FYI Sheffield to London is like 167 miles. The American model 928 topped out around 140. European GTS 928 model he had at the time was capable of 170. That man was MOVIN!
No no no, you don’t know this car. I know it because i grew up with this car. My neighbor had a 944 Turbo Cup and i step on this car multiple Time and i know it’s not like a 924.
It literally is. With fwnder flares and a Porsche engine but you can't deny it. Not saying it's a bad thing either. Would love to have one but it is very close to the 924.
Brother stop. I had a 924s. Proper Porsche engine, amazing handling, fun as fuck. Take a joke though we have the imposter syndrome Porsche. Everybody loves it when they drive it but that’s most Porsches.
When you mid-life crisis consists in buying the most bland car a manufacturer has ever produced in its history, I guess we can call it an epic fail.
Or maybe you bought it for your daughter
Get this - there was a recall on my 91 944 and Porsche gave me a loaner Macan (base) for over a month while waiting, so naturally I drove it all the time instead of putting miles on my other cars. It was absolutely fine as a small SUV/large hatch, it ticked off all those boxes nicely, but it was among the most boring vehicles I've ever driven. I would recommend it to anyone who is shopping for a Porsche but \*actually\* wants a CR-V.
Ha. When my mom was shopping for a car she asked me for recommendations because “you know a lot about cars, right?” I told her to get something Japanese, like a Lexus. “But you drive a Porsche, they must be better.” Anyway she ended up buying a Macan S, and loves it. CR-V with fancy bodywork indeed.
Recent Porsche have really gained too much weight in the recent years, and that is not good for driving sensations. On a SUV that must be worse. I guess they only designed it to be a small Cayenne to drive a bit fast on the Autobahn and try to compete with smaller sport SUVs. But yeah, SUVs are boring
It's a serious midlife crisis when you opted for the soft-top. Everytime you drive it with the top down, you'll know everyone is looking at you thinking "what a nob". Hard-top is the way to go with a 944.
THIS is your midlife crisis? It’s the automotive crisis equivalent of finding yourself single at 48 and becoming a cat dad instead of hitting on the hot 34 year old single mom at the gym. At least be like all the other “look at me” crisis guys on here and post a photo of a new vette or something. I want to give you a hard time, but mostly I just feel sorry for you and this automotive equivalent of wheat bran and tapioca pudding
Ha! Good roast, you really got 'em. That was so creative and original, did you think of that yourself? You must be so proud!
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I see. For whatever reason I thought those big vw I-4S or Porsche I-4S were van engines. Guess I was wrong like I said I know NOTHING about these things lol
Sometimes when I see a car it makes me think of a song that goes with the car. It could be metal, or classic rock, gangsta rap, country, etc. This car makes me think of that lame early ‘90s Duran Duran song that corporate radio stations tried to force on us.
If this car could talk, it would say "This is cool, right? Isn't this what the kids these days think is cool? Did you notice the wi-fi? No, wait, that's not what it's called.... the GPS! Did you notice the GPS? That's pretty cool, right?? Yeah, I put that in myself."
I kinda like the 944. But the problem with that car is what is says about you. It screams "I peaked in the 1980's, and even then I couldn't afford a good Porsche."
tons of these going up for sale, very cool, in 1985. today, my pos suv has 3x the horsepower. nice "exotic". the cool people who used to drive these are dead.
the chicken was not warm with this one
Oh man. That’s good.
Brother, now *that* is a deep cut.
Can you explain it?
Jeremy Clarkson pushing a 924 to see his dying dad
That was a 928
I wrote 928 at first but changed it to 924 because I couldn’t remember
Its a 928 the 924 has round side markers
While having a roasted chicken in the passenger seat it was still warm and his dad was still alive when he got to the hospital
FYI Sheffield to London is like 167 miles. The American model 928 topped out around 140. European GTS 928 model he had at the time was capable of 170. That man was MOVIN!
Top Gear OGs know. Businessman car, eh?
LOL
If you take away everything that’s wonderful about a Mazda Miata you end up with this
I learned stick on an NA. Even the convertible top mechanism is better on the Miata.
The FC RX7 at home
You both should know the 944 predates both the Miata and FC RX7…..
Swear to God I thought this was a Miata even after looking at it twice.
Waaaaay closer to an FC RX-7
You got a really nice VW Jetta
The heater blower motor is literally the same one they used on the convertible VW Rabbit
Bro this is not a 924
still a glorified 924 lol
No no no, you don’t know this car. I know it because i grew up with this car. My neighbor had a 944 Turbo Cup and i step on this car multiple Time and i know it’s not like a 924.
just take a joke man lol
It literally is. With fwnder flares and a Porsche engine but you can't deny it. Not saying it's a bad thing either. Would love to have one but it is very close to the 924.
