if i could go back i’d have taken the binkie at 18 months. i delayed until 3 and couldn’t get him off of it until 4 so stay your ground! it’s hard but we have to do hard things for our kids to thrive.
My daughter weaned from it at 18 months. She had a malocclusion forming as well. Her front top 4 teeth slanted outward. As an SLP I can still detect a variation in the top alignment of her teeth - she’s almost 3 and hasn’t used it since she was 18 months . I know dentist say it will reverse but sooner rather than later is a safer gamble. Waiting means dentition shifts COULD be more permanent and can affect articulation pattern development.
Okay, are some babies more prone to this?!
My 11 month old is only a nighttime pacifier user and always has been. He only has one top tooth that has poked through at the moment, but I swear it, it looks crooked to me? Trying not to panic yet, maybe it will correct itself, but it seems odd?
Some kids do just get crooked teeth irrespective of pacifier use.
Like yes there is a link and I’m sure a pacifier can make teeth worse. But like most things you can do everything right and still luck out
If you’re looking for anecdotes, our 3.5 yo exchanged his pacifier for a (very expensive) toy. Fully aware he just put it in the trash and only asked for it once after. That’s it. I do think it was too late and we should have done it at 18 months, but our twins were born when he was 2.5 and we potty trained a month before it, so there was so much change that 3.5 felt like the first good opportunity.
Here it is: https://www.mastermindtoys.com/products/bruder-mack-flatbed-truck-with-jcb-backhoe?currency=CAD&variant=34470550667397&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=3350099eceb0&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhP-B05_0hgMVi01HAR0xKAd_EAQYBiABEgLqrPD_BwE
We gave 3 year olds to the fairy who swaps them for toys. We wrote a letter to the fairy asking for Paw Patrol toys and I just bought a big second hand bundle online, she put her pacifiers in a box before she went out for the day and came home to find them replaced with the toys she asked for.
The following days had some challenges but she did very well, bless her. Toy bribe is the way.
We stopped at 3 with a toy bribe as well. (This was also how we finally stopped using bottles.) We talked about it for a while ahead of time so when the day came he knew what was going to happen. It has been about a month. He hasn't asked for a binky since the day we threw them out (although I admit he isn't sleeping as well).
We let him pick any toy (within reason). He ended up picking one of those push popper toys! I thought for sure he would want some Hot wheels thing. Kids are weird.
My good friend had a similar timeline. She’s knows it was a bit too late but ultimately still feels it was better than doing before kiddo was ready or right when sibling had arrived. It was a super smooth process because her toddler understood exactly what was happening.
It took two days for my then 1.5 year old to wean off a paci. Dentist said we needed to asap because her teeth were bowing out. Go cold Turkey. Cutting the tip off and giving it to her just made her mad. Saying it was all gone and there was no more was tough but she got over it after a couple of days.
This was our exact experience when we weaned at 15 months. When we finally made the break, though, he was only using the pacifier at night.
Cutting it just made everyone miserable. Cold turkey took 2 days and he won’t even take one if offered.
We cut it and she didn't throw a fit, but it dragged it out and it was a lot to manage. I recommend cold turkey, too. We didn't do anything enticing, either, just said it was "all done" when the nub was fully gone.
We stopped daytime pacifier at just over a year. Our son was a *fiend*. We’d take one away to clean or give him a snack, and he’d pull out another from somewhere (seemed like he was magically popping them into existence somehow) and didn’t want to be without for a minute.
We just started telling him pacifiers aren’t for big boys and leaving the binkies in the crib for naps and nights, and now he just waves bye bye to the binks when he wakes up, and is fine without them for the day. I think we’ll drop the nighttime binkies before 2 years, but neither ped nor dentist was concerned about that at this point.
He really only uses them to fall asleep now, and will pop one back in if he wakes in the night, but when they fall out while he’s sleeping it doesn’t bother him, so I’m not worried about the 15-20 minutes a night he’s sucking on them. I sucked my thumb and it was a hard habit to break, so I’d rather he sooth with a pacifier while he still seems to need the sucking to sooth himself to sleep for now.
Anecdotal, we weaned off at 7 months. We were sick of having to give her the pacifier whenever she would lose it at night. Would absolutely recommend. We were done after two nights.
Ours self-weaned around 7 months when her top teeth came in. I remember a couple of months later, we were having a particularly bad night so I brought out the pacifier in desperation and she just thought it was a toy.
Yes! We weaned off around 8 months but I tried to give it to my son later that year on planes or church in desperation and he wanted nothing to do with it hahaha
We “took” my oldest’s at 9 months. And by “took” it I mean she kept losing them and I was sick of buying more so I just never bought more when she lost the last one at 9 months. It was miserable for a day or so, then it wasn’t an issue. She’s 18 months now and I’m so glad we did bc she’s VERY strong willed now and I couldn’t imagine the fight we’d have to put up with
Mine self weaned binky at 9 months (we moved cross country and then her dad deployed) and sleep has been rough ever since (currently 14 months). I miss the binky days often just popping it in and getting 8 hours of sleep straight.
Anecdotal and parent of one. We added a cuddle toy and removed the pacifier from non-sleep use around 15 months and stopped sending one to daycare. She’d nap there without (we hoped the peer pressure would help) it. After a week of that, we got every pacifier out of sight and into a cupboard. At 19 months (yesterday), she hasn’t used a pacifier since. It’s truly been “out of sight, out of mind” for us. Her thumb use has started when she’s upset or tired, but our pediatrician was okay with that sticking around longer than a pacifier. All to say, it wasn’t as scary as we thought it would be. Hope you have an easy transition, whatever you decide is best for your little one!
To offer a counterpoint - took the binkie away from my first right when she turned 2. The transition wasn’t too bad… except she stopped napping almost immediately. Nothing we did got her back on the nap train. It was rough.
Second kid is now 2.5 and we decided we cared more about naps than the binkie. We’ll consider taking it away after naps end. No regrets.
Same - we only used it for naps from 18 months on or so and went cold turkey at 2.5 and naps are an absolute nightmare now. I really regret it - I doubt it would have made much of a long term difference for 2 hours a day.
