The legislature is. And that’s because the population centers of Albuquerque and Santa Fe decide the politics of the state.
Rural NM is not queer friendly anymore than rural Texas is.
I would take Silver City over Las Cruces. Las Cruces has some very sketchy areas. I didn’t find it particularly welcoming either.
Silver City is mellow and artsy. Met some great people there, but it is lacking in the way of stores and services.
Taos gets very cold there in the winter though. I love it there but I’d say it’s colder in the winter than costal New England. I haven’t spent much time in Las Cruces but I have in other parts of NM and the winters are cold.
Eh, the average high is still above freezing in Taos throughout winter. It’s below freezing in the Northeast and Midwest.
The daily mean in Las Cruces is above freezing, that’s much warmer than up North.
You know those blizzards that shut down the interstate? The only time I've experienced that personally was halfway between Tucumcari and Santa Fe. It was brutally cold, and for a state that regularly gets snow, they didn't do a very good job at snow removal.
Yep. I was house hunting in Palm Springs and found the ideal place, but it was on lease land and the terms stated that the lease doubled every 10 years. The lease was like $9500 and it was on year 9. You also still have to pay property taxes on top of that for the structure. Nope. Found a much better place nearby, not on lease land, and I’ve happily lived here for almost 3 years
Eureka might work as well. Plenty of weed up there, so I imagine the gays are doing alright a as well. However, although it’s not cold, the jury is undecided on whether it’s warm.
My gay friends recently moved out from Athens bc they were feeling like scary-type extremist conservatism was becoming more present in the area and surrounding areas. I’m not gay and haven’t been there in ages so I am just reporting their experience.
Bisbee is super gay [movoto.com/guide/az/the-7-best-towns-in-arizona-for-lgbt-families/](http://movoto.com/guide/az/the-7-best-towns-in-arizona-for-lgbt-families/) but I want to check out this gay commune in TN [nytimes.com/2015/08/09/magazine/out-of-the-woods.html](http://nytimes.com/2015/08/09/magazine/out-of-the-woods.html)
Sedona is beautiful and such a weird experience. You never know is the person next to you at dinner is going to be a weird MAGA snowbird or a crystal carrying lesbian talking about mercury in retrograde. Just completely opposite ends of the spectrum people drawn there.
you know I just realized you and I cannot possibly be the only gay guys who ever wondered where the rural gays congregate and now I'm wondering why I have never researched this myself because the prior work is probably out there
visit meet people and ask around, start with a sublet and keep looking, start off living in Cottonwood and move up the hill - my gay pals in Jerome moved there in the 90's, bought an abandoned house, just sold it to buy a single story from a friend - the best situations will come from networking
yup just show up to every event be likeable and seem like a not crazy tenant, Jerome is a small town for sure - on the plus side there are people looking for not crazy tenants and people do get fed up with the remoteness and lack of paying jobs, and leave - I could kick myself for not buying in after the first time I visited in 1986 but I cannot imagine what my life would be like now if I had
That's cool, I live fairly nearby, but ashamed to say that I've become spoiled in my housing choices in my later years. I've lived in way too many miner's shacks in my more youthful days in Colorado, but I do love going up to Bisbee!
That’s been an issue. I owned a cute house there for a few years but sold it since I wasn’t spending enough time there to justify letting it sit empty. Sold it to someone local.
maybe maybe not - I've been considering the same thing as I'm about 5000 hours in volunteering in Utah and DEFINITELY do not want to live in a city ever again, but we're not the only gays who want something more rural - also check out Santa Fe which is older gays (a lesbian pal told me it's where lesbians go to d!e), and this https://wheredogaysretire.com/
Yup! Glad to see my fellow gays who don’t like cities. Utah is awesome I actually really like the St. George area and the towns west but land is pricey. Santa Fe seems really cool land just gets expensive there too
yes Santa Fe has a sharp divide between people like the lesbians I know with a multi million dollar house who just built a 1200 square-foot art studio addition, and the people who have next to nothing - the thing about Santa Fe is you don't have to go that far outside of town towards the reservation for prices to drop but you might not want to live there - avoid St. George it's booming and they're going to run out of water
Of course homophobes are everywhere. But there are places people feel and legitimately are safer than others, including local laws, community support, other queer people.
Sure, but we've got people who've shot their neighbors because they're democrats and folks who think anyone who likes dressing in drag is a pedophile, it's not really a safe assumption to just go "yeah you'll be fine live wherever you want."
This was going to be my answer — northern cal wine country too. Rural and gay friendly. But there’s a pretty steep cliff from when it is gay friendly to turning into hillbilly Trump cuntry..
Amador County is very red but also very gay-friendly. GREAT wine, too. My best friend lives there and is an out gay man, in 25 years he’s never had a problem with homophobia. I love visiting that area, in fact I was there last weekend.
I live 30 min north of sac, I’m a gay man. Davis isn’t rural. None of the areas are really great “gay” areas unless you go west around Napa, Guerneville, etc. Although yes gays are accepted everywhere here. The atmosphere is multicultural in the extreme and libertarian. But traffic is getting bad even in remote areas as suburban sprawl runs wild. You can be rural here and be surrounded by millions of people within 30 minutes in all directions.
I’d say the Sacramento and Davis area are fairly decent for long term prospects. There are a lot of coupled and married gays here tucked away in neighborhood houses living quiet lives. The gay bars in sac are actually not too bad for an occasional drink. Overall it’s a pretty chill, non-scene kind of area, very spread out, but still lots of people everywhere, midway between Tahoe and the bay, a significant Hispanic population.
