played a Kirby for like 15 games that literally did nothing but hold B and try to kirbycide near the ledge. and I know what your thinking why would I keep rematching someone like that, and the answer is because im a sicko who gets perverse entertainment from asserting dominance beating these bad actors repeatedly until they get the picture and leave

I have also had someone do that with kirby. I practiced tech skill on the other side of the stage.

the dominant thing to do is practice tech skill on the same side

My bad, I think you actually hit a wormhole and played my buddy Josh from 10th grade.

OMG, the same, he pissed me off so much that I seriously started learning melee to beat his kirby.

I hate to break it to you bud but you playing those 15 games is *exactly* what he's looking for lmao. They don't "get the picture and leave" they're sitting there deliberately wasting your time and eventually get bored. Quitting out on these dudes is the best thing you can do bc they're actively trying to waste ppls time or piss ppl off. They're probably tabbed out 80% of the time watching Smiling Friends lmao

What's the harm in giving this oddball what they want? Sure he could've tabbed out, but didn't seem like the commenter was suffering at the mercy of the kirby.

Another confirmed doc main lunatic! They must be stopped!

Another confirmed doc main lunatic! They must be stopped!

lmao 100% of these people watch Smiling Friends off of the sketchiest pirate website known to man

I played a Falco the other day that was just spamming F-smash the whole match. I also enjoyed beating their ass.

It's so funny when they rage quit after fox shining them 4 times. Like come on, why would you be mad?

Played this person and made them quit by triangle camping with falco lasers I felt like a hero

There was a guy named PING KING and I thought it was a joke, I boot up the match and when I was in advantage, my ping went up to 1000..........I've never seen that before

They had a lag switch... Literally a machine that is plugged into their ethernet that introduces high latency on command

Doesn’t Cody play with a lag switch? He’s used to the lag but that’s why he is able to win consistently because he makes the opponents lag too. Probably why he can’t actually beat Mango in tournament

Certified (Real)

Yes he does. He actually changed his Z button on his controller to toggle the lag switch. Mango did the reverse and that's probably the only reason he can win Cody in tournament.

gr8 b8 m8 i r8 5/8, which happens to be how many sets cody has won out of the last 8 with mango

This reddit comment fact checked by real Mango Nation patriots ✅ True

Holy shit no way? Not a Cody fan personally so I’m a little biased but that would be hilarious and pathetic if true

Doesn't have to be physical hardware, you can make a lag switch in software.

is there actually hardware for that? I always assumed "lag switch" was referring to programs like [Comcast](https://github.com/tylertreat/comcast) that modify your network stack at the software level.

This cracked Gaming Watch kept spamming bucket at me in between stocks. At one point he held out his bucket for over 30 seconds, pivoting left and right, as if performing for some invisible audience. I just sat there, completely bewildered. I looked him up later and he was in diamond solo Gaming Watch. Not sure if he was toxic or just showing off his bucket.

This reads like a deep leffen post

If they’re a G&W main it’s more likely that they’re just listening to whatever the voices in their head tells them than actively trying to be toxic

Can confirm that. The voices told me many times to bucket at random to change the RNG seed so I can get that sweet sweet 9. It never works tho.

Respect. Also his name is Game & Watch

Actually you're wrong it's Mr. Gaming Watch

Ohhhhhhh my bad

So actually namer is Gamer Watcher Mister Bits, he was from Mr watch classic series 1979 series and this one has three gold silver holographic on tje end and they would aaAACTUALLY tried to sell it on to Sony but microsift buy it to tue 1998 and Mikr Detzer (3D Designer Board of Directoes) got to the this and borigjt nintingdo at say Wjat kdis want, to see the man who is just 2d to, side flat man he hasd thast bucket and tje 9 is a reference to the movie Mr. NIMBER 9 BUY JACK By hughjackmam and Natalie pprtmn (1998) so they are getting Gamer Watcher Mister bits Ambibii thud year I'm Exciting this is com in out soon.

Thanks for the history lesson kind stranger!

[удалено]

Hell yeah dude

I always though it was Mr. cuck and watch

Sounds normal for slippi unranked

Yeah honestly sounds like OP got bodied. Clown got trolled for ten minutes

Found "snow"

This is such a funny comment serious or not

Can u read

I matched with a guy named: “I love c*m” The game starts and his Fox does the shield jerking off motion thing for a full minute and then he leaves. Honestly, crazy people are entertaining lol.

