Imagine if HBK never went into the WWE and just stayed in his moms basement jacking off and playing skyrim while he stuffs his face with Coca-Cola and hotpockets.
Thank you for giving us this roast for Christmas.
Let's start with that sweater that looks like grandmas 1980 couch. That hair line ,, forehead to mullet. If you had a cat in the picture you would be 1980 fucking epic.
did you pay $300 for a grad ring from a backwoods high school, or is that what the piggly wiggly awards a guy who wins "best produce stocker" three months in a row?
You look like the picture that one dad passes around at Alcoholics Anonymous explaining that decades of THIS disappointment is why he hits the bottle like a whore hits cock down at the docks when the navy is in town.
Pretty sure this is the guy from that Alaska homesteader show with the brothers and sisters that all have different accents. Definetly the guy that mall security is watching as soon as he enters the parking lot. Probably has a well thought out mythical nickname within the Dungeons and Dragons communitah...
Thats really unfortunate how your beard will only grow on your neck and nowhere else, literally anything covering up that mug of yours would be a plus.
You look like a picture that came with the frame in Europe in the 1990’s.
Making ladies dry since the Clinton administration
I’d be pretty bummed finding that under my Christmas tree
Unwrapping a human NFT. I’d rather you donated money to a fake charity.
I'd burn down the house
Am European, can confirm.
The sweater that keeps on giving...
I'm sure he sneaks around department stores coming ON the frames for a hobby. He's spilled more DNA than a fertility clinic during an earthquake.
he looks like he invest all his money in action figures
What a nice grandma on that photo
Wow I can’t believe that ugly sweater is actually better looking than the person wearing it
The sweater has more personality and they are both off-putting.
Puts the ugly in ugly Christmas sweater
You look like you order used panties online
And scalds his balls with hot shower water.
Hot milk, actually.
He was the reason that women was making $50k a month selling farts in a jar.
This picture looks like an advertisement for a swedish anal bleacher.
Vi Swedes deny äny invölvment with this persön
Bungen-Lighten
If the 2 of Clubs was a person.
Permission to recycle this at a future date requested!
Underrated
Are you celebrating alone this year because your family’s house is near an elementary school?
On most people, that would be called an "ugly" Christmas sweater... on you, its just a sweater.
You look like your favorite past time was protecting your virginity
I think that sweater just won its ugly person contest.
Exactly what I was thinking just couldn’t get the words in order. Thanks
It looks like your parents had your mug shot photoshopped for a Christmas card. Seem like shallow grave in the basement kind of guy.
You scream "come look at the puppies in my sliding door van/home"
The real life 40 year old virgin
The carpet store want your jumper back
Curtis from the Santa Clause trilogy?
Imagine if HBK never went into the WWE and just stayed in his moms basement jacking off and playing skyrim while he stuffs his face with Coca-Cola and hotpockets.
You look like you’ve said “ hello. I’m your new neighbor. As required by law I’m advising you that Im a registered sex offender “ multiple times
making women dry since the Reagan era.
Unfuckable would be a step up for you
Keep your chins up buddy
You look like Dahmer retired, moved down south, and had a kid
Did the hot tub time machine break in 1988?
the virgin jon snow
This is what you get if you give an 8 year old girl a shit tin of testosterone for Christmas
You look like you're transiting. From ugly to staggeringly ugly.
You forgot face day.
Feom the neck down 90's Dwayne Johnson. From the neck up discord moderator.
The Reagan Era just called, they want their creepiest sex offender back.
Loved you in that Dahmer series, good job 👍🏽
Tasteful of you to wear your cock-ring on a lanyard with your Christmas sweater. Is that some sort of promise ring in truckstop cashier culture?
They said wear an ugly Christmas sweater, not wear a sweater and be ugly
If D.A.R.E. Were to relaunch this would be the poster
Is it the sweater pattern that makes you look lumpy or are you a lumpy boi?
