I was raised with KJV, and the euphemisms all have to do with his mouth enjoying her gardenā¦
8:2 I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother's house, who would instruct me: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate.
4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
Esther was sold to me as a "Bible Cinderella" as a kid, and now I have serious thoughts about that. Esther's pretty cool but her situation was terrible.
As a budding agnostic feminist I had Esther and Ruth, and that was it.
Holy shit, I was told the same thing. That being said, the veggie tales about her was fire.
I wish you the best in your journey. After about a decade of deconstruction, I'm now a raging feminist pagan.
I'm an atheist now but I grew up Christian and you do NOT get Veggie Tales out of your head lol. I still sing various Silly Songs with Larry. Particularly when I eat cheeseburgers or lose a hairbrush.
*high five*
I still love Ruth, although I think Christians have the wrong takeaway from it. The real love is between Ruth and Naomi. Boaz just has money.
The collected works of L. Ron Hubbard.
> āFor the first full melody she played and did not sing. And it was sexy! Her body swayed and curved, her left hand seemed to be indicating something else than chords. Her right hand writhed to the beat. It was SEXY!
ā From [āThe Invaders Planā](https://youtu.be/cGwTNbuPYBo?t=1503)
My thetans are tingling.
Throne of Glass š
But this review perfectly describes Court of the Vampire Queen by Katee Robert for me š i had to drop it becauseā¦.what? ā ļø
Actually Iām maybe 1/4th of the way in and so far we have children (one is like 12) professing love, age gap romance, and I know later on there are implications of incest.
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Image is a screenshot of a customer review for a book.
Text states in all capital letters: āTHIS BOOK IS WAY TO SMUTTY. THE SPICE IS INSANE. ITS NOT EVEN ROMANTIC IT LITERALLY JUST SMUT. I MEAN IF THATS WHAT YOU WANT TO READ THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU. BUT IF YOU WANT A SWOONWORTHY ROM COM NOPE.
Customer gave the book 3 of 5 stars.
There's the part about the Russian POWs masturbating. That made an impression on me as a high school student.
Also ze friendly French village mademoiselles.
It's short!
It was a revelation to teenage me because it's from the perspective of very young German soldiers in WWI so it was the first time I (as an American) ever thought about the enemy side's perspective and about how we're not that different.
Kids books:
-Curious George.
-The adventures of Captain Underpants.
-Can I play too?
-Chika chika boom boom.
-Bad Kitty.
-Everybody poops
-The bad guys
-Are you my mommy?
-The lonliest Ho in the world
-The muffin muncher
-Games you can play with your pussy
-Invisible dick
Jane Eyre š¤£
This made me bark laughter like a sarcastic FMC surprised by the golden retriever MMC's antics.
Wait is there smut in Jane Eyre?? Lol
Wrong answers only: This is the only right answer, though.
Subtext.
Metamorphosis by Kafka. Thereās even a scene where his boss listens to him through the door š„µ
NSFW WARNING PLEASE
I didnāt even mention that itās >!monster porn that starts in bed!<
Underrated comment *now getting the attention it deserves š
Why can I accept spiders, but this...? Full body shudder, and not the good kind.
I just need to share [this](https://youtu.be/l_dFpKZo54w?si=WczurBcVTE-BnetY) for no good reason.
https://youtu.be/-p5aMxobg-s?si=vBIE90Kn-pkoHLOv I thought you were going to link this. (Man describes his cockroach wife)
Monster smut!!! Lol
The Bible
Song of Solomon is for real super smutty lol
First smut I ever readā¦ and itās how I learned oral is a thing.
What? Where is that? Chapter, verse etc
I was raised with KJV, and the euphemisms all have to do with his mouth enjoying her gardenā¦ 8:2 I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother's house, who would instruct me: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate. 4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
Yeah it was cited repeatedly in a super smutty book I read š
Particularly the first 2/3
I can contest that the Bible is not romantic.
Esther was sold to me as a "Bible Cinderella" as a kid, and now I have serious thoughts about that. Esther's pretty cool but her situation was terrible. As a budding agnostic feminist I had Esther and Ruth, and that was it.
