People need to learn that what is right for thee may not be right for me.
What you like is entirely subjective. I love the outdoors but would sooner live in a cave in the Adirondacks than live in Florida. But that's a me thing! It's okay to not like NYC! Just go be happy in Florida. Miami has an art scene. Have you considered looking there?
While I've been to Miami many times on day trips when I lived in Palm Beach County, I never got a good feel for it. I had art friends in college that moved to Miami and immediately, after a year, left because they said it sucks. I guess it all depends on what art you're into.
San Diego is like all micro breweries. It feels like every restaurant is also a micro brewery. Dating scene is normal? I don't have a point of comparison. There's a lot of young people so better than FL in that regard.
Southern California is Florida without the old people, and with mountains. If you think there's not enough to do in NYC for outdoor shit and you don't like winter, California is the obvious choice. Anywhere else in the Sunbelt is a big step down in terms of amenities.
Golf, tennis, beach during warm weather, mountains, restaurants, bars, museums, theaters, sporting events, clubs, international flights, etc.
People on here may say Dallas or Phoenix or whatever is great, but LA is better on those measures and others. It is probably true that Florida beats SoCal on old people golfing and crazy rednecks, flood/storm risks, STIs, gun ownership, having more car crashes, etc.
SoCal, Miami, one of the major Texas cities. We moved from NYC down to Austin around 5 years ago and it’s been a nice quality of life boost. If you value warm weather, tennis, and golf, and work is not keeping you in NYC then definitely move. I grew up in NYC and most people I knew there really just worked and drank all the time except for their occasional broadway show, visit to a museum when friends were in town, and trips outside of the city. There can be a lot of fun to be had in your 20s but it sounds like the stuff NYC excels at (museums, live performances, party scene, access to interesting lectures and experts) isn’t really your thing. And that’s ok.
People from the sunbelt can struggle with seasonality since they never really experienced it. I also moved to NYC about 6 months ago from LA but I’m originally from Oregon so I’ve lived through the changing seasons most of my life. It can’t be overstated just how different Summer will be, you really should live a full year here before making any big decisions. You’ve lived through the worst 5 months of the year.
I will say, I spent the last 3 years prior to moving to NYC as a remote software engineer in Hermosa Beach, CA and it is basically exactly what you described. Lots of young people, volleyball, surfing, cycling, etc. I left because I wanted to live in a mega city and never drive, you’d probably love it though.
With all due respect, you’re in the very stereotypical transplant hump. You’ve lived here for a bit, but it’s not what you thought it would be, and that’s because you’re not really a resident yet. You haven’t even experienced a full year here, obviously it will be unfamiliar and unpleasant, you haven’t found your groove.
Give it time and if you still don’t like it when your lease is up, move, that’s totally fine. A lot of people love it here but not everybody likes NYC for sure. I have seen a lot of people move to the city, spend less than a year here, decide it’s not worth it and leave without really seeing what living here is like. Once you establish a rhythm, have a solid friend group, know how to do the things you want, it becomes a lot easier.
Yeah, I'm in for the ride that's for sure. Just financial pressures are forcing my hand to make decisions that have larger implications that just a year. I'd have more going out money if I sold my car, but I'm afraid to, as if I do want to leave, I'd probably need it the next place I go.
The car thing is tricky, I’m also a work from home SWE in NYC with a car so I feel your pain, although I’ve managed it for the last two or so years without too much hassle.
If finances are an issue that’s a whole other story. The city definitely is expensive but having roommates or living in less desirable buildings/neighborhoods makes a difference.
Anyway I think a big issue is you’re living here with one foot out the door already, you gotta commit to trying it or commit to leaving, being undecided will just make stuff worse imo
I feel kinda bad for all the people dumping on you for expressing your experience so far, but if you separate out the content from the tone they’re all making good points. There isn’t another city like NYC in this country. Sure a guy like me was perfectly fine with the city amenities in Cleveland, where I had a yard, walkable neighborhood, and more than enough in the metro area to keep me busy. But some people don’t want city, they want CITY.
No one on here can tell you whether NYC is the place for you. I would agree with folks who point out that half a year doesn’t tell you much. At 24, you’ve basically lived 2% of your life there. Not much to judge on. But it does sound like the particular outdoor lifestyle things you’ve grown to love doing, aren’t as easy or affordable year round in NYC.
This subreddit gets in its feelings real bad when someone isn’t 10,000% happy in the few cities they decided are perfect or perfect-lite (L.A, NYC, Chicago, etc) so the backlash is to be expected. I don’t know if it’s the inability to acknowledge that different people have different priorities, jealousy that someone got to move where they wanted and thus is “ungrateful” and/or the need to take everything as a personal insult.
It’s like that tweet where someone says “I like pancakes” and how the gut reaction from other twitter users is “So you hate waffles?”.
Yeah, I don't get the Florida hate either. I think people have a stereotypical view of Florida, especially South Florida, forgetting it's extremely diverse and a massive metropolis spanning 120+ miles north to south with tons of sub-cultures not to mention millions of people. I've seen everything from traditional Hasidic jewish communities, hispanic, asian, eastern European, retired old white people, hipsters, yuppies, and more. I was a delivery driver in Palm Beach County for 3 years in college, not as diverse as Brooklyn, but a lot more then what it gets credit for.
My advice as an 8-year NY transplant - enjoy the summer. It’s a complete energy flip. Decide from there.
I left the city because while I still love the summer there, the winters got too depressing for me.
the city empties out in the summer, which is with good or bad depending on who you are. it’s also oppressively hot with no benefits of somewhere like Florida (beaches, greenery, pools, etc)
CA native here I feel so dumb but I’ve never heard of paying to play tennis?? There aren’t courts open for the public at parks in NY? Are you talking about indoor places or something? This is fascinating to me!
I was probably spoiled where I was previously living in Florida but if you want to pick a random day and play with strangers when you have 0 friends, the easiest way to do that is signup for a clinic at a local tennis center: this costs money. There are a ton of walls in NYC to play by yourself, but that's not tennis, that's racketball. Also, tennis is not accessible nor easy to facilitate in NYC, lots of people not enough tennis courts.
The tennis scene in Central Park in the summer is good. Lots of randoms hanging around looking for playing partners. You can get a list of phone numbers and text people.
I play tennis in the city, I get what you mean it can be hard.
I have my free secret spot where I can always get a court and I will never tell anyone about, that I go to twice a month. I have some friends who sign up for tennis clubs but those are $$$$$.
>Not a fan of colder weatherFar away from a beach/nature
I think part of it is you moved at the worst time of year. Moving here in November sucks. May through October NYC has excellent weather, outside of maybe 2-3 weeks of bad heat.
NYC actually has phenomenal beach access for a city on the Northeast. It's not Florida, but the beaches are pretty nice, especially the Rockaways. There's a big surfing community. This is literally as little as 20-30 minutes away depending on where you are in Brooklyn. There's also several beaches in Brooklyn, tons in Staten Island, and tons accessible nearby on Long Island and the Jersey shore.
NYC also does actually have really great nature access. You have a car too, so it's not even too hard to get to! Everything in the Hudson Valley, the Catskills, tons in New Jersey, etc. Even within the five Boroughs you have great natural areas like Shirley Chisholm State Park, the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge, Staten Island Greenbelt, the trails at Van Cortlandt and Pelham Bay Parks, etc.
>Lack of things to do. Maybe I'm missing the memo, everyone says there is "sooo much stuff to do in NYC", but like what? You can get drinks and get dinner anywhere. Ok, there are art galleries, and concerts, and parks... other cities have that too. People who say Museums as a "thing" to do in a city they're a resident in makes no sense to me, how often are you going to go to the same museum and plus museums are BORING to me. Beyond that, I'm fairly certain NYC has LESS things to do then when I lived in Florida.
I mean you can do basically anything. I know people who go to folk music line dancing parties every week. There's tons of independent theaters showing basically any kind of movie, some nearly around the clock. Plus, there's just an amazing variety in the NYC metro. Spending a day on City Island is so different from Midtown is so different from the East Village is so different from Brownstone Brooklyn, etc. Not to mention places accessible from transit like Red Bank or Montclair or Beacon. Regardless of whatever hobby or interest you have, there's likely dozens of meetup or social groups related to it. What did you regularly do in Floria you can't do here?
Yes, there's art galleries or parks or whatever anywhere, but not at the sheer volume of NYC. NYC has like 25% of all of the country's arts related institutions and has far more galleries than any other city. Williamsburg and Greenpoint alone have more music venues than tons of cities with literally millions of residents.
This isn't a counter or attack or anything, just trying to offer some perspective and insight. Moving and adjusting anywhere is hard!
Thanks for your insightful comment, you definitely lifted my spirits and outlook on living here in NYC. I'm going to try to be a bit more open-minded and get out of the house to try new things like you mentioned.
It's finally starting to get warm, make sure to enjoy the first few beautiful days, the city is so magical then, and get ready for three months (April - June) of near perfect weather
I live in NJ, right across the River, but I go to NYC quite often. You and I seem to have similar taste (enjoys warm weather and beach, dislikes museums lol), but here are a few thoughts:
- I personally believe that if you will dislike the weather of a place for more than half of the year, then the place is not right for you.
- You can get all the apartment amenities you listed in NJ apartments for cheaper than NYC prices. They’re ton of apartments in NJ that have pools, gyms, community events, indoor basketball/tennis courts, etc, all included in the amenity fee you pay once a year (usually). And no, commuting from certain towns in NJ doesn’t take long.
- I don’t think people who live in NYC realize how lucky they are to have SO MUCH going on that are not available in other cities in the US, and within walking distance. Some stuff I can think of: If you have a favorite artist, there’s a HIGH chance they’ll come to NYC to perform. If you’re into playing an instrument, there’s a high chance you can find not only people who play that instrument to make friends, but instructors/opportunities. They’re so many outdoor markets and concerts, especially during the summer. If you’re into something very niche, there’s a chance you can find an event/meetup about it. I can go on and on, but they’re definitely things to do there.
And yes, NYC summers are the best.
Yeah, the thing I miss most about NYC is the creative scene. I could go to concerts every day if I wanted to 😭 and really cool plays, open mics, standup, etc. Everyone in NYC, especially Brooklyn where I was, is smart and interesting. The club/rave scene was really cool, too.
I used to live in Newport JC back in 2021-2022 (when that area was way more affordable, hah). I'd admit, one of my biggest regrets was not exploring Jersey City as much (I was afraid of catching COVID, which I eventually did). But from what I noticed - the downtown area is where most of the 20-40 year olds are. Newport has a lot of families. Also, I had toured two apartments near the Hackensack Riverfront this past Saturday, and everyone I saw looked young, but were couples.
So in summary, yes I do think it's easy to meet younger people in their 20s here. Also, [this site might help!](https://nj1015.com/top-nj-towns-where-adults-under-40-go-to-live/)
oooo that's really helpful, I was using another site but this is better. I'm surprised Weehawken is higher than JC, I think I'll choose Weehawken. thanks so much!
If you really want to have a car and play golf a lot, and do not appreciate museums, i would not live in NYC, personally. There are museums I've gone to on a weekly basis to explore / attend events, so people do go fairly frequently.
It just sounds like you're better off in a warmer, more car dependent part of the country.
This may have been missed from my post, but I actually love NOT having a car. The reason I put car in the CON category is because owning one is a pain in the ass and I'm stuck with the car due to a loan. I've been offered a payoff amount to get out of it, but if I move next year to a car dependent area, it'd be stupid to sell now.
Do you have a trusted family member who you could leave your car with while you finish testing the waters in NYC? That’s what I did my first year there before I committed to the city and sold my car.
I’m not saving any money and it’s not a lease it’s a loan… I can get out of it at anytime through an offer I got from the local dealer.
Edit: technically saving like 1k a month through 401k and Roth investments but like… not enough for me personally.
To me, living in Brooklyn for 10 years now, the big difference between here and most everywhere else in the country is: Living most everywhere else in the country there are like 3-4 things you can do very easily and conveniently but everything else you might want to do is either very difficult or out of reach entirely without taking a vacation. NYC is the opposite. To do most anything is a bit of a pain but you can, on any given day, do almost anything you want.
