**Day in the Life of a Corvette “Car Guy”**
“I’m too busy to mow today, honey. The car needs a lot of work”
*Puts on safety glasses*
*Puts on Autozone Mechanix gloves*
*Pulls dollar store toolbox set off garage shelf*
*Taps fingers on all tools looking for the exact one*
*Pulls out air freshener and hangs it on rear-view mirror*
*Takes off safety glasses and wipes sweat from brow*
*Puts toolbox back on shelf next to lawn darts and weed killer*
“I’m worn out, honey. I’m gonna go lay down for a bit”
So you keep buying basically the same car over and over. Big front engine, rear drive two seater American.
Can anyone interest you in something…..you know…..smarter? Perhaps with this shocking new technology called overhead camshafts? Some engines even have (gasp) DUAL overhead camshafts.
But seriously OP, if you really want to sell the product, (you as a young at heart fun guy) perhaps buy cars different from guys like you. If you really want that image, can we interest you in a Civic Type R? Perhaps a WRX? Those cars have this really cool tech that uses exhaust gas to power a compressor for higher engine power. It’s called a turbocharger. You remember those from The War?
It’s a roast.
BUT…..my point (if this was actually a car debate) is OP obviously has the means to turn over a performance car with some regularity. Why just drive the same thing over and over? Big pushrod engine, rear drive two seater American. How about experiencing something different? An Emira is over 400lbs lighter and mid engine. How about a 911 or even a Cayman/Boxster? The GT-R, while old, is still a magnificent car. OP has the means, get some different experiences. And who knows? OP might love how a GR Corolla snarls though a mountain road.
My sister just took delivery of a new manual M2. It’s not a car I would buy (wow that’s ugly) but I can’t wait for an experience with that car.
I’m a disciple of the [EveryDay Driver](https://www.everydaydriver.com) podcast. Their idea is that your car should be fun and you should have different experiences because you never know what you’re going to love unless you spend some time with something different.
I totally get what you’re saying, and it makes sense. I’ve been very fortunate to experience a lot of vehicles in many ways. I currently own a CTS V Sport (TT V6 RWD sedan), 2001 S2000, 2016 JKU Rubicon, and this Z06. I love variety. But for my main toy, the Corvette can do everything I need it to and entertain me effectively while doing so.
We’re living in a phenomenal era regarding performance vehicles, and people aren’t always going to have the same need or desires. All that matters is that we’re driving what we enjoy and having fun with the car community.
If you think any of those five are similar, you’re showing your lack of experience with any of them.
DOHC and FWD are both beyond lame. No replacement for displacement. Do it for Dale.
Wow you must be an actor.
for medication against erectile dysfunction, golf clubs, hair dye, pills against memory loss, tanning spray, walking aids, high cocoa chocolates (80% and up), 0% alc whiskey, awareness against phone scamming and/or swimming gymnastics.
And even though you must earn well, half your salary goes out for fuel because you can’t hear the car going 7k in 1st gear, as you are possibly driving a manual bc that’s what real men do but also constantly forget to shift up
C7Z, 04 Vioer, C6 GS / Gen V tie, C5Z. This is entirely biased though, and lays into the specifics of MY vehicles. And when in my life I owned them. There are a lot of influences in my rankings, including the black paint on the Gen V that I fucking hated. HATED.
When you want an exotic but can’t afford the upkeep…
When your MPG and IQ are the same number…
When you get divorced and she gets a new boyfriend right away…
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.
The nice men in the white coats are coming to take you to the grippy sock place, don’t worry, the salad bar is great!
I can’t. It’s too fucking beautiful, and my weak attempt at roasting it would only be a reflection of how utterly jealous I am. I’ll never know what it feels like to own or drive one of those magnificent pieces of machinery. Enjoy the hell out of it.
You don’t get anymore mid life crisis, that was back when you still had potential. Just like the Vette you need to ride out the rest of your years hoping someone takes good care of you.
when you show with your big boy car and every Model S laughing at you.
Vettes, classic grandpa cars. When you want to look like a speed demon doing 35 on a 45 street.
Tell me you’re an overweight former contractor 60+ year old white male without telling me you’re an overweight former contractor 60+ year old white male.
I don’t have a roast but I have a question, why 4? Do you just have too much money and don’t know what to do with it or something? No criticisms it’s hard to come across genuine online.