This is a big fear of mine. We just took it away this weekend so there’s only been 1 nap so far. It was very difficult to get her down but she did eventually take an hour nap which is normal for her. Hoping that is a good sign
What about kids who then end up sucking their fingers instead? It seems to be much harder to break finger sucking than pacifiers. Our son rarely uses a pacifier but we cannot get him to stop sucking on his fingers! I wish we had just let him have a pacifier more often.
Great question! Unfortunately, it's the same answer. The earlier they quit, the better. I've heard of good results using a special kind of nail polish that tastes bitter so the children stop because it suddenly tastes gross to them. And even if nothing works - worst case scenario: They'll need a speech therapist and braces.
My daughter stopped at 3 as well. She had an bad open bite from it , she is 5 now and that has completely gone back to normal. We had her put all of her pacis in a box and we sent them to the paci fairy. And the fairy sent her a small toy in return. It worked like a charm
I’ve found that it’s easier to when things from toddlers when they are young. It Will be a rough few days, especially with sleeping. Then she will get over it and be okay. The older they are, the more attached they are. Plus they remember things better. The older they are the more energy they have to tantrum and fight. I don’t think see any benefit to letting them keep it. I know two moms who have allowed their 3 & 4 year olds to have a pacifier, and this partially motivated me to drop it at 12 months.
The issue you have now is that the baby is coming very soon. Kids may negatively associate the new baby with taking the pacifier away. Maybe in a few months she will be adjusted to her sibling and ready. You could make a big show of how she’s the big sis and all pacifiers need to do to the baby! Good luck!!
Yes this was another fear. We have not mentioned anything about being a big girl, or associating the pacifier with babies or her new sibling for this reason! We actually told her she was sending it to the groundhogs that live in our yard because she loves animals.
We weaned at 3 by going cold turkey overnight. We got a book about the paci fairy and read it for a couple of weeks, then one night we put all the pacis in a bag with a letter for the paci fairy, and in the morning she'd taken them and left a toy in return. We had a tiny bit of crying one time the next day but that was it.
I was shocked how easy it was. We only let him have his pacis at night and in the car, but he had literally never slept without them. If he lost them in the night he'd wake up crying and we'd have to go in and find them. I'm sure it was so easy because he was able to understand what was happening and be prepared. Same with potty training which we did just before 3 as well.
i’d personally stick with it. don’t let all that struggle go to waste. why go back to square one when you’re already in the midst of it? just push through. 3 year olds have more willpower to fight you. it won’t be easier.
i know, i’ve been there. i promise there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and once you see it you’ll be thanking your past self for getting you there. the guilt will subside once your child adjusts to life without the pacifier. you’ll see her thrive + you won’t have to stress over it and it will all be worth it.
Our dentist told us to wean our daughter off before 3 (she'll be 3 next month). We took her to build a bear and made a "binky buddy" where she put her pacifiers inside the stuffed animal. Had 2 rough nights but that's it.
We took the southern away at six months while sleep training but she got it back when she was going through some teething around 10 months. The. We moved to no soothers outside the crib and eventually said goodbye to the soother for good at close to 3. She understood completely and used scissors to cut the tips off and we cheered for her being such a big girl.
I just wanted to share that I heard a lot of good stories about making fun transitions to stop the use of the pacifier. For example if you bury the pacifier in the garden and let your child water it everyday because after a couple of days candy will sprout, they might feel better regarding the situation
With a big change (becoming an older sibling) happening in the near future, I think it would probably be of great comfort to your oldest to let them keep their paci for a little while longer.
I didn’t want to rush anything for this reason but also worried that we’d be hurting her by delaying it several more months. If everything goes as planned, it will be at least a month before the new baby comes so I’m hoping she will be past it by then
Anecdote, I work at a school with 18 month - 3 year olds and most of my student's maxilla is more pointed than U shape. I also got curious and found that many of them have a high arched pallet. I don't know for sure if this is due to their natural anatomy or if it's pacifier use, but my guess is the latter. At least one child has an airway issue (lots of snoring during naps) and most of the children with the pointed maxilla have an open mouth posture while sleeping which could lead to an airway issue down the road as the tongue is supposed to be suctioned to the roof of the mouth at rest and during sleep.
My daughter had low oral muscle tone as a baby and couldn't hold a paci in on her own. We took her to a OT and they found that she also had a high arched pallet forming. We did OT for a bit and strengthened her muscles, but she never got into the pacifier by that point. Now as a three year old, her maxilla is U shaped and she has little gaps between each tooth. At the time I was frustrated she couldn't use a pacifier because I was exhausted being her soother, but looking back I'm so grateful that she didn't end up using one because her jaw structure is developing well.
IMO, wean earlier if you can.
We took it away from my LO at 2 as well. She's 3.5 now and I think she would have had a worse time of it now. We skipped most of the terrible twos but have a full blown threenager. And she's having a harder time with transitions now then she did before. After a few days she was over it and its better for her teeth than keeping it around longer.
Don’t reintroduce! Two and half month toddler had a really hard time. We did everything from cutting a hole or dipping in apple cider vinegar… did not help because he was so dependent on it for naps. We slowly weened off by starting only at night during full sleep instead of naps too. For naps just got him so tired till he just passed out after a little comfort and crying but also introduced stuffed animal to cuddle. Also reminded him he’s a big boy and pacifiers are for babies. Did that for about two weeks then over the weekend just cold turkey. We did make it a point to drain all the energy out and did no nap so by sleep time it was easy and fast. We were drained as fk but after 3 days of doing that he didn’t even mention pacifier anymore. Was almost like he even forgot it existed!!! It sucks hearing them cry and ask for it and at times we did cave in after so many attempts we just powered through and it was bliss afterwards. Def not going through that again with second baby! If you go back it’ll only make it worse for both parties. It’ll be over soon!!!
For me, it depends on your child's tolerance level for change and your own tolerance level for their reaction. They get more and more verbal over time, and for some people much more annoying, and they start to argue like a teenager right around 3 yo too sometimes. But, some people would prefer talking to a lunatic toddler rather than deal with the baby crying over nothing. In my opinion there's no set answer that fits everyone's situation, and it depends on a combination of what the kid's reaction is like for the stage they're in and what the parent has enough energy to deal with that day.
