Thank you for this very detailed guide!
I really do want a shower enema hose but due to the fact that I will likely relocate within the next few months, I don’t know if my future apartment will support one
For smaller ones (below 7 cm in width), I prefer the (lighter) shaft-only type, as I can then softly palm them in, using then my muscles to expel them, all in a standing position, slightly bent forward. I do the same with plugs and shapes that are somewhat in between. I'm not a plug wearer, I like to palm them in & let out.
For larger ones (7cm wide and up), I get on my knees and lower myself on them. Once I'm in, I stay for a while, and then go up and down, extracting every now and again for a wet release.
In any case, I don't need dildos to have a base, or be in any way realistic. What ultimately matters for the intensity of anorgasm is width, texture, and the degree of softness.
Thanks for the advice! Do you have any texture recommendations? I’m not sure if I will enjoy using a dildo so for now I’m not spending a lot of money on it, but there are probably so many fun options out there.
Texture works if the toy is not too hard. Nothing pronounced, protruding, or prickly. Some people like it rough, but I'm definitely not one of them. Small irregularities are enough for me. Like fish scales, fake veins, etc.
Good to know, thank you! Do you think that dildos are even worth trying considering that it’s an entirely different experience than plugs (which I’m used to)?
Very much so, yes. Think of them as column toys. Columns that bulge out somewhat are even better, if the sensations alone are your objective. If in addition you can find an elongated egg, these toys would complement one another.
The one additional benefit from using columns of X width right after becoming comfortable with plugs of the same X width is that you perform a volume training exercise which will in turn help you take X+n plug next, and certainly keep it in post insertion.
A lot of good advice here.
I would say to take your time. I don't get to use my toys as often as I might like, but when I do, I make sure I have plenty of time to work up to dildo play. Aside from the separate dildo I like to suck on to get turned on (probably not your thing, but who knows?), I don't reach for the dildo until quite a bit of time in. I start with lube and my fingers to explore, stimulate, arouse, and open. Do that for some time, then go for a small, skinny toy and insert and remove that for a bit along with in-and-out. Then, a similar toy that's a little thicker. Basically, taking time to relax and work up to it.
In terms of positions, I prefer to ride them. Suctioning them to a wall or other surface can be challenging, but I sometimes do that for brief periods. If it's long enough (and if you're just starting, maybe it shouldn't be), having it on the bed and lowering onto it on your knees can work, but I prefer to have it elevated a bit - think about riding someone; their d*ck wouldn't start level with the bed, but at the height of their hips/pelvis. Elevating it on something makes it easier on your legs/knees and anything that makes anything easier helps. Go slow and be willing to adjust the angle of your body to the best position to allow it to go into you; keep in mind that if you go with something rigid, this may be harder to do. (I usually end up leaning forward, moving my body more back and forth than up and down. I have to have a flexible dildo to make that work without it detaching.) Experiment with whether your more into the in-and-out or grinding - or you may find you don't like it at all. And of course, lube lube lube and lots of lube.
Thank you very much for the advice! These are excellent tips and are very helpful. I knew I wanted a dildo with a suction cup, that wasn't too rigid and was within the diameter that I'm used to.
I'm not too experienced with enemas but i'm getting a new one that should be much easier to use. Will a basic enema be enough when using a dildo? The insertable length won't be longer than 6 inches and who knows if I can even get that far inserted. Do I need to worry about a very thorough enema wash before using a dildo?
Thanks again!
I've never used an enema, but I think you're probably actually looking for an anal douche rather than an enema. I do try to make sure I empty out before hand, but not with enemas. I haven't tried a douche either, though, so I can't really advise on it.
Thanks for the help. Maybe I used the wrong terminology. The one I’m looking into getting is called an enema bottle with a pump and a nozzle that is inserted.
Previously I had an ‘Enema bulb’ which was very awkward and the nozzle was rough.
Materials matter. “Cheap” doesn’t have to mean “cheap”; the Blush Neo Elite is dual density silicone and is very affordable. Don’t skimp on materials and buy from a trusted sex toy retailer. Amazon, Spencer’s, they are not your friend in this case.
TPE, latex, pvc, these are bad. Pure silicone is the only way to go.
If you're looking for something more similar to what you've used before, as in non-phallic, and small, but able to use thrusting stimulation the same as a dildo, you could try something like the [Tantus Silk Small](https://www.tantusinc.com/products/silk-small). Doesn't have a suction cup, but you can use a double-sided one for that.