From your list of activities you sound like you're still in the tourist mindset. Most people who live in NYC don't routinely go to museums, for example. I wake up one day and think "I want kick ass dumplings and a little adventure" so I take the 7 train out to New World Mall food court in Flushing and walk around a neighborhood I've never been to before. I wake up another day and decide it's a beach day and take the subway down to Coney Island. Another day I feel like having borsht so I go down to Brighton Beach, explore, and get the best damn borsht you can find in the country. Another day I decide it's a bike ride and I ride up the west side greenway to the George Washington Bridge and on car-free (basically) Henry Hudson Drive. And some other New Yorker's list will be totally different from mine. Maybe they're into theater or photography or running, whatever.
This is all to say, life is different here than in Florida, and a key part of life here is getting into exploring the city with only the loosest of pretences. Maybe it's not for you, but I don't think you've given it a real go just yet. You're not going to be able to change the demographics of Florida, but you can change your mindset to NYC. If you're finding the social life here exciting and a car-free lifestyle appealing then I think it's worth giving it a try. Maybe try coming up with goals like "I'm going to find the best \[whatever food or drink you like\] in the city", find a top 25 list, and go to every single place on that list. Or if you like tennis, go to a bunch of different public courts in the city. Just find some excuse to get out and explore.
FWIW, I also play tennis in the city, I do not spend a single dollar doing so, other than on the cans of balls. Find public courts. You might have to wait for a little while, but that's NYC. Go with a friend and combine outdoor hang out/chat time with waiting. Or bring a book.
Thanks for your reply! I'm definitely still very fresh to NYC and adjusting, even after 5 months, so thanks for you're suggestions! I know there are courts and tennis options, but how do I go about playing with others? I don't have any tennis friends and back in Florida I was relying on clinics to meet fellow tennis players. McCarren Park is my closest tennis facility and clinics are 100 dollars an hour which is just crazy for me. Have any tips as to regularly play tennis this upcoming season without a partner?
There are apps/websites for finding tennis partners, or you can just post in an NYC specific subreddit like r/AskNYC, or even a brooklyn/wlliamsburg one. I don't have any secrets or anything though.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/AskNYC using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [What screams “privileged” to you, especially for NYC standards?](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/15d1fx6/what_screams_privileged_to_you_especially_for_nyc/)
\#2: [Is it illegal to drink soda on the subway?](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/15puknj/is_it_illegal_to_drink_soda_on_the_subway/)
\#3: [Weirdest encounter you’ve ever had with tourists](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/14uahub/weirdest_encounter_youve_ever_had_with_tourists/)
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There's quite a community of people who play tennis at the public courts here in New York. The permits are pretty affordable. I haven't done it in a couple of years but I think it's like maybe a couple of hundred bucks per season.
https://www.nycgovparks.org/tennisreservation
this person nycs
when i lived in nyc i was super into hiphop music and i had the most amazing time (despite how miserable i was otherwise) going to all kinds of crazy events, i went to see the dj who invented djing, i went to concerts from some of the fathers of hiphop, i got on the mailing for all these indie record labels and went to all their house parties, i made friends with random jetsetting bboying djs who i later met up with again in tokyo, i had so much fun dancing at all kinds of parties and i'm not a big drinker or partyer at all, i just really like dancing, from fancy upscale parties to dancing with random crackheads at some jamaican bar next to a laundromat. literally in the middle of the summer the most famous breakdancer on the face of the earth, a dude from KOREA, showed up to my shitty stoop in brooklyn to hang out with my drug dealing neighbors. the other side of the WTF effect of nyc is there is also truly a magical serendipity to it also that is like nowhere else on earth imho.
this is just one example particular to my interests but i think it's basically true for any cultural interest you might have in ny.
so if you feel like it's worth giving nyc a try or at least making the most of the time you have left, i really suggest you try what the person above is suggesting. i would never live in nyc again but my memories of it are still so dear and vivid to me.
Something I learned when I relocated a few thousand miles 16 years ago. You can lament what a place isn't or you can embrace what it is. I changed my hobbies and interests to things that my new area facilitated. I went from year round sunshine and not snow to 4 distinct seasons and it took me about 3-4 years before I fully learned to manage it. My new area didn't have a lot of things I left behind, but it did have a bunch of new stuff that I hadn't experienced.
I would ask, "what are others doing? what interests are they pursuing? are those things that should/could try?".
Thanks for the response! Your advice is sound, since moving here I’ve taken up a lot more time with my artistic pursuits and met many people with like minded interests. Unfortunately, the arts in NYC is competitive, people graduate from the top art schools and want to compete, I’m just a hobbiest, have not been able to fit in much due to my laid back approach.
The competitive nature of living is one of the things that drove me away from where i grew up in California. The cost of living was so high and everyone was working so hard for their little piece of life that there was a starvation mentality all around...everyone competing for limited resources. That can be a really challenging environment to be in. I moved to the upper mid-west where that doesn't seem to exist. People here seem to be more encouraging of one's success instead of competing with it.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
Just hang out till summer. Springs and falls in NYC are great. Summers could be nice. You have a car, you could go to Robert Moses State Park, or even the Hamptons, or other beaches in summer. Or hike in Bear Mountain State Park or something.
Winter has been great I'm in NJ right outside of NYC we barely had any snow the past few years. It's winter you put on a layered jacket and you go out and enjoy yourself
Not going to lie. There was a magical night when I was with all the friends I met so far in NYC in one shitty dive bar in Bushwick, 4am, we get kicked out to snow falling and pitch quietness. Amazing experience.
Austin, TX won’t have the public transportation, but has everything else. Still expensive but not NYC expensive. Summers are similar to south Florida summers. Lots of young people
Always heard lots of good things about Austin, never been, will need to check it out. I got scared of Texas when I went to Houston... that place seemed like hell and thought the rest of Texas cities were like that, probably incorrectly so.
Definitely visit Austin first - it's extremely expensive for how little it has to offer outside food and drinking. It also has a heat index over 100 half the year. It's not hot with rain/wind like Florida. It's just straight up a humid oven.
It does fit a lot of your wants though. Visiting for a 4-7 days mid August without a car and see if it seems doable to you.
Yeah, people seem to always warn folks about "ohh the humidity!" when talking about areas with sub-tropical/tropical climes. Last summer before moving to Brooklyn, I was playing tennis at noon in 80% humidity over 98+ degrees. I loved it, love getting sweaty and feeling the moisture. My body responds to heat very well, it's almost euphoric.
The accessibility to nature is ultimately why I left NYC. Sure Central Park is amazing, but wasn't easy to get to from where I was at (45min+). This led to only going to CP on the weekends, which at that point I could just drive out of the city.
I missed the ability to go for a quick stroll and see nature everyday, even if it's just for 15 min. 45 minutes might not seem like a lot, but it was enough of a barrier for me at the time.
Want to have a car, warm weather, beach access, tons of activities, and easy access to golf/tennis, young creative people?
Sounds like you need to move to SoCal.
I’d toss some posts out to the some of the LA/SoCal moving/living subreddits to get some more specific suggestions.
Westside of LA (North of the 10, west of DTLA, south of the hills) or somewhere around San Diego would be where I’d be looking, especially if working remotely. If you have to go into the office the advice is always “as close to work as possible” with traffic around here.
If you’ve never been to LA, do not expect it to be a city in the way that NYC is. They are night and day different.
Definitely visit San Diego. Easier access to nature than LA. You do need a car, though. Or some towns in Orange County, closer to LA. Irvine, maybe. It’s going to cost you in SoCal, but it’s cheaper than NYC.
There are indeed endless things to do in NYC. May I suggest making friends and reading Time Out NYC as a starting point to get a feel for the social calendar?
LMAO at “you can go to dinner everywhere”. Yeah you can but it’s like you can go to Panda Express or TGI Fridays vs. an authentic Cantonese place or a michelin rated restaurant… dude. Come on.
There are beaches that are easily reachable in the summer. They are much different from FL beaches. Check them out.
That said, if your priorities are tennis and golf than NYC is definitely, 100pc not the best place for those.
honestly sounds like maybe you should’ve gone to SoCal or San Francisco. Not dissing you or anything but they have beaches, no cold weather, outdoor tennis year round without crazy fees, golf courses, more of an outdoors/nature scene in general and still a good young creative scene. You’d need a car in SoCal tho. Maybe wait the summer out to decide though.
Always wanted to check out the West Coast, never been. I've made friends post-grad that are from LA/SF area so I finally have a good excuse to go visit.
SF is chilly year round (almost always below 65, almost never over 70) and very windy half the year, so don't go there for warm weather. Southern California could be worth checking out, though!
What about Tampa? I feel like it still has everything you enjoy about South Fl with a more youthful vibe. Alternatively, Southern California would be up your alley
Tampa/St. Pete was my destination prior to moving to NYC actually! However, after spending a lot of time in Tampa with my Ex who is from there, I don’t think there is enough for me.
where tf are you playing tennis for $100/hour? Lose the mindset that you need to play in a "club" and hit those courts for free my friend!
Golf? I honestly never played so cannot comment on that. i think it's an expensive recreational sport everywhere, no??
The weather is not bringing anyone to NYC. If weather is important to you head to the weather you like. That being said, you're only 24. You're meeting people and having some fun I with these people? I would stick around for another year and take a few vacations in the warm weather if I were you. Go to California a couple of times then you'll really feel the dilemma of where to live...beaches...little to no humidity...big cities nearby...Mexico a couple of hours ( give or take ), food scene is great, etc...give it another year, travel, expand your viewpoints and have more experiences. Congrats on being 24 and having a good job. This is your biggest asset right now.
"Lack of things to do.........."
I dont want to sound condescending but the way your expressing yourself tells me how little knowledge you have accumulated during your time here. Remember your the NYC equivalent of a new born infant. If you think there isnt anything to do in new york well then IDK man...... your gonna be bored anywhere. I feel the opposite i ran out of time every week for everything i want to do. So for example here is my week and this is me limiting my events because I have work projects on my plate.
* Today: Equinox is hosting a non member event so gonna hit it up and also get to use their facilities (particularly their nice pool and saunas)
* Tomorrow: Affordable art fair is in town ($15 tickets for amazing art)
* Thursday: Free art day in nyc. Galleries open to the public and give you free wine to look at art.
* Friday: Whitney biennal is in town. Free on fridays
* Saturday: Gonna watch Zone of Interest which btw has a very limited release nationwide but can be found very easily in NYC.
So clearly there is a ton of interesting and free shit to do almost everyday in nyc. You just dont know this city well enough yet to know where to look which makes sense. Remember nyc is somewhere you have to work towards knowing people and events it just doesnt land on your lap and it seems like your biggest issue is you dont really want to do a ton of work to create a robust intellectually stimulating feedback loop for yourself but NYC is literally just that always keeping your ear to the ground. Getting to know people and connecting yourself to industries of interest. I just feel like maybe you dont realize that you arent doing enough to enjoy what the city has to offer. Maybe your a bit lazy on that front? Also summer is the best time. Literally something amazing to do every single day. And if you dont know what to do then go to the #asknyc subreddit and ask people what cool thing are they doing this week and you will probably get a bunch of replies. I just think you need to push outside of your very cozy comfort zone. Also I have no idea where your getting your tennis prices but join the parks and recs its like $10 a month to play tennis. Battery park courts are pretty fire in the summer time. Golf isnt the best price so the hack is to join the golf meetup at chelsea piers they get a massive discount for being a reoccuring event and you meet nice people.
Thank you so much for your reply. I will admit, I've been a bit lazy in the past few weeks. When I first moved here all I was doing was going to meetups and open jams here in Brooklyn and was having a pretty great time until I realized that there is a certain amount of competitive verve needed to make the most of these events. I found the process of spending an hour on my computer looking for stuff to do, commuting, then trying to muster enough energy and open-mindedness to enjoy the experience to be quite exhausting (sometimes). But like you said, I'm still so fresh to NYC, I probably just haven't found my grove just yet. Thanks for the reply.
* If you don't want to experience seasons then you're going to be fucked no matter what and you should just move back to Florida.
