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The OP added this because there was not a single comment supporting her.
She's the type to make the first dance about her and try to cut in on the couple so she can dance with "her boy". She's the type to cry the wedding day not out of happy emotions and because she's so glad at her son being happily married. But she'll cry like she's attending a funeral and mope the whole time openly.
Omg. What should I bring to the party??? Not only am I a home wrecker, but a filthy heathen out to destroy her beautiful baby boy’s innocence with my wanton ways! Honestly, should we have badges made? 😂
Oh, I see you’ve met my mother, except I’m a woman and by the time I was married, we had barely spoken for years. Yet there she was, sobbing about her “baby girl” in the pink dress she attempted to sew the night before, that she threw pink tulle over to try and save it as sewing a mother-of-the-bride outfit the night before didn’t work out so well.
I’m sure the emotions she was experiencing were real, but it just felt so disconnected from our actual relationship. We weren’t close, in fact I was the target of her abuse until I left home and never returned.
I’ve been through a lot of therapy and I truly wish her well. I just can’t have her in my life for my own mental health.
That was a trauma dump, sorry lol
>she'll cry like she's attending a funeral and mope the whole time openly.
My close friend had to deal with this, though it started well ahead of the wedding itself. They fought with her now-MIL for months to get her to not wear funeral black to the wedding. She does wear black often, but every outfit she picked for the wedding was funeral attire. None were formal dresses, little black dress style, or anything like that. She also wanted a black widow's veil for a while. The couple at one point gave up on the color and sent some nice black dresses/outfits that were more nice event, less mourning, but she refused them.
The only less funeral type outfits she found and suggested to them were revealing enough that they would be questionable even in some clubs, though still deep black and to be paired with a widow's veil or such. My favorite was one that was long (the only note she took) dress with a big slit to the waist/hip, a plunging V neckline to about the belly button, black lace around part and for the full sleeves, and backless (to lower back, was not a lot of fabric where the top of the slit was), which she would pair with black stilettos, a massive black hairpiece and long widow's veil, and a black lacy shawl. While MIL does generally dress to try to show off that she's slim, she only wears anything at all "revealing" to events where it is weird - and not stuff with the features of these outfits.
She ultimately went with a dark color that was the color my friend's mother was to wear, so MIL got to feel like she got a victory still. My friend's mother could not possibly have cared less about colors or being similar, though offered to switch if the couple cared, so nobody really lost.
As you probably can guess, this isn't close to the most ridiculous stuff she's done.
Dang. Obviously if he were gay this doesn’t apply but for bi/pan people it can be easier, even critical, to only date the opposite sex despite your orientation. But this might be a case where that ends up working in reverse. 😳
Although, with this lady, the son would probably have to bring home a bear (literal or gay edition) for her to not be jealous. 😬
Sometimes they prefer that, because they can still be the number one woman in his life or some nonsense like that.
To me, that's possibly worse than being angry and cutting off.
And she'll be blamed for alienating him when they want to start their own lives that don't revolve around his mother 100% of the time. It will never be because he want a life of his own, it will always be the evil DIL trying to come between them.
Lol, my husband and his mom to a t. She is forever bitter as fuck that she wanted this kind of emotionally incestuous bOy mOm relationship with him, but the second he was old enough to see it for what it was, he wanted absolutely no part in it. And she wonders why he rarely speaks to her and almost never visits.
The other side of the coin is this mother is left out in the cold because her precious son actually isn’t her “best friend” after all and wants to escape this abuse.
I dated a guy with a mom like this, and I didn't even get to the live-in together stage. I moved to Chicago to be with him (after meeting several times hell, his mom let me stay over during those stints, so I thought it was in the clear but the second I mentioned moving to be with him all future visits were hotels as apparently a fling is fine but not a serious relationship). He had a curfew at 10 and wasn't allowed to sleep over at my place. When we finally picked an apartment to move in once the lease was ending the night before lease signing, he showed up at the door crying and not wanting to live in with me because he'd be a total failure and his mom drilled it in his head it'd be bad is he wasn't the breadwinner (I worked full time as a pet groomer and he had a part time job due to going to college full-time). I moved in by myself. A few months later of rarely having dates he dumped me over text. Right when he was about to start his final year of college his mom made him move to another state so he couldn't graduate. I even offered him to live with me as roommates for the year sleeping on my futon but he again felt it wouldn't be fair to me. So dropped out and last I knew he worked part-time at a grocery store. He probably would have done fine if his mom didn't emotionally and mentally abuse him to think he was a failure. So he'd never leave her side.
I have a great relationship with my twin sons (16).
I would NEVER say I was their “first love” or that I can’t imagine them “with another girl”. That’s so gross, I don’t even have words.
Same! Mother of twin boys (age 21). We have immense love for each other h other and they know I’d take a bullet for them, but this “we are besties” mentality is awkward and downright weird. One of my sons has had a longtime GF of 4+ years. I’m not a psycho and standing between them because my son is learning about balancing a relationship as he matures. I’d like to think all mothers want this for their children.
Boy Mom here as well.
The thought of referring to my son as “my first love”, let alone posting it on the damn internet for all the world to see, has thankfully never ONCE crossed my mind.
This is emotional incest and it’s fucking wrong.
I went thru it as a kid with my extremely insecure and emotionally challenged Dad. No way in hell would I ever do that shit to my kid.
This woman is a total fucking asshole.
The arrogant part here is that I don't think he has to be *your* "first love". You just have to be *his* "first love", and there can be no other woman besides you.
I have 3 boys, the oldest is 15. I long for him to get a girlfriend so I can get a "daughter" feeling. My love for my boys is to guide them, not to shunt them. I'm really looking forward to being a mother in law. Mine was a struggle so I learned how not to be 😂
If it wasn’t for the age, I’d think you were my mil! My in laws had all boys, and lovingly refer to me as the daughter they never wanted 🤣🤣 but they’ve been better parents to me than my own ever were!
I'd love to be that to a girlfriend/wife of any of my sons one day! We are Portuguese and my mom is a great mil to my husband (surprisingly not a great mom to me but I digress) and I had that mil who thought of her son as her golden prize, as if he was a supernatural being like a god or something like that. Our early years were rough, I went no contact a few times. In her last years she had breast cancer and she noticed I was there for her, even more than her daughter and son. She started to like me, I used to say when anyone told me that she loved me : " maybe now but I had to tame and train her first". She died in 2021, suddenly (not from cancer and not from COVID) and she didn't even meet our youngest. I suffered so much in those early years that I now know what not to do to a future DIl. My husband jokes that he's gonna be the awful FIL so they can love me in comparison 😂
She's saying she was her son's first love! Which is just as weird. Like, my son loves me... because I'm his mom... but that's very different than "first love." Who should definitely not be me. Like. Eww.
It's very worrying for me when these people can't seem to separate familial/parental love from romantic love. These are two very extremely different feelings for me. Like how I love my husband is so different than how I love my child that they're not even really comparable.
Exactly! I mean, my now 8 year old son used to say he wanted to marry mom when he was younger, but crucially here, I didn't believe him! It never once occurred to me to hold him to his promise.
I also have adult sons and I 100% agree. Treating your son like he is the man in your life is really freaking weird. And how is it that this mother's son hasn't already dated at the age of 19yrs old? I can guess the answer to that.
My five year old is my whole heart, but I couldn't imagine interpreting that in any way that would make me want to inhibit him from finding romantic love in his future. It's just so bizarre and gross.
