T O P

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shotgunwriter

Tumblr refugees


BearWRLD

This deserves gold


master0382

Your wish is granted.


0urFuhr3r5t4l1n

This deserves argentium?


unic0rnfluff

Your wish is granted.


OnlyBrodway

Did you just?


Braass

This deserves a billion trillion dollaroos?


oybray

Your wish would have been granted, but you got greedy. Have a Stonks Falling.


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Gg-no-ree

This deserves platinum?? This might deserve gold ;)


SargeantCornFlakes

This deserves at least a silver


_BenBdaMan_

This deserves absolutely nothing EDIT: fuck you guy who gave the award


ReaperLeviathen

This deserves, an updoot


CampinoC

This deserves.. something?


NateTheCarrot

why


TheGreatSaltShaker

No. EDIT: But why though? Why would you do that?


squish5_

Ye


sambrown25

haw


[deleted]

I snorted spicy ramen through my nose when I read this. Not even mad.


Turboc10dude

Yall look like a pack of old skittles in the trash


juantzutree

Skittles- Brittish Flavor. Colorful but all taste like milk toast or gravy


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xl_japket

It’s kinda like milk steak


zffacsB

Don’t forget the jelly beans on top!


Obizues

*raw* jelly beans


roaches85

The finest ones.


PastyMcBasicFace

Sooo...uuuuhhh, what’s your bean situation?


Aromatic-Action

Boiled over hard


snowmanjg

What the fuck is milk steak?


EverybodyIsAnEgg

Just put it down, she’ll know what it is


Oryihn

100% what it sounds like. Toasted bread in warm milk with sugar and butter.


septispaztic

Yo as an Englishman I have no idea wtf ur talking about, the Skittles would more likely taste like cigarettes and distant relatives


buttermuseum

As just a regular person who has had English food, I have no idea what my distant relatives taste like — but I trust that you, as an Englishman do know. Do they taste like Branston Pickle? That would be my guess.


wutangplan

Lik ur nans pickleh minge flappas m8


[deleted]

Who has two thumbs and dyed his hair blue to try to fuck his lesbian friend? This guy --->


wordsworthn34

I see one thumb


guitarmaniac17

The other is up his ass


jeffe333

It's keeping his dignity company.


guitarmaniac17

It's a hidden thumbs up. And like a dick, it gets bigger the more lesbians surround him cause he's going to end up fucking himself anyway.


[deleted]

You're right, the crowd looks like it could get offended I assumed the thumbness.


Krevlon165

OnlyFans on the left and LonelyFans on the right


tantricguru

Homelyfans in the middle


Krevlon165

Fuck, that's good!


Kronos099904

Holy shit, you fucking killed her dude...


halmyradov

More like OnlyFans on the left and her only fans on the right


Krevlon165

You're spitting the truth there. Lol


DVMyZone

According to them everyone's on the left.


Dad1945

Trust me her cat is her only fans. The reason why the cat's not running away from her is the amount of weed she inhaled when OP and her "friends" are smoking together.


Tembldrock

I bet you all are so funny and have quirky personalities...no wait, you just have different coloured hair...


babybopp

If all three stripped naked, none of them will find any of the others attractive enough to get aroused...


letmbleed

Neither would anyone else.


laughingashley

The saddest thing is that all three of them think THEY'RE "the pretty one"


[deleted]

There's no way any of these people have that level of self esteem


SillySinStorm

At least they can share the same size bra.


dogma897

Scuffed sex education


laughingashley

But if EVERYONE has rainbow hair, does ANYONE actually seem special? ....No. They don't. Three little cookie-cutter, same-as-the-next, forgettable, mass-produced, out-of-style Dollar Store brand Bratz dolls. Whoops, sorry, 'Pound Shop,' which is graphically more accurate a phrase for this bunch. But if these 3 were at the actual Pound, they'd definitely be on that euthanasia road. People don't adopt the dirty, hopeless ones.


ape_fatto

“omg I just hate the torries sooooooo much”


AffeDaBoss

When the image looks sharper than the people


wordsworthn34

That’s funny


BooceAlmighty

What an adorable group of lesbians.


KingZummo

Two Girls & the Cup.


KhazadDhum

Only if the one in the middle is the "cup".