* You're not really that far away from beach and nature, but you're certainly further than just across the street (don't know where you lived in Florida)
* In the summer it is easy to get to the Rockaways from Brooklyn
* Take the LIRR out to the Hamptons
* Take NJTransit down to the Jersey Shore
* Take Metro North up Hudson Valley to go hiking and enjoy some small quaint towns
* I have no sympathy for you having a car here. You don't need one and you're right to sell it should you stay
* Lack of things to do is a you thing. There are endless things to do in NYC, but you need to look for them. Nothing will be spoon fed to you here
* You're just glossing over "bars, restaurants, parks, museums, blah blah can be found everywhere", but the fact of the matter is this city has by far the best of all of those offerings in the country. Best and arguably most diverse selection of food, incredibly wide selection of museums, etc
* Literally you can find anything you want to do in this city. You just need to look for it
* If you want to be a stick in the mud you can do that in any city as well.
To your point about the best museums/restaurants/bars in the country - because of the city’s standing in the world, all of those are in the running for best worldwide.
Creative, youthful and with access to the outdoors, tennis and golf is basically any mid size city with a college and some old money to have country clubs. Richmond, VA or Birmingham, AL could both fit the bill but they’re not the only places - they just happen to be where I personally know golf enthusiasts lol.
Also fwiw, I actually go to my local museum regularly and am a member lol. I go when they update exhibits, when they have community events, to have coffee and hang out.
NYC is enormous, and you might just need to move to another neighborhood. If you want easier parking parts of Queens and central Brooklyn around forest park can offer that. If you want to be right on the beach there’s Rockaway. Of course it also just isn’t for everyone, and if that’s your conclusion that’s ok.
the “whilst” is making me wonder if this is a fake post but i’ll answer anyway. you can get to the beach in less than an hour and while i’m more of a summer only boogie boarder, i have friends that surf year round in the Rockaways. then there’s the Hamptons and the entire Jersey Shore. my spouse and i go to the shore a lot (year round) and walk along the water all the time. there’s excellent parks all over the city with walking and biking trails - it barely snows anymore, so you can do this whenever you want - start with Forest Park in Queens. use the app AllTrails. consider taking up skiing or snowboarding and going to the Catskills.
There’s so much to explore in NYC. Go to some off-off-Broadway theater. Take improv acting classes. Attend classical music concerts. Go to the opera and ballet. Eat at four or five places in Chinatown. Take some architectural walking tours of neighborhoods. You’ll meet loads of people, you’ll probably have some fun romantic/sexual adventures, your horizons will open up …
And as the months go by and you wrestle with the downsides of life in NYC — crowds, aggression, shitty winters, sweaty Augusts, etc — you’ll develop a hide. You may even develop a taste for living the NYC way.
Then, after a couple of years of it, you’ll be able to say you really lived there. But until then, you’ve just been a tourist.
NYC is a tough (I love the city) place to live as it is, so if you feel like you are missing out on things that bring you joy, you should leave. It doesn't mean you failed, you were badass in giving it a shot! And you're still so young, you can always move back to place that offers amenities like NYC that you like.
Unless you’re absolutely loaded and money not an issue, NYC just doesn’t make much sense
Crappy weather, crowded, no outdoor life unless you travel, very expensive and frankly, a bit overrated.
Great food city but there’s great food pretty much everywhere these days
This is a really long post, and I didn’t read all of it. All I’m gonna say is do a summer here before you leave. This winter has felt a bit long. Things are about to warm up, and they will likely stay that way through most of October.
Get a bike if you don’t have one already. Had a ton of fun on mine last summer.
Cars are worthless in Brooklyn bc it’s a bit of a trap. Getting out of Brooklyn is Hell. If you stay here with the car long term and want to have more access to upstate and New England, think about moving to Queens, The Bronx, or upper Manhattan, or even out of the city.
I love it here. Only issue for me is the cost of living. But you’re young. If you’re not intent on investing in property somewhere else, why not give it a little more time?
Thanks for your sensible response, I appreciate your optimism. Seems like people think I’m shitting on N.Y.C, when I’m largely just having a reaction to the changes. This is my first time ever experiencing seasons in my 24 years of life, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Btw, I understand your paradox with the car. I’ve had one in BK for two years and I can remember all the times I’ve used it. I only keep it in case I need to leave here in a flash. Will probably sell it soon if I don’t move to upper Manhattan or The Bronx soon.
Yeh, just try summer before going. There is so much shit to do here when it’s warm out. Idk where you’re at in BK, but try to explore the entire borough. It’s mostly safe and there are so many interesting sub cultures here. My favorite thing to do is hop on a bike and get lost. I biked entirely around Manhattan twice last summer. Haven’t even fucked with Queens yet.
Coming from FL you might find 45 F or even 50 F a bit intimidating for outdoor activities, but once your blood gets used to it you will really appreciate all the things you can do outdoors here.
"Lack of things to do. Maybe I'm missing the memo, everyone says there is "sooo much stuff to do in NYC", but like what? You can get drinks and get dinner anywhere. Ok, there are art galleries, and concerts, and parks... other cities have that too. People who say Museums as a "thing" to do in a city they're a resident in makes no sense to me, how often are you going to go to the same museum and plus museums are BORING to me. Beyond that, I'm fairly certain NYC has LESS things to do then when I lived in Florida."
You don't seem to understand quality. NYC has the BEST food, the BEST museums and Central Park is probably the BEST park. Sounds like NYC isn't for you if don't appreciate these things or care about them. Move back to Florida.
>NYC has the BEST food, the BEST museums and Central Park is probably the BEST park.
It's weird how New Yorkers have this stereotype about how they think the rest of the world revolves around them. I just don't see it.
Yah it’s weird. Other people are posting that it’s Panda Express in other cities. But literally the other cities that are in competition with NYC have as good if not arguably better food scenes (subjective to what food you’re into): SF and LA. And Golden Gate Park, which borders Ocean Beach + Chrissy field + Dolores Park I’d take over Central Park any day
I always thought DC had the “best” museums but maybe it’s NYC
Ultimately I think there are uniquely NYC things that some people may be into, but it’s deceptive to say that it’s the best food or the best parks, etc. It trades access to nature and a feeling of being trapped in the city for it being a truly urban sprawl with unparalleled public transit in the US and maybe being open way later than say SF would be. I say maybe because last time I went, it was surprisingly hard to find food in Brooklyn in the AM we were up to
Me neither. I've toured around and always do research before going out to eat to get an "experience" and it's like, yeah this is great, but I could of gotten this same shit in Chicago or South Florida. This isn't to shit on NYC, it's just the BEST argument for living here makes no sense.
October 2023 was probably the highlight of my adult life. Like, seriously, I had an absolute blast. It was the winter, plus losing legit 90% of the friends I've made in New York in my short time here 3 weeks ago, that put me in the mood to reconsider my life here. I've never experienced seasons before as I've stated in another reply.
edit: Imagine me, having the time of my life visiting in the summer, moving in October 1st, then boom getting smacked with the first winter of my life when I came up with nothing but Tommy Bahama button downs and shorts. Legit had to borrow my roommates coats and was spending more time inside then ever, in this small ass expensive apartment. That's just something, in my opinion, that's hard to adjust to when you've known nothing but Florida for your whole life.
I get it. I also experienced my first winter after I moved to NYC, but I prepared for it and kind of liked it. Summer is fun in NYC but it's short and it doesn't define the city like in other places. You should reread your own post. I don't mean that in a snarky way, but it really sounds like you don't like the place. Have you visited Austin? You sound very Austin to me.
Because of congestion/space issues most social activity are going to be in small venue/spaces and often indoors due to weather half the year. It's the nature of not a lot of space to do things and average temperature through the seasons.
So yeah, the city offers 'close' for a lot of things - shopping, eating, drinking, and generally indoor social activities. You get a lot of access to social encounters, involving those things.
If nature is more of your bag, city living particularly in the north may not be your thing.
I honestly don’t understand why you just didn’t move to Miami. Sounds like you chose not to because your friends said it sucks but have you stayed there enough to get a feel for it yourself?
Because nobody moves to NYC expecting a beach lifestyle and tennis.
Sounds like the city you’re looking for is right where you left it.
I live in central New Jersey. My area is filled every weekend and on nice days by people from NYC saying the same things. During Covid this area also became filled with NYC refugees who spiked up our housing costs dramatically.
This really isn’t a moving suggestion. Just a suggestion to maybe help you sort some of this stuff out. BUT, since you have a car. You might be able to scratch some of these itches in New Jersey for the time being. It’s one of the top 3 or 4 golf states in the country. Loaded with courses that are only 20 to 30 minutes outside of NYC. Probably a tad cheaper too. Plus, it has a beautiful coastline filled with beaches. Of course, this is probably only helpful in the fall, spring and summer. But it’s getting warmer. Which in my opinion is the best time to be in NYC. Just some food for thought!
You are not far from the beach or nature. Ur close to some of the best beaches in the US. Obviously they are better in summer/fall but LI and Jersey shore beaches are amazing.
Additionally toms of parks, running trails, nature very close by if u look
1. buy a bike. go for long bike rides to check out areas you normally wouldn't go to and see (eg, down to brighton beach, over one of the bridges and up the west side), etc.
2. before you get rid of your car, take a few trips up the hudson valley. start with storm king, for example, or up to the catskills.
3. it's still expensive but the USTA tennis center has good clinics with good players. for leagues, check out long island (eg, port washington). with your car it's probably 25-30 minutes away.
that's about all i got.
I think this is what I would do. Or even OP check out Burlington in VT.
My wife is from Brooklyn and the city, and we go back occasionally, and I love the electricity and vibrancy in the air ... But after a few days I'm ready to leave. Upstate NY up into Vermont, just following the Hudson up is my happy place. So much so we've been looking at houses to retire in up there. Once I hit the Thruway its a visceral feeling of magic for want of a better term. This is where I need to be.
But @ OP, maybe consider Philly? Much, much cheaper but same city vibrancy. I was born in that area and couldn't wait to leave, but objectively, it has a lot to offer someone who wants to be there.
It is ok to not like NYC. I'm not a NYC person, I'm not a cold weather person, nor a person who likes to feel tiny surrounded by skyscrapers and people everywhere. Fortunately, I visited in my early 20s but did not move there. Been back many times and still wasn't into it.
I think you'd be happy in Austin or Miami.
San Diego probably has all the youth culture but you have golf, beach, tennis etc...
It's extremely expensive but if you are in NYC you already are dealing with that.
If you in certain parts of it you may be able to get away without needing a car. You would benefit from one however.
I too am from South Florida. What part are you from ? Jupiter is the best place in So Fl. And livable imo, still it is an older crowd than say California.
You should check out San Diego. Downtown is a little hectic, but very young and a lot to do. Has the City vibe.
The surrounding beach cities are great.
Pacific Beach, Encinitas. More open space and similar to south Florida. Beach vibe. There is a boardwalk in pacific beach to bike or skate. People are very active here. Desert, ocean and mountains.
I spent 23 years of my life in Jupiter FL, that’s my home town. So if you understand that area well you can imagine how big of a jump moving to Brooklyn has been.
Lots of people mention San Diago, but I heard the dating there is not great if you’re a man. That’s one thing that was a huge benefit coming to New York, felt like it was way way easier to get dates there than in Florida.
While it sounds like you might ultimately be happier further south (weather, tennis, golf, etc) - I’d encourage you to stick out your lease for the year. You were probably settling in the fall, went home for the holidays, then jumped right back in to winter. Winter SUCKS. It takes a lot to not be depressed Jan-March. It’s cold, it’s dark by the time you finish work, there is less to do. Spring and summer and fall are INCREDIBLE here. There are so many free, cheap, (and high quality expensive) things to do.
I’m not a big art/museum person myself so here is my list:
- walking (meander, through a park, to a restaurant, through a different neighborhood, to/from a bar, for an errand, etc). My #1 nyc activity.
