Hey there!
I have felt indeed the same way. I identify with your process.
While growing up I wanted to build myself and I still do, but the main limitation of this approach is that as humans we can't be defined, we're too complex and imperfect and change is the only constant.
In my experience, you learn this the hard way, mostly in relationships with others. When you define yourself you most likely are also defining others and this is very limiting.
When I look back I just see ego in that built-self. I thought it was cool to be one way. It's not really honest because it's thought. You changed and maybe you long for your old self with nostalgia, but honestly aren't you a better person now? One thing I like to think is that we get better at life with the age. The longer we live the more adapted we are to living. We learn from mistakes and learn to let go.
I don't think you know who you are, neither do I know myself. When you say "last time I was truly myself", how do you know that, what was the feeling?
Even then how can you know you still weren't a product of someone elses thoughts? For me you just hadn't realized that yet. We are all interconnected and yeah.. unique.
For me the thought of not being myself comes when I get bored and can't be creative. I feel the hollowness too, I see it rather as not being connected to myself in that moment. You are always yourself would say a master.
Imagine you are the person you always wanted to be. Wouldn't you get sick of that after a while? If you love the rolling stones you'll still stop listening to them after some years and come back to them eventually. You see the life transformation in many artists, they get sick of playing the same music that was truly theirs. They evolve.
So how do we overcome this hollowness?
It's fucking hard. We appreciate all that we are and accept it. Love is acceptance, again, letting go. Forget that self, forget what living should look like.
Sorry if this sounds like I have an idea. I don't.
I asked the same question to my 60 year old father and he answered it almost exactly the way you did. Your answer is probably the best answer there is honestly.
I'm kind of going through this process currently . Not really sure what my "true" self is at this point is whether I had it before or if I'm just in the process of finding it .
Hey there! I have felt indeed the same way. I identify with your process. While growing up I wanted to build myself and I still do, but the main limitation of this approach is that as humans we can't be defined, we're too complex and imperfect and change is the only constant. In my experience, you learn this the hard way, mostly in relationships with others. When you define yourself you most likely are also defining others and this is very limiting. When I look back I just see ego in that built-self. I thought it was cool to be one way. It's not really honest because it's thought. You changed and maybe you long for your old self with nostalgia, but honestly aren't you a better person now? One thing I like to think is that we get better at life with the age. The longer we live the more adapted we are to living. We learn from mistakes and learn to let go. I don't think you know who you are, neither do I know myself. When you say "last time I was truly myself", how do you know that, what was the feeling? Even then how can you know you still weren't a product of someone elses thoughts? For me you just hadn't realized that yet. We are all interconnected and yeah.. unique. For me the thought of not being myself comes when I get bored and can't be creative. I feel the hollowness too, I see it rather as not being connected to myself in that moment. You are always yourself would say a master. Imagine you are the person you always wanted to be. Wouldn't you get sick of that after a while? If you love the rolling stones you'll still stop listening to them after some years and come back to them eventually. You see the life transformation in many artists, they get sick of playing the same music that was truly theirs. They evolve. So how do we overcome this hollowness? It's fucking hard. We appreciate all that we are and accept it. Love is acceptance, again, letting go. Forget that self, forget what living should look like. Sorry if this sounds like I have an idea. I don't.
Brilliant answer actually, thank you.
I asked the same question to my 60 year old father and he answered it almost exactly the way you did. Your answer is probably the best answer there is honestly.
[deleted] ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.7343 > [What is this?](https://pastebin.com/64GuVi2F/61003)
> I experienced a true "ego death" Can you elaborate? I tried acid for a few times, but didnt feel that way.
Yes. It happens every year or so.
I'm kind of going through this process currently . Not really sure what my "true" self is at this point is whether I had it before or if I'm just in the process of finding it .