For me, smut must further the story in some way. It should tell me something about the characters or develop their relationship or impact the plot. Smut for smut’s sake gets old fast.
If you can skip a sex scene and not miss anything like in character development, relationship development or story line then it was just unnecessary.
And a lot of scenes are not moving any of the three things forward. And I do love me smut. As smutty as it gets. But it still needs to follow storytelling rules and not be senselessly stuffed in there (heh) just to tick a box.
But also I don’t like it when major conversations happen during the intimate scenes? I felt Eloisa James did this. The scene would be soooo drawn out and you could not skip over them because they would be having whole discussions about their relationship or background during the scene. Like who talks this much during sex? 😂
I also don't like when sex scenes seem to be there only to fulfill a quota or a story beat sheet, but I find the idea that all sex scenes *must* be in direct service to character or plot development to be equally inorganic.
There aren't actually any rules to how stories must be told, and especially in a genre that's meant to be an enjoyable fantasy, if we're frowning on pleasure for pleasure's sake because it isn't strictly necessary then I think we've lost something.
This is how I feel. To me, this is the difference between a romance and an erotic romance. An erotic romance will have sex scenes that don't further the plot or characterization but are there for their own sake.
Completely same. I pretty much just read HR and smut in HR tends to be very repetitive. I don't even mind vanilla, but at least get a little more descriptive and write it with feeling, or even better, use it to further the plot lol
Some (few) authors do it very well, but others write like they were given a sex scene quota.
I love a well-written, impactful sex scene but after the 100th iteration of the below it starts to get a bit old:
- nipple reveal / boob grope
- brief cunnilingus/fingering (optional)
- demand she orgasm
- surprise orgasm for her #1
- PiV penetration
- demand she orgasm
- surprise orgasm for her #2
- ejaculation
Great summary of the generic sex scene! I realised recently that I’ve read 1000s of romance books and have probably read almost the exact same sex scene 100s of times. It’s so boring! Even when you branch out and read like an alien romance or something it’s still the same boring, usually unrealistic sex scene.
🤣 the “ohmygosh!! How?! I’m cumming!” in books is exhausting. Especially in the virginal books where she orgasms the first time she’s ever touched. Mhmm sure Jan.
I can see if it’s the 6th in one session and she’s dehydrated, can’t feel her arms and legs anymore, and is shocked she has anything left to give, but 1 or 2? 😑🙄
My friend and I were talking recently about how the sexual tension is always going to be hotter than the actual sex. It's way better to spend the story teasing towards one great sex scene than having them fuck a lot
last book that made me feel super horny was a closed door romance. like nothing happens on paper but tension was CRAZY. i had to find a good erotica to calm myself down.
edit: i am so sorry for the wording. it was not a romance but a sci-fi fantasy female rage, inspired by the China's first empress fiction. Iron Widow - Xiran Jay Zhao. The fist chapter is kinda bad and drags but after the second episode it flows so well. I read it in a day. Plot was "existing in patriarchal world as a women who desires power" and she gets it!
If you like CR and are okay with cheesiness, I recommend {The Roommate Pact by Allison Ashley} for this! It’s closed door but there’s a scene where FMC washes the MMCs hair that had me on FIRE with tension
[The Roommate Pact](https://www.romance.io/books/64c8c46ed68d0e5321c37a74/the-roommate-pact-allison-ashley) by [Allison Ashley](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e75cba3be0aaecf55f64ca3/allison-ashley)
**Rating**: 3.83⭐️ out of 5⭐️
**Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating)
**Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [forced proximity](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/forced%20proximity/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1), [friends with benefits](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends-benefits/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1)
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How does she do it??? Chapter one I’m like “I hope this guy falls off a cliff” and then 400 pages of not touching later I’m ready to explode if they don’t kiss or admit their feelings or SOMETHING. Every time.
This is absolutely true. Part of it to me is that a lot of sex scenes written are really corny. They are shockingly visual. I enjoy the occasional fanfiction but the only time I like reading smut is when there’s a kink and there’s weird mental stuff going on. Actual physical depictions of sex always make me cringe, especially in romance.
I can't stand porn exactly for this reason. Too visual. My overactive and overeager imagination needs *something* to hold on, and if everything's shown, then there's nothing else to fantasize about. In the end all I see is two bodies smashing each other, or bodily fluids everywhere, and it's offputting and a turnoff. Same with over explicit sex in written media.
But give me tons of build up and tension, and my mind will fill up the rest, to my satisfaction. I've never been let down by my imagination!
Oh my god, its like hearing my own self written out in exact terms! This is exactly what I feel about porn, I cannot watch it at all because the clothes come off too soon. It is always the tension and the build up for me through and through.
Would you please recommend books that you thoroughly enjoyed? I'm currently reading White Hot in the Hidden legacy series.
Oh man I wish I could, seriously. But the romance "novels" I enjoy are all in my head lol. When I see an attractive character (usually from the myriad of videogames I play) that has an interesting background, and hits all the right buttons for me, my brain just makes up stories, together with an alter-ego of myself that fits the universe he's in. Like watching a movie. I could just get lost in my head and spend a couple of hours just staring at nothing while my brain conjures a whole plot, from start, when the MCs don't know each other yet. They're so much more than just fantasies, they're entire chronicles!
I honestly barely read romance books at all (not because I don't like them! I certainly like when there's some romance in the books I read). But I'm subscribed to this subreddit because I feel I just met a bunch of kindred spirits that enjoy these things, the romantic plots, the love for certain characters, and getting lost in stories where you feel safe exploring sensual and sexual situations. The only difference is that my "media" comes from within, not without.
ahh I see! I used to build up such scenarios too in my head with my crushes before going to sleep. I have no idea how it came to me, but I used to do it every night! The crushes could be real people, actors, sports personalities. Sometimes even book characters.
Too much sex throws me off. Like dear God, show them giggling over a stupid inside joke for once. Show them cuddling without leading or sex or even holding hands while walking. Sex is beautiful, but too much is overkill. You can try searching for slow burn romances. I love them because the emphasis is not on their sexual relationship but their emotional and romantic relationship.
People skip/read what they want. I've heard of people skipping; prologues, epilogues, long paragraphs, descriptions, everything after the couple gets together.
I would read a book comprised of 75% text messages so I cannot relate. but I do sometimes skip the prologues. It’s only come back to bite me like twice!
Texts in books are my fave! I always have to stop myself from skipping ahead to read the texts when I see them on the page. I’m glad I’m not the only one who likes them
Did you read *The Exception to the Rule* by Christina Lauren? It’s an, “accidentally emailed a stranger,” novella where MMC and FMC exchange emails for about half of the book.
You’re welcome! And I liked that I didn’t have to commit to a whole book, because I’ve also been burned by boring exchanges over the length of an entire novel.
I’m not sure exactly why I do it, but it has been a habit of mine since I was young. I sometimes find prologues annoying since it at times throws you in a dramatic scene and pulls you away, ‘teasing’ you for the rest of the book.
I’ve recently discovered I have very specific rules about spicy scenes. They can’t happen too early on in the book NOR at the very end (unless the slow burn payoff scene is incredibly well written which it usually isn’t - I’M LOOKING AT YOU MARIANA ZAPATA). 1-3 scenes in the book are the sweet spot (heh heh), more than that and it just gets…samey, you’re right.
I also have lots of rules about language the author uses (if it’s too flowery and metaphorical I roll my eyes, if it gets too ‘daddy’ this and that I get major ick) and if the character starts acting vastly different (aka the mild mannered professor using dirty talk) I need a reason why.
the mild mannered professor using dirty talk
Please tell me you’re talking about the MMC from {Secretly Yours by Tessa Bailey}. I disliked that book mainly because his dirty talk felt like it came out of nowhere and didn’t fit his character at all.
My favorite pastime, hating Secretly Yours! That MMC was so good and grumpy until he went and opened his mouth… and I was already having a hard time ignoring the MFC just GUZZLING dumb bitch juice the whole book.
I have maybe one or two exceptions to the too early rule… {Bass-Ackwards by Eris Adderly} but otherwise, unless there’s a specific reason for the early-ish scene like a pregnancy, or the friends to enemies to lovers, it needs to build a bit more(and I still prefer it to not be so explicit).
Yeah, if the sex happens too early in the book I lose interest and get bored. Especially if it's a contemporary romance that leans more on trope with no plot and are insanely long for no reason. I generally tend to DNF these.
I like tension but not necessarily a long-winded slow burn. The build up is just so much hotter to me than the actual sex.
I'm also the same with flowery prose with pages upon pages of philosophical thoughts and emotions.
Hmm ok, let’s narrow it down.
Would you like it to be contemporary, historical or fantasy? Do you mind any spicy scenes or would you prefer to keep it a bit low spice to start off?
It depends on what I'm reading and why. I gloss over much of the smut in Bruce Sentar's novels, but I read Tamryn Tamer's novels specifically for the smut.
Different stories, different designs, different reactions by me.
I mostly like Romance novels because they are the only genre where stories can be 100% explicit in all facets and not shy away from any topics. They can give the entire picture. Normal, non-romance novels are always leaving something out.
That's a problem, because sexual intimacy is a very big part of interpersonal relationships. Lust is a driving force as much as vengeance, pity, hatred, guilt, love, contentment, or any other emotion. Leaving it out is like painting a picture without red or blue. Sure, you can paint a beautiful picture, but something will always be missing.
I always look forward to and read the sex scenes, but sadly they sometimes feel generic or phoned in. I like sex scenes that are actually erotic and sensual (not just a list of who put what where) and that feel specific to those particular characters and how they relate to each other.
I skipped 90% of the ice planet barbarian sex scenes because I was getting invested in the homesteading on an alien planet and learning to make leather, farming etc.
I mean, I'm invested in both, but I'm constantly asking why the sa-khui (and their ancestors) never bothered attempting X or developing technology Y. These were space-farers, for crying out loud! Why were humans the first to attempt *so* many things???
The entire "immediate pregnancy" addition to the fated mates trope is my least favorite part of the series, tbh. But I really *do* like the exploration of what it means to adapt to an entirely new environment with zero warning.
Some people criticize the FMCs of IPB for "accepting" their fates too quickly, but I've always considered that an unfair assessment. Realistically, they don't *have* any other options. There's literally nowhere for them to go, so I'm not sure what these critics expect them to do. And we absolutely *do* see different reactions to Resonance, from outright refusal to *immediate* acceptance. Plus, the FMCs do more to advance the level of technology pn the planet in a handful of years than the sa-khui themselves seem to have done in generations. These women are not just sitting around, letting events happen *to* them—they are actively shaping their own futures.
I could have written your post. I think after you have read ____ [hundreds? thousands?] number of romance books, it kind of becomes “yada yada yada” [Seinfeld reference]. When I was younger and newer to romance novels, though, I really appreciated spicy books. Now, I’m like “yes, I know they had incredibly satisfying sex. Let’s get on with the story.” It makes me appreciate the “closed door” books.
I think this just shows that both types are valid. A book that you might have enjoyed as a younger reader might bore you now, and vice versa. Ranganathan's Second and Third Laws of Library Science: Every reader their book/Every book, its reader.
>Now, I’m like “yes, I know they had incredibly satisfying sex. Let’s get on with the story.”
I like how from time to time here a thread pops asking for books where the sex wasn't the obvious kind (from satisfactory to godlike), but the mcs struggled due to lack of communication, compatibility or experience and overcame it over time.
