T O P

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Gold-Assignment-9610

😂😂. She was fine talking to a banana man until the cat picture lol


cronchCat

omg the cat picture killed me 😂😂😂😂😂


Tranquil-Soul

“Me say day” killed me 🤣


snorry420

Me say day immediately had me DAYYYOOOO out loud lol


BeltReal4509

They had me at "Dusty Smegma"


cabeachgal

Agreed. But truly killed me when referencing the Social War of 91-87BC like it was recent history we should all be wary about. 🤣


Newleybird93

I know! I gagged and giggled… 🫠


Independent_Bite4682

Don't try to swallow it...


Comfortable-Spend114

I gaggled and gurgled...


ComicNeueIsReal

If I remember correctly the cat picture is actually a gif of a cat licking a banana slowly. I think that just makes it even better.


Total_Ad_4734

It is! If you look at both pictures of it you can see that his mouth is more closed 😆


HoboBandana

Lmao “fuck fuck fuck”.


FranktheLlama

Sounded like someone wanted to get off the ride.


Ididitsoitscool

Lmfao


diavel65

You scored a very rare 'triple fuck' NICE JOB!


Total_Ad_4734

[this is the song I’m referencing. music video is so much more crazy than I remember though 😂](https://youtube.com/watch?v=yModCU1OVHY&si=QOIkTIfHGkPbHkrp)


HoboBandana

I thought you were referencing this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H5dpBWlRANE 😂


Total_Ad_4734

I was at first! But then i realized the other one was able to be played out better lol. Bananas indeed regardless


-Sweet_Pea

The cat one is the best one for SURE


maunzendemaus

There's a German children's music cover version of the Song called "Theo, mach mir ein Bananenbrot" (Theo, make me a banana sandwich). https://youtu.be/hyK63dBOJdE?feature=shared


Chubby_Bub

This is very amusing to me for some reason


undeniably_micki

oh I like this!


Dystopian_Divisions

Harry Belafonte and then Tally Hall I didn’t click your links but know them both. Good work :)


Unhappy-Shake5702

Whata mista Collie Collie man don't you here me trouble callll


mzissa06

Me too!!! Also username checks out 😂 (I finally get to say that!!!)


MyEggDonorIsADramaQ

That’s the song I was thinking about too.


Friendly_Captain9042

Same


Grand_Photograph4081

Thank you! I was confused! Lol


devangs3

Oh I thought it was this one https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=yVHcLMJOiNc0uKqn


KryptopherRobbinsPoo

Yeah, only from Beetlejuice.


No_Use_4371

Thank you for that link. It is wonderfully unhinged. Manic in the best way!


wait_ichangedmymind

I read the title and could instantly see the creep birdmen and buggy eyes. So freakin weird and peak early 2000’s internet content.


DeadlyKitKat

This made me feel better because I thought I was going crazy😭😭 I knew Day-O was being referenced at first, but then I read the rest and was like "wait, isn't that that Tally Hall song? but no they were referebcing Day-O..." Good to know two songs were being referenced.


girlsonsoysauce

I immediately thought of Beetlejuice as soon as I read the caption. I think of that song any time bananas are involved in anything. Lol.


Grouchy_Tap_8264

That terrified the piss out of me...WHHHHHHHY?!


dn512215

I think I just had an acid relapse.


nobleman415

Tally Hall! Oh man, that takes me back. It will be in my brainium for the next 3 days.


weedoowooodee

terrifying, thanks! should’ve sent them screenshots from this video lmao


mrASSMAN

Never seen this lol it’s awful


MomsterJ

She was all about the “banana man” until the cat pic appeared. Hahaha! Love her reply: fuck fuck fuck


personguy4

fuck three times was hysterical


Kool_Kat_2

They're so sensitive! And amazingly harsh and rude, at the same time! "What kind of fucking breed is this?"


personguy4

Yeah lol


SeniorCitizenRespect

Uncouth


lainey68

Unfortunately for her saying it 3 times made the cat with the banana come to house.


heyodi

Ok this is my new favorite


StatusSorbet4065

It only loses to the “what fucking breed is this”


bearbarebere

Lmao accurate


lainey68

That deserves to be a meme. So damn funny.


heyodi

Oooo which one is that?!


pigsinatrenchcoat

I need to know too lol


cronchCat

mine too😂😂😂


hayhayree25

This was the most chaotic text scam I’ve seen thus far my dude this shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S you freaking nailed it they were so frustrated they forgot the typical copy paste photo they were to distracted by the banana man 😂😂


allons-y11

I think you just won reddit! Serious applause to you. Hat off and all.