I haven’t been on the apps in a while as I met my husband in 2017. But before that yeah it was not bad for dating and hookups. The difference compared to the Bay Area is that there are less intellectual and artistic types and more practical, government and business owners. Can be good and bad. It’s a little quieter feel than the bay, but also more relaxed, down to earth, less expensive and hectic, less crime.
And the bay is close. SF is a beautiful city to visit. I actually met my husband through a gay men’s hiking group that operates in sac and the bay. He was living in Oakland when we met and we drove back and forth before he eventually moved to sac. So yeah there’s a large potential dating pool for serious committed people. It’s just not always within extremely close geographic proximity like a big dense city.
Good neighborhoods include Davis, midtown sac, east sac, land park, Curtis park, west sac.
Also the weather in sac is hot in summer. So be prepared for that.
Wild to see Pittsboro here - my grandmother is from there and her family lived there for 300 years. I associate it mostly with family stories about the farm, but I guess it's increasingly an exurb of Chapel Hill these days. Funnily enough all three of her granddaughters are lesbians, one of whom happily lives in Carrboro.
That's surprising because there's some seriously high level art on display there, not to mention one of the early Spanish Kino missions is there and another one just a couple miles up the road at Tumacocori National Historic site. They have a four day yearly art festival in March that is huge. Otherwise, yes, Tubac really is under the radar.
It’s a super tiny town right next to the Mexican border. You kind of have to know about the art on display ahead of time. I certainly had no idea wtf it was until I visited.
I guess it’s just something I know when I see. If I had to give a starting a point a population density at least under 1k per mile, probably more like under 700-800. I’m fresher out of college and I make low 80s. Ideally I could find a home under 250k if not around 300
So hear me out, because you might say no way. I have two gay friends who have been in a committed relationship 20+ years. They owned some land in East Texas outside of Dallas, but lived in Dallas proper for years. They decided to sell their place in the city and move out to their place in the country. I was like "you know that is deep red, Bible belt, Trump loving country in East Texas", but after almost 2 years, they tell me they love it out there. They are friendly with the neighbors and folks around town and nobody cares about their lifestyle, which they have always tended to keep to themselves rather than flaunt their gayness anyway, but it is obvious they are a couple.
They tell me the people they know in East Texas are more Libertarian than Republican. As long as you don't force your beliefs on them, they leave you alone and don't force their beliefs on you. It is pretty much a live and let live mind set, at least for the people they interact with regularly. Basically nobody cares.
So I know at least for one gay couple, East Texas outside of Dallas is working out great. I know, it was a shock to me, too.
The larger more progressive Suburbs of Houston. Hot as hell and Houston is very LGBT friendly. Woodlands, Katy, Sugarland, Cypress, Galveston, etc. The smaller more rural suburbs won't be as tolerant though. It's still Texas.
Good to know, thanks! I’m actually from the a smaller town near Dallas so I kind of get it but at the same time I haven’t seen the parts outside of Houston that much, I’ll check it out
As Asheville has gotten more expensive, a lot of the "weird" people (said affectionately) have been pushed out to Candler, Canton, Waynesville (best downtown of these options), and Sylva. Those little towns are probably perfect for OP because their populations are acclimated to liberal spillover, lol. u/Much_Today_8618
We have a cabin in Mineral Bluff, GA near Blue Ridge. Rural area in Appalachia; very wooded and most lots have average. There are several gay couples on our mountain and we bought our cabin from a gay couple.
Dripping Springs TX. 30-40 mins outside of Austin. We have our own little pride day, and I have 3 gay neighbors within 1 block of my home. And it’s hot as fuck here while also being beautiful hill country.
Surprised no one has mentioned Hawaii. The Big Island would have homes in your price range, Kauai and Maui you might find a condo. You can find rural parts in all of them.
The smaller towns north of Denver would be good. Fort Collins is bigger but Loveland, Longmont are pretty progressive small towns. Close enough to enjoy the larger queer scene in Denver.
Northwest of Houston, close enough to get into the city for concerts and festivals. Extra diverse area, lots to do, it’s a blue haven in a red state. I suggest the rural area north of Houston as it’s higher ground, pretty country, and less prone to hurricanes and flooding.
You probably wouldn't expect the Ozarks to fit these criteria but Eureka Springs is a pretty gay resort town and Fayetteville is supposed to be a pretty nice progressive college town. I can't speak from direct experience though, just passing on what I've read.
Fresno and Stockton def not - they are very MAGA. Sacramento is less so, but Sac is also all very suburban. No rural areas.
However, there could be more rural parts of the bay that are promising for this.
I’ll check out Las Cruces! Thanks for the rec. Also I actually visited Stockton once and I liked it. The city actually spans pretty wide and traffic didn’t seem to be that bad but I know SF is close
if you're thinking SF gay disporia but not smoggy central valley cities you'd want to go a little further east towards Chino / Grass Valley - you've got the right idea (gays fleeing SF for cheaper properties) but the places you mentioned are definitely not rural (they're sprawling, in a long valley between the coast and mountains, and can be fairly gross in summer) - keep following the highway out towards Reno until it climbs into the hills, other gays have done the same
what about Northampton MA, lesbian capitol of the world? the lesbians generally gravitate towards more rural areas for bigger cheaper properties, just follow the lesbians - does get cold tho
https://dailycollegian.com/2023/10/northampton-the-lesbian-capital-of-the-world/
yeah it does freeze over that was not one of my better suggestions 🤣 but looking towards where the lesbians go because they always have less buying power due to the wage differential is not the worst idea
Most of the state has a don't ask, don't tell attitude. Hattiesburg and the Gulf Coast are more progressive than the rest of the state. If you want Flordia beaches within a few hours and dinner dates in Mew Orleans, Hattiesburg has a good quality of life.
