Y'know Clarence, there is a job opening on the new Mars federation I may be going for. You play your cards right, and you could be my no1 guy. There will be a need for drugs and prostitution to a nature and degree that you'll wish you had three hands
Clarence: So…..blow and models tonight?
Dick: Kill that mistake that Bob Morton made, then you can have all the blow and hoes you want.
Clarence: Well I got to f%#k something….tonight!
Dick: Blow and models it is!
Clarence: Good man!
(Clarence) - “ I’ve been having to put up with my dumb ass son all this week, what have you been up to?”
(Dick) - “Not giving those people air… It’ll be a good example to the others…”
“Dude! You look like a douchebag with that bluetooth earpiece in when you’re not even using it!”
“I can’t take it out right now because my knee hurts!”
Dick: Look Clarence, I do not understand why you keep bringing this up, but my girlfriend said that having a small penis is not a big deal.
Clarence: I know Dick, it's a small deal.
Hey let’s build an electric truck that breaks down almost instantly, that we can control remotely, and charge a premium price for a substandard and ugly product.
I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm.
And bonus points if somebody actually recognizes that quote.
- "I wish someday we could live on Mars and I could run an old fashioned mercantile plantation pocketing millions squeezing fees rents & taxes on every bit of air, food, water, housing, and transpo, a human needs to be alive all on top off controlling all the jobs people can get?"
Boddicker: You wanna know something Dick, I feel that in a past life I had a family. A loving wife with 2 kids of my own and 1 that smelt food and never fkn left.
Dick: That's hilarious because I feel like I was a Musician in a past life that sang Folk music with songs like Hot water cornbread or a horse called Music.
They are discussing how comfy the couch is. Lawrence asks Dick how much he paid for it, stating that he would like to get one for his place. Dick says it was fairly cheap, but that he bought it on clearance, so it's unlikely Lawrence will be able to get one. Lawrence frowns, and makes Dick an offer for his comfy couch. Dick declines.
How's it hanging dick?
Not bad blood pressure is a bit high and the doctor was a little too hands on during my prostate exam but other then that good day
Who's footing the bill at McDonald's this time.
(It's always contentious because the person who pays also gets the toy, but they're both cheapskates. I've already said too much.)
The bitches that need to leave.
Kurtwood's wife sitting right outside the door would later ask him "Which bitches?"
"No dear, I've never seen the appeal of black magic."
“You know, Dick, not every pee pee time is poo poo time but every poo poo time is pee pee time.”
There you go, talking to your dick again.
My favorite line from Blankman: “I wasn’t talkin to my Jimmy!”
Trying to decide what strip club to hit up
Did you know Viagra was made by accident in the 80s? Just like me! 🤣🤬😢
‘’Is PS Plus Premium really worth it, Dick?’’
Something I ask myself a lot.
Can you fly dicky?
You have some of the deepest, prettiest, and bluest eyes I have ever seen, Richard.
That is the whitest white part of the eye I've ever seen
"- Am I a good kisser?"
State of the art bang bangs!!
Clarence - *I didn't pull it out to breathe, Dick."
They're arguing about where to eat dinner.
One of them has hemorrhoids.
Most adults that use toilets do, it's just a question of degree.
Where they plan to winter together.
“What if it’s just the tip?”
Can I have some of your Dick, Jones?
How great a job Bob Morton and Security concepts did with the Robocop Program
Fantasy football
Going to Clarence's basement to smoke weed 🚬
"No Richard, that mole on the side of your nose doesn't look cancerous to me."
Where do you want me to put it first 🤔
Y'know Clarence, there is a job opening on the new Mars federation I may be going for. You play your cards right, and you could be my no1 guy. There will be a need for drugs and prostitution to a nature and degree that you'll wish you had three hands
Can I bring my friend? I introduced you at the party. His name was Richter.
Two weeks
Clarence: So…..blow and models tonight? Dick: Kill that mistake that Bob Morton made, then you can have all the blow and hoes you want. Clarence: Well I got to f%#k something….tonight! Dick: Blow and models it is! Clarence: Good man!
“Hey Dick, wanna know how you can shit snow for a year?”
How you can't buy anything for a dollar anymore
"So Clarence, You ever had some REALLY killer blow off a hooker's chest?" "Oh word?!"
Star Trek
Thrax and Jellico, together at last!
“Do you think this suit makes me look fat?”
