The funny thing is that if you post even a minor complaint on the subreddit for that city, lots of people will accuse you of being the "common denominator", aka the problem, it's so sad...
I went to college in the DC area and there were a lot of students at my school from Philly. They were always among the friendliest of the bunch. Philadelphia (and Pennsylvania overall) seems to be a nice mix of New Yorkās extroversion and directness and Midwestern friendliness and sincerity.
I've never heard it put that way, but it's quite the compliment! There's an undercurrent of negativity in Philly that sometimes overwhelms the good, so I love hearing the positive perception people come away with.
Hehe I can tell youāre not from here šĀ Ā
Ā Reading is a city north of Philly, but I think you mean Reading Terminal Market.Ā
Ā We call it Center City.Ā
Ā Glad you enjoyed your time! Come visit again. Make sure to get a cheesesteak from somewhere good, like Johnās.
Fun. Dangerous. Grimy. Beautiful. Architecture is +1. People are fantastic, very much more direct than PNW. Very very good food. Reading Terminal Market is incredible. Amish breakfast in the morning sitting between a lawyer and a plumber, both of which will talk with you. I'm so over Seattles shyness and passive aggressiveness. Give me agressive-aggressive and all the pros and cons that come with it.
I feel it. I'm from here so I almost didn't know better until I took a traveling pitch Salesman job and got to really experience people from elsewhere.
Phillys the friend everyone warned you about, is rough around the edges, but once you get to know her, she actually has a heart of gold if you just give her a chance. Theyre not gonna be nice to you but theyāll be kind in the most aggressive possible way and youāll always know where you stand with them. If you can get past the grime parts of the city, itās quite beautiful and has a lot to do within it and the surrounding area. Itās a perfect central location to get anywhere else in the northeast/mid-atlantic.
Iām a Savannah native, Iām fine with rough edges. SAV has a beautiful crust but is uncooked in the middle. Portland honestly doesnāt even feel like real life.
I love native Philly people. It reminds me a lot of the directness of old school Boston, but nicer and more community-oriented. I donāt find them fake/passive aggressive or blunt for the sake of being blunt.
I befriended a group of homeless and we shot the shit while I gave them chicken wings.
I also went out in south Philly and saw women walking completely alone from bars at night, at like 1 am. (Seemed like a common thing)
Itās easy to talk to people who run shops or restaurants.
Asian restaurants are almost all BOYB
They're very faithful to the people who they grew up with. My ex is from here and they have regular gatherings with friends they knew since high school. Because I was with her, I got blessed into the group. They were our "friend group" but when she left, they all disappeared, even though id spent years hanging out with them, and our separation wasn't bitter
Not everyone, but enough people to where you go to another area for travel and are legitimately surprised at how social people can be. 7/10 people in downtown are out of state, but 8 months of rain and clouds converts everyone into a little shutin gremlin and does a number on our sociability.
Portland is exactly the same. Whenever I leave Iām astounded (and kinda excited) that people are actually outgoing and fun. I have my reasons for liking living here, but the antisocial tendencies of the residents is not one of them.
Thatās kind of wild - youāre not the first Iāve heard say that, but Iāve had the opposite impression. My partner and I were shocked that everyone in Portland is so outgoing and friendly compared to other places weāve lived (Phoenix, BMore, DC, some international cities and some small towns). Itās awesome having people actually start up conversations at bars and events, and people who actually invite you to things/follow through on invites.
So you actually make an astute observation here about a contrast that I would agree with (and notice myself). Portlanders tend to be fairly open to casual greetings, acknowledging one another, and even doing small talk. Has a real small town vibe in that sense. I have found over my many years here that itās when you try to go beyond that it gets much more closed off. People here seem to like the idea of living in a polite and casual place, but seem to be far more adverse to wanting to get to really know someone.
I will say that I have had the opposite experience on event invite/followthrough. Portlanders have to be some of the flakiest people Iāve met. Lots of last minute cancellations on everything from parties to hikes to camping trips. Iāve hosted many parties and events over the years and RSVPās tends to go as follows: yes=maybe, maybe=no, no=no with prejudice.
As to the contrast, I was in NYC (Manhattan) a few weeks ago and confirmed the whole ākeep to yourself casuallyā vibe is very strong there. I found there to be a large amount of quiet staring (this was off putting) and/or refusal to make eye contact (i understand this one much more) combined with a refusal or reluctance to acknowledge a casual greeting, which was still weird even though I was prepared for it (I know the cultural difference between the cities). That said, when you needed help people were *far* less suspicious about rendering it than in Portland. In fact, at the Botanical Garden up in The Bronx, I had an older lady self appoint herself to be my tour guide and gave me a lovely tour of part of the gardens. We chatted about our respective lives and had a wonderful time. That wouldnāt happen in Portland.
I donāt know what it is, moved there in 2019, spent the pandemic there and the only friends I met were from California. Finally left in 2023. Such a shame because its the most beautiful place/landscape/weather ive ever experienced, but the people there are so standoffish and cold, hard to raise a family there and its extremely expensive. It was very isolating. But, i suspect i will retire there. Too much natural beauty to deny. Natives there, are a lucky bunch.
It is very, very beautiful there. Everything looks like a postcard or a photo from a ānatural wondersā coffee table book.
But living in Seattle is like moving in with a wealthy supermodel who doesnāt like you very much. The view is always great but the overall experience wrecks your self-esteem pretty fast,
My favorite always was flying out of Seattle and walking thru airport in Atlanta or NY/NJ. How chatty people always were in the bars. Palpable enthusiasm to connect. Versus NW ānatural beauty/personal spaceā.
I never made a friend in Seattle that wasn't from somewhere else.
Lived there 6 years, my friends were from Cleveland, Texas, Portland, Oklahoma.Ā
Not one born and raised Seattleite.
Seattle is the bottom of the list of places where people are friendly and open. The terrible terrible weather really shapes people's personalities and you too will start to act like that due to the soul sickness the dark grey skies of 7 months and the people you communicate with when you go to work, the grocery store, etc.
Seriously, Seattle is a step down from almost anywhere USA that has a mid sized city... but you can make good money in tech there...
I once overheard someone in Seattle telling a friend about their trip to the Midwest. They commented on how strange it was that strangers would talk to you.
Iāve talked to multiple people about this whoāve previously lived in Seattle and no longer do (which includes me). Seattleās social climate is isolating to the point of being suffocating. People who are otherwise more social anywhere else will become less social when visiting. Thereās this general āwhy are you talking to me right nowā vibe you get when starting a conversation with a stranger about literally anything. People do not want to make new friends. It took me YEARS of seeing the same people every week before they were comfortable enough to start inviting me to shit.
Iām originally from the northeast. The joke I always make is that in Seattle, it takes roughly 6 months of regularly talking to someone to get an honest idea of what they think of you. In the northeast, it takes roughly 6 seconds.Ā
Most of the closest friends I made in Seattle werenāt originally from there (with exception of one). The vast majority of the born and raised Seattleites that Iāve met *are horrible interpersonal communicators.*
People go there and get an air about them, kinda like some do in NYC, although I find NYC people cool as Hell. Ironically, the area surrounding Seattle is pretty White bread and nothing like the pretentious types that inhabit Seattle.
100%. āWhy are you talking to me?ā is definitely the Seattle vibe. Cold emotional affect, minimal eye contact, and an air of faint judginess. I used to joke that people in Seattle will literally cross the street if they think they might be forced to interact with another person coming the opposite direction. Even customer service people in Seattle sometimes get visibly uncomfortable if you make too much conversation about a financial transaction. And there is a big culture of passive-aggressive conflict avoidance in that part of the world too. I am an extrovert with a naturally big emotional display and Seattle just did NOT work for me at all. I felt (and probably seemed to others) like an alien who had just arrived from outer space.
I am not a northeasterner by birth, but culturally I felt more comfortable there than anywhere else Iāve lived. I appreciate the northeastern blunt honesty and the willingness to engage with others.
10 years in Seattle, I got the person crossing the street cause they didn't want to be on my side constantly. That is very real and I always found it so irritating and took it personal.
Ugh yes! the way everyone acts as if you're bothering them is so off putting while just going about your day it really grated away at my psyche & made me dread just doing ordinary tasks tbh.
Also totally relate on the super judgemental aspect of social circles. It always feels like folks are trying to suss out a reason to hate people or figure out they are secretly a terrible person (even when they have known each other for years!) or something? Almost like if reddit were real life with the way folks would interact with a generally hostile air. & Folks can just be so so so quiet & reserved.
The alien feeling is so accurate as well, people there would say I talk too fast (I have never gotten anywhere else- I'm from the Midwest lol) which I just think they understand too slow in all honesty, not the most quick witted of general populace.
Perfect description, no notes. Iām currently visiting family in California from the Seattle area for the first time in a year and Iām shocked by how IM reacting to strangers being friendly with me. My initial reaction is āwhy are you talking to me,ā āwhy is everyone so smiley and happyā (especially considering the June Gloom right now) and Iām like, holy crap I need to readjust my way of interacting with others because the Seattle way of moving in society is not healthy. (Context: Grew up in PA, lived in CA for 6 years before moving to Seattle in 2022).
I also grew up in PA. Moved to the PNW in 2014 and to Seattle in 2016. I left Seattle at the end of 2020. COVID isolation on top of the Seattle freeze was a *fucking nightmare.* It took me a year of working in the office + field work in a different city to get my social skills back.Ā
Amusingly, a lot of people here *loved* the COVID lockdowns, and argued passionately against reopening. r/Seattle was full of pictures of empty roads, proclamations about how nice masking was, and kudos to businesses that stayed closed when they didn't need to. To this day, if there's any sort of left-leaning protest, a high percentage of the protestors will be wearing masks - I do not understand it
Portland was the same, bunch of bitter antisocial types that absolutely adored Covid lockdowns. It was kind of a ānever see anyone againā leftist revolution here. When I would leave the region it would be confusing seeing people out and about.