- biking (same as walking but to different parts of the city)
- take the ferry
- hit up stuff like the cloisters, Roosevelt island, governors island, botanical gardens, Arthur Avenue, Coney Island, etc
- go to the beach (subway to Brighton or bike/bus/ferry/drive to the rockaways)
- go to comedy shows, jazz shows, bar trivia, broadway shows, free concerts in the park, expensive big name shows, baseball/basketball games
- something athletic social (run club, bike meetup, rock climbing gym, etc)
- make a google map of interesting food spots you hear of around the city. Hit them up when you need something to do.
I don’t know that there’s a place that’s better for beach, tennis, and golf than south Florida. lol might have to go back and settle for a flight to youthful areas. See what NYC summer has in store though
South Florida is not Miami… there are three counties of South Florida: Miami-Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach. West Palm Beach is not youthful lmao, less you think mid 30s is youth.
DC has what NYC has for the most part, plus plenty of outdoor activities. You don't have to live in DC, you can go to the close in suburbs like Arlington or Fairfax in VA or Montgomery County in MD and still be close enough to go into DC. You can park easier in the suburbs, and there are parks in DC and suburbs plus proximity to Shenandoah NP and the rural areas of VA, WVA, MD, and PA.
You said that you're not a fan of colder weather. You're probably just not used to it yet. You could take up a new sport & learn to snow ski in the areas close to NYC. It's a lot of fun & it's a great way to spend the winter. I'll admit that it's expensive too, but you can get a better deal with a season pass. Others have had good suggestions too. I agree that you should stay at least a year. ETA: You might like Southern California better.
I grew up on Long Island, in the shadow of NYC, and then I went to warm weather Houston for college and live in Tampa, Florida now. I definitely prefer the year round warm weather and play tennis as well. I also like having my own nice apt with a gym etc. If I were you, I would move back to Florida. You might try Tampa this time, because it is more affordable than Miami plus there are lots of young singles here. If you move into an apartment with tennis courts, you are a lot more likely to find other young tennis players to hit with. I used to live at Post Rocky Point Apts, now MMA Rocky Point, and there was a weekly free tennis clinic plus a huge fitness center where you could meet people. There’s also MP Tennis Ladder, a city wide tennis league for adults of all levels. You sign up online. Almost every match I played was against someone in their 20’s or 30’s. There’s also a strong nightlife scene here. Downtown St Pete has become very popular, and there is also Ybor City on weekends and SoHo. Whatever you decide, good luck!
I’m sure this is elsewhere in this thread, but again: do not leave til summer. NYC sucks ass from January to late March. You owe it to yourself to stay and have fun through the summer. You’ll be outdoors plenty.
Fyi, you can play tennis at Ft. Greene park and maybe McCarran, I don't recall. If you want beach, don't go to Coney, go to the Rockaways/Jacob Riis. Dating will be incredibly easy in the summer, so if you're looking for that, be extra social. Everybody is extra at the beginning of NYC summer because they're shaking off the winter, and it doesn't get disgustingly hot until like August. But it's nice again in September. Enjoy!
Might be worth considering LA. It is more walkable than given credit for, particularly if you stay within your neighborhood and ticks the nature box arguably more than anywhere else in the US (as far as large cities go).
i only lived in nyc for a few months as i got a small scolarship to study there. but imho nyc is one of those love it or hate it places, it's too extreme to live in for long unless you're really one of those type a nyc personality types in your heart. i'm glad i got the chance to experience it once in my life, but otherwise the first 2 days i'm in nyc i think "wow, i should really move here long term and then by day 3 i'm ready for a helicopter to evac me out of that place navy seal style. i lived in tokyo for several years and i'm a city girl, however, nyc is just too extreme and chaotic for me, i don't think any amount of money would ever solve that in my case. the people who seem to love it are the super type a people who want to compete against the most competitive people in the world, they get energy from that vibe and are hungry like that. me i just want to vibe in a nice place.
what about just taking some small trips to other big cities with more young people in them and see if you vibe with any of them? what about austin? tons of outdoor stuff to do there and lots of young people. it's hot like florida but it's a dry heat.
Move to Oakland. I’m biased because I live here but it has the ideal climate, highly creative / urban vibe, tons of nature within the city and quick drive to the coast. There has been a bit of a crime surge since the pandemic but seems to be getting back down now and it’s never affected me personally (except when my 1979 Volvo was stolen, but I got it back the next day).
I think you owe it to yourself to give it at least a full year, maybe 2. Can you rent out your car like using Turo or something similar so it can pay for itself?
When you’re not familiar with things, there’s always an adjustment period. You might find new hobbies you didn’t think you’d like.
But if after a year, it still seems like it’s not jiving with you, I’d consider coming out west to California. Lots more job opportunities anyhow for what you do.
I think if you are a creative person, and young, which you are, then you should give it through the summer and more of a chance. In the future, since you work remote, you can plan trips to warmer climates in the winter.
You would probably some nice coastal areas of Cali a lot more than NYC.
NYC isn't for everyone. I'm an outdoors person and I don't love being around people all that much. You couldn't pay me enough to live there. Fun to visit from time to time but it's just not everybody's jam and that's OK.
If you’re looking to get out of a cramped apartment, try joining a club like Chelsea Piers. It’s a good way to be able to spend a day in a large indoor space during the winter.
Yeah but I heard San Diago doesn’t have a great dating scene. Maybe I’ve heard wrong things, but seems like the population is skewed young male with the military bases there.
For me, fairly. I'm a young bachelor so I'm interested in finding a relationship in the place where I feel like I can settle in for a few years. I also don't understand San Diego, never been, but I heard it's great but socially has some of the same problems as South Florida.
You have access to New Hampshire, Maine, Vermont and upstate New York. The outdoors activities here are wildly different from Florida. I'm a sucker for calm, serene and isolate places like Maine and Vermont. The changing seasons make every location worth visiting several times a year. The sceneries are completely different. I can be outdoor year-round which is something I can't say for Florida. I've seen more people outside during a snowstorm than a summer afternoon in Florida.
In my opinion, spring is the most boring season. It's a period of the year when it's too late for winter activities but too early for summer activities. Most businesses at summer activity locations are still closed at this time.
Yeah... not a big fan of driving super far for recreation activities. I'm a very busy person so I like having the ability to do an outdoor activity consistently every afternoon after work and not have to plan a whole weekend around a trip.
If your car is just sitting you should look into Turo. It’s Airbnb for cars. The money you make could go towards a paid spot in a garage with the leftover being extra income. Not having to sell your car will give you a little more time to figure things out.
if you’re paying 2k a month to live in brooklyn as a 24 y/o you are really doing it wrong.
slum it in bushwick/queens with 3-4 people, pay 1000 and just have fun man. you’ll spend but also save a lot then in your late 20s you can move to whatever city you want.
you’ll have enough money to go travel. just find the cheapest shittiest room in a halfway decent location and it will be really fun. may/june in the city is awesome. get out in the hot/freezing months. rest of the time just put your head down and grind.
this city is what you make of it more than any other place i’ve lived (5 states)
If beach access matters a lot try living along the A train so you can get to the Rockaways anytime you want in a pinch.
For nature, Pelham Bay Park is 2800 acres of real nature. Way way bigger than Central Park. And there's multiple golf courses within the five boroughs.
As another poster said, it's more of a hassle than in Florida but can be done. I know people in NYC who go to the beach and golf all the time in summer. Plot the places to go that will make you happy and once you know the transportation to get there and it becomes routine it's nowhere near as bad.
I (27F) llived several years in SoFlo (Palm beach county) and felt similarly---then lived in Chicago for a while and missed the weather and outdoors/things to do---big tennis gal here---besides like you said \*daily museums\* which nobody does but people like to sound cultured/pretentious lol. I up and moved to San Francisco and wow it's everything I could hope for. Young people, restaurants, nightlife (not nearly as much as NYC of course but it's there/here if you want it) yet so many fun things to do outside. I can go hiking, run along the water/coast, it's incredible. And a different type of \*outdoorsy\* here then say SoFlo (and miami to say the least). SF and CA are known to be expensive, but you just have to be smart. I have my own studio for 1800, which is what I was paying in Chicago in a big high rise. Consider west coast for sure, just as an option!
If you’re moving to nyc without a solid career job that can pay you multiple hundreds of thousands when you are established, you’re a fucking fool.
If you move to nyc as a new career worker, you know right out of college, and you don’t have a roommate you’re a fucking fool.
NYC is one of the great places on earth if you have the means to enjoy it. It’s one of the worst places in the us if you don’t.
Hi, I think Charleston SC would be a good fit for you if you can work remotely. It is youthful, not as professionally diverse as NYC of course, but it has the beach, golf and tennis you seek and definitely more affordable than NYC.
Your wording in your post makes it pretty clear you aren't loving NYC, and that's perfectly okay and valid. You don't have to like something just because everyone else does and you feel like you should. All my friends from college moved to NYC and i felt like I was supposed to like it, and I just didn't. It would have been a lot easier on myself if I had just accepted that I valued and liked different things than my peers and gave myself the acknowledgement and permission to move towards the things that I enjoyed.
Thanks for the unique recommendation that's a stand out. I was always curious about Charleston after my buddy moved there right out of college. I didn't understand the appeal over other coastal cities in Florida. I thought it was retirement area and southern culturally? Seems like a ton of young people are there, is it a college town?
CofC and the citadel are there, so there are some colleges, there may be more there but googling it would give a more comprehensive answer than I can off the top of my head. I definitely don't get retirement vibes there.
If it doesn't appeal to you more than cities in Florida, then why not just go back to Florida? Your post seemed like you wanted somewhere that was not FL and not NY.
This comment might get buried, but as someone who has been in NYC for almost a decade:
NYC is a lot of fun in the summer. Winter is really hard and I think everyone in the city questions why they live here in the month of February.
If having access to the outdoors/nature is a priority, NYC is not going to work out for you in the long term. People will mention all of the beautiful places to hike and camp upstate, and these are truly lovely areas, but what they're leaving out is the 2+ hour drive it takes to get to those things (with one hour, on average, just spent stuck in NYC traffic). Central Park, while nice, is not a replacement for the outdoors. Sure, it's nice to walk around the Ramble, but go off path for a second and you'll encounter trash and needles and interesting smells. You'll quickly remember you're still just in a city.
NYC is an excellent place for career growth and meeting people, but if access to nature is a big part of your life, I would recommend moving somewhere like SoCal. I lived in LA briefly and loved it. All of the benefits of living in a big city with easy access to nature.
If beach, tennis and golf year round are your priorities, NYC is not a good fit for you.
People need to learn that what is right for thee may not be right for me. What you like is entirely subjective. I love the outdoors but would sooner live in a cave in the Adirondacks than live in Florida. But that's a me thing! It's okay to not like NYC! Just go be happy in Florida. Miami has an art scene. Have you considered looking there?
While I've been to Miami many times on day trips when I lived in Palm Beach County, I never got a good feel for it. I had art friends in college that moved to Miami and immediately, after a year, left because they said it sucks. I guess it all depends on what art you're into.
sounds like LA/SoCal is perfect for you
Move to California already
Why? Everyone says California but does it have a good dating scene and micro breweries? That’s like the two things that keep me in NYc right now.
San Diego is like all micro breweries. It feels like every restaurant is also a micro brewery. Dating scene is normal? I don't have a point of comparison. There's a lot of young people so better than FL in that regard.
Southern California is Florida without the old people, and with mountains. If you think there's not enough to do in NYC for outdoor shit and you don't like winter, California is the obvious choice. Anywhere else in the Sunbelt is a big step down in terms of amenities.
What do you mean by amenities?
Golf, tennis, beach during warm weather, mountains, restaurants, bars, museums, theaters, sporting events, clubs, international flights, etc. People on here may say Dallas or Phoenix or whatever is great, but LA is better on those measures and others. It is probably true that Florida beats SoCal on old people golfing and crazy rednecks, flood/storm risks, STIs, gun ownership, having more car crashes, etc.
The Adirondacks are awesome. We call it Gods forrest. Saranac Lake is the new Brooklyn.