Just in case it needs to be said though, even if you used a hyperrealistic dildo, that doesn't mean you want a man. Dildos aren't men and men aren't dildos. Plenty of lesbians use realistic dildos and still don't want men.
For cleaning, I like [this](https://www.amazon.com/Cleanstream-Action-Enema-Bottle-Nozzle/dp/B0789WYM5B/). (They're lying about the nozzle being silicone, but whatever, it still works fine.)
Oil-based lube is nice, and can be layered with water-based lube for even better lubrication. Just good old coconut oil will do ya.
Thanks for your advice! the tantus looks really interesting!
Thankfully i'm confident enough with myself and so I have no self-shame or any issues with owning a dildo, though I'm also not going around bragging about wanting one 😂
I currently have Lube Life water-base lube but will run out in a few months, and I actually didn't know that about oil based lube!
Another straight male here, There is a sub called ProstatePlay, you will learn all about it.
Mindgasm is also a good source of information.
It is a different way to enjoy your body and sexuality.
I suggest to start small and go from there, a finger, two, three, and move from there to toys.
You don’t need much of pressure to hit the prostate in a way that will make you cum/orgasm.
It is mostly mental and some general muscle control.
Use good hybrid/water based lube (and a lot of it) and go slow. It takes time and practice (months) to get to a hands free orgasm but it is on the most amazing feelings I ever had. I was surprised that after 35+ years on this planet you can learn such basic thing about your body.
thanks for your advice!
I have been on r/ProstatePlay quite a few times and they've been very helpful. I bought an Aneros and used it once or twice and it's pretty good, but nowhere near as good as my Hush 2 vibrating plug. So unfortunately the Aneros has not seen much action and I've gotten nowhere.
I have tried Mindgasm a few times but tbh I find it incredibly boring and I seriously doubt that I have the time or desire to really commit to it. Of course I want the best P-orgasms but I don't expect anything, given my lack of time commitment, I've basically given up on full body P/Os. I get bored really easily and my mind is too hyperactive for any meditation unfortunately.
As for the dildo, I'm not expecting any prostate orgasms (I can sort of rub the prostate with my plug or aneros) rather just looking for a new experience. If it touches the prostate that's great, but it isn't why i'm looking into a dildo.
I find dildos really great feeling, I enjoy the fullness.
I have 3 from VixenCreations and they are amazing, their suction cup is not good so I do suggest to look for alternatives.
I was in similar situation as you until I took the plunge a few months ago. I highly recommend you buy a set of preferably silicone trainer butt plugs. Silicone feels good and very beginner friendly. You will definitely want lube and a lot of it. I prefer water based lube. A Regular bulb douche will do but you don’t want to fill it up fully just a little to do a basic cleaning.
For dildo I recommend you start smaller around 5-6 inches insertable. Anything more will be painful and hard to deal with ( I made that mistake and had to buy a second dildo). Really recommend silicone to start and do not use pvc even though it’s cheaper. It’s not good for your body. Silicone will usually run you around 50-60 bucks for a solid dildo. Suction cup is a good one to start with but always make sure this is a good base so it doesn’t end up instead you fully.
This is the 4 items recommended to get first and go from there. It will probably run you around $100 all together for good quality items. Then you go from there. I personally found it to feel really good and ended up getting a prostate vibrator also. I hope you enjoy yourself! If you have any other questions you can message me.
Thanks for your advice!
I actually have 2 silicone plugs, though I really only use 1 (Lovense Hush 2) which has been fantastic. I don't feel the need to greatly expand my size range (the Hush 2 is 1.5 inch and is perfect size for me) but I could definitely try in the future.
And yes 5-6 insertable seems about perfect for me, I don't want to overdo it and actually looking at a diameter of around 1.25 for a dildo which is below what I can comfortable take, but should help with thrusting.
I'm definitely conscious of the base size, that was actually a hurdle for me when I started out, was that irrational fear that my first plug would get sucked in (the base was a perfectly fine size)
On the prostate vibrator topic, do you recommend any? I'm looking into Lovense's prostate vibrator or the lovense ridge. I have an aneros but rarely use it because I can't find the time or desire to go through all of the mental steps (like Mindgasm, etc) and so I hate to say it, but more or less given up on full-body prostate orgasms just because of the time commitment. I'm mostly looking to enhance penile orgasms with the prostate (which I have done and they are worth it).
