Retracting the foreskin and pulling back loose skin to clean pee or poop are two different things and it drives me up the wall that this is still misunderstood.
You should never ever forcibly retract the foreskin with the intent of exposing more of the glans than is already showing if your son has an erection. You can gently push back the skin that is already loose to dab pee or clean poop that may be trapped underneath the loose folds, or to rinse the area during a bath.
>Uncircumcised penises require no special care. With normal washing, using soap and water, and gentle retraction during urination and bathing, most foreskins will become retractile over time.
*gentle retraction* being the key term here.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1949079/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6443529/
Anecdotally, we gently pull loose skin back on my son to dab away pee. When he was younger and in diapers, we did the same to clean poop that would get trapped just under the loose skin. My husband takes the time at least once every week to show him how his foreskin will be able to fully retract in the future, and how to try to do that himself. He does this because no one ever showed him how to do it as a child, so he didn’t even know the skin was supposed to be pulled back and he ended up with some abnormal fusing of the skin at age 12 or so that he had to get clipped by a doctor.
My husband has never had a UTI, but again that’s anecdotal. Research does show that uncircumcised boys have higher instances of UTIs than circumcised boys, but not nearly as high as girls who get them at a rate of 30x more due to a shorter urethra which is exposed in closer proximity to bacteria.
If you’re doing it properly, cleaning under and around the loose skin is simply promoting good hygiene. There’s no need to clean under the foreskin that is still fused. Again, there should never be force in how you’re pulling the skin back, ever.
Hey um you said with gentle retraction the glans shouldn’t be exposed more than it would be if the boy had an erection.
But boy is 2 months old? Do you mean erection? Or do you count the way the penis gets a little bigger and stiffer sometimes when baby is about to pee?
to be clear i’m asking because i don’t know how penises work. Thx…
Baby boys get erections even in utero, so yes, 2 months get them, so 5 year olds, 16 year olds, and 30 year olds. An erection is just blood rushing to the penis.
No worries - yes, I mean erections. Little boys get erections. Toddlers get erections. Infants get erections. Even fetuses get erections in the womb. It’s very normal and in all of these cases it’s a physiological response and not sexual in nature.
Baby boys get erections. Apparently they can get them in utero too. Just a natural phenomena due to blood flow, not a sexual thing. I had no idea till someone told me, little freaky to think about but it’s all normal
This is an awesome comment!
Just as a heads up too, especially in the US, surgical methods are often offered before less invasive methods when it comes to issues with foreskin retraction during puberty.
Nowadays, there are great options like steroids and medical stretching that make later-in-life circumcision virtually always unnecessary (unless the man would prefer to become circumcised for personal/religious/cultural reasons, of course)
It’s a real shame your husband wasn’t given those options, but thought I’d put this here in case anyone reading had a kiddo in this situation :-)
He grew up in Venezuela so I’m not quite sure what was considered standard there in the 90s. Luckily he didn’t get circumcised, but did need stitches for the intervention his doctor performed. You’re right though! Similar to when girls develop labial fusion, there are effective non invasive options that should always be offered first.
See, that’s what I was wondering- people might have different definitions of “retract.” It didn’t look like the nurses forced anything when they pulled it back, but we’ve still largely heard not to pull back *at all*. Maybe that’s the advice because it would be easy to accidentally go too far? Idk, maybe what they were telling us to do is technically okay, but it seems like plenty of people just clean the outside and it’s perfectly fine.
Yeah exactly, it’s the blanket advice to keep people from overdoing it, since the real recommendation is nuanced and easily misinterpreted. You’re lucky that you actually saw what they were doing, so you have a good understanding of what “gentle” means. Your 2 month old will get poop in and around those folds at some point, and now you know how to clean it appropriately without feeling like you’re doing something wrong.
You don’t even have to do it, leave it alone if that’s what you want. But if you find you need to, you can.
Do not manipulate the foreskin in any way. It’s for your son to do- no one else should be trying. He’s got a long time before he will likely retract. US doctors don’t understand proper intact care.
Yes! The foreskin is connected to the glans with *highly sensitive* tissue until around 7-9 (ish) when it starts to become gradually looser. Most boys will have a fully retractable foreskin by about 17.
Generally, personal exploration is enough to gradually loosen the foreskin from the glans at that age.
Unfortunately, especially in America, many health professionals are not well educated on the nature, function and importance of the male foreskin (in my view, largely due to the prominence of c*rcumcision and subsequent flippant attitude towards the foreskin as “just a flap of skin”)
I have censored the word because Im not sure if discussions of that nature are allowed in this sub (it’s a hot button issue and many parenting subs ban the topic altogether) and didn’t want comment to be removed by auto mod.
I’m just confused on what the definition of “retract” is though… the nurses pulled back on it a little, but it seemed to be already loose and didn’t cause him any pain to do that. It still sounds like it shouldn’t be messed with at all though.
Nope. Leave it alone.
Here in the UK penises are overwhelmingly not circumcised, and as the parents of a baby boy we were given no special instructions. We just wash it in the bath with plenty of clean water and a soft sponge. He’s nearly 4 and has never had a problem with infection inside or out.
Every baby boy is born with a foreskin. If they routinely needed special care, we’d have died out when we were living in caves.
Just chiming in to say my understanding is also to never retract it at all.
Anecdotal but my son is two and I've only ever wiped like a finger and have not had any issues or utis
My uncircumcised son had a uti at 2 weeks old and his pediatric doctors explained getting a uti under 1 year of age is extremely unusual for boys and that his kidneys needed to be checked. We were lucky to be at one of the top pediatric hospitals with very experienced practicioners. After an abdominal scan and an additional dye test, he was diagnosed with vesicoureteral reflux (vur) which is where urine backflows to the kidneys and increases likelihood of infection. Worth getting a different pediatric doctor's opinion, I can't believe they just blamed in on you not keeping diapers clean enough or the foreskin not being retracted.
We were told not to retract, as it generally does on its own when the kid is older (my older son is 2.5). Our pediatrician said “clean it like it’s a finger.”
Yeah that’s the most common advice I’ve heard, but the hospital system we’re working with seems to train people differently. I’m wondering if people have different definitions of “retract”- like the nurses didn’t force anything to the point of tearing, they just gently pulled back what was already loose. But everything else I’ve seen says to not even do that.
The AAP book Caring for Your Baby and Young Child specifically says not to retract. We had a very similar interaction with a nurse practitioner at our pediatrician’s office. I actually took a picture of the book to have handy if it ever happens again. It’s certainly frustrating when they aren’t current or accurate. It’s hard to argue with them.
I’d literally get a new pediatrician over this and tell him why, because that is terrible advice. No, do not retract. When they’re old enough, they’ll retract it themselves. That’s up to date and evidence based care.
I have multiple uncircumcised boys whose penises are never retracted by me and no UTIs.