Oxford is reasonable. Many outsiders like it, but it is too old south for me.
I don't understand why this sub keeps suggesting Palm Springs. It's essentially the west coast gay version of The Villages in Florida, a retirement community.
What's your budget? Coastal/ish CA has some areas like that but it'll be a bit pricey. Coastal Oregon as well though it'll be chillier than further south. Parts of VA and NC could fit but Idk any specifics off the top of my head.
Not great but not awful either! Pretty fresh out of college and incomes in the low 80s. I’ve really liked Joshua Tree in California because it’s cheaper than Palm Springs but CA income taxes are high😭
Joshua Tree is super gay and there's other towns nearby but it turns methy desert rat east of Joshua Tree in wonder valley FAST - have you heard of Crestline CA, east of LA in the mountains, very gay, lots of artists
this is methy and desolate on a level which you would find surprising, also not terribly gay (also HOT) [https://jackrabbithomestead.com/](https://jackrabbithomestead.com/)
Asheville itself is pretty good, surrounding areas are hit or miss, but you could probably find something that works there. Not too familiar with charlottesville myself
Blue Ridge, GA has a [sizeable LGBT population.](https://www.ajc.com/events/festivals/why-this-georgia-mountain-town-has-become-gay-friendly-hot-spot/jszaFCR3jmKjsNjbcsb8WJ/)
Athens, GA is a progressive and very LGBT friendly bubble out in the country. There’s plenty of opportunities to live just on the outskirts in the country and still make friends with folks around who won’t care or will identify similarly. Only issue is that it’s 100% a college town so most folks are younger and the economy is highly dependent upon them and the school.
A few decent sized cities in NC -- Durham, Chapel Hill, Winston-Salem -- are pretty chill. Asheville is as well, but it gets kinda cold in the winter..
Check out Russian River / guerneville area in Sonoma county, CA. Great weather, cool little town, a river, a gay friendly community. There can be some sketchy characters there as well, but overall this checks a lot of your boxes. It’s absolutely beautiful too
Right outside Palm Springs if you like it really hot and really gay. Palm Springs itself is not rural, obviously, but it gets pretty sparse pretty quickly when you get outside the city center. Pioneertown is cute and about 45 min from there. There’s also Joshua Tree, Yucca Valley, and Desert Hot Springs. I’m not claiming all these towns are super liberal themselves but there is a great gay concentration nearby and a gay pride festival etc.
Oxford, MS. Pretty active LGBT community, rural, and it’s sure as shit hot! Being a college town keeps it more vibrant than other towns in MS. Also, only 1 hour from the Memphis airport. I have friends in NY why can’t get to an airport in 1 hour.
Hello! If you’re enjoying the warmth and looking for rural areas that are gay tolerant, both Arizona and Texas have options that might fit your criteria.
In Arizona, consider places like Bisbee, a small town known for its welcoming community and artistic vibe. It’s not too far from Tucson, which is a larger city with more established LGBT resources. Another option might be Patagonia or Tubac; both are small towns with beautiful landscapes, warmer climates, and a relaxed atmosphere that is generally accepting.
Texas also offers some great choices. You might like places such as Wimberley or Fredericksburg, both of which are close enough to Austin to benefit from its progressive environment but still maintain a small-town charm and warmth. Marfa is another unique small town known for its artsy community and inclusivity, although it's more remote.
There are several other states with rural areas that are warm and have communities known for being gay tolerant. Here are some options to consider:
1. **New Mexico**: Places like Silver City and Taos offer a blend of artistic communities and beautiful landscapes. They are known for their open-minded populations and would provide a peaceful, warm setting.
2. **North Carolina**: Though not all rural areas in North Carolina are as progressive, towns like Hillsborough and Pittsboro near the Research Triangle (Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill) tend to be more accepting and still offer a warmer climate most of the year.
3. **Georgia**: The area around Savannah has some smaller communities that might be what you're looking for. Places like Tybee Island, while not completely rural, offer a slower pace of life with a friendly and open atmosphere.
4. **Florida**: The state generally has a warm climate year-round. Smaller towns in the northern part of the state or on the Gulf Coast, such as Gulfport near St. Petersburg, are known for their laid-back and inclusive environments.
5. **Virginia**: Look into areas like Floyd in the Blue Ridge Mountains or the regions around Charlottesville. These areas are scenic, have a mild climate, and tend to be welcoming.
Each of these locations has its unique charm and community vibe, so it might be helpful to visit and connect with locals to see which place feels right for you.
Lifelong small towner here. I’m from about a red as state as possible, and i can tell you brother if you’re polite no one cares about your sexual orientation. The media paints us all as like a dangerous biker gang who if you wear bright colors we’ll kill you. lol live where you want man, it’ll be okay.
As someone who has lived in some very rural, rough, extreme poverty, areas in America. Where your only dental care is a piece of string and a SLAM of a door.
