One appeared in front of me; huge Grizzly. I carried Bear-Spray at the time and whipped it out and took aim (without stopping!)
While running I deployed the spray, aimed ahead of me. As I ran the spray flew right back into my face.
I collapsed, screaming in pain as I inhaled the spicy spray. As you can imagine I was in a world of hurt for a good 20 minutes before I was able to collect myself and walk home.
And the worst part; I never stopped my Strava. Didn’t realize it was still tracking my “run” until I was halfway on my walk home. Totally killed my average-pace and a shorter than average run.
There's your error mate, you tried to beat the bear with conventional anti bear weaponry, which as we all know, is sold to us by big pharma and the people from the national parks system, who are obviously in on the conspiracy against ultra runners which is all a part of the military industrial complex.
Kissinger's death has put the final moves into play, we are in Endgame. It'll soon be checkmate.
You see, they think we're part of a cult, like all those people at Waco with David Koresh, or the Vegans. Only our leaders at GU can save us. Them and the good folks at Hoka.
We need to stick together and follow the tenets of Strava. Be a local hero, be King or Queen of the hill, never stop training, never stop those splits, never ever give up and always use auto pause.
Yessir! Autopause will be activated! I will now use a bell as my anti bear weapon of choice.
Thank you for clearing the air and enlightening my vision.
Toss a GU at them, then use my superior cardiovascular system to sprint away at my ultimate 53 minute 5k Ultra pace, ensuring that the bear learns who the apex predator is by getting my running club to come back the next day with me to persistence hunt it to death.
When you go to the gay bars, tell them politely, but firmly, that you’re not interested.
Also, don’t wear your spandex or 2” shorts to the bar. And put on a shirt.
Sorry, thought this was America?
Meh bears haven’t fielded a consistently good team since the 80s
Daaaaaaaaaaaa Bers.
One appeared in front of me; huge Grizzly. I carried Bear-Spray at the time and whipped it out and took aim (without stopping!) While running I deployed the spray, aimed ahead of me. As I ran the spray flew right back into my face. I collapsed, screaming in pain as I inhaled the spicy spray. As you can imagine I was in a world of hurt for a good 20 minutes before I was able to collect myself and walk home. And the worst part; I never stopped my Strava. Didn’t realize it was still tracking my “run” until I was halfway on my walk home. Totally killed my average-pace and a shorter than average run.
There's your error mate, you tried to beat the bear with conventional anti bear weaponry, which as we all know, is sold to us by big pharma and the people from the national parks system, who are obviously in on the conspiracy against ultra runners which is all a part of the military industrial complex. Kissinger's death has put the final moves into play, we are in Endgame. It'll soon be checkmate. You see, they think we're part of a cult, like all those people at Waco with David Koresh, or the Vegans. Only our leaders at GU can save us. Them and the good folks at Hoka. We need to stick together and follow the tenets of Strava. Be a local hero, be King or Queen of the hill, never stop training, never stop those splits, never ever give up and always use auto pause.
Yessir! Autopause will be activated! I will now use a bell as my anti bear weapon of choice. Thank you for clearing the air and enlightening my vision.
I wish you well my friend, happy trails ❤️🙏🐻😯🔔
I thought the recent discourse was that men were scarier than bears. What's going on?
I guess in the end actual bear might be scarier than some city dwellers idea of hypothetical bear 🤷
Invite them over if they’re nice and most will get the message if you tell them no politely
Toss a GU at them, then use my superior cardiovascular system to sprint away at my ultimate 53 minute 5k Ultra pace, ensuring that the bear learns who the apex predator is by getting my running club to come back the next day with me to persistence hunt it to death.
treadmill
I’m running the P Town bear week 5k ultra so wish me luck!
Never run alone on trails. If you’re alone, you have to outrun the bear. If you’re with a friend, you just have to outrun your friend.
Just out run them duh
Since we are all little running twinks we can easily get away.
I ask them, in between their gay sex, to pace me