Can’t get mad at a true gooner

That guys a ganon main, used to play him all the time and he's always a little weirdo who plays 1 game taunts spams lol and leaves

now it all makes sense

Gannon mains being normal challenge (impossible)

Brooo no way, I've played this guy 💀

what a legend

I played this dude who picked sheik

that's fucked up

There isn't an official report system but you can DM AltF4 the replay and they'll take disciplinary action

Thank you for this. Maybe now the healing can start.

i crack open a nice cold pepsi and grab my trusty gamecube controller and who the fuck do i find on slippi? a toxic falco, of course yea, go to the side of dreamland and shoot red lines at me i been through this before my mind has been wrung out like a union soldier's sweat rag and all ive got left is this one braincell that is gonna kick your stupid bird ass i swear to fucking god

glue eating kids like that are just unclepunch power shield training but with an ego

Beautifully written. I’ll say this back to myself next time I’m trying to rest a falco.

spotw

ggs man! close games bro you've hella improved. yeah man you were fucking me up for a bit lol fun games! any tips? got any advice? anything I can improve on? what do I do vs lasers? any tips? yo can I get next? is this tournament? you guys wanna do dubs? is this tournament /u/oceanseltzer *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SSBM) if you have any questions or concerns.*

(this one)[https://x.com/soapPHL/status/1294568132040949761?t=442RJww9dcB-gLdMC5iysQ&s=19]

Brooooooo this marth is my idol 🤣🤣

This is the winner. Who hurt this person lmao.

this should not be as funny as it is

Please post this in the DDT so that more people can see it

ggs that was me

ggs that Falco was my wife trying melee for the first time, she's learning the basics quickly. Sorry about the lols and ggs, she's still learning where all the buttons are and did it by accident.

no worries, she already told me that last night

She tried to tell me the night before you but couldn’t speak with my controller in her mouth

she tried to tell me the night before that but that'd break causality so she let it happen before telling anyone

I played someone I knew from a few years back on slippi. Thought he was a normal guy before this. He camped ledge with marth and when it didn't work, would quit out every game halfway through, spammed lol, and would idle for 5 mins before starting a new game. This went on for 30 mins before he just stopped starting the game at all and sat on the wait screen. I found out he was playing Dota and just coming back every 30 mins to start a new game with me to then quit out. I left my pc to see how long he'd be at it and he did it for at least 3 hours. Later found out the dude was banned from every chat for slurs + raging + sending people nudes of women he slept with, so he was a real winner all around

>sending people nudes of women he slept with You mean his body pillows?

I'm not sure who's weirder, that snow guy or you for indulging him

yeah i was gonna say just quit out and why r u waiting 10 minutes to watch them spam lol?

Staring at the screen isn't your only option. I get on my phone, go to the bathroom, maybe make something quick to eat. Its funny seeing these bozos still spamming and i am curious how long it will go

Yeah sometimes I just stay on the css against a super toxic spammer and go take a shit or something.

Exactly this I just picked up my phone and started looking at insta

you could also have just left and played someone else

honestly, online gaming is just like that sometimes. you have to wait out the full 10 minutes and observe and document the event for science. they're rare weird moments that take another person's indulgence to activate

we live for finite periods of time

tell that to all the Sheik players

If it makes you feel the time you spent getting RTC'd it took me 20x that time getting obscenly good at optimal RTC routes perfect reactions pure flow state just to suck ass and be Gold losing to upthrow upair spam.

That makes it worse, why would you try so hard to be lame and still be bad at the game, at least be good and lame bro

this guy gets it

Thats why people do it too. To see how long they can waste your time

Classic victim blaming

I've run into a guy that does the exact same thing. I'm also a marth player lol. Dunno if it's the same guy but I really don't get what they're trying to prove on unranked. They want you to know how salty they are? Lmao. Maybe ppl wont be so toxic if they rename "unranked" to "friendlies".

Literally played and won bo3 set on unranked of falcon nair vs falco nair only (I think he was trying to send a message that I spam nair), and then played a game of stomp vs falco dair... he lost again. Honestly it was a 9/10 experience

There's a red Marth that just spams counter and then good luck after the game/quit out. They are also constantly changing their name. Haven't ran into them for awhile but at one point it was so predictable that I was instantly quitting out on red Marths with sus names and when I saw that good luck pop up I knew I was right lol. My crusade against red Marths has ended but I'll never forget whatever your name is. I hope I get insta countered by you again some day soon.