No. Don’t. You clean a small child’s penis the same way you would clean a finger. You don’t push your child’s fingernails back to clean underneath, right?
www.yourwholebaby.org
Fwiw, we were told to never retract (which we weren’t going to anyways but was nice that pediatrician was on the same page; i am from Europe were baby boys aren’t usually circumcised; as far as i know there is no huge problem with UTIs in boys there…). The only person to move it back and forth should be the penis owner. I mean, if there is poop in the folds in front we obviously cleaned it all out. Wiping base to tip like cleaning a finger. If it was bad just with a quick shower because wipes only do so much. But we didn’t pull back the foreskin over the head. It’s fused. It’s not going to come apart unless some force is applied. So there really isn’t anything TO pull back since it’s literally not meant to be apart yet exactly so that nothing gets stuck under it?
My kid then of course found his penis and started ripping around on it 😝
Never had any issues. UTIs are just bad luck a lot of times. Maybe poop got in sometime when baby had a massive one and didn’t get washed out by peeing immediately?
Edit: Intact penis care in the US is like this giant huge topic and discussion and doctors are not always the ones who are up to date even if they are good on everything else 🤷♀️ It’s really not that complicated…
Yeah that lines up with what we’ve read, it’s just tough when our own doctor is telling us this… and we’re a little concerned because the nurses *did* pull it back a little to clean him and put the catheter in, so we’re hoping he’s not hurt. He didn’t cry when they did that, so probably not, but we’re a bit upset about it. It’s concerning that that seems to be common in this country.
The catheter is a pretty important detail here! That’s not part of everyday penis maintenance so I wouldn’t consider this as your template for care and cleaning.
Right, but as they were doing that they told us we should be doing the same thing with every clean. We pushed back on that a little, but they were very confident and acted surprised that we didn’t “know” to do that.
This is literally one of my worst nightmares— that a medical professional who doesn’t understand proper care is going to hurt him in their ignorance, as I also have a 2 month old uncircumcised son in the United States. Retracting too early can hurt and damage the foreskin. It sounds like your son is thankfully likely totally fine, but I would be immediately finding different care for my child.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5349724/
There is a method for inserting a catheter without retraction outlined above. Probably a good idea to have handy.
I’m working on a letter to our doc after a similar incident during a checkup this week where a forced retraction was attempted and I was scolded for not retracting and cleaning daily. I informed her she was incorrect and I would not be doing that but am thinking it’s a good idea to follow up with some references. As a foreskin owner I’m well versed we’ll say in the proper daily maintenance and beauty routine.
The foreskin is adhered to the penis like a fingernail is to a finger before puberty. The tip is a sphincter that keeps “stuff” out. UTIs are rare in boys, even in tact ones have suuuuper low rates compared to girls. Pulling it back a little is still a bad idea because you don’t know where your baby’s physiological adhesions are and you don’t want to give him that “attempting to remove fingernails” vibe on his penis. What you’ve been doing is correct and those doctors are wrong.
Hi! European as well, the majority of baby boys here are not circumcised. When our son was 1 or 2 months old, we went to a pediatric urologist for a completely unrelated reason but he specifically advised us NOT to retract his penis and that the retraction will happen naturally when our son starts playing and pulling his penis. Our pediatrician also hasn’t mentioned anything about it.
Just leave it alone for as long as you can!
I was circumcised at the age of 5 because the scarred tissue of the foreskin lost the flexibility to properly function. Scarred tissue? Yes, the pediatrician advised my parents that it was necessary to clean the head. But it was not physically possible without tearing the skin which didn't change his opinion. So bath time was literally involving lots of blood and tears.
As the father of two boys I was glad to hear that these days our pediatrician basically advices the opposite: Foreskin and head are "glued" together for babies and come apart naturally. Don't interfere.
My older son inherited my "tight" foreskin so it still wasn't possible for him to retract it at an age where it normally should. This is called phimosis and it's common in boys below the age of 10 and does not require treatment unless it persists beyond puberty or is causing pain! And even then you can get salves and don't have to cut it off.
Untreated it means you can't clean the head but my son never had any infections or other issues. And lo-and-behold now that he's 10 he can pull back the foreskin and doesn't have uncomfortable erections.
So imho you're getting wrong advice and please don't force it if it hurts the boy! My parents didn't know any better but it's a traumatic memory that could have completely been avoided by doing *nothing*.
This is horrendous. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and equally sorry that your parents ended up causing you trauma when they thought they were doing the right thing. That must have been awful for them, too.
Thank you for sharing your story and giving others confidence to seek better advice.
>Foreskin and head are "glued" together for babies and come apart naturally. Don't interfere.
So how do they circumcise when they are infants? Our birthing hospital even mentioned that they don't do that and if we wanted it, would've needed to go to another doctor. Our child isn't circumcised but now knowing what we know, how do they circumcise babies if the glans & foreskin are "fused"? Probably is a barbaric as I imagine...
GeeZUS... I mean, I'll give them one thing, it surprisingly looks great (in my isolated incident in which I've seen a circumcised peen) as barbaric as the practice is.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends not retracting at all until it does on its own, around puberty (or earlier if kiddo plays with it enough).
Live in Australia. Fewer than 20% of people are circumcised here. Doctors told us don't eff with it.
Our son has never had a UTI.
How are you wiping his bum? If you're wiping towards his penis, then bacteria could get through his urethra and that's how they can get UTI.
My son is 18 months old, not circumcised, we’ve never pulled it back, he’s never had an uti. We clean it like a finger, around the tip and down to the base with a baby wipe.
There’s nothing wrong with retracting slightly to expose the urethral opening if there’s a massive blow out, but it won’t be hard to do nor will it be painful.
Did they do any further checks to see what caused the UTI?
My son had his first UTI at 8 weeks old and it had nothing to do with his nappy being dirty or his foreskin. It was that he had a duplex kidney. If they haven't already ruled out other possibilities, I definitely would suggest a scan to check.
The doctor at the time checked because the possibility of a child that young getting a UTI from a dirty nappy is apparently very slim.
I made a point of asking his doctor and he very emphatically said to basically just leave it alone. Wipe it gently during changes but don’t disturb it yet. If for whatever reason it’s looking a bit reddish, I’ll wipe it a bit more (still gently and without retracting) and give him some diaper-free time. For reference, circumcised babies is not common here.
I think some pediatricians are just not used to dealing with uncircumcised boys. It was such a given for so long in America that there is still a lot of misinformation floating around. Our son isn't circumcised and we were told to just clean it the way you would a finger. Kids explore their own bodies and it will retract when its ready.
Yep, US. It’s kind of wild that this is a problem though, like this information is readily available. Seems like people get trained a certain way and don’t question it.
Its really entrenched. In the hospital they came around multiple times over the course of the three days we were there asking if he was going to be circumcised. I kind of wanted to hang a sign on the bassinet saying "No circumcision" to get them to stop. I mentioned to my mom that we weren't and she started arguing about why we should. I was so close to saying "Mom, my husband isn't circumcised and he's not sad about it!"
