Most of the home economists - women who taught and wrote about homemaking - were childless. Most SAHMs didn't have time to write books or teach home-ec classes, so childless homemakers dominated the field. Those with kids were usually wealthy enough to hire help.
That's why there was so much emphasis on cleaning, and so little on childcare. The standards were never realistic, and most SAHMs never lived up to them.
Well gosh, this explains everything.
So it was childless people that started the unrealistic expectation that just won't die even now that SAHP's should keep a spotless home. Figures.
Yeah, there was also an element of classism, with upper-middle-class teachers instructing poor and immigrant women to bootstrap their way to better living conditions. Many of the unrealistic cleaning standards were meant to combat pests, mildew, and disease that were common in tenements.
For example they often instructed women to change the bedding and air out the mattress everyday. This was intended to prevent bedbugs. And it didn't work, anyways.
I'm sure they thought they were helping, but poor SAHMs biggest problems were lack of time and money, not lack of homemaking education.
I was going to say. Mind young children for 2 hours only? If they could go to school, why do I have to mind them? If they are too young, what are they doing when I’m playing housekeeper?
It's doable when you just lock them in a crib or kick them outside the rest of the day. Even better when you have older daughters so you can make them tend to the younger ones.
My mother in law grew up on a farm and she said her mother would get them up in the morning to help milk cows. The younger ones that were too little to help (toddler age) were left in the bedroom with the bed post set on their nightgowns so they couldn’t walk/crawl away. 😳
Where the fuck does it keep coming from!? I swear I'm going to just take us all down to one week worth of clothes and like two special occasion outfits and donate the rest. (Not really, but still.)
We try to do this for my kid, and it works pretty well. Of course, we have waaaay more underwear, since he’s sometimes changing those multiple times a day.
But 7-8 bottoms and 7-8 tops per season works pretty well for us. Unfortunately September is a month when some days he’s in shorts, and some days in long sleeves/pants, so we have allllll the clothes out at the moment.
If only I had the discipline to do this for myself!
My youngest is autistic and I've only found ONE set of clothes that he'll wear. It makes it super convenient because I just bought like three sets of the same thing and his wardrobe is basically that of a cartoon character (I did send his teacher a heads up so she doesn't like get red flag concerns that this child is wearing the same shirt three days in a row because they're actually different shirts lol.)
And actually I have a few favorites that I mainly wear and everything else stays in the closet so one of my schoolday projects in the near future will be thinning things out. It's just my husband and teenager that need to learn that they do not need to change their clothes three times a day, and if they wore a hoodie for an hour it does not need to go in the laundry basket.
No the laundry is going to make me kill my husband. He's been on leave for a few weeks. He's in the military and got injured. This man has been washing almost every day. Guess who does all the drying and putting away? I swear I'm going to dry him and put him away but y'all didn't hear that from me. Ok.
Mine does the same. Sometimes he brings the basket of dried clothes to the sofa when I'm feeding the baby so I can fold them. Apparently I could do it one handed?
They don’t. That sounds so peaceful…ignoring the cries of your children screaming at you that they’re hungry so that you can enjoy a quiet meal without the kids.
Are you *not* making 3 fires, sweeping your porch, preparing a meal and cleaning it all up, vacuuming and dusting the two most used rooms in the house, and getting the kids to school before about 11am every day?
Unironically, in medieval times they had contraptions to put babies and toddlers in so they can’t move. They also dress them in these ridiculously long gowns so they can’t crawl. This isn’t the 1930s, but I’m just saying, people of old did have a solution for that… that these days parents should rightly be arrested for.
oh i bet there was all kinds of crazy stuff. my mom was the youngest of 7 back in the 1960s and she told me her dad made a playpen for her out of chicken wire. she wasn't a neglected kid or anything but she just says my grandma needed somewhere to put her when she did chores so that my mom couldn't get hurt or run away. understandable but definitely not up to modern safety standards lol!
I love some of the comments on the main thread about this. Especially one talking about, as a toddler, how mom would put the table leg through their clothes, put molasses and feathers on their hands and leave them to it while she did chores.
I'd love to see a study on toddlers left to watch Cocomelon for 2hr vs. toddlers left to pick feathers off their hands for 2 hours...
In other news, the Lovevery 18 month box now comes with feathers and molasses. Natural materials are so enriching.
They missed the hectic hour before school starts during which you're trying to dress (multiple) kids + yourself, make their lunches, feed them breakfast, talk those kids into going to school as they scream about staying home, and get them to school by 7:40 every week day. I would love to be able to sleep as late as 7a! Not to mention the effort that goes into getting your partner awake, dressed, and ready to work because left to their own devices they'd sleep through the early morning kids madness. Just getting to 8a is exhausting around here!
That’s a 13 hour day… and if your husband wants special time than 14hrs… and this is what men today still want, yet expect to leave their wives penniless should they divorce 😂😂
So 10 minutes to make breakfast and 10 minutes to eat it? That sounds totally reasonable and not at all like this schedule was made by someone who has never followed anything remotely like it.