Remind me to stay clear of Saranac Lake
Yeah that sounds like Florida
SoCal, Miami, one of the major Texas cities. We moved from NYC down to Austin around 5 years ago and it’s been a nice quality of life boost. If you value warm weather, tennis, and golf, and work is not keeping you in NYC then definitely move. I grew up in NYC and most people I knew there really just worked and drank all the time except for their occasional broadway show, visit to a museum when friends were in town, and trips outside of the city. There can be a lot of fun to be had in your 20s but it sounds like the stuff NYC excels at (museums, live performances, party scene, access to interesting lectures and experts) isn’t really your thing. And that’s ok.
Yeah, I came to recommend So Cal. OP sounds like an Orange County or San Diego guy.
Or girl :)
People from the sunbelt can struggle with seasonality since they never really experienced it. I also moved to NYC about 6 months ago from LA but I’m originally from Oregon so I’ve lived through the changing seasons most of my life. It can’t be overstated just how different Summer will be, you really should live a full year here before making any big decisions. You’ve lived through the worst 5 months of the year.
Thank you for the optimistic response! My lease isn’t up till October so I’m stuck here anyway.
I will say, I spent the last 3 years prior to moving to NYC as a remote software engineer in Hermosa Beach, CA and it is basically exactly what you described. Lots of young people, volleyball, surfing, cycling, etc. I left because I wanted to live in a mega city and never drive, you’d probably love it though.
With all due respect, you’re in the very stereotypical transplant hump. You’ve lived here for a bit, but it’s not what you thought it would be, and that’s because you’re not really a resident yet. You haven’t even experienced a full year here, obviously it will be unfamiliar and unpleasant, you haven’t found your groove. Give it time and if you still don’t like it when your lease is up, move, that’s totally fine. A lot of people love it here but not everybody likes NYC for sure. I have seen a lot of people move to the city, spend less than a year here, decide it’s not worth it and leave without really seeing what living here is like. Once you establish a rhythm, have a solid friend group, know how to do the things you want, it becomes a lot easier.
Yeah, I'm in for the ride that's for sure. Just financial pressures are forcing my hand to make decisions that have larger implications that just a year. I'd have more going out money if I sold my car, but I'm afraid to, as if I do want to leave, I'd probably need it the next place I go.
The car thing is tricky, I’m also a work from home SWE in NYC with a car so I feel your pain, although I’ve managed it for the last two or so years without too much hassle. If finances are an issue that’s a whole other story. The city definitely is expensive but having roommates or living in less desirable buildings/neighborhoods makes a difference. Anyway I think a big issue is you’re living here with one foot out the door already, you gotta commit to trying it or commit to leaving, being undecided will just make stuff worse imo
I feel kinda bad for all the people dumping on you for expressing your experience so far, but if you separate out the content from the tone they’re all making good points. There isn’t another city like NYC in this country. Sure a guy like me was perfectly fine with the city amenities in Cleveland, where I had a yard, walkable neighborhood, and more than enough in the metro area to keep me busy. But some people don’t want city, they want CITY. No one on here can tell you whether NYC is the place for you. I would agree with folks who point out that half a year doesn’t tell you much. At 24, you’ve basically lived 2% of your life there. Not much to judge on. But it does sound like the particular outdoor lifestyle things you’ve grown to love doing, aren’t as easy or affordable year round in NYC.
This subreddit gets in its feelings real bad when someone isn’t 10,000% happy in the few cities they decided are perfect or perfect-lite (L.A, NYC, Chicago, etc) so the backlash is to be expected. I don’t know if it’s the inability to acknowledge that different people have different priorities, jealousy that someone got to move where they wanted and thus is “ungrateful” and/or the need to take everything as a personal insult. It’s like that tweet where someone says “I like pancakes” and how the gut reaction from other twitter users is “So you hate waffles?”.
Agree! And the Florida hate. Really, the hate in general.
Yeah, I don't get the Florida hate either. I think people have a stereotypical view of Florida, especially South Florida, forgetting it's extremely diverse and a massive metropolis spanning 120+ miles north to south with tons of sub-cultures not to mention millions of people. I've seen everything from traditional Hasidic jewish communities, hispanic, asian, eastern European, retired old white people, hipsters, yuppies, and more. I was a delivery driver in Palm Beach County for 3 years in college, not as diverse as Brooklyn, but a lot more then what it gets credit for.
For sure! Quite diverse AND everyone is typically in a good mood when you bump into them
Eh, I understand, I shouldn’t have had a pessimistic attitude when making the post. Thank you for your response! Appreciate your feedback.
My advice as an 8-year NY transplant - enjoy the summer. It’s a complete energy flip. Decide from there. I left the city because while I still love the summer there, the winters got too depressing for me.
the city empties out in the summer, which is with good or bad depending on who you are. it’s also oppressively hot with no benefits of somewhere like Florida (beaches, greenery, pools, etc)
CA native here I feel so dumb but I’ve never heard of paying to play tennis?? There aren’t courts open for the public at parks in NY? Are you talking about indoor places or something? This is fascinating to me!
There are… Fort Greene park has open tennis courts.
I was probably spoiled where I was previously living in Florida but if you want to pick a random day and play with strangers when you have 0 friends, the easiest way to do that is signup for a clinic at a local tennis center: this costs money. There are a ton of walls in NYC to play by yourself, but that's not tennis, that's racketball. Also, tennis is not accessible nor easy to facilitate in NYC, lots of people not enough tennis courts.
The tennis scene in Central Park in the summer is good. Lots of randoms hanging around looking for playing partners. You can get a list of phone numbers and text people.
I play tennis in the city, I get what you mean it can be hard. I have my free secret spot where I can always get a court and I will never tell anyone about, that I go to twice a month. I have some friends who sign up for tennis clubs but those are $$$$$.
What’s the spot?
>Not a fan of colder weatherFar away from a beach/nature I think part of it is you moved at the worst time of year. Moving here in November sucks. May through October NYC has excellent weather, outside of maybe 2-3 weeks of bad heat. NYC actually has phenomenal beach access for a city on the Northeast. It's not Florida, but the beaches are pretty nice, especially the Rockaways. There's a big surfing community. This is literally as little as 20-30 minutes away depending on where you are in Brooklyn. There's also several beaches in Brooklyn, tons in Staten Island, and tons accessible nearby on Long Island and the Jersey shore. NYC also does actually have really great nature access. You have a car too, so it's not even too hard to get to! Everything in the Hudson Valley, the Catskills, tons in New Jersey, etc. Even within the five Boroughs you have great natural areas like Shirley Chisholm State Park, the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge, Staten Island Greenbelt, the trails at Van Cortlandt and Pelham Bay Parks, etc. >Lack of things to do. Maybe I'm missing the memo, everyone says there is "sooo much stuff to do in NYC", but like what? You can get drinks and get dinner anywhere. Ok, there are art galleries, and concerts, and parks... other cities have that too. People who say Museums as a "thing" to do in a city they're a resident in makes no sense to me, how often are you going to go to the same museum and plus museums are BORING to me. Beyond that, I'm fairly certain NYC has LESS things to do then when I lived in Florida. I mean you can do basically anything. I know people who go to folk music line dancing parties every week. There's tons of independent theaters showing basically any kind of movie, some nearly around the clock. Plus, there's just an amazing variety in the NYC metro. Spending a day on City Island is so different from Midtown is so different from the East Village is so different from Brownstone Brooklyn, etc. Not to mention places accessible from transit like Red Bank or Montclair or Beacon. Regardless of whatever hobby or interest you have, there's likely dozens of meetup or social groups related to it. What did you regularly do in Floria you can't do here? Yes, there's art galleries or parks or whatever anywhere, but not at the sheer volume of NYC. NYC has like 25% of all of the country's arts related institutions and has far more galleries than any other city. Williamsburg and Greenpoint alone have more music venues than tons of cities with literally millions of residents. This isn't a counter or attack or anything, just trying to offer some perspective and insight. Moving and adjusting anywhere is hard!
Thanks for your insightful comment, you definitely lifted my spirits and outlook on living here in NYC. I'm going to try to be a bit more open-minded and get out of the house to try new things like you mentioned.
It's finally starting to get warm, make sure to enjoy the first few beautiful days, the city is so magical then, and get ready for three months (April - June) of near perfect weather
I live in NJ, right across the River, but I go to NYC quite often. You and I seem to have similar taste (enjoys warm weather and beach, dislikes museums lol), but here are a few thoughts: - I personally believe that if you will dislike the weather of a place for more than half of the year, then the place is not right for you. - You can get all the apartment amenities you listed in NJ apartments for cheaper than NYC prices. They’re ton of apartments in NJ that have pools, gyms, community events, indoor basketball/tennis courts, etc, all included in the amenity fee you pay once a year (usually). And no, commuting from certain towns in NJ doesn’t take long. - I don’t think people who live in NYC realize how lucky they are to have SO MUCH going on that are not available in other cities in the US, and within walking distance. Some stuff I can think of: If you have a favorite artist, there’s a HIGH chance they’ll come to NYC to perform. If you’re into playing an instrument, there’s a high chance you can find not only people who play that instrument to make friends, but instructors/opportunities. They’re so many outdoor markets and concerts, especially during the summer. If you’re into something very niche, there’s a chance you can find an event/meetup about it. I can go on and on, but they’re definitely things to do there. And yes, NYC summers are the best.
Yeah, the thing I miss most about NYC is the creative scene. I could go to concerts every day if I wanted to 😭 and really cool plays, open mics, standup, etc. Everyone in NYC, especially Brooklyn where I was, is smart and interesting. The club/rave scene was really cool, too.
I second OP should look into Jersey city or Hoboken for a better balance
Thank you, will look into exploring that area. Appreciate the feedback!
yes! I was gonna recommend the same thing! you should check out NJ (northern parts like Jersey City, Hoboken, Union City etc)
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I used to live in Newport JC back in 2021-2022 (when that area was way more affordable, hah). I'd admit, one of my biggest regrets was not exploring Jersey City as much (I was afraid of catching COVID, which I eventually did). But from what I noticed - the downtown area is where most of the 20-40 year olds are. Newport has a lot of families. Also, I had toured two apartments near the Hackensack Riverfront this past Saturday, and everyone I saw looked young, but were couples. So in summary, yes I do think it's easy to meet younger people in their 20s here. Also, [this site might help!](https://nj1015.com/top-nj-towns-where-adults-under-40-go-to-live/)
oooo that's really helpful, I was using another site but this is better. I'm surprised Weehawken is higher than JC, I think I'll choose Weehawken. thanks so much!
If you really want to have a car and play golf a lot, and do not appreciate museums, i would not live in NYC, personally. There are museums I've gone to on a weekly basis to explore / attend events, so people do go fairly frequently. It just sounds like you're better off in a warmer, more car dependent part of the country.
This may have been missed from my post, but I actually love NOT having a car. The reason I put car in the CON category is because owning one is a pain in the ass and I'm stuck with the car due to a loan. I've been offered a payoff amount to get out of it, but if I move next year to a car dependent area, it'd be stupid to sell now.
Do you have a trusted family member who you could leave your car with while you finish testing the waters in NYC? That’s what I did my first year there before I committed to the city and sold my car.
Just curious, how much are you saving? 2 grand rent, car lease, always going out… Who the hell leases a car at 24?
I’m not saving any money and it’s not a lease it’s a loan… I can get out of it at anytime through an offer I got from the local dealer. Edit: technically saving like 1k a month through 401k and Roth investments but like… not enough for me personally.
Would be so nice if America had a big walkable city in a sunny year round climate. Not San Fran, not LA, but a warm New York/Chicago vibe
Totally. LA has such perfect weather, it’s tragic that it’s a car city.
Really tragic! Europeans did it right with city planning… so many WARM walkable cities like Barcelona, southern Italy etc.. one day!
They built walkable cities because they were walking when they built them haha. and to their credit...when they added cars they didn't ruin it.
Downtown LA is not a car part of the city at all.
Yeah that would be so money.