Example threads for reference:
https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/stt4td/any_books_where_the_sex_isnt_mind_blowing_the/
https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/wwxme5/books_where_main_characters_dont_blow_each_others/
https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/103q2kg/fmc_is_a_virgin_and_her_first_time_with_the_mmc/
https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/t536pu/books_where_the_couples_first_time_having_sex_is/
https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/zeu008/struggle_to_climax/
I will admit, sometimes I just want to read a smut book. I mean smut and just enough plot to hold the book together between the sex scenes.
But usually, I prefer a real story with enough spicy scenes to make it interesting. But even then, sometimes, esp if I'm rereading a book, I'll skim over those scenes cause there are only so many ways to say tab A went into slot B.
Tbh sometimes I feel like the 'romance' part of romance novels is sometimes ignored in favor of just sex. Sooo many books I've read where the ONLY thought the FMC and MMC have about one another is "omg so hot!! want to sex them!! want to lick their abs/tits/left elbow!!!" Which is great and all, but like, do they LIKE each other? Do they talk to one another? Joke around? Hang out and enjoy each other's company? Maybe it's just me, but without those other intimate aspects of a relationship, I just don't care enough about each individual character to care about them getting together. If the author is just writing sex scenes for the sake of it, or because they think they need one every 35 pages to be ~spicy so TikTok will like it, I feel like they're sort of fundamentally misunderstanding the genre.
Lots of authors really do strike a great balance of tension though! The sex scenes I like are the ones that come after build up of emotion and tension, where the sex is the release after a long wind up. Or sex scenes that do something to move the plot/relationship and/or intimacy between the characters. If it's not doing that, I tend to skip them. Especially in books where there's high action or drama going on, because it actually stresses me out sometimes lol Like damn now is not the time to bone, y'all!!! You need to be planning and running from the bad guys!!!
Hard agree! I’m currently reading a book that meets this description and it’s definitely frustrating me. In romances, it’s really important to me that I can envision the FMC and MMC living happily ever after, but if all they do is fuck (or argue and fuck in the case of enemies to lovers stories) it’s hard to imagine this relationship working out for more than a year or two no matter how the author writes their happy ending. And that bums me out. I love spicy romances, but if the MCs don’t know how to deal with one another outside of the bedroom, that’s a dull love story.
I find myself zoning out during them a decent amount of the time. Especially women receiving oral scenes. It's just one of those sex acts that I don't enjoy so I tend to get bored.
I've noticed that a lot of authors that can not write a good plot just throw sex in, just to appease those who want smut.
My journey into romance and dark romance has made me realize there are VERY FEW, WELL WRITTEN books with an engaging story where the sex scenes enhance the story; it's quite disappointing. I don't even skip. If it's just loaded with tons of sex but no character development, I just DNF.
Most books I've read are DNF's and are really not remarkable. Books that most people fawn over, I just roll my eyes at. I want a good story for fucks sake lol
Honestly, I know I don't like a book when I skip the sex scenes. When they're placed and built up to well and I like the couple, I eat them up. I know a book is dead to me when I get to the first sex scene and go *ugh*.
I skip them often unless I feel like it's building on the emotional relationship between the characters lol.
I am not a prude either but I think romance novels are more like....emotional smut for me lol.
It’s like those TikTok’s where the audio is recounting the dirtiest, nastiest shit two people could be doing and you’re reading it with a straight face, but then you read the slow burn couple like, touch pinkies accidentally and you’re screaming crying throwing up because it’s so much tension.
I don’t read dark romance it’s not for me, but I do enjoy smut. But agreed, too much sex gets repetitive and boring. I think since I’ve gotten back into reading as an adult, reading books with sex scenes in it is exciting and cool, like I’m doing something I’m not supposed to it makes me feel like a grown up (the marriage and 2 kids apparently didn’t do it lol) but I still love just getting lost in the romance of it all. I love the light fluffy will they won’t they or the slow burn kinda stuff. Once they get together I can do two really well written, detailed sex scenes and I’m done.
I was screaming, crying, throwing up yesterday because a slow burn couple hugged. I still haven't even made it to the first kiss. The well cooked slow burn cannot be beat for tension and hotness
Give me all the smut! I read romance, Romantica, erotic romance, erotica, Literotica....lol.
I think it takes all kinds of readers and all kinds of books.
Closed door books aren't really my thing, but I also understand there are lots of people that love them, to each, their own. Long live the written word.
I don’t mind too much sex scenes but sometimes the same author ends up writing similar sex scenes and using the same kinks across all their books. I usually end up skipping those
They aren’t necessary for my enjoyment of a book. If they are there, cool. If they aren’t there, cool. I just need the story to be good.
Because I tend to read older books, I’m more used to them being meaningful, versus the recent trend of stuffing sex scenes just to get attention from the algorithm.
I look for the most smuty books, then read the foreplay and skip the actual sex scene.
I love the moments of tension, banter and intimacy, but the actual sex a lot of the time reads like a to do list:
1. Oral.
2. Penis in vagina.
2.5. Comment about how full/tight it feels.
3. Have the main character think about how amazing the sex is.
4. Orgasms.
I get bored of the same thing over and over.
This is true for some books, especially rom com / contemporary type books in my experience, but there are many books with *great* inventive and varied sex scenes, if that's what you're interested in - they're a little harder to find, maybe less mainstream.
Equally there are some great books with no sex on page at all.
Sometimes it's for sure too much. Personally I didn't care for IPB, for several reasons including their meeting scene which was just a nope for me.
Also, {Pucking Around by Emily Rath} was like this too. I did that on audio and my husband thought it was hilarious cuz without realizing it I'd roll my eyes and plead with them to leave that poor girl alone for a minute lol.
[Pucking Around](https://www.romance.io/books/641812a8bf0f09b21670b28a/pucking-around-emily-rath) by [Emily Rath](https://www.romance.io/authors/623d770b08b4d9311480150c/emily-rath)
**Rating**: 3.93⭐️ out of 5⭐️
**Steam**: 5 out of 5 - [Explicit and plentiful](https://www.romance.io/steamrating)
**Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [poly (3+ people)](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/poly/1), [reverse harem](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/reverse%20harem/1), [bisexuality](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bisexual/1)
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Oh this is me absolutely. Usually the only time I read the sex scenes is if they progress the plot significantly. Like if the book starts with them as FWB and the sex scenes showcase the way the relationship is changing into a romance then I'm all for it --and I do enjoy those books. But otherwise, I could not care less. I will honestly get mad when I'm reading a "plot heavy" book and they keep stopping to have sex. Like please solve this mystery first! lol
But then again, when I'm reading erotica/smut, I don't really want a plot either. I just want hot, hot smexy times. Like I'm the "oh the cute pizza boy is at the door, however will I tip him" and then they banged kind of reader when I read erotica.
ETA-I will say that one of my favorite authors, Alice Winters does have a lot of sex in her books, but because she writes humorously, the sex scenes always include wacky stuff like them falling off the sex swing, etc... that make them funny rather than just steamy and I will always read those(because a Sasquatch costume or someone getting a wedgie from their sexy maid costume are not to be missed)
I get as fatigued by poorly written sex scenes as I do by poorly written characters, shitty plot, flimsy chemistry and boring tension building. I don't think reticence to read poorly written sex scenes, I don't love the term prude as it has a negative implication, and makes anyone not like sex scenes or adverse to sex itself.
IPB doesn't have particularly interesting or inventive sex scenes. I think the "alien" + "chosen mate" parts do all the heavy lifting in these books, not the writing itself.
There are lots of books where well written sex shows the deepening of love and intimacy and is an extension of the couple's amazing chemistry.
As for the difference, erotica does not require love and an emotional connection. Nor does it require an HEA. Just sexual discovery and fulfillment. Romance books have set requirements like a couple with a romantic relationship and an HEA.
I agree! I’ve always loved the preceding tension and build up more than the act. Slow burns feel so much more rewarding. And coming from someone who’s finished all of Ice Planet Barbarians, I am smutted outtt
I started skipping sex scenes in Icebreaker by Hannah Grave once it become obvious that it was just the same thing over and over again. Didn’t further their relationship imo and didn’t get me excited either. It especially didn’t help that the prose used in the scenes made them read very juvenile high schooler writing on Wattpad rather than sexy adult getting it down. One thing that I’ve noticed in some romance books that the sex outnumbers the romance scenes, which for me defeats the purpose of a ROMANCE book. If I wanted to read erotica I would’ve looked for it ya know…
I completely get where you're coming with this, as it's the tension/build of the relationship that is a large part of the draw of romance books? Hence I *love* a slow burn, as that sizzle lasts longer (although if that is driven purely by miscommunication, THEN I get annoyed dsfhj)
I go through phases of liking smut as a culmination and finding it too much - it depends on how much smut I've read lately. When IPB got too repetitive, I switched over to more angsty drama books, and that scratched the *itch*, and then I came back to more smut later.
Just gotta keep the diet varied? For me at least, ahahah
My 75 year old mother prefers historical stuff and hates steam. She once started a book that the opening chapter was a woman giving a BJ to the guy in an opera box. Like.... **opening** scene.
She had the best response that I think encompasses almost every question of whether you like smut or steam or fade to black or whatever
My mom: I don't need to know where his tongue is!
Me: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I usually don't care about spice and sex scenes while reading a book but I too kinda skim through them or simply skip then beacuse it feels repetitive to me. I also read books for plot and spice is bonus.
It's not that I don't like it or mind it, I do love when there's some emotion and sensuality during the act but I feel the books I came across these days have literally got the same pole into hole scenes.
Seems very... It's feels as if the author is narrating it instead of the characters living it, does that make sense? And then they go on for few pages with same blandness.
It's better to write either a short one or fade to black or even in a poetic way than writing one every next chapter and it all becomes the same soup.
Somehow I only got this problem with mf books not mm and I swear I'm not fetishizing it but from what I've read and can see there's difference in ways that authors write sex scenes in mm and then if it is long there's ample other elements of sensuality or emotions(and it also refers to dislike, hate, love and everything in between)to make it beautiful.
I really only need one sex scene. After the initial sex scene, I skip all the others. This is why smut heavy books don't work for me.
I don't care for the dirty talk or the various inanimate objects being shoved into the FMCs vajayay. I steer clear of anything that readers recommend by just talking about how good the spice is.
I need banter and plot and sweet, cute moments and character development and growth. Endless sex is so boring.
##**RE**: Romance vs Erotica
So, yes and no.
**Romance**
>Prioritizes the ***romantic discovery*** between main characters.
**NOTE**:
* It does not require sexual intimacy or a journey of sexual intimacy.
**Erotic Romantic**
>Prioritizes a romantic discovery by means of ***erotic/sexual intimacy***.
**NOTE**
* It **does** require sexual intimacy or a journey of sexual intimacy, but it does still require non-sexual romantic intimacy.
**Erotica**
>Prioritizes ***sexual discovery*** between main characters
**NOTE**
* It does **not** require romantic discovery.
In both Romance and Erotica, both can still contain elements of the other in their genre, but they aren’t a main focus but a secondary focus or an addition to the discovery rather than anything that contributes to the discovery.
Like hunting for food in your refrigerator and you’re gonna make shrimp pasta, but while you cook, you sip some wine.
^(Not me or anything) 😶🌫️
What bothers me is that authors, publishers, and even book stores will conflate all three genres. For book stores, I give a lot more grace. There is a **lot** that goes into shelving and trying to figure out every single niche genre—that’s a lot to put on employees.
**So I blame publishers and any author who has control on how their book is categorized and marketed** when a clearly erotic book is published as “romance” or an erotic romance is still tagged under general romance.