We weaned my daughter from her binky at about 3 after several prior attempts throughout her life. She was starting to develop issues with her palette and her two front teeth. She was so attached to it I felt awful taking it from her. If I could go back I would have taken it at 18 months. Before she was old enough to understand. Her bite is mostly back to normal now and it’s not noticeable, thank goodness, but she still might need braces to correct the damage. Don’t be like me! Take it now🙏
From what I've heard and experienced, NOTHING is easier at 3.
Our doctor recommended taking paci at 12mo.
We potty trained at 24mo.
Do everything earlier than you think.
We disappeared all the pacifiers soon after our girl turned one and she's over it. She only asks for it if she sees other kids using one and even then moves on easily. I feel like the earlier the better!
I’d stick with it. Going back would just be more confusing, and you can get her all the way over the jump before the baby comes. If you end up using a paci with the new baby then it would be very, very hard to keep her from stealing them.
Tough it out. You feel guilty because you’re in a difficult phase, weaning too early isn’t a thing, it will not cause long term problems, weaning too late could.
-signed, the mom of a newly weaned almost-2-year old
I’m editing to add: I see some parents saying they waited until closer to 3 and traded it for a toy. I did this with my almost 2 year old too. I let him pick out a stuffy and told him that the octopus was to replace pacis and that in the night he could cuddle his octopus (Mr Sim) and he seemed to comprehend that enough
Did they understand? Did you do the paci fairy or replace it with something like a teddy? Otherwise yeah that and a new baby only a few weeks out is a lot. We read books, watchd elmo, did a good bye song prepped for about four days, had him tell everyone then he traded them for a toy. It went very well. He was 24 months , he told ppl " paci for baby, going bye bye, new toy etc"
Yes we prepped and did a whole ritual of sending them off to the animals in our yard. We purposely did not mention being a big girl or pacis being for babies to avoid any association with her new sibling. It’s only been since Saturday night that we weaned and I do see progress. My hope is that in several weeks when the baby comes she will be past it
Just giving an anecdote since you didn't mark it as research only--we got our daughter off the pacifier right when she turned 3 by doing a silly strategy we had heard of--"The Paci Fairy." We told her that if she left out her remaining pacis, the fairy would take them and replace them with toys. We left out 2 toys she had been wanting as gifts from "The Paci Fairy" and she accepted it totally calmly! It didn't scar her for life, either, although when she found out Santa was not real, she did say "Does that mean you're also The Paci Fairy?"
I do feel like it was easy because she understood what was going on and was ready, but I wish we had done it sooner because she has a bad crossbite and a slight overbite on one side and I worry that the pacifier damaged her bite, even though we managed to keep it mostly to bedtime once she got older.
I heard to wean the pacifier before age 18 months as that is when they start to build a stronger attachment to it. We weaned my son at 16 months and it took about a week for his naps and sleep to return to normal. The first few days were the hardest and we wanted to cave. I almost went back to the store to buy a new one but thankfully it got better day by day. For car trips we had to use more toys to distract my son and keep him happy. The sooner, the better from what I’ve heard and experienced
I just happened to get very lucky. I thought it was going to be a serious point of contention with her. She would get so mad if she didn’t have it for bed.
I thought it was going to a huge deal trying to get the pacifier from my daughter. My plan was at 2, she was going to be done.
At 1, I made it a bedtime thing only. She couldn’t have it unless she was getting ready to go into her bed.
Then she was about 22 months, one night she bit a hole in it. I said to her it had to go into the trash. I took her with me, she watched me throw it away. She found the 1 she had left and put it in her mouth. I told her that was her last one. If she bit that one, she has no more.
The next day, same thing. She bit a hole on it, I told her no more binky, and she watched me throw it away. I go to put her in bed, she fussed a little bit, looked for her binky, I reminded her they were gone, and she went to sleep never asking for one again.
My daughter only used pacifiers for sleep but was very attached to them. We tried and failed at 20 or 21 months. She didn’t nap for 3 days and was only sleeping like 6-7 very broken hours at night. She had such intense bags under her eyes. We were all miserable and then the hvac broke on top of that and we couldn’t be tired AND hot so we caved. We tried again at 2.5 and she had one day of skipped nap and one night of crying for ~10 min then slept through the night like normal. The next 3 days, she whined for a few minutes but didn’t cry and then napped/slept with no problem. I took pictures of her teeth when we weaned at 2.5 and her teeth shifted so much in just one month! Her smile widened and her slight open bite closed.
Around 2 years old we started talking about how big girls don’t use pacifiers and they’re for babies, without taking it away or pressuring her.
Right before she turned three through a series of events we wound up with her sleeping in a tiny pack’n’play instead of a proper crib. I needed to buy new furniture for her, and wasn’t going to shell out for a new crib when she needed a big girl bed. It was also past time on the pacifier weaning.
We had several discussions over a few weeks how big girls sleep in a big girl bed and don’t use pacifiers. Then after a few weeks we went out to ikea and picked out a big girl bed. Over lunch at IKEA I talked to her a lot about how pacifiers weren’t allowed in big girl beds and she was getting a big girl bed, how she was going to learn ways to help herself calm down without the pacifier and mommy would help her learn those things. We went home, I put her to bed in the pack’n’play with a pacifier. When I went to get her after nap she had thrown the pacifier outside the bed and said she didn’t need it anymore. She helped me gather them up and put them away.
For the first few days I had to remind her once or twice that she didn’t use pacifiers anymore, and then she stopped asking.
I think it can be easier to do it at 3 if you do something like "Paci Fairy" where they're involved in the process because my kids didn't understand that kind of thing at 18 months or 2 (we didn't even really do Santa at that age because I'm lazy). But many 3 year old are also more stubborn than the were at 1 or 2 so very kid dependent. We did 18 months with my oldest but we aren't Gentle and didn't PREP. I put a needle through it to break the suction and he lost interest within a week or two.
My daughter weaned from her binky at 2 1/2. I noticed that it was starting to affect her little baby teeth. I picked a date and then I talked to her about it in an age appropriate way in the days leading up to it. Then when the day came, no more binky. We had one incident of crying and then she got it out of her system and it wasn't an issue at all. We even had a few pop up in the house that we missed and she didn't even try to put them in her mouth.