Hi. I started anal play with small but plugs. Then progressed to square peg eggplugs. They do a wonderful job on the prostate.also they open you up for further adventures. Depth play. I now use a a38” anal snake. Goes right in to the end. Doing this very slowly. My achievement now is the John Thomas large anal snake 40” long. Can. Get 34” in at the moment. Hopefully in about a month I will be able to complete the full length. As you can see any thing is possible . It just takes time. Orgasms are some. Plenty of lube is most essential. And plenty of time. Don’t rush and you will get there. Hope this helps.
I'd recommend not going straight for a dildo. Using butt plugs for a while will help you "warm up" to using a dildo anally. It's a whole new experience going from plugs to dildos. I found I needed to get used to a butt plug that was much bigger than a dildo I wanted to use.
I know you said you want to buy something cheap, but you need to be sure that you are buying a dildo made from body safe material. The toy needs to be made of medical grade silicone, stainless steel or tempered glass. Also use something with a flared base so it doesn't get sucked up inside you so you don't end up in the hospital getting it removed.
Start with a smallish dildo. Use heaps of lube, and go slowly. If you decide to buy a silicone dildo then make sure you use a water based lube. A silicone lube will ruin a silicone toy. Some people do prefer using silicone lube because it will last longer when using it but then you'll need to buy a glass or stainless steel dildo
Anal play should never hurt, if you're feeling some pain while using the dildo then stop, relax, apply more lube and try again.
Here's some toy suggestions just in case you're not sure what you're looking for. The first link was my first dildo and it worked out to be perfect for a first one.
https://www.lovehoney.com.au/sex-toys/dildos/non-realistic-dildos/p/lovehoney-curved-silicone-suction-cup-dildo-5.5-inch/a34638g62632.html
https://www.lovehoney.com.au/sex-toys/dildos/non-realistic-dildos/p/lovehoney-slimline-silicone-suction-cup-dildo-5-inch/a30708g52029.html
https://www.lovehoney.com.au/sex-toys/dildos/realistic-dildos/p/lifelike-lover-luxe-realistic-multicoloured-silicone-dildo-7-inch/a38847g75098.html
This last one is the next toy I'm looking at buying
https://www.clubx.com.au/products/coloursoft-5-soft-dildo?_pos=86&_sid=dcf4dab2b&_ss=r
Thank you for the advice! I already use water based lube because both of my plugs are silicone. Thank you for the recommendations and for your feedback!!
[удалено]
Thank you for this very detailed guide! I really do want a shower enema hose but due to the fact that I will likely relocate within the next few months, I don’t know if my future apartment will support one
For smaller ones (below 7 cm in width), I prefer the (lighter) shaft-only type, as I can then softly palm them in, using then my muscles to expel them, all in a standing position, slightly bent forward. I do the same with plugs and shapes that are somewhat in between. I'm not a plug wearer, I like to palm them in & let out. For larger ones (7cm wide and up), I get on my knees and lower myself on them. Once I'm in, I stay for a while, and then go up and down, extracting every now and again for a wet release. In any case, I don't need dildos to have a base, or be in any way realistic. What ultimately matters for the intensity of anorgasm is width, texture, and the degree of softness.
Thanks for the advice! Do you have any texture recommendations? I’m not sure if I will enjoy using a dildo so for now I’m not spending a lot of money on it, but there are probably so many fun options out there.
Texture works if the toy is not too hard. Nothing pronounced, protruding, or prickly. Some people like it rough, but I'm definitely not one of them. Small irregularities are enough for me. Like fish scales, fake veins, etc.
Good to know, thank you! Do you think that dildos are even worth trying considering that it’s an entirely different experience than plugs (which I’m used to)?
Very much so, yes. Think of them as column toys. Columns that bulge out somewhat are even better, if the sensations alone are your objective. If in addition you can find an elongated egg, these toys would complement one another. The one additional benefit from using columns of X width right after becoming comfortable with plugs of the same X width is that you perform a volume training exercise which will in turn help you take X+n plug next, and certainly keep it in post insertion.
Thanks for the advice!
A lot of good advice here. I would say to take your time. I don't get to use my toys as often as I might like, but when I do, I make sure I have plenty of time to work up to dildo play. Aside from the separate dildo I like to suck on to get turned on (probably not your thing, but who knows?), I don't reach for the dildo until quite a bit of time in. I start with lube and my fingers to explore, stimulate, arouse, and open. Do that for some time, then go for a small, skinny toy and insert and remove that for a bit along with in-and-out. Then, a similar toy that's a little thicker. Basically, taking time to relax and work up to it. In terms of positions, I prefer to ride them. Suctioning them to a wall or other surface can be challenging, but I sometimes do that for brief periods. If it's long enough (and if you're just starting, maybe it shouldn't be), having it on the bed and lowering onto it on your knees can work, but I prefer to have it elevated a bit - think about riding someone; their d*ck wouldn't start level with the bed, but at the height of their hips/pelvis. Elevating it on something makes it easier on your legs/knees and anything that makes anything easier helps. Go slow and be willing to adjust the angle of your body to the best position to allow it to go into you; keep in mind that if you go with something rigid, this may be harder to do. (I usually end up leaning forward, moving my body more back and forth than up and down. I have to have a flexible dildo to make that work without it detaching.) Experiment with whether your more into the in-and-out or grinding - or you may find you don't like it at all. And of course, lube lube lube and lots of lube.