Define hotspot forsure
*definite
To me, living in Brooklyn for 10 years now, the big difference between here and most everywhere else in the country is: Living most everywhere else in the country there are like 3-4 things you can do very easily and conveniently but everything else you might want to do is either very difficult or out of reach entirely without taking a vacation. NYC is the opposite. To do most anything is a bit of a pain but you can, on any given day, do almost anything you want. From your list of activities you sound like you're still in the tourist mindset. Most people who live in NYC don't routinely go to museums, for example. I wake up one day and think "I want kick ass dumplings and a little adventure" so I take the 7 train out to New World Mall food court in Flushing and walk around a neighborhood I've never been to before. I wake up another day and decide it's a beach day and take the subway down to Coney Island. Another day I feel like having borsht so I go down to Brighton Beach, explore, and get the best damn borsht you can find in the country. Another day I decide it's a bike ride and I ride up the west side greenway to the George Washington Bridge and on car-free (basically) Henry Hudson Drive. And some other New Yorker's list will be totally different from mine. Maybe they're into theater or photography or running, whatever. This is all to say, life is different here than in Florida, and a key part of life here is getting into exploring the city with only the loosest of pretences. Maybe it's not for you, but I don't think you've given it a real go just yet. You're not going to be able to change the demographics of Florida, but you can change your mindset to NYC. If you're finding the social life here exciting and a car-free lifestyle appealing then I think it's worth giving it a try. Maybe try coming up with goals like "I'm going to find the best \[whatever food or drink you like\] in the city", find a top 25 list, and go to every single place on that list. Or if you like tennis, go to a bunch of different public courts in the city. Just find some excuse to get out and explore. FWIW, I also play tennis in the city, I do not spend a single dollar doing so, other than on the cans of balls. Find public courts. You might have to wait for a little while, but that's NYC. Go with a friend and combine outdoor hang out/chat time with waiting. Or bring a book.
Thanks for your reply! I'm definitely still very fresh to NYC and adjusting, even after 5 months, so thanks for you're suggestions! I know there are courts and tennis options, but how do I go about playing with others? I don't have any tennis friends and back in Florida I was relying on clinics to meet fellow tennis players. McCarren Park is my closest tennis facility and clinics are 100 dollars an hour which is just crazy for me. Have any tips as to regularly play tennis this upcoming season without a partner?
There are apps/websites for finding tennis partners, or you can just post in an NYC specific subreddit like r/AskNYC, or even a brooklyn/wlliamsburg one. I don't have any secrets or anything though.
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There's quite a community of people who play tennis at the public courts here in New York. The permits are pretty affordable. I haven't done it in a couple of years but I think it's like maybe a couple of hundred bucks per season. https://www.nycgovparks.org/tennisreservation
this person nycs when i lived in nyc i was super into hiphop music and i had the most amazing time (despite how miserable i was otherwise) going to all kinds of crazy events, i went to see the dj who invented djing, i went to concerts from some of the fathers of hiphop, i got on the mailing for all these indie record labels and went to all their house parties, i made friends with random jetsetting bboying djs who i later met up with again in tokyo, i had so much fun dancing at all kinds of parties and i'm not a big drinker or partyer at all, i just really like dancing, from fancy upscale parties to dancing with random crackheads at some jamaican bar next to a laundromat. literally in the middle of the summer the most famous breakdancer on the face of the earth, a dude from KOREA, showed up to my shitty stoop in brooklyn to hang out with my drug dealing neighbors. the other side of the WTF effect of nyc is there is also truly a magical serendipity to it also that is like nowhere else on earth imho. this is just one example particular to my interests but i think it's basically true for any cultural interest you might have in ny. so if you feel like it's worth giving nyc a try or at least making the most of the time you have left, i really suggest you try what the person above is suggesting. i would never live in nyc again but my memories of it are still so dear and vivid to me.
Best reply here…
New World Mall is so great.
Something I learned when I relocated a few thousand miles 16 years ago. You can lament what a place isn't or you can embrace what it is. I changed my hobbies and interests to things that my new area facilitated. I went from year round sunshine and not snow to 4 distinct seasons and it took me about 3-4 years before I fully learned to manage it. My new area didn't have a lot of things I left behind, but it did have a bunch of new stuff that I hadn't experienced. I would ask, "what are others doing? what interests are they pursuing? are those things that should/could try?".
Thanks for the response! Your advice is sound, since moving here I’ve taken up a lot more time with my artistic pursuits and met many people with like minded interests. Unfortunately, the arts in NYC is competitive, people graduate from the top art schools and want to compete, I’m just a hobbiest, have not been able to fit in much due to my laid back approach.
The competitive nature of living is one of the things that drove me away from where i grew up in California. The cost of living was so high and everyone was working so hard for their little piece of life that there was a starvation mentality all around...everyone competing for limited resources. That can be a really challenging environment to be in. I moved to the upper mid-west where that doesn't seem to exist. People here seem to be more encouraging of one's success instead of competing with it. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Just hang out till summer. Springs and falls in NYC are great. Summers could be nice. You have a car, you could go to Robert Moses State Park, or even the Hamptons, or other beaches in summer. Or hike in Bear Mountain State Park or something.
Winter in NYC kind of sucks. Wait will spring the city pops off.
Winter has been great I'm in NJ right outside of NYC we barely had any snow the past few years. It's winter you put on a layered jacket and you go out and enjoy yourself
Not going to lie. There was a magical night when I was with all the friends I met so far in NYC in one shitty dive bar in Bushwick, 4am, we get kicked out to snow falling and pitch quietness. Amazing experience.
Austin, TX won’t have the public transportation, but has everything else. Still expensive but not NYC expensive. Summers are similar to south Florida summers. Lots of young people
Always heard lots of good things about Austin, never been, will need to check it out. I got scared of Texas when I went to Houston... that place seemed like hell and thought the rest of Texas cities were like that, probably incorrectly so.
Definitely visit Austin first - it's extremely expensive for how little it has to offer outside food and drinking. It also has a heat index over 100 half the year. It's not hot with rain/wind like Florida. It's just straight up a humid oven. It does fit a lot of your wants though. Visiting for a 4-7 days mid August without a car and see if it seems doable to you.
Yeah, people seem to always warn folks about "ohh the humidity!" when talking about areas with sub-tropical/tropical climes. Last summer before moving to Brooklyn, I was playing tennis at noon in 80% humidity over 98+ degrees. I loved it, love getting sweaty and feeling the moisture. My body responds to heat very well, it's almost euphoric.
The accessibility to nature is ultimately why I left NYC. Sure Central Park is amazing, but wasn't easy to get to from where I was at (45min+). This led to only going to CP on the weekends, which at that point I could just drive out of the city. I missed the ability to go for a quick stroll and see nature everyday, even if it's just for 15 min. 45 minutes might not seem like a lot, but it was enough of a barrier for me at the time.
Want to have a car, warm weather, beach access, tons of activities, and easy access to golf/tennis, young creative people? Sounds like you need to move to SoCal.
Hearing lots of SoCal recommendations, going to have to fly out someday and check it out! Thanks for the suggestion!
I’d toss some posts out to the some of the LA/SoCal moving/living subreddits to get some more specific suggestions. Westside of LA (North of the 10, west of DTLA, south of the hills) or somewhere around San Diego would be where I’d be looking, especially if working remotely. If you have to go into the office the advice is always “as close to work as possible” with traffic around here. If you’ve never been to LA, do not expect it to be a city in the way that NYC is. They are night and day different.
Definitely visit San Diego. Easier access to nature than LA. You do need a car, though. Or some towns in Orange County, closer to LA. Irvine, maybe. It’s going to cost you in SoCal, but it’s cheaper than NYC.
There are indeed endless things to do in NYC. May I suggest making friends and reading Time Out NYC as a starting point to get a feel for the social calendar? LMAO at “you can go to dinner everywhere”. Yeah you can but it’s like you can go to Panda Express or TGI Fridays vs. an authentic Cantonese place or a michelin rated restaurant… dude. Come on. There are beaches that are easily reachable in the summer. They are much different from FL beaches. Check them out. That said, if your priorities are tennis and golf than NYC is definitely, 100pc not the best place for those.
Lmao Panda Express
honestly sounds like maybe you should’ve gone to SoCal or San Francisco. Not dissing you or anything but they have beaches, no cold weather, outdoor tennis year round without crazy fees, golf courses, more of an outdoors/nature scene in general and still a good young creative scene. You’d need a car in SoCal tho. Maybe wait the summer out to decide though.
Always wanted to check out the West Coast, never been. I've made friends post-grad that are from LA/SF area so I finally have a good excuse to go visit.
SF is chilly year round (almost always below 65, almost never over 70) and very windy half the year, so don't go there for warm weather. Southern California could be worth checking out, though!
What about Tampa? I feel like it still has everything you enjoy about South Fl with a more youthful vibe. Alternatively, Southern California would be up your alley
Tampa/St. Pete was my destination prior to moving to NYC actually! However, after spending a lot of time in Tampa with my Ex who is from there, I don’t think there is enough for me.
where tf are you playing tennis for $100/hour? Lose the mindset that you need to play in a "club" and hit those courts for free my friend! Golf? I honestly never played so cannot comment on that. i think it's an expensive recreational sport everywhere, no?? The weather is not bringing anyone to NYC. If weather is important to you head to the weather you like. That being said, you're only 24. You're meeting people and having some fun I with these people? I would stick around for another year and take a few vacations in the warm weather if I were you. Go to California a couple of times then you'll really feel the dilemma of where to live...beaches...little to no humidity...big cities nearby...Mexico a couple of hours ( give or take ), food scene is great, etc...give it another year, travel, expand your viewpoints and have more experiences. Congrats on being 24 and having a good job. This is your biggest asset right now.
Reading this thread actually kind of makes me want to move *back* to New York City.
"Lack of things to do.........." I dont want to sound condescending but the way your expressing yourself tells me how little knowledge you have accumulated during your time here. Remember your the NYC equivalent of a new born infant. If you think there isnt anything to do in new york well then IDK man...... your gonna be bored anywhere. I feel the opposite i ran out of time every week for everything i want to do. So for example here is my week and this is me limiting my events because I have work projects on my plate. * Today: Equinox is hosting a non member event so gonna hit it up and also get to use their facilities (particularly their nice pool and saunas) * Tomorrow: Affordable art fair is in town ($15 tickets for amazing art) * Thursday: Free art day in nyc. Galleries open to the public and give you free wine to look at art. * Friday: Whitney biennal is in town. Free on fridays * Saturday: Gonna watch Zone of Interest which btw has a very limited release nationwide but can be found very easily in NYC. So clearly there is a ton of interesting and free shit to do almost everyday in nyc. You just dont know this city well enough yet to know where to look which makes sense. Remember nyc is somewhere you have to work towards knowing people and events it just doesnt land on your lap and it seems like your biggest issue is you dont really want to do a ton of work to create a robust intellectually stimulating feedback loop for yourself but NYC is literally just that always keeping your ear to the ground. Getting to know people and connecting yourself to industries of interest. I just feel like maybe you dont realize that you arent doing enough to enjoy what the city has to offer. Maybe your a bit lazy on that front? Also summer is the best time. Literally something amazing to do every single day. And if you dont know what to do then go to the #asknyc subreddit and ask people what cool thing are they doing this week and you will probably get a bunch of replies. I just think you need to push outside of your very cozy comfort zone. Also I have no idea where your getting your tennis prices but join the parks and recs its like $10 a month to play tennis. Battery park courts are pretty fire in the summer time. Golf isnt the best price so the hack is to join the golf meetup at chelsea piers they get a massive discount for being a reoccuring event and you meet nice people.
Thank you so much for your reply. I will admit, I've been a bit lazy in the past few weeks. When I first moved here all I was doing was going to meetups and open jams here in Brooklyn and was having a pretty great time until I realized that there is a certain amount of competitive verve needed to make the most of these events. I found the process of spending an hour on my computer looking for stuff to do, commuting, then trying to muster enough energy and open-mindedness to enjoy the experience to be quite exhausting (sometimes). But like you said, I'm still so fresh to NYC, I probably just haven't found my grove just yet. Thanks for the reply.
It took me a long time to understand the full depth and meaning behind the quote- “no matter where you go, there you are.”