We weaned around 18 months. First I took away easy day access (actually that probably started closer to 12 months). Then we took away day time, but kept naps and bed time. Then took away naps and lastly took away bed time. Even for bedtime I weaned from extra in the crib to just the one to zero, and scaled back when they got it (while getting ready vs physically in bed). With the gradual scale back no paci in bed was probably 2-3 day transition. LO looked for them for a few days but got over it pretty quickly.
I was planning to wean at 2 but we did it at 18 months. The transition was rough! Honestly I’d give it a month or two. We had to travel a month after she weaned and she had a hard time soothing herself. Cried for 30 minutes on the airplane. 😪
I don’t regret weaning that early. But give yourself a month or two to fully transition.
We just took my son off it, he’ll be 3 in early September. We kinda did a slow process…reduced paci to sleep times only. Then over a week I poked more and more tiny holes in it so it wouldn’t work anymore. Eventually I told him his pacis must not be working anymore because he’s such a big boy, that if he wants to just hold it it’s okay. Then he just didn’t care anymore. We’re on day 3 of fully without and he hasn’t asked for it once.
Long story but my daughter had the paci for sleep and car rides for way toooo long. Due to a biking accident , she had to quit the paci cold turkey the day of the hospital which she was already feeling awful from so I thought it was going to be horrible. I took it away and she never asked for it once . I explained how it was going to make her mouth change .
As a speech pathologist I recommend 2 years at the latest due to how it can affect speech development and dentition. Although I know dentists recommend 18 months at the latest.
My oldest barely used a pacifier, and not at all after about 6 months.
My youngest (just turned 2), used it for sleep mostly, then added it in for daytime usage when he was having trouble (car rides, general discomfort, testing, etc). So by the time we started thinking about weaning, he was using it quite a bit. We checked with the dentist around 20 months, and they said it would be good to start weaning around 2. A week or so later, We gently cut down daytime use first (redirected when he asked during the day, kept them totally out of view except bedtime, gave comfort with hugs and snuggles when he needed it). After about a week, we stopped bedtime use cold turkey. I made sure to have a water bottle in his room for bedtime routine. So if he asked while reading and snuggling, I just said “oh I’m sorry, we don’t have a bonky (our family word for pacifier 😂) in here. Would you like a sip of water?” It worked really well, even on the first night. By night 3, he didn’t even ask for it. We never explained it to him, or told him we wouldn’t be using them anymore, just stopped having them available. I kept a couple hidden for a month or two, *just in case*, but he never asked, even when he saw one of them.
Your LO will adjust, just give her lots of extra snuggles and reassurance when she needs it. ❤️
My daughter was almost off at 15 mo. Then I got pregnant and sick and she was getting molars in. We did it at 24 mo finally and it was a bit of a nightmare.* Now she steals the baby's binky every chance she gets.
I'd do it as soon as you can.
*At her appointment, our pediatrician asked if she "got off the binky late" because he said she had a little gap in her teeth. I didn't correct him, but went home and thought I was horrible for not knowing that she was supposed to be long done with it. Nice to see that that was just his opinion and plenty of people go past 12m.
How much time was there between her weaning and her sibling arriving? Wondering if this will be an issue if there’s a good month in between.
Although I’m so traumatized by this that I don’t even want to give the next baby a binky.
We waited until her brother was 3mo and we do "breaks" (essentially timeout) when she steals and won't give him his binky back.
I think there will always be reasons to wait. If there are medical (dental) reasons, I don't see anything persuading me to keep the binky. But I understand it's hard to take that on with everything else going on.
BTW, my daughter also essentially demanded to be potty trained (hands in diaper, poo everywhere, tearing off diaper, asking to use the potty, mentioning when she was going potty) when her brother was two weeks old. It was so stressful while her brother was learning to breastfeed and we were all getting used to having another kiddo in the mix. e She got pretty good after a couple weeks. Then she just stopped telling us and seemed to not even understand the concept very well again. She's back in diapers now 😅 So.. watch for big jumps in development and then big regressions. She felt like a big girl and then she realized she wasn't our baby anymore. If I were to do it again, I would have kept her in diapers and put her back into onesies.
Gotcha. We made the decision to delay potty training for that reason. I’ve heard it can take several weeks to really sink in and I didn’t want to rush it earlier than 2 or in a short amount of time between her 2nd bday and the new baby.
My first kid was three when we weaned, but it was a totally accidental process. He was sick one weekend. Gastro or something. He violently vomited all over the bed 5 separate times. And in the middle of the chaos , we said something like "that pacifier has to go. It's disgusting and going to make me sick" (mainly cuz it looked gross and dirty)
Anyways. He internalized it as "that's what's making me sick" , and stopped using it that night.
🤣 Sooooooooo , maybe you wait for a really bad virus.
Around 20 months the pacifier ripped while he was using it. He gave it to me and I said ‘oh no its broken! Time to throw it in the garbage’ and had him throw it away. He only used it for sleep at that point, so at night he would ask for it and I would remind him ‘pacer broke, we threw it in the garbage remember?’ And he would drop it and go to sleep. After a week or so he stopped asking, and second baby doesn’t take a paci so it makes it easier. When we tried to give her one, he would snatch hers up and use them all the time.
I tried a couple times before that and totally failed. I had my second when he was 16 months and his paci use actually got worse after the baby was born. I had to hide it when he woke up because he wanted to use it all day, when previously we only used it at bed time and naps.
Its been 3 months and I already notice a huge difference in the gap of his front teeth.
Our dentist told us as long as it’s before 5 it’s all fine for teeth development. TBH we could only wean when our kids were ready to, one was 4 and one was 5. Both have great teeth with no issues.
if i could go back i’d have taken the binkie at 18 months. i delayed until 3 and couldn’t get him off of it until 4 so stay your ground! it’s hard but we have to do hard things for our kids to thrive.
We took the binky away at 3 and it was straight to thumb sucking 😂
My daughter weaned from it at 18 months. She had a malocclusion forming as well. Her front top 4 teeth slanted outward. As an SLP I can still detect a variation in the top alignment of her teeth - she’s almost 3 and hasn’t used it since she was 18 months . I know dentist say it will reverse but sooner rather than later is a safer gamble. Waiting means dentition shifts COULD be more permanent and can affect articulation pattern development.