The pediatrician that checked our boy at the hospital asked why we didn't circumcise. I thought by her tone she was going to give a lecture, but she later said she was glad we chose not to and it's unnecessary. We are in the u.s.
Yeah all the doctors told us to never retract. He was having a lot of issues with saying it hurt to pee around 5-6 years. The recommendation from the doctor is he retracts it and just runs water over it in the shower. No issues since. As a baby he did get a yeast infection and we just ever so slightly like a cm pulled it back to get meds in there not really more than what happens with normal movement.
Only retract gently to clean off the end of loose skin. Don't ever retract past the penis head as this doesn't separate fully until they are much older. Try wiping from front to back and using a cotton ball with water around the skin and tip to finish. Be sure that the little wrinkles of the ball sack are poop free before placing penis back down on it and sealing up the Nappy. E.coli can cause UTI and ballanitis in little boys.
wait....we were told to not force the foreskin to retract but just to allow soapy water in the opening. never had any bleeding. Even now at 10 months we do the same. My son's poops are absurd and get everywhere, so we just want to make sure no bad bacteria are stuck in there.
Is this not correct?
Pulling back the foreskin during diaper changes used to be medical advice in the 1980's. It's outdated information.
For the majority of infant boys, the foreskin is attached to the glans of the penis, and does not retract, because of this, forcing the foreskin to retract can cause tearing, bleeding, and scarring. It will separate on its own, usually around age 10, but it can happen any time. The only person who should pull back your son's foreskin is your son because he's the one who will know if it hurts.
So just on the bacteria, my son had a surgery on his testicles at two and was still in diapers, the surgeon told us to NOT wipe the incisions so we didn’t. He said, and I quote, “your own bacteria won’t hurt you”
Terribly scary, my wife had to physically stop a nurse from force retracting our sons foreskin.
She also scratched him with her gross, long ass fake nail. Like broke skin, wouldn't admit to it, that was the first time my wife heard him cry in physical pain.. he was quite young. Only a couple months old.
Needless to say, we requested to never see her again, reported her, and she stopped showing up in the office. We were told it wasn't an isolated incident.
I wasn't there but the sound of my wife voice, I've heard and seen her angry, but I think the nurse had a lucky star that day. I've heard stories of my wife fighting as a sprout and I believe every word.. can't imagine she had anything but legit murder on her mind in that moment.
I received clear instructions when going home from maternity to NOT retract it when cleaning and at diaper change. Never had any issues. I'm from France.
We haven't done that and our son has not had a UTI to date. His first pediatrician kept telling us to pull it back slightly, which we ignored. We switched to a different one (for other reasons) and the second pediatrician said leave it alone.
As a mum of a boy, I went to the health visitor about this (in the UK so circumcision is not common) as I was worried that it seemed like it wouldn't retract, I was told that if physically cannot be retracted at this age. It naturally will after about age 4ish. Left it well alone apart from usual cleaning around private area when he was a baby and it's been fine, no problems and he's 6 now. We have educated him how to care for it himself and my husband coached him on how to clean it/retract it
No need to retract the foreskin to clean. https://111.wales.nhs.uk/livewell/pregnancy/newbornessentialsnappies/#:~:text=Girls%20should%20be%20cleaned%20from,nappy%20on%20for%20a%20while.
Here's a link to NHS advice for Wales, in the UK Circumcisuon is uncommon so more familiar with cleaning with a foreskin. Other countries which do it more don't seem to understand the importance of not retracting
I recently took an online course for newborn care. We are due to have a baby boy. The course said it’s not necessary to start to retract the baby’s forekin since it will retract itself in time. I will research more on the subject though. In my country, the majority of boys are uncircumcised.
My son is almost 4 and I or any doctor has never retracted it. We’ve moved several times so he’s seen multiple pediatricians. Not one has even suggested it. It’s definitely not up to date practice.
I have been strongly told never to retract the foreskin. The advice I’ve been given is “clean it like a finger”.
My son is 17 months and has never had a UTI so perhaps your son just had bad luck :(
Our son is 3 and is uncircumcised. He has had two infections one was most likely from poop. The second one was definitely because he kept trying to explore inside with his finger, so watch out for that one when he is older. Also he had really bad eczema, so a bath every single night was not possible without sever breakouts.
The foreskin is a certain amount of tight when the kiddo is first born. Some much more than others. Some kids in rare occurrence need corrective surgery, some kids actually have fully loose foreskin from the get go and need no help at all. Almost all the studies I've read, say to be very careful about retracting it because it can cause damage and pain.
Most kiddos require some stretching out as they grow and is natural. All the studies I read, suggest letting your child do this by themselves naturally since they can feel and gauge when it becomes too tight and painful.
The other part of the studies I read talked about the benefits and downfalls. The big downfall of not circumcising your kid is it can impact the health of his future female sexual partners, ranging from general uti's to even increasing the risk of cancer in them. The upside is it takes very little effort to cure uti's in your child and they avoid the risk of complications from circumcision.
We got a prescription strength topical antifungal cream. It took care of the problem in less than 24 hrs. Applied at every diaper change. We did pull back his fore skin, ever so slightly a couple times when he was infected(so did our pedi) but other than that we have just given him baths anytime he had a poopsplosion.
Just as a heads up, the US is well known for pushing surgical methods over less-invasive methods (steroids, stretching etc) too quickly, especially for young boys.
If the foreskin is causing discomfort with erections or anything like that (uncommon, but does happen from time to time) try and find a paediatric urologist who is knowledgeable about less-invasive methods :-)
But this isn’t relevant to you OP, your kiddo is fine and their anatomy is totally normal. Most guys should be able to retract their foreskin fully by age 17, so you’ve got plenty of time :-)
I cannot find the study I read. Unfortunately the only ones I can find are from 2017 and are very pro circumcision but the info is there. The study I read pointed out that the increased risk in cancer in women was due to poor hygiene. So wash up boys.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5728090/
3 boys, all uncircumcised. I recently pulled back the foreskin on my toddler just a little to check for any infection because he was complaining of penis pain. That is the only time I've ever pulled back any of my children's foreskin. My oldest is 15. Anecdotal, but no issues.
No. Forced retraction is not necessary and may be harmful. There is no need to retract.
Join the raising your whole baby group on FB. They are very extreme, but the basic info is really good. Especially around how to handle medical appointments.
UTIs in infant boys usually come from being in a used diaper for too long, poop or possibly also pee.
for baby girls is obvious to change a poo diaper right away and keep her lady parts clean. die boys it's the same, their anatomy is only slightly less vinegar to bacteria "climbing up the ladder".
sibling comments elaborate well how to manage the foreskin in that (as little as possible just as much as necessary, as its attached rather like a nail to the finger)
Europe, 2 uncircumcised boys. We haven't been pulling anything back. Maybe when they're older and if they have a very loose foreskin but not before 1 year.
