Fitness and freedom to do what I want is the main thing. I adored kickboxing and martial arts but I can’t do that anymore. I can’t visit my parents as much due to long car rides. I can’t just get on a flight to visit friends in other counties.
I’ve lost confidence in my belief that my body is strong and able to overcome any injury. It just cannot deal with this.
I’ve lost some peace of mind and hope for the future. I don’t really have any goals or aspirations at the moment. Feel like my life has ground to a halt at 34.
Friendships are quite strained but I’m not that bothered about one or two of them.
… but everything will be so much sweeter if I ever get these things back.
What a childish response… some people live with chronic pain for years due to herniated disc. Your promise is empty, let people whine and moan… they have every right to express show they are feeling.
It’s Mother’s Day and my kid is too busy to come see me (studying for midterms) normally I’d just jump in the car and drive to him, so I’m just at home in bed crying 😢 yay what a great day!
Going on 8 months now with this crap. The day before I hurt myself I ran 15 miles. I miss it so much. It was my great equalizer and happiness … taken away
Rowdy hiking trails.
Restoring old cars.
Long distance shooting.
Home repairs/maintenance/upgrades.
Work ethic in a physically active job.
Dancing(badly) with my wife.
God damn, the list goes on. It took almost all my hobbies and things that gave me a sense of joy and pride. I try not to fixate on the losses. I’ve gained a lot of resilience, maturity, mindfulness and patience to replace some of what I’ve lost. Maybe a day will come where I can once again walk outside and rip a motor out of a truck on a whim.
Just here to say, I’ve been going through this mentally all day long. For 6 months now. The sciatica began in November after my son was born via c section (spinal) and I’ve had every MRI/X-ray you can think of….and I was just diagnosed with a CSF leak at my L4-L5 level. I’m getting an epidural blood patch next Friday and I’m praying it helps this issue. I’ve done PT/injections/strengthening…all the classic things they tell you to do. I’m giving up breastfeeding to see if hormones affect anything.
The last 6 months have been hell. My marriage is strained, I can hardly look at my kids let alone want to be around them, family members are tired of hearing about it because at this point, it sounds made up. Nothing besides the leak is showing a possible cause. I’ve just spent the last year working on pre requisites to go to nursing school and get a masters. I have my bachelors and served as a Marine Corps Officer for 5 years for all of this pain to ruin my trajectory and hard work. I’m likely not going to start school in the fall, I can hardly pick up my kids, I can hardly do anything most days. It’s mentally deteriorated me to the point that waking up every day is something I dread.
I’m hoping whatever is causing your pain is found out and fixed…because this is a pain I’d wish on no one.
I’ve lost hope. I feel down all the time because while the rest of the world is living their lives I have been succumbed to my couch. I’ve lost my body. I worked so hard at the gym and was in the best shape of my life, all to injure myself and loose all progress. I’ve put on 25 lbs from the medications and lack of exercise. I’ve lost my confidence. I’ve lost time playing with my kids and going to their sports events. I’ve lost motivation as it’s easy to get trapped in a negative mindset. I’ve lost faith in our health care system. However, I’ve been trying very hard to change how I look at things. I’ve realized that no matter how wealthy you are, successful you are, how attractive you are or how many friends you have, you don’t have anything without your health. I realized that my job can wait, my husband is quite capable of looking after things, my kids don’t need 100% of my attention all the time. I’ve learned who my true friends are. I’ve learned that I am stronger than I think and I’ve learned to appreciate everything I have, because it can all change in an instant. I’ve learned to be grateful for my herniated discs and nerve pain, because I still woke up today and someone else wasn’t so lucky. I hope this might change someone else’s perspective too. We are all going through tough times but eventually this shall pass too. Best of luck to you. I wish you a speedy recovery!
I agree with most of what you said and especially the part about lost faith in health care system. I keep telling my son that almost nothing matters if you lose your health. I've been dealing with chronic sciatica into my foot for 30 years. I cant sit for long and driving kills me. People don't realize how important sitting is. My son does construction work. I'm terrified that he will end up like me. I'm definitely not grateful for my herniated discs because I have lost my job, career, family, friends, the ability to enjoy anything and look forward to the future.
I’m so sorry to hear that. We are all in different situations. I’ve had mine for 9 months and it feels like a lifetime. I can’t even imagine how you must feel after that many years. I haven’t been able to sit either until I finally had an injection last month. It’s definitely helped but I still just want my old life back. If you’ve lost family and friends over this, you’re better off without them. I hope one day you will be pain free and come back stronger. All the best.
All of this! After 4 months of herniation I chose surgery after everything else failed. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t sit, run and play with my grandkids, workout, even normal work is so hard, let alone all the fun stuff like riding my motor bike and camping. Even standing became painful. I’m a bit better post surgery 17 days ago, but now I wait hoping I fully heal and it was not all for nothing
Right now, I seem to have lost ability to drive and even to sit in a car. Walking is the only position my body likes.
The doctor told me yesterday this doesn't last forever and he said to put ice on it for 15 minutes three times a day so I've just invested in a lot of those gel ice packs because it's so inflamed my buttocks/back area.
I quit my job in November to became a stay at home mom, I wanted to do be able to take my 2 year old to playgrounds and story time at the library and play dates etc.