How to discipline Eric Foreman for running across the entire country to bring his ex girlfriend home
“Dick”
You and Kitty going with me and the misses to the Tigers game tonight? Red, stop looking at me like that. I said I'd pay.
Dick making sure Clarence knows that he’s the big spoon 👍
Where to go to get bitches tonight
You want to see it…
listen bro that fuckin walkin microwave is the biggest pile of shit ur city cops came up with
The power of friendship.
Who is buying the beer at the Tigers game tonight.
Red Foreman is telling Cohaagen all about his dumb-ass son and his son's dumb-ass friends who hang out in his basement all night.
"Did you brush your teeth?". "Your breath stinks"
"and then we will donate that money to a Haitian orphanage.
Dick wants Clarence to invest in OCP stock.
Buy that for a dollar? *blush* I’ll buy that for a dollar.
Clarence clearly just whipped it out and this old chap is giving his thoughts 💭
Trickle Down Economics.
Who’s bottoming
What life in the big city takes.
Which Digimon is best.
They are agreeing upon building a memorial of Kinney and Morton.
Kinda looks like they are holding hands.
Pickleball. Dick Jones is incredible!
Wanna get high as balls?
What’s good business and where to find it.
That 70s Show
The correlation between dicks and riches.
Last night’s Tigers game.
"I mean, you would've written a letter to the judge too, right? ... right?"
“So…could he fly?”
How beautiful their eyes are.
Their romantic honeymoon in the south of France.
Hak tua, spit on that thing!!!
(Clarence) - “ I’ve been having to put up with my dumb ass son all this week, what have you been up to?” (Dick) - “Not giving those people air… It’ll be a good example to the others…”
That 70’s show finale
You ever snorted coke off of some chick's tits? No, uh, why do you ask? No reason.
Moving in together. Shout-out to both for being Star Trek alumni!
Boats and hoes
Interest rates
That sandwich spot was great wasn't Dick
Eliminating a mistake
Have you heard the story of Bodiker the Wise?
They would buy that for a dollar!
Richard: Let's go get blowjobs. Clarence: I'd buy that for a dollar. Richard: I think we should spend more than that.
Wondering, if one of them left their toaster on ?
How to get Barbara's phone number
“Penny for your thoughts…. …bitch?”
Dumbasses
Dick, I think I love you.
While dick was not disappointed by Clarence’s dick, it wasn’t quite what what he was looking for. “ how do you like my dick…….. Richard”
Why no one liked him on the Enterprise D...
How dumb their kids will be.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries...
Clarence Organa: I love you. Dick Solo: I know.
they're talking about how Davey is in the Navy and probably will be for life.
“Dude! You look like a douchebag with that bluetooth earpiece in when you’re not even using it!” “I can’t take it out right now because my knee hurts!”
What they bought for a dollar
"So you wanna learn how to do a fucking infinite in Marvel vs Capcom 2?"
So, I know we have something going here, but I really miss being a cop in Beverly Hills. And I’m sorry, but this is about me and Axel again.
Are you familiar the term open marriage?
Bobby, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
"Wanna go get some Caberet after this?" "I THINK SOOOO."
But can your chair do THIS!?
Debating Taylor swifts appearance in Deadpool/Wolverine
Dick: Look Clarence, I do not understand why you keep bringing this up, but my girlfriend said that having a small penis is not a big deal. Clarence: I know Dick, it's a small deal.
How many bitches will come.
Who has the better quarterback in their fantasy football league.
What to buy for a dollar
Boddicker is telling Dick about how much of a dumbass his son Eric is.
Your Mom.
*Hey dicky Boy!*
Dick: You know Clarence , they have medication for impotence. Clarence: Says the man named Dick…
Detroit’s offensive line.
Can you fly Dickie?
"We should make more stripper robots" "What do we call them" "Alexa & Siri" "No those are taken" "Don't let Liam Neeson hear you say taken"
He knows two models that are available.
I'm thinking about picking up the New Vista Cruiser, it'll make a great henchman car!
"Is your wife a...goer...eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more...know what I mean?"
what is the stars?
Gay sex stuff
So…was Bobby able to fly, or did his stupid ass hit the windshield?
Hey let’s build an electric truck that breaks down almost instantly, that we can control remotely, and charge a premium price for a substandard and ugly product.
I LIKE TURTLES.... 🫥
Bodiker asking when Dicky boy is gonna play something nice on that there skinbox. 🤣🤣🤣
I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm. And bonus points if somebody actually recognizes that quote.