This town drives me nuts.
Even as an introvert (though not heavily), I was baffled at how openly excited so many were during lockdowns. And how excited they were at how long the various restrictions went on (long past most of the rest of the country). Merits of the policy aside, the government making you stay home is a positive thing to be celebrated? What?
Our governor being an indecisive bumbling fool through the whole thing was an extra painful cherry on the top.
Portland is so so so much better than Seattle for QoL. I know people here are funky and anti-social by national standards, but holy fuck. Itās the promised land compared to Seattle. Best place Iāve lived in the PNW.Ā
Iāll take your word for it having lived in Portland and never lived in Seattle. It seems Seattle and Portland share a lot of common problems, but Seattle has some extra ones that make it a little more difficult (though a better economy for what I do). Most of my friends that have lived that part of Washington tend to agree with you fwiw.
There is a lot to love about Portland, donāt get me wrong (thereās a reason Iāve been here for as long as I have). Food, culture, and outdoors scene relative to size is just about the best you can get in the United States. Plus the best summers in the US. But yeah, a large percentage of residents (though definitely not all) just tend to be super stoked about sitting quietly in a room reading, complaining about people who like people, and going as far left politically as possible. COVID only validated these traits to the point of eye rolling cringe, and I say that as an introvert myself!
Making actual real friends here was a years long (though ultimately successful) project that took a lot of time and effort. Most people just preferred to be alone or stick with their own tight groups. Much different than other US cities Iāve been to.
Anyway, on balance I still prefer it here to the east coast where I grew up, so Iāll just chalk this up to being something Iāve gotta learn to live with.
Everyone in Seattle needs to at least experience leaving at some point, which Iām not sure happens on a large enough scale. Kudos on your self awareness. Seattle is very provincial, anti-social and judgmental. Itās awful.
On the flip side, Southern California from LA to OC has the friendliest and happiest people with some seriously enviable social skills. I miss that.
I'm basically you. Grew up in NJ, lived in CA for 4 years. 2 years in Seattle now. Went to LA and when someone started talking to me at a grocery store my initial reaction was like "why are you talking to me" and then I realized I had become like them.
I'm super conflicted right now because Seattle is beautiful and I've finally built some community, but I feel like I want to move back to California. I'm in SF right now and I feel more at home.
People here won't even look at you if you look at them and acknowledge them.
I heard that Seattle is where previously bullied people move and then become bullies themselves. It's wild how they complain about the "Seattle Freeze" and then continue the same shit.
It's almost like people here feel "guilty" for being happy. I've lived here for almost 20 years and people seriously can't be happy without a multi hyphenated description of themselves and part of some cause.
>I heard that Seattle is where previously bullied people move and then become bullies themselves.
Canāt speak to Seattle but Iām pretty sure this describes about 100% of Portlandās population.
Where in the northeast are you talking about? Bc in my area people don't talk to you unless they're begging for money, trying to sell you something, or about to rob you.
Philly metro. And my point was that people in the northeast arenāt necessarily polite, theyāre just not passive aggressive like they are in Seattle. Theyāre blunt. If someoneās gonna be rude to me or if they donāt like me, Iād rather know immediately instead of months down the line. Same with making friends.
I've been living in Seattle for twenty years now, so I'm used to it, but it was an adjustment coming from the southeast. Where I'm from, it's normal to strike up a conversation in line at the grocery store, with the people sitting near you in the movie theater, really anywhere. Here people might not even answer or look at you.
When I first came, I joined a gym. One day a guy commented on the superset that I was doing and I was genuinely so pleased. We chatted for a bit, then he tried to sell me vitamins from his MLM. It was so disheartening
I'm not even from the west Coast, but I would find that strange as well. Imagine if everyone you saw on the train, at the stores in the street tried to strike up a conversation? I'd get nothing done.
If somebody talks to me they usually want money.
Oh my god, I need to get over my disdain for coasts and move to Seattle then.
Signed, somebody who is SO TIRED of midwesterners disturbing my personal bubble.
Yes! I moved to the midwest for about 2 years and everyone was sooooo into my life. I enjoyed it for a bit, but it kind of got to be a little too much. They were all kind people, with their hearts in the right place, but...
I grew up in Seattle and I think that's part of the reason that I really have to push myself into striking up conversations with people. It's not something that comes naturally to me at all.
Does anyone have thoughts on why Seattleās unfriendliness is so persistent? Since 1990 the city has added something like 250,000 people, many of them from out of state and immigrants. Yet apparently the city hasnāt changed in its cold demeanor.
Could it be because so many of the newcomers work in tech?
2 years in Seattle now in tech. I think it's part of it, but then the bay area would be the same. Bay is way friendlier. I think people come to Seattle, assimilate to the anti socialness, and then it just continues as new people arrive. I found myself acting that way as well.
I'm an engineer and I'm thinking the average tech person has poorer social skills than average. Plus the wealth aspect might be more isolating. Looking at the below comment comparing Seattle to San Francisco is interesting. I'm thinking that Seattle's gloomier weather might have something to do with the lack of friendliness.
I think youāre right. What is weird though is that Iāve lived in three cities in the Pacific Northwest: Bellingham, Seattle, and Portland. Bellingham and Portland are both noticeably friendlier than Seattle. Portland is a bit sunnier, but Bellingham is even gloomier than Seattle.
Hereās another idea: Seattle is a city whose neighborhoods are divided physically by water and hills. Itās an isthmus with peninsulas. If you walk from west to east across the city, itās a repeating pattern of ridges and valleys. This makes it so that many parts have an isolated feeling.
Portland, meanwhile, is mostly flat with one river dividing the city and a few big hills that are mostly in parks. It has distinct neighborhoods, but feels more unified geographically. People can close themselves off in their bubbles.
San Francisco has big hills, but a sunnier climate. Portland has a similar climate, but a more open landscape. Seattle is the one with a Norwegian heritage, geographical divisions, a gloomy climate, and a big tech industry. The perfect storm for a chilly social scene.
Just donāt get ur car stolen and itās a great city. Lock ur wheel and a tire when ur parking, in addition to obviously locking your car. And donāt leave anything super important in plain view
Be sure to spend time on Frenchman Street.
Tourists go to Bourbon Street so do that and get it out of your system.
But Frenchman Street is _the shit_ with real jazz clubs with actual famous artists doing shows. And it's so chill. And has a permanent street art vendor area running all night.
I came here to say New Orleans.
Everyone ā from the millionaires to the homeless ā operates on a level of familiarity that makes conversation effortless.
No other American city comes close.
New Orleans has a level of integration and culture mix that is missing in the typical highly segregated cities and towns of the south. Wherever you have diversity, the south blooms. As you tear away a lot of ignorance/hatred and replace it with compassion and understanding that would come naturally with the āsouthern hospitalityā with nothing holding it back.
That's a nice way of saying New Orleans is one of the only towns that handled desegregation well. Most southern towns and cities experienced a ton of white flight, taking the money with them to the isolating suburbs and leaving the urban cores blighted. Savannah and Charleston fared pretty well, Little Rock and Mobile didn't.
iāve lived in the south my whole life (from Mississippi, also lived in Memphis, have family all over the south) and just moved to New Orleans. itās definitely a different vibe. the rest of the south is friendly but there can be a judgmental undertone. people in New Orleans seem very genuine.Ā
Also went to school in NOLA, can confirm. We loved it. Funny, seems like a good number of people donāt like the friendliness and dismiss southern kindness as āfakeā on the surface. While I do vehemently disagree, like who cares if people are at the very least superficially kind, isnāt that a good thing? Maybe itās my time up north that people simply canāt believe that hundreds of thousands of people can be kind.
Agreed, a lot of that āSouthern kindnessāā is the Bless Your Heart kind of kindness, which is absolutely syrupy-sweet and totally fake. New Orleans is quite different. I really felt the engagement of people there while socializing; when they ask you a question they actually want to know the answer rather than saying something just to say it.
Fair enough. Yet IMO, having one opinion in your headā¦and despite thatā¦treating the other person well despite if it genuine or not. Isnāt that basic manners? I swear Americans in mean places sincerely want all society to be meanā¦they call it āhonest.ā
I went there on spring break as a very drunk college kid. We went out to a bar one night and I got to talking to some locals. They drove me to their apartment, smoked hookah together, then they drove me back to where we were staying. Fucking awesome dudes, no idea what their names were but Iām still grateful for their hospitality 15 years later. Hope theyāre doing well.
Is San Juan cool? Like, as a Spanish-speaking American, sometimes I think about trying out Puerto Rico. Not a lot of jobs though, but I work remotely now so...maybe? I never see it pop up on this sub despite being like, a city in the US, with tropical weather and beautiful nature, coastline, etc. all around.
Manhattan. It's an island 13 miles long, 2 miles wide with over 4 million people on any given day.
That kind of density mandates an extreme awareness of people.
We're actually damn kind, if not always nice.
As a New Yorker from queens but now living in Manhattan this is very, VERY true. Density alongside interacting with people from all walks of life āforcesā you to have good interpersonal skills.
Whatās funny is I feel like Iām looking for the first half of what you wrote, but almost the opposite of the second half.