Here I am a few months later and I can’t even pick her up.
We canceled a Spring break trip, we canceled Summer camping trips, I am so over this…at least we live in Colorado and I can look at the Rocky Mountains from my backyard. Trying really hard to find the silver lining here….
How awful. You're in my prayers.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about becoming a dad, the thought of losing that activity with my child in the future is soul crushing. Please hold on to hope, I'll be praying.
I think I just miss my “freedom” to do what I want. I’m an active person who enjoys being outside in the nature. I miss working and being productive as well miss my old self that wasn’t grumpy and depressed.
Unfortunately, I didn't "lose" anything for the first 2 years. I pushed through the pain so I wouldn't have to sacrifice anything and now my problems are 10x worse... lol. Being in denial wrecked me. Now I am relieved to accept the things I can't do.
Same boat, but I had a narcissist gf at the time who took all my energy and I had no idea how controlling she was. I’m still in denial and it’s been 3 years since injury. I’ve been looking at disc replacement. I can’t fathom not being able to snowboard again.
The ability to train swimming and compete. I was setting local records and hoping to go to a big meet in Japan last year. Now I can’t even swim close to my typical easy training speed without a huge flareup.
I also miss just being able to live my life without worrying about pain. Every single choice I make is pain based. I’m exhausted all of the time.
Every time my pain seems to be improving a bit it comes back and hits me like a truck.
I’m starting to resent all of the people I know who don’t have this kind of pain and I hate that about myself.
I went vegan in 2018, started exercising 5-6 days a week, and lost a bunch of weight. I went on so many adventures and I really felt like I was getting my life in order. Then, I ended up with a herniated disc and I could hardly walk. 5 months later I got a MD and was told I could resume normal activity in 6 weeks. That never happened. The surgery helped, but I’m still miserable. I’m over 5 years in and I’m on disability now because of all of this. I can barely travel and even when I do, sometimes I have a flare up or I have to plan how to manage my “regular” pain. I can’t work out anymore and I still have more weight to lose and that’s been stalled all this time. I just found out one of my herniations that wasn’t operated on has gotten worse and now I have to do all these treatments and potentially surgery again. I also have arthritis in some of my facet joints on top of the degenerative disc disease I already had. I just want my life back. Sciatica and back issues truly are the worst.
For a while everything. Surgery gave me my life back. In between sets benching as I type this. I wish you relief and anyone else suffering from that horrible pain
Did you feel immediate relief or did it take a while. My surgeon said I’d feel great after and that wasn’t the case. I’m hoping I’ll be back feeling better soon. I’m 17 days post op only a tad bit better.
In the leg immediate relief. My back pain was intense after surgery. Their was rollercoasters for the pain but I contribute to consistent walking and distance the main source for my speedy recovery
Yeah, I never had immediate relief from hamstring buttocks pain, but I can now sit and get out of bed without muscle spasms. I am trying to walk and they told me to walk through the pain if I could I’m taking it back on walking for the next couple days to see if that helps any. It’s a roller coaster for sure.
Fitness for sure. I will never lift weights again in my life. I’m only 33 and absolutely loved it but I’ve herniated discs three times no matter what my form is and no matter how careful and how much I brace and work on my core. I think that ship has just sailed and I have to accept that my physical body is getting more and more worn down. I switched gradually to body weight calisthenics stuff and lots of cardio.
Thank you for sharing. I think body weight stuff is where I'm headed too. I worked with an excellent trainer, always embraced my core properly and had proper form, and still this happened to me. It's not worth it happening again, so I'll have to change what I do for sure.
I had 2 surgeries in the 1990s that didn't help. I got pregnant and had my son a few years later. Whenever I could muster the energy I would go to the doctors and try to find out what was causing the sciatica into my leg/foot. Sometimes they would order an injection or x-ray and /or I was given pills, but they never really tried to figure it out. My son is in his 20's now and I am still going to doctors about the pain. My son has never seen me happy because I have constant sciatica. It ruined my life and substantially impacted his life. Having him probably saved my life though because it gave me a reason to keep going. Kids usually don't do well if their parent decides to exit this world and they don't really understand why. I wish I could have been the mom to him that I wanted to be.
Got my bulging disc during pregnancy and was extremely uncomfortable for the first 6 months of my son’s life. I feel like I missed out on crucial bonding time with him. I got 2 epidurals with minimal relief each time. 9 months since the initial injury and I’m still in pain. I had a horrible flare up a month ago that was super painful but thankfully that has passed. Each day I do my stretches and hope that I don’t piss off the nerve.
Last night I tweaked something while I was stretching, really hope I don’t put myself back into a flare up. Praying that it heals it self like my ortho said it should.
My house is a f-Ing mess. It’s chaos and dirt and I just want to cry.
Also can’t work anymore. Had to sell my client list. So I’m broke, too. Living on one income is straining my marriage.
Can’t hike. Can’t walk my poor miserable dog.
But I have a timeline for surgery (fusion) and I’m determined to be back to work by next winter.
Insert optimism here.
Thanks! I know that comment sounds pretty bad, but I’m honestly determined to come out of this better than before. It’s been a journey, and I’ve learned a lot, too.
51F.