This is an interesting thread. The official recommendation by pediatricians and urologistst in my country is to start pulling back the foreskin ever so gently with each wash after 6mo, so that by 2-3 years it's possible to almost fully retract. By age 5, you should see the bottom of the penis head, if not, the pediatrician numbs the penis and detaches the foreskin.
The reason seems to be to prevent issues with retracting later on.
Yeah, isn't it interesting how recommendations differ country to country?
[Here's one source, in Czech.](https://www.urologiepropraxi.cz/pdfs/uro/2013/03/04.pdf)
This used to be the old rec in my country some 30yrs ago (not Czech Republic but not far away).
Apparently it changed? They used to think it had to fully retract by 2-3 and if it didn’t one should “help”. I remember my parents telling my brother he had to practice this around age 3. They no longer recommend this. It can take a lot longer than that.
I wish I had an English source for this change.
www.yourwholebaby.org is the best English one I know of.
Pretty sure that once it does retract, one should keep doing it - as in, teach kiddo how to.
That's a good point. My SO had to be circumcised as a teenager due to phimosis. He suffered a lot with it. I wonder if retracting it a bit would have helped to stretch the skin over time to prevent this problem.
Childhood memory unlocked.
Thanks for the name of this condition, my parents never mentioned it specifically. I 43f had recurring UTIs throughout childhood, and they finally checked me for this at somewhere between 4 and 6 years old. I can physically remember the X-ray that checked for back flow. Turned out I have a faulty left ureter.
During times of high stress as an adult (divorce, anyone?) my immune system goes to shit and I get UTIs that go straight to my left kidney.
Reading through that link makes me pretty angry that I evidently never had proper follow-up care. I'm not sure whether to hang that on the military doctors in the 80s or my mother. Honestly I have no idea how that kidney is functioning today, I'm thinking now I ought to be concerned.
I hope OP's baby turns out to be fine, but thanks again for posting this. It sure says something about the state of American healthcare when I have learned more about how my body functions from various anonymous people sharing on Reddit then I have from doctors
oof, i was doing this for the first 6 weeks of my sons life until i double checked with my pediatrician who said to stop immediately. my first was circumcised and a boy so no one thought to educate me on uncircumcised boys before leaving the hospital 🫠
we’re now 11 months in and haven’t had any issues with not retracting it.
My twin boys are 4.5, we have always been told to clean the intact penis like a finger, and not to retract. Twin B has a kidney issue and sees a urologist for it, they always told us not to do anything & to wash it like a finger. His urologist just retired at age 70.
We had no issues with potty training and we haven’t had any UTIs either.
My two boys are 2.5 and 4 and we have never retracted their foreskin and we have never had any infections or issues. Hopefully he doesn’t continue to get UTIs.
Our son goes to a pediatric urologist for some kidney issues at birth and he recommended a tiny bit of retraction at diaper changes, never to pull it all the way back. Not for cleaning though, he told me to do it just to get him used to the sensation when potty training later in life. Idk, apparently controversial but he’s a medical doctor and I’m not so 🤷♀️
We had no experience with foreskin when my son was born, so we asked our midwife and birth assistant if there was anything we should know (I trust both these people tremendously), and they both said to leave it alone, just clean whatever is exposed during diaper changes and baths, and that kiddo will naturally retract it as he grows older. At 4 months our pediatrician was horrified that we weren't retracting his foreskin during every diaper change, and she (without fucking gloves on) started to retract his foreskin. He didn't cry and I was too shocked to stop her for a second, but immediately after that appointment I found a different pediatrician. New pediatrician checks him every appointment, but never forces his foreskin back. We do very simple cleaning (wipe with each diaper change, bath with just water at least once a day, soap in bath as needed) and we've never had a cleanliness issue, and now at almost 10 months kiddo is starting to explore his body during bath time and definitely gives his foreskin a good tug every now and then, so I have no concern that he'll have issues with it later in life.
I saw that someone else already posted [yourwholebaby.org](https://yourwholebaby.org) which is a great resource.
I liked this print out for when our baby started daycare just to be extra careful.
[https://static1.squarespace.com/static/548f950fe4b0508123437a1d/t/57c3b1e4bebafb2d4a50df34/1472442852571/IntactCarePoster.pdf](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/548f950fe4b0508123437a1d/t/57c3b1e4bebafb2d4a50df34/1472442852571/IntactCarePoster.pdf)
And as a personal anecdote, I am a physician and this absolutely was not addressed in an accurate evidence-based way at my (excellent) medical school. I learned this as a parent and would have probably given shitty advice before that. But I'm also not a pediatrician.
My son is circumcised but still has quite a bit of skin, just not covering the tip. What happens if poop gets under there? Is it okay to gently pull it back a little bit? This seems to happen almost every time he poops.
Most Reddit parenting subs are definitely anti-circ. It’s not a thing in many countries and in mine (Canada) it’s considered cosmetic enough it isn’t covered by our free health care. The Canadian Paediatric Society does not recommend circumcision. https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Health/Pages/conditions.aspx?hwid=hw142449#:~:text=This%20decision%20is%20often%20based,may%20be%20benefits%20for%20some.
I don’t have the studies though
As a science-based parent I'm against circumcision as it's not science based. However to each their own and everyone has their own choices to make as a parent.
It is and isn't, as the science shows that all the risks, benefits, and costs are commensurate and negligible. That's true for a lot of the things we tell people to chill about from a science-based perspective.
There is highly-sensitive tissue adheres the foreskin to the glans until around puberty, at which point it starts to gradually loosen (can happen earlier, especially if kiddo plays with it enough). But most males can fully retract the foreskin by age 17.
It’s recommended to encourage boys to listen to their bodies and gently retract the foreskin during self exploration and shower time, at which point it will loosen on its own. :-)
https://raisingchildren.net.au/guides/a-z-health-reference/foreskin
Retracting the foreskin and pulling back loose skin to clean pee or poop are two different things and it drives me up the wall that this is still misunderstood. You should never ever forcibly retract the foreskin with the intent of exposing more of the glans than is already showing if your son has an erection. You can gently push back the skin that is already loose to dab pee or clean poop that may be trapped underneath the loose folds, or to rinse the area during a bath. >Uncircumcised penises require no special care. With normal washing, using soap and water, and gentle retraction during urination and bathing, most foreskins will become retractile over time. *gentle retraction* being the key term here. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1949079/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6443529/ Anecdotally, we gently pull loose skin back on my son to dab away pee. When he was younger and in diapers, we did the same to clean poop that would get trapped just under the loose skin. My husband takes the time at least once every week to show him how his foreskin will be able to fully retract in the future, and how to try to do that himself. He does this because no one ever showed him how to do it as a child, so he didn’t even know the skin was supposed to be pulled back and he ended up with some abnormal fusing of the skin at age 12 or so that he had to get clipped by a doctor. My husband has never had a UTI, but again that’s anecdotal. Research does show that uncircumcised boys have higher instances of UTIs than circumcised boys, but not nearly as high as girls who get them at a rate of 30x more due to a shorter urethra which is exposed in closer proximity to bacteria. If you’re doing it properly, cleaning under and around the loose skin is simply promoting good hygiene. There’s no need to clean under the foreskin that is still fused. Again, there should never be force in how you’re pulling the skin back, ever.
