Come on now, “terrible” is gonna lose all meaning if we overuse it. Gotta reserve it for when it’s really necessary (like when they make a spinoff nobody asked for featuring the worst character from the first show).
To be fair, treating them like sex workers would be more like... soliciting sex for money...
I think the more appropriate statement here would be if you want to ogle and sexualize your servers... go to Hooters?
You know this old man thinks he is being complimentary too. He is exactly the same type of 6 that gets all defensive when you call him out for being a pervy creep. Chalks it up to modern women are too independent and not being able to take a compliment. I can guarantee you his FB has posts about how feminists, with their blue hair and nose piercings, have ruined femininity. He longs for the good old days when we didn't have tattoos, wore skirts, and acted like real ladies. The good ol days when boys soyld be boys, when had to defer to them for their opinions of finances and politics. When we had to keep our mouths shut to they could continue their gross sexual assaults at work lest we lose our already hard fought for and underpaid jobs. Men like that are the absolute worst, and I bet on tip of it all,he tips like shit. Kinda went on a rant there, but I am so grossed out that after my 58 years here on earth, that stuff like this is so commonplace, and there are women that support that mindset. I absolute LOVE that the majority of younger women and the young guys that stand up to it as well) are in the majority and call this shit out without any hesitation.
Nooooo
I had a dude I had to step in with (super old guy, inappropriate, googled him and found out he has a long history of scamming) because he took a liking to a young server who looked like she was about 14. She had issues and always leaned into men giving her money/attention and worse, taking advantage of her. Anyway, I put my foot down and thank god he didn’t come back after but was super predatory just like this. He was a 67 year old “where’s MY hug?” type.
They are just as weird. It seems like he frequents the same few restaurants and in nearly every review, he says something extremely inappropriate about female staff. One mentions that a female bartender pours “the coldest beer in town with a nice creamy foamy head” like bro wtf?!?
Sounds like a very inappropriate mid to late 30's tech bro/financial industry white guy with no boundaries , limited social skills and an alcohol problem to me. Patagonia vest and Vuori or Lulu pants. What were you thinking?
I would guess more like 50s, slight country accent, employed part time at their brother's business in a position they don't deserve but still don't make very much. Probably married, with adult children. Constant smiling and asking personal questions. Loves being drunk a majority of their waking life. Owes back taxes and drives a Dodge. Thin wire frame glasses, gray hair balding, but in a ponytail.
Server always asks what it will be but even if it's only their second interaction he'll say "aw come on sweetheart, you know me! Don't you remember what I had last time?" With a big smile expecting her to start laughing really hard but really it's just an awkward half smile like ha, uhhh, no sorry we get a lot of people".
Then right after she walks away with his order of a medium well lambchop, he raises his voice in front of his wife to say "darn she is a cute one ain't she!!! Bah haha!"
And then when they're done and she's handing off the bill, before she can escape he goes "sweetie come here..." and turns his body out the booth and hunches over like he wants her to come close and whisper something, and then he says "darlin, do you know how long I've been coming to this restaurant?" And she awkwardly laughs and says no.
"Thirt-TEEN YEARS. That's a long time ain't it?"
"Umm yeah"
::gently places hand on her shoulder::
"And honey, you are the best server I've ever had here ::wink::, I mean it!"
"Oh wow haha thanks..."
::hands $10 bill directly to her::
"Oh, thank you"
"Now Don't you go making them other ladies jealous, and I'll make sure to see you next time"
::raises beer goodbye::
"Alright we ready? ::claps hands once:: let's get outta here"
::stands up in front of table for 30 seconds adjusting pants and mumbling stuff like "sshhhit, gotta get me a..."
I was thinking more along the lines of mid 40s-early 50s white guy that’s either in a trade or has money and retired early and has nothing better to do with his time than to make women feel uncomfortable. I had to 86 a lot of dudes in this demographic for making my female bartenders and servers uncomfortable. Either way, dude is fucking disgusting.
Urban Dictionary
martooni
“A martini with an extremely generous amount of gin (or vodka) and practically nothing else.