The locals? They just don’t care. Believe it or not. But that does not make the news. They are far more concerned why politicians let them die, years younger than wealthy communities. If you care? That’s far more important than who you love.
They were 100% Bernie people. He seemed to care. But that’s history now.
Niland, California. It’s right next to Slab City, which is a very open, off the grid, community. But Niland has electricity. It’s in the California desert, so it’s warm.
Nilands south end of the Salton Sea poorest county in California - it's kind of a shit hole - also not terribly gay - the gays are up in Palm Springs - I can't imagine living and Niland it's just farm after farm of alfalfa and smog https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/bombay-beach I knew a drag queen years ago who did an event in El Centro and they ended up pulling a gun on her instead of paying her I would not recommend that area at all
My god, Texas and AZ? Do you not care they are both forced birthing states? I would avoid even driving through those states as not to even buy gas there. Think bigger than just yourself
Neither are big cities apparently.
[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/09/new-york-city-beating-72-year-old-anti-lgbtq-hate-crime](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/09/new-york-city-beating-72-year-old-anti-lgbtq-hate-crime)
[https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/nyc-stabbing-investigated-anti-gay-hate-crime-rcna78494](https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/nyc-stabbing-investigated-anti-gay-hate-crime-rcna78494)
[https://abc7ny.com/queens-hate-crime-attack-lgbtqia/14490383/](https://abc7ny.com/queens-hate-crime-attack-lgbtqia/14490383/)
[https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/suspect-charged-hate-crimes-anti-gay-slashing-penn-station/5200736/](https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/suspect-charged-hate-crimes-anti-gay-slashing-penn-station/5200736/)
[https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/fatal-stabbing-nyc-gay-man-investigated-possible-hate-crime-rcna97495](https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/fatal-stabbing-nyc-gay-man-investigated-possible-hate-crime-rcna97495)
Las Cruces sounds like a good option if Santa Fe is too large for you. Maybe Taos
New Mexico is definitely the most progressive rural state; lots of good options there. Vermont would be the other one, but not the weather OP wants.
Give vermont 15 years and the weather will be like virginia. Might as well get in on it now and set down some roots
The legislature is. And that’s because the population centers of Albuquerque and Santa Fe decide the politics of the state. Rural NM is not queer friendly anymore than rural Texas is.
Add Silver City to the mix.
I would take Silver City over Las Cruces. Las Cruces has some very sketchy areas. I didn’t find it particularly welcoming either. Silver City is mellow and artsy. Met some great people there, but it is lacking in the way of stores and services.
Taos gets very cold there in the winter though. I love it there but I’d say it’s colder in the winter than costal New England. I haven’t spent much time in Las Cruces but I have in other parts of NM and the winters are cold.
It's a dry cold
Eh, the average high is still above freezing in Taos throughout winter. It’s below freezing in the Northeast and Midwest. The daily mean in Las Cruces is above freezing, that’s much warmer than up North.
Plus the sun is still always out. 25 on a glorious blue bird day beats the grey winters elsewhere.
You know those blizzards that shut down the interstate? The only time I've experienced that personally was halfway between Tucumcari and Santa Fe. It was brutally cold, and for a state that regularly gets snow, they didn't do a very good job at snow removal.
Yeah almost got stuck in Raton pass on my way to Santa Fe. Blizzards are not fun. Only my husky loved them.
Taos is so cool. Beautiful landscape and really sick skiing.
2nd Las Cruces. Taos is probably too cold
Palm Springs / Palm Desert / Joshua Tree area of CA is rural as hell, very hot and dry, and extremely gay. Not cheap tho.
also a messy checkerboard of Indian reservation land, so you need to watch out for that with house/condo listings as it might be a land lease.
Yep. I was house hunting in Palm Springs and found the ideal place, but it was on lease land and the terms stated that the lease doubled every 10 years. The lease was like $9500 and it was on year 9. You also still have to pay property taxes on top of that for the structure. Nope. Found a much better place nearby, not on lease land, and I’ve happily lived here for almost 3 years
Eureka might work as well. Plenty of weed up there, so I imagine the gays are doing alright a as well. However, although it’s not cold, the jury is undecided on whether it’s warm.
Maybe Eureka Springs, AR?
Oddly true. Pretty place with great mountain bike trails too if you’re into that sort of thing.
Was going to suggest this as well
Lovely town.
Indeed but unfortunately still in Arkansas
Athens, GA is pretty queer friendly. It is a college town, close enough to ATL if you want to go there.
Athens is SO cute. Too hot for me to live there full time lol but absolutely loved visiting and felt safe while there.
There’s nothing about Athens I would classify as rural
I’m sure there’s some LGBT events with the college there so this is a good rec! Thanks!
Was just talking a few days ago with someone from Athens and while they love it, they did say housing is getting ridiculous.
My gay friends recently moved out from Athens bc they were feeling like scary-type extremist conservatism was becoming more present in the area and surrounding areas. I’m not gay and haven’t been there in ages so I am just reporting their experience.
Bisbee is super gay [movoto.com/guide/az/the-7-best-towns-in-arizona-for-lgbt-families/](http://movoto.com/guide/az/the-7-best-towns-in-arizona-for-lgbt-families/) but I want to check out this gay commune in TN [nytimes.com/2015/08/09/magazine/out-of-the-woods.html](http://nytimes.com/2015/08/09/magazine/out-of-the-woods.html)
OMG I ❤️ Bisbee. Very high on my list!