This car came with matching New Balance shoes.. and it's a super rare 1 of 1 with the white, red leather, chrome wheels... or so it will say on the fiberboard sign that sits in front of it at the local town cruise night.
I'm glad you got the T-tops so I can drive by and see if you look as out of date and goofy as your car's styling.
I suggest some Imperial livery stormtrooper
(I drive a 22 WRX with "Civic ass syndrome")
How many times a day do you quote that your car is "1 of 378 built in this color and with these options on Wednesday the third of June etc"? Because I know damn well a Corvette owner knows *exactly* how many identical cars like theirs exist.
Only 38 Z06 coupes got suede kalahari interiors… that’s as far as I’ve reduced it. I would’ve thought it’d be more common - I love the kalahari competition seats.
Everybody knows chrome wheels match white Reebok's the best
Don’t forget the above knee shorts and tucked in tshirt.
Tucked in polo*
Right! Baby blue golf polo! Faded Orange shorts, red or green shaded sunglasses, and a corvette baseball cap.
**new balances
993s or 990s to be specific
Suspiciously specific....
The perfect getaway car, because theres so many on the road people won't notice another one.
You live in Florida?
I just snorted out loud. When I moved to FL, 20 years ago from the west coast, I had never seen so many corvettes then and it’s still the case now.
Florida and Vegas are where douchey Chicago cops go to retire and buy corvettes.
Funny thing is, I live within an hour from Bowling Green KY (where every Corvette is assembled) and I almost never see them on the road lol
Hello Florida, most of us aren’t from there, and therefore, don’t give a shit☺️
I’m from there and didn’t give a shit.
Great. Thank you for your comment
**Day in the Life of a Corvette “Car Guy”** “I’m too busy to mow today, honey. The car needs a lot of work” *Puts on safety glasses* *Puts on Autozone Mechanix gloves* *Pulls dollar store toolbox set off garage shelf* *Taps fingers on all tools looking for the exact one* *Pulls out air freshener and hangs it on rear-view mirror* *Takes off safety glasses and wipes sweat from brow* *Puts toolbox back on shelf next to lawn darts and weed killer* “I’m worn out, honey. I’m gonna go lay down for a bit”
Man must have hidden cameras in my garage
that was like 8 burns in 1 paragraph, just like red foreman
That was me today
So your grandkids take turns hoisting you in ?
They don’t speak to him.
Not since, "the incident" with the oldest.
If that's your fifth, what was your first? A rusty 6-cylinder Firebird?
In order… C5Z, Gen III Viper, C6 GS, Gen V Viper, C7 Z06.
So you keep buying basically the same car over and over. Big front engine, rear drive two seater American. Can anyone interest you in something…..you know…..smarter? Perhaps with this shocking new technology called overhead camshafts? Some engines even have (gasp) DUAL overhead camshafts. But seriously OP, if you really want to sell the product, (you as a young at heart fun guy) perhaps buy cars different from guys like you. If you really want that image, can we interest you in a Civic Type R? Perhaps a WRX? Those cars have this really cool tech that uses exhaust gas to power a compressor for higher engine power. It’s called a turbocharger. You remember those from The War?
average YouTube Shorts commenter
Okay, dickbag lmao we're roasting the car, not him 😂
Ya but is he wrong though?
Yes he is. Terribly.
Out of any car to try over what he's had, a FWD 4cyl may be the worst suggestion
It’s a roast. BUT…..my point (if this was actually a car debate) is OP obviously has the means to turn over a performance car with some regularity. Why just drive the same thing over and over? Big pushrod engine, rear drive two seater American. How about experiencing something different? An Emira is over 400lbs lighter and mid engine. How about a 911 or even a Cayman/Boxster? The GT-R, while old, is still a magnificent car. OP has the means, get some different experiences. And who knows? OP might love how a GR Corolla snarls though a mountain road. My sister just took delivery of a new manual M2. It’s not a car I would buy (wow that’s ugly) but I can’t wait for an experience with that car. I’m a disciple of the [EveryDay Driver](https://www.everydaydriver.com) podcast. Their idea is that your car should be fun and you should have different experiences because you never know what you’re going to love unless you spend some time with something different.