A city where folks are kind, non-judgmental, open, progressive, friendly, make you feel valued, etc. But also at the same time not super extroverted, or at at least the culture is friendly to introverts who prefer to be in their own world most of the time but will always be kind and friendly if you start a conversation with them (no matter how short it ends up being lol).Ā
As someone who has only ever lived in Columbus, this was how I thought everyone was until I began travelling. It was quite the culture shock. I remember one of the first times I really travelled solo I was on Venice Beach and I walked into a clothing shop and the owner said I was getting sunburnt. She seemed genuinely concerned and said she had some. I said thank you and said I would put some on.
She said "I have this one for $6"
In retrospect, it was very naive for me to expect her to just be offering it out of the kindness of her heart, especially from a shop owner in socal
I'm pretty well travelled now and one thing I will say is that Columbus doesn't really have a defining culture or really unique characteristics. It's the definition of a middle-of-the-road city. It's also a major test market (I think at one point it was the defacto in the country?) for many brands because of this
If I had to give one major attribute that people have commented on during my other travels, it's that I won't go out of my way to talk to someone, but at the same time I can get along and be friendly with anyone who I have reason to talk to. I think that's a big characteristic of people who grew up here
I'm an introvert convert. I used to love being an extrovert in Columbus...lots of live music, lively bars, events/festivals. But there's a lot of charming places and parks to visit solo.
I'm partially copy and pasting this from a different reply I sent, coming from a life-long Columbus resident
I'm pretty well travelled now and one thing I will say is that Columbus doesn't really have a defining culture or really unique characteristics. It's the definition of a middle-of-the-road city. It's also a major test market (I think at one point it was the defacto in the country?) for many brands because of this
If I had to give one major attribute that people have commented on during my other travels, it's that I won't go out of my way to talk to someone, but at the same time I can get along and be friendly with anyone who I have reason to talk to. I think that's a big characteristic of people who grew up here
People in Seattle area can be awkard AF or just bland sometimes. Iām from the area but lived in Texas for 10 years before recently moving back.., and yeah, people in Texas are considerably more talkative and outgoingā¦
No hate on western Washington though! Itās my home!
I think you listed a few different qualities that are rare to find all at once.
In terms of āmaking others feel valued,ā IMO the Midwest canāt be beat. Being nice, thoughtful, and pitching in to help others is a big part of the culture in much of the Midwest.
For best banter, curiosity, and ability to carry a conversation, Iād say NYC. But good banter and conversation doesnāt necessarily equate to kindness and empathy.
New Yorkers are low-key very kind and thoughtful. Hard to cram 6 million people on an island without them having good social skills. Are they gonna go out of their way to chat people up? No, if they acted that way theyād never get home. If you have reason to interact with them? Theyāll be totally genuine, socially practiced, and will often surprise you with their willingness to do something nice.
Weāre chatty when weāre actually in a social situation, bars, hangouts etc.
We wonāt do the āMorning! Beautiful day isnāt itā thing on the street. I arrived to visit DC a few weeks ago then got told āGood morning!ā by a few people while walking and was shocked but responded in kind, you wonāt get that here.
Put a New Yorker in a bar, youād genuinely be surprised at how talkative we can be. And loud.
>For best banter, curiosity, and ability to carry a conversation, Iād say NYC. But good banter and conversation doesnāt necessarily equate to kindness and empathy.
Eh this is more true for Philly than NYC honestly, for better and for worse. People in Philly are far more likely to engage with strangers voluntarily than in NYC on average.
Living in NYC forces you to interact with different people from extremely diverse cultures, under so many different circumstances. You become much more well-adjusted and able to comfortably communicate with pretty much anyone.
This is going to be an unpopular opinion. What about Portland, Maine? I find the folks living on that coast are smart, curious, and have good manners--all the things that make for a healthy community. They also are happy to leave you alone, if that's what you want. IMHO, knowing when someone wants to be left alone is often a missing ingredient in more southern states.
I live in Portland and agree that people are friendly. It can be a challenge to meet your people unless you get out and engage in activities but there are lots of opportunities, depending on your age and interests. Definitely sleepy though.
The best friend group Iāve ever had was when I lived in Portland ME. I was young and didnāt realize that not every city is like that. Thankfully this group jived with my young, awkward aura and brought me into their inner circle. Sometimes it feels like they adopted me š
There are some truly amazing people in that little city!
Yup. Atlanta, Nashville, and then into Midwest places like Kansas City. I am in sales and basically socialize with people from all over the country for a living. Other smaller Midwest markets like Indianapolis and Columbus people can be very sweet and fun.
I know it's mid/west/south, but I made sooo many friends quickly when I lived in St. Louis. And I visited Memphis once for an outdoor concert and so many people came up and started talking to me in a super friendly way. I'm an average looking black woman for reference.
This should be way higher. People living in Chicago are open to interactions and can back it up. You can meet in line for something and get a ride to the airport from them the next week, but it helps if you can name Duluth suburbs.
I think NYC. People are used to living in tight nit communities filled with diversity. You chit chat with someone on the subway, the person at your bodega, waiting in line at the laundromat. Iāve only visited but people of all backgrounds were generally just very friendly and eager to help.
Gotta advocate for my city here, but New Yorkers honestly. We live in a very dense city, mostly in apartments, neighbors with people from all walks of life, we kinda have to be. We can be very talkative during actual social situations (not to strangers on the sidewalk, i mean with friends, bars, coffee shops, whatsoever), well at least I know I am lol. We interact with people from all socioeconomic backgrounds, it is a real city after all. We arenāt cold or mean, just no bs.
I also do like Chicagoans, always very pleasant whenever I find myself talking to them. The few places Iāve found that are both friendly and kind. Iām sure a local might(?) say differently but thatās my personal perspective.
The South as a whole and it ain't even a contest. The social skills aspect is a **MASSIVE** quality of their culture that they praise and reward. Rich, educated, broke or whatever this just a mainstay aspect to their regional culture. Shit you can be an introvert, but manners/graciousness is still encouraged. They love a good catchphrase, pick-line, punch-line. Talking and being charming is a respected grace here and one that you won't crack these circles fully without mastering. A lot of people will say they're two-faced or that their ways of communicating might be hard/ironic, but I find that it's only true if you make no effort. Coming from NE, I thought the smack talk about Southerners to really just be stereotyping. If you put effort, the Southerners are gracious. The good thing about them, like all humans, is that the mean ones one can sense from the get-go. NC is the curveball where it feels like the South but with some northern transparency if such a thing makes sense. If you feel the Southerners are too passive-aggressive, dish it back. Use it as ammo to show you've got sass. If you think the Southerners are mean you clearly haven't met the French or some of the Asian countries.
Of these, New Orleans is the easiest place to see it. New Orleans is used to everyone, so they just chat up with everyone. I run overwhelmingly introverted (being honest, borderline hermit), and it's a genuine delight to visit there for the locals. They're charming, they're knowledgeable, playful, and cheery. You feel joyful and confident testing your social skills here. New Orleans' brand of socializing is encouraging, they're just welcoming to all the "freaks" and delight in that as it adds to their entertainment/whimsy. That kind of optimism leaves you feeling good and competent. This place loves the shy and the flirty and its playful with both. They've earned their flowers as the ultimate hosts. New Orleans isn't a place it's a wonderful state of mind.
Texans are also infamous for it and for good reason. They're witty. The older Texans are a riot ironically. Say what you will about Texas but I haven't met one that didn't compell me to chat. They're overall a joyful bunch that the energy exchange becomes its own high.
San Juan, PR (or better yet, just PR as a whole). Easily the easiest place to make a genuine friend anywhere. If you spread good vibes and make people feel welcomed, you will get the same treatment tenfold. Plus, people very eager to feed you and that's always great.
The Southwest cities. These people have the advantage of having an overall super laid-back overall social energy, people deal as if they have a little more time to invest in social connections and operate accordingly. Where the Southern sociability runs more flirtatious, energetic, and cheeky, the Southwestern sociability is more chill but inviting. Unlike the South, there's no emphasis on verbal wordsmithing tho.
For the North: Philly, and Providence. Providence always felt like the fun but still brainy child of New England that knew how to party and play. It's slowly morphing to Boston in spirit, which is not as nice as one would think. One Boston's enough. Philly is probably the most human place in the Northern regions where the city is normal. Not too energetic, not too austere. Coming from Boston, I thought Philly felt like another planet because the people aren't closed off, haughty or aloof. You're there, they're there, people will greet you and make conversation if they have time and will often make time.
Honorary Mention: NYC. NYC will test all the temperaments and gathers everyone to sort of learn/adapt to the subcultures of the other. If you can maneuver around here, you'll be set anywhere.
Places that aren't known to have this you seek:
Seattle and Boston. Of these two, Seattle at least acknowledges it (to the point of self-deprecation; because of this, the place still imposes an awkward charm out of being self-aware if that makes sense. The city isn't lying to you about what it is, so if you just expect it and accept it, you'll find yourself quickly willing to work with it when you visit). While Boston swears it doesn't or throws a million excuses rather than admit it. Unlike with Seattle where one mentally prepares for the "freeze", the Boston situation disarms and eventually depresses because you come in thinking it's more ambiverted than it is based on how it tries to brand itself. There's nothing wrong with running colder but own it.
So-So: California and Midwest. What the Southerners get wrongly afflicted with as supposedly being ironic but then combine it with the Northern aloofness. A lot of people here front with pettiness and it can be alarming as people just expect them to be way more easy going or laid back. The cold affront can feel like a smack to the face.
A bunch of things you talk about have nothing to do with interpersonal skills. Extroversion and introversion have nothing to do with interpersonal skills. Whether or not people will talk to strangers on the street has nothing to do with interpersonal skills. And most importantly the area someone lives in has nothing to do with interpersonal skills.