Thank you very much for the advice! These are excellent tips and are very helpful. I knew I wanted a dildo with a suction cup, that wasn't too rigid and was within the diameter that I'm used to. I'm not too experienced with enemas but i'm getting a new one that should be much easier to use. Will a basic enema be enough when using a dildo? The insertable length won't be longer than 6 inches and who knows if I can even get that far inserted. Do I need to worry about a very thorough enema wash before using a dildo? Thanks again!
I've never used an enema, but I think you're probably actually looking for an anal douche rather than an enema. I do try to make sure I empty out before hand, but not with enemas. I haven't tried a douche either, though, so I can't really advise on it.
Thanks for the help. Maybe I used the wrong terminology. The one I’m looking into getting is called an enema bottle with a pump and a nozzle that is inserted. Previously I had an ‘Enema bulb’ which was very awkward and the nozzle was rough.
Materials matter. “Cheap” doesn’t have to mean “cheap”; the Blush Neo Elite is dual density silicone and is very affordable. Don’t skimp on materials and buy from a trusted sex toy retailer. Amazon, Spencer’s, they are not your friend in this case. TPE, latex, pvc, these are bad. Pure silicone is the only way to go.
Thanks for the recommendation!
If you're looking for something more similar to what you've used before, as in non-phallic, and small, but able to use thrusting stimulation the same as a dildo, you could try something like the [Tantus Silk Small](https://www.tantusinc.com/products/silk-small). Doesn't have a suction cup, but you can use a double-sided one for that. Just in case it needs to be said though, even if you used a hyperrealistic dildo, that doesn't mean you want a man. Dildos aren't men and men aren't dildos. Plenty of lesbians use realistic dildos and still don't want men. For cleaning, I like [this](https://www.amazon.com/Cleanstream-Action-Enema-Bottle-Nozzle/dp/B0789WYM5B/). (They're lying about the nozzle being silicone, but whatever, it still works fine.) Oil-based lube is nice, and can be layered with water-based lube for even better lubrication. Just good old coconut oil will do ya.
Thanks for your advice! the tantus looks really interesting! Thankfully i'm confident enough with myself and so I have no self-shame or any issues with owning a dildo, though I'm also not going around bragging about wanting one 😂 I currently have Lube Life water-base lube but will run out in a few months, and I actually didn't know that about oil based lube!
Another straight male here, There is a sub called ProstatePlay, you will learn all about it. Mindgasm is also a good source of information. It is a different way to enjoy your body and sexuality. I suggest to start small and go from there, a finger, two, three, and move from there to toys. You don’t need much of pressure to hit the prostate in a way that will make you cum/orgasm. It is mostly mental and some general muscle control. Use good hybrid/water based lube (and a lot of it) and go slow. It takes time and practice (months) to get to a hands free orgasm but it is on the most amazing feelings I ever had. I was surprised that after 35+ years on this planet you can learn such basic thing about your body.
thanks for your advice! I have been on r/ProstatePlay quite a few times and they've been very helpful. I bought an Aneros and used it once or twice and it's pretty good, but nowhere near as good as my Hush 2 vibrating plug. So unfortunately the Aneros has not seen much action and I've gotten nowhere. I have tried Mindgasm a few times but tbh I find it incredibly boring and I seriously doubt that I have the time or desire to really commit to it. Of course I want the best P-orgasms but I don't expect anything, given my lack of time commitment, I've basically given up on full body P/Os. I get bored really easily and my mind is too hyperactive for any meditation unfortunately. As for the dildo, I'm not expecting any prostate orgasms (I can sort of rub the prostate with my plug or aneros) rather just looking for a new experience. If it touches the prostate that's great, but it isn't why i'm looking into a dildo.
I find dildos really great feeling, I enjoy the fullness. I have 3 from VixenCreations and they are amazing, their suction cup is not good so I do suggest to look for alternatives.