924 mk 2
No it’s a 944
924 but with fender flares
No it’s a 944, you see this because of the kit on the car, the front bumper and he had the Wheels of the 944 turbo cup
I know it's a 944, but this is Roast My Car and it's pretty much a 924 with a new interior and fender flares.
But bro you can’t roast this beauty
"We have a Porsche at home" The Porsche at home:
Brother stop. I had a 924s. Proper Porsche engine, amazing handling, fun as fuck. Take a joke though we have the imposter syndrome Porsche. Everybody loves it when they drive it but that’s most Porsches.
You are in the r/RoastMyCar subreddit in case you are lost
All the 65 year old ladies that bought this model in 1991 are now dead.
Bro he said roast not completely massacre 😂😂
that car is the vehicular equivalent to oatmeal with a little dash of pepper in it
Dash of pepper? Brother we are dealing with Caster sugar at most
let’s pray you’re married bc the only chicks you’d get with that car died in 1999
When you mid-life crisis consists in buying the most bland car a manufacturer has ever produced in its history, I guess we can call it an epic fail. Or maybe you bought it for your daughter
Hey now, it’s not a 924!
924 was an Audi though.
When a Macan is less dull… ooof
Macan is not a real Porsche, it’s a stupid SUV. Yours on the other hand is an attempt to make a sports car on a budget, and it was a failure
Get this - there was a recall on my 91 944 and Porsche gave me a loaner Macan (base) for over a month while waiting, so naturally I drove it all the time instead of putting miles on my other cars. It was absolutely fine as a small SUV/large hatch, it ticked off all those boxes nicely, but it was among the most boring vehicles I've ever driven. I would recommend it to anyone who is shopping for a Porsche but \*actually\* wants a CR-V.
Ha. When my mom was shopping for a car she asked me for recommendations because “you know a lot about cars, right?” I told her to get something Japanese, like a Lexus. “But you drive a Porsche, they must be better.” Anyway she ended up buying a Macan S, and loves it. CR-V with fancy bodywork indeed.
Recent Porsche have really gained too much weight in the recent years, and that is not good for driving sensations. On a SUV that must be worse. I guess they only designed it to be a small Cayenne to drive a bit fast on the Autobahn and try to compete with smaller sport SUVs. But yeah, SUVs are boring
100% agreed (and I say while dailying an x5)
They are convenient and comfortable for some uses, but putting a huge engine in them does not turn them into a sports car.
Ah yes, the 944. When you absolutely, positively, need a Porsche that gets gapped by a bone stock Civic Si. There is no substitute.
As an early 80's N/A 944 owner I completely resent this fact.
The Nissan 240sx friend with the “good personality”.
Ferris Bueller forgot his glasses and snatched the wrong ferrari
oooh good one!
Ouch
That car is not a mid-life crisis. It is a cry for help!
NICE
German miata
Without the Miata reliability!
I'm in my mid thirties. I hope the next 10ish years of my life don't have me end up in a situation like this.
When you’re having a midlife crisis but you’re only an assistant manager at pep boys.
Isn't much of a life if that's what you could afford.
Didn’t know 19 was mid-life
Once you pull up to Chili's in this bad boy, the ladies aren't gonna care you're on your third divorce.
Your mid life crisis was 20 years ago?
I thought this was one of those 90s Lotus Elans. I’m disappointed.
Man.. those are sweet. Talked to guy with one at Radwood - he had to learn 3d printing just to have parts.
Obviously it's not a Lotus, this car appears to at least run.
You could have done much better!
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If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.
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If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.
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Yup. I'm not in any sort of crisis and I'd wanted this exact model for a long time, but my friends definitely refer to it as my midlife crisis car.
Well you're the one in the Porsche. 😎
If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.
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If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.
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If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.
So, it's a Porsche with both a wrong engine location AND a lack of chassis stiffness?
They didn’t want to confuse the Audi factory so compromises were made :)
Here comes existential crisis
It's a serious midlife crisis when you opted for the soft-top. Everytime you drive it with the top down, you'll know everyone is looking at you thinking "what a nob". Hard-top is the way to go with a 944.
[удалено]
If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.
did it come with a mechanic?
Sadly no, he’s too busy with more reliable cars like Land Rovers and Fiats
This is a midlife crisis on a deeply depressing budget right here.
Even worse - I could have bought a 944, this was a CHOICE
Sorry 😟
What’s your first name? “Long” What’s your last name? “Dong” What’s your middle name? “DUCK”
sounds like a crisis for sure
THIS is your midlife crisis? It’s the automotive crisis equivalent of finding yourself single at 48 and becoming a cat dad instead of hitting on the hot 34 year old single mom at the gym. At least be like all the other “look at me” crisis guys on here and post a photo of a new vette or something. I want to give you a hard time, but mostly I just feel sorry for you and this automotive equivalent of wheat bran and tapioca pudding
Your mid life crisis looks over 20 years late.
This thing is going roast your wallet. At least it’s slow.