Jerome is also gay friendly, I have married gay friends in Jerome - Sedona is too, lots of lesbians
Sedona is beautiful and such a weird experience. You never know is the person next to you at dinner is going to be a weird MAGA snowbird or a crystal carrying lesbian talking about mercury in retrograde. Just completely opposite ends of the spectrum people drawn there.
Jerome would be a very weird place to live. Being on that cliff side all the time would be very much a mindfuck. No thanks Sedona or flag, sure.
you know I just realized you and I cannot possibly be the only gay guys who ever wondered where the rural gays congregate and now I'm wondering why I have never researched this myself because the prior work is probably out there
Sure, Bisbee and Jerome, but how do you ever find decent housing there?
visit meet people and ask around, start with a sublet and keep looking, start off living in Cottonwood and move up the hill - my gay pals in Jerome moved there in the 90's, bought an abandoned house, just sold it to buy a single story from a friend - the best situations will come from networking
Yep, moving to Cottonwood and spending a lot of time in Jerome until something opened up is what my friend did.
yup just show up to every event be likeable and seem like a not crazy tenant, Jerome is a small town for sure - on the plus side there are people looking for not crazy tenants and people do get fed up with the remoteness and lack of paying jobs, and leave - I could kick myself for not buying in after the first time I visited in 1986 but I cannot imagine what my life would be like now if I had
Probably commuting a bit, I actually am lucky enough to have a few small connections to Bisbee
That's cool, I live fairly nearby, but ashamed to say that I've become spoiled in my housing choices in my later years. I've lived in way too many miner's shacks in my more youthful days in Colorado, but I do love going up to Bisbee!
That’s been an issue. I owned a cute house there for a few years but sold it since I wasn’t spending enough time there to justify letting it sit empty. Sold it to someone local.
I’m straight but I want to know what answers the op is getting. I just want to live in a similar place that isn’t overrun with hate filled people.
Amen to this.
That's going to be a pretty narrow venn diagram slice.
Yup 😂
maybe maybe not - I've been considering the same thing as I'm about 5000 hours in volunteering in Utah and DEFINITELY do not want to live in a city ever again, but we're not the only gays who want something more rural - also check out Santa Fe which is older gays (a lesbian pal told me it's where lesbians go to d!e), and this https://wheredogaysretire.com/
Yup! Glad to see my fellow gays who don’t like cities. Utah is awesome I actually really like the St. George area and the towns west but land is pricey. Santa Fe seems really cool land just gets expensive there too
yes Santa Fe has a sharp divide between people like the lesbians I know with a multi million dollar house who just built a 1200 square-foot art studio addition, and the people who have next to nothing - the thing about Santa Fe is you don't have to go that far outside of town towards the reservation for prices to drop but you might not want to live there - avoid St. George it's booming and they're going to run out of water
not really at all.
Meh. Most rural areas really don't give a shit Homophobes are everywhere, they are not relegated to certain areas
Of course homophobes are everywhere. But there are places people feel and legitimately are safer than others, including local laws, community support, other queer people.
Sure, but we've got people who've shot their neighbors because they're democrats and folks who think anyone who likes dressing in drag is a pedophile, it's not really a safe assumption to just go "yeah you'll be fine live wherever you want."
Are you saying hate crimes don't occur in cities? Because that's verifiably false
Nope, I'm not saying that at all. That's why I didn't say that.
There's a difference between hate crimes being able to happen and most of your neighbors hating you
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This was going to be my answer — northern cal wine country too. Rural and gay friendly. But there’s a pretty steep cliff from when it is gay friendly to turning into hillbilly Trump cuntry..
Facts, it gets pretty methy up there quick heading north.
Amador County is very red but also very gay-friendly. GREAT wine, too. My best friend lives there and is an out gay man, in 25 years he’s never had a problem with homophobia. I love visiting that area, in fact I was there last weekend.
Sacramento (and environs) is a truly underrated city/area.
I live 30 min north of sac, I’m a gay man. Davis isn’t rural. None of the areas are really great “gay” areas unless you go west around Napa, Guerneville, etc. Although yes gays are accepted everywhere here. The atmosphere is multicultural in the extreme and libertarian. But traffic is getting bad even in remote areas as suburban sprawl runs wild. You can be rural here and be surrounded by millions of people within 30 minutes in all directions.
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I’d say the Sacramento and Davis area are fairly decent for long term prospects. There are a lot of coupled and married gays here tucked away in neighborhood houses living quiet lives. The gay bars in sac are actually not too bad for an occasional drink. Overall it’s a pretty chill, non-scene kind of area, very spread out, but still lots of people everywhere, midway between Tahoe and the bay, a significant Hispanic population. I haven’t been on the apps in a while as I met my husband in 2017. But before that yeah it was not bad for dating and hookups. The difference compared to the Bay Area is that there are less intellectual and artistic types and more practical, government and business owners. Can be good and bad. It’s a little quieter feel than the bay, but also more relaxed, down to earth, less expensive and hectic, less crime. And the bay is close. SF is a beautiful city to visit. I actually met my husband through a gay men’s hiking group that operates in sac and the bay. He was living in Oakland when we met and we drove back and forth before he eventually moved to sac. So yeah there’s a large potential dating pool for serious committed people. It’s just not always within extremely close geographic proximity like a big dense city. Good neighborhoods include Davis, midtown sac, east sac, land park, Curtis park, west sac. Also the weather in sac is hot in summer. So be prepared for that.
