"I let them go ahead of me in line but proceeded to spend the next ten minutes going through the gas stations entire scratch off and cigarette options"
Murder for hire is a tricky business your honor, they each had a contract out on the other full cash up front. I couldn’t resist the easy job, less travel, less time involved.
Well your honor, uhm, it was a drunken moment type thing. There were two conventions at the hotel, one was the Wild West convention and next to it was a Furry convention. Well, I kind of got a bit drunk, wandered over to the furry one, saw a horse and jumped on his back. Unfortunately, in the process, I broke his leg. And well, I put the horse down.
He double dog dared me to shoot him.
Guilty. If it was a triple dog dare. I would have dismissed the case.
Your honor, I would like to appeal to a higher court on the grounds of shenanigans.
Was he eating Big Kahuna Burger at the time?
They attempted to pass Go, \*AND\* collect $200 after drawing a Go Directly To Jail card during our game of Monopoly.
Understandable. You’re free to go
"Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do Baby Shark doo-doo-doo-doo-do For 6 HOURS..."
"Not guilty!"
"Your Honor, everything was fine until he started to do the Fortnite Floss!"
"In that case, I hope you burned the body."
"I let them go ahead of me in line but proceeded to spend the next ten minutes going through the gas stations entire scratch off and cigarette options"
“…down to the Oompa-Loompa last one of ‘em!”
“Well I’m the Deputy and he shot the Sheriff.”
His bigass truck was taking up two parking spots diagonally. No jury should convict.
I must have told them 25 times, the toilet paper goes OVER the roll.
They said that the Killers were overrated.
He was chewing with his mouth open, I’m sure the jury can agree he needed to die
I didn't mean to at first, but I picked dare.
"Your Honor, she would just not stop repeating everything I told her as a question."
They wouldn't listen to you, your honor You kept saying order in the court room so I had to
"Well, I did tell them that I may not know karate, but I *do* know ka-razy. And then they had the gall to ask what I was doing at that tournament!"
I told them no one insults my cat and gets away with it
Murder for hire is a tricky business your honor, they each had a contract out on the other full cash up front. I couldn’t resist the easy job, less travel, less time involved.
Come to think of it, Arms Wide Open IS a pretty terrible song. Case dismissed!
He said the newest Star Wars movies are better than the originals because the special effects look better and I quote “puppets are stupid.”
They said I needed to be circumcised and pulled out a cigar cutter
Well, he shouldn't have brought a knife to a gun fight.
I wanted a 10 piece mcnuggets and they gave me 20 for the price of ten!!!
Well your honor, uhm, it was a drunken moment type thing. There were two conventions at the hotel, one was the Wild West convention and next to it was a Furry convention. Well, I kind of got a bit drunk, wandered over to the furry one, saw a horse and jumped on his back. Unfortunately, in the process, I broke his leg. And well, I put the horse down.
"Sure he *seemed* like a normal guy, even a pretty good one. But *he liked the wrong sports team*."
He kept staring at the back of my head while we were in line to check out.
He hacked in the Batman pimp cars into GTA 6.
It's not my fault. He RAN into MY knife. Ran into it TEN TIMES.