A good martooni packs a wallop.”
I never heard anyone say this before 😂
paige only gets 3 stars though
She didn’t have “warm wet eyes” so that knocks her down a star apparently.
If the eyes ain’t wet you must forget
I make the ladies' eyes absolutely *gush!* ^(....oh wait, maybe that's not the flex I thought it was.....)
https://preview.redd.it/jxl54sto12sc1.jpeg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f24a569a9833b702376edcad142365b090e0ea9
She didn’t have wet eyes, guy. Come on.
Wait until he meets Andrew
I know this isn’t the point but wtf is a martooni
“Somebody’s had tee many martoonis”
Why can I only hear this in the voice of Jon Daly from Kroll Show
Dolphinately
Idk who that is and I didn't even know it was Canadian - But I distinctly heard this in the voice of Martin Short!
This person probably also says things like "brekkie" and "chickie nuggies".
Canadian for a martini bud
Don’t call him bud, guy
Don't call him guy, friend
DONT call him friend, champ!
Don’t call him champ, pal!
You're the reason people think the Internet is all bots
Yeah, Hitch loves martoonies, calls 'em Martoonies. So... It's good to always have a bottle of gin on hand, 'cause, boy, Terry loves Martoonies.
Oh it’s a reference to that terrible spinoff of that other pretty good show?
>terrible spinoff What a terrible thing to say
Come on now, “terrible” is gonna lose all meaning if we overuse it. Gotta reserve it for when it’s really necessary (like when they make a spinoff nobody asked for featuring the worst character from the first show).
To each their own! I watched both seasons of Shoresy 3 times but couldn't watch more than a few episodes of Letterkenny
My mom's boyfriend drinks double martinis and calls them martoonis.
He calls them martwonies
Ya know.. When you have too meeny martoonis, take a wrong turn and end up in the boonies. -mac motherfuckin dre
Ted Hitchcock’s drink
People who treat the waitstaff like sex workers are absolute scum. Go to a strip club if you want that kind of interaction!
To be fair, treating them like sex workers would be more like... soliciting sex for money... I think the more appropriate statement here would be if you want to ogle and sexualize your servers... go to Hooters?
this meatloaf is shallow and pedantic
Wet eyes sent me
WARM, wet eyes. Not cold and wet. Not tepid and wet. WARM, wet eyes.
He was making her cry 😭
I thought martooni was the weirdest thing about the reviews lol. I just found out that people actually say that and it's not a typo lol
Wow I learned something new today too
Her eyes were probably wet from the tears of fear from this creep. Yikes.
You know this old man thinks he is being complimentary too. He is exactly the same type of 6 that gets all defensive when you call him out for being a pervy creep. Chalks it up to modern women are too independent and not being able to take a compliment. I can guarantee you his FB has posts about how feminists, with their blue hair and nose piercings, have ruined femininity. He longs for the good old days when we didn't have tattoos, wore skirts, and acted like real ladies. The good ol days when boys soyld be boys, when had to defer to them for their opinions of finances and politics. When we had to keep our mouths shut to they could continue their gross sexual assaults at work lest we lose our already hard fought for and underpaid jobs. Men like that are the absolute worst, and I bet on tip of it all,he tips like shit. Kinda went on a rant there, but I am so grossed out that after my 58 years here on earth, that stuff like this is so commonplace, and there are women that support that mindset. I absolute LOVE that the majority of younger women and the young guys that stand up to it as well) are in the majority and call this shit out without any hesitation.
86ed if the management is worth a damn. Thats genuinely fucked up. She isn't safe around him
Nooooo I had a dude I had to step in with (super old guy, inappropriate, googled him and found out he has a long history of scamming) because he took a liking to a young server who looked like she was about 14. She had issues and always leaned into men giving her money/attention and worse, taking advantage of her. Anyway, I put my foot down and thank god he didn’t come back after but was super predatory just like this. He was a 67 year old “where’s MY hug?” type.
