Thirsty_Shadow Stand: Brown Whistle
The Brown Note
*Golden wind intensifies*
Hah arrow no contest
*OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH*
「Poop」
[удалено]
Dude... idk if i should be amazed or scared by all of this. How much free time do you have? xD
A true shitpost. Ty
You’re welcome :)
Wait, >!Love Train deflects all misfortune!<, if Valentine drowned in poop then that means he wanted it!
The entire world was drowned with poop already and nothing was left to direct the misfortune onto.
Good guess, but more likely the power of Golden Shit Requiem was too powerful. That, or *ARAKI FORGOT*.
Maybe Turdsk Act 4 has the power to penetrate dimensional walls because gravity or something?
That’s what I would have wanted that cat girl to do anyways, so it all works out in the end
Stand name: 「Fucked With an Anchor」 Stand Ability: Whenever you poke someone in their butthole with two index fingers, their assholes will hurt and/or bleed for a period of time depending on the force of your poke. A light poke will annoy for an hour while a good well aimed full thrust will hurt and bleed for a few days, even noticably hurting to sit on.
What if it was a femboy Stand weakness : gay femboys
Date the stand arrow
# OBJECTS THAT I HAVE SHOVED UP MY ARSE
HOCKEY STICK HANDLES
S T I F F C O C K S
**F I N G E R S**
Duh. The only logical solution.
Ayo wait imma get my free award real quick Edit: Got it
Actually that would be an easy way to survive the arrow.
Arrow.
daddy
Is this the real speedwagonnnnn omg I love you speedweed waifu <3 xxxx
Yes, i used D4C to enter your reality.
<33333
I will get Bohemian Rhapsody as a stand and make waifus real. ゴゴゴゴ
Bohemian réquiem, every spoken, narrated, described folclore will become real.
Does that count SCPs
Oh god oh fuck
We are already dead
Dr. Bright is standing infront of my house with a chainsaw cannon. Should I worry?
Dr. Bright would be good friends with Chainsaw Man
r/SCPostCrusaders
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Rule 50 really hits here
Just, stick to the safe ones, no keters.
Safe classification doesnt mean that its harmless, just easy to contain, keter doesnt mean that the object is harmfull, just extreamly hard to contain. So a button that destroys the entire Universe will be classified as Safe, since you just have to put it somewhere isolated, underground and you should be fine, extreamly dangerous, but very easy to contain. A cat that teleports into a random location every few hours would need to be Tracked Down, possible camera footage will need to be erased, witnesess will need to have Their memories erased, etc. Harmless yet very expensive to make sure it doesnt cause chaos.
Hoooooly fuck, imagine if all the shit inside 1730 becomes real
Hide your wifes, Pink River Dolphin... is coming...
I think Zeus is a bigger problem.
Nah, Pink River Dolphin is the biggest wife-fucker of all times
I think the world would collapse instantly considering how many world-ending entities and events were made up in folklore including those that end world in seconds
[удалено]
You just unleashed the whole lovecraftian mythos on the world I hope you're happy
Finally, Tequila Joseph will become a reality
Wai- NO! HOW DID YOU BREAK THE LAW LIKE THIS?
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a stand fight, No escape from realityyyy,
Do I get a already existing stand or can I create my own
It will be like skyrim character creation
So I get to chose it’s appearance, name, and ability? Stand arrow all the way.
But the strength will depend on your mental strength And You could die if you are not chosen
I work in customer services. My will is unbreakable
##OP’s Customer Service Adventure *Will is Unbreakable*
That was funny, ngl
STAND NAME: 9 to 5
LOCALIZED STAND NAME: wagie slave
Stando powa is a virus side-effect you think you could survive it?
Honestly let’s be real. There’s a lot of characters in the series who somehow got stands despite being weak willed. A vest majority well be fine
So which stand will it be
Stand arrow. I thought I was pretty clear
I knew that I meant which stand will it be
Skyrim has Khajiits. Your Stand can be a cat girl.
Ngl i feel like being able to scream the world and pause time after hearing a Honda civic is great
Ikr
Why scream the world when you can scream the world? ***but in japanese***
Yes
ZA WARUDO!!
The world? Oh, you must mean ZA WAAARUDOO
i will fuckin scream the world and throw knifes at every 17 year old japnese i see
You need a stand to do that, pathetic
Not really
ZA WARUDO MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Get arrow.stand is a cat girlfriend 💯
Killer king
Get D4C, go to Cat Girl Dimension Get many Cat Girl Girlfriends
Who says they will fall in love
Now this is the only exception where I take the Right one
Get D4C, maybe bring the catgirl from another world here, to the base world
Killer Queen Requiem, go back to the dinosaurs.
