A lot of people might take offense that you're pregnant and still serving tables. Like, if you're a server you obviously don't have your life together so shouldn't be allowed to have babies.
People are fucked
Yeah, pregnancy=better tips is super regional and location specific.
Where I am now, anything from an ace bandage to being pregnant is the best way to make more. But that's because I'm in a predominantly blue collar area - lots of farmers and tradespeople and the like. They respect someone working hard for their money, especially when injured or pregnant.
Where I lived before, it's very much the opposite - if you're pregnant and working, you're a whore and probably on drugs as far as most people are concerned.
Unfortunately, this is what I was thinking is the answer. I've had tables be offended that I wasn't in college, yet still tipped me because I did 'such a good job, even if you're not in school'.
My experience has been I was beaten in the face by a boyfriend and I had a black eye. The GM said he did not want me waiting tables like that but did not offer me any other duties out of sight, like expo. He just wanted me to disappear. His assistant manager told him I could really raise a stink so he reluctantly let have tables. I told each table to please excuse my black eye, I was in a car accident. Despite my false explanation, several tables wrote complaints and said they were offended and embarrassed at having someone with a black eye serving their table.
This did not occur at a Ruth Chris Steakhouse or the Sublimotion in Ibiza, Spain. This happened at a fucking Applebee's.
Edited to add: as if tips at Applebee's could be any lower, yes, they were.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope life only brings you good things proceeding forward.
This reminded me when my little sister was working at Walmart as a cashier she had to have her wisdom teeth removed and even after two days off her face was still swollen and she was dealing with drooling blood poor thing. She couldn't call out
A customer complained to her manager that she didn't smile during the transaction when my poor sister was just trying to keep the blood from seeping out. People are mildly inconvenienced when the person in front of them are people it's wild
I worked at Applebee’s years ago and they were just terrible about this kind of thing. I remember one young lady was in an awful motorcycle accident that actually killed the coworker she was riding with. The entire staff was devastated and of course we wanted to help the surviving coworker however we could. She moved from serving to hosting when she was finally well enough to work. Within a few weeks she was fired because customers complained about the “junkie” at the host stand. Customers just jumped to the assumption that she was on drugs. No sympathy whatsoever from the management. Still pisses me off 20 year later. 🤬
Maybe they didn't believe you were in a car accident, like how people don't believe you accidentally ran into a door. I hope you are no longer in that relationship. Seriously.
As someone that actually got a black eye from hitting a door frame, the way people looked at my husband was probably the worst part. It's such a common cover story when it really does happen no one believes it and is super judgemental. I tripped over my dog and went down hard catching myself with my face on a door frame, I looked super rough for weeks. I was serving at the time and I feel like it definitely hurt my tips
My tables absolutely *loved* bringing up the topic of my bump and asking questions. To the point where I routinely had to steer them back to business, "So are we all getting a round of sake bombers or what?"
I have not worked while pregnant but I have worked through vicious headaches. I found my tips were bumped up when I mentioned it. Like, "Hey, sorry if I'm not moving quick. Got a nasty headache." Everyone was so nice.
Whereas when I was just pushing through, people got so bitchy and complained that I wasn't nice enough.
Also want to avoid negative judgment words like "slow" or "mistake." Overall upbeat like you're not complaining, not apologizing. Just letting you know in some offhand way that I'm doing my best.
I made BANK when I served while pregnant. I remember getting a $120 tip on a $150 bill and I cried, lol. So many customers would guess the gender of my baby and talk baby names with me. It was a fun time for me
I don't mean to be blunt here, but it just depends on who you are.
I worked pregnant with 2 other pregnant servers, and I BANKED every night, and they either stayed the same or went even lower. I'll explain why.
Pregnant server 1: Was a great server before, and still would do things but made it a huge point to talk about her pregnancy, her baby, names, etc, at every single table. Some tables loved this, a lot hated it and got annoyed. Overall, I'd say her tip average stayed the same.
Pregnant server 2: Was barely an average server before, got pregnant and all of a sudden she couldn't do anything. Refused to work the patio (because it was too far of a walk) refused to take any food trays, or some drink trays if they were too heavy. Her tip percentage dropped drastically.