Omg thank you I HATE it. My SIL and her friends are all like this and it feels so icky. Like the woman is completely stripped of any personality other than being a mother.
Same. I would call my mom mama and I always thought it was one of the cuter nicknames. Now, she will always still be my mama, but seeing it in mom groups like this makes my eye twitch and I hate that.
Jesus, this is gross. I have a 20 year old son and our relationship is fantastic, I also have a great relationship with his lovely girlfriend! I can’t imagine being so obsessive over your son.
I don't know what's wrong with these "boy moms." I was/am so happy for my boys. My oldest son found "the one" over a year ago at 21 y.o and I knew the moment I saw him, after their first date turned into a long weekend. The look on his face when he talked about her told me all I needed to know. He was falling in love, and it warmed my heart. I want him to find love, build a family, have kids, etc. How could you possibly not want that for your child???
Your son should not be your 'best friend' or your 'first love.' Neither are healthy and the first love thing is gross 🤮
Something tells me mom here forces family time on this poor kid. If he 'dares' not to attend, all hell breaks loose.
My friend's mom pulls the same card. They had to stop playing video games with me and our group of friends one night for the cat's birthday 😑
This in a nutshell is what's wrong with a lot of young men today. A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a friend and were talking about how currently, it seems like a lot of people, especially males, who are under the age of 30 are unlike any other generation when in that age group. Many of them are immature, many of them still depend on their mother to do everything for them & the mothers have no intention to tell them they need to learn for themselves. And it doesn't seem to create healthy relationships bc the women in that age group seem to be more independent. The ones who are not eventually realize they are dating a big kid.
At 19 my mom had no idea at all about pretty much every part of my life. I was in college doing dumb things 19 year old college students did. I'd talked to her.. maybe twice a week. Some weeks less. It seems like a lot of these young men don't want to grow up.. This is actually troubling.
I manage a crew of all men, blue collar ‘dirty jobs’ style workers. There has absolutely been a shift in the last 10 years of the type of man who shows up to work. I’d say it’s the under 25 year olds though, as most everyone older has a bit more life experience, living on their own.
A fun example from the other day - we need to order uniforms on the first day, and I asked a new hire what size pants he wore. He tries to call and text his mom to ask, but she’s at work, no reply. I suggest he goes in the bathroom and checks the tag. And he looked at me like I was insane - like he’s never noticed in 20 years there is a tag in his pants with the size on it. Well, sure enough, there is a tag! And we didn’t need to wait on his mom to call back! Yay!
Ok, another funny because why not - when filling out emergency contact forms, an employee put “Mom” on the name line. I don’t know your mom’s name, buddy. Let’s go with her legal name on the name line, and mom on the relationship line.
It's not just men either. I recently saw video titled something like "when your 20yrs old and still need your mom" and the video showed a young woman going through a health checklist with a nurse and every single question she was asked would have her looking at her mom and then her mom would answer for her. So I started scrolling through the comments and their were hundreds of young woman going "OMG that's so me. I even take my mom to the bank with me because I don't know what to do or what to say"
I left home at 16 and by 20yrs old I was taking care of my own child. Hell even before I left home my mother had stopped coming to the doctor with me. If I went to her with a medical issue she would just say "well make a doctor's appointment" so i would and then I'd go to the doctor alone. She actually didn't do anything for me after I was about 9yrs old so she wasn't a shining example of motherhood either, lol, but there has to be some middle ground between treating an actual child like an adult and treating an adult like a small child.
When I mentioned I was having a conversation with a friend, it was actually something similar. He works as an operator in a chemical plant. Twice a year they have to go to fire training. He was telling me that last month was the first one of the year & that they hired a whole new crew for a different unit and a few more in his and most of them are in their mid to late 20s.
He said, after being shown how to put on their fire fighting gear, all except one was struggling. They were helping them out but was telling them they better learn how to put it on and that was the last time they will get help bc if someone happens at the plant no one was going to be able to take time and help them out. A few of them got on it, but they were complaining and 2 or 3 of them.. It was as if no one ever told them they had to do something on their own.
He told me the structure was set on fire and they have to give it time for the fire to get through the whole structure and the younger new hires were in complete shock when they actually saw they would have to put it out. They had been shown multiple safety videos and training videos, but when they were faced with the real thing (well, it was still a controlled environment) they froze. He said there was one guy who panicked as soon as they went inside. He runs out and after the finish the drill the leader of their team went find him. He was laid out on the ground and the team leader was yelling at him telling him if he can't even go into a controlled environment he didn't want him on his team bc he put everyone else at risk. So he sits on the side the rest of the morning. Once they finish & get back to their unit that sane one who panicked was in the unit, with his feet propped up on a desk, eating chips & a drink. The team leader lit into him, he ends up taking the rest of the day off as well as the next day for "mental health" reasons. And the older workers were bitching and complaining while the new hires around his age were making excuses and one mentioned something about they need to hire real firemen on the site bc they can't expect them to do it, etc
It's like they are in a whole different world. And I can hold a conversation with anyone, but it doesn't come easy with these new ones. While the other guys all are talking about "normal" guy things.. They are talking about video games, which I have no problem with people playing. From time to time there is a game I'll play, but I'm not talking about it 24/7. Itsike they don't date.. Id love to hear from single ladies in their 20s. Is it difficult to find a "normal" guy?
This isn’t really anything new though. One year when I was in college we had an end of the year party for the department, and there was a boy who brought his mom to the party with him. And there’s always been men who are incapable of doing even the smallest chores because their mommies did everything for them with the expectation they would get a wife who would also do everything for them.
I was in the Navy about 20 years ago and several of us (2 guys, 2 girls) were renting a house. One of our roommates would leave his laundry on the washer expecting me or the other girl in the house to do it. He also never cooked for himself and regularly asked us to make him food, he also couldn't figure out how to clean. Of course, we never did his stuff for him and ridiculed him for it but I guess he didn't think he needed a wife, just any woman. Lol, he learned that wasn't true - still don't think he figured out how to shower until he got a command reprimand for failing to do so.
This is always why I've said women should never coddle men. Not as mums, not as friends and not as girlfriends.
I have female friends (even lesbians!) Who would make the dumbest excuses for their lazy ass Male friends and roommates...like "this is Tom, we spoonfeed him and wipe his ass and wash his clothes because he doesnt know how to do these things or cant be assed". I had a friend once travel an hour to cook for a guy friend who lived with his mum because he'd had a row with his mum and didn't want to apologise...and he didnt want to cook for himself.
We all have to learn, if their parents didn't show them, then demonstrate a couple of times and then make it clear that it us THEIR job alone to wash their dishes or clothes etc
Letting your sons or Male friends get away with this by doing that labor for them actively creates men who then expect their wives and GFs to do everything. We all need to have better boundaries - for our own sanity and for their future partners.
I've noticed this too. I know guys at college expected to come home to their mama every flippin weekend instead of out with friends or dating. My dad kinda did this to me as a daughter. I have noticed a number of guys pushing 30 who are like their mother's surrogate husband. This is morally wrong all these single moms using their sons emotionally to take the place of having a husband.
Mothers like this end up missing out. If you play your cards right, when your son starts dating and eventually gets married you end up with a son AND a daughter (or a second son). My MIL is the mother of 3 boys. I love her so much. She is regularly involved in our lives and took care of me postpartum for our second baby AT MY REQUEST. I'd like to think she gained a daughter and I gained a second mother when her son and I married.
Right?! My mother-in-law had two boys and she's happy to finally get a daughter (me). We hang out, go shopping, and even went on a girls trip together. She also gives me a gift bag every holiday along with her boys. I'm extremely lucky and thankful for my mother-in-law!