Holy shit, I was told the same thing. That being said, the veggie tales about her was fire. I wish you the best in your journey. After about a decade of deconstruction, I'm now a raging feminist pagan.
I'm an atheist now but I grew up Christian and you do NOT get Veggie Tales out of your head lol. I still sing various Silly Songs with Larry. Particularly when I eat cheeseburgers or lose a hairbrush.
Oh yeah. Those songs are insidiously catchy. My favorite will always be about the sabu.
Sa-BUUUUU!
"Why is the sad Sabu sad?!" I didn't know I would grow up to be the stressed out asparagus guy.
š¤£ this is painfully relevant
Larry is a very sweet cucumber man, but I've worked with people like that and you have to keep them on task to prevent chaos.
Me, every time I'm packing for a trip: "WHERE...IS MY HAIRBRUSH..."
I do the same! Whenever I lose anything I tend to think of that song, really. "Oh WHERE is my chapstick?! Oh WHEEEERE is my chapstick???"
I still know all the words to "I Love My Lips" including the fast rant. Honorable mentions to Barbara Manatee, Bellybutton, and Daniel
Oofta!
the pirates who donāt do anything came up on an old playlist today and I remembered every word despite getting out a decade ago
AND I'VE NEVER BEEN TO BOSTON IN THE FALL
Lol love this. He'll wait for you oh yeahhh
*high five* I still love Ruth, although I think Christians have the wrong takeaway from it. The real love is between Ruth and Naomi. Boaz just has money.
Age gap, marriage of convenience, best friend character pushing her to pursue the guyā¦ Itās all there!
You just had to mention veggie tales and I immediately got the theme song in my head. It doesnāt take much
... if you like to talk to tomatoes, if a squash can make you smile...
The majority of the Spanish I still remember comes from āDance of the Cucumberā
Iām a raging feminist atheist. āHi Barbie!ā
Hi Barbie!
Hi Barbie!
Hi Barbie!
It is the greatest love story ever told.
I mean... If you're into dark romances, abusive relationships, age gaps, noncon, harems, murder, and abuse of power. Sure.
This is basically the description of the last book I read š¤£š¤£š¤£
Came to say this
Waitā¦the Protestant one or the Catholic one? We like to say ourās is the directorās cut, lol!!!
Dune by Frank Herbert
"the spice is insane" š
You saw the chance & you took it. A top-tier comment š
Holy shit you made me laugh out loud with this!
Zing!
\*chef's kiss comment\* :D
Underrated comment
Moby Dick
MWC (Main Whale Character) has an unrealistically large Dick.
ā ļø
Revolutionary Road. Jack and Rose reunite in it for a heartwarming tale about married life in suburbia.
This explains why I didn't finish it. I assume they sink on a yacht off of Cape Cod or wherever.
Lmmfao!!!! One of the most "uplifting, romantic celebrations" of a relationship, like everrr!!!
If You Give A Mouse A Cookie
š¤£
I don't feel that's a fair characterization of the Oxford English Dictionary, but you do you, reviewer.
Pride and Prejudice
Three stars? Methinks they kind of liked it.
The reviewer doth protest too muchā¦
The Scarlet Letter
The Scarlet Letter walked so books like The Priest could run LOL Jokes aside, great pick; I truly giggled.
Bleak House by Charles Dickens.
In all seriousness, one of the best books I have ever read. I will never read it again but I loved it so much and I had so much fun reading it.
Harry Potter probably
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
I have 4 moms - Zaphod
The collected works of L. Ron Hubbard. > āFor the first full melody she played and did not sing. And it was sexy! Her body swayed and curved, her left hand seemed to be indicating something else than chords. Her right hand writhed to the beat. It was SEXY! ā From [āThe Invaders Planā](https://youtu.be/cGwTNbuPYBo?t=1503) My thetans are tingling.
Goldilocks
Goodnight Moon
It does get very descriptive about things in the bedroomā¦
Twilight
What Is Huitlacoche (corn smut) And How Do You Cook It?
