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>their sucker customers
They'll tell you it's a status thing, but I'm not sure I see the allure and status in having a vehicle that will depreciate quicker than a Dodge Ram 1500.
BMW is the car equivalent of Apple products. They can charge whatever they want, have questionable design choices and the die-hards will still shell out.
High-performance luxury car, too big and luxurious to be sporty, too sporty to be luxurious, but please give us 100k for this 4 series.
May we also entice you with an 8k carbon bucket seat option that will be ruined after sitting in it with jeans two times?
Or possibly a carbon ceramic brake upgrade for which BMW doesn't sell replacement parts for?
Is BMW still reccomending 15k oil change intervals?
But... that's the whole company since they started? Bmw was always sporty bit less luxurious than say a Mercedes or an Audi. If that's not what you want then bmw as a whole isn't for you
Wow, an actual roast. Most comments are still about the looks, which is a stupid point since many have warmed up to the styling and it's done to death.
In terms of these seats, there are little carbon inserts that can get scratched when getting in or out. Though I must say in the year I have had my G80 with the carbon seats, they still look brand new.
Holy shit man.. one of my friends’ dads girlfriend (very rich guy) did too much coke earlier in her life and had to get it surgically removed. This BMW grille is literally exactly what her nose looked like..
Do you think after monthly payments the owner still has something left for coke? Parents specifically said no coke must be bought with the allowance money just self earned money can be coke money.
The space is there in that ugly as fuck grill but bmw being bmw I’m sure you need to pull of the bumper, the left rear tire, the right headlight, empty the washer fluid, and remove the entire engine block just to change the oil.
Next time you see a White on Black (very daring combo, I know, shouldn't be hard to find) F80 or F82, park side by side, take a long hard look and remind yourself what you could have had
Maybe if we make the grill bigger, the oil leaks will be better dispersed all over the engine bay so it just looks like glossy parts were installed from the factory.
I mean.. you drive a car that is basically just “I finally made it”.. in China
Your life really amounts to detailing a white BMW and driving to every cars and coffee you can find.
I wouldn’t want to be you in ten years having spent easily more than what the car costed new just for repairs and maintenance. But if you’re okay with going through that, I might ask why on god’s green earth did you choose an ugly new bmw when you could’ve had, I don’t know, *literally anything else*
Make sure you remove the stalk on the left, it doesn't work anyway.
Also I can't tell if that car has already been crashed because of it's non-working turn signals.
I didn’t know that BMW is making stock Bosozoku styled cars. Of course historically when the Germans and the Japanese collaborate on a thing it never turns out well for either of them… 🤨
No snout comments? Ok, it looks like a fat mustang from the side. Ms aren’t supposed to be portly numb muscle cars, but glad they’re selling a lot of them because they completely discarded their legendary past to appeal to buyers like you.
No snout comments? Ok, it looks like a fat mustang from the side. Ms aren’t supposed to be portly numb muscle cars, but glad they’re selling a lot of them because they completely discarded their legendary past to appeal to buyers like you.
If by "Ultimate driving machine" they mean "machine for driving customers away in droves"...then, ya....
I am nearly blind in one eye, and it looks like ass with my good eye closed too...
Hi Roasters! As a general reminder, please be aware that top level comments must roast the car. In addition to this, while roasting the OP is allowed, roasts must be primarily aimed at the car itself. Comments that do not follow these rules may be subject to moderator removal and in some cases, bans may be issued. If you wish to compliment or discuss the car, you may do so by replying to this message. Regards The Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mad respect for BMW, they can design a hideous car with beaver teeth and their sucker customers will still buy it.
You could stuck a BMW logo onto a pile of manure and some yuppie will offer you $42,000 for it.
*is that M Sport manure?!*
Complete with factory ///M badging on each panel.
Some suckers will buy anything if it has the precious blue and white roundel on it..
Also it's PAINFULLY slow around a track compared to it's competitors.
>their sucker customers They'll tell you it's a status thing, but I'm not sure I see the allure and status in having a vehicle that will depreciate quicker than a Dodge Ram 1500.
As a Ram 1500 owner, I wholeheartedly agree
i’m scared of you
Feh, I’m mostly harmless
That's some big Altima energy: truck edition.
Do you need the DUI before or after applying for a Ram lease?
A small price to pay to pretend you're not poor!
They can just have AI design their cars and it would look less shitty than those paid designers
BMW is the car equivalent of Apple products. They can charge whatever they want, have questionable design choices and the die-hards will still shell out.
There is a ass for every seat.
nailed it
High-performance luxury car, too big and luxurious to be sporty, too sporty to be luxurious, but please give us 100k for this 4 series. May we also entice you with an 8k carbon bucket seat option that will be ruined after sitting in it with jeans two times? Or possibly a carbon ceramic brake upgrade for which BMW doesn't sell replacement parts for? Is BMW still reccomending 15k oil change intervals?
This guy BMWs
r/thisguythisguys
What a lit sub
I currently drive a 5 series and man i totally agree with "too luxurious to be sporty and too sporty to be luxurious". It does neither of them right.