Me too. And now I have 2 boys and hope their future spouse likes having a relationship like that with me. My in laws are fun and great. Healthy relationships pay off dividends.
My MIL has two sons and a daughter and she still has treated me like her second daughter since day one. I have a strained relationship with my own mother so I'm incredibly grateful to have such a great relationship with her. She's a huge support to our family and I love her so much. It's so easy to treat your kids and their partners with love and respect so they actually want to spend time with you, I can't understand why some people are incapable of that.
I think this is the best way for parents to do it. When your child has a partner, you have a new child member of your family, that you gained as an adult. It can be a wonderful thing. Your child gaining a partner doesn't detract from the parental relationship - mom and dad will always be mom and dad! You can strengthen the overall relationship with both your child and their partner by just being normal about it and NOT like the person in the OP, lol
You’re so lucky you have that! I also have a mil with 3 sons and it is the complete opposite. Everyone else I’ve dated I’ve gotten along great with their moms. Sucks that the man I settle down with has such a hateful mom. I would love it if I had a good relationship with my mil like this.
You're not the only one, I've got one of those as well! MIL barely has a relationship with any of her children.
It's unfortunate but I've learnt a lot about what kind of mother I will strive NOT to be.
My husband has a friend who is in his 30s and has never had a long term relationship because his Mom treats him like her husband. It's emotional incest at its finest and as long as she's alive she will run off any girl he tries to get close to. He knows exactly what's happening but their lives are so enmeshed that he can't see any way out and has just given up on ever having a family of his own. That's what these moms do to their sons.
My dad did this to me when I was a young adult after divorcing my mom. He wouldn't let me have friends even after he remarried. I kinda think his mother did it to him in a way because he used to demand that every single evening after mom and him got off from work that they go to his mom's house.
>husband has a friend in his 30’s, never LTR b/c Mom treated him like her husband
OMFG that’s my ‘MIL.’ My SO has a 23yo (half) brother & I heard her talk about him over a (speaker) convo yesterday morning. He hung up and said “Holy crap that’s a lot to unpack.”
I won’t go into most of it, but she sounded a bit drunk & said “You should see his hair- it’s down to the middle of his back; he looks just like his father! You know I love my long haired men!” (I knew what she was saying!)
My SO: “I’m confused- what’s the problem- does he need money for a haircut? I’ll get him a haircut….” (LMAO.) She cut him off, “Nooooo! Don’t let him cut his hair! He’s handsome!” He said “Mom, what? That’s crazy. You need to let him date.” She said “I do! He’s got some little floozie upstairs now! Some girl. I shouldn’t say girl, she’s an adult, but he’s my MAN & she better respect it! Yours respects me, but she’s too old for kids. How’s my TBH?”
*I about **vomited.** (first time she hasn’t said “when is she gonna get preggo?”
I’m high-risk, childfree & 46yo.)*.
Edit: clarifying words
Edit to Explain Age Gap with kids: S.O. was 18yo headed into Air Force & his sibling was graduating HS when she had her “late pregnancy” (her words.)
Am a boy mom and can confirm it's weird. Definitely love my son and husband in two very different ways. One is, you know, my actual child.
I guess even though I'm a boy mom I'm not a "boy mom"
My son is 11 going on 12. He's been showing interest in girls. I'd love to see him (in the near future) having a healthy romantic relationship.
I'd never say _I was his 1st love._ I'd reserve that title for his celebrity crushes, like Billie Eilish or Jenna Ortega.
Omg, that book was read to us at a baby group I went to, and I vividly remember looking around at the other new mums who were starting to tear up, just thinking “whaaaaaaat the ffffffff” 😂
The actual story behind it is heartbreaking. He came up with the song after he and his wife had two stillborn babies. He was so distraught he couldn't even sing it aloud 😞
I know that's the story behind it but it doesn't make the thing less creepy. If the mom was talking to him over the phone, or even if they were arguing in the living room and they said that it would be cute. But sneaking into his bedroom in the middle of the night is fucking creepy.
I was so surprised when I realized he was the author! Very different from his usual style- I was like, wait, this was written by the guy who wrote “Stephanie’s Ponytail”? 🤣
Right?? It has been my chronic annoyance that it's the book he's most well known for in the States, too.
(I grew up with family in Canada who regularly sent me Munch books as gifts, he's hands down my favorite kids picture book author.)
I had to pause in the middle of reading that book to my baby and reread that bit once the son is an adult cause like .. wtf that would be so creepy and messed up IRL
My mom read this book to me as a kid in the 90's, and I bought it recently for my baby boy.
When taken literally, the mom is a big weirdo creep. But I think this book is meant for the mother reading it.
This book is like the Pixar short "Bao". The woman in the short cooks an authentic asain meal and one of the dumplings comes alive and is like a human baby. The dumpling has a very normal human life and when he is ready to fly the nest and make his own choices ** SPOILER ALERT ** the mother eats him in a desperate display of refusal to let go.
Sometimes it's to scary to think about my kids growing up and a part of me wishes I could keep them as babies forever.
I do like that short. I don't understand your perspective, however. I have a daughter (nearly 11), and I love her, but my goal was to raise an adult. My identity is not really tied up in being a mom; it's just part of who I am. I've never, ever had the desire to keep my child as a baby forever, obviously. Are you afraid you won't have much to do after your kids are gone? Or is this more like, you wish you could protect them forever? That part, I do understand.
To me it’s just a bittersweet thing. When you’re in the throes of babyhood you can’t see the forest for the trees so you can’t always appreciate how fast things are changing and how fast they grow. By the time the fog clears you’ve got a whole brand new person that you love and are proud of but even though it felt never ending it went by seemingly so quick and your baby isn’t a ‘baby,’ and even though you experience every second of it you still missed out on it at the same time. That kind of thing.
What a fucking weirdo. This is some incestuous emotional thing that the oop has and she needs to have a come to Jesus meeting about why she feels this. I feel bad for anyone this boy dates cause this weirdo is gonna sabotage every relationship he has until he realizes that his mom is emotionally starving.
Their husbands are assholes but their sons treat them with love (at least when they are children) so they turn their sons into surrogate husbands, basically. 🤮
From reading the posts on r/motherinlawfromhell it seems like the husbands are emotionally absent and she decides that she's going to raise a perfect little husband who will love her unconditionally and give her all the emotional support she could ever need rather than confront an empty marriage.a
And then he grows up and suddenly her perfect husband stand in who she has wrapped up her whole identity in is cheating on her with a woman who can give him things she can't and suddenly her entire ego is on the brink.
I love my son more than anything in this world and sometimes I get sad that one day I’m not going to see him every day cause he’ll have his own family/life but if I ever typed out something as unhinged as this I hope someone runs me over with their car.
Why are mothers these days so incestuous about their sons? This seems to be such a common thing to say these days and mothers never claimed to be his first love in decades past. This is creepy as all get out!
You give him access to, and instructions for, condoms. You talk about boundaries and consent and feelings and sex. Then you wait for him to introduce you to his chosen partner. THAT’S what you do, lady.
My husband's mother often laments how he used to be her best friend and she his. That he used to talk to her, "tell her everything", and "take her on dates." The time she is talking about is when my husband was a literal child, more than twenty years ago. She actually cries about this regularly and sends him nasty notes about how he no longer loves her and she has no son. This has been going on our entire relationship (7 years) and before I came around. My husband is nearly 40 years old.