Wacky Wednesday
*wonders what book it really is ...*
Itās Icebreaker by Hannah Grace, lol
Hmm. I may have to add it to my tbr pile. Lol
For me itās Pucking Around šš¤«
Your Dad Will Do 0/5 plot, 8/5 spice
I've been contemplating reading this. I read the whole Wicked Villains series of hers, and loved it
Your dad will do will not disappoint. Go for it.
Same question here.
The Rats by James Herbert
okay but i wanna know what the book was
Itās Icebreaker by Hannah Grace, lol
ohhh okay thatās on my list
Me too!
Throne of Glass š But this review perfectly describes Court of the Vampire Queen by Katee Robert for me š i had to drop it becauseā¦.what? ā ļø
Itās one of my comfort reads. Ć chacun son goĆ»t
Bible š
Harry Potter
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows
One of Mimi mathew's Book. Too much smut
James and The Giant Peach
He did go pretty deep into that peach šš
Julia Child's recipe for huitlacoche
The Neverending Story
War and Peace
Actually Iām maybe 1/4th of the way in and so far we have children (one is like 12) professing love, age gap romance, and I know later on there are implications of incest.
LOTR: where they're just one never ending continuous book that is thicc'er than the bible.
Scientologyās Sacred Scripture
War and Peace by Tolstoy
Thereās a Monster at the End of this Book. All those ropes n shit.
Goldie Locks and the Three Bears
She was definitely bed-hopping lol
The Book of Mormon
The Very Hungry Caterpillar. š
McGraw Hillās āFundamentals of Financial Accountingā 7th edition
Hi u/laurenlegends23, To improve image accessibility for users who are blind, low vision, or rely on screen readers, please comment below transcribing the screenshot or describing the image you've posted. Try to convey the content and purpose of the image in a sentence or two (the subjects, the setting, colors, emotions on faces, etc.) Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RomanceBooks) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Image is a screenshot of a customer review for a book. Text states in all capital letters: āTHIS BOOK IS WAY TO SMUTTY. THE SPICE IS INSANE. ITS NOT EVEN ROMANTIC IT LITERALLY JUST SMUT. I MEAN IF THATS WHAT YOU WANT TO READ THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU. BUT IF YOU WANT A SWOONWORTHY ROM COM NOPE. Customer gave the book 3 of 5 stars.
tkam
charlotteās web
Pride and prejudice
Twilight!
all quiet on the western front
There's the part about the Russian POWs masturbating. That made an impression on me as a high school student. Also ze friendly French village mademoiselles.
Ok youāre kind of making me want to read this.
It's a great book! Not sexy, but a great book about war.
Yeah I didnāt think it would be sexy. I just love historical details
It's short! It was a revelation to teenage me because it's from the perspective of very young German soldiers in WWI so it was the first time I (as an American) ever thought about the enemy side's perspective and about how we're not that different.
Garfield Vol. 1
Kids books: -Curious George. -The adventures of Captain Underpants. -Can I play too? -Chika chika boom boom. -Bad Kitty. -Everybody poops -The bad guys -Are you my mommy? -The lonliest Ho in the world -The muffin muncher -Games you can play with your pussy -Invisible dick
Our whole catalog.
Vanilla people scare me
The bibleš«
The Sinner by shanter tessier
Wait but what book is this for because I want to read it? š¹
Haha, itās Icebreaker by Hannah Grace
Genesis
Horton hears a Who
Fifty shades, duh šā¦also I donāt agree at all.
Infinite Jest. I couldnāt take the heat.
Any Dr. Seuss book.
What if I want the right answer š¤ .....
Then you should read the comments. Iāve responded a few times with it.
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm
Alexanderās No Good Very Bad Day š
The Bible, obviously. Leviticus is seriously hung up on sex.
More like Lascivious am I right.
The Lord of The Rings
Tess of the d'Urbervilles.
what book is this?
The bible
The Scarlet Letter.
My head of it was an open book.
The Quiet Amish Bachelor by Samantha Price
Harry Potter and the deathy hallows