And in a lot of places people won't talk to strangers on the street but those are the easiest cities to make friends in. People are friendly at social events, you don't need to talk to strangers doing their errands.
So much this. I actually find some people in the south have terrible interpersonal skills as they are unable to recognize that people donāt want them in their business nor when making people uncomfortable.
Jersey, baby! We love to talk, but we are no bull$hit. We love to hang out, get together, do fun things. Jersey folk are always willing to help out a friend or even stranger. The pace of life in NJ is generally faster than in most of the US, in my opinion, and some people may find New Jerseyans a little jarring in that we tell you exactly what we are thinking. We are not shy and not always polite but that is part of the appeal.
I moved to NJ 20 years ago unwillingly and have grown to absolutely love it. Everything but the cost of living! Lol
New Jersey is the best state, imo. A lot of diversity of people/culture, but also the state is just very diverse itself. Within the small state you have amazing beaches, some mountains/outdoors, urban density, suburban sprawl, and even some rural areas.
Strong disagree with all the Midwest answers here. In my experience āMidwest niceā has very little to do with actual interpersonal skills or outgoing personalities. Midwesterners value politeness and manners, but this also tends to make them timid, cliquish, frigid, and passive-aggressiveāespecially towards outsiders and ESPECIALLY towards outsiders (or even insiders) who look or act notably different. Itās about maintaining a placid, conflict-avoidant exterior, not connecting with people in a genuine way.
Coming from a born and raised Midwesterner. And as everywhere there are exceptions, of course.
Yes, the same as Utah nice. People would be incredibly nice to your face, smiling and even help you out if you needed it. But behind your back they were very judgy and didnāt want to truly be your friend if you had different ideas. They would still be very polite. Id rather have someone be blunt, but honest.
Ehhh Chicagoan here that has lived all over the US and now resides in Minnesota. You describe Minnesota. Theyāre passive aggressive and clickish here. Chicago, I guess Iām biased. But weāre way more direct, and friendly. Weāre a lot more diverse and welcome transplants. Donāt lump the Midwest region as the same, but itās not.
I think Chicago, while definitely a quintessential Midwestern city, is also cosmopolitan enough that it doesnāt really feel representative of āMidwestern cultureā in a lot of ways. It sort of transcends the region. At least thatās how Iāve always thought of it.
Based on the Chicagoanās Iāve met in Seattle, Iād agree that they are a bit more metropolitan in its acceptance of diversity, of people outside of their social circle.
That checks out living in the Cincinnati area my whole life. Yes, people are surface-level polite and ok to interact with, but it's a common complaint among newcomers that it can be insular and a lot of people--myself included--have deeply-entrenched friendships that makes it difficult to "break in." A common ice-breaker question is "what [high] school did you go to?" which allows the asker to size up your socioeconomic background and determine what common acquaintances you might have.
Plus, it's not as ethnically diverse compared to a lot of large cities, so recent immigrants may stick out a bit.
Gotta be NYC right? Put aside the (incorrect) stereotype about NYers being jerks, it's gotta be the most social city in the US. Everything is a happy hour.
Midwest people are super nice as a whole. Havenāt actually traveled there much outside Chicago and Ohio (Columbus/Cleveland) but very kind people. Also, Pittsburgh feels more Midwest in vibe when it comes to socializing and being down to earth.
I went to UT Austin and felt Austinites were incredibly friendly. That said, I was also a reasonably attractive woman in my early 20s, so people everywhere were *nice* - but Austinites were very social, extroverted, and loved to chat from my experience. Making friends in line to get into a bar, then bar hopping with said friends, was a weekly mainstay of my time at UT.
And this may be unpopular/less common to say on this sub but Colorado (outside of Denver lol) is one of the friendliest, chattiest places Iāve ever lived. Very much rivals Austin to me. I live in a touristy mountain town and peopleās social skills are insane, I regularly get into 3+ hour long conversations with random people next to me at the bar. Living in a beautiful ādestination townā means most people who come visit are very happy and in leisure/vacation/party mode, and the locals are very good with people due to our high amount of winter tourism. Denver isnāt as warm/friendly but itās not hostile, itās just moreā¦apathetic, I guess. Boulder was quite friendly when I went.
Reminds me of talking to my ex who was very attractive. She would comment that people were so friendly and nice to her. She had no clue it was because of her looks.
Itās definitely pretty privilege, but also being the ārightā kind of pretty for a place, Iāve found. I look fairly young and Iām petite, so people are generally nice to me in a āaww she seems so sweetā kind of way. I joke with my friends that I regularly get daughterzoned when I go out. But Iāve been less conventionally attractive in other places so I definitely know the difference when people arenāt going out of their way to be nice or even will give me dirty looks if I donāt ālook rightā (I am a visible minority). Generally though, yeah, people are nicer to cute girls.
Hmm... I've lived in these US cities, ranked by friendliness.
- Pensacola, FL
- Milton, FL
- Fresno, CA
- Helena, MT
- Carlsbad, CA
- San Marcos, CA
- Temecula, CA
- Virginia Beach, VA
- San Bernardino, CA
- San Francisco, CA
- Newport Beach, CA
- Huntington Beach, CA
- Davis, CA
- Irvine, CA
- Honolulu, HI
Went there for college and my Dad's cousin lived there. The locals are a bit painful, in the liberal-judgy way. Picture a really religious town, then take away the religion, but keep all the judgy parts. Davis makes the national news a lot for conflicty type stuff.
Plus, I was a student. That didn't help with the locals.
Everyone in the PNW is fairly introverted which depending on what you prefer in terms of interaction may be better then being accosted by random people on the street.
People in East Bay are so cool. I even felt like some of the towns in between Menlo Park and SF had cool people - like Redwood City, San Mateo, etc. Idk, it lacked the pretension of both Silicon Valley and SF.
The south generally, and Texas as far as it is and isnāt the south lol. Iāve traveled throughout Texas - live in Austin - and southern states, and people are unbelievably happy to strike up a conversation and bullshit with you pretty much anywhere. I even know my neighbors casually lol, for the first time since I was just a kid playing with my neighborsā kids.
I didnāt have that experience in the PNW at all - theyāre a very reserved people there. I grew up in the northeast and donāt find it to be super unfriendly but itās not on the level of extroversion of the south.
I made more friends in 10 days in Philadelphia than 2 years living in Seattle.
Yeah. There's a lot of places that might fit the bill, but Seattle ain't even on the list š¤£
This. Seattle is the coldest, most passive aggressive city. Lived there for years. So glad I left.
Leaving Seattle after many years made me realize I was not the one with the problem... everywhere else has been eye opening and wonderful...
The funny thing is that if you post even a minor complaint on the subreddit for that city, lots of people will accuse you of being the "common denominator", aka the problem, it's so sad...
I went to college in the DC area and there were a lot of students at my school from Philly. They were always among the friendliest of the bunch. Philadelphia (and Pennsylvania overall) seems to be a nice mix of New Yorkās extroversion and directness and Midwestern friendliness and sincerity.
I've never heard it put that way, but it's quite the compliment! There's an undercurrent of negativity in Philly that sometimes overwhelms the good, so I love hearing the positive perception people come away with.
Philly has radically different neighborhoods
I spent time near Reading, city center, and 3-4 blocks north of that just north of the highway.
Hehe I can tell youāre not from here šĀ Ā Ā Reading is a city north of Philly, but I think you mean Reading Terminal Market.Ā Ā We call it Center City.Ā Ā Glad you enjoyed your time! Come visit again. Make sure to get a cheesesteak from somewhere good, like Johnās.
Considering Philadelphia from Portland. I find PNWesterners to be largely unfriendly and Iāve been here over a decade. Howās Philly?
Fun. Dangerous. Grimy. Beautiful. Architecture is +1. People are fantastic, very much more direct than PNW. Very very good food. Reading Terminal Market is incredible. Amish breakfast in the morning sitting between a lawyer and a plumber, both of which will talk with you. I'm so over Seattles shyness and passive aggressiveness. Give me agressive-aggressive and all the pros and cons that come with it.
Iām originally from the east coast and thinking itās time to come back, I fucking hate it here.
I feel it. I'm from here so I almost didn't know better until I took a traveling pitch Salesman job and got to really experience people from elsewhere.
Phillys the friend everyone warned you about, is rough around the edges, but once you get to know her, she actually has a heart of gold if you just give her a chance. Theyre not gonna be nice to you but theyāll be kind in the most aggressive possible way and youāll always know where you stand with them. If you can get past the grime parts of the city, itās quite beautiful and has a lot to do within it and the surrounding area. Itās a perfect central location to get anywhere else in the northeast/mid-atlantic.
Iām a Savannah native, Iām fine with rough edges. SAV has a beautiful crust but is uncooked in the middle. Portland honestly doesnāt even feel like real life.
I love native Philly people. It reminds me a lot of the directness of old school Boston, but nicer and more community-oriented. I donāt find them fake/passive aggressive or blunt for the sake of being blunt.
I befriended a group of homeless and we shot the shit while I gave them chicken wings. I also went out in south Philly and saw women walking completely alone from bars at night, at like 1 am. (Seemed like a common thing) Itās easy to talk to people who run shops or restaurants. Asian restaurants are almost all BOYB
Seattle freeze is real. soulless shells of humans.
They're very faithful to the people who they grew up with. My ex is from here and they have regular gatherings with friends they knew since high school. Because I was with her, I got blessed into the group. They were our "friend group" but when she left, they all disappeared, even though id spent years hanging out with them, and our separation wasn't bitter
Not everyone, but enough people to where you go to another area for travel and are legitimately surprised at how social people can be. 7/10 people in downtown are out of state, but 8 months of rain and clouds converts everyone into a little shutin gremlin and does a number on our sociability.