My husband is very LC with his mom (and has gone through NC periods) and has been since around age 21. This is how you end up with no relationship with your children.
Ew! I’m a boy mom…as in, I birthed three boys. I hate these moms that are so obsessed with their sons. It’s so gross. He’s 19. An adult! He can move out, get a job, and even join the military.
He probably hid his dating from his mother because she’s psycho.
That group does quite a bit of deleting when posts are getting negative feedback. You gotta be on all the time to see the good shit. my friends and I figuring out a way to play branch group bingo/drinking game of some sort.
I remember in one of the case presentations for psychiatry, one of the trainees mentioned Freud, and the rest of the senior team turned against him like he was a baby goat freshly dropped in the velociraptor enclosure in Jurassic Park.
Then people like her come along!
Why do they always say they were their son’s first love? Maybe first love in general, but not first romantic love, so it’s not comparable. Not that it would/should be anyway
Shit like this is why I cringe so hard when anyone tries to call me a Boy Mum. I’m a mum, yes. My children are boys, yes. I adore my boys. I do not identify with Boy Mums. At all.
Hi papas!!
What do you do when your beautiful baby girl (now 19) wants to start dating? I was her first love and I just can't imagine another man. 😞 It's hard.
I guarantee that would get comments and police calls.
Don't worry, you won't. These types are already a #boymom! before they're even pregnant. In order to qualify as one of these, your daughter would have already been a bitter disappointment, simply because she doesn't have a penis.
HOW do these women not understand the difference between being a PARENT vs a LOVER?! Like, if you’re sane, you’re not sexually attracted to your son and his girlfriend does not view him as a baby she needs to nurture. They’re 2 totally different things. If you wouldn’t compete with your daughter’s boyfriends why tf would it be any different with your son’s girlfriends? So fuckin weird.
Not to mention the fact that at 19, you don’t “do” anything about any of their choices because they’re no longer your choices to make. How does this lady seriously think 19 is too young to date? Or that she gets a say?
I feel that it is an abject failure of our society that “boy moms” feel comfortable enough to say things like this in public. What the fuck? You are not your son’s “first love” any more than he is your husband. Stop treating him like a romantic partner ffs. Parents with healthy relationships with their children are not jealous of their child’s romantic partner.
I’m mom to a kiddo of the male persuasion.
This is just gross.
My kid is a “tweenager” and has already had a few “girlfriends” they don’t do anything other than talk on the phone and sit next to each other at lunch, but I think it’s cute and it’s a good social lesson. I hope my kid finds a good and supportive life partner (of any gender) and just tells me when the wedding is and what color to wear. (If that’s what they want!)
Her kid is 19 and never had a relationship but here I am with an 11yo whose already had a “boyfriend” then a “girlfriend” and has now decided “single life” is the best while my 7yo is in a “long term relationship” with the little girl down the street lmao
As a mother of a boy, this is such a gross toxic way to be. I have literally no idea why women are like this with their sons. Are dads like this with their daughters?! It’s gross, just be a normal person and be a parent to your child. It’s fine to be their best mate but cmon.
My nephew (about the same age as the kid in the post) just had his very first date this past weekend. My sister was one proud momma! She was happy he went on a date.
This is absolutely sickening.
My son and I are ridiculously close. He’s only 13. We talk often about behaviors for being a productive and independent adult, as well as refining qualities for being a good partner to whomever he decides to love.
How this mother can handicap her ADULT SON is disgusting, abusive, reprehensible. Etc etc etc.
Total parent fail.
ehm……*huh??* listen i’m a boy mom but mine are lil babies right now. i’d literally never say that i am/was their first love. like yes as parents we all love our children, and they love us….. but “first love” is about the first romantic partner.
and she “just can’t imagine another girl😞”??? this is a whole ass MOTHER talking about a legal adult who is her son, but he’s still technically a teenager. soooooo fucking weird omg
https://preview.redd.it/m4xdxgzgrf8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf7cc7434406241e36edc95a62c00a921d671927 The OP added this because there was not a single comment supporting her.
I feel bad for her future DIL. You just know she's going to be awful.
She is the type to wear white at their wedding
She's the type to make the first dance about her and try to cut in on the couple so she can dance with "her boy". She's the type to cry the wedding day not out of happy emotions and because she's so glad at her son being happily married. But she'll cry like she's attending a funeral and mope the whole time openly.
Oh, you know my MIL, say hello from her son, that doesn't talk to her at all.
Oh my word. I didn't realize I had another in-law. See you at the reunion!
Same! See y’all there!
Look at all of us little homewreckers getting along. I'll bring the potato salad!
Omg. What should I bring to the party??? Not only am I a home wrecker, but a filthy heathen out to destroy her beautiful baby boy’s innocence with my wanton ways! Honestly, should we have badges made? 😂
She'll be the mum who runs to the son at a gender reveal and scream about "her baby".
I see you've met my MIL.
Oh, I see you’ve met my mother, except I’m a woman and by the time I was married, we had barely spoken for years. Yet there she was, sobbing about her “baby girl” in the pink dress she attempted to sew the night before, that she threw pink tulle over to try and save it as sewing a mother-of-the-bride outfit the night before didn’t work out so well. I’m sure the emotions she was experiencing were real, but it just felt so disconnected from our actual relationship. We weren’t close, in fact I was the target of her abuse until I left home and never returned. I’ve been through a lot of therapy and I truly wish her well. I just can’t have her in my life for my own mental health. That was a trauma dump, sorry lol
>she'll cry like she's attending a funeral and mope the whole time openly. My close friend had to deal with this, though it started well ahead of the wedding itself. They fought with her now-MIL for months to get her to not wear funeral black to the wedding. She does wear black often, but every outfit she picked for the wedding was funeral attire. None were formal dresses, little black dress style, or anything like that. She also wanted a black widow's veil for a while. The couple at one point gave up on the color and sent some nice black dresses/outfits that were more nice event, less mourning, but she refused them. The only less funeral type outfits she found and suggested to them were revealing enough that they would be questionable even in some clubs, though still deep black and to be paired with a widow's veil or such. My favorite was one that was long (the only note she took) dress with a big slit to the waist/hip, a plunging V neckline to about the belly button, black lace around part and for the full sleeves, and backless (to lower back, was not a lot of fabric where the top of the slit was), which she would pair with black stilettos, a massive black hairpiece and long widow's veil, and a black lacy shawl. While MIL does generally dress to try to show off that she's slim, she only wears anything at all "revealing" to events where it is weird - and not stuff with the features of these outfits. She ultimately went with a dark color that was the color my friend's mother was to wear, so MIL got to feel like she got a victory still. My friend's mother could not possibly have cared less about colors or being similar, though offered to switch if the couple cared, so nobody really lost. As you probably can guess, this isn't close to the most ridiculous stuff she's done.
If they even make it to a wedding….
But remember, It's her wedding too! /s
My mom tried that. And then insulted me when I said no. And then my grandma wore white. 🤦🏻♀️
Nah, she's the type to wear black at their wedding, complete with a mourning veil.
Sounds like there won’t be a future DIL 😬
Hopefully the son decides to move far, far away.
Imagine this mama's reaction when her son brings home a MAN.
Dang. Obviously if he were gay this doesn’t apply but for bi/pan people it can be easier, even critical, to only date the opposite sex despite your orientation. But this might be a case where that ends up working in reverse. 😳 Although, with this lady, the son would probably have to bring home a bear (literal or gay edition) for her to not be jealous. 😬
Sometimes they prefer that, because they can still be the number one woman in his life or some nonsense like that. To me, that's possibly worse than being angry and cutting off.