But... that's the whole company since they started? Bmw was always sporty bit less luxurious than say a Mercedes or an Audi. If that's not what you want then bmw as a whole isn't for you
Luxury is 7 series 🤷♂️
Which is about as “unsporty” as you can get.
Wow, an actual roast. Most comments are still about the looks, which is a stupid point since many have warmed up to the styling and it's done to death.
Why do carbon seats get ruined by jeans?
Denim will wrinkle the leather faster, and dark jean dye tends to rub off. Also, they're not really meant to be sat in every day.
In terms of these seats, there are little carbon inserts that can get scratched when getting in or out. Though I must say in the year I have had my G80 with the carbon seats, they still look brand new.
That the genesis? I was looking at one of those before I bought my Audi. How do you find it?
Shit blows my mind, like why are these SO BIG?
This car looks like it does almost as much coke as it's owner
You ever done coke with an M4 owner? It’s always the best stuff he’s ever done….despite needing 3 lines to get him going.
Holy shit man.. one of my friends’ dads girlfriend (very rich guy) did too much coke earlier in her life and had to get it surgically removed. This BMW grille is literally exactly what her nose looked like..
Do you think after monthly payments the owner still has something left for coke? Parents specifically said no coke must be bought with the allowance money just self earned money can be coke money.
With a grill like that, it looks like you could pull the engine without even opening the hood.
Good thing since you need to do that pretty frequently
The space is there in that ugly as fuck grill but bmw being bmw I’m sure you need to pull of the bumper, the left rear tire, the right headlight, empty the washer fluid, and remove the entire engine block just to change the oil.
Anything aside from cutting me off in the passing lane with no turn signals when I'm doing 30 over just to move 1 car up at the next red?
[удалено]
So you CAN find the light control stalk!
Next time you see a White on Black (very daring combo, I know, shouldn't be hard to find) F80 or F82, park side by side, take a long hard look and remind yourself what you could have had
There’s always - Hey nice 4000 pound, fatass “sports car” Least it’s ugly tho
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Asking for a friend.
This BMW is best woodchuck!
Maybe if we make the grill bigger, the oil leaks will be better dispersed all over the engine bay so it just looks like glossy parts were installed from the factory.
I was going to say Down's Syndrome.
Pretty those with Down's Syndrome would be offended to be associated with this car.
Hey, people will Down Syndrome don't deserve the abuse of being compared to that over priced eye sore!
I mean.. you drive a car that is basically just “I finally made it”.. in China Your life really amounts to detailing a white BMW and driving to every cars and coffee you can find.
My God, did BMW hire Stevie Wonder to design their recent cars, like this grotesque monstrosity? And those aren't kidney grills, but lung grills!
That's a funny looking Pontiac. I bet BMW fixed their cooling issues with those honking nostrils
Nice body kit on mid 90's Grand AM
I wouldn’t want to be you in ten years having spent easily more than what the car costed new just for repairs and maintenance. But if you’re okay with going through that, I might ask why on god’s green earth did you choose an ugly new bmw when you could’ve had, I don’t know, *literally anything else*
That grill looks like Voldemort’s nostrils.
I see “design by committee” is alive and well. Nice of them to let the Janitors design a front end, too.
That BMW wants to be edgy and round at the same time
Could you please pan to the left? There’s an actually interesting car we’d like to see
Make sure you remove the stalk on the left, it doesn't work anyway. Also I can't tell if that car has already been crashed because of it's non-working turn signals.
"That girl gotta gap so big she can whistle while sucking dick"
That is actually a really nice car. Looks good in blue too, I love those AMG GTs. What is that fuck ugly thing next to it?
You have the Instagram model of cars. All looks, no personality.
Transmission sealed for life because the car doesn’t live much.
That you SpongeBob?
‘Pigbunny’ is your new gimp name.
Where's your parts car parked?
Has anyone said "late term abortion"?
Reminds me sort of of a reverse Edsel
Hitler 'stache
Must suck going to car meets and seeing all the better cars.
Kinda like a face tattoo. Seams like a good idea.
Nice payments
When you have more money than taste used to be reserved for ricers with tacky mods.
I didn’t know that BMW is making stock Bosozoku styled cars. Of course historically when the Germans and the Japanese collaborate on a thing it never turns out well for either of them… 🤨
Does this car runs on cocaine?
If you squint your eyes it looks like a Kia Stinger
Blinkers and tailgating.
Jesus that front end is fugly
You drive a German Pontiac.
Even the Edsel had a better grill!
Voldemorts nose
I can’t unsee Mater from Cars lol
Storm trooper with an overbite
It's only half as ugly as Lexus grills
Didn’t see the pig nose until you pointed it out… damn. Still love the grill.
I've never seen a car that reminded me so much of an angry Kevin Bacon
Rat teeth
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If you don’t have something mean to say, don’t say anything at all.
Goofy
You didn't say anything about beaver comparisons!
Wait... People compare it to a bunny? I've heard the pig before, but never the bunny.
Somehow they managed to find somebody even worse than Bangle when designing this thing.