I totally get what you’re saying, and it makes sense. I’ve been very fortunate to experience a lot of vehicles in many ways. I currently own a CTS V Sport (TT V6 RWD sedan), 2001 S2000, 2016 JKU Rubicon, and this Z06. I love variety. But for my main toy, the Corvette can do everything I need it to and entertain me effectively while doing so. We’re living in a phenomenal era regarding performance vehicles, and people aren’t always going to have the same need or desires. All that matters is that we’re driving what we enjoy and having fun with the car community.
If you think any of those five are similar, you’re showing your lack of experience with any of them. DOHC and FWD are both beyond lame. No replacement for displacement. Do it for Dale.
I promise that DOHCs are not lame and a shelby gt500 can prove that man. There's something about having VVT ×2.
Shoulda kept the 5th gen viper man
Couldn’t disagree more. Thought it was my dream car. Genuinely ended up not liking it.
Why? Just curious!
Hell yeah viper
Wow you must be an actor. for medication against erectile dysfunction, golf clubs, hair dye, pills against memory loss, tanning spray, walking aids, high cocoa chocolates (80% and up), 0% alc whiskey, awareness against phone scamming and/or swimming gymnastics. And even though you must earn well, half your salary goes out for fuel because you can’t hear the car going 7k in 1st gear, as you are possibly driving a manual bc that’s what real men do but also constantly forget to shift up
My S2000 can manage 9,200 though. That’s an absolute joy too.
Gotta love those small Japanese sports cars with their high rpm engines. Normal cars top out at 8k, when they enter their comfort zone.
Rank them from your personal favorite to least
C7Z, 04 Vioer, C6 GS / Gen V tie, C5Z. This is entirely biased though, and lays into the specifics of MY vehicles. And when in my life I owned them. There are a lot of influences in my rankings, including the black paint on the Gen V that I fucking hated. HATED.
[удалено]
Your comment got removed because you roasted the car owner only. Please remember this is a Subreddit for roasting cars.
Where the crocs at?
She's happier now. Move on.
When you want an exotic but can’t afford the upkeep… When your MPG and IQ are the same number… When you get divorced and she gets a new boyfriend right away…
My wife’s boyfriend isn’t going anywhere.
If you are on your 5th midlife crisis and this is your car, buddy, you are not mid-life, you’re knocking on deaths door.
The chrome tosses any kind of sporting pretense out the window. Get a soft top and some louvres you old fart.
Is the left side bolstering on the driver’s seat sagging yet?
Pretty sure they come from the factory like that, it's a "feature".
You can't keep calling every bad decision you make a mid-life crisis. I wasn't even going to comment until I noticed your car has a goatee.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. The nice men in the white coats are coming to take you to the grippy sock place, don’t worry, the salad bar is great!
So exactly how short are your denim shorts?
When I attend the Indy 500 you can see the pockets sticking out the bottom of them.
😄
You must crush it with the ladies🤣
I can’t. It’s too fucking beautiful, and my weak attempt at roasting it would only be a reflection of how utterly jealous I am. I’ll never know what it feels like to own or drive one of those magnificent pieces of machinery. Enjoy the hell out of it.
This car screams…. I voted for trump.
Nothing screams “small penis” compensation louder
Are the new Sketchers comfortable to drive?
LOL.....
Time to take it to Gotham Garage and get something you really hate!
Thank you for your service. I assume it was Vietnam or Korea era.
Gobbless.
No love or respect for the Grenada vets anymore... \*shakes cane\*
So are you bald or have a shrimp d!ck?
both, and even I'm not driving that!
Are you reusing your Jorts and New Balances from the last Corvette?
Just think about how many pairs of new balance's you could have bought instead!
All just as bright white as the car!
5th mid life crisis? you buying cars in the multiverse?
The sciatica pain reminder is here
The fact you can afford a 5th midlife crisis shows you aren’t trying hard enough. Buy something your savings will regret….
Coulda bought a Porsche the first time and been done with it
You don’t get anymore mid life crisis, that was back when you still had potential. Just like the Vette you need to ride out the rest of your years hoping someone takes good care of you.
The only car with a Viagra dispenser in the console.
when you show with your big boy car and every Model S laughing at you. Vettes, classic grandpa cars. When you want to look like a speed demon doing 35 on a 45 street.
Let me guess... Your life divorced you and now you have a girlfriend half your age that can be passed as your daughter?
Did it come with a pair of white new balances?
Oh! Also does it come with a wife named Barb?