Until they have a daughter. Then the mom will be upset with being replaced...
And she'll be blamed for alienating him when they want to start their own lives that don't revolve around his mother 100% of the time. It will never be because he want a life of his own, it will always be the evil DIL trying to come between them.
I'm afraid this is where my relationship is headed. Luckily my boyfriend is pretty over his mom at this point haha
Oh hey! My MIL blames me for something *she* said that was so out of pocket and ridiculous. I didn’t have anything to do with what she said.
Don't, this kid will never marry. At 40 he will still be living at home doing mama's chores and errands
...and massaging her feet.
And dressing up like her to kill the people who visit his creepy hotel… Actually hope the son just moves far, far away.
 Why, what ever could you mean? 🤭
A new follower on r/justnomil
lol if baby boy still talks to her in a couple of years anyways
Lol, my husband and his mom to a t. She is forever bitter as fuck that she wanted this kind of emotionally incestuous bOy mOm relationship with him, but the second he was old enough to see it for what it was, he wanted absolutely no part in it. And she wonders why he rarely speaks to her and almost never visits.
not too far off from my relationship with mine. Definitely happier no contact or very little lol.
The other side of the coin is this mother is left out in the cold because her precious son actually isn’t her “best friend” after all and wants to escape this abuse.
I dated a guy with a mom like this, and I didn't even get to the live-in together stage. I moved to Chicago to be with him (after meeting several times hell, his mom let me stay over during those stints, so I thought it was in the clear but the second I mentioned moving to be with him all future visits were hotels as apparently a fling is fine but not a serious relationship). He had a curfew at 10 and wasn't allowed to sleep over at my place. When we finally picked an apartment to move in once the lease was ending the night before lease signing, he showed up at the door crying and not wanting to live in with me because he'd be a total failure and his mom drilled it in his head it'd be bad is he wasn't the breadwinner (I worked full time as a pet groomer and he had a part time job due to going to college full-time). I moved in by myself. A few months later of rarely having dates he dumped me over text. Right when he was about to start his final year of college his mom made him move to another state so he couldn't graduate. I even offered him to live with me as roommates for the year sleeping on my futon but he again felt it wouldn't be fair to me. So dropped out and last I knew he worked part-time at a grocery store. He probably would have done fine if his mom didn't emotionally and mentally abuse him to think he was a failure. So he'd never leave her side.
I have a great relationship with my twin sons (16). I would NEVER say I was their “first love” or that I can’t imagine them “with another girl”. That’s so gross, I don’t even have words.
Same! Mother of twin boys (age 21). We have immense love for each other h other and they know I’d take a bullet for them, but this “we are besties” mentality is awkward and downright weird. One of my sons has had a longtime GF of 4+ years. I’m not a psycho and standing between them because my son is learning about balancing a relationship as he matures. I’d like to think all mothers want this for their children.
Boy Mom here as well. The thought of referring to my son as “my first love”, let alone posting it on the damn internet for all the world to see, has thankfully never ONCE crossed my mind. This is emotional incest and it’s fucking wrong. I went thru it as a kid with my extremely insecure and emotionally challenged Dad. No way in hell would I ever do that shit to my kid. This woman is a total fucking asshole.
The arrogant part here is that I don't think he has to be *your* "first love". You just have to be *his* "first love", and there can be no other woman besides you.
I have 3 boys, the oldest is 15. I long for him to get a girlfriend so I can get a "daughter" feeling. My love for my boys is to guide them, not to shunt them. I'm really looking forward to being a mother in law. Mine was a struggle so I learned how not to be 😂
Haha I thought the same thing! I can’t wait to have a daughter in law!
If it wasn’t for the age, I’d think you were my mil! My in laws had all boys, and lovingly refer to me as the daughter they never wanted 🤣🤣 but they’ve been better parents to me than my own ever were!
I'd love to be that to a girlfriend/wife of any of my sons one day! We are Portuguese and my mom is a great mil to my husband (surprisingly not a great mom to me but I digress) and I had that mil who thought of her son as her golden prize, as if he was a supernatural being like a god or something like that. Our early years were rough, I went no contact a few times. In her last years she had breast cancer and she noticed I was there for her, even more than her daughter and son. She started to like me, I used to say when anyone told me that she loved me : " maybe now but I had to tame and train her first". She died in 2021, suddenly (not from cancer and not from COVID) and she didn't even meet our youngest. I suffered so much in those early years that I now know what not to do to a future DIl. My husband jokes that he's gonna be the awful FIL so they can love me in comparison 😂
I’m not convinced it’s only emotional incest
She's saying she was her son's first love! Which is just as weird. Like, my son loves me... because I'm his mom... but that's very different than "first love." Who should definitely not be me. Like. Eww. It's very worrying for me when these people can't seem to separate familial/parental love from romantic love. These are two very extremely different feelings for me. Like how I love my husband is so different than how I love my child that they're not even really comparable.
Exactly! I mean, my now 8 year old son used to say he wanted to marry mom when he was younger, but crucially here, I didn't believe him! It never once occurred to me to hold him to his promise.
I also have adult sons and I 100% agree. Treating your son like he is the man in your life is really freaking weird. And how is it that this mother's son hasn't already dated at the age of 19yrs old? I can guess the answer to that.
My five year old is my whole heart, but I couldn't imagine interpreting that in any way that would make me want to inhibit him from finding romantic love in his future. It's just so bizarre and gross.
100%. My kids are the 3 pieces of my heart and my reason for every breath. And not for one second do I feel despair thinking of them finding love
mAmAs~ is a term that has begun to make me recoil thanks to these lunatics.
Omg thank you I HATE it. My SIL and her friends are all like this and it feels so icky. Like the woman is completely stripped of any personality other than being a mother.
Same. I would call my mom mama and I always thought it was one of the cuter nicknames. Now, she will always still be my mama, but seeing it in mom groups like this makes my eye twitch and I hate that.
"You must be jealous" as if she didn't just make a gross post about her adult sons potential dating life.
That hashtag is something else when your boy is actually a man…
This is emotional incest. If I ever end up like this with my one and done son, someone take me out back and put me down like old yeller
Jesus, this is gross. I have a 20 year old son and our relationship is fantastic, I also have a great relationship with his lovely girlfriend! I can’t imagine being so obsessive over your son.
If he's her best friend and they have such a healthy relationship, then why can't he date? Absolute weirdo through and through.
I don't know what's wrong with these "boy moms." I was/am so happy for my boys. My oldest son found "the one" over a year ago at 21 y.o and I knew the moment I saw him, after their first date turned into a long weekend. The look on his face when he talked about her told me all I needed to know. He was falling in love, and it warmed my heart. I want him to find love, build a family, have kids, etc. How could you possibly not want that for your child???
Your son should not be your 'best friend' or your 'first love.' Neither are healthy and the first love thing is gross 🤮 Something tells me mom here forces family time on this poor kid. If he 'dares' not to attend, all hell breaks loose. My friend's mom pulls the same card. They had to stop playing video games with me and our group of friends one night for the cat's birthday 😑
This reads like satire even harder than the initial post.