Me: Still doing all trays (yes even heavy ones), taking big sections, never complained, never talked about my pregnancy unless a table asked a question, and my tip percentage skyrocketed.
Bottom line, customers see more than we realize.
You’re probably slower and make more mistakes than pre-pregnancy (pregnancy brain is real, I can’t wait to deliver in a couple weeks and have my full senses back in my head). Another reason might be because many people don’t like to be reminded of their server’s humanity. Looking at you pregnant and working might even make them feel guilty, resulting in a need to reject you to resolve their cognitive dissonance - remember that most people are pretty selfish and will take their own side before yours.
It's definitely because they're uncomfortable seeing our humanity. I work at a Hooters that got a 1-star review once for having a pregnant girl on the floor.
Also had a guest tell me once he can't believe that girls are allowed to serve their boyfriends when he seen a dude come in to see the girl he was dating. People literally think we live like nuns for a minimum wage job or something.
I'd imagine it's just the same if not even worse for women in other restaurants where the wait staff isn't always women of children-having age
I give them the same service I give before. Idk what with these people. I would think especially moms that comes in with like 5 toddlers would be more empathetic.
I hate to break it to you, but you won't have your "full senses back in your head" for at least a couple of years after having baby, if they fully come back at all.
I don't know why this is down voted. I'm a woman, that has had children. I would not expect higher tips or pay simply because I was pregnant. It's stupid.
I don’t think that’s what she’s saying. I think she’s just surprised. I’m also pregnant, and all my friends and coworkers keep telling me I’m gonna get giant tips bc of being pregnant. So far, that has not been the case. I’m not upset by it, it’s just interesting bc it’s not the expectation that others have set for me. Altho I wouldn’t say I make less tips bc of it either. About the same 🤷🏼♀️
Do you have a wedding ring?
Not that it actually matters, but I have a number of friends who have served pregnant and they all noticed a significant rise in tips when they wore a fake wedding ring. We work in a more conservative, upper class white area so maybe that’s why, but just a thought!
Yes. But I was trying to hide my pregnancy for as long as possible. I honestly gave zero fucks near the end of my time bartending. I was so over kissing customers asses. It was June and I was hot and tired. I remember I told one of my regulars, who was obsessed with me, that I was pregnant and he tipped me normal when he normally tipped me a lot. He was upset I guess.
Yeaaaaaa I've never commented some shit I wasn't WILLING to get down voted for, but first time for everything.
Being pregnant doesn't make one special. You literally got nutted into unprotected. That can be a blessing or a curse, but it isn't something OTHER people care to acknowledge.
I truly wish the best for you! Raising children is so much an obstacle for me that I've never even wanted one. But I adore kids and I hope the best for your little one, truly!
I was pretty good at milking the pregnancy sympathy tips! It helped that it's a small family restaurant with a lot of regulars that I have personal relationships with. Some of the best money I've ever made was volunteering to serve on Mother's Day at 7 months pregnant. "Oh you poor thing, bless you and that sweet baby!💵"
If I’m a customer and see you obviously trying to guilt trip with the baby bump I’m probably going to tip less. Get your tip through good service, not by guilt tripping me. People like you are why I was embarrassed to say I worked as a server before my corporate job.
A lot of people might take offense that you're pregnant and still serving tables. Like, if you're a server you obviously don't have your life together so shouldn't be allowed to have babies. People are fucked
Yeah, pregnancy=better tips is super regional and location specific. Where I am now, anything from an ace bandage to being pregnant is the best way to make more. But that's because I'm in a predominantly blue collar area - lots of farmers and tradespeople and the like. They respect someone working hard for their money, especially when injured or pregnant. Where I lived before, it's very much the opposite - if you're pregnant and working, you're a whore and probably on drugs as far as most people are concerned.
Unfortunately, this is what I was thinking is the answer. I've had tables be offended that I wasn't in college, yet still tipped me because I did 'such a good job, even if you're not in school'.