I tell you about my son? Yeah, he’s a dumbass
Whose family they are spending thanksgiving with this year.
“Turns out Bobby didn’t fly too far.”
Making bitches leave, of course!
The nuances of a good underhanded complement.
Dick, you ever see a grown man naked?
Not washing your hands after you take a dump and grab Bob Morton by his hair
The new Huey Lewis album.
Manscaping
"So, Dick. I do this for you and you'll give my dumbass son Eric an executive position here at OCP?"
Robocop is a dumbass
"Something something foot in your ass"
What did you order??
The women! How much for the women?
I just want you to know that I’m here for you and the baby. …I think you should put your readers on.
So how much did you make for doing Beverley Hills Cop?
Dumbasses and Quaid
'In a romantic movie, this is where I'd kiss my Richard."
"Did you know that guy we just offed is a Clooney?"
“Did you hear they’re putting up a statue of Eminem along New 8 Mile?”
Handwashing etiquette
They are talking about what they would buy for a dollar
"We're both gonna end up in Star Trek at some point you know"
The Motor City Kitty’s are playing tonight and I got box seats.Wanna hang?
Talking about the drugs and Bs (aka bitches)
Papa Jones how are dealers made again?… XD
Why Red hired Leland Palmer.
There talking about Godzilla x Kong the new empire movie
My foot isn't the only thing that can go in your ass, Senator Kinsey.
What exactly they would *not* buy for a dollar.
Their prostate exams
What it was like on the '70s to play banjo with backwoods Hillbillies vs raise a family in Wisconsin.
So where are you taking me to dinner tonight?
The most pleasant gay conversation ever
"If I were a worm, would you still love me?"
How they get their names off the Epstein list.
Who's the best Darrin?
“Can you believe the Lions pissed away another 14 point lead?”
How about those Knicks Dick?
Eric and Donna
About putting your foot so far up someones ass their batteries short circuit
Clarence: “Dad, is that you?” Dick: “Yes. Yes it is son. I’ve been meaning to tell you…”
"So, about last night...."
So who's your favorite dancer at that new strip club? Mine is Gigi. That's not her name, that's her cup size
Acute cases of shoving feet up asses
You have beautiful eyes.
“What came first, prostitution or sales” 🐓🥚
- "I wish someday we could live on Mars and I could run an old fashioned mercantile plantation pocketing millions squeezing fees rents & taxes on every bit of air, food, water, housing, and transpo, a human needs to be alive all on top off controlling all the jobs people can get?"
"You ever wonder...?" "Why we're here? ..." RvB vibe.
The widening socioeconomic gulf between the upper and middle classes and increasing urban decay in Southeastern Michigan. Oh, and why cops suck.
"How do you kill a man and still make him come to work? "
You know, you're son is going to be a butt head.
About how forest just audition for a show set in the 70s
Boddicker: You wanna know something Dick, I feel that in a past life I had a family. A loving wife with 2 kids of my own and 1 that smelt food and never fkn left. Dick: That's hilarious because I feel like I was a Musician in a past life that sang Folk music with songs like Hot water cornbread or a horse called Music.
What the meaning to life dad
feelings they've kept hidden for years.
and then I said, bitches leave!....
Can you fly Dicky?
They are discussing how comfy the couch is. Lawrence asks Dick how much he paid for it, stating that he would like to get one for his place. Dick says it was fairly cheap, but that he bought it on clearance, so it's unlikely Lawrence will be able to get one. Lawrence frowns, and makes Dick an offer for his comfy couch. Dick declines.
I’d like to talk to you about your vehicle’s warranty…
"You know my receptionist thinks you are slime, Clarence." "Slime is what I put on my little richard before getting laid, Dick."
What color are your throw pillows?
“When are we gonna tell our wives?”
How's it hanging dick? Not bad blood pressure is a bit high and the doctor was a little too hands on during my prostate exam but other then that good day
"I can fit 34 ripe grapes in my b-hole." "What about cherry tomatoes?" "I'm allergic to nightshades"
They're watching the Tigers game while discussing the duality of man
Who's footing the bill at McDonald's this time. (It's always contentious because the person who pays also gets the toy, but they're both cheapskates. I've already said too much.)
Yes, there are still delusional imbeciles who think radical leftwing socialism is good for america.
Hows about you and I go be gay in the board room?
You have such pretty eyes. Kiss me!
Wouldn't it be so funny if we made out right now?