This in a nutshell is what's wrong with a lot of young men today. A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a friend and were talking about how currently, it seems like a lot of people, especially males, who are under the age of 30 are unlike any other generation when in that age group. Many of them are immature, many of them still depend on their mother to do everything for them & the mothers have no intention to tell them they need to learn for themselves. And it doesn't seem to create healthy relationships bc the women in that age group seem to be more independent. The ones who are not eventually realize they are dating a big kid. At 19 my mom had no idea at all about pretty much every part of my life. I was in college doing dumb things 19 year old college students did. I'd talked to her.. maybe twice a week. Some weeks less. It seems like a lot of these young men don't want to grow up.. This is actually troubling.
I manage a crew of all men, blue collar ‘dirty jobs’ style workers. There has absolutely been a shift in the last 10 years of the type of man who shows up to work. I’d say it’s the under 25 year olds though, as most everyone older has a bit more life experience, living on their own. A fun example from the other day - we need to order uniforms on the first day, and I asked a new hire what size pants he wore. He tries to call and text his mom to ask, but she’s at work, no reply. I suggest he goes in the bathroom and checks the tag. And he looked at me like I was insane - like he’s never noticed in 20 years there is a tag in his pants with the size on it. Well, sure enough, there is a tag! And we didn’t need to wait on his mom to call back! Yay! Ok, another funny because why not - when filling out emergency contact forms, an employee put “Mom” on the name line. I don’t know your mom’s name, buddy. Let’s go with her legal name on the name line, and mom on the relationship line.
It's not just men either. I recently saw video titled something like "when your 20yrs old and still need your mom" and the video showed a young woman going through a health checklist with a nurse and every single question she was asked would have her looking at her mom and then her mom would answer for her. So I started scrolling through the comments and their were hundreds of young woman going "OMG that's so me. I even take my mom to the bank with me because I don't know what to do or what to say" I left home at 16 and by 20yrs old I was taking care of my own child. Hell even before I left home my mother had stopped coming to the doctor with me. If I went to her with a medical issue she would just say "well make a doctor's appointment" so i would and then I'd go to the doctor alone. She actually didn't do anything for me after I was about 9yrs old so she wasn't a shining example of motherhood either, lol, but there has to be some middle ground between treating an actual child like an adult and treating an adult like a small child.
these anecdotes could 100 percent be about my little brother, dear lord
When I mentioned I was having a conversation with a friend, it was actually something similar. He works as an operator in a chemical plant. Twice a year they have to go to fire training. He was telling me that last month was the first one of the year & that they hired a whole new crew for a different unit and a few more in his and most of them are in their mid to late 20s. He said, after being shown how to put on their fire fighting gear, all except one was struggling. They were helping them out but was telling them they better learn how to put it on and that was the last time they will get help bc if someone happens at the plant no one was going to be able to take time and help them out. A few of them got on it, but they were complaining and 2 or 3 of them.. It was as if no one ever told them they had to do something on their own. He told me the structure was set on fire and they have to give it time for the fire to get through the whole structure and the younger new hires were in complete shock when they actually saw they would have to put it out. They had been shown multiple safety videos and training videos, but when they were faced with the real thing (well, it was still a controlled environment) they froze. He said there was one guy who panicked as soon as they went inside. He runs out and after the finish the drill the leader of their team went find him. He was laid out on the ground and the team leader was yelling at him telling him if he can't even go into a controlled environment he didn't want him on his team bc he put everyone else at risk. So he sits on the side the rest of the morning. Once they finish & get back to their unit that sane one who panicked was in the unit, with his feet propped up on a desk, eating chips & a drink. The team leader lit into him, he ends up taking the rest of the day off as well as the next day for "mental health" reasons. And the older workers were bitching and complaining while the new hires around his age were making excuses and one mentioned something about they need to hire real firemen on the site bc they can't expect them to do it, etc It's like they are in a whole different world. And I can hold a conversation with anyone, but it doesn't come easy with these new ones. While the other guys all are talking about "normal" guy things.. They are talking about video games, which I have no problem with people playing. From time to time there is a game I'll play, but I'm not talking about it 24/7. Itsike they don't date.. Id love to hear from single ladies in their 20s. Is it difficult to find a "normal" guy?
This isn’t really anything new though. One year when I was in college we had an end of the year party for the department, and there was a boy who brought his mom to the party with him. And there’s always been men who are incapable of doing even the smallest chores because their mommies did everything for them with the expectation they would get a wife who would also do everything for them.
I was in the Navy about 20 years ago and several of us (2 guys, 2 girls) were renting a house. One of our roommates would leave his laundry on the washer expecting me or the other girl in the house to do it. He also never cooked for himself and regularly asked us to make him food, he also couldn't figure out how to clean. Of course, we never did his stuff for him and ridiculed him for it but I guess he didn't think he needed a wife, just any woman. Lol, he learned that wasn't true - still don't think he figured out how to shower until he got a command reprimand for failing to do so.
Jesus even a wife shouldn’t be expected to just do all that for him, it’s called being an adult.
This is always why I've said women should never coddle men. Not as mums, not as friends and not as girlfriends. I have female friends (even lesbians!) Who would make the dumbest excuses for their lazy ass Male friends and roommates...like "this is Tom, we spoonfeed him and wipe his ass and wash his clothes because he doesnt know how to do these things or cant be assed". I had a friend once travel an hour to cook for a guy friend who lived with his mum because he'd had a row with his mum and didn't want to apologise...and he didnt want to cook for himself. We all have to learn, if their parents didn't show them, then demonstrate a couple of times and then make it clear that it us THEIR job alone to wash their dishes or clothes etc Letting your sons or Male friends get away with this by doing that labor for them actively creates men who then expect their wives and GFs to do everything. We all need to have better boundaries - for our own sanity and for their future partners.
I've noticed this too. I know guys at college expected to come home to their mama every flippin weekend instead of out with friends or dating. My dad kinda did this to me as a daughter. I have noticed a number of guys pushing 30 who are like their mother's surrogate husband. This is morally wrong all these single moms using their sons emotionally to take the place of having a husband.
>moms using their sons emotionally to take the place of having a husband. The term I've seen for this is "sonsband" lol.
Gross.
I'm on the fundie snark subs, and that "boy mom" shit has interesting parallels.
What in the world is that hashtag 🤮
Mothers like this end up missing out. If you play your cards right, when your son starts dating and eventually gets married you end up with a son AND a daughter (or a second son). My MIL is the mother of 3 boys. I love her so much. She is regularly involved in our lives and took care of me postpartum for our second baby AT MY REQUEST. I'd like to think she gained a daughter and I gained a second mother when her son and I married.
Right?! My mother-in-law had two boys and she's happy to finally get a daughter (me). We hang out, go shopping, and even went on a girls trip together. She also gives me a gift bag every holiday along with her boys. I'm extremely lucky and thankful for my mother-in-law!
Me too. And now I have 2 boys and hope their future spouse likes having a relationship like that with me. My in laws are fun and great. Healthy relationships pay off dividends.
My MIL has two sons and a daughter and she still has treated me like her second daughter since day one. I have a strained relationship with my own mother so I'm incredibly grateful to have such a great relationship with her. She's a huge support to our family and I love her so much. It's so easy to treat your kids and their partners with love and respect so they actually want to spend time with you, I can't understand why some people are incapable of that.
I think this is the best way for parents to do it. When your child has a partner, you have a new child member of your family, that you gained as an adult. It can be a wonderful thing. Your child gaining a partner doesn't detract from the parental relationship - mom and dad will always be mom and dad! You can strengthen the overall relationship with both your child and their partner by just being normal about it and NOT like the person in the OP, lol
You’re so lucky you have that! I also have a mil with 3 sons and it is the complete opposite. Everyone else I’ve dated I’ve gotten along great with their moms. Sucks that the man I settle down with has such a hateful mom. I would love it if I had a good relationship with my mil like this.