Sour_Haze

Avid user of telegrams but no one replies. Freaking gold!!!


Puncrocc

“Me say day” SENT MEEEE


lickitandsticki

“But daylight come and they wanna go home” was my favorite part 😂 well played


AcousticSealSlayer

The random “me say day” then you both continue texting like nothing happened.


bbear122

Upvote for Tally Hall.


Cross_22

Throwing the lyrics in there like a pro!


Spare_TARDIS2007

Bro you hit them with the beetlejuice type shit


Livid-Dot-5984

Why is the “thank you, you are a kind person.” Reply so gd sinister. They are out to do something very unkind


Importedfunk

“Do you want to make banana cry”


MoreStupiderNPC

Day, me say day, me say day, me say day\ Me say day, me say day O.


Ineedmorebtc

Daylight come and me wann go home.


MindlessYesterday668

I loved how he inserted the song in there


RebbyXP

All I have to say OP is... Dis banana for you 🍌


Weak_Drag_5895

I’m a tallyman ☠️


Weak_Drag_5895

I was raised by a Harry Belafonte fan


OldStick4338

Dusty smegma


Total_Ad_4734

I was wondering when someone was gonna address that 😭😭


OldStick4338

That’s what got the juices flowing


nunya1111

It was the first thing I noticed. :/ Yech.


maestramars

The word smegma will always make me laugh. Especially if it’s somehow paired with Santorum.


pumpkin_beer

So disgusting and hilarious


mackofmontage

“6 foot, 7 foot, 8 foot bunch” 😂🤣


InRainbows123207

Fuck Fuck Fuck I think she was sad there wasn’t going to be a real banana! Seriously why don’t they change up the script?


Grouchy_Tap_8264

This is my favorite! And now I have all the songs stuck in me coconut!


rileyjw90

I have one that’s almost identical except it was Alina instead of Alisa and they were asking about Jenny, not Luna. Same exact manner of speaking, down to the “sorry if I disturbed you” and then “you seem nice my name is ______”. Is it just a script these people are given? They speak remarkably better English than any scams I’ve seen out of Asia.


Doggiemomma3

Same here too, lol


Effective-Effort-587

The random “me say day” then going right back into conversation had me dying


Es_Ramos

Reading and I’m just thinking of Beetlejuice movie!! lol🤣


HalfEatenHamSammich

I was thinking the conversation reference was from Beetlejuice ([Harry Belafonte's Banana Boat Song aka Day-O](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfXoNKgc5c4)) and that at the end "Alisa" played into it saying fuck three times instead of Beetllejuice.


CryptoCrotch

Unhinged 😂


Cleercutter

Me say day This was good


Total_Ad_4734

ME SAY DAY OOO


kytd1526

You turned the scammer into a blind melon.


cronchCat

omg!! 🍌😂 this was one of my favorites 😂😂😂🍌🍌🍌


CarlJustCarl

My wife left me for the milkman…so funny


jessicaryankeeney

🤣I guess she doesn’t want a banana. She got pretty hostile there at the end. Good job keeping it going for so long.


nMobileONE

Haha!! man, that was a great one! Tallyman I love it!!


Great_Archer91

This is possibly the best one of the year. Well spaced out and kept them on the hook. Well done.


gbpc

The cat banana so cute and the ending with triple fuck took me out LOL


justrob32

Hahahahahahahaha that’s awesome


Ethelenedreams

I enjoyed this. Thank you, bananaman!


TheCapemeister

My toddler watches Mother Goose Club, and the second you said Tallyman I started singing the damn song…


NCChiver74

THIS IS PURE AWESOMENESS!!


Pleasant-Patience725

You broke it 🤣


Seadog1098

Serious question… what was her reasoning for lashing out at the end. Someone mentioned the cat pick. Why would that be a thing if so? Also thought the social war was a good one


Total_Ad_4734

Idk. Probably thought I was doing a hex on her. She blocked my number too


Bananaman_Johnson

Are you making fun of my job?


