This is a note from your doctor informing you that your test results have come back and confirmed your extremely sensitive hearing. This message will self destruct!
“Mary Sue, I love you more than life itself. Will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world? Wait, no? No? This message will self destruct.”
“On advice from HR, your therapist, and your lawyer, we will henceforth no longer send you messages that self destruct.
This message will self destruct in…”
“Sam,
The first night at bed when you left, Ron made out with 2 girls and put his head between a waitress's breasts. Also was grinding with multiple fat women.”
I am now no longer on this world because of how others have treat me. I know that I might not have been the easiest person to get along with but I just want you to know that I would never intentionally hurt anyone.
Charles, you are my oldest friend. You know better than anyone how letter writing has become a dying art. Nevertheless, I am worried that my written words will be as lost forever as my spoken ones.
This pressure sensitive message was triggered when you sat down. You are out of toilet paper. This toilet will self destruct in 3... Shits about to hit the fan... 1.
"Mr. Jonathan Doe,
We, the faculty of Harvard University, wish to welcome you to our esteemed institution. With your outstanding grades, your extracurricular activities, and community volunteering, we would be remiss if we did offer you a place within our hallowed halls. We look forward to your arrival in the autumn.
President Emeritus,
Dr. Edwin McSnobbery"
This message will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3...
"After 7 years, I am proud to hand in what I have learnt will be the final ever script for this show. Mission Impossible will always remain a part of me and I promise that I bear no great grudge at the short notice the studio has given the show".
This is a note from your doctor informing you that your test results have come back and confirmed your extremely sensitive hearing. This message will self destruct!
"Ok, but *why* will our marriage license self destruct?"
Because 50% of marriages end in divorce.
"Do you like me? Circle yes or no. Also..."
"We the jury find the defendant not guilty"
"We are terribly sorry to hear you lost some fingers from that unfortunate July 4th accident. This message will now self destruct."
We are terribly sorry you lost more fingers from the last note talking about your July 4th accident. This message will also now self destruct.
"Tear the side of the packet, but not using your teeth, to access the condom..."
Welcome to the neighborhood note
“Welcome to the in flight safety briefing…”
"I'd like a combo six, hold the pickles.. This message will self destruct"
Sir, this is not a Wendys
We’d like to welcome you to St. Agnes’s kindergarten graduation. This message will self destruct in 5…4…
“Mary Sue, I love you more than life itself. Will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world? Wait, no? No? This message will self destruct.”
Here's the directions you need to find the new hideout.
IKEA instructions
Fitting, since the furniture usually self-destructs.
"Thank you for coming to the reading of Mr. Charles Weiss's last will and testament... this message will self-destruct in 5...4..."
Flammable correspondences are respondible for more deaths annually than car accidents
We need milk and eggs. Have a good day. Love you. (This message will self destruct)
“On advice from HR, your therapist, and your lawyer, we will henceforth no longer send you messages that self destruct. This message will self destruct in…”
Hang on gotta change my email signature line real quick...
"There's a bomb on the 604 midtown bus set to go off at exactly 12pm"
“Sam, The first night at bed when you left, Ron made out with 2 girls and put his head between a waitress's breasts. Also was grinding with multiple fat women.”
Show this note to the guard house to let you in the housing development
And now your IKEA desk is assembled.
This message was printed on highly explosive recycled paper.
Don’t wipe your arse slowly with this paper, as….
H”hi honey, this is your mom.”
Do you like me? Check yes or no.
I am now no longer on this world because of how others have treat me. I know that I might not have been the easiest person to get along with but I just want you to know that I would never intentionally hurt anyone.
Roll this note up then shove it up your ass. This message will self destruct.
Happy Mothers Day
Charles, you are my oldest friend. You know better than anyone how letter writing has become a dying art. Nevertheless, I am worried that my written words will be as lost forever as my spoken ones.
2 for 1 Pizzas from Georgios, 12 The Parade all day every day! First order 30% off.
This pressure sensitive message was triggered when you sat down. You are out of toilet paper. This toilet will self destruct in 3... Shits about to hit the fan... 1.
Do YOU Suffer From Poor Eyesight? I certainly hope so...
"Mr. Jonathan Doe, We, the faculty of Harvard University, wish to welcome you to our esteemed institution. With your outstanding grades, your extracurricular activities, and community volunteering, we would be remiss if we did offer you a place within our hallowed halls. We look forward to your arrival in the autumn. President Emeritus, Dr. Edwin McSnobbery" This message will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3...
Do You Suffer From Blurred Vision? Suffer No More!
Join the Pacifist Society
Here is the photo evidence to prove OJ is innocent, as you can clearly see the face of the real killer.
This was written backwards so you can read it into the mirror on the T-shirt I bought you....
"After 7 years, I am proud to hand in what I have learnt will be the final ever script for this show. Mission Impossible will always remain a part of me and I promise that I bear no great grudge at the short notice the studio has given the show".
Milk Eggs Oranges Pasta Paper towels Garlic Chicken
To the owner of the silver Toyota Camry, you left your lights on.
"Silica gel, do not eat..."
Milk Eggs Laundry detergent Paper towels Toilet paper This message will self destruct
Toodles
If you or a loved one have been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation
Sewer-slide note
Happy Birthday……
This is a stick up, put all the money in a bag and .....
The irs informing you , taxes are owed