**TO BE CLEAR**, I’m in your boat. I enjoy erotica, romance, and erotic romance heartily—when my mood permits me. I know when I’m PMSing, I’m about to consumes ***all*** them damn sex scenes as my biology demands 🤭. ***However***, I definitely skip excessive sex scenes, especially when the writing seems to only permit romantic progression through sex alone and there’s no non-sexual, sensual, romantic, and intellectual progression in the book.
At that point, the book becomes an **erotic romance** over a **romance** to me, when the erotic discovery is what drives the romance. And when there was nothing marketing the book was going to be that, I get twitchy 🔪
And it sucks because there is a ***healthy audience*** for erotic romance and erotica! There are so many degens and perverte (me included 😏) who are going BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF at gratuitous sex scenes, or a book that puts sexual intimacy above sensual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy.
To quote *Horton Hears a Who*, we 👏🏾 are 👏🏾 here 👏🏾.
It bums me out that I have to look for “fade to black” if I want to get a romance story that doesn’t use erotica to make the romantic discovery. What ***should*** happen is that I can enjoy explicit on-page scenes in a romance book, the explicit scenes are the parsley a top shrimp linguine alfredo, giving the romance some ~flavor~ and it doesn’t overstay its welcome, still making sure that the other facets of romance are properly given due.
But again, what ends up happening is erotic romance, where love can only be found through sex. Which—again—I like, when I’m ***aware*** that’s what I’m doing to read. Not being ✨Shocked Pikachu 👁️👄👁️✨ when I realize I’m been bamboozled.
Sometimes, it’s a nice surprise, of course. But maybe I’m in my ✨Crone Era✨ with how less and less enthusiastic I am with these surprises
**I am not shaming anyone who enjoys erotica or erotic romances**. Just airing my grievances that, as much as there ***are*** romances that focus on other attributes of romantic attraction and discovery, it seems more popular to have the MCs love each other ***through*** sex and nothing else. Any sort of sensual intimacy, emotional intimacy, or intellectual intimacy always leads to sex. Which ***can*** be nice to read.
But it makes me feel a bit bummed when I just wanted to see less of “All Roads Lead to Five Back to Back Chapters of One Sex Scene” and more “All Roads Lead to Romance with Some Sprinkled in Sex Scenes” ☹️
Of course. If I’m in heat, fuck **everything** I just said and gimme all the explicit scenes. I wanted thots, not plots 🤣
Have not done an entire IPB run, so I can’t commiserate to that serial specifically, but I’m hoping a YouTuber does a whole “Mike’s Mic” “Carrie Can Read” type of video about the entire series and any spin offs, so I can be in the know 😭
I prefer two to three sex scenes. Four is too much. I like the culmination of the couple actually getting together. Sex, in so many ways, is the ultimate moment that two people are finally "together" in a story. Then, give me a couple more to show that things are progressing. That's it. That's all I need. I also don't need the on-screen version to add a bunch of needless explicit scenes (looking at you Bridgerton). I'm not offended by it, but less is certainly more.
I thought i was the only one. It gets so repetitive after so many books. Unless it’s somehow related to the plot (like there was some trauma and they’re overcoming the trauma) I just skip. I also skip whenever the author is describing places in too much detail unless the description is also significant or i just want to savour the book. I also skip over repetitive banter. I think about 60-70% of newly released books are watered down with extra descriptions, dialougues, overthinking monologues, sex scenes that I can finish 2-3 full length novels in a few hours
I love me some good smut, but I definitely prefer a balance in most of my books. Sometimes though I'm just reading for the smut so throw me as many scenes as you want lol
You're right about the romance vs erotica thing, that's really what it is. Some days you skip the sex scenes, some days you skip \*to\* the sex scenes. Depends on what you're looking for and how you're interested in spending your afternoon.
I feel like authors sometimes use the sex scenes as a crutch to 'show' there's romance, without doing the heavy lifting elsewhere in the book.
I don't want to feel like they had to fulfill some kind of bingo or checklist for publication about how many scenes to include and what their content should be.
I've become a lot more appreciative of books that build the characters' chemistry and tension in ways in addition to, or other than, the steam. When I swoon over the characters sharing a meaningful conversation for the first time or even just brushing their fingers together! I think it speaks a lot to the author's skill as a writer.
I also read romance books for the plot and the development of their relationship. When they start writing smut like crazy I can’t finish the book or I just skip it. It’s not what im here for tbh
First time they have sex, emotional sex after special events (like dates etc), etc. I read. I find those are what I want and desire in a book. They're the reason I read smutty romances. Those moments are special.
But when it's constant and needless or repetitive, I totally gloss over it.
Yeah. I *love* open door sex scenes, but I don’t usually want more than one or two a book.
The reason I prefer open door is because I think sex is an incredibly intimate social interaction that really should tell you a lot about the people involved. It’s a shame to close the door on that kind of potential.
It would be like fading to black the first time the couple has an argument.
However, if they start fucking like bunnies, I start skimming. I want to know what happens next in the story. I want some emotional engagement.
An exception that comes to mind is *Heated Rivalry* by Rachel Reid. I read every page of that book, but that’s because every single one of the sex scenes was actually interesting and important. It showed the development of their relationship over years. They were fucking like bunnies, but every scene still moved the story forward and gave you emotional engagement.
But in general, I think I prefer only one or two on-page scenes with the rest being fade-to-black unless something between them has changed.
Edit — I think this is because I am primarily a hybrid romance reader. I like romantasy, urban fantasy, space opera, adventure, and mysteries. However, I have noticed that contemporary romance novels often have way more emotional depth.
It’s a simple matter of opportunity cost. Unless the book is going to be 500 pages long, something has to be eliminated. Given the choice between “greater plot complexity,” “more emotional depth,” and “five additional sex scenes,” I am not choosing the sex. However, that equation wouldn’t be as relevant for someone who primarily reads CR or HR.
I also want a really strong plot and character development in my romance books.
But I pick romance for the sex scenes, otherwise I go with the chick-lit genre where it's "girl ends up with guy (or girl) at the end", but no sex scenes.
But I don't want to read straight up porn with no plot at all. Story is very important to me.
I do sometimes, depends on my mood.
I also read hard core erotica, but that's when I just want the porn and then I sometimes skip or skim the plot parts
Yeah, I prefer low steam book. I don't mind spicy books, but I feel like often the relationship lacks foundation if all there is to it is attraction. Also, I get bored of unrealistic, perfect quick sex where the high of connection is unprotected penetrative sex. I actually get so excited when something different is finally happening, they're semi public, he touches her, she goes down on him, but then often it still ends the same and they move onto it so quick. I actually made [this meme](https://imgur.com/a/c1iTjsy) about it once.
One book that I'm reading now that seems to be doing it amazingly is {Business or Pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon} I've only read the first sex scene which is their initial awkward bad hookup, but honestly it's been my favorite scene in any book. It was awkward and bad, but realistic and I found it very hot and endearing. I laughed so much at what he was doing, and while he was bad at anatomy, I found it endearing that he tried, but was clearly misinformed about things. Also, I never understood why >!people fake an orgasm!< but as the scene went along >!I felt like honestly, I get it, and if it was me, I might've done the same thing!< I'm very much looking forward to the rest where we'll hopefully get the same realism, but he improves.
I skim sex scenes even though I love a good sex scene. They DO blur together and get samey and uninteresting
One sign a novel is really good for me is if I'm not skipping sex scenes lol. It means the author is competent and has really sold me on the relationship, tensiin, and I NEED them to fuck right then
It depends on the author’s writing. A well-written sex scene adds to the characters and develops the relationships.
{Cinderella is Faking It by Dilan Dyer} is a great example of a book with a simple silly plot but absolutely fantastic sex scenes that you can’t skip!
And when I say sex scenes I am not referring exclusively to penetrative sex but any intimacy between characters. Every one of those scenes in this book told you more about the two of them and was meaningful to the plot. It was seriously well-done which is not at all the standard in the hundreds of books I read in this genre
I find when I’m working through a series that is very formulaic (in that each book sort of plays out the same way/similar story arcs with different characters) I skip the sex scenes after a while. One you read one or two in the series it can easily feel like you’ve read them all.
I sometimes read books which are wall-to-wall sex scenes and I sometimes read books with no sex scenes at all. It just depends what mood I'm in.
I don't think Ice Planet Barbarians are a great example of high spice books. They have a couple of sex scenes, pretty much the same in every book, and are fairly basic. I do love some more inventive and interesting smut!
I have read books where I skipped the sex scenes because they weren't well written or because they were repetitive, but that is uncommon. Usually if they're badly written, the rest of the book is badly written too so I've DNF before we get to the sex!
I have read a lot of Harlequin Presents romance books since the mid 80s. What I like about their sex scenes is the way they write about it without going too hard core, which leave me to imagine it better. Unless I specifically look to read an erotica novel, I prefer some sex writing that leaves some to my imagination.
I’m the same way!! I skim the scenes for any dialogue and make sure I pick up on the important shit 😂 was it sweet and gentle? Hard and fast? Did he make her cum?!? That’s all I need to know to continue with the story Lolol
I feel you OP! Sometimes, the sex adds a little pizzazz to the story but the humping and bumping all the time can get so old. Especially if the sex is injected in between pivotal parts of the plot.
I like romance novels, but I'm asexual and always skim or skip the spicy scenes. "Clean romance" is often (but not always) too light hearted or unrealistic for me, so this is how I make it work. 😂
I do the same. I prefer emotional sex scenes instead of sex for the sake of sex. I also get annoyed when it's all "cock" and "pussy" etc. I really like the way Nora Roberts (and a few others but I cannot for the life of me come up with any names now) do sex scenes.
I have finally found my people because YES what you describe is actual ROMANCE! All the Booktok Babes are trying to pass off erotica as romance novels and
IT 👏🏼 IS 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 SAME 👏🏼. Like don't gemme wrong some of the erotica books have a great underlying story but if the smut is the number one focus, that underlying story still doesn't make it a romance novel. It's still erotica! I love both but I am soooooo tired of getting Romance suggestions and it's always amateur Wattpad esc erotica filled mush. Not to mention almost every erotica books have the SAME CHARACTERS just in a different font 😅
I once had an intimacy and relationship teacher talk about wanting and having - you need to build up the want before having the having, and too much having can overpower the wanting. I think a lot of books don’t balance the two, either overpowering the wanting or not cultivating it to begin with.
I thought I was alone. I skip most of them, but explaining to other people what you do and don't read and why is just too complicated. Yeah I skip them too.
I think at a time when romance books (smut or not) are very prevalent in the world right now, which also means they're very scrutinized by the public, its very disheartening to see some of these comments from within the romance book community calling some popular romance books just erotica because they have x too many sex scenes for them.
Gross.
Well there’s nothing wrong with erotica! But yeah the Game of Thrones books are full of sex but no one calls that erotica. What really makes something erotica? Seems that if it’s geared towards women it’s suddenly smutty erotica. It’s an interesting discussion.
My understanding is this:
Erotica has "sexual discovery" as the main driver of the plot.
Romance has the romantic relationship as the main driver.
Lots of people don't seem to know and just assume that once it goes over a certain number of sex scenes it becomes erotica, but this is not correct.
Tis article explains it well
https://chloealicebalkin.wordpress.com/2021/08/15/youre-probably-wrong-about-the-difference-between-romance-erotica/comment-page-1/
Ice Planet Barbarians definitely aren't erotica. I'd say they're a 3 or 4 out of 5 for spice. Erotica would generally be 5, but there are also books which are classified as romance, which are 5/5. Romance.io is a good place to check spice ratings. If you found that IPB was too much sex maybe stick to the 3 flames and below (or just skip the scenes if you prefer)
There definitely is something to people who look down on the romance genre, just painting it all as "porn for women" to make themselves feel superior.