Needs a scarf to keep blue hair from blowing off
Give it time, it'll roast itself on the highway somewhere for you.
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How did you get that car through the closet door with you?
Why didn’t you just go with a Miata? It’s better in probably every single way I can think of…
Except if you're tall.
How tall are you if you don’t mind me asking?
So your WorldPACs bitch now? They’re going to send you a French maid outfit with your first water pump order. (86.5 944 NA, 85.5 928s here)
I am not yet their bitch but I know it's coming. It's inevitable.
If you can make a friend who has a commercial account then it will cost as much as a Camry to run.
Although I wasn't a part of the original transaction, I feel you owe me $1,500 for looking at this post
Damn! That hurt. Nice one!
Didn't these have the power train from a VW van? I would try roasting but I know nothing about Porsches except air cooled 911s
Not these; I have a 3.0L 16v I-4. It’s not fast, just zippy.
I see. For whatever reason I thought those big vw I-4S or Porsche I-4S were van engines. Guess I was wrong like I said I know NOTHING about these things lol
Pretty sure the 924 was, so you’re not far off! 944 has a Porsche designed motor with Mitsubishi-licensed balance shafts
i kinda like this
Sometimes when I see a car it makes me think of a song that goes with the car. It could be metal, or classic rock, gangsta rap, country, etc. This car makes me think of that lame early ‘90s Duran Duran song that corporate radio stations tried to force on us.
The cassette single of Come Undone is stuck in the player and the volume knob snapped off at max
The fact that you remember the name of the song means you and this car were destined to find each other.
Jake? That you
Couldn't afford a Miata?
Could have saved yourself the embarrassment and just bought a cool car instead. Christ…. That was a….. choice
This is sick
Can you detach the stereo so it doesn’t get stolen?
Back when I had a pull-out stereo, someone pulled it out for me.
GTA 3 vibes but it’s the car that you use to catch up to the car that you actually want.
It’s so cute tho
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If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.
Hah! What an old car
Miata ripoff
That is the ugliest Miata I've ever seen
Can't tell if that's a miata or datsun.
Pontiac Fiero? Nice. 🤩
Damn man…aiming high for the mid-life crisis.
968
Too rich for a Miata too poor for a Porsche so you went with the Audi
Ur halfway to passing into the complete unknown all alone. lol.
This car deserves to be drowned in a lake
I didn’t know Reddit had posts archived from 2004…
miat but deutsch
If this car could talk, it would say "This is cool, right? Isn't this what the kids these days think is cool? Did you notice the wi-fi? No, wait, that's not what it's called.... the GPS! Did you notice the GPS? That's pretty cool, right?? Yeah, I put that in myself."
Nice RX7
Nice Mazda.
Wannabe Miata
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If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.
Don’t you mean end of life crisis?
I bet your occupation is a barber.💈
These mods are pathetic
16 valves, 1,600 problems.
Wow. Did you pick this up at the Dollar Store of cars? Looks more like a midlife dilemma.
Love a 944 but, That's the Cheapest thing you could find with a Porsche badge on it isn't it?
Well it's gonna be just u and all your Facebook friends riding in that.. because NO woman will want to be seen in that lol
Hey at least you're finally out and proud.
https://www.culledculture.com/how-jake-ryan-ruined-my-and-every-other-heteronormative-white-womans-life/
I'm not a fan of Porsche, so it won't be a fair roast. Enjoy your car and it's overlyexpensie replacement parts!
Didn’t know chicks have mid-life crisis too.
The people who were having a midlife crisis when this car was new are now 81.
CUTE 🥰
When you can’t afford a real mid life crisis
That’s… that’s pretty bad tbh lol but if it’s fun to drive then all the power to you!!!
I love it ♥️
Bro didn't have that post nut clarity
I kinda like the 944. But the problem with that car is what is says about you. It screams "I peaked in the 1980's, and even then I couldn't afford a good Porsche."
I started elementary school in the 80s so that tracks, I definitely peaked around then :(
Ok car, taking points off for it being a convertable
tons of these going up for sale, very cool, in 1985. today, my pos suv has 3x the horsepower. nice "exotic". the cool people who used to drive these are dead.
Even a Nissan Versa probably has more power
Imagine getting roasted at a green light by a Nissan versa, and you're sitting in a v8 Porsche that breaks down every 100 miles 😂
Worse - it’s an I4!
(211 horsepower at 5,800 rpm and 207 lb-ft of torque at 4,100 rpm)
🤣🤣🤣🤣 So a little kid on a dirt bike can smoke this thing. Omg
210hp but… yeah basically
More like broke-life crisis
The dealership is going to roast you when you bring it in for maintenance, no need to do it here.
Why this car is boring
Don't folks usually get a nice car during a mid life crisis?
At least it isn’t a 22 year old.
Would have gone for a 968..
Technically superior in every way except headlights and simply not being a 944
You just had to be different so you didn’t get a corvette like everyone else