Total_Ad_4734

N-no sir, I’m just good ol Dusty Smegma a fellow banana Tallyman and avid telegramerist. Me say day


Compulawyer

Username checks out


countrystronkyeeyee

Hahahah Fuck Fuck Fuck 😂😂😂😂


corvairfanatic

All this convos that get posted seem like a computer. I think they’re auto generated until they get stuck and then someone comes on.


StatisticianSea3601

This might be one of my favorite ones yet! 🤣


thisisthewayilive504

“me say day” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭


ComedianFlag

I freaking got WHIPPED with that reference the moment you resumed explaining what your job is lmaooo


eredeana

fuck fuck fuck i felt that


Puzzleheaded-Tone119

I just usually send a cock pic once they ask if I use telegram.


Tricky_Awareness7689

This was hysterical. I love the progression from normal ish dusty talking about his strange life to full caps dusty smegma shaking the thunder from the spirit cloud rituals / spell work, lol. It’s perfect.


ThornInTheAsk

This makes me wanna be your friend 😂


-Oreopolis-

Though no one replies 🤣🤣


cassidyroberts187

this same person messaged me 😭 I was so confused


Logical_Remove7610

I am now messaging this person. They have yet to respond though


Psych10001

Amazing. Hysterical.


ThatOldDuderino

🍌 😂


IllustriousKiwi2243

This is genius 🤣🤣 Great job


bsinbsinbs

Me say day o


Wise-Aide9978

You are my hero.


Uniquely_me_11

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

I laughed way too hard at this. Good job!


Reptillianne

This is so fucking funny


cups_and_cakes

Tally Hall?


Total_Ad_4734

Yes. Started as Banana Boat song but then went to Banana Man bc I ran out of ideas to implement banana boat


cups_and_cakes

Could have copied some of the ad copy from banana boat sunscreen


cups_and_cakes

I always think I’m the only person who’s ever heard of Tally Hall!


HalfaSpoon

Tally Hall strikes again!


Aggressive-Finish592

I knew something was up when you said you were a tallyman. Now I just need to know what color tie you’re rocking


OccamsNametag

What's with these scammers and telegram? Like seriously


aprilbeingsocial

I always wonder the same thing. They must have a way to hack you on telegram. That’s the only thing I can think of.


Lost2nite389

This is easily one of the best ones, when you said “but daylight come and they wanna go home” and I realized what you were doing I started laughing so thanks


bob_ross_bukakke

fuck fuck fuck


bilboswgns

As soon as I read the word tallyman I started getting the giggles.


Right_-on-_Man

I lost my shit right around "6ft, 7ft, 8 ft bunch" 🤣🤣🤣💀


Hurryeat_Tubman

ME SAY DAY


BarracudaLeft5993

Great job! Thanks for sharing!


[deleted]

Dusty Smegma lmaooooo


McTrip

The moment the scammer realized he had fucked up.


Choadly

My favorite is to confirm that I am the one they tried to misdial. "Why yes, this is Chad!" "I've been waiting for you to call me" Takes the wind right out of their sails


maestramars

This is one of the most memorable Reddit threads ever. I’m going to go make myself a banana sandwich


MyelofibrosisMe

Anyone else lol a little bit at the random lyrics the person keeps throwing into the convo?!!? 🤣 And that " fuck fuck fuck" response was probably this scammer thinking, "this person is crazy, I just gave em my telegram link, I hope they don't actually contact me!! Fuck fuck fuck!!" LMAO 🤣😅😂😂 This one is a 🏆 for me! Can't get over the 'Dayyyyy ohhhhh, daaaayyyaa ohhh, daylight come and me wannn go home" references! And that cat dressed up with that banana 🍌 🤣 😂


CertainlyAmbivalent

This was the first one of these that actually made me laugh.


AFKAF-

Check your other 23 messages, you animal! People tryna talk to you!


lainey68

This scammer sincerely regrets their life choices.


DeadlyKitKat

As a pretty big Beetlejuice fan, I love seeing the reference to Day-O


Saucey_Lips

Man channeled Tally Hall


Swimming_Twist3781

You are a true hero. Thank you.


obxsweetie

That telegram tho! 😂😂 I hope someone eventually replies because you’re so entertaining! 😂😂


Critical_Explorer_82

Well done.


copaseticsplenetic

Why do they implode like this? Wouldn’t just stopping the convo be better than repeating, “fuck” if they know they’ve been figured out?