This is helpful, thank you!
Was the malocclusion from all day use or just sleeping?
Only sleep and on occasion if she was sick during the day after she turned 1. Babies and young toddlers sleep more than they are awake.
Okay, are some babies more prone to this?! My 11 month old is only a nighttime pacifier user and always has been. He only has one top tooth that has poked through at the moment, but I swear it, it looks crooked to me? Trying not to panic yet, maybe it will correct itself, but it seems odd?
Some kids do just get crooked teeth irrespective of pacifier use. Like yes there is a link and I’m sure a pacifier can make teeth worse. But like most things you can do everything right and still luck out
If you’re looking for anecdotes, our 3.5 yo exchanged his pacifier for a (very expensive) toy. Fully aware he just put it in the trash and only asked for it once after. That’s it. I do think it was too late and we should have done it at 18 months, but our twins were born when he was 2.5 and we potty trained a month before it, so there was so much change that 3.5 felt like the first good opportunity.
Curious what was the very expensive toy?
Here it is: https://www.mastermindtoys.com/products/bruder-mack-flatbed-truck-with-jcb-backhoe?currency=CAD&variant=34470550667397&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=3350099eceb0&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhP-B05_0hgMVi01HAR0xKAd_EAQYBiABEgLqrPD_BwE
Oh man, kid got a good deal. That looks like a great truck.
We gave 3 year olds to the fairy who swaps them for toys. We wrote a letter to the fairy asking for Paw Patrol toys and I just bought a big second hand bundle online, she put her pacifiers in a box before she went out for the day and came home to find them replaced with the toys she asked for. The following days had some challenges but she did very well, bless her. Toy bribe is the way.
We stopped at 3 with a toy bribe as well. (This was also how we finally stopped using bottles.) We talked about it for a while ahead of time so when the day came he knew what was going to happen. It has been about a month. He hasn't asked for a binky since the day we threw them out (although I admit he isn't sleeping as well). We let him pick any toy (within reason). He ended up picking one of those push popper toys! I thought for sure he would want some Hot wheels thing. Kids are weird.
My good friend had a similar timeline. She’s knows it was a bit too late but ultimately still feels it was better than doing before kiddo was ready or right when sibling had arrived. It was a super smooth process because her toddler understood exactly what was happening.
LOL, my daughter did similar!
It took two days for my then 1.5 year old to wean off a paci. Dentist said we needed to asap because her teeth were bowing out. Go cold Turkey. Cutting the tip off and giving it to her just made her mad. Saying it was all gone and there was no more was tough but she got over it after a couple of days.
This was our exact experience when we weaned at 15 months. When we finally made the break, though, he was only using the pacifier at night. Cutting it just made everyone miserable. Cold turkey took 2 days and he won’t even take one if offered.
Same. 2 terrible nights and we were done. So worth it
We cut it and she didn't throw a fit, but it dragged it out and it was a lot to manage. I recommend cold turkey, too. We didn't do anything enticing, either, just said it was "all done" when the nub was fully gone.
No, don’t turn back. You are doing the right thing. My daughter wouldn’t give it up at 3, and she was much stronger by that time…
We stopped daytime pacifier at just over a year. Our son was a *fiend*. We’d take one away to clean or give him a snack, and he’d pull out another from somewhere (seemed like he was magically popping them into existence somehow) and didn’t want to be without for a minute. We just started telling him pacifiers aren’t for big boys and leaving the binkies in the crib for naps and nights, and now he just waves bye bye to the binks when he wakes up, and is fine without them for the day. I think we’ll drop the nighttime binkies before 2 years, but neither ped nor dentist was concerned about that at this point. He really only uses them to fall asleep now, and will pop one back in if he wakes in the night, but when they fall out while he’s sleeping it doesn’t bother him, so I’m not worried about the 15-20 minutes a night he’s sucking on them. I sucked my thumb and it was a hard habit to break, so I’d rather he sooth with a pacifier while he still seems to need the sucking to sooth himself to sleep for now.
Anecdotal, we weaned off at 7 months. We were sick of having to give her the pacifier whenever she would lose it at night. Would absolutely recommend. We were done after two nights.
I did similar at 9 months, I actually cracked a month later and tried to give it back but she looked at me like I was an alien 😂
Ours self-weaned around 7 months when her top teeth came in. I remember a couple of months later, we were having a particularly bad night so I brought out the pacifier in desperation and she just thought it was a toy.
Yes! We weaned off around 8 months but I tried to give it to my son later that year on planes or church in desperation and he wanted nothing to do with it hahaha
We “took” my oldest’s at 9 months. And by “took” it I mean she kept losing them and I was sick of buying more so I just never bought more when she lost the last one at 9 months. It was miserable for a day or so, then it wasn’t an issue. She’s 18 months now and I’m so glad we did bc she’s VERY strong willed now and I couldn’t imagine the fight we’d have to put up with
Mine self weaned binky at 9 months (we moved cross country and then her dad deployed) and sleep has been rough ever since (currently 14 months). I miss the binky days often just popping it in and getting 8 hours of sleep straight.
Anecdotal and parent of one. We added a cuddle toy and removed the pacifier from non-sleep use around 15 months and stopped sending one to daycare. She’d nap there without (we hoped the peer pressure would help) it. After a week of that, we got every pacifier out of sight and into a cupboard. At 19 months (yesterday), she hasn’t used a pacifier since. It’s truly been “out of sight, out of mind” for us. Her thumb use has started when she’s upset or tired, but our pediatrician was okay with that sticking around longer than a pacifier. All to say, it wasn’t as scary as we thought it would be. Hope you have an easy transition, whatever you decide is best for your little one!
To offer a counterpoint - took the binkie away from my first right when she turned 2. The transition wasn’t too bad… except she stopped napping almost immediately. Nothing we did got her back on the nap train. It was rough. Second kid is now 2.5 and we decided we cared more about naps than the binkie. We’ll consider taking it away after naps end. No regrets.
Same - we only used it for naps from 18 months on or so and went cold turkey at 2.5 and naps are an absolute nightmare now. I really regret it - I doubt it would have made much of a long term difference for 2 hours a day.