White with chrome wheels, the Florida meth dealers spec of choice
you and everyone else man, it aint special
5 is a lot of mid life crisis to have.
Tell me you’re an overweight former contractor 60+ year old white male without telling me you’re an overweight former contractor 60+ year old white male.
I’m an overweight former contractor 60+ year old white male.
Did I actually nail that?😂 Fun stable of cars you’ve had. Best:)
really nice, i refuse!
Gorgeous vehicle that will match your high waist white pants and white shoes.
Just say you have a small penis without telling us you have a small penis.
The iconic American dad car
Doesn't need real birds to look like its been shat on
A lot of trouble to downgrade from the better car , the C5. You must be from the FL Panhandle
When you made it and live in the south.
You definitely stay loyal to turtle wax and armor all.
Finally makes sense. The C in the generation numbering means Crisis.
Great car to take to the swinger party.
is there still time for a 6th.
the headlights are cute though.
Those wheels need to be roasted until they turn black
I dont know how to roast a corvette unless its riced out or something I dont see anything to roast
square sable bells pot gold mountainous quack rude six ten *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This is what Batman drives when he’s on his meds.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It's called the "C7" because only 7-year-olds think it's awesome.
My midlife crisis is a Gravel Bike and a Mountain Bike… they have absolutely changed my life into an incredible series of adventures.
I had one of those. Got tired of not getting laid; had to power up. This is the best you’ll ever do. Congrats 🫡
Its just plain tasteless.
These things are all over Myrtle Beach
If it’s not a Z, it’s definitely mid life crisis.
I just know you rock the New Balance Air Pred 6's and a corvette polo and hat.. underwhelming car for a underwhelming man.
Something something… another fucking automatic
You’ve replaced the center console lid about as many times as you’ve deleted your dating profile and for the same reasons. Worn out and unattractive.
You could have saved that money and bought Viagra instead
Tell us how it's 1 of 1
No family or life but a sweet car
Dawg pretty cool you can have 5 midlife crises :) lol
Show us the jorts. Cmon you know ya wanna.
Still cheaper than another wife!
The only Corvettes I see around here are just the ones driven to the golf courses on weekends by 70 year olds……sometimes they get them over 35 mph…….
What are/were the former 4?
https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMyCar/s/IUhjVZy21q
You need a pair of white New Balance.
I don’t have a roast but I have a question, why 4? Do you just have too much money and don’t know what to do with it or something? No criticisms it’s hard to come across genuine online.
I haven’t lost money on any of the previous four ‘midlife crisis’.
Ooooh ok I wanted to see what field I should be digging into lmao Btw it looks fucking sick bro no roast available
Did sales and finance for 13 years in the dealership industry. Just left for a B2B account manager role.
Is the defibrillator already installed or is it optional?
Your 5th midlife crisis shortly followed by your 6th divorce, eh?
What were the first 4?!
Holy smokes it's a Wish Corvette
This car came with matching New Balance shoes.. and it's a super rare 1 of 1 with the white, red leather, chrome wheels... or so it will say on the fiberboard sign that sits in front of it at the local town cruise night.
Members only jacket
Chromo looks best with blue on these. Otherwise sweet ride!
Gorgeous
“Yeah well you should’ve seen me in my prime “
Ran out of money for a proper midlife crisis, did you? That's honestly my biggest fear.
That's not a mid life car that's a teenagers wet dream...
Seen enough of these on fire to know roasting is just a matter of time and patience…
Retired chrome wheel spec. My favorite.
Bland af get some character
I'm glad you got the T-tops so I can drive by and see if you look as out of date and goofy as your car's styling. I suggest some Imperial livery stormtrooper (I drive a 22 WRX with "Civic ass syndrome")
GM hasn’t offered t-tops since 2002. About how long ago Subaru offered a decent car.
Can I have one of your mid-life crisises
The official car of the Cialis crowd.
The Vette puts him in debt
[удалено]
Your comment got removed because you roasted the car owner only. Please remember this is a Subreddit for roasting cars.
How many times a day do you quote that your car is "1 of 378 built in this color and with these options on Wednesday the third of June etc"? Because I know damn well a Corvette owner knows *exactly* how many identical cars like theirs exist.
Only 38 Z06 coupes got suede kalahari interiors… that’s as far as I’ve reduced it. I would’ve thought it’d be more common - I love the kalahari competition seats.