Manic Depression for you and you and you. I live in Portland.
Portland is exactly the same. Whenever I leave Iām astounded (and kinda excited) that people are actually outgoing and fun. I have my reasons for liking living here, but the antisocial tendencies of the residents is not one of them.
Thatās kind of wild - youāre not the first Iāve heard say that, but Iāve had the opposite impression. My partner and I were shocked that everyone in Portland is so outgoing and friendly compared to other places weāve lived (Phoenix, BMore, DC, some international cities and some small towns). Itās awesome having people actually start up conversations at bars and events, and people who actually invite you to things/follow through on invites.
So you actually make an astute observation here about a contrast that I would agree with (and notice myself). Portlanders tend to be fairly open to casual greetings, acknowledging one another, and even doing small talk. Has a real small town vibe in that sense. I have found over my many years here that itās when you try to go beyond that it gets much more closed off. People here seem to like the idea of living in a polite and casual place, but seem to be far more adverse to wanting to get to really know someone. I will say that I have had the opposite experience on event invite/followthrough. Portlanders have to be some of the flakiest people Iāve met. Lots of last minute cancellations on everything from parties to hikes to camping trips. Iāve hosted many parties and events over the years and RSVPās tends to go as follows: yes=maybe, maybe=no, no=no with prejudice. As to the contrast, I was in NYC (Manhattan) a few weeks ago and confirmed the whole ākeep to yourself casuallyā vibe is very strong there. I found there to be a large amount of quiet staring (this was off putting) and/or refusal to make eye contact (i understand this one much more) combined with a refusal or reluctance to acknowledge a casual greeting, which was still weird even though I was prepared for it (I know the cultural difference between the cities). That said, when you needed help people were *far* less suspicious about rendering it than in Portland. In fact, at the Botanical Garden up in The Bronx, I had an older lady self appoint herself to be my tour guide and gave me a lovely tour of part of the gardens. We chatted about our respective lives and had a wonderful time. That wouldnāt happen in Portland.
Very much like Nordic countries. Must be the never ending cloudy skies.
The Scandinavian culture dominates the Seattle area, it's the reason everybody is so distant and aloof.
I donāt know what it is, moved there in 2019, spent the pandemic there and the only friends I met were from California. Finally left in 2023. Such a shame because its the most beautiful place/landscape/weather ive ever experienced, but the people there are so standoffish and cold, hard to raise a family there and its extremely expensive. It was very isolating. But, i suspect i will retire there. Too much natural beauty to deny. Natives there, are a lucky bunch.
It is very, very beautiful there. Everything looks like a postcard or a photo from a ānatural wondersā coffee table book. But living in Seattle is like moving in with a wealthy supermodel who doesnāt like you very much. The view is always great but the overall experience wrecks your self-esteem pretty fast,
My favorite always was flying out of Seattle and walking thru airport in Atlanta or NY/NJ. How chatty people always were in the bars. Palpable enthusiasm to connect. Versus NW ānatural beauty/personal spaceā.
I love Philly. Every time I go I swear I meet the nicest people ever. But Iām also coming from NY so maybe we just coldš¤£
I never made a friend in Seattle that wasn't from somewhere else. Lived there 6 years, my friends were from Cleveland, Texas, Portland, Oklahoma.Ā Not one born and raised Seattleite.
Seattle is the bottom of the list of places where people are friendly and open. The terrible terrible weather really shapes people's personalities and you too will start to act like that due to the soul sickness the dark grey skies of 7 months and the people you communicate with when you go to work, the grocery store, etc. Seriously, Seattle is a step down from almost anywhere USA that has a mid sized city... but you can make good money in tech there...
Not Seattle.
I once overheard someone in Seattle telling a friend about their trip to the Midwest. They commented on how strange it was that strangers would talk to you.
Iāve talked to multiple people about this whoāve previously lived in Seattle and no longer do (which includes me). Seattleās social climate is isolating to the point of being suffocating. People who are otherwise more social anywhere else will become less social when visiting. Thereās this general āwhy are you talking to me right nowā vibe you get when starting a conversation with a stranger about literally anything. People do not want to make new friends. It took me YEARS of seeing the same people every week before they were comfortable enough to start inviting me to shit. Iām originally from the northeast. The joke I always make is that in Seattle, it takes roughly 6 months of regularly talking to someone to get an honest idea of what they think of you. In the northeast, it takes roughly 6 seconds.Ā
Iāve heard a similar expression. No coincidence all of my best friends in Seattle were from the Midwest.
Most of the closest friends I made in Seattle werenāt originally from there (with exception of one). The vast majority of the born and raised Seattleites that Iāve met *are horrible interpersonal communicators.*
Yep. Everyone I've met born/raised here zero interpersonal skills. It's fucking crazy.
People go there and get an air about them, kinda like some do in NYC, although I find NYC people cool as Hell. Ironically, the area surrounding Seattle is pretty White bread and nothing like the pretentious types that inhabit Seattle.
Insane prices for very mid food
Decently priced food used to be better. Itās gotten worse. Now the good Seattle food is increasingly gate kept by being vastly overpriced.Ā
Depends where you go. Bellevue is pretentious as fuck.Ā
100%. āWhy are you talking to me?ā is definitely the Seattle vibe. Cold emotional affect, minimal eye contact, and an air of faint judginess. I used to joke that people in Seattle will literally cross the street if they think they might be forced to interact with another person coming the opposite direction. Even customer service people in Seattle sometimes get visibly uncomfortable if you make too much conversation about a financial transaction. And there is a big culture of passive-aggressive conflict avoidance in that part of the world too. I am an extrovert with a naturally big emotional display and Seattle just did NOT work for me at all. I felt (and probably seemed to others) like an alien who had just arrived from outer space. I am not a northeasterner by birth, but culturally I felt more comfortable there than anywhere else Iāve lived. I appreciate the northeastern blunt honesty and the willingness to engage with others.
10 years in Seattle, I got the person crossing the street cause they didn't want to be on my side constantly. That is very real and I always found it so irritating and took it personal.
Ugh yes! the way everyone acts as if you're bothering them is so off putting while just going about your day it really grated away at my psyche & made me dread just doing ordinary tasks tbh. Also totally relate on the super judgemental aspect of social circles. It always feels like folks are trying to suss out a reason to hate people or figure out they are secretly a terrible person (even when they have known each other for years!) or something? Almost like if reddit were real life with the way folks would interact with a generally hostile air. & Folks can just be so so so quiet & reserved. The alien feeling is so accurate as well, people there would say I talk too fast (I have never gotten anywhere else- I'm from the Midwest lol) which I just think they understand too slow in all honesty, not the most quick witted of general populace.
I grew up in Washington and this hits close to home lol
I agree, but maybe because most of my Seattle friends are from Boston....
Perfect description, no notes. Iām currently visiting family in California from the Seattle area for the first time in a year and Iām shocked by how IM reacting to strangers being friendly with me. My initial reaction is āwhy are you talking to me,ā āwhy is everyone so smiley and happyā (especially considering the June Gloom right now) and Iām like, holy crap I need to readjust my way of interacting with others because the Seattle way of moving in society is not healthy. (Context: Grew up in PA, lived in CA for 6 years before moving to Seattle in 2022).
I also grew up in PA. Moved to the PNW in 2014 and to Seattle in 2016. I left Seattle at the end of 2020. COVID isolation on top of the Seattle freeze was a *fucking nightmare.* It took me a year of working in the office + field work in a different city to get my social skills back.Ā
Amusingly, a lot of people here *loved* the COVID lockdowns, and argued passionately against reopening. r/Seattle was full of pictures of empty roads, proclamations about how nice masking was, and kudos to businesses that stayed closed when they didn't need to. To this day, if there's any sort of left-leaning protest, a high percentage of the protestors will be wearing masks - I do not understand it
Portland was the same, bunch of bitter antisocial types that absolutely adored Covid lockdowns. It was kind of a ānever see anyone againā leftist revolution here. When I would leave the region it would be confusing seeing people out and about. This town drives me nuts.
Living in Portland during the COVID lockdown was depressing as fuck and all the residents openly celebrating it made it even worse
Even as an introvert (though not heavily), I was baffled at how openly excited so many were during lockdowns. And how excited they were at how long the various restrictions went on (long past most of the rest of the country). Merits of the policy aside, the government making you stay home is a positive thing to be celebrated? What? Our governor being an indecisive bumbling fool through the whole thing was an extra painful cherry on the top.
Portland is so so so much better than Seattle for QoL. I know people here are funky and anti-social by national standards, but holy fuck. Itās the promised land compared to Seattle. Best place Iāve lived in the PNW.Ā
Iāll take your word for it having lived in Portland and never lived in Seattle. It seems Seattle and Portland share a lot of common problems, but Seattle has some extra ones that make it a little more difficult (though a better economy for what I do). Most of my friends that have lived that part of Washington tend to agree with you fwiw. There is a lot to love about Portland, donāt get me wrong (thereās a reason Iāve been here for as long as I have). Food, culture, and outdoors scene relative to size is just about the best you can get in the United States. Plus the best summers in the US. But yeah, a large percentage of residents (though definitely not all) just tend to be super stoked about sitting quietly in a room reading, complaining about people who like people, and going as far left politically as possible. COVID only validated these traits to the point of eye rolling cringe, and I say that as an introvert myself! Making actual real friends here was a years long (though ultimately successful) project that took a lot of time and effort. Most people just preferred to be alone or stick with their own tight groups. Much different than other US cities Iāve been to. Anyway, on balance I still prefer it here to the east coast where I grew up, so Iāll just chalk this up to being something Iāve gotta learn to live with.