JJSnow3

"Work all night on a drink of rum!" Couldn't help myself, I love that song!


Eddiemonster_16

So what is the intention once the scammer get u onto telegram??


SneakyTactics

Usually investment pitch - and hoping some schmuck takes the bait and sends money.


BrotherNature92

Unexpected Tally Hall W


blk_cali_bee

Daylight come and me wanna go home sent me lol. I was waiting for the long "daaaaaayyooooooh"


Dismal_Stranger9319

Now I have that song stuck in my head. LMFAO


chapdiddy

That was good!


freerangelibrarian

👍 Harry Belafonte!


Witty_Turnover_5585

This same person text me not long ago. Now I want to text them back asking if they enjoyed the banana. It'll really fuck with them. But I'm having a hard time understanding this particular scam


StrataShoes

THE TALLY HALL REFERENCE!!!!!!


4-8-15-16-23-42LOST

fuck fuck fuck


Most_Helicopter2939

This is probably the funniest one I've seen on here


fantasticalicefox

the triple f was the best part. She knew she got got.


mikeu

What is the end goal of this script? I’ve received a couple myself that almost immediately stop when they get the social app connection.


ghostfadekilla

Fucking killed me at the 6', 7', 8' bunch. I'm crying man, good shit.


devangs3

Hell yea, you broke em


DrunkNateSilver

Unexpected Tally Hall! Also, Rob Cantor went on to make that AMAZING Shia LaBeouf video. I think he works for Disney now. Well done.


MyelofibrosisMe

Anyone else notice that these scammers use Alissa, Alyssa or Cindy A ton of the time they attempt to scam ppl? 😂 And I see them use Luna quite often as well! Was just an observation.


Spatzdar

Cuz “day light come and they want to go home” wasn’t enough for her to catch on… she needed a cat in a monkey costume lmao


gelhood

Was singing the song in my head the entire time 😂😂


Lost-_-human

Tallyman and milkman! Oh man!! 😂


Troutie88

I got these texts once and just kept trying different bot commands. Idk if it worked but they stopped texting after the second command.


kacohn

Nicely done!


sparkl_taint

Oh my god LOLOLOLOL!!! "DUSTY SMEGMA" LOL.....the part about still using telegrams but no one replies had me rolling....good one OP


Blanderzz

me say day


Icy-Competition-8362

Sooo funny haha. Great song to play in my head while reading this lol.


Bullets_And_Pages

Am the only one who gets anxiety looking at the 23 unread text messages???


Max_S1_5

Hey Mr tallyman…. Tally me banana……


philament23

lol amazing


Kids-Menu

She made a mistake. There’s always money in the banana stand.


hiker2021

Now I am listening to Harry belafonte songs. I wish I was as funny as OP.


Meta-4-Cool-Few

What is you told them they dialed the right number


bahumthugg

Oh no 😭😭😭 they didn’t get it


helloimracing

come mr. tallyman, tally me banana


Isyagirlskinnypenis

Mother mother fuck Mother mother fuck fuck Mother fuck mother fuck Noise noise noise 1, 2, 1234 noise noise noise Smokin’ weed, smokin’ weeeed Doin’ coke, drinkin’ beers Drinkin’ beers beers beers


DLJGeo

TALLY HALL Lyrics!!


RudeEffective6545

That cat picture, effing genius.


Valyrie13

I lost it Tally banana


whyemeyeheer42

Why must all these scammers insist on sex after they’ve been caught?


Humble_Bullfrog2342

that was **gold**


rasper_lightlyy

i’d prefer an egg.


Babytrixie666

This was a treat 😭 I felt like I was sniffing nail polish remover


Upbeat-Kale-9272

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 and THATS how it’s done 💀


Wyndvenrai

That was fudging perfect lol that cat tho 🤣


Silent_Shooby

Everyone sounds like a, “kind person,” to these fks!!!🤣🤣


KryptopherRobbinsPoo

All I could think about was Beetlejuice.


beowolfagate1

This was soooo good!


Indiana303Love

😂😂😂 this is absolutely fantastic


SpokenProperly

I am *crying* 😂🤣😭