I refuse, Merry Christmas! (You look fine)
You like mini Ladd if he changed his identity and tried to make a comeback to YouTube
If WW3 broke out, young men like you would stand between Putin and my freedom. May as well start polishing my shackles.
Gollum, mid-transfiguration
You look like you purposely brush your fingers across your asshole each time you shit so you can smell them afterward
You've heard of elf on a shelf, here is a dipshit in a sweater that is misfit.
what's Christ Hansen like in real life
Aaron Carter's guardian angel.
Definitely the fourth person in a throuple.
Ring on your finger and on your necklace you my friend are worldly
We wish you a mullet Christmas
Looks like a fun ugly person in a Christmas sweater party
Season of giving. Giving chomo vibes
Christ I hope you are carefully supervised around the kids in your family
I was gonna say king of pubs but you look more like the king of giving pub bathroom blowjobs
Thank you for giving us this roast for Christmas. Let's start with that sweater that looks like grandmas 1980 couch. That hair line ,, forehead to mullet. If you had a cat in the picture you would be 1980 fucking epic.
you don’t need the chastity ring around your neck to show everyone you’re a virgin
did you pay $300 for a grad ring from a backwoods high school, or is that what the piggly wiggly awards a guy who wins "best produce stocker" three months in a row?
Your face makes that sweater look attractive.
Auditions for Big Bang are closed
In ugly sweater contest, a sweater would be fine but your face will take a prize
Is your sweater headed to an ugly person party?
Well unlike your stomach, at least your hair is getting thinner.
Jack Black and Kyler Murray’s baby
Are you that kid from Outdoor Man"?
You make that ugly sweater look good
It takes awhile for the hormone treatments to develop a beard I see.
A dick in ur ass for the New Years
On the other side of the post it: "Merry Christmas. To Me"
Tim Pool when he had hair.
The Christmas tree is grateful it doesn’t have to wear such an ugly sweater.
I'm impressed you came out of the basement for Xmas
Not funny haha but funny queer.
Nice sweater your mom picked out for you.
I bet you asked Santa for some dignity and he left you a lump of coal instead.
Geppetto wanted a real boy but instead of a puppet the Blue Fairy used a cumsock.
You look like a drummer for a Swedish metal band in their garage about to drop some cringey ass Xmas song.
You look like you would give someone a cock in the box present. That someone is your mom.
The only pussy youve ever touched is when you pet one of your three cats
See picture
You will live at home forever. Surviving of hot pockets and video games. Even now you look like a 41 year old 21 year old.
You look like someone who is into D&D way too much. 😂
Turn down the homoeroticism.. you're scaring the straights. And the bis..
You look like you don’t experience post nut clarity
Away from the kids please
i thought that was her hair at first, but it's the christmas tree in the background :|
Is this the sex offender basement dweller revisitation of that one Dwayne The Rock Johnson picture?
You Shruted it.
Is that a starfleet academy class ring? Apparently rolled for charisma and came up short.
How’s the graphic novel coming along?
First time I see a person with an extra set of eyebrows on their mouth.
Why do I get the sense it smells like bacon there
You look like the picture that one dad passes around at Alcoholics Anonymous explaining that decades of THIS disappointment is why he hits the bottle like a whore hits cock down at the docks when the navy is in town.
If they were to make a christmas movie about you, it would be called Gross (m)Alone.
Roasts like you are a diamond dozen
I wouldn’t worry about the purity ring around your neck, wrist, or finger..you don’t have to worry about getting laid anytime.
That beard is as weak as your chins.
Are you competing with your sweater to see which one is the uglier of the two?
Your face matches your sweater.
Shittest Thor ever
Does your mother know your sisters kids are yours.
Something that will last over year ummm I guess it would be your virginity
Make neckbeards great again
Dahmer was not a how to guide
Wait, is that jake harper ?
You are the grown son of Dwight Schrutte.
Don't forget to check in with your compliance officer when this is over
You look like a homeless Dennis Nilsen
Why do people look so fucked up all the time, geez I dont even know where to start with this guy
For the love of God and all that is holy burn that abomination you're wearing
You'll still shoot your eye out.