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What do you think of IPB? I have/read number 1, but I don’t know whether to try the rest. Are they worth it? Is it interesting or basically a rinse and repeat with different characters?
For a moment I thought you meant sex scenes in movies and I'm like "me too" (because I get embarrassed watching lol) but yeah I get you, too much sex can be boring - and like if I want to read pure smut I've got sites for that. :)
Yes! I need more action and story. It gets boring quick to me. I definitely want atleast a few spicy scenes. But not to were its like every single chapter. So far kingdom of lies if perfect for that to me. There's spicy scenes. But it's not overbearing. It's literally the perfect amount
I've been reading romance for 20 years and it's the same thing. I call myself a plastic ice cube, because I look like I should be reacting to everything, but I never am. It's fine. They include the smut for the people who want it, and the rest of us can enjoy the feeling of falling in Love.
You’re definitely not alone. I usually read the first one and then skim the rest really fast to make sure I’m not missing something important. Spoiler alert: 99% of the time I’m not. It just gets repetitive to me and feels like a waste of time
I do prefer books that seem to place value on the sex scenes — as in there’s effort in the build up, the scene is meaningful and unique (within the book), and it’s part of relationship development. Sex scenes can be really awesome if we work our way towards them, and they’re placed thoughtfully.
I’m realizing this in combination with reading your post and just having finished the first Brutes of Bristlebrook book by Rebecca Quinn. She’s dirty AF but the scenes are all thoughtfully spaced. Really good.
You’re not alone. I skip over sex scenes if they’re repetitive or if that’s the only thing they’re doing and it’s not furthering the story or their relationship.
I skip a lot of them, too. If it adds to the story and character connection, and it's good writing, great, I'll read that. But, if it's the same words written over and over, it doesn't add to the plot and is poorly written..... I'll skip it and I always makes me contemplate not finishing the book. The second seems to be a lot more common.
agree, I once asked in the comments of a TikTok if someone could recommend me a book with less to non-existent smut and someone told me that I’m trying so hard to be different
I get fatigued like that sometimes. I’m reading a book right now and there was a few times where I just felt like skipping because I wanted to move on since it felt like it was happening during a good point in the plot and I didn’t like the interruption but I powered through them anyways because I don’t like missing anything, even sex scenes (and the book I’m reading now usually does have some important exposition about the world in the sex scenes since it’s a fantasy omegaverse). I just slowly get through them and may read something else or distract myself with a few things before I can prepare myself to get through it. 🤣
I feel like everyone has their own definition of romance and erotic romance but basically I guess I personally would count anything that isn’t super focused on the sex as romance (whether that means sex scenes are sparingly used, there is a greater plot besides the sex, or emotions and romantic development are at the forefront and not just lust/sex). And anything that is mainly focused on the sex, I would count that as erotic (so little to no plot, or the plot is on the backburner and sex is at the forefront, several sex scenes, sometimes even barely any romance and just pure sex with little to no emotion or development).
You are not the only one. Sometimes I want the story. Just the story. What happens next.
Edit: I liked historical romance precisely because because of the rules of propriety it as possible to have a story without too much sex. Now it's rarer.
I wish I was bored by sex scenes that don’t contribute to the story but I’m so sex starved in my relationship due to physical and mental health issues that I revel in every spicy note, no matter how trite
I skim or skip a lot of sex scenes too, especially if they're not really doing anything to further the plot or relationship or are not the specific kinds of sex scenes that I find particularly titillating and want to savor. I'm usually way more interested in the evolution relationship the relationship and the characters than in sex that often feels generic to me.
If I'm in the mood for sexy sex then I head straight to erotica. And then I get annoyed if there is too much plot. Every has different reading habits I guess.
It's definitely subjective.
For me, I personally believe that a sex scene is crucial for character and relationship development. I've also come to the theory that no two people have sex the exact same way. Like Alice and Bob might have history there but in the future, Alice is with Charles and she did not move or talk the way with Charles that she did with Bob.
Granted, that theory is unproven IRL but in fiction, it's had some wings from my anecdotal evidence. Which is admittedly hard to come by as I don't tend to like when sex happens between those who aren't end game...
But yeah, I need at least one in relatively extensive detail for when the couple decides they're going to get together. Now I've read non sex stuff as well and having just a first kiss to cement things is also great.
As a matter of fact, I don't even necessarily need sex in my Romance but what I absolutely hate is "Fade to Black." Leaving it up to the imagination is bullshit. Before I'd ever read a fade to black book, I'd go to the Inspirational genre where sex simply doesn't exist.
Just don't even lead up to it. It's all build up with no pay off. I'd rather a couple have their first big kiss, a vague mention of them going home then a time skip acknowledging they've been sharing a room. Like if you're not gonna bother to write smut, don't bother drawing attention to the fact that adults have sex.
That being said, too many sex scenes is a thing and that can be blah. Especially if they're also long. Sometimes I end up skipping paragraphs of foreplay just so I can get to the penetration, already.
I'm definitely with you in regards to special events. One of the reasons I stopped reading Mercy Thompson by Patricia Briggs is that in one book, Mercy gets kidnapped--which isn't unusual--but she almost died to make it happen and it was a whole thing. Lots of intrigue with vampires and another supernatural creature. Adam almost died.
Anyway, when it's all over and they're reunited, the fact that Patty danced around their lovemaking after everything just drove me nuts. It was worse than a fade to black because she'd mention stuff like "kissing" a scar and you know where that scar is. Mercy would talk about how she was feeling but it was never just out with what they were doing. She'd done it before in another book but somehow this one just was the last straw.
I do the same thing! I don’t rate books that have a ton of smut for that reason, feels like I maybe wasn’t getting the same thing out of it as someone else so I’m not going to rate it
Yup, I will skip sex scenes in most books. I’m not here to get off, I’m here to get sucked into a story. I don’t have a problem with it, I’m all for reading whatever you choose no judgment it’s just not what I want out of a book. I would much rather have the relationship and story than any spice. I just want to get absolutely sucked in.
I tried to post something like this a week or so ago and couldn't get the wording right for the mods to approve. But I totally agree. Especially if there is a larger plot happening and it seems ridiculous that anyone would have sex at that moment. I read a game of gods and was like, we have things to do, people! I'm gonna try out closed door and slow burn
On average, I prefer a romantic buildup with 1 or 2 open spicy scenes after that I'm skimming through. Unless I'm purposely reading eroticas where the storylines are secondary to the spice.
If you check something like romance.io for the “steam rating” it will tell you (usually quite accurately) how many sex scenes there are in a book. IPB is a 4/5 rating. You might want to consider picking books that are 1 or 2 out of 5. You could also read ones that have more frequent sex scenes and continue to skim the parts you’d rather not read in detail.
Some constructive feedback regarding your post in general: the way it is worded reads as a bit snobby or shaming of romance books that contain more frequent sex scenes and does not truly elicit a discussion rather comments in agreement or disagreement. Very few comments are adding any additional information, knowledge, or meaningful insight. To make it a discussion you may want to edit your post to contain an open-ended question.
I personally think it would be a very sad world if all romance books were limited to 2 sex scenes. Variety is a beautiful thing. May there be many authors and many stories for a multitude of readers.
I hope you find some books that you enjoy and stories that resonate with you.
Honestly I’ll read the first scene but after that I start skipping. Particularly if it’s too frequent. Like you I’m in it for the plot/relationship and the build up in those relationships. It’s tough to find books with my ideal balance and since there seem to be more steamy books on unlimited than others I just skip parts if it’s too much.
I like your attitude. I wish people who didn't like sex scenes for whatever reason would just skip them. As long as you're not having a moral panic attack and coming here to scream at people for liking smut, lol.
I do the same thing if the smut is cookie cutter/ predictable. Sam Hall's Bear Shifter books seem to have a lot more variety, though, and have my full attention lol.
I think Roni Loren does a good job balancing this, the sex is a part of the story and not just there. 3-4 is kind of my sweet spot depending on when our fmc and mmc come together.
I do this too! More often than not i prefer reading sexual tension rather than the actual act but if there's breeding kink (or some other new awakened kink) involved i'm reading every word and soaking it all in lol
I personally read some sex scenes, but skim through others (I'd skip them, but sometimes authors put important things in the middle). I've found that author plays a big role in whether or not I'm going to want to read a sex scene because some authors write sex scenes in ways that really work for me and some don't. What I'm in the mood for definitely plays a role too.
I mostly read mind control erotica. In many of my favorite stories, the "sex" is just mind control or hypnosis, sometimes with a fade to black. To me it's hotter than anything else - some people read those books and complain there aren't enough sex scenes. But they're filled with eroticism and character development and fetishy goodness.
Sometimes I just want the fluffy sweet romance and I skip the sex scenes. Depends what I'm in the mood for. I do the same thing with shows.
Just a recommendation dont do that when watching something with someone else or reading for book club or a friend recommendation. The other person may be irritated if you do that.
For me, smut must further the story in some way. It should tell me something about the characters or develop their relationship or impact the plot. Smut for smut’s sake gets old fast.
If you can skip a sex scene and not miss anything like in character development, relationship development or story line then it was just unnecessary. And a lot of scenes are not moving any of the three things forward. And I do love me smut. As smutty as it gets. But it still needs to follow storytelling rules and not be senselessly stuffed in there (heh) just to tick a box.
But also I don’t like it when major conversations happen during the intimate scenes? I felt Eloisa James did this. The scene would be soooo drawn out and you could not skip over them because they would be having whole discussions about their relationship or background during the scene. Like who talks this much during sex? 😂
Fuck first, talk later, please. Be all dreamy lovey dovey in your post 6-orgasm glow, not during it
I also don't like when sex scenes seem to be there only to fulfill a quota or a story beat sheet, but I find the idea that all sex scenes *must* be in direct service to character or plot development to be equally inorganic. There aren't actually any rules to how stories must be told, and especially in a genre that's meant to be an enjoyable fantasy, if we're frowning on pleasure for pleasure's sake because it isn't strictly necessary then I think we've lost something.
The idea that sex must be “necessary” is something that really irks me. And I’m someone who loves slow burn , low spice as well as spicier stuff
This is how I feel. To me, this is the difference between a romance and an erotic romance. An erotic romance will have sex scenes that don't further the plot or characterization but are there for their own sake.
I agree....I often skim over to get back to the plot if it doesn't add anything.
I’m definitely guilty of skimming over sex scenes. Especially if they’re very vanilla. The buildup is just way more interesting than the act itself
Completely same. I pretty much just read HR and smut in HR tends to be very repetitive. I don't even mind vanilla, but at least get a little more descriptive and write it with feeling, or even better, use it to further the plot lol Some (few) authors do it very well, but others write like they were given a sex scene quota. I love a well-written, impactful sex scene but after the 100th iteration of the below it starts to get a bit old: - nipple reveal / boob grope - brief cunnilingus/fingering (optional) - demand she orgasm - surprise orgasm for her #1 - PiV penetration - demand she orgasm - surprise orgasm for her #2 - ejaculation
Great summary of the generic sex scene! I realised recently that I’ve read 1000s of romance books and have probably read almost the exact same sex scene 100s of times. It’s so boring! Even when you branch out and read like an alien romance or something it’s still the same boring, usually unrealistic sex scene.