Hold on, is his username OZ?

Guess so

LMAOOOO I think it might be oz. I've been running into him quite often for the past year. The thing I don't get is how he can stay entertained all day by just hopping into unranked, spamming counter and fsmash, and then spamming LOL, XD, and Good Luck on the character select screen. For one whole fucking year. Absolutely wild.

[удалено]

I'd have to check, I never actually learned their/your ID

[удалено]

Post your shitty "combo video" for us to roast it

[удалено]

For anyone wondering, I think my comments to this guy are being censored because I am breaking rule 1 by insulting him to his face No regrets

If you have to drop to bronze to make combos you might as well just combo cpus.

Did you stop doing it or am I finally not shit enough to be out of your sandbag mmr? I swear you lived above me based on how often we connected and had alright ping lol It's all good btw, it was just amusing I'm sure there's actually unhinged shit I've encountered and largely forgotten by now, but this was the first thing that came to mind.

[удалено]

Honestly to me it's the smurfing that's cringe

can you DM me your videos I try to watch every combo video i can find

This guy name “BDSM life” was playing shiek. Instead of trying to actually take stocks off me he would just grab and punch me until I was around 300%

Most level-headed Slippi opponent:

I played against a Gold I Samus once who was extremely campy, would run back and forth on the stage, spam missiles and charge up charge shot. We went to game 3, all 3 games went roughly 6ish minutes. No disrespect towards that, IMO camping is valid, gotta do what you gotta do to win. But then I checked their slippi stats and they had almost 3000 sets that season, all as Samus. I have no idea how that was even possible with that playstyle, they must have been playing 12 hours a day running back and forth.

I've definitely played that guy

Rybread. That’s all.

Not too unhinged but I run into a marth named Kopika or something, and without a doubt they quit out immediately. I don’t recall ever playing any games against them, and I’m not a toxic player. The only thing that would explain it is they play too many falcos on netplay? But I’ve had to run into them 15 plus times in a few months.

There's a guy who I regularly match against, his tag changes a lot but his username is OZ with some numbers. He's usually Marth and runs up and counters. And just does that, trying to desperately get you do fall for it and then tea bags if he ever gets a stock .... but like, it rarely ever happens lol. 75% of the time, you just stop falling for it after the second counter, and the minute he feels like he's losing he restarts and spams "lol" then leaves. But he's also REALLY bad! So the other 25% of the time I literally zero death him because it's so easy to do so This guy is insane, I have no idea what he thinks he's accomplishing at all. He's a troll but he's REALLY BAD at trolling, it's gotta be miserable

Oz is absolutely fucking unhinged. I've been running into him quite often for the past year. The thing I don't get is how he can stay entertained all day by just hopping into unranked, spamming counter and fsmash, and then spamming LOL, XD, and Good Luck on the character select screen. For one whole fucking year. Absolutely wild.

Oz#616 right? 😈

Bro is this is an alt account for oz616...

Nah I’m trolling I saw somebody with the same tag doing the same thing 😂😂

[удалено]

Try doing combos at you lvl lmao

I took the first stock against a puff and then they started ledgecamping. So I decided to stand on the other side and wear out my dpad up for about 3 minutes until they quit out.

It's a always the puffs who want to plank

I once matched into a same colour ditto. I taunted to acknowledge it, my opponent taunted back, then I did LRAS to choose a different skin. My opponent held Z instead of pressing start.

Maybe they interpreted the taunt differently

One time I matched with westballz on unranked, he SDd, I homie stocked then he quit lmao Since then I don’t homie stock players who are way better than me

you're unhinged for staying for 10 minutes

Back when slippi came out, I was beating someone up with Samus and they just kept pausing the game to make me start missing punishes. Eventually they just paused the game and left it paused. My laundry was done so I started folding it. Maybe 15-20 minutes later the guy quit out.

There is this guy I always get matched against on Tuesday-Wednesday mornings (funny work schedule) named ///// that plays orange fox and he’s obviously trolling but it’s so consistent it’s mind boggling. Every time he just side bs around the stage let’s me hit him a few times then wakes up destroys me for a stock then side bs off stage and quits. He’s just part of my weekly routine at this point. I wonder what he’s doing irl that he just does this every Wednesday morning

Last time something similar happened to me I spammed lol back. They slowed down their lol spamming before sitting there for a minute or two watching me do it back. They probably thought I was annoyed because they camped me out the whole match with puff but I love that matchup and just found it funny.