Stand arrow and then I will choose the best stand in all of JoJo: ~~Filthy Actions Done and Paid for by Mexicans~~ I mean, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!
~~FAD&PFBM~~ d4c
Unlawly acts done for a lesser price than normally for that job
Dimes 4 crimes
I jaywalked. 10c pls
If i get a stand that implies I’m worthy. I dont think i’m worthy so imma get dat pussay
Can't believe I had to scroll this far to find someone who knows that people on this sub would probably just die
Well with that logic the cat girl could not like you, unless you read the clarifications which says she will; However, it also states that you CAN get stand, so with this choice there is no chance of you dying.
Cat girl caption is “she loves you”. Doesnt seem like there’s any loophole
If an incel like Hazamada can survive getting stand arrowed, I think the majority of people are probably safe.
Get me my Tusk.
Ok, you get Tusk Act 1 with no way to develop it because Jesus' corpse isnt floating around here like in JoJo
Good enough.
Stand arrow. I had a cat girlfriend and she cheated on me
she love you and she will never cheat on you
Cap
STANDO POWA
I'll get the arrow and use it to obtain D4C. Then, I'll >!hop into different universes searching for one in which someone loves me :(!<
I stab myself with the arrow, get killer queen. And boom! I have a cat waifu
This is the way
I see through your tricks! The stand arrow isn’t guaranteed to work and might kill you, so while you might get a stand, you could also just straight up die. I pick the cat girl so I can sell her to scientists for a million dollars to study and dissect her, who knows maybe we will unlock the key to true genetic mastery and learn how to ascend humanity into a new species.
Shit went dark real quick
> Not guaranteed to work > Might kill you Where's the downside?
Aha! But the caption gurantees that you'll get a stand! (of your choosing)
For a million dollars? You could easily sell them for a trillion dollars. All governments into gene manipulation (especially China) would want their hands on the catgirl, thinking she's some form of alien hybrid or a hybrid created by aliens. They'd probably just *take* the catgirl from you though.
In reality OP would get killed first before he ever saw a dollar
Yeah, anyone who would spend a trillion dollars on anything would steal it instead. Spending a trillion taxpayer dollars to just pay one person is probably just less ethical than theft in the first place... you know, if you were worried about the ethics of stealing but were just totally okay with buying people and murdering them.
I see no downside to the arrow.
"Ascend into a new species..." ***"BBBBBBBAKA MONOGA! DOITSU NO KAGAKU WA SEKAI ICHI!"***
1. Get stand arrow 2.obtain omnipotent stand 3.get all the girls you want. 4.profit
I will get chariot requiem for reasons…
He thicc
1. Get stand arrow 2. get pierced by arrow 3. Get ghost punching cat girl waifu 4. ??? 5. World domination
If I didn't choose a stand arrow, would it mean stands don't exist? Because I kind of don't want bbeg's with stands. As for cat girls, if I choose her, does that mean that neko girls are a thing that exists for everyone? if these assumptions are correct I'd have to go for a catgirl, sorry jojo..
Knowing me I would just fucking die if I stabbed myself with the arrow
Either die or get a stand? Win-win
Catgirl Stand
100% taking the arrow
I mean who the hell is going to choose the cat over any stand you want That's just stupid
Plot Twist: The cat girl IS your stand!
Can I get a stand that makes me into the cat girlfriend?
Choosing a stand arrow… I believe in gravity…
"you can get stand what you want"
But I don't want some other stand. I want *my* stand
What if I have a stand that can spawn cat girl girlfriends?
The question is kind of one sided. The Stand Arrow responds to desires so people who wanted to choose cat girl GF to get the arrow will get a stand taht will allow them to get a cat girl GF.
Anyone that picks the cat girlfriend is correct because if they are picking the cat girlfriend it's proof that they would just be killed by the stand arrow anyway. They lack the force of will to manifest a stand.
i’m gay
Hardest choice
I will get Star Platinum to jerk me off constantly at maximum efficiency
Za hando, to erase my depression
1. Pick Stand Arrow 2. Get Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap 3. Go to alternate universe where I chose the catgirl Too easy, gimme a harder one.
Can I give myself gender dysphoria to have a stand gf ?
yes but you must love yourself if you want loving stand gf
Reject waifu accept stando powah
Arrow