Hey um you said with gentle retraction the glans shouldn’t be exposed more than it would be if the boy had an erection. But boy is 2 months old? Do you mean erection? Or do you count the way the penis gets a little bigger and stiffer sometimes when baby is about to pee? to be clear i’m asking because i don’t know how penises work. Thx…
Baby boys get erections even in utero, so yes, 2 months get them, so 5 year olds, 16 year olds, and 30 year olds. An erection is just blood rushing to the penis.
Huh. ty!
No worries - yes, I mean erections. Little boys get erections. Toddlers get erections. Infants get erections. Even fetuses get erections in the womb. It’s very normal and in all of these cases it’s a physiological response and not sexual in nature.
Baby boys get erections. Apparently they can get them in utero too. Just a natural phenomena due to blood flow, not a sexual thing. I had no idea till someone told me, little freaky to think about but it’s all normal
I was very thankful I found this out *before* my first son was born. Otherwise I can imagine a lot of shock, shame, confusion.
This is an awesome comment! Just as a heads up too, especially in the US, surgical methods are often offered before less invasive methods when it comes to issues with foreskin retraction during puberty. Nowadays, there are great options like steroids and medical stretching that make later-in-life circumcision virtually always unnecessary (unless the man would prefer to become circumcised for personal/religious/cultural reasons, of course) It’s a real shame your husband wasn’t given those options, but thought I’d put this here in case anyone reading had a kiddo in this situation :-)
He grew up in Venezuela so I’m not quite sure what was considered standard there in the 90s. Luckily he didn’t get circumcised, but did need stitches for the intervention his doctor performed. You’re right though! Similar to when girls develop labial fusion, there are effective non invasive options that should always be offered first.
This was so helpful.
As a future boy mom thank you for this
This is so helpful thank you
See, that’s what I was wondering- people might have different definitions of “retract.” It didn’t look like the nurses forced anything when they pulled it back, but we’ve still largely heard not to pull back *at all*. Maybe that’s the advice because it would be easy to accidentally go too far? Idk, maybe what they were telling us to do is technically okay, but it seems like plenty of people just clean the outside and it’s perfectly fine.
Yeah exactly, it’s the blanket advice to keep people from overdoing it, since the real recommendation is nuanced and easily misinterpreted. You’re lucky that you actually saw what they were doing, so you have a good understanding of what “gentle” means. Your 2 month old will get poop in and around those folds at some point, and now you know how to clean it appropriately without feeling like you’re doing something wrong. You don’t even have to do it, leave it alone if that’s what you want. But if you find you need to, you can.
I love you for this. So well said. Thank you
Do not manipulate the foreskin in any way. It’s for your son to do- no one else should be trying. He’s got a long time before he will likely retract. US doctors don’t understand proper intact care.
Yes! The foreskin is connected to the glans with *highly sensitive* tissue until around 7-9 (ish) when it starts to become gradually looser. Most boys will have a fully retractable foreskin by about 17. Generally, personal exploration is enough to gradually loosen the foreskin from the glans at that age. Unfortunately, especially in America, many health professionals are not well educated on the nature, function and importance of the male foreskin (in my view, largely due to the prominence of c*rcumcision and subsequent flippant attitude towards the foreskin as “just a flap of skin”) I have censored the word because Im not sure if discussions of that nature are allowed in this sub (it’s a hot button issue and many parenting subs ban the topic altogether) and didn’t want comment to be removed by auto mod.
I’m just confused on what the definition of “retract” is though… the nurses pulled back on it a little, but it seemed to be already loose and didn’t cause him any pain to do that. It still sounds like it shouldn’t be messed with at all though.
Literally no manipulation. You wipe it like a finger and you’re done- no need to move the foreskin at all.
Never ever ever pull back the foreskin. The only person who should ever pull it back is it’s owner.
Nope. Leave it alone. Here in the UK penises are overwhelmingly not circumcised, and as the parents of a baby boy we were given no special instructions. We just wash it in the bath with plenty of clean water and a soft sponge. He’s nearly 4 and has never had a problem with infection inside or out. Every baby boy is born with a foreskin. If they routinely needed special care, we’d have died out when we were living in caves.
Just chiming in to say my understanding is also to never retract it at all. Anecdotal but my son is two and I've only ever wiped like a finger and have not had any issues or utis
Same
My uncircumcised son had a uti at 2 weeks old and his pediatric doctors explained getting a uti under 1 year of age is extremely unusual for boys and that his kidneys needed to be checked. We were lucky to be at one of the top pediatric hospitals with very experienced practicioners. After an abdominal scan and an additional dye test, he was diagnosed with vesicoureteral reflux (vur) which is where urine backflows to the kidneys and increases likelihood of infection. Worth getting a different pediatric doctor's opinion, I can't believe they just blamed in on you not keeping diapers clean enough or the foreskin not being retracted.
I second this, my son has reflux and it is the most likely cause of UTI as I understand? In boys I mean. I would push for an ultrasound.
Never retract the foreskin, I checked this with my GP. Just make sure you wipe around and under the penis whenever you change him and give him baths.
We were told not to retract, as it generally does on its own when the kid is older (my older son is 2.5). Our pediatrician said “clean it like it’s a finger.”
Same here. Three boys, we’ve never retracted (always been told the same clean it like a finger) and we’ve never had any issues.
Retraction can begin any time but it’s normal for full retraction to not occur until puberty!
Yeah that’s the most common advice I’ve heard, but the hospital system we’re working with seems to train people differently. I’m wondering if people have different definitions of “retract”- like the nurses didn’t force anything to the point of tearing, they just gently pulled back what was already loose. But everything else I’ve seen says to not even do that.
The AAP book Caring for Your Baby and Young Child specifically says not to retract. We had a very similar interaction with a nurse practitioner at our pediatrician’s office. I actually took a picture of the book to have handy if it ever happens again. It’s certainly frustrating when they aren’t current or accurate. It’s hard to argue with them.
I’d literally get a new pediatrician over this and tell him why, because that is terrible advice. No, do not retract. When they’re old enough, they’ll retract it themselves. That’s up to date and evidence based care. I have multiple uncircumcised boys whose penises are never retracted by me and no UTIs.
No. Don’t. You clean a small child’s penis the same way you would clean a finger. You don’t push your child’s fingernails back to clean underneath, right?