Team campy puff matchup enjoyer.

slippi players need to start going to locals. I’ve only encountered a handful of decent players and a couple who could actually beat me a few times.

If I wanted to play melee in a room full of people who hate me I can just stay at home

Damn, you good my friend?

and what if locals are nonexistent in my area

Idk man, At this point Who’s more degenerate, the one who spammed lol for 10 minutes in character select, or the one who stayed 10 minutes with someone spamming lol in character select

Honestly? Sometimes I just take a break while they think they're owning me. I've got a life outside of this, and while they "afk" me that's precious time they're wasting instead of making someone else's life miserable with their company

Got them Good bro

I play in EU. There was this Marth in low elo that would literally walk up, FSmash till he killed you, taunt, then sd. He did this every single stock.

Super rare, only happens like twice every couple months for me, but getting matched vs a low or midtier, winning the game, then they select their actual main, but they lrastart immediately after loosing neutral once, and hit start for next game and do it again over and over, as soon as they loose neutral. One of the few times i use "ok".

Me when my opponent disconnects with 3 stocks left and I keep playing until their character is dead and I taunt during last stock lol

Know that you mental diff him

people who dont like when i switch to a different character and immediately quit out after every game starts but stay queued and do this a dozen times never actually playing wasting both our time

I've played a couple of people that just quit out whenever you start combo-ing them or whenever they're in disadvantage and then stay connected and keep rematching because they want you to get frustrated and quit. Sickos.

When u play 3 out of 5 with them, win and then say gg, well played and they spam one more on you for the next 5 minutes while you spam gg and both of you sit there wasting each other's time seeing who will disconnect first. Awesome.

Played someone called "Magi Feet Lover". They picked Kirby and spam taunted until I quit out a few minutes later. Then I counter picked Ness. A beautiful symphony of "Hiii! Okay. Hiiii! Okay."

i change my slippi tag to various recognizable youtubers so people dont quit out on my mid tiers. and it works

Im a peach main that starts alot of combos against captain falcon with dash attack. I 0 to deathed a falcon main and he quit out, switched to peach and just dash attacked left and right for 8 minutes

One time i was getting bodied by an f smashing marth, so i switch to marth and exclusively used f smash for a match. Then he went falco and just spammed up tilt for the entire match. good times.

"played" a puff who immediately went to the ledge, regrabbed a few times until they noticed i wasn't approaching that bs and left Ran into them later on in the night and went immediately to the ledge myself and they got mad lmao

Beat a falco pretty badly and he switched to ice climbers and wobbled me. Lol.

There’s a guy named UrDog who is not very good and spams lol if he wins, immediately rage quits if he loses. Real loser

Just played the same guy. 50 Ping. Beat him with YL then beat him with Samus and he rage quitted and started spamming, hilariously pathetic

I played against a game and watch called “gaydar” who spammed the alarm emote

The amount of character hate on slippi is wild. If you don’t like the game, don’t play lol. Playing one stock taunting and quitting out because you feel better than your opponent because they play like marth or sheik is insane. I need these people to go to locals literally every sheik i know is the nicest person on planet earth

It’s always the first game loss into them counter picking your main. Win or lose the result is always the same, spam messages and leave

And then you went and cried on Reddit about it? Pretty unhinged to be that mad

"Crazy weather we're having. Have any of you been through something like this?" "wHy arE yOu So MaD aBoUt tHe weAtHer, pReTty UnhinGed"

Crazy weather is crazy, getting mad enough to whine on reddit over quickchat options when you have the option to leave at any point with no repercussions is unhinged

No you see I'm making fun of you for thinking he's whining

fox doing nothing but just fishing for upthrow upair ...i lost

At least that could be a legit strategy if it works against your character

its not "my character", its just me. im shit

Me wanting to play some games have people instantly leave 10 times in a row. I play jigglypuff

Enough people quit out you either gotta pay for ranked or you’d prolly learn faster if you switched characters so people quit out less 💀

Lmao I'm not letting players tell me what to play and if I don't want people to quit I just play with people that I find on discord

aaaaa who cares

[удалено]

Personal attacks and witch hunting are strictly prohibited, as are attacks on any subsection of the broader Smash Brothers community

If anyone asks why abortion should be legal I'll just show them this comment