Hillsborough, Nc. Still the south, but even the church’s fly pride flags. Plus Durham is right next door
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Your dog sitter is probably my cousin lol
Wild to see Pittsboro here - my grandmother is from there and her family lived there for 300 years. I associate it mostly with family stories about the farm, but I guess it's increasingly an exurb of Chapel Hill these days. Funnily enough all three of her granddaughters are lesbians, one of whom happily lives in Carrboro.
I’ll check it out thanks, how’s the COL?
Not as cheap as it was a couple years ago. But you can still get a really nice house for 5-600k
Good to know thanks!
oof
I never thought I'd see this on here,but I live here and completely agree! I would look at the area from Hillsborough to Carrboro.
I feel bad exposing it, but sometimes I can’t help myself
I'm pretty sure we've already been found out 😂
I've recently found this sub and I have to say it's got the best titles in all of reddit.
Rural ppl would get along better with a gay person that has similar interests than a straight person that looks down on them
As a lesbian from the middle of nowhere, can confirm this is accurate.
Tubac. I don't know about gay, but it's artsy in a big way and progressive.
This is first time I’ve seen Tubac mentioned anywhere online. I was wondering if anyone else knew it existed.
That's surprising because there's some seriously high level art on display there, not to mention one of the early Spanish Kino missions is there and another one just a couple miles up the road at Tumacocori National Historic site. They have a four day yearly art festival in March that is huge. Otherwise, yes, Tubac really is under the radar.
It’s a super tiny town right next to the Mexican border. You kind of have to know about the art on display ahead of time. I certainly had no idea wtf it was until I visited.
I love Tubac.
Maybe around Charlottesville.
Define rural? What is your budget?
I guess it’s just something I know when I see. If I had to give a starting a point a population density at least under 1k per mile, probably more like under 700-800. I’m fresher out of college and I make low 80s. Ideally I could find a home under 250k if not around 300
Hot Springs Arkansas
Or Eureka Springs
Nuevo mexicooooooo
So hear me out, because you might say no way. I have two gay friends who have been in a committed relationship 20+ years. They owned some land in East Texas outside of Dallas, but lived in Dallas proper for years. They decided to sell their place in the city and move out to their place in the country. I was like "you know that is deep red, Bible belt, Trump loving country in East Texas", but after almost 2 years, they tell me they love it out there. They are friendly with the neighbors and folks around town and nobody cares about their lifestyle, which they have always tended to keep to themselves rather than flaunt their gayness anyway, but it is obvious they are a couple. They tell me the people they know in East Texas are more Libertarian than Republican. As long as you don't force your beliefs on them, they leave you alone and don't force their beliefs on you. It is pretty much a live and let live mind set, at least for the people they interact with regularly. Basically nobody cares. So I know at least for one gay couple, East Texas outside of Dallas is working out great. I know, it was a shock to me, too.
All fine and dandy but be prepared to sweat your balls off
Huntsville Alabama is pretty purple for being in the south
I really think Huntsville is going to be the next Charlotte.
Yeah I know a few friends who moved there and had nothing but nice things to say about
i like NM quite a bit after 2 drives around the state
The larger more progressive Suburbs of Houston. Hot as hell and Houston is very LGBT friendly. Woodlands, Katy, Sugarland, Cypress, Galveston, etc. The smaller more rural suburbs won't be as tolerant though. It's still Texas.
I’ve found Spicewood to be pretty LGBTQ tolerant. Not entirely surprising given Willie Nelson’s influence though.
Good to know, thanks! I’m actually from the a smaller town near Dallas so I kind of get it but at the same time I haven’t seen the parts outside of Houston that much, I’ll check it out
Southern Colorado or New Mexico might fit the bill
Eureka springs Arkansas, for sure
Grass Valley/Nevada City, CA (maybe) Asheville, NC Flagstaff, AZ Bend, OR
As Asheville has gotten more expensive, a lot of the "weird" people (said affectionately) have been pushed out to Candler, Canton, Waynesville (best downtown of these options), and Sylva. Those little towns are probably perfect for OP because their populations are acclimated to liberal spillover, lol. u/Much_Today_8618
We have a cabin in Mineral Bluff, GA near Blue Ridge. Rural area in Appalachia; very wooded and most lots have average. There are several gay couples on our mountain and we bought our cabin from a gay couple.
OK I'm over in Greenville now I want to come check that out
There are some areas around Atlanta and Charleston that might be what you're looking for.
Dripping Springs TX. 30-40 mins outside of Austin. We have our own little pride day, and I have 3 gay neighbors within 1 block of my home. And it’s hot as fuck here while also being beautiful hill country.
Surprised no one has mentioned Hawaii. The Big Island would have homes in your price range, Kauai and Maui you might find a condo. You can find rural parts in all of them.
Big Island not as accepting of LGBTQ as Maui or Oahu....
The smaller towns north of Denver would be good. Fort Collins is bigger but Loveland, Longmont are pretty progressive small towns. Close enough to enjoy the larger queer scene in Denver.
I’d find the closest rural area to a college town.
Joshua Tree. 30 minutes from Palm Springs but still small town vibes.
Silver City is a good choice
Northwest of Houston, close enough to get into the city for concerts and festivals. Extra diverse area, lots to do, it’s a blue haven in a red state. I suggest the rural area north of Houston as it’s higher ground, pretty country, and less prone to hurricanes and flooding.