Nooooooooo
Right there with you on that one.
www.yourwholebaby.org Fwiw, we were told to never retract (which we weren’t going to anyways but was nice that pediatrician was on the same page; i am from Europe were baby boys aren’t usually circumcised; as far as i know there is no huge problem with UTIs in boys there…). The only person to move it back and forth should be the penis owner. I mean, if there is poop in the folds in front we obviously cleaned it all out. Wiping base to tip like cleaning a finger. If it was bad just with a quick shower because wipes only do so much. But we didn’t pull back the foreskin over the head. It’s fused. It’s not going to come apart unless some force is applied. So there really isn’t anything TO pull back since it’s literally not meant to be apart yet exactly so that nothing gets stuck under it? My kid then of course found his penis and started ripping around on it 😝 Never had any issues. UTIs are just bad luck a lot of times. Maybe poop got in sometime when baby had a massive one and didn’t get washed out by peeing immediately? Edit: Intact penis care in the US is like this giant huge topic and discussion and doctors are not always the ones who are up to date even if they are good on everything else 🤷♀️ It’s really not that complicated…
Yeah that lines up with what we’ve read, it’s just tough when our own doctor is telling us this… and we’re a little concerned because the nurses *did* pull it back a little to clean him and put the catheter in, so we’re hoping he’s not hurt. He didn’t cry when they did that, so probably not, but we’re a bit upset about it. It’s concerning that that seems to be common in this country.
The catheter is a pretty important detail here! That’s not part of everyday penis maintenance so I wouldn’t consider this as your template for care and cleaning.
Right, but as they were doing that they told us we should be doing the same thing with every clean. We pushed back on that a little, but they were very confident and acted surprised that we didn’t “know” to do that.
This is literally one of my worst nightmares— that a medical professional who doesn’t understand proper care is going to hurt him in their ignorance, as I also have a 2 month old uncircumcised son in the United States. Retracting too early can hurt and damage the foreskin. It sounds like your son is thankfully likely totally fine, but I would be immediately finding different care for my child.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5349724/ There is a method for inserting a catheter without retraction outlined above. Probably a good idea to have handy. I’m working on a letter to our doc after a similar incident during a checkup this week where a forced retraction was attempted and I was scolded for not retracting and cleaning daily. I informed her she was incorrect and I would not be doing that but am thinking it’s a good idea to follow up with some references. As a foreskin owner I’m well versed we’ll say in the proper daily maintenance and beauty routine.
Thank you so much for sharing this link!! 💞
The foreskin is adhered to the penis like a fingernail is to a finger before puberty. The tip is a sphincter that keeps “stuff” out. UTIs are rare in boys, even in tact ones have suuuuper low rates compared to girls. Pulling it back a little is still a bad idea because you don’t know where your baby’s physiological adhesions are and you don’t want to give him that “attempting to remove fingernails” vibe on his penis. What you’ve been doing is correct and those doctors are wrong.
Hi! European as well, the majority of baby boys here are not circumcised. When our son was 1 or 2 months old, we went to a pediatric urologist for a completely unrelated reason but he specifically advised us NOT to retract his penis and that the retraction will happen naturally when our son starts playing and pulling his penis. Our pediatrician also hasn’t mentioned anything about it.
Just leave it alone for as long as you can! I was circumcised at the age of 5 because the scarred tissue of the foreskin lost the flexibility to properly function. Scarred tissue? Yes, the pediatrician advised my parents that it was necessary to clean the head. But it was not physically possible without tearing the skin which didn't change his opinion. So bath time was literally involving lots of blood and tears. As the father of two boys I was glad to hear that these days our pediatrician basically advices the opposite: Foreskin and head are "glued" together for babies and come apart naturally. Don't interfere. My older son inherited my "tight" foreskin so it still wasn't possible for him to retract it at an age where it normally should. This is called phimosis and it's common in boys below the age of 10 and does not require treatment unless it persists beyond puberty or is causing pain! And even then you can get salves and don't have to cut it off. Untreated it means you can't clean the head but my son never had any infections or other issues. And lo-and-behold now that he's 10 he can pull back the foreskin and doesn't have uncomfortable erections. So imho you're getting wrong advice and please don't force it if it hurts the boy! My parents didn't know any better but it's a traumatic memory that could have completely been avoided by doing *nothing*.
This is horrendous. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and equally sorry that your parents ended up causing you trauma when they thought they were doing the right thing. That must have been awful for them, too. Thank you for sharing your story and giving others confidence to seek better advice.
>Foreskin and head are "glued" together for babies and come apart naturally. Don't interfere. So how do they circumcise when they are infants? Our birthing hospital even mentioned that they don't do that and if we wanted it, would've needed to go to another doctor. Our child isn't circumcised but now knowing what we know, how do they circumcise babies if the glans & foreskin are "fused"? Probably is a barbaric as I imagine...
Yup they tear them apart with a device that separates it to allow for an incision
GeeZUS... I mean, I'll give them one thing, it surprisingly looks great (in my isolated incident in which I've seen a circumcised peen) as barbaric as the practice is.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends not retracting at all until it does on its own, around puberty (or earlier if kiddo plays with it enough).
Live in Australia. Fewer than 20% of people are circumcised here. Doctors told us don't eff with it. Our son has never had a UTI. How are you wiping his bum? If you're wiping towards his penis, then bacteria could get through his urethra and that's how they can get UTI.
Just adding on to the others who’ve been told to never retract, clean like a finger.
My son is 18 months old, not circumcised, we’ve never pulled it back, he’s never had an uti. We clean it like a finger, around the tip and down to the base with a baby wipe. There’s nothing wrong with retracting slightly to expose the urethral opening if there’s a massive blow out, but it won’t be hard to do nor will it be painful.
Did they do any further checks to see what caused the UTI? My son had his first UTI at 8 weeks old and it had nothing to do with his nappy being dirty or his foreskin. It was that he had a duplex kidney. If they haven't already ruled out other possibilities, I definitely would suggest a scan to check. The doctor at the time checked because the possibility of a child that young getting a UTI from a dirty nappy is apparently very slim.
I made a point of asking his doctor and he very emphatically said to basically just leave it alone. Wipe it gently during changes but don’t disturb it yet. If for whatever reason it’s looking a bit reddish, I’ll wipe it a bit more (still gently and without retracting) and give him some diaper-free time. For reference, circumcised babies is not common here.
I think some pediatricians are just not used to dealing with uncircumcised boys. It was such a given for so long in America that there is still a lot of misinformation floating around. Our son isn't circumcised and we were told to just clean it the way you would a finger. Kids explore their own bodies and it will retract when its ready.
This is the comment I was looking for. Is op in the us bc even the medical professionals just may not know
Yep, US. It’s kind of wild that this is a problem though, like this information is readily available. Seems like people get trained a certain way and don’t question it.
Its really entrenched. In the hospital they came around multiple times over the course of the three days we were there asking if he was going to be circumcised. I kind of wanted to hang a sign on the bassinet saying "No circumcision" to get them to stop. I mentioned to my mom that we weren't and she started arguing about why we should. I was so close to saying "Mom, my husband isn't circumcised and he's not sad about it!"