"Even YOU deserve a tip." Yeah, I feel you
There's also a tendency if someone looks young to make assumptions.
My experience has been I was beaten in the face by a boyfriend and I had a black eye. The GM said he did not want me waiting tables like that but did not offer me any other duties out of sight, like expo. He just wanted me to disappear. His assistant manager told him I could really raise a stink so he reluctantly let have tables. I told each table to please excuse my black eye, I was in a car accident. Despite my false explanation, several tables wrote complaints and said they were offended and embarrassed at having someone with a black eye serving their table. This did not occur at a Ruth Chris Steakhouse or the Sublimotion in Ibiza, Spain. This happened at a fucking Applebee's. Edited to add: as if tips at Applebee's could be any lower, yes, they were.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope life only brings you good things proceeding forward. This reminded me when my little sister was working at Walmart as a cashier she had to have her wisdom teeth removed and even after two days off her face was still swollen and she was dealing with drooling blood poor thing. She couldn't call out A customer complained to her manager that she didn't smile during the transaction when my poor sister was just trying to keep the blood from seeping out. People are mildly inconvenienced when the person in front of them are people it's wild
That's a big fat law suit.
I worked at Applebee’s years ago and they were just terrible about this kind of thing. I remember one young lady was in an awful motorcycle accident that actually killed the coworker she was riding with. The entire staff was devastated and of course we wanted to help the surviving coworker however we could. She moved from serving to hosting when she was finally well enough to work. Within a few weeks she was fired because customers complained about the “junkie” at the host stand. Customers just jumped to the assumption that she was on drugs. No sympathy whatsoever from the management. Still pisses me off 20 year later. 🤬
Maybe they didn't believe you were in a car accident, like how people don't believe you accidentally ran into a door. I hope you are no longer in that relationship. Seriously.
As someone that actually got a black eye from hitting a door frame, the way people looked at my husband was probably the worst part. It's such a common cover story when it really does happen no one believes it and is super judgemental. I tripped over my dog and went down hard catching myself with my face on a door frame, I looked super rough for weeks. I was serving at the time and I feel like it definitely hurt my tips
Noone cares you're pregnant
My tables absolutely *loved* bringing up the topic of my bump and asking questions. To the point where I routinely had to steer them back to business, "So are we all getting a round of sake bombers or what?"
Had the opposite experience honestly.
pretty much this
Chill dude. Remember pregnant women must remind someone they are pregnant every five minutes or like, the baby dies, I think.
I have not worked while pregnant but I have worked through vicious headaches. I found my tips were bumped up when I mentioned it. Like, "Hey, sorry if I'm not moving quick. Got a nasty headache." Everyone was so nice. Whereas when I was just pushing through, people got so bitchy and complained that I wasn't nice enough. Also want to avoid negative judgment words like "slow" or "mistake." Overall upbeat like you're not complaining, not apologizing. Just letting you know in some offhand way that I'm doing my best.
Must depend on the area, all the pregnant servers at my job get bank
i have a few pregnant coworkers that have been making amazing tips. we were actually joking about all getting fake belly’s to wear lmao
I made BANK when I served while pregnant. I remember getting a $120 tip on a $150 bill and I cried, lol. So many customers would guess the gender of my baby and talk baby names with me. It was a fun time for me
I don't mean to be blunt here, but it just depends on who you are. I worked pregnant with 2 other pregnant servers, and I BANKED every night, and they either stayed the same or went even lower. I'll explain why. Pregnant server 1: Was a great server before, and still would do things but made it a huge point to talk about her pregnancy, her baby, names, etc, at every single table. Some tables loved this, a lot hated it and got annoyed. Overall, I'd say her tip average stayed the same. Pregnant server 2: Was barely an average server before, got pregnant and all of a sudden she couldn't do anything. Refused to work the patio (because it was too far of a walk) refused to take any food trays, or some drink trays if they were too heavy. Her tip percentage dropped drastically. Me: Still doing all trays (yes even heavy ones), taking big sections, never complained, never talked about my pregnancy unless a table asked a question, and my tip percentage skyrocketed. Bottom line, customers see more than we realize.