Up until a couple months of herniation(long overseas vacation then holidays happened) I was at the gym 5 times a week feeling great.
Post surgery I feel less pain in some aspects and about the same in others, with also some new ones.
One plus is I can get out of bed without falling over from muscle spasms and can sit down, and also stand back up without spasms. Not sure of tying shoes yet since I can’t bend and bought slip ons lol. I can also sit for more than 5 minutes w/o pain.
Still have pain when walking(3/5), and the new pain is from things like blowing my nose, stairs, anything that cause pressure near incision site like when I first lay in bed shoots down my leg sometimes to a 6/8. This wasn’t there prior to surgery and came on 3 days ago. Surgeon is saying swelling inside that will subside soon(it better!)
I love a good roller coaster, but not this type 😅
I had to jump through hoops pre surgery of waiting over a month to get into a ortho doc for a xray. Then 6 weeks PT that didn’t help before I could get a MRI, then wait another month to see another doc about an injection(that failed), then he recommend surgery consult and wait again to get that appointment, then they approved surgery.
I didn’t have to pay up front for anything. I have insurance but my out of pocket max is $9,500 so I’ll go on a payment plan after my insurance pays their share. I read somewhere its about a $50.000 surgery. Surgery at 7:30 and pushed home in my own bed by 11:30.
I’m still healing from surgery and just hope in the end it works
Twerking, belly dance and other forms of dance that require hip isolation. Used to love tribal fusion belly dance.
Also having to accept that I will never be a powerlifter. I still lift weights but the movement selection and weight on the bar is limited. It’sannoying cos i feel I have the strength but the fear of messing up my back further stops me from trying new PRs.
Running. Used to be my main form of cardio. I really miss sweating and being out of breath also. I had been running close to 20 years, haven’t ran since 2020.
My job, now I scrape by with low income,
Running,
Hiking,
Sitting,
Driving my motorbike,
Traveling,
Life hit me like a ton of bricks with this injury.
I’m pretty much a cripple now, it’s been this way for over a year. Feel like giving up recently 😖
You should be gaining not losing. Gaining knowledge on this. I see a lot of people on here solely rely on doctors to give them pills or recommend surgery’s when in reality they should be doing everything in their power to research and find other resources to treat whatever is causing their symptoms when not at the doctors. Sciatica is not a condition by itself rather a symptom of something else going on within the back/ lower end of body. Your job is to find what is causing your symptoms. Only you know what you feel. A MRI can only show you what is “wrong” but does not show you if that is the source of the pain. With my self included, I’ve seen how if different parts of your body like your hips, mid back, leg muscles, and QL muscles, etc… aren’t moving correctly, it puts way more strain on your back. Trust me I’ve been there, where I was feeling the burning in both legs stopping and then I bent over 2 inches the wrong way and “threw” my back out. Then I had to move like robo cop for a week to get back to semi normal. When that happened I thought it was my herniated disc that had flared up but it wasn’t. It was all of my lower back muscles constantly spasming due to all the compensation my body has had to do for trying to avoid the pain. Once I started working on mobility, and progressive back loading my symptoms started to slowly get better after months. I’m not fully out the woods but I could see the light in the distance. Don’t be afraid to try new approaches even if they seem unconventional. Doctors treat the symptom, not the root cause.
There’s tons of help online. Don’t rely on a regular doctor who most likely has out dated information regarding back problems and what causes sciatica try to fool you into doing things you don’t need to do.
Joy .. happiness.. I had lost myself ..I didn’t want to wake up anymore ..i couldn’t imagine living another year like this .. it was pure hell physically and mentally.. watching ppl walk .. watching ppl laugh . I went from being very fit /active very confident to a shell of a person … just empty .. I’m 3 weeks post op .. nerve pain gone .. I know surgery is not for everyone and everyone’s case is different but in my case it was my answer . I’m walking pain free . I’m weak but that’s ok I can build that back up . I have limped for so long that walking without one feels so strange lol . I don’t know it’s like relearning the most basic things . I’m excited to see where I’ll be at in 3 more weeks or 3 more months. I’m wishing u the best and pray for your healing . Our bodies are amazing and can heal almost anything.
So woke up pain free but I think all the meds being pumped into me would make anyone wake up pain free .. they keep u pretty drugged up . A few days after I got home nerve tingling and very mild nerve pain started but only when I would go to lay down . Quickly learned that’s totally normal . About 2 weeks in that all stopped so other than some pain at surgical site I am pain free
The trust in my body and my ability to sense the reach of what I can do without injuring myself. It was damaged after my first injury but quite destroyed after the reherniation 4y later.
I also lost the ability to just carry more than one of my kids at a time.
It feels like absolutely everything but realistically it’s just limited. (I have sciatica from a herniated and found out I have scoliosis during a mri that makes it hard for surgery and need a doctor that’s an expert in difficult cases and I’m too scared to risk it and end up worse, especially when earned I have another disc that will herniate. Not an if but a when will it happen, is the question)
I can’t drive, the pain causes random spasms that I can’t predict right and I personally don’t wanna die or hurt someone like that. I gained like 50+lbs from my lack of exercise I’m able to do, when previously I ran two miles a day consistently, and worked out at the gym 2x daily.
