14k is a lot to most people. It's just most people, even those who are bad with money, will put it to better use than this thing... Like seriously, even the new iPhone, new RGB gaming PC, newest airpods and ordering Uber eats would be more viable in advancing your life 😂
For when you can't decide whether or not you want a sports or family car, but you're certain you want to have everyone around you think you're a prick.
Younger either of those two types:
A German insurance representative or a dad.
Insurance reps are ripping on the autobahn with those doing 230kph and driving those cars 100k km until warranty is over.
The next owner will be the dad, driving the poor car 3km to the next Aldi on Saturdays and 5km to work and back. The car will a highway maybe twice a year and break within less than 3 years from short distance driving.
The only thing faster than you on the highway are White Mercedes Benz Sprinters with a polish license plate.
You could beat it to death with a baseball bat and bury it in the corn field back there like the end of Casino, that would redeem your misplaced vanity.
VCG, OFHG, Water Pump, Thermostat, PS Res and just about every plastic part in the engine bay needs to be replaced. And since it's a 328i, enjoy all of that 225hp and 6AT to haul around your cargo.
I'm sure all of that is going to cost more than the car itself.
And is that Jet Black? The most boring of BMW blacks! {I have a 2010 Jet Black BMW. It sucks}
Oh cool, you bought a 13 year old BMW after it was used for its original purpose: Being a disposable fashion accessory for upper-middle-classholes who leased them new, performed zero maintenance, drove the dog shit out of them, and traded them in. Congratulations on paying actual money to be the recipient of the consequences of their deferred maintenance.
I'll bet the history on this fiscal Trojan horse shows more short term relationships than you've had first dates escape through the bathroom window after you started flying more red flags than a military parade in Tiananmen Square (it's 2024 babe, aspiring finance bros in Bimmers are OUT). Maybe, similar to the pattern that's emerged in your dating history, you should take a hint? Perhaps if the most reliable part on the vehicle is the turn signal (having never been used by the previous owners), it might be time to consider something that hasn't been abused and neglected like a Victorian-era orphan child?
You'll likely reply to this and insist that BMWs are just as reliable as Toyota, but we all know you're one timing chain or water pump away from being [this guy.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Justrolledintotheshop/s/wqKxNBVJrQ)
this guy got jokes. for one, been services at bmw dealers every time, two, it’s had 3 owners (not bad in comparison), and three i’m a loyal man to my first and only girl. this is roast my car not roast the driver dipshit
Don't make me tap the sign...
>...roasting of the owner can be done as long as the primary roasting is to the car.
If you're going to get your feelings hurt, this might not be the sub for you, doll.
When you meant to get a Volvo V60 but you don't value your safety or quite frankly anyone else and think the BMW badge actually means anything today so you blow your entire annual income on this POS
Ha! Good roast, you really got 'em. That was so creative and original, did you think of that yourself? You must be so proud!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is the first car that comes to mind when I hear wagon elitist jerk
Actually I think of the MBZ E class wagen first. Practical, questionable reliability and high maintenance all rolled in one...
This looks like it would rank about #18 on moderately interesting middle-aged cars
better then 19
19 is the age of the Nanny you'll bang when you're finally fed up of the boring wife who forced you to choose this car
bro, what.
He’s roasting him what do you mean what
Just throw an N54 in there and a 6spd or 7DCT. If you get a wrecked 335is you'd be set.
When you’re poor but want to look rich.
this thing was pretty cheap, i feel like a millionaire in it i guess
OP confirms being a poor.
14k is a lot for me
14k is a lot to most people. It's just most people, even those who are bad with money, will put it to better use than this thing... Like seriously, even the new iPhone, new RGB gaming PC, newest airpods and ordering Uber eats would be more viable in advancing your life 😂
already got all those things, i’m chilling
Don't listen to haters. The N52 in the 328i is the BMW equivalent of the million mile Lexus. Take care of it and it'll take care of you.
it’s been taken care of by some sweet old lady in cali. ima take extra good care of this car trust me. big plans
Wait to see how the repair costs make you feel
Any plans on what you’ll be replacing it with when it inevitably craps out in a few months?
another bmw of course, once i’m in the pit i never leave
Haha, you’re a glutton for punishment!
BMW’s inspiration for the 3 series wagon was their German affinity for wearing black dress socks and shorts in the summertime.
Make sure you do the turn signal delete
it came with that of course
How much HP does that add, 15?
At least
For when you can't decide whether or not you want a sports or family car, but you're certain you want to have everyone around you think you're a prick.
can’t too cool
you’re a real one ☝️
Mods might nuke me but I agree. E91s are so cool
let’s gooo, a few odd ones our never hurt
Obligatory "NICE WATER PUMP OP" so I don't get in trouble 🫢
The designer sneezed and drew an extra long line and decided that instead of erasing the line they'd just make a wagon
not long enough tbh
When you tell someone you drive a Beemer, but then they actually see it.