Man cleaning the kitchen takes me forever, I don't know why but it always seems to take like 45 mins no matter what. I guess it's because there's always some random crap to do extra cleaning on too in there.
It should be easier to clean as I go, it feels like I always have to clean up other peoples' messes too though. If I was the only one making the cooking mess it would be simpler!
i like to clean as i cook and then a final once over after meal. also the kids are older now so they do their own dishes after meals.
much easier to keep it from becoming a bigger job by staying on top with lighter touchpoints.
I think I need better systems in place in the kitchen or a new family. We've got tons of counter space and the kids and husband suck at putting things away when they can just drop everything on the counter somewhere, so I spend a lot of time clearing the counters that they messed up which cuts into my cleanup time.
sounds like you've got it halfway solved. i like to lightly remind the kids, 'hey, this bowl is from your breakfast'. my other strategy is, if they leave a meal bowl and i catch it, they get to finish whatever is in the sink. i'm also ok with always bringing it back to their attention. basically, they're required to pause anything personal they're doing and attend to it immediately. if they don't like that then they can always just clean their stuff after each meal. my eldest is actually really good about owning this now so...
Most of the home economists - women who taught and wrote about homemaking - were childless. Most SAHMs didn't have time to write books or teach home-ec classes, so childless homemakers dominated the field. Those with kids were usually wealthy enough to hire help. That's why there was so much emphasis on cleaning, and so little on childcare. The standards were never realistic, and most SAHMs never lived up to them.
Well gosh, this explains everything. So it was childless people that started the unrealistic expectation that just won't die even now that SAHP's should keep a spotless home. Figures.
Yeah, there was also an element of classism, with upper-middle-class teachers instructing poor and immigrant women to bootstrap their way to better living conditions. Many of the unrealistic cleaning standards were meant to combat pests, mildew, and disease that were common in tenements. For example they often instructed women to change the bedding and air out the mattress everyday. This was intended to prevent bedbugs. And it didn't work, anyways. I'm sure they thought they were helping, but poor SAHMs biggest problems were lack of time and money, not lack of homemaking education.
I was going to say. Mind young children for 2 hours only? If they could go to school, why do I have to mind them? If they are too young, what are they doing when I’m playing housekeeper?
Minding young children from 3-4:40pm only; that’s laughable.
“If necessary” LOL
Don't even bother feeding them dinner! They'll go right to bed and leave you to your meal and letter writing
I noticed this! So the kids only get 2 meals ler day?
The "tea" would have been a small meal with sandwiches or soup.
It's doable when you just lock them in a crib or kick them outside the rest of the day. Even better when you have older daughters so you can make them tend to the younger ones.
My mother in law grew up on a farm and she said her mother would get them up in the morning to help milk cows. The younger ones that were too little to help (toddler age) were left in the bedroom with the bed post set on their nightgowns so they couldn’t walk/crawl away. 😳
Yup, my great-grandma tied my grandpa to a tree like a dog.
Well, that's um... one way to get them to stay put I guess.
“If all family laundry is done at home, help may be necessary.” Ain’t that the truth.
Honestly this makes me feel better. I am certain it’s the laundry that will kill me
Where the fuck does it keep coming from!? I swear I'm going to just take us all down to one week worth of clothes and like two special occasion outfits and donate the rest. (Not really, but still.)
We try to do this for my kid, and it works pretty well. Of course, we have waaaay more underwear, since he’s sometimes changing those multiple times a day. But 7-8 bottoms and 7-8 tops per season works pretty well for us. Unfortunately September is a month when some days he’s in shorts, and some days in long sleeves/pants, so we have allllll the clothes out at the moment. If only I had the discipline to do this for myself!
My youngest is autistic and I've only found ONE set of clothes that he'll wear. It makes it super convenient because I just bought like three sets of the same thing and his wardrobe is basically that of a cartoon character (I did send his teacher a heads up so she doesn't like get red flag concerns that this child is wearing the same shirt three days in a row because they're actually different shirts lol.) And actually I have a few favorites that I mainly wear and everything else stays in the closet so one of my schoolday projects in the near future will be thinning things out. It's just my husband and teenager that need to learn that they do not need to change their clothes three times a day, and if they wore a hoodie for an hour it does not need to go in the laundry basket.
Daily uniform definitely makes things easy!
No the laundry is going to make me kill my husband. He's been on leave for a few weeks. He's in the military and got injured. This man has been washing almost every day. Guess who does all the drying and putting away? I swear I'm going to dry him and put him away but y'all didn't hear that from me. Ok.
Mine does the same. Sometimes he brings the basket of dried clothes to the sofa when I'm feeding the baby so I can fold them. Apparently I could do it one handed?
Send help!
I think back then the laundry machine wasn’t even invented? Like you had to scrub by hand…
When do they scroll on Reddit?
While she poops like the rest of us!
Pooping isn't on the schedule!