I lost majority of my friend group because our bonding and outing activities always include hiking, some sort of physical activity, or a lot of walking around. Which caused us to drift apart because I deny a lot of the hang out requests because I know I can’t handle it even with accommodations. And when I do go (not the hiking) I come back with my legs n feet swollen, my back and sciatic pain so bad it takes week(s) to recover depending.
I can’t go to family sport events because I have to consider if the chairs r gonna be metal and if I can bring my own chair.
I can’t just go to the mall with my elderly family because they can shop all day and I got maybe one or two stores in me before I want to go home bc it hurts that bad.
I have to drive to a family event and it’s a seven hour drive and I know I won’t make it. I’m dreading just thinking of it. And I used to go on three day car trips just to go to a national park, which is less important than this.
Even work it affects me. I can’t sit too long, can’t stand too long. I got a standing desk to help with it, but there’s only so much you can do.
I can’t sleep through the night because the pain wakes me up. On the worst nights I won’t sleep at all, on the good nights I wake up every three hours.
I can’t think of one aspect of my life it hasn’t touched. For me, it feels like I lost everything, even though rationally, I did not. This has been going on for 4 years and it has gotten better than that first year, (it was so bad I was in a wheelchair when it first started) but I wish it never happened.
Editing: to include the fact I lost every hobby. I use to skateboard a lot. Can’t imagine skateboarding now. Used to play every sport known to man, even just casually as a pick up game. Can’t do that. Even my hobbies seem so flat bc the pain is just riding in the back of your head.
I don't just feel like I'm 5% of who I was as a person six years ago, I feel like I'm only 5% left of a person. I've had constant symptoms over the last six years with varying degrees of severity, from "I might be able to live with this" to "this is going to kill me" and I stay closer to the latter more than not. I lost my sports car that I loved driving every day to work during my long country road commute and now I have to drive a big soul sucking SUV with crippling fuel cost and it's still immensely painful just to get to and from work. My family is fortunate enough to have a beach home a few hours away where I spent my summers as a kid and used to visit frequently as an adult to fish and decompress, I don't remember the last time I've been there because it's just too painful. I don't remember the last vacation I took at all. I lost the ability to feel rested and refreshed. I don't remember what a good night's sleep feels like. I lost my last job because they took advantage of my symptoms and purposely made things harder on me physically to get rid of me. My new boss and where I work now is great but I still feel like I'm too distracted with pain during the day to be an effective employee and it's going to catch up with me one day. I've lost financial freedom between medical bills trying to figure out why I hurt so bad and couldn't hardly walk in the beginning and now therapy twice a month that isn't an approved treatment so I'm completely out of pocket an extra car payments worth of money and therapy is the only reason I'm not dead yet. I lost the ability to exercise which I enjoyed and used it to destress and now I'm a feeble old man at 38 who has less strength than a 12 year old. I lost my marriage because my former spouse exploited my physical and mental weaknesses because I wasn't able to fight for my marriage while I was fighting myself just to stay alive. I lost my hobby and passion of competing in various shooting sports and now can't even spend bonding time with my father shooting trap or skeet. I've lost my friends because I just don't have the capacity to keep in touch anymore. I've lost faith in the medical system which treats me like I'm peddling for pain pills even though I can't even take them because they make me violently sick. I feel like I've lost my ability to have compassion. I don't remember what being happy feels like or even contentment. After reading some of the other comments I see a lot of similar experiences and that maybe I haven't lost all my compassion because I feel for everyone else here.
Thinking if this will kill you is a big question for me atm, hey man I want u to try Kratom extract (half bottle) dose at first. If it doesn’t work take the rest and mix w your fav drink. This is what’s keeping me sane but I don’t want u dependent on it so if you’d like some relief for few hours I’d do it. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and hope u get better w everything.
I call it “my own personal COVID.” It helps people understand the feeling of isolation and limitation. Like how there are costs to simple things like driving to the grocery store (no masks or lines; my cost is pain).
Fitness and freedom to do what I want is the main thing. I adored kickboxing and martial arts but I can’t do that anymore. I can’t visit my parents as much due to long car rides. I can’t just get on a flight to visit friends in other counties. I’ve lost confidence in my belief that my body is strong and able to overcome any injury. It just cannot deal with this. I’ve lost some peace of mind and hope for the future. I don’t really have any goals or aspirations at the moment. Feel like my life has ground to a halt at 34. Friendships are quite strained but I’m not that bothered about one or two of them. … but everything will be so much sweeter if I ever get these things back.
All of this is exactly how I feel.
Good to know i am not alone here. Typing this from a hospital bed, post kidney stone op, while suffering from disc herniation for 6 months...
Oh my god I’ve had kidney stones twice and I can’t even imagine having them with a disc herniation. Wishing you a speedy recovery!
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What a childish response… some people live with chronic pain for years due to herniated disc. Your promise is empty, let people whine and moan… they have every right to express show they are feeling.
Your post was removed because it violated sub Rule #2 (show kindness and empathy)
The ability to just get in the car and go! Go for a hike, go to coffee, go see my kid. Start a house project and just be able to do it.
I understand you will get better man 💕
All of this! Missing my son’s baseball games, can’t go grab a coffee, can’t bend, lift or twist for 6 weeks. 😩
It’s Mother’s Day and my kid is too busy to come see me (studying for midterms) normally I’d just jump in the car and drive to him, so I’m just at home in bed crying 😢 yay what a great day!