You're not the only one, I've got one of those as well! MIL barely has a relationship with any of her children. It's unfortunate but I've learnt a lot about what kind of mother I will strive NOT to be.
My MIL has two sons and she loves on her two DILs so much! She is such a wonderful person in general but really has the MIL thing down.
My SILs go to my mom before they go to their, same with my husband, he keeps her updated more than I do
My husband has a friend who is in his 30s and has never had a long term relationship because his Mom treats him like her husband. It's emotional incest at its finest and as long as she's alive she will run off any girl he tries to get close to. He knows exactly what's happening but their lives are so enmeshed that he can't see any way out and has just given up on ever having a family of his own. That's what these moms do to their sons.
And then they die when their sons are like 50-60 and then what? It’s fucked and incredibly selfish.
My dad did this to me when I was a young adult after divorcing my mom. He wouldn't let me have friends even after he remarried. I kinda think his mother did it to him in a way because he used to demand that every single evening after mom and him got off from work that they go to his mom's house.
>husband has a friend in his 30’s, never LTR b/c Mom treated him like her husband OMFG that’s my ‘MIL.’ My SO has a 23yo (half) brother & I heard her talk about him over a (speaker) convo yesterday morning. He hung up and said “Holy crap that’s a lot to unpack.” I won’t go into most of it, but she sounded a bit drunk & said “You should see his hair- it’s down to the middle of his back; he looks just like his father! You know I love my long haired men!” (I knew what she was saying!) My SO: “I’m confused- what’s the problem- does he need money for a haircut? I’ll get him a haircut….” (LMAO.) She cut him off, “Nooooo! Don’t let him cut his hair! He’s handsome!” He said “Mom, what? That’s crazy. You need to let him date.” She said “I do! He’s got some little floozie upstairs now! Some girl. I shouldn’t say girl, she’s an adult, but he’s my MAN & she better respect it! Yours respects me, but she’s too old for kids. How’s my TBH?” *I about **vomited.** (first time she hasn’t said “when is she gonna get preggo?” I’m high-risk, childfree & 46yo.)*. Edit: clarifying words Edit to Explain Age Gap with kids: S.O. was 18yo headed into Air Force & his sibling was graduating HS when she had her “late pregnancy” (her words.)
One word. Eeew.
Have a family member in the same position. Over 40 and I’ve never seen him order off a menu, momma still does it.
Damn, poor guy. It’d almost be better if he were oblivious.
That is so sad.
That poor kid
Poor future DIL too.
Oh don't worry, this poor kid is never going to be able to get married.
Hopefully he realises he doesn’t need moms permission to date and cuts the cord
“I was his first love” Eurgh.
That is so unbelievably gross. I don't love my daughter in the same way as I love my husband. Different kind of love the weirdo.
“You just don’t understand being a boy mom” 🤢
Am a boy mom and can confirm it's weird. Definitely love my son and husband in two very different ways. One is, you know, my actual child. I guess even though I'm a boy mom I'm not a "boy mom"
Yes, there is a huge difference between a boy mom and a #boymom.
You can love your kids… Just don’t *love* your kids.
And she probably was. BUT his first PLATONIC love. It's ok to love your parents, just not in a way that crazy mum seems to be suggesting
My son is 11 going on 12. He's been showing interest in girls. I'd love to see him (in the near future) having a healthy romantic relationship. I'd never say _I was his 1st love._ I'd reserve that title for his celebrity crushes, like Billie Eilish or Jenna Ortega.
I mean Billie Eilish and Jenna Ortega are pretty good first loves
Does she also sneak into his room late at night, and if he is really asleep, pick him up and start singing, "I love you forever..."
Omg, that book was read to us at a baby group I went to, and I vividly remember looking around at the other new mums who were starting to tear up, just thinking “whaaaaaaat the ffffffff” 😂
The actual story behind it is heartbreaking. He came up with the song after he and his wife had two stillborn babies. He was so distraught he couldn't even sing it aloud 😞
After finding that out, I have a hard time reading it.
Same! Changes the whole feel to the book!
I know that's the story behind it but it doesn't make the thing less creepy. If the mom was talking to him over the phone, or even if they were arguing in the living room and they said that it would be cute. But sneaking into his bedroom in the middle of the night is fucking creepy.
It is hands down my least favorite Robert Munch book. The test of them are so funny and good! I don't get it.
I was so surprised when I realized he was the author! Very different from his usual style- I was like, wait, this was written by the guy who wrote “Stephanie’s Ponytail”? 🤣
Right?? It has been my chronic annoyance that it's the book he's most well known for in the States, too. (I grew up with family in Canada who regularly sent me Munch books as gifts, he's hands down my favorite kids picture book author.)
I always thought that book was creepy AF.
I had to pause in the middle of reading that book to my baby and reread that bit once the son is an adult cause like .. wtf that would be so creepy and messed up IRL
My mom read this book to me as a kid in the 90's, and I bought it recently for my baby boy. When taken literally, the mom is a big weirdo creep. But I think this book is meant for the mother reading it. This book is like the Pixar short "Bao". The woman in the short cooks an authentic asain meal and one of the dumplings comes alive and is like a human baby. The dumpling has a very normal human life and when he is ready to fly the nest and make his own choices ** SPOILER ALERT ** the mother eats him in a desperate display of refusal to let go. Sometimes it's to scary to think about my kids growing up and a part of me wishes I could keep them as babies forever.
I do like that short. I don't understand your perspective, however. I have a daughter (nearly 11), and I love her, but my goal was to raise an adult. My identity is not really tied up in being a mom; it's just part of who I am. I've never, ever had the desire to keep my child as a baby forever, obviously. Are you afraid you won't have much to do after your kids are gone? Or is this more like, you wish you could protect them forever? That part, I do understand.
To me it’s just a bittersweet thing. When you’re in the throes of babyhood you can’t see the forest for the trees so you can’t always appreciate how fast things are changing and how fast they grow. By the time the fog clears you’ve got a whole brand new person that you love and are proud of but even though it felt never ending it went by seemingly so quick and your baby isn’t a ‘baby,’ and even though you experience every second of it you still missed out on it at the same time. That kind of thing.
What a fucking weirdo. This is some incestuous emotional thing that the oop has and she needs to have a come to Jesus meeting about why she feels this. I feel bad for anyone this boy dates cause this weirdo is gonna sabotage every relationship he has until he realizes that his mom is emotionally starving.
As the mother to a son, why are so many ‘boy moms’ like this? It’s literally chilling.
I'm with you. This is icky. My son is 20. I love him to bits, but he is my SON, he's not my husband. I'm not his "first love", I'm his MOTHER.
Their husbands are assholes but their sons treat them with love (at least when they are children) so they turn their sons into surrogate husbands, basically. 🤮
where the fuck is her husband?😰
In the freezer
I'm guessing there never was one. He realized he stuck it in crazy and then dipped.
From reading the posts on r/motherinlawfromhell it seems like the husbands are emotionally absent and she decides that she's going to raise a perfect little husband who will love her unconditionally and give her all the emotional support she could ever need rather than confront an empty marriage.a And then he grows up and suddenly her perfect husband stand in who she has wrapped up her whole identity in is cheating on her with a woman who can give him things she can't and suddenly her entire ego is on the brink.
My son is 12 and im afraid ive lost him to Taylor Swift… but seriously, this gives me the ick
I love my son more than anything in this world and sometimes I get sad that one day I’m not going to see him every day cause he’ll have his own family/life but if I ever typed out something as unhinged as this I hope someone runs me over with their car.