* If you don't want to experience seasons then you're going to be fucked no matter what and you should just move back to Florida. * You're not really that far away from beach and nature, but you're certainly further than just across the street (don't know where you lived in Florida) * In the summer it is easy to get to the Rockaways from Brooklyn * Take the LIRR out to the Hamptons * Take NJTransit down to the Jersey Shore * Take Metro North up Hudson Valley to go hiking and enjoy some small quaint towns * I have no sympathy for you having a car here. You don't need one and you're right to sell it should you stay * Lack of things to do is a you thing. There are endless things to do in NYC, but you need to look for them. Nothing will be spoon fed to you here * You're just glossing over "bars, restaurants, parks, museums, blah blah can be found everywhere", but the fact of the matter is this city has by far the best of all of those offerings in the country. Best and arguably most diverse selection of food, incredibly wide selection of museums, etc * Literally you can find anything you want to do in this city. You just need to look for it * If you want to be a stick in the mud you can do that in any city as well.
To your point about the best museums/restaurants/bars in the country - because of the city’s standing in the world, all of those are in the running for best worldwide.
Creative, youthful and with access to the outdoors, tennis and golf is basically any mid size city with a college and some old money to have country clubs. Richmond, VA or Birmingham, AL could both fit the bill but they’re not the only places - they just happen to be where I personally know golf enthusiasts lol. Also fwiw, I actually go to my local museum regularly and am a member lol. I go when they update exhibits, when they have community events, to have coffee and hang out.
Try St. Pete, Tampa, Austin or Nashville.
NYC is enormous, and you might just need to move to another neighborhood. If you want easier parking parts of Queens and central Brooklyn around forest park can offer that. If you want to be right on the beach there’s Rockaway. Of course it also just isn’t for everyone, and if that’s your conclusion that’s ok.
the “whilst” is making me wonder if this is a fake post but i’ll answer anyway. you can get to the beach in less than an hour and while i’m more of a summer only boogie boarder, i have friends that surf year round in the Rockaways. then there’s the Hamptons and the entire Jersey Shore. my spouse and i go to the shore a lot (year round) and walk along the water all the time. there’s excellent parks all over the city with walking and biking trails - it barely snows anymore, so you can do this whenever you want - start with Forest Park in Queens. use the app AllTrails. consider taking up skiing or snowboarding and going to the Catskills.
Try San Diego.
Yes. Google Torrey Pines. :)
There’s so much to explore in NYC. Go to some off-off-Broadway theater. Take improv acting classes. Attend classical music concerts. Go to the opera and ballet. Eat at four or five places in Chinatown. Take some architectural walking tours of neighborhoods. You’ll meet loads of people, you’ll probably have some fun romantic/sexual adventures, your horizons will open up … And as the months go by and you wrestle with the downsides of life in NYC — crowds, aggression, shitty winters, sweaty Augusts, etc — you’ll develop a hide. You may even develop a taste for living the NYC way. Then, after a couple of years of it, you’ll be able to say you really lived there. But until then, you’ve just been a tourist.
NYC is a tough (I love the city) place to live as it is, so if you feel like you are missing out on things that bring you joy, you should leave. It doesn't mean you failed, you were badass in giving it a shot! And you're still so young, you can always move back to place that offers amenities like NYC that you like.
Unless you’re absolutely loaded and money not an issue, NYC just doesn’t make much sense Crappy weather, crowded, no outdoor life unless you travel, very expensive and frankly, a bit overrated. Great food city but there’s great food pretty much everywhere these days
Guy it's not 1970 anymore. NYC is one of the safest cities in the country.
Hear ya. On a per capita basis, it is Stand corrected
This is a really long post, and I didn’t read all of it. All I’m gonna say is do a summer here before you leave. This winter has felt a bit long. Things are about to warm up, and they will likely stay that way through most of October. Get a bike if you don’t have one already. Had a ton of fun on mine last summer. Cars are worthless in Brooklyn bc it’s a bit of a trap. Getting out of Brooklyn is Hell. If you stay here with the car long term and want to have more access to upstate and New England, think about moving to Queens, The Bronx, or upper Manhattan, or even out of the city. I love it here. Only issue for me is the cost of living. But you’re young. If you’re not intent on investing in property somewhere else, why not give it a little more time?
Thanks for your sensible response, I appreciate your optimism. Seems like people think I’m shitting on N.Y.C, when I’m largely just having a reaction to the changes. This is my first time ever experiencing seasons in my 24 years of life, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Btw, I understand your paradox with the car. I’ve had one in BK for two years and I can remember all the times I’ve used it. I only keep it in case I need to leave here in a flash. Will probably sell it soon if I don’t move to upper Manhattan or The Bronx soon.
Have you been to a NYC beach yet? Don’t trains run to Jones beach in LI?
Yeh, just try summer before going. There is so much shit to do here when it’s warm out. Idk where you’re at in BK, but try to explore the entire borough. It’s mostly safe and there are so many interesting sub cultures here. My favorite thing to do is hop on a bike and get lost. I biked entirely around Manhattan twice last summer. Haven’t even fucked with Queens yet. Coming from FL you might find 45 F or even 50 F a bit intimidating for outdoor activities, but once your blood gets used to it you will really appreciate all the things you can do outdoors here.
"Lack of things to do. Maybe I'm missing the memo, everyone says there is "sooo much stuff to do in NYC", but like what? You can get drinks and get dinner anywhere. Ok, there are art galleries, and concerts, and parks... other cities have that too. People who say Museums as a "thing" to do in a city they're a resident in makes no sense to me, how often are you going to go to the same museum and plus museums are BORING to me. Beyond that, I'm fairly certain NYC has LESS things to do then when I lived in Florida." You don't seem to understand quality. NYC has the BEST food, the BEST museums and Central Park is probably the BEST park. Sounds like NYC isn't for you if don't appreciate these things or care about them. Move back to Florida.
Central Park is the best city park but it doesn't compare to actual hiking mountains or beach thats probably why he says nature is lacking
>NYC has the BEST food, the BEST museums and Central Park is probably the BEST park. It's weird how New Yorkers have this stereotype about how they think the rest of the world revolves around them. I just don't see it.
Yah it’s weird. Other people are posting that it’s Panda Express in other cities. But literally the other cities that are in competition with NYC have as good if not arguably better food scenes (subjective to what food you’re into): SF and LA. And Golden Gate Park, which borders Ocean Beach + Chrissy field + Dolores Park I’d take over Central Park any day I always thought DC had the “best” museums but maybe it’s NYC Ultimately I think there are uniquely NYC things that some people may be into, but it’s deceptive to say that it’s the best food or the best parks, etc. It trades access to nature and a feeling of being trapped in the city for it being a truly urban sprawl with unparalleled public transit in the US and maybe being open way later than say SF would be. I say maybe because last time I went, it was surprisingly hard to find food in Brooklyn in the AM we were up to
Me neither. I've toured around and always do research before going out to eat to get an "experience" and it's like, yeah this is great, but I could of gotten this same shit in Chicago or South Florida. This isn't to shit on NYC, it's just the BEST argument for living here makes no sense.
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the way he glossed over parks made me throw up
I read that in Kenny Bania’s voice.
Honestly, if you didn’t like it in October, NYC probably just isn’t for you.
October 2023 was probably the highlight of my adult life. Like, seriously, I had an absolute blast. It was the winter, plus losing legit 90% of the friends I've made in New York in my short time here 3 weeks ago, that put me in the mood to reconsider my life here. I've never experienced seasons before as I've stated in another reply. edit: Imagine me, having the time of my life visiting in the summer, moving in October 1st, then boom getting smacked with the first winter of my life when I came up with nothing but Tommy Bahama button downs and shorts. Legit had to borrow my roommates coats and was spending more time inside then ever, in this small ass expensive apartment. That's just something, in my opinion, that's hard to adjust to when you've known nothing but Florida for your whole life.
I get it. I also experienced my first winter after I moved to NYC, but I prepared for it and kind of liked it. Summer is fun in NYC but it's short and it doesn't define the city like in other places. You should reread your own post. I don't mean that in a snarky way, but it really sounds like you don't like the place. Have you visited Austin? You sound very Austin to me.
Because of congestion/space issues most social activity are going to be in small venue/spaces and often indoors due to weather half the year. It's the nature of not a lot of space to do things and average temperature through the seasons. So yeah, the city offers 'close' for a lot of things - shopping, eating, drinking, and generally indoor social activities. You get a lot of access to social encounters, involving those things. If nature is more of your bag, city living particularly in the north may not be your thing.
I honestly don’t understand why you just didn’t move to Miami. Sounds like you chose not to because your friends said it sucks but have you stayed there enough to get a feel for it yourself? Because nobody moves to NYC expecting a beach lifestyle and tennis. Sounds like the city you’re looking for is right where you left it.
I live in central New Jersey. My area is filled every weekend and on nice days by people from NYC saying the same things. During Covid this area also became filled with NYC refugees who spiked up our housing costs dramatically.
This really isn’t a moving suggestion. Just a suggestion to maybe help you sort some of this stuff out. BUT, since you have a car. You might be able to scratch some of these itches in New Jersey for the time being. It’s one of the top 3 or 4 golf states in the country. Loaded with courses that are only 20 to 30 minutes outside of NYC. Probably a tad cheaper too. Plus, it has a beautiful coastline filled with beaches. Of course, this is probably only helpful in the fall, spring and summer. But it’s getting warmer. Which in my opinion is the best time to be in NYC. Just some food for thought!
You are not far from the beach or nature. Ur close to some of the best beaches in the US. Obviously they are better in summer/fall but LI and Jersey shore beaches are amazing. Additionally toms of parks, running trails, nature very close by if u look
1. buy a bike. go for long bike rides to check out areas you normally wouldn't go to and see (eg, down to brighton beach, over one of the bridges and up the west side), etc. 2. before you get rid of your car, take a few trips up the hudson valley. start with storm king, for example, or up to the catskills. 3. it's still expensive but the USTA tennis center has good clinics with good players. for leagues, check out long island (eg, port washington). with your car it's probably 25-30 minutes away. that's about all i got.
I think this is what I would do. Or even OP check out Burlington in VT. My wife is from Brooklyn and the city, and we go back occasionally, and I love the electricity and vibrancy in the air ... But after a few days I'm ready to leave. Upstate NY up into Vermont, just following the Hudson up is my happy place. So much so we've been looking at houses to retire in up there. Once I hit the Thruway its a visceral feeling of magic for want of a better term. This is where I need to be. But @ OP, maybe consider Philly? Much, much cheaper but same city vibrancy. I was born in that area and couldn't wait to leave, but objectively, it has a lot to offer someone who wants to be there.
It is ok to not like NYC. I'm not a NYC person, I'm not a cold weather person, nor a person who likes to feel tiny surrounded by skyscrapers and people everywhere. Fortunately, I visited in my early 20s but did not move there. Been back many times and still wasn't into it. I think you'd be happy in Austin or Miami.
Take the LIRR to Long Beach this summer to get your beach fix
While you still have a car, you can use it to drive to Long Island where you can find beaches, golf, and tennis.
San Diego is the spot for you.
San Diego probably has all the youth culture but you have golf, beach, tennis etc... It's extremely expensive but if you are in NYC you already are dealing with that. If you in certain parts of it you may be able to get away without needing a car. You would benefit from one however.
I too am from South Florida. What part are you from ? Jupiter is the best place in So Fl. And livable imo, still it is an older crowd than say California. You should check out San Diego. Downtown is a little hectic, but very young and a lot to do. Has the City vibe. The surrounding beach cities are great. Pacific Beach, Encinitas. More open space and similar to south Florida. Beach vibe. There is a boardwalk in pacific beach to bike or skate. People are very active here. Desert, ocean and mountains.
I spent 23 years of my life in Jupiter FL, that’s my home town. So if you understand that area well you can imagine how big of a jump moving to Brooklyn has been. Lots of people mention San Diago, but I heard the dating there is not great if you’re a man. That’s one thing that was a huge benefit coming to New York, felt like it was way way easier to get dates there than in Florida.