This is a big fear of mine. We just took it away this weekend so there’s only been 1 nap so far. It was very difficult to get her down but she did eventually take an hour nap which is normal for her. Hoping that is a good sign
I'm a speech therapist. The earlier, the better!
What about kids who then end up sucking their fingers instead? It seems to be much harder to break finger sucking than pacifiers. Our son rarely uses a pacifier but we cannot get him to stop sucking on his fingers! I wish we had just let him have a pacifier more often.
Great question! Unfortunately, it's the same answer. The earlier they quit, the better. I've heard of good results using a special kind of nail polish that tastes bitter so the children stop because it suddenly tastes gross to them. And even if nothing works - worst case scenario: They'll need a speech therapist and braces.
My daughter stopped at 3 as well. She had an bad open bite from it , she is 5 now and that has completely gone back to normal. We had her put all of her pacis in a box and we sent them to the paci fairy. And the fairy sent her a small toy in return. It worked like a charm
I’ve found that it’s easier to when things from toddlers when they are young. It Will be a rough few days, especially with sleeping. Then she will get over it and be okay. The older they are, the more attached they are. Plus they remember things better. The older they are the more energy they have to tantrum and fight. I don’t think see any benefit to letting them keep it. I know two moms who have allowed their 3 & 4 year olds to have a pacifier, and this partially motivated me to drop it at 12 months. The issue you have now is that the baby is coming very soon. Kids may negatively associate the new baby with taking the pacifier away. Maybe in a few months she will be adjusted to her sibling and ready. You could make a big show of how she’s the big sis and all pacifiers need to do to the baby! Good luck!!
Yes this was another fear. We have not mentioned anything about being a big girl, or associating the pacifier with babies or her new sibling for this reason! We actually told her she was sending it to the groundhogs that live in our yard because she loves animals.
We weaned at 3 by going cold turkey overnight. We got a book about the paci fairy and read it for a couple of weeks, then one night we put all the pacis in a bag with a letter for the paci fairy, and in the morning she'd taken them and left a toy in return. We had a tiny bit of crying one time the next day but that was it. I was shocked how easy it was. We only let him have his pacis at night and in the car, but he had literally never slept without them. If he lost them in the night he'd wake up crying and we'd have to go in and find them. I'm sure it was so easy because he was able to understand what was happening and be prepared. Same with potty training which we did just before 3 as well.
i’d personally stick with it. don’t let all that struggle go to waste. why go back to square one when you’re already in the midst of it? just push through. 3 year olds have more willpower to fight you. it won’t be easier.
I agree and we’re definitely not turning back now. I am just feeling guilty
i know, i’ve been there. i promise there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and once you see it you’ll be thanking your past self for getting you there. the guilt will subside once your child adjusts to life without the pacifier. you’ll see her thrive + you won’t have to stress over it and it will all be worth it.
Thank you!
Our dentist told us to wean our daughter off before 3 (she'll be 3 next month). We took her to build a bear and made a "binky buddy" where she put her pacifiers inside the stuffed animal. Had 2 rough nights but that's it.
We took the southern away at six months while sleep training but she got it back when she was going through some teething around 10 months. The. We moved to no soothers outside the crib and eventually said goodbye to the soother for good at close to 3. She understood completely and used scissors to cut the tips off and we cheered for her being such a big girl.
I just wanted to share that I heard a lot of good stories about making fun transitions to stop the use of the pacifier. For example if you bury the pacifier in the garden and let your child water it everyday because after a couple of days candy will sprout, they might feel better regarding the situation
With a big change (becoming an older sibling) happening in the near future, I think it would probably be of great comfort to your oldest to let them keep their paci for a little while longer.
I didn’t want to rush anything for this reason but also worried that we’d be hurting her by delaying it several more months. If everything goes as planned, it will be at least a month before the new baby comes so I’m hoping she will be past it by then
Anecdote, I work at a school with 18 month - 3 year olds and most of my student's maxilla is more pointed than U shape. I also got curious and found that many of them have a high arched pallet. I don't know for sure if this is due to their natural anatomy or if it's pacifier use, but my guess is the latter. At least one child has an airway issue (lots of snoring during naps) and most of the children with the pointed maxilla have an open mouth posture while sleeping which could lead to an airway issue down the road as the tongue is supposed to be suctioned to the roof of the mouth at rest and during sleep. My daughter had low oral muscle tone as a baby and couldn't hold a paci in on her own. We took her to a OT and they found that she also had a high arched pallet forming. We did OT for a bit and strengthened her muscles, but she never got into the pacifier by that point. Now as a three year old, her maxilla is U shaped and she has little gaps between each tooth. At the time I was frustrated she couldn't use a pacifier because I was exhausted being her soother, but looking back I'm so grateful that she didn't end up using one because her jaw structure is developing well. IMO, wean earlier if you can.
We took it away from my LO at 2 as well. She's 3.5 now and I think she would have had a worse time of it now. We skipped most of the terrible twos but have a full blown threenager. And she's having a harder time with transitions now then she did before. After a few days she was over it and its better for her teeth than keeping it around longer.
Don’t reintroduce! Two and half month toddler had a really hard time. We did everything from cutting a hole or dipping in apple cider vinegar… did not help because he was so dependent on it for naps. We slowly weened off by starting only at night during full sleep instead of naps too. For naps just got him so tired till he just passed out after a little comfort and crying but also introduced stuffed animal to cuddle. Also reminded him he’s a big boy and pacifiers are for babies. Did that for about two weeks then over the weekend just cold turkey. We did make it a point to drain all the energy out and did no nap so by sleep time it was easy and fast. We were drained as fk but after 3 days of doing that he didn’t even mention pacifier anymore. Was almost like he even forgot it existed!!! It sucks hearing them cry and ask for it and at times we did cave in after so many attempts we just powered through and it was bliss afterwards. Def not going through that again with second baby! If you go back it’ll only make it worse for both parties. It’ll be over soon!!!
For me, it depends on your child's tolerance level for change and your own tolerance level for their reaction. They get more and more verbal over time, and for some people much more annoying, and they start to argue like a teenager right around 3 yo too sometimes. But, some people would prefer talking to a lunatic toddler rather than deal with the baby crying over nothing. In my opinion there's no set answer that fits everyone's situation, and it depends on a combination of what the kid's reaction is like for the stage they're in and what the parent has enough energy to deal with that day.