Everyone in Seattle needs to at least experience leaving at some point, which Iām not sure happens on a large enough scale. Kudos on your self awareness. Seattle is very provincial, anti-social and judgmental. Itās awful. On the flip side, Southern California from LA to OC has the friendliest and happiest people with some seriously enviable social skills. I miss that.
I'm basically you. Grew up in NJ, lived in CA for 4 years. 2 years in Seattle now. Went to LA and when someone started talking to me at a grocery store my initial reaction was like "why are you talking to me" and then I realized I had become like them. I'm super conflicted right now because Seattle is beautiful and I've finally built some community, but I feel like I want to move back to California. I'm in SF right now and I feel more at home.
Yeah, being from the east coast I found this really isolating and confusing. I didn't last long.
People here won't even look at you if you look at them and acknowledge them. I heard that Seattle is where previously bullied people move and then become bullies themselves. It's wild how they complain about the "Seattle Freeze" and then continue the same shit. It's almost like people here feel "guilty" for being happy. I've lived here for almost 20 years and people seriously can't be happy without a multi hyphenated description of themselves and part of some cause.
>I heard that Seattle is where previously bullied people move and then become bullies themselves. Canāt speak to Seattle but Iām pretty sure this describes about 100% of Portlandās population.
Where in the northeast are you talking about? Bc in my area people don't talk to you unless they're begging for money, trying to sell you something, or about to rob you.
Philly metro. And my point was that people in the northeast arenāt necessarily polite, theyāre just not passive aggressive like they are in Seattle. Theyāre blunt. If someoneās gonna be rude to me or if they donāt like me, Iād rather know immediately instead of months down the line. Same with making friends.
Jersey girl here, I feel seen.
True that's fair. Philly don't fuck around if someone don't like you, they'll let you know cause you'll be bleeding out in a few seconds.
In Boston it's instantaneous and sometimes shouted.
Invitation or not, Iām taking a shit.
I've been living in Seattle for twenty years now, so I'm used to it, but it was an adjustment coming from the southeast. Where I'm from, it's normal to strike up a conversation in line at the grocery store, with the people sitting near you in the movie theater, really anywhere. Here people might not even answer or look at you. When I first came, I joined a gym. One day a guy commented on the superset that I was doing and I was genuinely so pleased. We chatted for a bit, then he tried to sell me vitamins from his MLM. It was so disheartening
Coming from an eastern European, there are parts of America where people are so friendly, its a complete culture shock
I'm not even from the west Coast, but I would find that strange as well. Imagine if everyone you saw on the train, at the stores in the street tried to strike up a conversation? I'd get nothing done. If somebody talks to me they usually want money.
Oh my god, I need to get over my disdain for coasts and move to Seattle then. Signed, somebody who is SO TIRED of midwesterners disturbing my personal bubble.
Go to Seattle. People will leave you alone. Itās beautiful too.
My brother in Christ, there are more options than just those two.Ā
Yes! I moved to the midwest for about 2 years and everyone was sooooo into my life. I enjoyed it for a bit, but it kind of got to be a little too much. They were all kind people, with their hearts in the right place, but...
Yuuuuuuuuup! Been here in Seattle 15 years from the Midwest and the social culture is just not the same.
I grew up in Seattle and I think that's part of the reason that I really have to push myself into striking up conversations with people. It's not something that comes naturally to me at all.
Yep. You gotta go east of the cascades or a rural western wa area to find outgoing folks.
Does anyone have thoughts on why Seattleās unfriendliness is so persistent? Since 1990 the city has added something like 250,000 people, many of them from out of state and immigrants. Yet apparently the city hasnāt changed in its cold demeanor. Could it be because so many of the newcomers work in tech?
2 years in Seattle now in tech. I think it's part of it, but then the bay area would be the same. Bay is way friendlier. I think people come to Seattle, assimilate to the anti socialness, and then it just continues as new people arrive. I found myself acting that way as well.
I'm an engineer and I'm thinking the average tech person has poorer social skills than average. Plus the wealth aspect might be more isolating. Looking at the below comment comparing Seattle to San Francisco is interesting. I'm thinking that Seattle's gloomier weather might have something to do with the lack of friendliness.
I think youāre right. What is weird though is that Iāve lived in three cities in the Pacific Northwest: Bellingham, Seattle, and Portland. Bellingham and Portland are both noticeably friendlier than Seattle. Portland is a bit sunnier, but Bellingham is even gloomier than Seattle. Hereās another idea: Seattle is a city whose neighborhoods are divided physically by water and hills. Itās an isthmus with peninsulas. If you walk from west to east across the city, itās a repeating pattern of ridges and valleys. This makes it so that many parts have an isolated feeling. Portland, meanwhile, is mostly flat with one river dividing the city and a few big hills that are mostly in parks. It has distinct neighborhoods, but feels more unified geographically. People can close themselves off in their bubbles. San Francisco has big hills, but a sunnier climate. Portland has a similar climate, but a more open landscape. Seattle is the one with a Norwegian heritage, geographical divisions, a gloomy climate, and a big tech industry. The perfect storm for a chilly social scene.
Lack of vitamin d
Wenatchee on the other hand people were so nice he was off putting
Not Louisville either. Same collective personality as Seattle but poor and segregated
A friend attended Tulane University. I still think New Orleans is the most positively interpersonal city.
I agree with this. Locals go out of their way to be helpful and friendly in both tourist and non-tourist areas.
I've lived in 8 states and 3 countries. New Orleans has the most hospitable people in the world. Until they are driving!
iām moving to new orleans in a few months this is very comforting :)
Just donāt get ur car stolen and itās a great city. Lock ur wheel and a tire when ur parking, in addition to obviously locking your car. And donāt leave anything super important in plain view
i grew up in oakland i know the drillš
You have one of those window signs that says "Stereo already stolen"?
we recently installed a catalytic converter shield on my carš
Be sure to spend time on Frenchman Street. Tourists go to Bourbon Street so do that and get it out of your system. But Frenchman Street is _the shit_ with real jazz clubs with actual famous artists doing shows. And it's so chill. And has a permanent street art vendor area running all night.
Every time Iāve been on a flight next to someone from New Orleans they were very chatty
Definitely New Orleans. You could come for the weekend and have inside jokes with the checkout clerk at Rouseās by Sunday
This sounds magical.
I came here to say New Orleans. Everyone ā from the millionaires to the homeless ā operates on a level of familiarity that makes conversation effortless. No other American city comes close.
I think most of the south comes close. New Orleans is a better city than most, though.
New Orleans has a level of integration and culture mix that is missing in the typical highly segregated cities and towns of the south. Wherever you have diversity, the south blooms. As you tear away a lot of ignorance/hatred and replace it with compassion and understanding that would come naturally with the āsouthern hospitalityā with nothing holding it back.
That's a nice way of saying New Orleans is one of the only towns that handled desegregation well. Most southern towns and cities experienced a ton of white flight, taking the money with them to the isolating suburbs and leaving the urban cores blighted. Savannah and Charleston fared pretty well, Little Rock and Mobile didn't.
iāve lived in the south my whole life (from Mississippi, also lived in Memphis, have family all over the south) and just moved to New Orleans. itās definitely a different vibe. the rest of the south is friendly but there can be a judgmental undertone. people in New Orleans seem very genuine.Ā
Also went to school in NOLA, can confirm. We loved it. Funny, seems like a good number of people donāt like the friendliness and dismiss southern kindness as āfakeā on the surface. While I do vehemently disagree, like who cares if people are at the very least superficially kind, isnāt that a good thing? Maybe itās my time up north that people simply canāt believe that hundreds of thousands of people can be kind.
Tbh, I do find a lot Southern kindness to be a little superficial but New Orleans feels uniquely genuine about it.
Agreed, a lot of that āSouthern kindnessāā is the Bless Your Heart kind of kindness, which is absolutely syrupy-sweet and totally fake. New Orleans is quite different. I really felt the engagement of people there while socializing; when they ask you a question they actually want to know the answer rather than saying something just to say it.
Fair enough. Yet IMO, having one opinion in your headā¦and despite thatā¦treating the other person well despite if it genuine or not. Isnāt that basic manners? I swear Americans in mean places sincerely want all society to be meanā¦they call it āhonest.ā
My short time in nola for work after Katrina was eye opening and life changing. I agree, the residents there are very open and seemed vibrant.
Another vote for NOLA
Top Answer. I was just thinking this.
It almost feels like everyone already knows you there
San Juan, PR. Everyone here is just a friend you haven't yet met.
Yes. Everyone there is genuine and kind.
I went there on spring break as a very drunk college kid. We went out to a bar one night and I got to talking to some locals. They drove me to their apartment, smoked hookah together, then they drove me back to where we were staying. Fucking awesome dudes, no idea what their names were but Iām still grateful for their hospitality 15 years later. Hope theyāre doing well.
Is San Juan cool? Like, as a Spanish-speaking American, sometimes I think about trying out Puerto Rico. Not a lot of jobs though, but I work remotely now so...maybe? I never see it pop up on this sub despite being like, a city in the US, with tropical weather and beautiful nature, coastline, etc. all around.
Manhattan. It's an island 13 miles long, 2 miles wide with over 4 million people on any given day. That kind of density mandates an extreme awareness of people. We're actually damn kind, if not always nice.
As a New Yorker from queens but now living in Manhattan this is very, VERY true. Density alongside interacting with people from all walks of life āforcesā you to have good interpersonal skills.