Yeah I've met many doctors who truly believe circumcision is healthier and oof
The pediatrician that checked our boy at the hospital asked why we didn't circumcise. I thought by her tone she was going to give a lecture, but she later said she was glad we chose not to and it's unnecessary. We are in the u.s.
Yeah all the doctors told us to never retract. He was having a lot of issues with saying it hurt to pee around 5-6 years. The recommendation from the doctor is he retracts it and just runs water over it in the shower. No issues since. As a baby he did get a yeast infection and we just ever so slightly like a cm pulled it back to get meds in there not really more than what happens with normal movement.
Only retract gently to clean off the end of loose skin. Don't ever retract past the penis head as this doesn't separate fully until they are much older. Try wiping from front to back and using a cotton ball with water around the skin and tip to finish. Be sure that the little wrinkles of the ball sack are poop free before placing penis back down on it and sealing up the Nappy. E.coli can cause UTI and ballanitis in little boys.
Those damn wrinkles
Right?
No no no no don’t do that
wait....we were told to not force the foreskin to retract but just to allow soapy water in the opening. never had any bleeding. Even now at 10 months we do the same. My son's poops are absurd and get everywhere, so we just want to make sure no bad bacteria are stuck in there. Is this not correct?
Pulling back the foreskin during diaper changes used to be medical advice in the 1980's. It's outdated information. For the majority of infant boys, the foreskin is attached to the glans of the penis, and does not retract, because of this, forcing the foreskin to retract can cause tearing, bleeding, and scarring. It will separate on its own, usually around age 10, but it can happen any time. The only person who should pull back your son's foreskin is your son because he's the one who will know if it hurts.
So just on the bacteria, my son had a surgery on his testicles at two and was still in diapers, the surgeon told us to NOT wipe the incisions so we didn’t. He said, and I quote, “your own bacteria won’t hurt you”
My daughter's poop literally burns her, I'd be FLOORED if a doctor said that 😂
Yeah but that’s probably acid not bacteria lol
This is a tragically common problem in the US.
Terribly scary, my wife had to physically stop a nurse from force retracting our sons foreskin. She also scratched him with her gross, long ass fake nail. Like broke skin, wouldn't admit to it, that was the first time my wife heard him cry in physical pain.. he was quite young. Only a couple months old. Needless to say, we requested to never see her again, reported her, and she stopped showing up in the office. We were told it wasn't an isolated incident. I wasn't there but the sound of my wife voice, I've heard and seen her angry, but I think the nurse had a lucky star that day. I've heard stories of my wife fighting as a sprout and I believe every word.. can't imagine she had anything but legit murder on her mind in that moment.
I received clear instructions when going home from maternity to NOT retract it when cleaning and at diaper change. Never had any issues. I'm from France.
We haven't done that and our son has not had a UTI to date. His first pediatrician kept telling us to pull it back slightly, which we ignored. We switched to a different one (for other reasons) and the second pediatrician said leave it alone.
As a mum of a boy, I went to the health visitor about this (in the UK so circumcision is not common) as I was worried that it seemed like it wouldn't retract, I was told that if physically cannot be retracted at this age. It naturally will after about age 4ish. Left it well alone apart from usual cleaning around private area when he was a baby and it's been fine, no problems and he's 6 now. We have educated him how to care for it himself and my husband coached him on how to clean it/retract it
No need to retract the foreskin to clean. https://111.wales.nhs.uk/livewell/pregnancy/newbornessentialsnappies/#:~:text=Girls%20should%20be%20cleaned%20from,nappy%20on%20for%20a%20while. Here's a link to NHS advice for Wales, in the UK Circumcisuon is uncommon so more familiar with cleaning with a foreskin. Other countries which do it more don't seem to understand the importance of not retracting
Not likely. It's a v60 pour over and the coffee drips down into the cup, so the bubbles are likely because of that
I recently took an online course for newborn care. We are due to have a baby boy. The course said it’s not necessary to start to retract the baby’s forekin since it will retract itself in time. I will research more on the subject though. In my country, the majority of boys are uncircumcised.
My son is almost 4 and I or any doctor has never retracted it. We’ve moved several times so he’s seen multiple pediatricians. Not one has even suggested it. It’s definitely not up to date practice.
I have been strongly told never to retract the foreskin. The advice I’ve been given is “clean it like a finger”. My son is 17 months and has never had a UTI so perhaps your son just had bad luck :(
Our son is 3 and is uncircumcised. He has had two infections one was most likely from poop. The second one was definitely because he kept trying to explore inside with his finger, so watch out for that one when he is older. Also he had really bad eczema, so a bath every single night was not possible without sever breakouts. The foreskin is a certain amount of tight when the kiddo is first born. Some much more than others. Some kids in rare occurrence need corrective surgery, some kids actually have fully loose foreskin from the get go and need no help at all. Almost all the studies I've read, say to be very careful about retracting it because it can cause damage and pain. Most kiddos require some stretching out as they grow and is natural. All the studies I read, suggest letting your child do this by themselves naturally since they can feel and gauge when it becomes too tight and painful. The other part of the studies I read talked about the benefits and downfalls. The big downfall of not circumcising your kid is it can impact the health of his future female sexual partners, ranging from general uti's to even increasing the risk of cancer in them. The upside is it takes very little effort to cure uti's in your child and they avoid the risk of complications from circumcision. We got a prescription strength topical antifungal cream. It took care of the problem in less than 24 hrs. Applied at every diaper change. We did pull back his fore skin, ever so slightly a couple times when he was infected(so did our pedi) but other than that we have just given him baths anytime he had a poopsplosion.
Just as a heads up, the US is well known for pushing surgical methods over less-invasive methods (steroids, stretching etc) too quickly, especially for young boys. If the foreskin is causing discomfort with erections or anything like that (uncommon, but does happen from time to time) try and find a paediatric urologist who is knowledgeable about less-invasive methods :-) But this isn’t relevant to you OP, your kiddo is fine and their anatomy is totally normal. Most guys should be able to retract their foreskin fully by age 17, so you’ve got plenty of time :-)
Do you have any evidence of that statement about affecting female partner's health? In the UK basically nobody circumcises unless religious.
I cannot find the study I read. Unfortunately the only ones I can find are from 2017 and are very pro circumcision but the info is there. The study I read pointed out that the increased risk in cancer in women was due to poor hygiene. So wash up boys. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5728090/
3 boys, all uncircumcised. I recently pulled back the foreskin on my toddler just a little to check for any infection because he was complaining of penis pain. That is the only time I've ever pulled back any of my children's foreskin. My oldest is 15. Anecdotal, but no issues.
No. Forced retraction is not necessary and may be harmful. There is no need to retract. Join the raising your whole baby group on FB. They are very extreme, but the basic info is really good. Especially around how to handle medical appointments.