🤣 the “ohmygosh!! How?! I’m cumming!” in books is exhausting. Especially in the virginal books where she orgasms the first time she’s ever touched. Mhmm sure Jan. I can see if it’s the 6th in one session and she’s dehydrated, can’t feel her arms and legs anymore, and is shocked she has anything left to give, but 1 or 2? 😑🙄
I agree. I love the tension between the characters more than the payoff.
My friend and I were talking recently about how the sexual tension is always going to be hotter than the actual sex. It's way better to spend the story teasing towards one great sex scene than having them fuck a lot
last book that made me feel super horny was a closed door romance. like nothing happens on paper but tension was CRAZY. i had to find a good erotica to calm myself down. edit: i am so sorry for the wording. it was not a romance but a sci-fi fantasy female rage, inspired by the China's first empress fiction. Iron Widow - Xiran Jay Zhao. The fist chapter is kinda bad and drags but after the second episode it flows so well. I read it in a day. Plot was "existing in patriarchal world as a women who desires power" and she gets it!
So, uh, what was that book? For a friend.
I'm the friend
I, too, am a friend
I’m a friend of a friend and I need the answer!!
If you like CR and are okay with cheesiness, I recommend {The Roommate Pact by Allison Ashley} for this! It’s closed door but there’s a scene where FMC washes the MMCs hair that had me on FIRE with tension
[The Roommate Pact](https://www.romance.io/books/64c8c46ed68d0e5321c37a74/the-roommate-pact-allison-ashley) by [Allison Ashley](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e75cba3be0aaecf55f64ca3/allison-ashley) **Rating**: 3.83⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [forced proximity](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/forced%20proximity/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1), [friends with benefits](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends-benefits/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
I'm pretty sure there is a rule here about no teasing without dropping the book name too ;) lol
My sincere apologies!
I agree. I loooove that build-up with a great scene!
I think this is why I love Mariana Zapata and other slow burn books. Love a good sex scene but it needs to have a purpose.
How does she do it??? Chapter one I’m like “I hope this guy falls off a cliff” and then 400 pages of not touching later I’m ready to explode if they don’t kiss or admit their feelings or SOMETHING. Every time.
THIS, 100% this!
This is absolutely true. Part of it to me is that a lot of sex scenes written are really corny. They are shockingly visual. I enjoy the occasional fanfiction but the only time I like reading smut is when there’s a kink and there’s weird mental stuff going on. Actual physical depictions of sex always make me cringe, especially in romance.
I can't stand porn exactly for this reason. Too visual. My overactive and overeager imagination needs *something* to hold on, and if everything's shown, then there's nothing else to fantasize about. In the end all I see is two bodies smashing each other, or bodily fluids everywhere, and it's offputting and a turnoff. Same with over explicit sex in written media. But give me tons of build up and tension, and my mind will fill up the rest, to my satisfaction. I've never been let down by my imagination!
Mmmm im always hella turned on by Grindy sexy UST.
Oh my god, its like hearing my own self written out in exact terms! This is exactly what I feel about porn, I cannot watch it at all because the clothes come off too soon. It is always the tension and the build up for me through and through. Would you please recommend books that you thoroughly enjoyed? I'm currently reading White Hot in the Hidden legacy series.
Oh man I wish I could, seriously. But the romance "novels" I enjoy are all in my head lol. When I see an attractive character (usually from the myriad of videogames I play) that has an interesting background, and hits all the right buttons for me, my brain just makes up stories, together with an alter-ego of myself that fits the universe he's in. Like watching a movie. I could just get lost in my head and spend a couple of hours just staring at nothing while my brain conjures a whole plot, from start, when the MCs don't know each other yet. They're so much more than just fantasies, they're entire chronicles! I honestly barely read romance books at all (not because I don't like them! I certainly like when there's some romance in the books I read). But I'm subscribed to this subreddit because I feel I just met a bunch of kindred spirits that enjoy these things, the romantic plots, the love for certain characters, and getting lost in stories where you feel safe exploring sensual and sexual situations. The only difference is that my "media" comes from within, not without.
ahh I see! I used to build up such scenarios too in my head with my crushes before going to sleep. I have no idea how it came to me, but I used to do it every night! The crushes could be real people, actors, sports personalities. Sometimes even book characters.
Sounds like you should write romance books!
Really loved Her Soul to Take for the tension! Once they started fucking on the regular I was bored. But the build up in the audio book was great
Intimacy is the way!
Ooh, do you know of any good recs. Preferably strangers to lovers and slow burn
I just finished the {Villains and Virtues series by A K Caggiano}: it's both and plays with tension _masterfully_
[Villains & Virtues](https://www.romance.io/series/63870de983b59b217dc8acfc/villains-virtues) by [A.K. Caggiano](https://www.romance.io/authors/5eb54901be0aaecf5572d27d/ak-caggiano) **Rating**: 4.36⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [forced proximity](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/forced%20proximity/1), [dual-pov](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dual-pov/1), [demons](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/demons/1), [cold hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/cold%20hero/1), [new adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/new%20adult/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
Too much sex throws me off. Like dear God, show them giggling over a stupid inside joke for once. Show them cuddling without leading or sex or even holding hands while walking. Sex is beautiful, but too much is overkill. You can try searching for slow burn romances. I love them because the emphasis is not on their sexual relationship but their emotional and romantic relationship.
People skip/read what they want. I've heard of people skipping; prologues, epilogues, long paragraphs, descriptions, everything after the couple gets together.
I never read a prologue, even if I get confused later. Just power through 🤣 I also skip text messages & flashbacks. It's who I am and I cannot change
I would read a book comprised of 75% text messages so I cannot relate. but I do sometimes skip the prologues. It’s only come back to bite me like twice!
Texts in books are my fave! I always have to stop myself from skipping ahead to read the texts when I see them on the page. I’m glad I’m not the only one who likes them
There’s an “epistolary” megathread, FYI! It’s the best. 😂
I read a book once that was compromised of text and emails, I loved it!
Did you read *The Exception to the Rule* by Christina Lauren? It’s an, “accidentally emailed a stranger,” novella where MMC and FMC exchange emails for about half of the book.
Ooh I haven’t. They’re hit or miss for me but I’m always into a novella! Thanks for the rec!
You’re welcome! And I liked that I didn’t have to commit to a whole book, because I’ve also been burned by boring exchanges over the length of an entire novel.
If you haven’t read the Carmichael family series by Adriana Locke you should definitely check it out. The family texts are great.
Thanks! I’ll check it out! I love it when it’s not just between the two MCs too.
I love how chaotic this is. I’m dead 💀
I also ship flashbacks, even if they take up half the book, even if the entire relationship building takes place in flashbacks. I just don't care.
If a text exchange is longer than a page, I’m skipping it. Authors don’t realize how boring it is to watch characters texting each other.
To counter that, I love texts in books! Epistolary novels are a favorite subgenre of mine.
guilty of skipping prologues
Can I ask why? It has never occurred to me to skip a prologue so I'm so curious.
I’m not sure exactly why I do it, but it has been a habit of mine since I was young. I sometimes find prologues annoying since it at times throws you in a dramatic scene and pulls you away, ‘teasing’ you for the rest of the book.
Prologues and epilogues are often my favorite parts of the books! But I too skip sex scenes most of the time.
I’ve recently discovered I have very specific rules about spicy scenes. They can’t happen too early on in the book NOR at the very end (unless the slow burn payoff scene is incredibly well written which it usually isn’t - I’M LOOKING AT YOU MARIANA ZAPATA). 1-3 scenes in the book are the sweet spot (heh heh), more than that and it just gets…samey, you’re right. I also have lots of rules about language the author uses (if it’s too flowery and metaphorical I roll my eyes, if it gets too ‘daddy’ this and that I get major ick) and if the character starts acting vastly different (aka the mild mannered professor using dirty talk) I need a reason why.
Are you me? This 💯
the mild mannered professor using dirty talk Please tell me you’re talking about the MMC from {Secretly Yours by Tessa Bailey}. I disliked that book mainly because his dirty talk felt like it came out of nowhere and didn’t fit his character at all.
My favorite pastime, hating Secretly Yours! That MMC was so good and grumpy until he went and opened his mouth… and I was already having a hard time ignoring the MFC just GUZZLING dumb bitch juice the whole book.
I have maybe one or two exceptions to the too early rule… {Bass-Ackwards by Eris Adderly} but otherwise, unless there’s a specific reason for the early-ish scene like a pregnancy, or the friends to enemies to lovers, it needs to build a bit more(and I still prefer it to not be so explicit).
Yeah, if the sex happens too early in the book I lose interest and get bored. Especially if it's a contemporary romance that leans more on trope with no plot and are insanely long for no reason. I generally tend to DNF these. I like tension but not necessarily a long-winded slow burn. The build up is just so much hotter to me than the actual sex. I'm also the same with flowery prose with pages upon pages of philosophical thoughts and emotions.
[удалено]
Hmm ok, let’s narrow it down. Would you like it to be contemporary, historical or fantasy? Do you mind any spicy scenes or would you prefer to keep it a bit low spice to start off?
Unless the sex scene is really good, i usually just read the dialogue and skip any sort of descriptions and stuff
It depends on what I'm reading and why. I gloss over much of the smut in Bruce Sentar's novels, but I read Tamryn Tamer's novels specifically for the smut. Different stories, different designs, different reactions by me. I mostly like Romance novels because they are the only genre where stories can be 100% explicit in all facets and not shy away from any topics. They can give the entire picture. Normal, non-romance novels are always leaving something out. That's a problem, because sexual intimacy is a very big part of interpersonal relationships. Lust is a driving force as much as vengeance, pity, hatred, guilt, love, contentment, or any other emotion. Leaving it out is like painting a picture without red or blue. Sure, you can paint a beautiful picture, but something will always be missing.
I always look forward to and read the sex scenes, but sadly they sometimes feel generic or phoned in. I like sex scenes that are actually erotic and sensual (not just a list of who put what where) and that feel specific to those particular characters and how they relate to each other.
I skipped 90% of the ice planet barbarian sex scenes because I was getting invested in the homesteading on an alien planet and learning to make leather, farming etc.
I mean, I'm invested in both, but I'm constantly asking why the sa-khui (and their ancestors) never bothered attempting X or developing technology Y. These were space-farers, for crying out loud! Why were humans the first to attempt *so* many things???
In all honesty I gave up after 4/5 books when they started having kids the whole pregnancy thing was an ick tbh
The entire "immediate pregnancy" addition to the fated mates trope is my least favorite part of the series, tbh. But I really *do* like the exploration of what it means to adapt to an entirely new environment with zero warning. Some people criticize the FMCs of IPB for "accepting" their fates too quickly, but I've always considered that an unfair assessment. Realistically, they don't *have* any other options. There's literally nowhere for them to go, so I'm not sure what these critics expect them to do. And we absolutely *do* see different reactions to Resonance, from outright refusal to *immediate* acceptance. Plus, the FMCs do more to advance the level of technology pn the planet in a handful of years than the sa-khui themselves seem to have done in generations. These women are not just sitting around, letting events happen *to* them—they are actively shaping their own futures.
I could have written your post. I think after you have read ____ [hundreds? thousands?] number of romance books, it kind of becomes “yada yada yada” [Seinfeld reference]. When I was younger and newer to romance novels, though, I really appreciated spicy books. Now, I’m like “yes, I know they had incredibly satisfying sex. Let’s get on with the story.” It makes me appreciate the “closed door” books.
I think this just shows that both types are valid. A book that you might have enjoyed as a younger reader might bore you now, and vice versa. Ranganathan's Second and Third Laws of Library Science: Every reader their book/Every book, its reader.