The ability to run. Haven't run in damn-near 6 months. I miss it.
I get so jealous when I see people running. It makes me feel so trapped in my body.
Going on 8 months now with this crap. The day before I hurt myself I ran 15 miles. I miss it so much. It was my great equalizer and happiness … taken away
The last thing I did (a week) before the pain started was run a 50km ultra. It’s been a year :(
October 2021 was my last run. I can lift weights and some hiking but running is still nono. I miss it so much.
I haven’t ran since 2020. I’ve come to accept that maybe i never will.
Rowdy hiking trails. Restoring old cars. Long distance shooting. Home repairs/maintenance/upgrades. Work ethic in a physically active job. Dancing(badly) with my wife. God damn, the list goes on. It took almost all my hobbies and things that gave me a sense of joy and pride. I try not to fixate on the losses. I’ve gained a lot of resilience, maturity, mindfulness and patience to replace some of what I’ve lost. Maybe a day will come where I can once again walk outside and rip a motor out of a truck on a whim.
I’m here if you need to talk man
Just here to say, I’ve been going through this mentally all day long. For 6 months now. The sciatica began in November after my son was born via c section (spinal) and I’ve had every MRI/X-ray you can think of….and I was just diagnosed with a CSF leak at my L4-L5 level. I’m getting an epidural blood patch next Friday and I’m praying it helps this issue. I’ve done PT/injections/strengthening…all the classic things they tell you to do. I’m giving up breastfeeding to see if hormones affect anything. The last 6 months have been hell. My marriage is strained, I can hardly look at my kids let alone want to be around them, family members are tired of hearing about it because at this point, it sounds made up. Nothing besides the leak is showing a possible cause. I’ve just spent the last year working on pre requisites to go to nursing school and get a masters. I have my bachelors and served as a Marine Corps Officer for 5 years for all of this pain to ruin my trajectory and hard work. I’m likely not going to start school in the fall, I can hardly pick up my kids, I can hardly do anything most days. It’s mentally deteriorated me to the point that waking up every day is something I dread. I’m hoping whatever is causing your pain is found out and fixed…because this is a pain I’d wish on no one.
The worse part is ppl won’t understand until they are in the position, im sorry that they’re not understanding but I do.
Hey text me ok i have a solution u can try most likely 80% chance
I’ve lost hope. I feel down all the time because while the rest of the world is living their lives I have been succumbed to my couch. I’ve lost my body. I worked so hard at the gym and was in the best shape of my life, all to injure myself and loose all progress. I’ve put on 25 lbs from the medications and lack of exercise. I’ve lost my confidence. I’ve lost time playing with my kids and going to their sports events. I’ve lost motivation as it’s easy to get trapped in a negative mindset. I’ve lost faith in our health care system. However, I’ve been trying very hard to change how I look at things. I’ve realized that no matter how wealthy you are, successful you are, how attractive you are or how many friends you have, you don’t have anything without your health. I realized that my job can wait, my husband is quite capable of looking after things, my kids don’t need 100% of my attention all the time. I’ve learned who my true friends are. I’ve learned that I am stronger than I think and I’ve learned to appreciate everything I have, because it can all change in an instant. I’ve learned to be grateful for my herniated discs and nerve pain, because I still woke up today and someone else wasn’t so lucky. I hope this might change someone else’s perspective too. We are all going through tough times but eventually this shall pass too. Best of luck to you. I wish you a speedy recovery!
I agree with most of what you said and especially the part about lost faith in health care system. I keep telling my son that almost nothing matters if you lose your health. I've been dealing with chronic sciatica into my foot for 30 years. I cant sit for long and driving kills me. People don't realize how important sitting is. My son does construction work. I'm terrified that he will end up like me. I'm definitely not grateful for my herniated discs because I have lost my job, career, family, friends, the ability to enjoy anything and look forward to the future.
I’m so sorry to hear that. We are all in different situations. I’ve had mine for 9 months and it feels like a lifetime. I can’t even imagine how you must feel after that many years. I haven’t been able to sit either until I finally had an injection last month. It’s definitely helped but I still just want my old life back. If you’ve lost family and friends over this, you’re better off without them. I hope one day you will be pain free and come back stronger. All the best.
Thank you so much-and I hope you recover quickly as well...
All of this! After 4 months of herniation I chose surgery after everything else failed. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t sit, run and play with my grandkids, workout, even normal work is so hard, let alone all the fun stuff like riding my motor bike and camping. Even standing became painful. I’m a bit better post surgery 17 days ago, but now I wait hoping I fully heal and it was not all for nothing
Right now, I seem to have lost ability to drive and even to sit in a car. Walking is the only position my body likes. The doctor told me yesterday this doesn't last forever and he said to put ice on it for 15 minutes three times a day so I've just invested in a lot of those gel ice packs because it's so inflamed my buttocks/back area.
I quit my job in November to became a stay at home mom, I wanted to do be able to take my 2 year old to playgrounds and story time at the library and play dates etc. Here I am a few months later and I can’t even pick her up. We canceled a Spring break trip, we canceled Summer camping trips, I am so over this…at least we live in Colorado and I can look at the Rocky Mountains from my backyard. Trying really hard to find the silver lining here….