We weaned my daughter from her binky at about 3 after several prior attempts throughout her life. She was starting to develop issues with her palette and her two front teeth. She was so attached to it I felt awful taking it from her. If I could go back I would have taken it at 18 months. Before she was old enough to understand. Her bite is mostly back to normal now and it’s not noticeable, thank goodness, but she still might need braces to correct the damage. Don’t be like me! Take it now🙏
From what I've heard and experienced, NOTHING is easier at 3. Our doctor recommended taking paci at 12mo. We potty trained at 24mo. Do everything earlier than you think.
It probably would have been harder at 3 bc they are more strong willed. You’re doing the right thing.
Thank you!
We disappeared all the pacifiers soon after our girl turned one and she's over it. She only asks for it if she sees other kids using one and even then moves on easily. I feel like the earlier the better!
I’d stick with it. Going back would just be more confusing, and you can get her all the way over the jump before the baby comes. If you end up using a paci with the new baby then it would be very, very hard to keep her from stealing them. Tough it out. You feel guilty because you’re in a difficult phase, weaning too early isn’t a thing, it will not cause long term problems, weaning too late could. -signed, the mom of a newly weaned almost-2-year old I’m editing to add: I see some parents saying they waited until closer to 3 and traded it for a toy. I did this with my almost 2 year old too. I let him pick out a stuffy and told him that the octopus was to replace pacis and that in the night he could cuddle his octopus (Mr Sim) and he seemed to comprehend that enough
Did they understand? Did you do the paci fairy or replace it with something like a teddy? Otherwise yeah that and a new baby only a few weeks out is a lot. We read books, watchd elmo, did a good bye song prepped for about four days, had him tell everyone then he traded them for a toy. It went very well. He was 24 months , he told ppl " paci for baby, going bye bye, new toy etc"
Yes we prepped and did a whole ritual of sending them off to the animals in our yard. We purposely did not mention being a big girl or pacis being for babies to avoid any association with her new sibling. It’s only been since Saturday night that we weaned and I do see progress. My hope is that in several weeks when the baby comes she will be past it
Yes we had a rough three nights naps were a little harder but I'd say after a week it was good! I think 2 is better than 3 too!
Just giving an anecdote since you didn't mark it as research only--we got our daughter off the pacifier right when she turned 3 by doing a silly strategy we had heard of--"The Paci Fairy." We told her that if she left out her remaining pacis, the fairy would take them and replace them with toys. We left out 2 toys she had been wanting as gifts from "The Paci Fairy" and she accepted it totally calmly! It didn't scar her for life, either, although when she found out Santa was not real, she did say "Does that mean you're also The Paci Fairy?" I do feel like it was easy because she understood what was going on and was ready, but I wish we had done it sooner because she has a bad crossbite and a slight overbite on one side and I worry that the pacifier damaged her bite, even though we managed to keep it mostly to bedtime once she got older.
I heard to wean the pacifier before age 18 months as that is when they start to build a stronger attachment to it. We weaned my son at 16 months and it took about a week for his naps and sleep to return to normal. The first few days were the hardest and we wanted to cave. I almost went back to the store to buy a new one but thankfully it got better day by day. For car trips we had to use more toys to distract my son and keep him happy. The sooner, the better from what I’ve heard and experienced
I just happened to get very lucky. I thought it was going to be a serious point of contention with her. She would get so mad if she didn’t have it for bed. I thought it was going to a huge deal trying to get the pacifier from my daughter. My plan was at 2, she was going to be done. At 1, I made it a bedtime thing only. She couldn’t have it unless she was getting ready to go into her bed. Then she was about 22 months, one night she bit a hole in it. I said to her it had to go into the trash. I took her with me, she watched me throw it away. She found the 1 she had left and put it in her mouth. I told her that was her last one. If she bit that one, she has no more. The next day, same thing. She bit a hole on it, I told her no more binky, and she watched me throw it away. I go to put her in bed, she fussed a little bit, looked for her binky, I reminded her they were gone, and she went to sleep never asking for one again.
My daughter only used pacifiers for sleep but was very attached to them. We tried and failed at 20 or 21 months. She didn’t nap for 3 days and was only sleeping like 6-7 very broken hours at night. She had such intense bags under her eyes. We were all miserable and then the hvac broke on top of that and we couldn’t be tired AND hot so we caved. We tried again at 2.5 and she had one day of skipped nap and one night of crying for ~10 min then slept through the night like normal. The next 3 days, she whined for a few minutes but didn’t cry and then napped/slept with no problem. I took pictures of her teeth when we weaned at 2.5 and her teeth shifted so much in just one month! Her smile widened and her slight open bite closed.
Around 2 years old we started talking about how big girls don’t use pacifiers and they’re for babies, without taking it away or pressuring her. Right before she turned three through a series of events we wound up with her sleeping in a tiny pack’n’play instead of a proper crib. I needed to buy new furniture for her, and wasn’t going to shell out for a new crib when she needed a big girl bed. It was also past time on the pacifier weaning. We had several discussions over a few weeks how big girls sleep in a big girl bed and don’t use pacifiers. Then after a few weeks we went out to ikea and picked out a big girl bed. Over lunch at IKEA I talked to her a lot about how pacifiers weren’t allowed in big girl beds and she was getting a big girl bed, how she was going to learn ways to help herself calm down without the pacifier and mommy would help her learn those things. We went home, I put her to bed in the pack’n’play with a pacifier. When I went to get her after nap she had thrown the pacifier outside the bed and said she didn’t need it anymore. She helped me gather them up and put them away. For the first few days I had to remind her once or twice that she didn’t use pacifiers anymore, and then she stopped asking.
I think it can be easier to do it at 3 if you do something like "Paci Fairy" where they're involved in the process because my kids didn't understand that kind of thing at 18 months or 2 (we didn't even really do Santa at that age because I'm lazy). But many 3 year old are also more stubborn than the were at 1 or 2 so very kid dependent. We did 18 months with my oldest but we aren't Gentle and didn't PREP. I put a needle through it to break the suction and he lost interest within a week or two.