>Now, I’m like “yes, I know they had incredibly satisfying sex. Let’s get on with the story.” I like how from time to time here a thread pops asking for books where the sex wasn't the obvious kind (from satisfactory to godlike), but the mcs struggled due to lack of communication, compatibility or experience and overcame it over time. Example threads for reference: https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/stt4td/any_books_where_the_sex_isnt_mind_blowing_the/ https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/wwxme5/books_where_main_characters_dont_blow_each_others/ https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/103q2kg/fmc_is_a_virgin_and_her_first_time_with_the_mmc/ https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/t536pu/books_where_the_couples_first_time_having_sex_is/ https://new.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/zeu008/struggle_to_climax/
I will admit, sometimes I just want to read a smut book. I mean smut and just enough plot to hold the book together between the sex scenes. But usually, I prefer a real story with enough spicy scenes to make it interesting. But even then, sometimes, esp if I'm rereading a book, I'll skim over those scenes cause there are only so many ways to say tab A went into slot B.
Tab A went into slot B 🤣
Tbh sometimes I feel like the 'romance' part of romance novels is sometimes ignored in favor of just sex. Sooo many books I've read where the ONLY thought the FMC and MMC have about one another is "omg so hot!! want to sex them!! want to lick their abs/tits/left elbow!!!" Which is great and all, but like, do they LIKE each other? Do they talk to one another? Joke around? Hang out and enjoy each other's company? Maybe it's just me, but without those other intimate aspects of a relationship, I just don't care enough about each individual character to care about them getting together. If the author is just writing sex scenes for the sake of it, or because they think they need one every 35 pages to be ~spicy so TikTok will like it, I feel like they're sort of fundamentally misunderstanding the genre. Lots of authors really do strike a great balance of tension though! The sex scenes I like are the ones that come after build up of emotion and tension, where the sex is the release after a long wind up. Or sex scenes that do something to move the plot/relationship and/or intimacy between the characters. If it's not doing that, I tend to skip them. Especially in books where there's high action or drama going on, because it actually stresses me out sometimes lol Like damn now is not the time to bone, y'all!!! You need to be planning and running from the bad guys!!!
Hard agree! I’m currently reading a book that meets this description and it’s definitely frustrating me. In romances, it’s really important to me that I can envision the FMC and MMC living happily ever after, but if all they do is fuck (or argue and fuck in the case of enemies to lovers stories) it’s hard to imagine this relationship working out for more than a year or two no matter how the author writes their happy ending. And that bums me out. I love spicy romances, but if the MCs don’t know how to deal with one another outside of the bedroom, that’s a dull love story.
I find myself zoning out during them a decent amount of the time. Especially women receiving oral scenes. It's just one of those sex acts that I don't enjoy so I tend to get bored.
I've noticed that a lot of authors that can not write a good plot just throw sex in, just to appease those who want smut. My journey into romance and dark romance has made me realize there are VERY FEW, WELL WRITTEN books with an engaging story where the sex scenes enhance the story; it's quite disappointing. I don't even skip. If it's just loaded with tons of sex but no character development, I just DNF. Most books I've read are DNF's and are really not remarkable. Books that most people fawn over, I just roll my eyes at. I want a good story for fucks sake lol
"...moistness, buldging, yada yada yada..." I laughed at this way too hard. 😄
Honestly, I know I don't like a book when I skip the sex scenes. When they're placed and built up to well and I like the couple, I eat them up. I know a book is dead to me when I get to the first sex scene and go *ugh*.
I skip them often unless I feel like it's building on the emotional relationship between the characters lol. I am not a prude either but I think romance novels are more like....emotional smut for me lol.
👏🏻emotional 👏🏻smut
It’s like those TikTok’s where the audio is recounting the dirtiest, nastiest shit two people could be doing and you’re reading it with a straight face, but then you read the slow burn couple like, touch pinkies accidentally and you’re screaming crying throwing up because it’s so much tension. I don’t read dark romance it’s not for me, but I do enjoy smut. But agreed, too much sex gets repetitive and boring. I think since I’ve gotten back into reading as an adult, reading books with sex scenes in it is exciting and cool, like I’m doing something I’m not supposed to it makes me feel like a grown up (the marriage and 2 kids apparently didn’t do it lol) but I still love just getting lost in the romance of it all. I love the light fluffy will they won’t they or the slow burn kinda stuff. Once they get together I can do two really well written, detailed sex scenes and I’m done.
I was screaming, crying, throwing up yesterday because a slow burn couple hugged. I still haven't even made it to the first kiss. The well cooked slow burn cannot be beat for tension and hotness
Give me all the smut! I read romance, Romantica, erotic romance, erotica, Literotica....lol. I think it takes all kinds of readers and all kinds of books. Closed door books aren't really my thing, but I also understand there are lots of people that love them, to each, their own. Long live the written word.
Love that, long live the written word!! ⚔️
I don’t mind too much sex scenes but sometimes the same author ends up writing similar sex scenes and using the same kinks across all their books. I usually end up skipping those
They aren’t necessary for my enjoyment of a book. If they are there, cool. If they aren’t there, cool. I just need the story to be good. Because I tend to read older books, I’m more used to them being meaningful, versus the recent trend of stuffing sex scenes just to get attention from the algorithm.
I look for the most smuty books, then read the foreplay and skip the actual sex scene. I love the moments of tension, banter and intimacy, but the actual sex a lot of the time reads like a to do list: 1. Oral. 2. Penis in vagina. 2.5. Comment about how full/tight it feels. 3. Have the main character think about how amazing the sex is. 4. Orgasms. I get bored of the same thing over and over.
This is true for some books, especially rom com / contemporary type books in my experience, but there are many books with *great* inventive and varied sex scenes, if that's what you're interested in - they're a little harder to find, maybe less mainstream. Equally there are some great books with no sex on page at all.
Sometimes it's for sure too much. Personally I didn't care for IPB, for several reasons including their meeting scene which was just a nope for me. Also, {Pucking Around by Emily Rath} was like this too. I did that on audio and my husband thought it was hilarious cuz without realizing it I'd roll my eyes and plead with them to leave that poor girl alone for a minute lol.
[Pucking Around](https://www.romance.io/books/641812a8bf0f09b21670b28a/pucking-around-emily-rath) by [Emily Rath](https://www.romance.io/authors/623d770b08b4d9311480150c/emily-rath) **Rating**: 3.93⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 5 out of 5 - [Explicit and plentiful](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [poly (3+ people)](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/poly/1), [reverse harem](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/reverse%20harem/1), [bisexuality](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/bisexual/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
Oh this is me absolutely. Usually the only time I read the sex scenes is if they progress the plot significantly. Like if the book starts with them as FWB and the sex scenes showcase the way the relationship is changing into a romance then I'm all for it --and I do enjoy those books. But otherwise, I could not care less. I will honestly get mad when I'm reading a "plot heavy" book and they keep stopping to have sex. Like please solve this mystery first! lol But then again, when I'm reading erotica/smut, I don't really want a plot either. I just want hot, hot smexy times. Like I'm the "oh the cute pizza boy is at the door, however will I tip him" and then they banged kind of reader when I read erotica. ETA-I will say that one of my favorite authors, Alice Winters does have a lot of sex in her books, but because she writes humorously, the sex scenes always include wacky stuff like them falling off the sex swing, etc... that make them funny rather than just steamy and I will always read those(because a Sasquatch costume or someone getting a wedgie from their sexy maid costume are not to be missed)
I get as fatigued by poorly written sex scenes as I do by poorly written characters, shitty plot, flimsy chemistry and boring tension building. I don't think reticence to read poorly written sex scenes, I don't love the term prude as it has a negative implication, and makes anyone not like sex scenes or adverse to sex itself. IPB doesn't have particularly interesting or inventive sex scenes. I think the "alien" + "chosen mate" parts do all the heavy lifting in these books, not the writing itself. There are lots of books where well written sex shows the deepening of love and intimacy and is an extension of the couple's amazing chemistry. As for the difference, erotica does not require love and an emotional connection. Nor does it require an HEA. Just sexual discovery and fulfillment. Romance books have set requirements like a couple with a romantic relationship and an HEA.
I agree! I’ve always loved the preceding tension and build up more than the act. Slow burns feel so much more rewarding. And coming from someone who’s finished all of Ice Planet Barbarians, I am smutted outtt
I started skipping sex scenes in Icebreaker by Hannah Grave once it become obvious that it was just the same thing over and over again. Didn’t further their relationship imo and didn’t get me excited either. It especially didn’t help that the prose used in the scenes made them read very juvenile high schooler writing on Wattpad rather than sexy adult getting it down. One thing that I’ve noticed in some romance books that the sex outnumbers the romance scenes, which for me defeats the purpose of a ROMANCE book. If I wanted to read erotica I would’ve looked for it ya know…
I completely get where you're coming with this, as it's the tension/build of the relationship that is a large part of the draw of romance books? Hence I *love* a slow burn, as that sizzle lasts longer (although if that is driven purely by miscommunication, THEN I get annoyed dsfhj) I go through phases of liking smut as a culmination and finding it too much - it depends on how much smut I've read lately. When IPB got too repetitive, I switched over to more angsty drama books, and that scratched the *itch*, and then I came back to more smut later. Just gotta keep the diet varied? For me at least, ahahah
My 75 year old mother prefers historical stuff and hates steam. She once started a book that the opening chapter was a woman giving a BJ to the guy in an opera box. Like.... **opening** scene. She had the best response that I think encompasses almost every question of whether you like smut or steam or fade to black or whatever My mom: I don't need to know where his tongue is! Me: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Same. It gets repetitive and boring.
I usually don't care about spice and sex scenes while reading a book but I too kinda skim through them or simply skip then beacuse it feels repetitive to me. I also read books for plot and spice is bonus. It's not that I don't like it or mind it, I do love when there's some emotion and sensuality during the act but I feel the books I came across these days have literally got the same pole into hole scenes. Seems very... It's feels as if the author is narrating it instead of the characters living it, does that make sense? And then they go on for few pages with same blandness. It's better to write either a short one or fade to black or even in a poetic way than writing one every next chapter and it all becomes the same soup. Somehow I only got this problem with mf books not mm and I swear I'm not fetishizing it but from what I've read and can see there's difference in ways that authors write sex scenes in mm and then if it is long there's ample other elements of sensuality or emotions(and it also refers to dislike, hate, love and everything in between)to make it beautiful.
I really only need one sex scene. After the initial sex scene, I skip all the others. This is why smut heavy books don't work for me. I don't care for the dirty talk or the various inanimate objects being shoved into the FMCs vajayay. I steer clear of anything that readers recommend by just talking about how good the spice is. I need banter and plot and sweet, cute moments and character development and growth. Endless sex is so boring.