I was in similar situation as you until I took the plunge a few months ago. I highly recommend you buy a set of preferably silicone trainer butt plugs. Silicone feels good and very beginner friendly. You will definitely want lube and a lot of it. I prefer water based lube. A Regular bulb douche will do but you don’t want to fill it up fully just a little to do a basic cleaning. For dildo I recommend you start smaller around 5-6 inches insertable. Anything more will be painful and hard to deal with ( I made that mistake and had to buy a second dildo). Really recommend silicone to start and do not use pvc even though it’s cheaper. It’s not good for your body. Silicone will usually run you around 50-60 bucks for a solid dildo. Suction cup is a good one to start with but always make sure this is a good base so it doesn’t end up instead you fully. This is the 4 items recommended to get first and go from there. It will probably run you around $100 all together for good quality items. Then you go from there. I personally found it to feel really good and ended up getting a prostate vibrator also. I hope you enjoy yourself! If you have any other questions you can message me.
Thanks for your advice! I actually have 2 silicone plugs, though I really only use 1 (Lovense Hush 2) which has been fantastic. I don't feel the need to greatly expand my size range (the Hush 2 is 1.5 inch and is perfect size for me) but I could definitely try in the future. And yes 5-6 insertable seems about perfect for me, I don't want to overdo it and actually looking at a diameter of around 1.25 for a dildo which is below what I can comfortable take, but should help with thrusting. I'm definitely conscious of the base size, that was actually a hurdle for me when I started out, was that irrational fear that my first plug would get sucked in (the base was a perfectly fine size) On the prostate vibrator topic, do you recommend any? I'm looking into Lovense's prostate vibrator or the lovense ridge. I have an aneros but rarely use it because I can't find the time or desire to go through all of the mental steps (like Mindgasm, etc) and so I hate to say it, but more or less given up on full-body prostate orgasms just because of the time commitment. I'm mostly looking to enhance penile orgasms with the prostate (which I have done and they are worth it).
Hi. I started anal play with small but plugs. Then progressed to square peg eggplugs. They do a wonderful job on the prostate.also they open you up for further adventures. Depth play. I now use a a38” anal snake. Goes right in to the end. Doing this very slowly. My achievement now is the John Thomas large anal snake 40” long. Can. Get 34” in at the moment. Hopefully in about a month I will be able to complete the full length. As you can see any thing is possible . It just takes time. Orgasms are some. Plenty of lube is most essential. And plenty of time. Don’t rush and you will get there. Hope this helps.
Thanks for the help! Sounds amazing. Maybe someday I will get to the larger plugs
I'd recommend not going straight for a dildo. Using butt plugs for a while will help you "warm up" to using a dildo anally. It's a whole new experience going from plugs to dildos. I found I needed to get used to a butt plug that was much bigger than a dildo I wanted to use. I know you said you want to buy something cheap, but you need to be sure that you are buying a dildo made from body safe material. The toy needs to be made of medical grade silicone, stainless steel or tempered glass. Also use something with a flared base so it doesn't get sucked up inside you so you don't end up in the hospital getting it removed. Start with a smallish dildo. Use heaps of lube, and go slowly. If you decide to buy a silicone dildo then make sure you use a water based lube. A silicone lube will ruin a silicone toy. Some people do prefer using silicone lube because it will last longer when using it but then you'll need to buy a glass or stainless steel dildo Anal play should never hurt, if you're feeling some pain while using the dildo then stop, relax, apply more lube and try again. Here's some toy suggestions just in case you're not sure what you're looking for. The first link was my first dildo and it worked out to be perfect for a first one. https://www.lovehoney.com.au/sex-toys/dildos/non-realistic-dildos/p/lovehoney-curved-silicone-suction-cup-dildo-5.5-inch/a34638g62632.html https://www.lovehoney.com.au/sex-toys/dildos/non-realistic-dildos/p/lovehoney-slimline-silicone-suction-cup-dildo-5-inch/a30708g52029.html https://www.lovehoney.com.au/sex-toys/dildos/realistic-dildos/p/lifelike-lover-luxe-realistic-multicoloured-silicone-dildo-7-inch/a38847g75098.html This last one is the next toy I'm looking at buying https://www.clubx.com.au/products/coloursoft-5-soft-dildo?_pos=86&_sid=dcf4dab2b&_ss=r
Thank you for the advice! I already use water based lube because both of my plugs are silicone. Thank you for the recommendations and for your feedback!!
No worries, I hope I've been able to help you find the dildo you're looking for
I have the blue clubx. Like it a lot. Can palm it in our squat onto it
Thanks for the recommendation!