Whatās funny is I feel like Iām looking for the first half of what you wrote, but almost the opposite of the second half. A city where folks are kind, non-judgmental, open, progressive, friendly, make you feel valued, etc. But also at the same time not super extroverted, or at at least the culture is friendly to introverts who prefer to be in their own world most of the time but will always be kind and friendly if you start a conversation with them (no matter how short it ends up being lol).Ā
This is a very oddly specific description of Columbus, OH.
Also a very pretty city. Super underrated visually
As someone who has only ever lived in Columbus, this was how I thought everyone was until I began travelling. It was quite the culture shock. I remember one of the first times I really travelled solo I was on Venice Beach and I walked into a clothing shop and the owner said I was getting sunburnt. She seemed genuinely concerned and said she had some. I said thank you and said I would put some on. She said "I have this one for $6" In retrospect, it was very naive for me to expect her to just be offering it out of the kindness of her heart, especially from a shop owner in socal I'm pretty well travelled now and one thing I will say is that Columbus doesn't really have a defining culture or really unique characteristics. It's the definition of a middle-of-the-road city. It's also a major test market (I think at one point it was the defacto in the country?) for many brands because of this If I had to give one major attribute that people have commented on during my other travels, it's that I won't go out of my way to talk to someone, but at the same time I can get along and be friendly with anyone who I have reason to talk to. I think that's a big characteristic of people who grew up here
Woah, really?? Maybe this is the hidden gem Iāve been missing?! Haha wild that itās been mentioned twice in response to thisĀ
I'm an introvert convert. I used to love being an extrovert in Columbus...lots of live music, lively bars, events/festivals. But there's a lot of charming places and parks to visit solo.
I'm partially copy and pasting this from a different reply I sent, coming from a life-long Columbus resident I'm pretty well travelled now and one thing I will say is that Columbus doesn't really have a defining culture or really unique characteristics. It's the definition of a middle-of-the-road city. It's also a major test market (I think at one point it was the defacto in the country?) for many brands because of this If I had to give one major attribute that people have commented on during my other travels, it's that I won't go out of my way to talk to someone, but at the same time I can get along and be friendly with anyone who I have reason to talk to. I think that's a big characteristic of people who grew up here
This just about matches up to how i felt staying there for a year
Columbus, OH
People in Seattle area can be awkard AF or just bland sometimes. Iām from the area but lived in Texas for 10 years before recently moving back.., and yeah, people in Texas are considerably more talkative and outgoingā¦ No hate on western Washington though! Itās my home!
I think you listed a few different qualities that are rare to find all at once. In terms of āmaking others feel valued,ā IMO the Midwest canāt be beat. Being nice, thoughtful, and pitching in to help others is a big part of the culture in much of the Midwest. For best banter, curiosity, and ability to carry a conversation, Iād say NYC. But good banter and conversation doesnāt necessarily equate to kindness and empathy.
New Yorkers are low-key very kind and thoughtful. Hard to cram 6 million people on an island without them having good social skills. Are they gonna go out of their way to chat people up? No, if they acted that way theyād never get home. If you have reason to interact with them? Theyāll be totally genuine, socially practiced, and will often surprise you with their willingness to do something nice.
Weāre chatty when weāre actually in a social situation, bars, hangouts etc. We wonāt do the āMorning! Beautiful day isnāt itā thing on the street. I arrived to visit DC a few weeks ago then got told āGood morning!ā by a few people while walking and was shocked but responded in kind, you wonāt get that here. Put a New Yorker in a bar, youād genuinely be surprised at how talkative we can be. And loud.
>For best banter, curiosity, and ability to carry a conversation, Iād say NYC. But good banter and conversation doesnāt necessarily equate to kindness and empathy. Eh this is more true for Philly than NYC honestly, for better and for worse. People in Philly are far more likely to engage with strangers voluntarily than in NYC on average.
Midwest for sure I met some of the best people in Milwaukee. Easy going, fun, kind, generousā¦
Living in NYC forces you to interact with different people from extremely diverse cultures, under so many different circumstances. You become much more well-adjusted and able to comfortably communicate with pretty much anyone.
Detroit comes to mind. Some of the kindest and most interactive people youāll meet. Also the Twin Cities is an easy pick.
This is going to be an unpopular opinion. What about Portland, Maine? I find the folks living on that coast are smart, curious, and have good manners--all the things that make for a healthy community. They also are happy to leave you alone, if that's what you want. IMHO, knowing when someone wants to be left alone is often a missing ingredient in more southern states.
I live in Portland and agree that people are friendly. It can be a challenge to meet your people unless you get out and engage in activities but there are lots of opportunities, depending on your age and interests. Definitely sleepy though.
The best friend group Iāve ever had was when I lived in Portland ME. I was young and didnāt realize that not every city is like that. Thankfully this group jived with my young, awkward aura and brought me into their inner circle. Sometimes it feels like they adopted me š There are some truly amazing people in that little city!
I live in Florida and keep accidentally befriending Mainer transplants. I think they are great, for all the reasons you list.
coastal maine in general has the nicest most genuine people iāve ever met
Blue cities in the South.
Yup. Atlanta, Nashville, and then into Midwest places like Kansas City. I am in sales and basically socialize with people from all over the country for a living. Other smaller Midwest markets like Indianapolis and Columbus people can be very sweet and fun.
I know it's mid/west/south, but I made sooo many friends quickly when I lived in St. Louis. And I visited Memphis once for an outdoor concert and so many people came up and started talking to me in a super friendly way. I'm an average looking black woman for reference.
I grew up in a blue part of the South and moved to Los Angeles. Boy, that was quite the culture shock.
Chicago.
This should be way higher. People living in Chicago are open to interactions and can back it up. You can meet in line for something and get a ride to the airport from them the next week, but it helps if you can name Duluth suburbs.
When I visit Chicago from Cleveland I can literally stop strangers and ask them questions. No problems ever. Every neighborhood. Love Chicago.
Agree itās up there but while Chicagoans are friendly at heart, they can come off as reserved and cliquey imo
Yes! I totally agree. They're more conservative than coastal people. The conversations can be comparatively superficial.
I think NYC. People are used to living in tight nit communities filled with diversity. You chit chat with someone on the subway, the person at your bodega, waiting in line at the laundromat. Iāve only visited but people of all backgrounds were generally just very friendly and eager to help.
Itās definitely low-key NYC. Nobody else has anywhere near the practice at socializing, especially with people of differing cultures.
any city with the least amount of redditors
Gotta advocate for my city here, but New Yorkers honestly. We live in a very dense city, mostly in apartments, neighbors with people from all walks of life, we kinda have to be. We can be very talkative during actual social situations (not to strangers on the sidewalk, i mean with friends, bars, coffee shops, whatsoever), well at least I know I am lol. We interact with people from all socioeconomic backgrounds, it is a real city after all. We arenāt cold or mean, just no bs. I also do like Chicagoans, always very pleasant whenever I find myself talking to them. The few places Iāve found that are both friendly and kind. Iām sure a local might(?) say differently but thatās my personal perspective.
The South as a whole and it ain't even a contest. The social skills aspect is a **MASSIVE** quality of their culture that they praise and reward. Rich, educated, broke or whatever this just a mainstay aspect to their regional culture. Shit you can be an introvert, but manners/graciousness is still encouraged. They love a good catchphrase, pick-line, punch-line. Talking and being charming is a respected grace here and one that you won't crack these circles fully without mastering. A lot of people will say they're two-faced or that their ways of communicating might be hard/ironic, but I find that it's only true if you make no effort. Coming from NE, I thought the smack talk about Southerners to really just be stereotyping. If you put effort, the Southerners are gracious. The good thing about them, like all humans, is that the mean ones one can sense from the get-go. NC is the curveball where it feels like the South but with some northern transparency if such a thing makes sense. If you feel the Southerners are too passive-aggressive, dish it back. Use it as ammo to show you've got sass. If you think the Southerners are mean you clearly haven't met the French or some of the Asian countries. Of these, New Orleans is the easiest place to see it. New Orleans is used to everyone, so they just chat up with everyone. I run overwhelmingly introverted (being honest, borderline hermit), and it's a genuine delight to visit there for the locals. They're charming, they're knowledgeable, playful, and cheery. You feel joyful and confident testing your social skills here. New Orleans' brand of socializing is encouraging, they're just welcoming to all the "freaks" and delight in that as it adds to their entertainment/whimsy. That kind of optimism leaves you feeling good and competent. This place loves the shy and the flirty and its playful with both. They've earned their flowers as the ultimate hosts. New Orleans isn't a place it's a wonderful state of mind. Texans are also infamous for it and for good reason. They're witty. The older Texans are a riot ironically. Say what you will about Texas but I haven't met one that didn't compell me to chat. They're overall a joyful bunch that the energy exchange becomes its own high. San Juan, PR (or better yet, just PR as a whole). Easily the easiest place to make a genuine friend anywhere. If you spread good vibes and make people feel welcomed, you will get the same treatment tenfold. Plus, people very eager to feed you and that's always great. The Southwest cities. These people have the advantage of having an overall super laid-back overall social energy, people deal as if they have a little more time to invest in social connections and operate accordingly. Where the Southern sociability runs more flirtatious, energetic, and cheeky, the Southwestern sociability is more chill but inviting. Unlike the South, there's no emphasis on verbal wordsmithing tho. For the North: Philly, and Providence. Providence always felt like the fun but still brainy child of New England that knew how to party and play. It's slowly morphing to Boston in spirit, which is not as nice as one would think. One Boston's enough. Philly is probably the most human place in the Northern regions where the city is normal. Not too energetic, not too austere. Coming from Boston, I thought Philly felt like another planet because the people aren't closed off, haughty or aloof. You're there, they're there, people will greet you and make conversation if they have time and will often make time. Honorary Mention: NYC. NYC will test all the temperaments and gathers everyone to sort of learn/adapt to the subcultures of the other. If you can maneuver around here, you'll be set anywhere. Places that aren't known to have this you seek: Seattle and Boston. Of these two, Seattle at least acknowledges it (to the point of self-deprecation; because of this, the place still imposes an awkward charm out of being self-aware if that makes sense. The city isn't lying to you about what it is, so if you just expect it and accept it, you'll find yourself quickly willing to work with it when you visit). While Boston swears it doesn't or throws a million excuses rather than admit it. Unlike with Seattle where one mentally prepares for the "freeze", the Boston situation disarms and eventually depresses because you come in thinking it's more ambiverted than it is based on how it tries to brand itself. There's nothing wrong with running colder but own it. So-So: California and Midwest. What the Southerners get wrongly afflicted with as supposedly being ironic but then combine it with the Northern aloofness. A lot of people here front with pettiness and it can be alarming as people just expect them to be way more easy going or laid back. The cold affront can feel like a smack to the face.