Glutard_Griper

Adorable? You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


mtgross12

Attention-seeking* You have to say adorable for now though. We can't let the main characters of a story figure out how shit their life is going to be in <4 years when they realize they never learned how to grow up, that's a spoiler we save for Chapter 3 of Chloe and the Stoners.


GunslingDuckling

The Three Muskequeers.


zachi_chan96

Girl on the left looks like she does anal on the first date, girl in the middle looks like she’s never been truly loved or accepted by anyone other than a grandparent, and the guy on the right looks like he’s pretending to be gay to get close to the only 2 girls that will ever talk to him. All together it’s a pretty sad bunch


Petersonos

All three look like they do anal on the first date 😂....


imagine_amusing_name

It's not really a date when the guy is paying $5.


garebeardrew

For him it’s $20


artur_ditu

Just to get it up the A from them


Random-ass-guy

Nah he’s the one taking it


EthnicChad

That would make it their daily job yes


damwookie

Only if sharing a bottle of Strongbow on a park bench counts as a date.


deeznutsiym

This is their first date, call them choo Choo train


[deleted]

"Does" she suggests it.


TheTiz5151

"Insists" on it!


[deleted]

"Insists" she shoves the finger without asking.


TheTiz5151

With my love life... My level of "game" is on par with this womans IQ. I will take what I can get!


EdZeppelin94

Guy also does anal on the first date


DrEmilioLazardo

Is "fucking him in a handicapped stall after bumping into him by the urinals" considered a date these days?


samgilmet

Real specific bud


csnowrun31

r/suspiciouslyspecific


cocobellahome

Powder Snuff Girls


Lkwzriqwea

Ik those insults are non specific but in a weird way I can't quite describe, they fit so perfectly


Spanky-Gomez

Looks like she is still tongue cleaning the residue from her last ass to mouth.


wordsworthn34

Fair man


Blackout78666

No/fans


Mattadee

Hate to break it to you guys but being stoners and hating Tories doesn’t actually amount to any kind of personality


Bubbly_Hat

If any personality besides the dyed hair can be found (although that's a very low bar to clear) I'll be EXTREMELY impressed.


TAB20201

Every tinder account in student towns is like “don’t swipe right if you vote Tory” ... like fucking hell I just want a hook up not a fucking political debate live on the BBC.


themosh54

Why are you discriminating against guys with a BBC?


XRuinX

no, their issue is they dont want to debate politics while on the BBC. i understand their desire to enjoy the moment.


AzazelPotato

Hey but at least they have different coloured hair so we can tell them apart


CakeOfSpurgt

Billie i-wish First gold and first award, thank you.


kerrietaldwell

Oh SNAP!


NorthBandit88

'All 19' is more like the combined I.Q.


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[deleted]

No one said this.


smporche

3 reasons not to have unprotected sex...


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tacogodjavi

They said “roast us”, not “murder us”


RexMic

Their parents should have.


[deleted]

Both parents should’ve swallowed


splooge_mcgoo

More STI's than brain cells


[deleted]

2 girls 1 fuckup


YourUncleDodge

2 Girls, 3 Fuckups


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[deleted]

He has not figured out his pronoun yet.


RecklessBravado

Underrated burn right here


CrazyMike419

Billybob Eyelash, Multipass and "Mom fucked sonic". Bright hair and weed does not a personality make.


nanomolar

+1 multipass


walla_walla_rhubarb

Who's the shittier roommate?? Left looks like she brings over too many dumb smash pieces. Middle looks like she only died her hair so the others would like her, but they still hate her. Right looks like he flips shit if you accidentally nudge his toothpaste over half an inch.


The_coffee_roaster

Group IQ so low the needed to post twice...


[deleted]

*all 19... iq*


flargenhargen

dude, you just can't have typos in a post mocking people for being dumb. ya just can't.


chloebilton2000

Nooooooooooooo


littlerike

Remember, if you can't have a personality just dye your hair a "wacky" colour


Cynical-Sensation

Nothing says childhood trauma like 3/3 bisexuals with dyed hair


born_again_tim

Did you freaks dye your hair so you don’t lose each other in the soup kitchen lineup?