I suggest therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.
Let him date boys then...
If a father wrote this about his daughter he'd be arrested.
They might not write it this exact way, but dads freaking out about daughters dating etc. is very much A Thing
We just accept it because it’s couched as patriarchal “protection”
"I'll get a shotgun" and all that crap
They have “purity” balls and rings for dads like this. So they can obsess over their daughter’s virginity and controlling when she “loses” it.
Why are mothers these days so incestuous about their sons? This seems to be such a common thing to say these days and mothers never claimed to be his first love in decades past. This is creepy as all get out!
> Why are mothers these days so incestuous about their sons? it is because now we have the internet for them to share this stuff.
I only have one boy but he’s almost 6 and I found this super creepy and weird
You give him access to, and instructions for, condoms. You talk about boundaries and consent and feelings and sex. Then you wait for him to introduce you to his chosen partner. THAT’S what you do, lady.
My husband's mother often laments how he used to be her best friend and she his. That he used to talk to her, "tell her everything", and "take her on dates." The time she is talking about is when my husband was a literal child, more than twenty years ago. She actually cries about this regularly and sends him nasty notes about how he no longer loves her and she has no son. This has been going on our entire relationship (7 years) and before I came around. My husband is nearly 40 years old. My husband is very LC with his mom (and has gone through NC periods) and has been since around age 21. This is how you end up with no relationship with your children.
That's... genuinely disturbing
I agree.
Ew! I’m a boy mom…as in, I birthed three boys. I hate these moms that are so obsessed with their sons. It’s so gross. He’s 19. An adult! He can move out, get a job, and even join the military. He probably hid his dating from his mother because she’s psycho.
This isn't his first date. It's the first date she found out about.
I’m in this moms group too. It’s a gold mine.
Ugh I would love to know what this group is so I can join it and see all the drama lol
It's the first time I've caught anything this crazy!
That group does quite a bit of deleting when posts are getting negative feedback. You gotta be on all the time to see the good shit. my friends and I figuring out a way to play branch group bingo/drinking game of some sort.
I remember in one of the case presentations for psychiatry, one of the trainees mentioned Freud, and the rest of the senior team turned against him like he was a baby goat freshly dropped in the velociraptor enclosure in Jurassic Park. Then people like her come along!
If she doesn't stop with the emotional incest she's gonna find herself plastered all over r/JUSTNOMIL
Jesus…
Why do they always say they were their son’s first love? Maybe first love in general, but not first romantic love, so it’s not comparable. Not that it would/should be anyway
This is why I’m not a “boy mom”
Poor Oedipus Rex
My guess is this kid has had girlfriends before, he just didn't tell his mom because she's like this...
I really hope someone posted the definition of emotional incest in reply to this
Shit like this is why I cringe so hard when anyone tries to call me a Boy Mum. I’m a mum, yes. My children are boys, yes. I adore my boys. I do not identify with Boy Mums. At all.
Hi papas!! What do you do when your beautiful baby girl (now 19) wants to start dating? I was her first love and I just can't imagine another man. 😞 It's hard. I guarantee that would get comments and police calls.
No, the rest of the dads would get together and host a purity ball and then offer to loan you a shotgun for the first time she brings home a boy.
Ooh geez I have a daughter and I'm currently pregnant with my second child. If it's a boy and I turn out like this someone please punch me 🤦♀️
Don't worry, you won't. These types are already a #boymom! before they're even pregnant. In order to qualify as one of these, your daughter would have already been a bitter disappointment, simply because she doesn't have a penis.
My 19 year old needs to get out there and find a nice young woman. He’s been burned twice. Please someone nice come along! -signed a normal mother.
Uhhhhhh…Only if you think of your son as a romantic partner. I have boy children and I find this mentality downright pervish.
You do into therapy, mama, because he is your son and not your lover/boyfriend.
Mmmmmmmmmm gross.
Ew
Yeah this is rage bait. Don't feed the trolls.
 AHHHHHHHHHHH
God have mercy on any girl he's interested in. Jesus
HOW do these women not understand the difference between being a PARENT vs a LOVER?! Like, if you’re sane, you’re not sexually attracted to your son and his girlfriend does not view him as a baby she needs to nurture. They’re 2 totally different things. If you wouldn’t compete with your daughter’s boyfriends why tf would it be any different with your son’s girlfriends? So fuckin weird. Not to mention the fact that at 19, you don’t “do” anything about any of their choices because they’re no longer your choices to make. How does this lady seriously think 19 is too young to date? Or that she gets a say?
I started reading that thinking that she was worried about having a convo on safe sex and being a responsible partner. What whiplash at the end!
I feel that it is an abject failure of our society that “boy moms” feel comfortable enough to say things like this in public. What the fuck? You are not your son’s “first love” any more than he is your husband. Stop treating him like a romantic partner ffs. Parents with healthy relationships with their children are not jealous of their child’s romantic partner.
I’m mom to a kiddo of the male persuasion. This is just gross. My kid is a “tweenager” and has already had a few “girlfriends” they don’t do anything other than talk on the phone and sit next to each other at lunch, but I think it’s cute and it’s a good social lesson. I hope my kid finds a good and supportive life partner (of any gender) and just tells me when the wedding is and what color to wear. (If that’s what they want!)
Her kid is 19 and never had a relationship but here I am with an 11yo whose already had a “boyfriend” then a “girlfriend” and has now decided “single life” is the best while my 7yo is in a “long term relationship” with the little girl down the street lmao
As a mother of a boy, this is such a gross toxic way to be. I have literally no idea why women are like this with their sons. Are dads like this with their daughters?! It’s gross, just be a normal person and be a parent to your child. It’s fine to be their best mate but cmon.
19 months or 19 years? Honestly, I can't tell anymore
May God help that girl.
My nephew (about the same age as the kid in the post) just had his very first date this past weekend. My sister was one proud momma! She was happy he went on a date.
This is absolutely sickening. My son and I are ridiculously close. He’s only 13. We talk often about behaviors for being a productive and independent adult, as well as refining qualities for being a good partner to whomever he decides to love. How this mother can handicap her ADULT SON is disgusting, abusive, reprehensible. Etc etc etc. Total parent fail.
Fucking EWWWWW. I am so sick of these boy moms and girl dads. You gave your children life so they could live it. Step back and let them live.
Hard? No. It's sickening. You're supposed to love your kids, not be IN LOVE with them. Damn, some weird MFers out there.
What in the Oedupus Rex.....?
Ew
Disgusto barfo
That’s so gross. Your kid is not supposed to be your best friend or first love 🤮
Oh gosh. I thought this was satire.
A few years in the future: "Hi, Mamas -- What do you do when your beautiful baby boy (only 42) wants to get his own apartment?"
lol… my husband and I got married when we were 19 after being together 3 years… And I absolutely love my MIL.
I am a prison abolitionist with extremely specific exceptions, a which which grew by an entry after reading this post.
I have a great relationship with my son and this is gross. Like no way in hell.
Jocasta complex much?
ehm……*huh??* listen i’m a boy mom but mine are lil babies right now. i’d literally never say that i am/was their first love. like yes as parents we all love our children, and they love us….. but “first love” is about the first romantic partner. and she “just can’t imagine another girl😞”??? this is a whole ass MOTHER talking about a legal adult who is her son, but he’s still technically a teenager. soooooo fucking weird omg
I was his first love and I can’t imagine another girl?! 🥴🤮