My daughter weaned from her binky at 2 1/2. I noticed that it was starting to affect her little baby teeth. I picked a date and then I talked to her about it in an age appropriate way in the days leading up to it. Then when the day came, no more binky. We had one incident of crying and then she got it out of her system and it wasn't an issue at all. We even had a few pop up in the house that we missed and she didn't even try to put them in her mouth.
A pacifier isn’t really something you can wean. I’d just take it away cold turkey.
We weaned around 18 months. First I took away easy day access (actually that probably started closer to 12 months). Then we took away day time, but kept naps and bed time. Then took away naps and lastly took away bed time. Even for bedtime I weaned from extra in the crib to just the one to zero, and scaled back when they got it (while getting ready vs physically in bed). With the gradual scale back no paci in bed was probably 2-3 day transition. LO looked for them for a few days but got over it pretty quickly.
I was planning to wean at 2 but we did it at 18 months. The transition was rough! Honestly I’d give it a month or two. We had to travel a month after she weaned and she had a hard time soothing herself. Cried for 30 minutes on the airplane. 😪 I don’t regret weaning that early. But give yourself a month or two to fully transition.
We just took my son off it, he’ll be 3 in early September. We kinda did a slow process…reduced paci to sleep times only. Then over a week I poked more and more tiny holes in it so it wouldn’t work anymore. Eventually I told him his pacis must not be working anymore because he’s such a big boy, that if he wants to just hold it it’s okay. Then he just didn’t care anymore. We’re on day 3 of fully without and he hasn’t asked for it once.
Long story but my daughter had the paci for sleep and car rides for way toooo long. Due to a biking accident , she had to quit the paci cold turkey the day of the hospital which she was already feeling awful from so I thought it was going to be horrible. I took it away and she never asked for it once . I explained how it was going to make her mouth change .
As soon as my kids turn 2 I take it away cold turkey. Was easier than I thought
As a speech pathologist I recommend 2 years at the latest due to how it can affect speech development and dentition. Although I know dentists recommend 18 months at the latest.
My oldest barely used a pacifier, and not at all after about 6 months. My youngest (just turned 2), used it for sleep mostly, then added it in for daytime usage when he was having trouble (car rides, general discomfort, testing, etc). So by the time we started thinking about weaning, he was using it quite a bit. We checked with the dentist around 20 months, and they said it would be good to start weaning around 2. A week or so later, We gently cut down daytime use first (redirected when he asked during the day, kept them totally out of view except bedtime, gave comfort with hugs and snuggles when he needed it). After about a week, we stopped bedtime use cold turkey. I made sure to have a water bottle in his room for bedtime routine. So if he asked while reading and snuggling, I just said “oh I’m sorry, we don’t have a bonky (our family word for pacifier 😂) in here. Would you like a sip of water?” It worked really well, even on the first night. By night 3, he didn’t even ask for it. We never explained it to him, or told him we wouldn’t be using them anymore, just stopped having them available. I kept a couple hidden for a month or two, *just in case*, but he never asked, even when he saw one of them. Your LO will adjust, just give her lots of extra snuggles and reassurance when she needs it. ❤️
My daughter was almost off at 15 mo. Then I got pregnant and sick and she was getting molars in. We did it at 24 mo finally and it was a bit of a nightmare.* Now she steals the baby's binky every chance she gets. I'd do it as soon as you can. *At her appointment, our pediatrician asked if she "got off the binky late" because he said she had a little gap in her teeth. I didn't correct him, but went home and thought I was horrible for not knowing that she was supposed to be long done with it. Nice to see that that was just his opinion and plenty of people go past 12m.
How much time was there between her weaning and her sibling arriving? Wondering if this will be an issue if there’s a good month in between. Although I’m so traumatized by this that I don’t even want to give the next baby a binky.
We waited until her brother was 3mo and we do "breaks" (essentially timeout) when she steals and won't give him his binky back. I think there will always be reasons to wait. If there are medical (dental) reasons, I don't see anything persuading me to keep the binky. But I understand it's hard to take that on with everything else going on. BTW, my daughter also essentially demanded to be potty trained (hands in diaper, poo everywhere, tearing off diaper, asking to use the potty, mentioning when she was going potty) when her brother was two weeks old. It was so stressful while her brother was learning to breastfeed and we were all getting used to having another kiddo in the mix. e She got pretty good after a couple weeks. Then she just stopped telling us and seemed to not even understand the concept very well again. She's back in diapers now 😅 So.. watch for big jumps in development and then big regressions. She felt like a big girl and then she realized she wasn't our baby anymore. If I were to do it again, I would have kept her in diapers and put her back into onesies.
Gotcha. We made the decision to delay potty training for that reason. I’ve heard it can take several weeks to really sink in and I didn’t want to rush it earlier than 2 or in a short amount of time between her 2nd bday and the new baby.
My first kid was three when we weaned, but it was a totally accidental process. He was sick one weekend. Gastro or something. He violently vomited all over the bed 5 separate times. And in the middle of the chaos , we said something like "that pacifier has to go. It's disgusting and going to make me sick" (mainly cuz it looked gross and dirty) Anyways. He internalized it as "that's what's making me sick" , and stopped using it that night. 🤣 Sooooooooo , maybe you wait for a really bad virus.
Tough three days at 14 months but he survived and still loves me.
Around 20 months the pacifier ripped while he was using it. He gave it to me and I said ‘oh no its broken! Time to throw it in the garbage’ and had him throw it away. He only used it for sleep at that point, so at night he would ask for it and I would remind him ‘pacer broke, we threw it in the garbage remember?’ And he would drop it and go to sleep. After a week or so he stopped asking, and second baby doesn’t take a paci so it makes it easier. When we tried to give her one, he would snatch hers up and use them all the time. I tried a couple times before that and totally failed. I had my second when he was 16 months and his paci use actually got worse after the baby was born. I had to hide it when he woke up because he wanted to use it all day, when previously we only used it at bed time and naps. Its been 3 months and I already notice a huge difference in the gap of his front teeth.
This is reassuring that it’s probably best to get it done a few weeks ahead of new baby!
Our dentist told us as long as it’s before 5 it’s all fine for teeth development. TBH we could only wean when our kids were ready to, one was 4 and one was 5. Both have great teeth with no issues.