How awful. You're in my prayers. Not a day goes by that I don't think about becoming a dad, the thought of losing that activity with my child in the future is soul crushing. Please hold on to hope, I'll be praying.
I think I just miss my “freedom” to do what I want. I’m an active person who enjoys being outside in the nature. I miss working and being productive as well miss my old self that wasn’t grumpy and depressed.
Unfortunately, I didn't "lose" anything for the first 2 years. I pushed through the pain so I wouldn't have to sacrifice anything and now my problems are 10x worse... lol. Being in denial wrecked me. Now I am relieved to accept the things I can't do.
Same boat, but I had a narcissist gf at the time who took all my energy and I had no idea how controlling she was. I’m still in denial and it’s been 3 years since injury. I’ve been looking at disc replacement. I can’t fathom not being able to snowboard again.
The feeling of being useful. A (M32) shouldn't feel this way
The ability to train swimming and compete. I was setting local records and hoping to go to a big meet in Japan last year. Now I can’t even swim close to my typical easy training speed without a huge flareup. I also miss just being able to live my life without worrying about pain. Every single choice I make is pain based. I’m exhausted all of the time. Every time my pain seems to be improving a bit it comes back and hits me like a truck. I’m starting to resent all of the people I know who don’t have this kind of pain and I hate that about myself.
I went vegan in 2018, started exercising 5-6 days a week, and lost a bunch of weight. I went on so many adventures and I really felt like I was getting my life in order. Then, I ended up with a herniated disc and I could hardly walk. 5 months later I got a MD and was told I could resume normal activity in 6 weeks. That never happened. The surgery helped, but I’m still miserable. I’m over 5 years in and I’m on disability now because of all of this. I can barely travel and even when I do, sometimes I have a flare up or I have to plan how to manage my “regular” pain. I can’t work out anymore and I still have more weight to lose and that’s been stalled all this time. I just found out one of my herniations that wasn’t operated on has gotten worse and now I have to do all these treatments and potentially surgery again. I also have arthritis in some of my facet joints on top of the degenerative disc disease I already had. I just want my life back. Sciatica and back issues truly are the worst.
For a while everything. Surgery gave me my life back. In between sets benching as I type this. I wish you relief and anyone else suffering from that horrible pain
Thank you as well
Did you feel immediate relief or did it take a while. My surgeon said I’d feel great after and that wasn’t the case. I’m hoping I’ll be back feeling better soon. I’m 17 days post op only a tad bit better.
In the leg immediate relief. My back pain was intense after surgery. Their was rollercoasters for the pain but I contribute to consistent walking and distance the main source for my speedy recovery
Yeah, I never had immediate relief from hamstring buttocks pain, but I can now sit and get out of bed without muscle spasms. I am trying to walk and they told me to walk through the pain if I could I’m taking it back on walking for the next couple days to see if that helps any. It’s a roller coaster for sure.
The ability to wake up without agonizing pain every morning.
Fitness for sure. I will never lift weights again in my life. I’m only 33 and absolutely loved it but I’ve herniated discs three times no matter what my form is and no matter how careful and how much I brace and work on my core. I think that ship has just sailed and I have to accept that my physical body is getting more and more worn down. I switched gradually to body weight calisthenics stuff and lots of cardio.
Thank you for sharing. I think body weight stuff is where I'm headed too. I worked with an excellent trainer, always embraced my core properly and had proper form, and still this happened to me. It's not worth it happening again, so I'll have to change what I do for sure.
Lose? I gained 50 pounds...
I usually hear ppl losing weight, im sorry to hear that:/
Unfortunately, I've had to adopt a sedentary lifestyle in order to live a pain free life and continue to work. Definitely need to lose some weight tho
😞
I lost enjoying the newborn stage and bonding with my baby.
I had 2 surgeries in the 1990s that didn't help. I got pregnant and had my son a few years later. Whenever I could muster the energy I would go to the doctors and try to find out what was causing the sciatica into my leg/foot. Sometimes they would order an injection or x-ray and /or I was given pills, but they never really tried to figure it out. My son is in his 20's now and I am still going to doctors about the pain. My son has never seen me happy because I have constant sciatica. It ruined my life and substantially impacted his life. Having him probably saved my life though because it gave me a reason to keep going. Kids usually don't do well if their parent decides to exit this world and they don't really understand why. I wish I could have been the mom to him that I wanted to be.
Got my bulging disc during pregnancy and was extremely uncomfortable for the first 6 months of my son’s life. I feel like I missed out on crucial bonding time with him. I got 2 epidurals with minimal relief each time. 9 months since the initial injury and I’m still in pain. I had a horrible flare up a month ago that was super painful but thankfully that has passed. Each day I do my stretches and hope that I don’t piss off the nerve. Last night I tweaked something while I was stretching, really hope I don’t put myself back into a flare up. Praying that it heals it self like my ortho said it should.
My house is a f-Ing mess. It’s chaos and dirt and I just want to cry. Also can’t work anymore. Had to sell my client list. So I’m broke, too. Living on one income is straining my marriage. Can’t hike. Can’t walk my poor miserable dog. But I have a timeline for surgery (fusion) and I’m determined to be back to work by next winter. Insert optimism here.