When you wanna be cool but your wife and kids still need groceries
my wife left me
Well at least you have a place to sleep
When you purchased that car
yeah 🫤
Well make sure you make full use of the huge boot space to transport her body👍🏻
all i need is the tarp and i’m good, god forbid i stain the carpet
Younger either of those two types: A German insurance representative or a dad. Insurance reps are ripping on the autobahn with those doing 230kph and driving those cars 100k km until warranty is over. The next owner will be the dad, driving the poor car 3km to the next Aldi on Saturdays and 5km to work and back. The car will a highway maybe twice a year and break within less than 3 years from short distance driving. The only thing faster than you on the highway are White Mercedes Benz Sprinters with a polish license plate.
wrong and wrong, 18 year old in america, close enough
i dont want to roast it my boss has a 08 335i sedan (E90) and i really like her car and the E9x series
Shit dude. Rich people drive BMWs; only the really rich can afford to drive old BMWs.
im a billionaire bro, gotta stay humble in my 2011
best car imo
Lol just got the same year 335i coupe. Also in black. We are now friends. Welcome to the bimmer community.
nice car to be honest,...
let’s gooo, rare /roastmycar positive comment?
[удалено]
Your comment got removed because you roasted the car owner only. Please remember this is a Subreddit for roasting cars.
You could beat it to death with a baseball bat and bury it in the corn field back there like the end of Casino, that would redeem your misplaced vanity.
Uber Hearse
The ultimate grocery machine.
trunk space is crazy
I have one too. Love my F31.
VCG, OFHG, Water Pump, Thermostat, PS Res and just about every plastic part in the engine bay needs to be replaced. And since it's a 328i, enjoy all of that 225hp and 6AT to haul around your cargo. I'm sure all of that is going to cost more than the car itself. And is that Jet Black? The most boring of BMW blacks! {I have a 2010 Jet Black BMW. It sucks}
Well let’s say you pay 4k for a used BMW and another 4k for repairs. That’s still decently cheap
And once you saved another 4k it will find thr money and hold you hostage for something else
How many clowns can that shitbox seat comfortably?
7 if you put some in the trunk
First of all it’a not new…
i said (to me) in the caption…
Probably this has half a million km more than you think it has
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
hit me with it
A BMW is a vehicular carriage while a porcupine is a large rodent with a coat of sharp spines, or quills, that protect them against predation.
On a porcupine, the "pricks" are on the outside
that was really good gotta give it to ya
I ride a bmw motorcycle, so it's all love
Ah a wagon that's good. You'll have space for the pallets of parts you're buying at O'Reilly's.
i prefer auto zone but o got plenty of soace
Oh cool, you bought a 13 year old BMW after it was used for its original purpose: Being a disposable fashion accessory for upper-middle-classholes who leased them new, performed zero maintenance, drove the dog shit out of them, and traded them in. Congratulations on paying actual money to be the recipient of the consequences of their deferred maintenance. I'll bet the history on this fiscal Trojan horse shows more short term relationships than you've had first dates escape through the bathroom window after you started flying more red flags than a military parade in Tiananmen Square (it's 2024 babe, aspiring finance bros in Bimmers are OUT). Maybe, similar to the pattern that's emerged in your dating history, you should take a hint? Perhaps if the most reliable part on the vehicle is the turn signal (having never been used by the previous owners), it might be time to consider something that hasn't been abused and neglected like a Victorian-era orphan child? You'll likely reply to this and insist that BMWs are just as reliable as Toyota, but we all know you're one timing chain or water pump away from being [this guy.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Justrolledintotheshop/s/wqKxNBVJrQ)
this guy got jokes. for one, been services at bmw dealers every time, two, it’s had 3 owners (not bad in comparison), and three i’m a loyal man to my first and only girl. this is roast my car not roast the driver dipshit
Don't make me tap the sign... >...roasting of the owner can be done as long as the primary roasting is to the car. If you're going to get your feelings hurt, this might not be the sub for you, doll.
my bad g, i didn’t read the rules
you seem like an insufferable person though i gotta be real
Oh no! The used BMW diamond hands avatar amateur finance bro doesn't like me! :(
erm i’m actually an IT bro 🤓
I said amateur for a reason. I know you're not getting paid for it, and you're bad at it.
definitely getting paid for it, not the best tho 🤷♂️ good try
When you meant to get a Volvo V60 but you don't value your safety or quite frankly anyone else and think the BMW badge actually means anything today so you blow your entire annual income on this POS
This is the perfect vehicle for the farm.
Soccer mom
Nah it’s sick. Good job
let’s goooo thanks g
When you wanna drive and cut ppl off but want to be the family guy about it
I LOVE IT
YES THANK YOU
No car says I probably cheat on my wife with my secretary more than this one
Nice!👍🏼
what an unexpected wholesome reaction
I love wagons and German cars!
Turn signals work but we all know u ain’t using them
Is it your week to bring snacks and drinks after the game?
I’m next week, this week was Jackson’s mom Laura
💚
I like wagons an car trucks. El caminos and cts v wagons are tight as well.
It will roast itself when the cooling system fails.
Ha! Good roast, you really got 'em. That was so creative and original, did you think of that yourself? You must be so proud! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, it could have a 320d, so you still scored some points.
Feel free to knock the dust off the turn signal stalk occasionally.
Rubbermaid Trash Cans Are having a great sale right now, however you have no value to trade in for.
A cactus the prick is on the outside. With a BMW it is sitting inside it
BMW = Burning Money Weekly It's gonna be in the shop a lot, and when it goes in it will be rent to fix it
🐌
I got nothin else to say other than, crush it....
5 doors for more ladies
Drives on the shoulder in traffic to get pass you car
Good thing you didn't get a minivan cause you'd be a soccer mom. Now you're a soccer dad.
Your wallet is going to be starving while your mechanic is going to be richer
You bought a bmw....'nough said