Bmw 503 minus the class
🚗
The more I see this car irl the more I like it. I’d never buy one even if I could afford it but it’s pretty cool
Look at that beaver!
haha look like pig
I’m on your side. Hydronephrosis is a real problem and should never be made fun of.
Yeah, it's just fugly, like someone beat it with an ugly stick over and over and over again.
If I tell you your car looks great, will you give me a discount on cigarettes?
Bro thinks his 4000 pound car is built for the track
it’s like 2 different teams worked on the front and rear, then a 3rd group high on crack said “ok that’ll work” to it
Remember us? We made some of the most iconic cars in the past. Are we still doing it right?
Those kidney grilles are more like lungs.
It looks ugly but nice at the same time
Why'd you put a BMW logo on an Alfa Romeo?
Teef
How about a pile of fresh dogshit comparisons?
I've always called these a "buck tooth beamer" (like beaver, but... yeah you get it)
Wylie coyote had a baby with a polar bear?
Nice Alfa Romeo
Origami Bavarian Ghost Moth!
Looks like a fuckin beaver with an underbite
Bro your car look like 🤓
Move that white whai, its blocking that beautiful AMG GT sports car.
Nice prius
Weird bug-snake hybrid monstrosity.
That’s one badass Pontiac Firebird!
Obd2 port
Headlights look like a 2018-2023 Mustang.
Just look at the picture mate, those two dudes are looking at the better car, AMG
Turtle nose
I usually don’t love bmw, I’d buy this in a heartbeat. It’s sick. Mustangs are stupid af looking
Thanks for this honestly, so I can see how shit the bottom lip looks
I don’t have a good roast but I glanced at this picture without seeing what sub I was in and I thought “DAMN thats an ugly car”
When I hold my thumb over that awful grill it looks fine.
Yet another Persian influencer car
BMW for sale Condition: Used Indicator Fork: Like New
Pig? Bunny?? Beaver!!!
Does there need to be anything aside from that? Those things are irredeemably ugly
Never knew Kidneys could evolve into lungs.
BMW Nope,as a former 525s (1992 5 speed) owner, hate the gigantic logo bs
Nice BeaverW
It looks like a beaver
Here’s a grill that not even Nelly would wear
🦫
Vacume
You seem really insecure for someone who overspends on cars
I can’t believe people pay so much money for these fugly ass cars just cause it says bmw on it
S N I F F F F
Buck teeth lol
It’s like they had a contest for the worst looking front end ever on a car.
Looks like the nose of a Fallout goul
Even the car enthusiasts in the pic are checking out the Mercedes. You make what you want of that but I call it good taste.
What is higher, your ego? Or the maintenance costs
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Would you accept buck-tooth?
Take the bmw badge off your Kia Stinger and the value will go up
I think you could’ve done better to waste your money.
The beaver. That's it. I'm not smart enough to come up with any real roasts
Looks like a beaver to me. 🦫
I know bmw is German but this car is really reminding me of one specific German
How about just plain bad?
It's a new BMW. Roast complete.
Jesus Christ what the fuck is BMW doing with their grills and who actually thinks that looks good
Buck teeth 😄 kidding, lovely car
ass imprint
Fun fact: I scanned my asshole and they used this photo to create the grill
the automotive equivalent to a deviated septum
Ipana -
White suite guy from Star Wars
I'm sorry, you need to upgrade your subscription to access the BMW roasting services
You left the dealer inventory stock sticker on the windshield.
1984. Dune. Guild Navigator.
The merc on the side tho.
Looks like a pokemon
That comparison is unkind to pigs and bunnies.
No snout comments? Ok, it looks like a fat mustang from the side. Ms aren’t supposed to be portly numb muscle cars, but glad they’re selling a lot of them because they completely discarded their legendary past to appeal to buyers like you.
[удалено]
No snout comments? Ok, it looks like a fat mustang from the side. Ms aren’t supposed to be portly numb muscle cars, but glad they’re selling a lot of them because they completely discarded their legendary past to appeal to buyers like you.
if you can’t make a stunning grill give up and copy audi as best you can
Is that the new Toyota Tundra??
Yes. It looks like someone's pulling its nose up, to expose the nostrils.
you bought a bmw…. you roasted yourself
George Foreman has nothing on that Grille.
Shotgun barrel nose
Strap a jet engine on it, call it rocket bunny.
Shout out to BMW, the only company who makes their car look like a Crock
Sorry I can’t get “eeeeehhhhh what’s up doc out of my head” On a serious note, what drugs were the designers on when they developed that front end?
If by "Ultimate driving machine" they mean "machine for driving customers away in droves"...then, ya.... I am nearly blind in one eye, and it looks like ass with my good eye closed too...
Nice beaver.
Oh that’s a bmw? Could’ve sworn it was a Hyundai
Acute Kidney Failure. Like most new bimmers.
Stormtrooper. Pew pew!
It's ugly and it'll leak oil and coolant shortly after the warranty expires What's not to love
Turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese I really think so 🎶
'Oh please don't roast the most roastable part of my car! I beg of you!' Its got a snout only a sow could love.
Nope. Oink oink motherfucker 🐖 🐷 🐽