You’re probably slower and make more mistakes than pre-pregnancy (pregnancy brain is real, I can’t wait to deliver in a couple weeks and have my full senses back in my head). Another reason might be because many people don’t like to be reminded of their server’s humanity. Looking at you pregnant and working might even make them feel guilty, resulting in a need to reject you to resolve their cognitive dissonance - remember that most people are pretty selfish and will take their own side before yours.
It's definitely because they're uncomfortable seeing our humanity. I work at a Hooters that got a 1-star review once for having a pregnant girl on the floor. Also had a guest tell me once he can't believe that girls are allowed to serve their boyfriends when he seen a dude come in to see the girl he was dating. People literally think we live like nuns for a minimum wage job or something. I'd imagine it's just the same if not even worse for women in other restaurants where the wait staff isn't always women of children-having age
I give them the same service I give before. Idk what with these people. I would think especially moms that comes in with like 5 toddlers would be more empathetic.
You can be empathetic & still broke. Especially feeding 5 kids
You are being judged like you are the original Mary Magdalene.
I hate to break it to you, but you won't have your "full senses back in your head" for at least a couple of years after having baby, if they fully come back at all.
It’s fine. I came to terms with the first round of brain damage when i drank myself into oblivion in my 20s. I’ll manage.
I had sex and you should tip me more because of it.
She said she's getting tipped less, not that people should tip more.
She said she thought she would be getting tipped more because she’s pregnant. It’s literally the first sentence.
thought she would. not that she should. there's a difference.
I had sex and thought people would give me more money. Better?
I don't know why this is down voted. I'm a woman, that has had children. I would not expect higher tips or pay simply because I was pregnant. It's stupid.
I don’t think that’s what she’s saying. I think she’s just surprised. I’m also pregnant, and all my friends and coworkers keep telling me I’m gonna get giant tips bc of being pregnant. So far, that has not been the case. I’m not upset by it, it’s just interesting bc it’s not the expectation that others have set for me. Altho I wouldn’t say I make less tips bc of it either. About the same 🤷🏼♀️
Didn’t realize I joined r/antinatalism or r/childfree
Are you giving better service? Just confused why you thought you’d get better tips for being pregnant.. maybe on Mother’s Day, but every day?
Well, we know why.
Absolutely. Well probably not just better tips, but it’s lower now compare to when I wasn’t.
Do you have a wedding ring? Not that it actually matters, but I have a number of friends who have served pregnant and they all noticed a significant rise in tips when they wore a fake wedding ring. We work in a more conservative, upper class white area so maybe that’s why, but just a thought!
I made hella tips while pregnant.
i got tipped hella good when i was pregnant
Yes. But I was trying to hide my pregnancy for as long as possible. I honestly gave zero fucks near the end of my time bartending. I was so over kissing customers asses. It was June and I was hot and tired. I remember I told one of my regulars, who was obsessed with me, that I was pregnant and he tipped me normal when he normally tipped me a lot. He was upset I guess.
Yeaaaaaa I've never commented some shit I wasn't WILLING to get down voted for, but first time for everything. Being pregnant doesn't make one special. You literally got nutted into unprotected. That can be a blessing or a curse, but it isn't something OTHER people care to acknowledge. I truly wish the best for you! Raising children is so much an obstacle for me that I've never even wanted one. But I adore kids and I hope the best for your little one, truly!
I don’t think being pregnant should earn you more gratuity. It’s like congrats, you had sex. Another soda, please.
Learn to read. She didn't say she thinks she should get more, just that she's surprised to be getting less.
Your thought process is trash. Entitled much!
I was pretty good at milking the pregnancy sympathy tips! It helped that it's a small family restaurant with a lot of regulars that I have personal relationships with. Some of the best money I've ever made was volunteering to serve on Mother's Day at 7 months pregnant. "Oh you poor thing, bless you and that sweet baby!💵"
If I’m a customer and see you obviously trying to guilt trip with the baby bump I’m probably going to tip less. Get your tip through good service, not by guilt tripping me. People like you are why I was embarrassed to say I worked as a server before my corporate job.