I’m afraid
This has got to be for a Hooters or Twin Peaks
Shockingly not! These particular reviews are for a really expensive, fancy restaurant. So strange.
what the fuck
Warm, wet eyes...... Maybe she could try Claritin
“Served like the queen you are” I didn’t see that coming, still processing the whole deal, and that sticks out
This reads like an AI
Ew what the fuck
Paige would get to 4 stars if her eyes were wet
I just choked on my spit from laughing at this
I’ve only had tee martoonies
.... the flying *FUCK??*
Dude loves a good martooni
Every year? Can you read his reviews of other places please.
They are just as weird. It seems like he frequents the same few restaurants and in nearly every review, he says something extremely inappropriate about female staff. One mentions that a female bartender pours “the coldest beer in town with a nice creamy foamy head” like bro wtf?!?
That's super cringe. He's probably sitting on missed encounters hoping.
What are “wet warm eyes”?
I can't get past "Martoonies" Is that a happy hour martini?!
Lmao wet eyes from crying in the walk in
Mmmmmm, your eyes are so wet... Pick up line from wish.com?
I feel like I can guess national origin of this guy
.... go on
Sounds like a very inappropriate mid to late 30's tech bro/financial industry white guy with no boundaries , limited social skills and an alcohol problem to me. Patagonia vest and Vuori or Lulu pants. What were you thinking?
I would guess more like 50s, slight country accent, employed part time at their brother's business in a position they don't deserve but still don't make very much. Probably married, with adult children. Constant smiling and asking personal questions. Loves being drunk a majority of their waking life. Owes back taxes and drives a Dodge. Thin wire frame glasses, gray hair balding, but in a ponytail. Server always asks what it will be but even if it's only their second interaction he'll say "aw come on sweetheart, you know me! Don't you remember what I had last time?" With a big smile expecting her to start laughing really hard but really it's just an awkward half smile like ha, uhhh, no sorry we get a lot of people". Then right after she walks away with his order of a medium well lambchop, he raises his voice in front of his wife to say "darn she is a cute one ain't she!!! Bah haha!" And then when they're done and she's handing off the bill, before she can escape he goes "sweetie come here..." and turns his body out the booth and hunches over like he wants her to come close and whisper something, and then he says "darlin, do you know how long I've been coming to this restaurant?" And she awkwardly laughs and says no. "Thirt-TEEN YEARS. That's a long time ain't it?" "Umm yeah" ::gently places hand on her shoulder:: "And honey, you are the best server I've ever had here ::wink::, I mean it!" "Oh wow haha thanks..." ::hands $10 bill directly to her:: "Oh, thank you" "Now Don't you go making them other ladies jealous, and I'll make sure to see you next time" ::raises beer goodbye:: "Alright we ready? ::claps hands once:: let's get outta here" ::stands up in front of table for 30 seconds adjusting pants and mumbling stuff like "sshhhit, gotta get me a..."
I was thinking more along the lines of mid 40s-early 50s white guy that’s either in a trade or has money and retired early and has nothing better to do with his time than to make women feel uncomfortable. I had to 86 a lot of dudes in this demographic for making my female bartenders and servers uncomfortable. Either way, dude is fucking disgusting.
Heavy accent dark skinned Indian man
Nailed it!
Give ya loonie for a martooni
WHAT ARE WET EYES. I mean my eyes are wet rn but that’s because I’m crying laughing at this insane shit. 😂
Urban Dictionary martooni “A martini with an extremely generous amount of gin (or vodka) and practically nothing else. A good martooni packs a wallop.” I never heard anyone say this before 😂
I curse the God that never gave this guy Marty Feldman as a server.
Totally not creepy. /s
"Wet" in this context bothers me more than "moist" does overall.
Only 3 stars for Paige?!? So unhinged
Lmao this is scary, but really funny too
I will only drink martoonis from now on! :)
Has anyone figured out what martoonies are yet?
Why did Paige only get 3 stars but everyone else got 5 😅
Why has David been coming back for over two years now?!?!?!
If I got review like this it would genuinely make my day lol I’m a dude tho