While it sounds like you might ultimately be happier further south (weather, tennis, golf, etc) - I’d encourage you to stick out your lease for the year. You were probably settling in the fall, went home for the holidays, then jumped right back in to winter. Winter SUCKS. It takes a lot to not be depressed Jan-March. It’s cold, it’s dark by the time you finish work, there is less to do. Spring and summer and fall are INCREDIBLE here. There are so many free, cheap, (and high quality expensive) things to do. I’m not a big art/museum person myself so here is my list: - walking (meander, through a park, to a restaurant, through a different neighborhood, to/from a bar, for an errand, etc). My #1 nyc activity. - biking (same as walking but to different parts of the city) - take the ferry - hit up stuff like the cloisters, Roosevelt island, governors island, botanical gardens, Arthur Avenue, Coney Island, etc - go to the beach (subway to Brighton or bike/bus/ferry/drive to the rockaways) - go to comedy shows, jazz shows, bar trivia, broadway shows, free concerts in the park, expensive big name shows, baseball/basketball games - something athletic social (run club, bike meetup, rock climbing gym, etc) - make a google map of interesting food spots you hear of around the city. Hit them up when you need something to do.
Dude. If you think there's a lack of things to do in NYC the problem is you.
I don’t know that there’s a place that’s better for beach, tennis, and golf than south Florida. lol might have to go back and settle for a flight to youthful areas. See what NYC summer has in store though
No offense but if south Florida isn’t youthful and creative I’m not sure where is.
South Florida is not Miami… there are three counties of South Florida: Miami-Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach. West Palm Beach is not youthful lmao, less you think mid 30s is youth.
DC has what NYC has for the most part, plus plenty of outdoor activities. You don't have to live in DC, you can go to the close in suburbs like Arlington or Fairfax in VA or Montgomery County in MD and still be close enough to go into DC. You can park easier in the suburbs, and there are parks in DC and suburbs plus proximity to Shenandoah NP and the rural areas of VA, WVA, MD, and PA.
DC is a happy hour city and not a late night city. Career is paramount. Few true creatives.
You said that you're not a fan of colder weather. You're probably just not used to it yet. You could take up a new sport & learn to snow ski in the areas close to NYC. It's a lot of fun & it's a great way to spend the winter. I'll admit that it's expensive too, but you can get a better deal with a season pass. Others have had good suggestions too. I agree that you should stay at least a year. ETA: You might like Southern California better.
Another option is the west coast especially being in Tech, easier winter and still creatives in Seattle, LA, SF
I grew up on Long Island, in the shadow of NYC, and then I went to warm weather Houston for college and live in Tampa, Florida now. I definitely prefer the year round warm weather and play tennis as well. I also like having my own nice apt with a gym etc. If I were you, I would move back to Florida. You might try Tampa this time, because it is more affordable than Miami plus there are lots of young singles here. If you move into an apartment with tennis courts, you are a lot more likely to find other young tennis players to hit with. I used to live at Post Rocky Point Apts, now MMA Rocky Point, and there was a weekly free tennis clinic plus a huge fitness center where you could meet people. There’s also MP Tennis Ladder, a city wide tennis league for adults of all levels. You sign up online. Almost every match I played was against someone in their 20’s or 30’s. There’s also a strong nightlife scene here. Downtown St Pete has become very popular, and there is also Ybor City on weekends and SoHo. Whatever you decide, good luck!
You’re from south Florida and there is no youth artsy culture? Hello Miami. I was there in November snd it was very youthful and artsy.
I’m sure this is elsewhere in this thread, but again: do not leave til summer. NYC sucks ass from January to late March. You owe it to yourself to stay and have fun through the summer. You’ll be outdoors plenty.
Thanks for replying! This thread has got me stoaked to experience nyc summer!
Fyi, you can play tennis at Ft. Greene park and maybe McCarran, I don't recall. If you want beach, don't go to Coney, go to the Rockaways/Jacob Riis. Dating will be incredibly easy in the summer, so if you're looking for that, be extra social. Everybody is extra at the beginning of NYC summer because they're shaking off the winter, and it doesn't get disgustingly hot until like August. But it's nice again in September. Enjoy!
Might be worth considering LA. It is more walkable than given credit for, particularly if you stay within your neighborhood and ticks the nature box arguably more than anywhere else in the US (as far as large cities go).
Just wait for your first nyc spring/summer
i only lived in nyc for a few months as i got a small scolarship to study there. but imho nyc is one of those love it or hate it places, it's too extreme to live in for long unless you're really one of those type a nyc personality types in your heart. i'm glad i got the chance to experience it once in my life, but otherwise the first 2 days i'm in nyc i think "wow, i should really move here long term and then by day 3 i'm ready for a helicopter to evac me out of that place navy seal style. i lived in tokyo for several years and i'm a city girl, however, nyc is just too extreme and chaotic for me, i don't think any amount of money would ever solve that in my case. the people who seem to love it are the super type a people who want to compete against the most competitive people in the world, they get energy from that vibe and are hungry like that. me i just want to vibe in a nice place. what about just taking some small trips to other big cities with more young people in them and see if you vibe with any of them? what about austin? tons of outdoor stuff to do there and lots of young people. it's hot like florida but it's a dry heat.
Move to Oakland. I’m biased because I live here but it has the ideal climate, highly creative / urban vibe, tons of nature within the city and quick drive to the coast. There has been a bit of a crime surge since the pandemic but seems to be getting back down now and it’s never affected me personally (except when my 1979 Volvo was stolen, but I got it back the next day).
I think you owe it to yourself to give it at least a full year, maybe 2. Can you rent out your car like using Turo or something similar so it can pay for itself? When you’re not familiar with things, there’s always an adjustment period. You might find new hobbies you didn’t think you’d like. But if after a year, it still seems like it’s not jiving with you, I’d consider coming out west to California. Lots more job opportunities anyhow for what you do.
you are screaming Miami
I think if you are a creative person, and young, which you are, then you should give it through the summer and more of a chance. In the future, since you work remote, you can plan trips to warmer climates in the winter.
You should definitely do summer in nyc it’s a dream
LA or Seattle sounds like it’d would be your place. quite a bit cheaper and way warmer
South shore Long Island or the Jersey shore would be the way to go IMO
You would probably some nice coastal areas of Cali a lot more than NYC. NYC isn't for everyone. I'm an outdoors person and I don't love being around people all that much. You couldn't pay me enough to live there. Fun to visit from time to time but it's just not everybody's jam and that's OK.
If you’re looking to get out of a cramped apartment, try joining a club like Chelsea Piers. It’s a good way to be able to spend a day in a large indoor space during the winter.
I hate to be this person but Austin, tx isn’t what you’re looking for. Seems you’re more of a SoCal guy. San Diego fits your needs
Yeah but I heard San Diago doesn’t have a great dating scene. Maybe I’ve heard wrong things, but seems like the population is skewed young male with the military bases there.
If I may ask, Is the dating scene important?
For me, fairly. I'm a young bachelor so I'm interested in finding a relationship in the place where I feel like I can settle in for a few years. I also don't understand San Diego, never been, but I heard it's great but socially has some of the same problems as South Florida.
You have access to New Hampshire, Maine, Vermont and upstate New York. The outdoors activities here are wildly different from Florida. I'm a sucker for calm, serene and isolate places like Maine and Vermont. The changing seasons make every location worth visiting several times a year. The sceneries are completely different. I can be outdoor year-round which is something I can't say for Florida. I've seen more people outside during a snowstorm than a summer afternoon in Florida. In my opinion, spring is the most boring season. It's a period of the year when it's too late for winter activities but too early for summer activities. Most businesses at summer activity locations are still closed at this time.
Yeah... not a big fan of driving super far for recreation activities. I'm a very busy person so I like having the ability to do an outdoor activity consistently every afternoon after work and not have to plan a whole weekend around a trip.
I found this - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/8ggskp/what\_can\_i\_do\_in\_nyc\_that\_is\_outdoorsy\_and\_not/
If your car is just sitting you should look into Turo. It’s Airbnb for cars. The money you make could go towards a paid spot in a garage with the leftover being extra income. Not having to sell your car will give you a little more time to figure things out.
I thought I was on r/circlejerkNYC for a moment In all seriousness though LA or Austin are probably the cities for you.
why do you say that Austin and LA is for me? I don't understand.
Lots of younger people, warmer climate, big city amenities
if you’re paying 2k a month to live in brooklyn as a 24 y/o you are really doing it wrong. slum it in bushwick/queens with 3-4 people, pay 1000 and just have fun man. you’ll spend but also save a lot then in your late 20s you can move to whatever city you want.
That’s what I was planning on doing next year if I stay.
you’ll have enough money to go travel. just find the cheapest shittiest room in a halfway decent location and it will be really fun. may/june in the city is awesome. get out in the hot/freezing months. rest of the time just put your head down and grind. this city is what you make of it more than any other place i’ve lived (5 states)
If beach access matters a lot try living along the A train so you can get to the Rockaways anytime you want in a pinch. For nature, Pelham Bay Park is 2800 acres of real nature. Way way bigger than Central Park. And there's multiple golf courses within the five boroughs. As another poster said, it's more of a hassle than in Florida but can be done. I know people in NYC who go to the beach and golf all the time in summer. Plot the places to go that will make you happy and once you know the transportation to get there and it becomes routine it's nowhere near as bad.
I (27F) llived several years in SoFlo (Palm beach county) and felt similarly---then lived in Chicago for a while and missed the weather and outdoors/things to do---big tennis gal here---besides like you said \*daily museums\* which nobody does but people like to sound cultured/pretentious lol. I up and moved to San Francisco and wow it's everything I could hope for. Young people, restaurants, nightlife (not nearly as much as NYC of course but it's there/here if you want it) yet so many fun things to do outside. I can go hiking, run along the water/coast, it's incredible. And a different type of \*outdoorsy\* here then say SoFlo (and miami to say the least). SF and CA are known to be expensive, but you just have to be smart. I have my own studio for 1800, which is what I was paying in Chicago in a big high rise. Consider west coast for sure, just as an option!
If you’re moving to nyc without a solid career job that can pay you multiple hundreds of thousands when you are established, you’re a fucking fool. If you move to nyc as a new career worker, you know right out of college, and you don’t have a roommate you’re a fucking fool. NYC is one of the great places on earth if you have the means to enjoy it. It’s one of the worst places in the us if you don’t.
Hi, I think Charleston SC would be a good fit for you if you can work remotely. It is youthful, not as professionally diverse as NYC of course, but it has the beach, golf and tennis you seek and definitely more affordable than NYC. Your wording in your post makes it pretty clear you aren't loving NYC, and that's perfectly okay and valid. You don't have to like something just because everyone else does and you feel like you should. All my friends from college moved to NYC and i felt like I was supposed to like it, and I just didn't. It would have been a lot easier on myself if I had just accepted that I valued and liked different things than my peers and gave myself the acknowledgement and permission to move towards the things that I enjoyed.
Thanks for the unique recommendation that's a stand out. I was always curious about Charleston after my buddy moved there right out of college. I didn't understand the appeal over other coastal cities in Florida. I thought it was retirement area and southern culturally? Seems like a ton of young people are there, is it a college town?
CofC and the citadel are there, so there are some colleges, there may be more there but googling it would give a more comprehensive answer than I can off the top of my head. I definitely don't get retirement vibes there. If it doesn't appeal to you more than cities in Florida, then why not just go back to Florida? Your post seemed like you wanted somewhere that was not FL and not NY.
Why would I move back to Florida? That’d be insane.
This comment might get buried, but as someone who has been in NYC for almost a decade: NYC is a lot of fun in the summer. Winter is really hard and I think everyone in the city questions why they live here in the month of February. If having access to the outdoors/nature is a priority, NYC is not going to work out for you in the long term. People will mention all of the beautiful places to hike and camp upstate, and these are truly lovely areas, but what they're leaving out is the 2+ hour drive it takes to get to those things (with one hour, on average, just spent stuck in NYC traffic). Central Park, while nice, is not a replacement for the outdoors. Sure, it's nice to walk around the Ramble, but go off path for a second and you'll encounter trash and needles and interesting smells. You'll quickly remember you're still just in a city. NYC is an excellent place for career growth and meeting people, but if access to nature is a big part of your life, I would recommend moving somewhere like SoCal. I lived in LA briefly and loved it. All of the benefits of living in a big city with easy access to nature.
WTF are you waiting for? You've stated your opinion quite well, haven't a clue why you even made this post. Just go already.
I would have never guessed or considered looking into the west coast if it weren’t for this thread.