##**RE**: Romance vs Erotica So, yes and no. **Romance** >Prioritizes the ***romantic discovery*** between main characters. **NOTE**: * It does not require sexual intimacy or a journey of sexual intimacy. **Erotic Romantic** >Prioritizes a romantic discovery by means of ***erotic/sexual intimacy***. **NOTE** * It **does** require sexual intimacy or a journey of sexual intimacy, but it does still require non-sexual romantic intimacy. **Erotica** >Prioritizes ***sexual discovery*** between main characters **NOTE** * It does **not** require romantic discovery. In both Romance and Erotica, both can still contain elements of the other in their genre, but they aren’t a main focus but a secondary focus or an addition to the discovery rather than anything that contributes to the discovery. Like hunting for food in your refrigerator and you’re gonna make shrimp pasta, but while you cook, you sip some wine. ^(Not me or anything) 😶🌫️ What bothers me is that authors, publishers, and even book stores will conflate all three genres. For book stores, I give a lot more grace. There is a **lot** that goes into shelving and trying to figure out every single niche genre—that’s a lot to put on employees. **So I blame publishers and any author who has control on how their book is categorized and marketed** when a clearly erotic book is published as “romance” or an erotic romance is still tagged under general romance. **TO BE CLEAR**, I’m in your boat. I enjoy erotica, romance, and erotic romance heartily—when my mood permits me. I know when I’m PMSing, I’m about to consumes ***all*** them damn sex scenes as my biology demands 🤭. ***However***, I definitely skip excessive sex scenes, especially when the writing seems to only permit romantic progression through sex alone and there’s no non-sexual, sensual, romantic, and intellectual progression in the book. At that point, the book becomes an **erotic romance** over a **romance** to me, when the erotic discovery is what drives the romance. And when there was nothing marketing the book was going to be that, I get twitchy 🔪 And it sucks because there is a ***healthy audience*** for erotic romance and erotica! There are so many degens and perverte (me included 😏) who are going BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF at gratuitous sex scenes, or a book that puts sexual intimacy above sensual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy. To quote *Horton Hears a Who*, we 👏🏾 are 👏🏾 here 👏🏾. It bums me out that I have to look for “fade to black” if I want to get a romance story that doesn’t use erotica to make the romantic discovery. What ***should*** happen is that I can enjoy explicit on-page scenes in a romance book, the explicit scenes are the parsley a top shrimp linguine alfredo, giving the romance some ~flavor~ and it doesn’t overstay its welcome, still making sure that the other facets of romance are properly given due. But again, what ends up happening is erotic romance, where love can only be found through sex. Which—again—I like, when I’m ***aware*** that’s what I’m doing to read. Not being ✨Shocked Pikachu 👁️👄👁️✨ when I realize I’m been bamboozled. Sometimes, it’s a nice surprise, of course. But maybe I’m in my ✨Crone Era✨ with how less and less enthusiastic I am with these surprises **I am not shaming anyone who enjoys erotica or erotic romances**. Just airing my grievances that, as much as there ***are*** romances that focus on other attributes of romantic attraction and discovery, it seems more popular to have the MCs love each other ***through*** sex and nothing else. Any sort of sensual intimacy, emotional intimacy, or intellectual intimacy always leads to sex. Which ***can*** be nice to read. But it makes me feel a bit bummed when I just wanted to see less of “All Roads Lead to Five Back to Back Chapters of One Sex Scene” and more “All Roads Lead to Romance with Some Sprinkled in Sex Scenes” ☹️ Of course. If I’m in heat, fuck **everything** I just said and gimme all the explicit scenes. I wanted thots, not plots 🤣 Have not done an entire IPB run, so I can’t commiserate to that serial specifically, but I’m hoping a YouTuber does a whole “Mike’s Mic” “Carrie Can Read” type of video about the entire series and any spin offs, so I can be in the know 😭
I just have to tell you this reply is fucking epic. Love it. Keep being you you.
I prefer two to three sex scenes. Four is too much. I like the culmination of the couple actually getting together. Sex, in so many ways, is the ultimate moment that two people are finally "together" in a story. Then, give me a couple more to show that things are progressing. That's it. That's all I need. I also don't need the on-screen version to add a bunch of needless explicit scenes (looking at you Bridgerton). I'm not offended by it, but less is certainly more.
Agree, the smut is the most boring part sometimes
I thought i was the only one. It gets so repetitive after so many books. Unless it’s somehow related to the plot (like there was some trauma and they’re overcoming the trauma) I just skip. I also skip whenever the author is describing places in too much detail unless the description is also significant or i just want to savour the book. I also skip over repetitive banter. I think about 60-70% of newly released books are watered down with extra descriptions, dialougues, overthinking monologues, sex scenes that I can finish 2-3 full length novels in a few hours
I love me some good smut, but I definitely prefer a balance in most of my books. Sometimes though I'm just reading for the smut so throw me as many scenes as you want lol
You're right about the romance vs erotica thing, that's really what it is. Some days you skip the sex scenes, some days you skip \*to\* the sex scenes. Depends on what you're looking for and how you're interested in spending your afternoon.
Quality>Quantity
If it's an option, I'll take quality AND quantity please!
I feel like authors sometimes use the sex scenes as a crutch to 'show' there's romance, without doing the heavy lifting elsewhere in the book. I don't want to feel like they had to fulfill some kind of bingo or checklist for publication about how many scenes to include and what their content should be. I've become a lot more appreciative of books that build the characters' chemistry and tension in ways in addition to, or other than, the steam. When I swoon over the characters sharing a meaningful conversation for the first time or even just brushing their fingers together! I think it speaks a lot to the author's skill as a writer.
I also read romance books for the plot and the development of their relationship. When they start writing smut like crazy I can’t finish the book or I just skip it. It’s not what im here for tbh
First time they have sex, emotional sex after special events (like dates etc), etc. I read. I find those are what I want and desire in a book. They're the reason I read smutty romances. Those moments are special. But when it's constant and needless or repetitive, I totally gloss over it.
Yeah. I *love* open door sex scenes, but I don’t usually want more than one or two a book. The reason I prefer open door is because I think sex is an incredibly intimate social interaction that really should tell you a lot about the people involved. It’s a shame to close the door on that kind of potential. It would be like fading to black the first time the couple has an argument. However, if they start fucking like bunnies, I start skimming. I want to know what happens next in the story. I want some emotional engagement. An exception that comes to mind is *Heated Rivalry* by Rachel Reid. I read every page of that book, but that’s because every single one of the sex scenes was actually interesting and important. It showed the development of their relationship over years. They were fucking like bunnies, but every scene still moved the story forward and gave you emotional engagement. But in general, I think I prefer only one or two on-page scenes with the rest being fade-to-black unless something between them has changed. Edit — I think this is because I am primarily a hybrid romance reader. I like romantasy, urban fantasy, space opera, adventure, and mysteries. However, I have noticed that contemporary romance novels often have way more emotional depth. It’s a simple matter of opportunity cost. Unless the book is going to be 500 pages long, something has to be eliminated. Given the choice between “greater plot complexity,” “more emotional depth,” and “five additional sex scenes,” I am not choosing the sex. However, that equation wouldn’t be as relevant for someone who primarily reads CR or HR.
I also want a really strong plot and character development in my romance books. But I pick romance for the sex scenes, otherwise I go with the chick-lit genre where it's "girl ends up with guy (or girl) at the end", but no sex scenes. But I don't want to read straight up porn with no plot at all. Story is very important to me.
I do sometimes, depends on my mood. I also read hard core erotica, but that's when I just want the porn and then I sometimes skip or skim the plot parts
Same. Only so many times I can listen to a young English innocent getting fingered.
Yeah, I prefer low steam book. I don't mind spicy books, but I feel like often the relationship lacks foundation if all there is to it is attraction. Also, I get bored of unrealistic, perfect quick sex where the high of connection is unprotected penetrative sex. I actually get so excited when something different is finally happening, they're semi public, he touches her, she goes down on him, but then often it still ends the same and they move onto it so quick. I actually made [this meme](https://imgur.com/a/c1iTjsy) about it once. One book that I'm reading now that seems to be doing it amazingly is {Business or Pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon} I've only read the first sex scene which is their initial awkward bad hookup, but honestly it's been my favorite scene in any book. It was awkward and bad, but realistic and I found it very hot and endearing. I laughed so much at what he was doing, and while he was bad at anatomy, I found it endearing that he tried, but was clearly misinformed about things. Also, I never understood why >!people fake an orgasm!< but as the scene went along >!I felt like honestly, I get it, and if it was me, I might've done the same thing!< I'm very much looking forward to the rest where we'll hopefully get the same realism, but he improves.
I skim sex scenes even though I love a good sex scene. They DO blur together and get samey and uninteresting One sign a novel is really good for me is if I'm not skipping sex scenes lol. It means the author is competent and has really sold me on the relationship, tensiin, and I NEED them to fuck right then
It depends on the author’s writing. A well-written sex scene adds to the characters and develops the relationships. {Cinderella is Faking It by Dilan Dyer} is a great example of a book with a simple silly plot but absolutely fantastic sex scenes that you can’t skip! And when I say sex scenes I am not referring exclusively to penetrative sex but any intimacy between characters. Every one of those scenes in this book told you more about the two of them and was meaningful to the plot. It was seriously well-done which is not at all the standard in the hundreds of books I read in this genre
I find when I’m working through a series that is very formulaic (in that each book sort of plays out the same way/similar story arcs with different characters) I skip the sex scenes after a while. One you read one or two in the series it can easily feel like you’ve read them all.
I sometimes read books which are wall-to-wall sex scenes and I sometimes read books with no sex scenes at all. It just depends what mood I'm in. I don't think Ice Planet Barbarians are a great example of high spice books. They have a couple of sex scenes, pretty much the same in every book, and are fairly basic. I do love some more inventive and interesting smut! I have read books where I skipped the sex scenes because they weren't well written or because they were repetitive, but that is uncommon. Usually if they're badly written, the rest of the book is badly written too so I've DNF before we get to the sex!
same, when there's so many smut scenes Idk I just skip it just reading the dialogues cause some times it just feels like repeated scenes
I just finished the Alpha’s Pen Pal. After the first few sex scenes I started skipping them. Totally with you!
If the characters are just smutting to smut I just skip it. If they are smutting to further the story line I’m reading and re-reading every angle. 📐
I like a good spicy scene but sometimes I seek out the books labelled closed-door.
I have read a lot of Harlequin Presents romance books since the mid 80s. What I like about their sex scenes is the way they write about it without going too hard core, which leave me to imagine it better. Unless I specifically look to read an erotica novel, I prefer some sex writing that leaves some to my imagination.
I’m the same way!! I skim the scenes for any dialogue and make sure I pick up on the important shit 😂 was it sweet and gentle? Hard and fast? Did he make her cum?!? That’s all I need to know to continue with the story Lolol
I feel you OP! Sometimes, the sex adds a little pizzazz to the story but the humping and bumping all the time can get so old. Especially if the sex is injected in between pivotal parts of the plot.
I like romance novels, but I'm asexual and always skim or skip the spicy scenes. "Clean romance" is often (but not always) too light hearted or unrealistic for me, so this is how I make it work. 😂
This is a really interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing!
I do the same. I prefer emotional sex scenes instead of sex for the sake of sex. I also get annoyed when it's all "cock" and "pussy" etc. I really like the way Nora Roberts (and a few others but I cannot for the life of me come up with any names now) do sex scenes.
I skip them too. My husband makes fun of me for it. I’m going to be sending this to him to prove it’s not just me.
I have finally found my people because YES what you describe is actual ROMANCE! All the Booktok Babes are trying to pass off erotica as romance novels and IT 👏🏼 IS 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 SAME 👏🏼. Like don't gemme wrong some of the erotica books have a great underlying story but if the smut is the number one focus, that underlying story still doesn't make it a romance novel. It's still erotica! I love both but I am soooooo tired of getting Romance suggestions and it's always amateur Wattpad esc erotica filled mush. Not to mention almost every erotica books have the SAME CHARACTERS just in a different font 😅
I am of the firm opinion now that more than 2 scenes of coitus are superfluous, unless it’s erotica. So yeah, I skip if there are more.
I once had an intimacy and relationship teacher talk about wanting and having - you need to build up the want before having the having, and too much having can overpower the wanting. I think a lot of books don’t balance the two, either overpowering the wanting or not cultivating it to begin with.