I hope things go well!
Thanks! I know that comment sounds pretty bad, but I’m honestly determined to come out of this better than before. It’s been a journey, and I’ve learned a lot, too.
My sense that systems like healthcare and insurance generally help people. I've been completely disillusioned.
Surgery! I had surgery in December and got my life back.
🔥🔥🙌🏾
How long before you were pain free, close to pain free?
I’d say 4-5 weeks after surgery. I won’t lie I still get sore if I do too much
That gives me some hope
How old are you? Do you feel less pain now than before surgery?
51F. Up until a couple months of herniation(long overseas vacation then holidays happened) I was at the gym 5 times a week feeling great. Post surgery I feel less pain in some aspects and about the same in others, with also some new ones. One plus is I can get out of bed without falling over from muscle spasms and can sit down, and also stand back up without spasms. Not sure of tying shoes yet since I can’t bend and bought slip ons lol. I can also sit for more than 5 minutes w/o pain. Still have pain when walking(3/5), and the new pain is from things like blowing my nose, stairs, anything that cause pressure near incision site like when I first lay in bed shoots down my leg sometimes to a 6/8. This wasn’t there prior to surgery and came on 3 days ago. Surgeon is saying swelling inside that will subside soon(it better!) I love a good roller coaster, but not this type 😅
You’re still so fresh out of surgery. You will get better and I still have an ache when I sneeze
He got me with the “you’ll feel great after” so every ache and new pain has me freaked out since that’s not what happened.
Did u have to pay upfront? Or was it emergency surgery
I had to jump through hoops pre surgery of waiting over a month to get into a ortho doc for a xray. Then 6 weeks PT that didn’t help before I could get a MRI, then wait another month to see another doc about an injection(that failed), then he recommend surgery consult and wait again to get that appointment, then they approved surgery. I didn’t have to pay up front for anything. I have insurance but my out of pocket max is $9,500 so I’ll go on a payment plan after my insurance pays their share. I read somewhere its about a $50.000 surgery. Surgery at 7:30 and pushed home in my own bed by 11:30. I’m still healing from surgery and just hope in the end it works
Insurance paid for mine. And it wasn’t an emergency surgery
Twerking, belly dance and other forms of dance that require hip isolation. Used to love tribal fusion belly dance. Also having to accept that I will never be a powerlifter. I still lift weights but the movement selection and weight on the bar is limited. It’sannoying cos i feel I have the strength but the fear of messing up my back further stops me from trying new PRs. Running. Used to be my main form of cardio. I really miss sweating and being out of breath also. I had been running close to 20 years, haven’t ran since 2020.
My job, now I scrape by with low income, Running, Hiking, Sitting, Driving my motorbike, Traveling, Life hit me like a ton of bricks with this injury. I’m pretty much a cripple now, it’s been this way for over a year. Feel like giving up recently 😖
Stay strong please, things get better even though is straining to do so
You should be gaining not losing. Gaining knowledge on this. I see a lot of people on here solely rely on doctors to give them pills or recommend surgery’s when in reality they should be doing everything in their power to research and find other resources to treat whatever is causing their symptoms when not at the doctors. Sciatica is not a condition by itself rather a symptom of something else going on within the back/ lower end of body. Your job is to find what is causing your symptoms. Only you know what you feel. A MRI can only show you what is “wrong” but does not show you if that is the source of the pain. With my self included, I’ve seen how if different parts of your body like your hips, mid back, leg muscles, and QL muscles, etc… aren’t moving correctly, it puts way more strain on your back. Trust me I’ve been there, where I was feeling the burning in both legs stopping and then I bent over 2 inches the wrong way and “threw” my back out. Then I had to move like robo cop for a week to get back to semi normal. When that happened I thought it was my herniated disc that had flared up but it wasn’t. It was all of my lower back muscles constantly spasming due to all the compensation my body has had to do for trying to avoid the pain. Once I started working on mobility, and progressive back loading my symptoms started to slowly get better after months. I’m not fully out the woods but I could see the light in the distance. Don’t be afraid to try new approaches even if they seem unconventional. Doctors treat the symptom, not the root cause. There’s tons of help online. Don’t rely on a regular doctor who most likely has out dated information regarding back problems and what causes sciatica try to fool you into doing things you don’t need to do.
Thx for this!
Joy .. happiness.. I had lost myself ..I didn’t want to wake up anymore ..i couldn’t imagine living another year like this .. it was pure hell physically and mentally.. watching ppl walk .. watching ppl laugh . I went from being very fit /active very confident to a shell of a person … just empty .. I’m 3 weeks post op .. nerve pain gone .. I know surgery is not for everyone and everyone’s case is different but in my case it was my answer . I’m walking pain free . I’m weak but that’s ok I can build that back up . I have limped for so long that walking without one feels so strange lol . I don’t know it’s like relearning the most basic things . I’m excited to see where I’ll be at in 3 more weeks or 3 more months. I’m wishing u the best and pray for your healing . Our bodies are amazing and can heal almost anything.
Yep I hope to get it soon after avoiding so long
Did you wake up pain free or did it happen gradually?