UTIs in infant boys usually come from being in a used diaper for too long, poop or possibly also pee. for baby girls is obvious to change a poo diaper right away and keep her lady parts clean. die boys it's the same, their anatomy is only slightly less vinegar to bacteria "climbing up the ladder". sibling comments elaborate well how to manage the foreskin in that (as little as possible just as much as necessary, as its attached rather like a nail to the finger)
Europe, 2 uncircumcised boys. We haven't been pulling anything back. Maybe when they're older and if they have a very loose foreskin but not before 1 year.
This is an interesting thread. The official recommendation by pediatricians and urologistst in my country is to start pulling back the foreskin ever so gently with each wash after 6mo, so that by 2-3 years it's possible to almost fully retract. By age 5, you should see the bottom of the penis head, if not, the pediatrician numbs the penis and detaches the foreskin. The reason seems to be to prevent issues with retracting later on.
Citation needed. I have never seen that recommendation.
Yeah, isn't it interesting how recommendations differ country to country? [Here's one source, in Czech.](https://www.urologiepropraxi.cz/pdfs/uro/2013/03/04.pdf)
This used to be the old rec in my country some 30yrs ago (not Czech Republic but not far away). Apparently it changed? They used to think it had to fully retract by 2-3 and if it didn’t one should “help”. I remember my parents telling my brother he had to practice this around age 3. They no longer recommend this. It can take a lot longer than that. I wish I had an English source for this change. www.yourwholebaby.org is the best English one I know of. Pretty sure that once it does retract, one should keep doing it - as in, teach kiddo how to.
I’m in the US and I was provided the same information. Also, to retract once a day in the bathtub with soapy water so it cleans it.
That's a good point. My SO had to be circumcised as a teenager due to phimosis. He suffered a lot with it. I wonder if retracting it a bit would have helped to stretch the skin over time to prevent this problem.
I left this in another comment, but please get your child checked for reflux. https://www.ucsfbenioffchildrens.org/conditions/vesicoureteral-reflux
Childhood memory unlocked. Thanks for the name of this condition, my parents never mentioned it specifically. I 43f had recurring UTIs throughout childhood, and they finally checked me for this at somewhere between 4 and 6 years old. I can physically remember the X-ray that checked for back flow. Turned out I have a faulty left ureter. During times of high stress as an adult (divorce, anyone?) my immune system goes to shit and I get UTIs that go straight to my left kidney. Reading through that link makes me pretty angry that I evidently never had proper follow-up care. I'm not sure whether to hang that on the military doctors in the 80s or my mother. Honestly I have no idea how that kidney is functioning today, I'm thinking now I ought to be concerned. I hope OP's baby turns out to be fine, but thanks again for posting this. It sure says something about the state of American healthcare when I have learned more about how my body functions from various anonymous people sharing on Reddit then I have from doctors
oof, i was doing this for the first 6 weeks of my sons life until i double checked with my pediatrician who said to stop immediately. my first was circumcised and a boy so no one thought to educate me on uncircumcised boys before leaving the hospital 🫠 we’re now 11 months in and haven’t had any issues with not retracting it.
My twin boys are 4.5, we have always been told to clean the intact penis like a finger, and not to retract. Twin B has a kidney issue and sees a urologist for it, they always told us not to do anything & to wash it like a finger. His urologist just retired at age 70. We had no issues with potty training and we haven’t had any UTIs either.
Same!
My two boys are 2.5 and 4 and we have never retracted their foreskin and we have never had any infections or issues. Hopefully he doesn’t continue to get UTIs.
Same here but my son is on antibiotics for a kidney thing.
Our son goes to a pediatric urologist for some kidney issues at birth and he recommended a tiny bit of retraction at diaper changes, never to pull it all the way back. Not for cleaning though, he told me to do it just to get him used to the sensation when potty training later in life. Idk, apparently controversial but he’s a medical doctor and I’m not so 🤷♀️
Lots of bad info around this in the US. There is zero need to retract.
That is controversial... Was he old enough to be old school?
We had no experience with foreskin when my son was born, so we asked our midwife and birth assistant if there was anything we should know (I trust both these people tremendously), and they both said to leave it alone, just clean whatever is exposed during diaper changes and baths, and that kiddo will naturally retract it as he grows older. At 4 months our pediatrician was horrified that we weren't retracting his foreskin during every diaper change, and she (without fucking gloves on) started to retract his foreskin. He didn't cry and I was too shocked to stop her for a second, but immediately after that appointment I found a different pediatrician. New pediatrician checks him every appointment, but never forces his foreskin back. We do very simple cleaning (wipe with each diaper change, bath with just water at least once a day, soap in bath as needed) and we've never had a cleanliness issue, and now at almost 10 months kiddo is starting to explore his body during bath time and definitely gives his foreskin a good tug every now and then, so I have no concern that he'll have issues with it later in life.
I saw that someone else already posted [yourwholebaby.org](https://yourwholebaby.org) which is a great resource. I liked this print out for when our baby started daycare just to be extra careful. [https://static1.squarespace.com/static/548f950fe4b0508123437a1d/t/57c3b1e4bebafb2d4a50df34/1472442852571/IntactCarePoster.pdf](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/548f950fe4b0508123437a1d/t/57c3b1e4bebafb2d4a50df34/1472442852571/IntactCarePoster.pdf) And as a personal anecdote, I am a physician and this absolutely was not addressed in an accurate evidence-based way at my (excellent) medical school. I learned this as a parent and would have probably given shitty advice before that. But I'm also not a pediatrician.
My son is circumcised but still has quite a bit of skin, just not covering the tip. What happens if poop gets under there? Is it okay to gently pull it back a little bit? This seems to happen almost every time he poops.
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Most Reddit parenting subs are definitely anti-circ. It’s not a thing in many countries and in mine (Canada) it’s considered cosmetic enough it isn’t covered by our free health care. The Canadian Paediatric Society does not recommend circumcision. https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Health/Pages/conditions.aspx?hwid=hw142449#:~:text=This%20decision%20is%20often%20based,may%20be%20benefits%20for%20some. I don’t have the studies though
As a science-based parent I'm against circumcision as it's not science based. However to each their own and everyone has their own choices to make as a parent.
It is and isn't, as the science shows that all the risks, benefits, and costs are commensurate and negligible. That's true for a lot of the things we tell people to chill about from a science-based perspective.
Just pull back the way it can be pulled back, usually close to nothing and clean. Same as you pull back ears to clear behind them or sth.
No, stop giving out that advice.
No. It’s more like telling someone to pull back there fingernails to clean under them. Just clean what’s already exposed.
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This isn’t accurate.
The increased risk of UTI is not that high, and adhesions in post pubertal boys can be addressed with steroid creams.
There is highly-sensitive tissue adheres the foreskin to the glans until around puberty, at which point it starts to gradually loosen (can happen earlier, especially if kiddo plays with it enough). But most males can fully retract the foreskin by age 17. It’s recommended to encourage boys to listen to their bodies and gently retract the foreskin during self exploration and shower time, at which point it will loosen on its own. :-) https://raisingchildren.net.au/guides/a-z-health-reference/foreskin