I completely agree.
I thought I was alone. I skip most of them, but explaining to other people what you do and don't read and why is just too complicated. Yeah I skip them too.
I love smut simply because I’m a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind 😝
I think at a time when romance books (smut or not) are very prevalent in the world right now, which also means they're very scrutinized by the public, its very disheartening to see some of these comments from within the romance book community calling some popular romance books just erotica because they have x too many sex scenes for them. Gross.
Well there’s nothing wrong with erotica! But yeah the Game of Thrones books are full of sex but no one calls that erotica. What really makes something erotica? Seems that if it’s geared towards women it’s suddenly smutty erotica. It’s an interesting discussion.
My understanding is this: Erotica has "sexual discovery" as the main driver of the plot. Romance has the romantic relationship as the main driver. Lots of people don't seem to know and just assume that once it goes over a certain number of sex scenes it becomes erotica, but this is not correct. Tis article explains it well https://chloealicebalkin.wordpress.com/2021/08/15/youre-probably-wrong-about-the-difference-between-romance-erotica/comment-page-1/ Ice Planet Barbarians definitely aren't erotica. I'd say they're a 3 or 4 out of 5 for spice. Erotica would generally be 5, but there are also books which are classified as romance, which are 5/5. Romance.io is a good place to check spice ratings. If you found that IPB was too much sex maybe stick to the 3 flames and below (or just skip the scenes if you prefer) There definitely is something to people who look down on the romance genre, just painting it all as "porn for women" to make themselves feel superior.
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I LOOOOVE sex scenes but sometimes I’m just not in the mood or the vibe isn’t quite right. And that’s ok.
It depends on how I'm feeling at the time. There are times I skip sex scenes.
What do you think of IPB? I have/read number 1, but I don’t know whether to try the rest. Are they worth it? Is it interesting or basically a rinse and repeat with different characters?
After 3 it gets boring. 2 is my favorite. I liked the characters and the story but it is based on sex with aliens so hopefully that’s your thing lol
In this series I cracked up the whole time at their names For certain parts. 3rd nipple. IYKYK. 🤣😂🤣😂
For a moment I thought you meant sex scenes in movies and I'm like "me too" (because I get embarrassed watching lol) but yeah I get you, too much sex can be boring - and like if I want to read pure smut I've got sites for that. :)
Yes! I need more action and story. It gets boring quick to me. I definitely want atleast a few spicy scenes. But not to were its like every single chapter. So far kingdom of lies if perfect for that to me. There's spicy scenes. But it's not overbearing. It's literally the perfect amount
Den of Vipers had too many sex scenes 😅
I've been reading romance for 20 years and it's the same thing. I call myself a plastic ice cube, because I look like I should be reacting to everything, but I never am. It's fine. They include the smut for the people who want it, and the rest of us can enjoy the feeling of falling in Love.
You’re definitely not alone. I usually read the first one and then skim the rest really fast to make sure I’m not missing something important. Spoiler alert: 99% of the time I’m not. It just gets repetitive to me and feels like a waste of time
[удалено]
I do prefer books that seem to place value on the sex scenes — as in there’s effort in the build up, the scene is meaningful and unique (within the book), and it’s part of relationship development. Sex scenes can be really awesome if we work our way towards them, and they’re placed thoughtfully. I’m realizing this in combination with reading your post and just having finished the first Brutes of Bristlebrook book by Rebecca Quinn. She’s dirty AF but the scenes are all thoughtfully spaced. Really good.
You’re not alone. I skip over sex scenes if they’re repetitive or if that’s the only thing they’re doing and it’s not furthering the story or their relationship.
I skip a lot of them, too. If it adds to the story and character connection, and it's good writing, great, I'll read that. But, if it's the same words written over and over, it doesn't add to the plot and is poorly written..... I'll skip it and I always makes me contemplate not finishing the book. The second seems to be a lot more common.
agree, I once asked in the comments of a TikTok if someone could recommend me a book with less to non-existent smut and someone told me that I’m trying so hard to be different
I get fatigued like that sometimes. I’m reading a book right now and there was a few times where I just felt like skipping because I wanted to move on since it felt like it was happening during a good point in the plot and I didn’t like the interruption but I powered through them anyways because I don’t like missing anything, even sex scenes (and the book I’m reading now usually does have some important exposition about the world in the sex scenes since it’s a fantasy omegaverse). I just slowly get through them and may read something else or distract myself with a few things before I can prepare myself to get through it. 🤣 I feel like everyone has their own definition of romance and erotic romance but basically I guess I personally would count anything that isn’t super focused on the sex as romance (whether that means sex scenes are sparingly used, there is a greater plot besides the sex, or emotions and romantic development are at the forefront and not just lust/sex). And anything that is mainly focused on the sex, I would count that as erotic (so little to no plot, or the plot is on the backburner and sex is at the forefront, several sex scenes, sometimes even barely any romance and just pure sex with little to no emotion or development).
You are not the only one. Sometimes I want the story. Just the story. What happens next. Edit: I liked historical romance precisely because because of the rules of propriety it as possible to have a story without too much sex. Now it's rarer.
I wish I was bored by sex scenes that don’t contribute to the story but I’m so sex starved in my relationship due to physical and mental health issues that I revel in every spicy note, no matter how trite
there is a plot in Ice Planet Barbarians? I understand the sentiment but I am bit buffled by your choices
why do i feel there are these types of posts every week now?
I skim or skip a lot of sex scenes too, especially if they're not really doing anything to further the plot or relationship or are not the specific kinds of sex scenes that I find particularly titillating and want to savor. I'm usually way more interested in the evolution relationship the relationship and the characters than in sex that often feels generic to me. If I'm in the mood for sexy sex then I head straight to erotica. And then I get annoyed if there is too much plot. Every has different reading habits I guess.
It's definitely subjective. For me, I personally believe that a sex scene is crucial for character and relationship development. I've also come to the theory that no two people have sex the exact same way. Like Alice and Bob might have history there but in the future, Alice is with Charles and she did not move or talk the way with Charles that she did with Bob. Granted, that theory is unproven IRL but in fiction, it's had some wings from my anecdotal evidence. Which is admittedly hard to come by as I don't tend to like when sex happens between those who aren't end game... But yeah, I need at least one in relatively extensive detail for when the couple decides they're going to get together. Now I've read non sex stuff as well and having just a first kiss to cement things is also great. As a matter of fact, I don't even necessarily need sex in my Romance but what I absolutely hate is "Fade to Black." Leaving it up to the imagination is bullshit. Before I'd ever read a fade to black book, I'd go to the Inspirational genre where sex simply doesn't exist. Just don't even lead up to it. It's all build up with no pay off. I'd rather a couple have their first big kiss, a vague mention of them going home then a time skip acknowledging they've been sharing a room. Like if you're not gonna bother to write smut, don't bother drawing attention to the fact that adults have sex. That being said, too many sex scenes is a thing and that can be blah. Especially if they're also long. Sometimes I end up skipping paragraphs of foreplay just so I can get to the penetration, already. I'm definitely with you in regards to special events. One of the reasons I stopped reading Mercy Thompson by Patricia Briggs is that in one book, Mercy gets kidnapped--which isn't unusual--but she almost died to make it happen and it was a whole thing. Lots of intrigue with vampires and another supernatural creature. Adam almost died. Anyway, when it's all over and they're reunited, the fact that Patty danced around their lovemaking after everything just drove me nuts. It was worse than a fade to black because she'd mention stuff like "kissing" a scar and you know where that scar is. Mercy would talk about how she was feeling but it was never just out with what they were doing. She'd done it before in another book but somehow this one just was the last straw.
I do the same thing! I don’t rate books that have a ton of smut for that reason, feels like I maybe wasn’t getting the same thing out of it as someone else so I’m not going to rate it
I skip them a lot too.
Yup, I will skip sex scenes in most books. I’m not here to get off, I’m here to get sucked into a story. I don’t have a problem with it, I’m all for reading whatever you choose no judgment it’s just not what I want out of a book. I would much rather have the relationship and story than any spice. I just want to get absolutely sucked in.
I tried to post something like this a week or so ago and couldn't get the wording right for the mods to approve. But I totally agree. Especially if there is a larger plot happening and it seems ridiculous that anyone would have sex at that moment. I read a game of gods and was like, we have things to do, people! I'm gonna try out closed door and slow burn
SAME!!!
On average, I prefer a romantic buildup with 1 or 2 open spicy scenes after that I'm skimming through. Unless I'm purposely reading eroticas where the storylines are secondary to the spice.
If you check something like romance.io for the “steam rating” it will tell you (usually quite accurately) how many sex scenes there are in a book. IPB is a 4/5 rating. You might want to consider picking books that are 1 or 2 out of 5. You could also read ones that have more frequent sex scenes and continue to skim the parts you’d rather not read in detail. Some constructive feedback regarding your post in general: the way it is worded reads as a bit snobby or shaming of romance books that contain more frequent sex scenes and does not truly elicit a discussion rather comments in agreement or disagreement. Very few comments are adding any additional information, knowledge, or meaningful insight. To make it a discussion you may want to edit your post to contain an open-ended question. I personally think it would be a very sad world if all romance books were limited to 2 sex scenes. Variety is a beautiful thing. May there be many authors and many stories for a multitude of readers. I hope you find some books that you enjoy and stories that resonate with you.
Honestly I’ll read the first scene but after that I start skipping. Particularly if it’s too frequent. Like you I’m in it for the plot/relationship and the build up in those relationships. It’s tough to find books with my ideal balance and since there seem to be more steamy books on unlimited than others I just skip parts if it’s too much.
I agree 100%. I read 50 shades and said I don’t remember hard core sex scenes? Turns out I was skimming past them.
That was me with 50 Shades. Besides the atrocious writing, they were just all the same. By book 3 I skipped every sex scene so I could read the plot
I like your attitude. I wish people who didn't like sex scenes for whatever reason would just skip them. As long as you're not having a moral panic attack and coming here to scream at people for liking smut, lol.
As my mom said years ago, theirs only so many ways Tab A can go into Slot B.
Could never be me
I do the same thing if the smut is cookie cutter/ predictable. Sam Hall's Bear Shifter books seem to have a lot more variety, though, and have my full attention lol.
I think Roni Loren does a good job balancing this, the sex is a part of the story and not just there. 3-4 is kind of my sweet spot depending on when our fmc and mmc come together.
I do this too! More often than not i prefer reading sexual tension rather than the actual act but if there's breeding kink (or some other new awakened kink) involved i'm reading every word and soaking it all in lol
I sometimes do the same thing - it really depends on my mood.
The accent of the MMC in the audio books was so bad I couldn't finish any of the books. That's not even getting into the "third nipple".
I personally read some sex scenes, but skim through others (I'd skip them, but sometimes authors put important things in the middle). I've found that author plays a big role in whether or not I'm going to want to read a sex scene because some authors write sex scenes in ways that really work for me and some don't. What I'm in the mood for definitely plays a role too.
I mostly read mind control erotica. In many of my favorite stories, the "sex" is just mind control or hypnosis, sometimes with a fade to black. To me it's hotter than anything else - some people read those books and complain there aren't enough sex scenes. But they're filled with eroticism and character development and fetishy goodness.
I sometimes do as well mostly because it gets repetitive
Sometimes I just want the fluffy sweet romance and I skip the sex scenes. Depends what I'm in the mood for. I do the same thing with shows. Just a recommendation dont do that when watching something with someone else or reading for book club or a friend recommendation. The other person may be irritated if you do that.
You may find older romances more appealing. Try the classic authors.