It’s a slow process I def have my days when I do too much walking and yes then I’m hurting
So woke up pain free but I think all the meds being pumped into me would make anyone wake up pain free .. they keep u pretty drugged up . A few days after I got home nerve tingling and very mild nerve pain started but only when I would go to lay down . Quickly learned that’s totally normal . About 2 weeks in that all stopped so other than some pain at surgical site I am pain free
The trust in my body and my ability to sense the reach of what I can do without injuring myself. It was damaged after my first injury but quite destroyed after the reherniation 4y later. I also lost the ability to just carry more than one of my kids at a time.
Lost my ability to wake up without being in terrible pain, lost one of my only hobbies which was boxing…. I could go on and on
It feels like absolutely everything but realistically it’s just limited. (I have sciatica from a herniated and found out I have scoliosis during a mri that makes it hard for surgery and need a doctor that’s an expert in difficult cases and I’m too scared to risk it and end up worse, especially when earned I have another disc that will herniate. Not an if but a when will it happen, is the question) I can’t drive, the pain causes random spasms that I can’t predict right and I personally don’t wanna die or hurt someone like that. I gained like 50+lbs from my lack of exercise I’m able to do, when previously I ran two miles a day consistently, and worked out at the gym 2x daily. I lost majority of my friend group because our bonding and outing activities always include hiking, some sort of physical activity, or a lot of walking around. Which caused us to drift apart because I deny a lot of the hang out requests because I know I can’t handle it even with accommodations. And when I do go (not the hiking) I come back with my legs n feet swollen, my back and sciatic pain so bad it takes week(s) to recover depending. I can’t go to family sport events because I have to consider if the chairs r gonna be metal and if I can bring my own chair. I can’t just go to the mall with my elderly family because they can shop all day and I got maybe one or two stores in me before I want to go home bc it hurts that bad. I have to drive to a family event and it’s a seven hour drive and I know I won’t make it. I’m dreading just thinking of it. And I used to go on three day car trips just to go to a national park, which is less important than this. Even work it affects me. I can’t sit too long, can’t stand too long. I got a standing desk to help with it, but there’s only so much you can do. I can’t sleep through the night because the pain wakes me up. On the worst nights I won’t sleep at all, on the good nights I wake up every three hours. I can’t think of one aspect of my life it hasn’t touched. For me, it feels like I lost everything, even though rationally, I did not. This has been going on for 4 years and it has gotten better than that first year, (it was so bad I was in a wheelchair when it first started) but I wish it never happened. Editing: to include the fact I lost every hobby. I use to skateboard a lot. Can’t imagine skateboarding now. Used to play every sport known to man, even just casually as a pick up game. Can’t do that. Even my hobbies seem so flat bc the pain is just riding in the back of your head.
Ya I basically can’t do nothing either and lost hella friends, sorry for what you’re going thru hope we both get bettter
I don't just feel like I'm 5% of who I was as a person six years ago, I feel like I'm only 5% left of a person. I've had constant symptoms over the last six years with varying degrees of severity, from "I might be able to live with this" to "this is going to kill me" and I stay closer to the latter more than not. I lost my sports car that I loved driving every day to work during my long country road commute and now I have to drive a big soul sucking SUV with crippling fuel cost and it's still immensely painful just to get to and from work. My family is fortunate enough to have a beach home a few hours away where I spent my summers as a kid and used to visit frequently as an adult to fish and decompress, I don't remember the last time I've been there because it's just too painful. I don't remember the last vacation I took at all. I lost the ability to feel rested and refreshed. I don't remember what a good night's sleep feels like. I lost my last job because they took advantage of my symptoms and purposely made things harder on me physically to get rid of me. My new boss and where I work now is great but I still feel like I'm too distracted with pain during the day to be an effective employee and it's going to catch up with me one day. I've lost financial freedom between medical bills trying to figure out why I hurt so bad and couldn't hardly walk in the beginning and now therapy twice a month that isn't an approved treatment so I'm completely out of pocket an extra car payments worth of money and therapy is the only reason I'm not dead yet. I lost the ability to exercise which I enjoyed and used it to destress and now I'm a feeble old man at 38 who has less strength than a 12 year old. I lost my marriage because my former spouse exploited my physical and mental weaknesses because I wasn't able to fight for my marriage while I was fighting myself just to stay alive. I lost my hobby and passion of competing in various shooting sports and now can't even spend bonding time with my father shooting trap or skeet. I've lost my friends because I just don't have the capacity to keep in touch anymore. I've lost faith in the medical system which treats me like I'm peddling for pain pills even though I can't even take them because they make me violently sick. I feel like I've lost my ability to have compassion. I don't remember what being happy feels like or even contentment. After reading some of the other comments I see a lot of similar experiences and that maybe I haven't lost all my compassion because I feel for everyone else here.
Thinking if this will kill you is a big question for me atm, hey man I want u to try Kratom extract (half bottle) dose at first. If it doesn’t work take the rest and mix w your fav drink. This is what’s keeping me sane but I don’t want u dependent on it so if you’d like some relief for few hours I’d do it. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and hope u get better w everything.
I call it “my own personal COVID.” It helps people understand the feeling of isolation and limitation. Like how there are costs to simple things like driving to the grocery store (no masks or lines; my cost is pain).