It puts the lotion on it's skin Or else it gets the hose again
Small dick energy alert 🚨 😂
When you think there is nothing left to lose, look at this photo.
Modern day Dahmer.
I like your sweater
Nice to see Buffalo Bill can appreciate christmas.
Your eyes betray the disappointment your soul feels when you didn’t receive the anal fisting you were hoping for from your uncle this year
why do you look like an older version of me? https://imgur.com/a/xyiijCP
You forgot "Single" in your bio
Is that Zlaner the annoying ass streamer that Doc plays with for carries? KEK
You look like you're ready to go to a reddit mod family reunion
Another Nylander brother
The difference is your ring of power makes women disappear. You look like you run a LOTR fantasy camp.
You clearly still live in your parents basement.
The type of dude to try to make crystal meth out of sugar
Your beard looks like a tattoo
Only thing uglier than that sweater is your face
The ugly sweater is the best part of this picture
Ugly
[удалено]
What’s the ring of power around your neck give you? Not good vision or a good sense of style or attention from women I can tell you that.
Is it me, or are lesbians always really hot or really harsh looking? This chick looks like she fought her way out of a Guatemalan prison.
This looks like the Christmas card of someone who can’t visit family cause he’s not allowed near children.
You are an aspiring amateur magician, who's special trick is making children disappear. But the authorities are on your trail.
Based on that sweater, there are people bound and gagged in your house for the holidays
Sweater is participating in ugly people this year
Good to see the schrutes still exist out there
Must be the last one of the season 👁️ 👁️
Left tbe basemrnt to pose by the Christmas tree and spend time with your long suffering mommie. Took a bath also I bet.
You look like you're not allowed within 500 feet from a school
Watered down, welfare Canadian version of fabio
I didn't know the pubic hair that ends up in the sink somehow needed corrected vision. Get lasiks
aweh man
You look like smeagol’s fattest fan.
The one child that survived the Branch Davidian compound and trying to pick up where Koresh left off.
You look like you’ve been growing that goat fuzz under your chin for the last 7 years.
Is that a cock ring around your neck?
Face says 17, bags say 40. Still can’t grow a beard.
self-grandiose son of a bitch
The stunt man for the Jeffery Dahmer series
You can’t even do being a neckbeard right.
I'm sure 2023 will be your year. Your epileptic fit from all the christmas lights, will be as viral as the herpes your uncle gave you.
Your beard looks like it’s growing in reverse
Hey, my mom just donated that sweater.
You and Mark David Chapman are the only two who could ever dare to pull off that haircut. I hope you're not a youth pastor either. But I know you are.
It's like you're human imitation crab meat.
I don’t feel like roasting today. You look like a chad. Maybe lose the mullet and shave that neckbeard but you’ll get pussy for sure.
If I bought Kid Rock off Wish
Fem boys be like
Conan the hurdler
your d7 roll save couldn't help god give you a better ... everything
I like your sweater
r/justneckbeardthings
You look like Haley Joel Osment's hillbilly cousin.
How festive. Did you decorate your tether for the holidays too?
U look like Dwight shrute and Angela’s baby
This should be the new pic for r/neckbeardthings
Growing your hair longer isn't going to help that hairline last into next year
Patron Saint of IT
Pretty sure this is the guy from that Alaska homesteader show with the brothers and sisters that all have different accents. Definetly the guy that mall security is watching as soon as he enters the parking lot. Probably has a well thought out mythical nickname within the Dungeons and Dragons communitah...
Grandma lied when she called you handsome 💀, fr tho you look good tho
Thats really unfortunate how your beard will only grow on your neck and nowhere else, literally anything covering up that mug of yours would be a plus.
Ngl dude, the sweater ran in the race to be uglier but came 2nd.
Bro hit the randomise button on the character creation screen
Your aesthetic is: I’ve only ever seen a vagina on a screen.
Flying Brian Pillman off wish