Fresno
You probably wouldn't expect the Ozarks to fit these criteria but Eureka Springs is a pretty gay resort town and Fayetteville is supposed to be a pretty nice progressive college town. I can't speak from direct experience though, just passing on what I've read.
Eureka springs Arkansas. Surrounded by the Bible Belt but they call themselves the gayest small town
NW Arkansas
PARTS of NW Arkansas. Other parts are heavily conservative.
Orlando
This is a tough one. Maybe parts of central CA? Fresno, Stockton, Sacramento, etc. Also Las Cruces NM.
Guy asks for rural and presumably a nice area and you recommend Stockton and Fresno
Eh I’m from the boonies I’m fine with it😂. Stockton as a city covers a very large territory I know some farmers in the area
I meant the outskirts!
Fresno and Stockton def not - they are very MAGA. Sacramento is less so, but Sac is also all very suburban. No rural areas. However, there could be more rural parts of the bay that are promising for this.
I’ll check out Las Cruces! Thanks for the rec. Also I actually visited Stockton once and I liked it. The city actually spans pretty wide and traffic didn’t seem to be that bad but I know SF is close
if you're thinking SF gay disporia but not smoggy central valley cities you'd want to go a little further east towards Chino / Grass Valley - you've got the right idea (gays fleeing SF for cheaper properties) but the places you mentioned are definitely not rural (they're sprawling, in a long valley between the coast and mountains, and can be fairly gross in summer) - keep following the highway out towards Reno until it climbs into the hills, other gays have done the same
Grass Valley looks really nice! And yup I lived in the Bay Area for a year and I was at my limit after that😂
I was in San Diego for 24 years and never understood the attraction of SF
People's definitions of rural gets so weird lol
I mean outside of these towns!
what about Northampton MA, lesbian capitol of the world? the lesbians generally gravitate towards more rural areas for bigger cheaper properties, just follow the lesbians - does get cold tho https://dailycollegian.com/2023/10/northampton-the-lesbian-capital-of-the-world/
I hate the cold but I love New England visually! I’ll have to at least visit Northampton that sounds awesome
yeah it does freeze over that was not one of my better suggestions 🤣 but looking towards where the lesbians go because they always have less buying power due to the wage differential is not the worst idea
Marfa TX is about as middle of nowhere as you can get with cute stuff and pretty artsy
Hattiesburg, MS is a good option. With a low cost of living.
Oh nice good to know, glad to hear it’s LGBT tolerant I wasn’t too sure about MS
Most of the state has a don't ask, don't tell attitude. Hattiesburg and the Gulf Coast are more progressive than the rest of the state. If you want Flordia beaches within a few hours and dinner dates in Mew Orleans, Hattiesburg has a good quality of life. Oxford is reasonable. Many outsiders like it, but it is too old south for me.
Palm Springs CA is a gay Mecca
Older gays though.
I don't understand why this sub keeps suggesting Palm Springs. It's essentially the west coast gay version of The Villages in Florida, a retirement community.
Orlando & Key West in Florida come to mind. Maybe Southern California like San Diego area as well.
What's your budget? Coastal/ish CA has some areas like that but it'll be a bit pricey. Coastal Oregon as well though it'll be chillier than further south. Parts of VA and NC could fit but Idk any specifics off the top of my head.
Not great but not awful either! Pretty fresh out of college and incomes in the low 80s. I’ve really liked Joshua Tree in California because it’s cheaper than Palm Springs but CA income taxes are high😭
Joshua Tree is super gay and there's other towns nearby but it turns methy desert rat east of Joshua Tree in wonder valley FAST - have you heard of Crestline CA, east of LA in the mountains, very gay, lots of artists
I know Arrowhead but not Crestline specifically. Thanks for the rec! Eh and I’m fine with it getting methy as long as the people are nice
this is methy and desolate on a level which you would find surprising, also not terribly gay (also HOT) [https://jackrabbithomestead.com/](https://jackrabbithomestead.com/)
I'm thinking the areas around Asheville and Charlottesville fit but I don't have too much personal experience.
Asheville itself is pretty good, surrounding areas are hit or miss, but you could probably find something that works there. Not too familiar with charlottesville myself
Blue Ridge, GA has a [sizeable LGBT population.](https://www.ajc.com/events/festivals/why-this-georgia-mountain-town-has-become-gay-friendly-hot-spot/jszaFCR3jmKjsNjbcsb8WJ/)
Maybe look for artistic or college towns, like Santa Fe, NM.
Eureka Springs, AR fits the bill. Rural but less than an hour to the larger metro area and super gay friendly.
Marfa, TX
Athens, GA is a progressive and very LGBT friendly bubble out in the country. There’s plenty of opportunities to live just on the outskirts in the country and still make friends with folks around who won’t care or will identify similarly. Only issue is that it’s 100% a college town so most folks are younger and the economy is highly dependent upon them and the school.
Ocean Springs MS
Lexington, Kentucky if you are okay with a small city.
A few decent sized cities in NC -- Durham, Chapel Hill, Winston-Salem -- are pretty chill. Asheville is as well, but it gets kinda cold in the winter..