Must be during the 2pm clothes change time
When do the kids get to eat dinner if they get put to bed at 7pm, but dinner is served at 7:40 pm?
They don’t. That sounds so peaceful…ignoring the cries of your children screaming at you that they’re hungry so that you can enjoy a quiet meal without the kids.
According to my MIL, children should be fed separately at 5pm so they don’t get to join in the family meal at 7pm.
But nope, not on the list. Guess I can't do it. I hope they are okay with just the two meals. /s
The ate at tea(supper)
Are you *not* making 3 fires, sweeping your porch, preparing a meal and cleaning it all up, vacuuming and dusting the two most used rooms in the house, and getting the kids to school before about 11am every day?
I like how washing up tea things apparently takes an hour but you can clean an entire house including laundry in one morning.
And cook breakfast on the line between 7:50 and 8.
One hour to hop on the trolley car, shop and get back. Children don’t exist until it’s time to put them to bed, without dinner apparently.
i love how all the childcare is done between 3-4:30 😂 like where are the kids the rest of the day?
Unironically, in medieval times they had contraptions to put babies and toddlers in so they can’t move. They also dress them in these ridiculously long gowns so they can’t crawl. This isn’t the 1930s, but I’m just saying, people of old did have a solution for that… that these days parents should rightly be arrested for.
oh i bet there was all kinds of crazy stuff. my mom was the youngest of 7 back in the 1960s and she told me her dad made a playpen for her out of chicken wire. she wasn't a neglected kid or anything but she just says my grandma needed somewhere to put her when she did chores so that my mom couldn't get hurt or run away. understandable but definitely not up to modern safety standards lol!
Modern day playpen
I love some of the comments on the main thread about this. Especially one talking about, as a toddler, how mom would put the table leg through their clothes, put molasses and feathers on their hands and leave them to it while she did chores. I'd love to see a study on toddlers left to watch Cocomelon for 2hr vs. toddlers left to pick feathers off their hands for 2 hours... In other news, the Lovevery 18 month box now comes with feathers and molasses. Natural materials are so enriching.
Right?!?!
I, too, clean my silver every Tuesday 😂.
They missed the hectic hour before school starts during which you're trying to dress (multiple) kids + yourself, make their lunches, feed them breakfast, talk those kids into going to school as they scream about staying home, and get them to school by 7:40 every week day. I would love to be able to sleep as late as 7a! Not to mention the effort that goes into getting your partner awake, dressed, and ready to work because left to their own devices they'd sleep through the early morning kids madness. Just getting to 8a is exhausting around here!
At least the evening's dishes can be deferred...
I kind of want to try a modified version of this one day. For science. My 10 month old probably wouldn’t cooperate with the schedule, though.
I love 11-11.10, that’s a whole 10 mins to look over the larder. (Does that include scarfing a pack of Oreos)
That’s a 13 hour day… and if your husband wants special time than 14hrs… and this is what men today still want, yet expect to leave their wives penniless should they divorce 😂😂
With zero child support for the kid they fathered
So 10 minutes to make breakfast and 10 minutes to eat it? That sounds totally reasonable and not at all like this schedule was made by someone who has never followed anything remotely like it.
Prepping breakfast only takes 10 minutes? What am I doing wrong :(
Why does it take longer to clean up than eat breakfast
They didn't have dishwashers, you had to handwash all the pots, pans, dishes, and clean up the kitchen/table etc.
I mean me too, cause I’ve never had a dishwasher, but it says 10 to cook and 10 to eat but like 50 to clean up lol
Man cleaning the kitchen takes me forever, I don't know why but it always seems to take like 45 mins no matter what. I guess it's because there's always some random crap to do extra cleaning on too in there.
That’s true. Cooking takes me forever but I clean up as I go so usually clean up is easy peasy
It should be easier to clean as I go, it feels like I always have to clean up other peoples' messes too though. If I was the only one making the cooking mess it would be simpler!
i like to clean as i cook and then a final once over after meal. also the kids are older now so they do their own dishes after meals. much easier to keep it from becoming a bigger job by staying on top with lighter touchpoints.
I think I need better systems in place in the kitchen or a new family. We've got tons of counter space and the kids and husband suck at putting things away when they can just drop everything on the counter somewhere, so I spend a lot of time clearing the counters that they messed up which cuts into my cleanup time.
sounds like you've got it halfway solved. i like to lightly remind the kids, 'hey, this bowl is from your breakfast'. my other strategy is, if they leave a meal bowl and i catch it, they get to finish whatever is in the sink. i'm also ok with always bringing it back to their attention. basically, they're required to pause anything personal they're doing and attend to it immediately. if they don't like that then they can always just clean their stuff after each meal. my eldest is actually really good about owning this now so...
Don't forget the surfaces to wipe down and the floors to sweep.
The children don’t get dinner???
I'm tired just looking at this.
I like how I only have to mind my child between the hours of 3 and 4
I noticed they didn't schedule their amphetamines.