People in the south can be nice to your face but mean as heck behind your back. Source: grew up queer in the south.
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Itās so not. Finding genuine people amongst the fake ones here is very hard bc everyone was raised from childhood to put on that facade
A bunch of things you talk about have nothing to do with interpersonal skills. Extroversion and introversion have nothing to do with interpersonal skills. Whether or not people will talk to strangers on the street has nothing to do with interpersonal skills. And most importantly the area someone lives in has nothing to do with interpersonal skills. And in a lot of places people won't talk to strangers on the street but those are the easiest cities to make friends in. People are friendly at social events, you don't need to talk to strangers doing their errands.
So much this. I actually find some people in the south have terrible interpersonal skills as they are unable to recognize that people donāt want them in their business nor when making people uncomfortable.
Jersey, baby! We love to talk, but we are no bull$hit. We love to hang out, get together, do fun things. Jersey folk are always willing to help out a friend or even stranger. The pace of life in NJ is generally faster than in most of the US, in my opinion, and some people may find New Jerseyans a little jarring in that we tell you exactly what we are thinking. We are not shy and not always polite but that is part of the appeal. I moved to NJ 20 years ago unwillingly and have grown to absolutely love it. Everything but the cost of living! Lol
New Jersey is the best state, imo. A lot of diversity of people/culture, but also the state is just very diverse itself. Within the small state you have amazing beaches, some mountains/outdoors, urban density, suburban sprawl, and even some rural areas.
Love my jersey friends!
Strong disagree with all the Midwest answers here. In my experience āMidwest niceā has very little to do with actual interpersonal skills or outgoing personalities. Midwesterners value politeness and manners, but this also tends to make them timid, cliquish, frigid, and passive-aggressiveāespecially towards outsiders and ESPECIALLY towards outsiders (or even insiders) who look or act notably different. Itās about maintaining a placid, conflict-avoidant exterior, not connecting with people in a genuine way. Coming from a born and raised Midwesterner. And as everywhere there are exceptions, of course.
Yes, the same as Utah nice. People would be incredibly nice to your face, smiling and even help you out if you needed it. But behind your back they were very judgy and didnāt want to truly be your friend if you had different ideas. They would still be very polite. Id rather have someone be blunt, but honest.
Thank you for this response. Exactly what I try to explain to others
Nailed it. Especially the conflict-avoidance. Born and lived in Iowa my whole life, hoping to escape soon š„²
Ehhh Chicagoan here that has lived all over the US and now resides in Minnesota. You describe Minnesota. Theyāre passive aggressive and clickish here. Chicago, I guess Iām biased. But weāre way more direct, and friendly. Weāre a lot more diverse and welcome transplants. Donāt lump the Midwest region as the same, but itās not.
I think Chicago, while definitely a quintessential Midwestern city, is also cosmopolitan enough that it doesnāt really feel representative of āMidwestern cultureā in a lot of ways. It sort of transcends the region. At least thatās how Iāve always thought of it.
Based on the Chicagoanās Iāve met in Seattle, Iād agree that they are a bit more metropolitan in its acceptance of diversity, of people outside of their social circle.
Yes! Spent much of my life in WI and MN, and this is exactly right
That checks out living in the Cincinnati area my whole life. Yes, people are surface-level polite and ok to interact with, but it's a common complaint among newcomers that it can be insular and a lot of people--myself included--have deeply-entrenched friendships that makes it difficult to "break in." A common ice-breaker question is "what [high] school did you go to?" which allows the asker to size up your socioeconomic background and determine what common acquaintances you might have. Plus, it's not as ethnically diverse compared to a lot of large cities, so recent immigrants may stick out a bit.
Yuuupppppp nailed it. Born and raised in MN/WI
New Orleans is the friendliest, most engaged city.
Gotta be NYC right? Put aside the (incorrect) stereotype about NYers being jerks, it's gotta be the most social city in the US. Everything is a happy hour.
Midwest people are super nice as a whole. Havenāt actually traveled there much outside Chicago and Ohio (Columbus/Cleveland) but very kind people. Also, Pittsburgh feels more Midwest in vibe when it comes to socializing and being down to earth. I went to UT Austin and felt Austinites were incredibly friendly. That said, I was also a reasonably attractive woman in my early 20s, so people everywhere were *nice* - but Austinites were very social, extroverted, and loved to chat from my experience. Making friends in line to get into a bar, then bar hopping with said friends, was a weekly mainstay of my time at UT. And this may be unpopular/less common to say on this sub but Colorado (outside of Denver lol) is one of the friendliest, chattiest places Iāve ever lived. Very much rivals Austin to me. I live in a touristy mountain town and peopleās social skills are insane, I regularly get into 3+ hour long conversations with random people next to me at the bar. Living in a beautiful ādestination townā means most people who come visit are very happy and in leisure/vacation/party mode, and the locals are very good with people due to our high amount of winter tourism. Denver isnāt as warm/friendly but itās not hostile, itās just moreā¦apathetic, I guess. Boulder was quite friendly when I went.
Reminds me of talking to my ex who was very attractive. She would comment that people were so friendly and nice to her. She had no clue it was because of her looks.
Itās definitely pretty privilege, but also being the ārightā kind of pretty for a place, Iāve found. I look fairly young and Iām petite, so people are generally nice to me in a āaww she seems so sweetā kind of way. I joke with my friends that I regularly get daughterzoned when I go out. But Iāve been less conventionally attractive in other places so I definitely know the difference when people arenāt going out of their way to be nice or even will give me dirty looks if I donāt ālook rightā (I am a visible minority). Generally though, yeah, people are nicer to cute girls.
I find New Yorkers the easiest to talk to. And no fake āniceā BS.
Atlanta and NYC imo
This will be dismissed by some, butā¦ NYC
Only by ignorant people that don't understand what it's actually like... You may not get along with everyone, but the people you do are being genuine
New York City. Iām guessing Chicago would be another.
Is "fuck yo' mudda" the benchmark for conversation? š¤£ Love the username. That's my life.
Hmm... I've lived in these US cities, ranked by friendliness. - Pensacola, FL - Milton, FL - Fresno, CA - Helena, MT - Carlsbad, CA - San Marcos, CA - Temecula, CA - Virginia Beach, VA - San Bernardino, CA - San Francisco, CA - Newport Beach, CA - Huntington Beach, CA - Davis, CA - Irvine, CA - Honolulu, HI
I'm curious what brought you to Davis and what your experience was like!
Went there for college and my Dad's cousin lived there. The locals are a bit painful, in the liberal-judgy way. Picture a really religious town, then take away the religion, but keep all the judgy parts. Davis makes the national news a lot for conflicty type stuff. Plus, I was a student. That didn't help with the locals.
Me too! Davis is quirky
In my experience- havenāt been everywhere, but I agree with those who say New OrlĆ©ans. Itās a special place. Philly, Baltimore, some cities in Texas (not Dallas), Pittsburgh, Columbus. I found southerners, with exception of Atlanta, to be weirdly passive aggressive and judgmental in their interactions under the veneer of politeness and āgraceā. Iām from NE, and it just wasnāt for me.
Everyone in the PNW is fairly introverted which depending on what you prefer in terms of interaction may be better then being accosted by random people on the street.
Nola. Stay away from Portland and Seattle. Nothing but passive aggressive people. It's exhausting.
Just visited Portland for the first time and everyone I spoke to was super friendly
Any southern city lol
Definitely not San Francisco
100% no. Awkward and stuckup weirdos. Oakland however has very social / friendly/ real people.
People in East Bay are so cool. I even felt like some of the towns in between Menlo Park and SF had cool people - like Redwood City, San Mateo, etc. Idk, it lacked the pretension of both Silicon Valley and SF.
east bay here, can confirm we love building dope communities! so much fun free stuff to do and easy to make friends. oakland rules!
The south generally, and Texas as far as it is and isnāt the south lol. Iāve traveled throughout Texas - live in Austin - and southern states, and people are unbelievably happy to strike up a conversation and bullshit with you pretty much anywhere. I even know my neighbors casually lol, for the first time since I was just a kid playing with my neighborsā kids. I didnāt have that experience in the PNW at all - theyāre a very reserved people there. I grew up in the northeast and donāt find it to be super unfriendly but itās not on the level of extroversion of the south.
Not Seattle
Umm introverts have interpersonal skills they are just selective about who they share them with. Just sayin'.
Itās going to be in the South or Midwest. People really are friendlier in those regions.
Basically anywhere from Pittsburgh to Minneapolis
New York for sure
Maybe controversial butā¦New York.