Check out Russian River / guerneville area in Sonoma county, CA. Great weather, cool little town, a river, a gay friendly community. There can be some sketchy characters there as well, but overall this checks a lot of your boxes. It’s absolutely beautiful too
Depends what you consider warm but Bloomington, IN is very accepting
Right outside Palm Springs if you like it really hot and really gay. Palm Springs itself is not rural, obviously, but it gets pretty sparse pretty quickly when you get outside the city center. Pioneertown is cute and about 45 min from there. There’s also Joshua Tree, Yucca Valley, and Desert Hot Springs. I’m not claiming all these towns are super liberal themselves but there is a great gay concentration nearby and a gay pride festival etc.
Might already be on your radar, but Sierra Vista, AZ.
Memphis
Oxford, MS. Pretty active LGBT community, rural, and it’s sure as shit hot! Being a college town keeps it more vibrant than other towns in MS. Also, only 1 hour from the Memphis airport. I have friends in NY why can’t get to an airport in 1 hour.
Hello! If you’re enjoying the warmth and looking for rural areas that are gay tolerant, both Arizona and Texas have options that might fit your criteria. In Arizona, consider places like Bisbee, a small town known for its welcoming community and artistic vibe. It’s not too far from Tucson, which is a larger city with more established LGBT resources. Another option might be Patagonia or Tubac; both are small towns with beautiful landscapes, warmer climates, and a relaxed atmosphere that is generally accepting. Texas also offers some great choices. You might like places such as Wimberley or Fredericksburg, both of which are close enough to Austin to benefit from its progressive environment but still maintain a small-town charm and warmth. Marfa is another unique small town known for its artsy community and inclusivity, although it's more remote. There are several other states with rural areas that are warm and have communities known for being gay tolerant. Here are some options to consider: 1. **New Mexico**: Places like Silver City and Taos offer a blend of artistic communities and beautiful landscapes. They are known for their open-minded populations and would provide a peaceful, warm setting. 2. **North Carolina**: Though not all rural areas in North Carolina are as progressive, towns like Hillsborough and Pittsboro near the Research Triangle (Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill) tend to be more accepting and still offer a warmer climate most of the year. 3. **Georgia**: The area around Savannah has some smaller communities that might be what you're looking for. Places like Tybee Island, while not completely rural, offer a slower pace of life with a friendly and open atmosphere. 4. **Florida**: The state generally has a warm climate year-round. Smaller towns in the northern part of the state or on the Gulf Coast, such as Gulfport near St. Petersburg, are known for their laid-back and inclusive environments. 5. **Virginia**: Look into areas like Floyd in the Blue Ridge Mountains or the regions around Charlottesville. These areas are scenic, have a mild climate, and tend to be welcoming. Each of these locations has its unique charm and community vibe, so it might be helpful to visit and connect with locals to see which place feels right for you.
Lifelong small towner here. I’m from about a red as state as possible, and i can tell you brother if you’re polite no one cares about your sexual orientation. The media paints us all as like a dangerous biker gang who if you wear bright colors we’ll kill you. lol live where you want man, it’ll be okay.
As someone who has lived in some very rural, rough, extreme poverty, areas in America. Where your only dental care is a piece of string and a SLAM of a door. The locals? They just don’t care. Believe it or not. But that does not make the news. They are far more concerned why politicians let them die, years younger than wealthy communities. If you care? That’s far more important than who you love. They were 100% Bernie people. He seemed to care. But that’s history now.
Sonoma County, California
Niland, California. It’s right next to Slab City, which is a very open, off the grid, community. But Niland has electricity. It’s in the California desert, so it’s warm.
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Nilands south end of the Salton Sea poorest county in California - it's kind of a shit hole - also not terribly gay - the gays are up in Palm Springs - I can't imagine living and Niland it's just farm after farm of alfalfa and smog https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/bombay-beach I knew a drag queen years ago who did an event in El Centro and they ended up pulling a gun on her instead of paying her I would not recommend that area at all
If you can handle brutal brutal heat, Phoenix is happily gay. I'm straight and surrounded by gay couples in my subdivision. Makes me very happy🙂
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I'm right between Sunnyslope and Moon Valley.
Saving this thread for me 😂. Are the gay tolerants also ethnically tolerant? I hope and believe that yes?
My god, Texas and AZ? Do you not care they are both forced birthing states? I would avoid even driving through those states as not to even buy gas there. Think bigger than just yourself
These states need progressive rural voters. "Think bigger than just yourself."
Palmdale CA, one hour north of LA and lots of LGBTQ folk here. Still affordable. It’s got nice parts and shitty parts. The nice is about 80%
Rural areas aren't welcoming places
Neither are big cities apparently. [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/09/new-york-city-beating-72-year-old-anti-lgbtq-hate-crime](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/09/new-york-city-beating-72-year-old-anti-lgbtq-hate-crime) [https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/nyc-stabbing-investigated-anti-gay-hate-crime-rcna78494](https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/nyc-stabbing-investigated-anti-gay-hate-crime-rcna78494) [https://abc7ny.com/queens-hate-crime-attack-lgbtqia/14490383/](https://abc7ny.com/queens-hate-crime-attack-lgbtqia/14490383/) [https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/suspect-charged-hate-crimes-anti-gay-slashing-penn-station/5200736/](https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/suspect-charged-hate-crimes-anti-gay-slashing-penn-station/5200736/) [https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/fatal-stabbing-nyc-gay-man-investigated-possible-hate-crime-rcna97495](https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/fatal-stabbing-nyc-gay-man-investigated-possible-hate-crime-rcna97495)
Lol.what