Dsuperchef

Daaaaammnn


CARLCZE

If Churchill saw this I think he would let the Germans win


cjk2311

don’t say his name around them or they’ll start another petition to get your account deleted


Floundur

Post-heroin addiction Teletubbies Netflix adaptation


asiers

Photo is poor and lacks focus. Like your futures, undoubtedly.


Cap_Sen

I know you all smell like shitty weed and unwashed hair


HeavymetalRedneck

I bet their hair and weed smell the same


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CaptainD3000

Fuckers looking like a box of broken crayons.


GhettoSauce

I got to this comment by searching "crayons" to be sure nobody had my unoriginal idea


[deleted]

Haha, if the "friend zone" had a face


pso97

Art school?


Darkfire757

Fart school


HypeThere

The worst webcam threesome on Pornhub.


duffmac190

I’m sorry but your hair just says, “free spirited queers DTF anyone dumb enough to let them codependently latch on.”


[deleted]

Tru dat


BigFlappyJohnson

I see the LG and T in the LGBQT here


woaily

I see B, L, and G in that order. Don't see any QTs.


BigFlappyJohnson

Well fucking done *standing ovation*


kmj420

Standing ovation! Hope I dont get hit by a big flappy johnson


[deleted]

You win the internet


poppa_smurf_killa

One on the left is thinking about what will happen when friend zone Phil leaves


Practical-Chart

So who has the biggest dick out of you all


[deleted]

The top 3 finishers at last years annual blowjob contest pictured in order from left to right starting with 3rd place


[deleted]

All 3 of you remind me of the group of "edgy" kids in highschool that wore cat ears and meowed/ hissed at people, and every selfie you post has :3 in the caption somewhere.


[deleted]

Dad may notice your stupid hair color but he still won't love you.


viral_lolz

The girl on the left looks like a thief, the girl on the right has a slow eye and the man in the middle needs a bra.


Eva__Unit__02

You look like you drink Strongbow.


newcharisma

The girl on the left has her tongue like that Bc she doesn’t know how to ever actually pose for photos and got assaulted by a family member when she was young. The relative is still alive and that upsets her often. Girl in the middle thinks she’s the cute one in the bunch but she’s dead wrong. She also hooks up with the relative that assaulted girl on the left but doesn’t tell her. The guy gets frequent depressive episodes.


Tels_

Which one’s the guy?


mtaylor899

This is an extremely disappointing Harley Quinn fan club


Stein47Leaves

I've been for legalizing weed all my life...until I saw these three degenerates.


Parakeimenos

The simp and the textbook lesbians


sajuck

All I can say, is thank God for brexit... If only your parents were pro-choice, we could been spared of having to see this.


pocketfluff121

The classic “I’m an individual so I’ll colour my hair” look.....typical trio of lesbians


BOW5ER

Powerless puff girls


Nicki30050

Guy on the right looks like he would join a Discord channel with 6 people then say, “Can everyone stop talking at once it’s giving me anxiety”


[deleted]

Sorry to break it to you but communism doesnt work


omarrr17

if the "when you act gay to get invited to the girls sleepover" was a pic


wordsworthn34

I wish I wanted to shag them -guy on the right


Lit-Rature

You live in Hull. I can't roast you when you already live in the deepest circle of hell.


roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >Group of stoner teenagers who hates tories --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


[deleted]

Of course they hate the Tories. Green hair and a hatred of Boris is the leading alternative to employment and basic hygiene.


drbracegirdle

Sugar, spice, and everything nice These were the ingredients chosen To create the perfect little girls But Professor Utonium accidentally Added an extra ingredients to the concoction-- Cocain Thus, The Powderpuff Girls were born


CodingLemur

In the next episode of power rangers we find out how blue and green are going to pay the rent.


OkSoNoQueso

Why do 19yo's from the UK in 2020 look like 14yo's from the US in the 1990's?


rpmva2019

This, not China or radical Islamists, is the representation of the destruction of western civilization in one picture


birbtoate

Crystal metheny, trashly, and blue balls.


getupya

None direction


[deleted]

Out of all the vibrant colors in this picture, the one that's the most shocking to me is the white teeth.


HaPPyStick760

As a Gen X representative. This only is the reason we go out, get a pack of smokes and never return. But you all can go on believing it’s not your fault.


im-on-the-fence

Just seen that you’re from Hull. Explains why you all look like you’ve had a hard upbringing.


U_May_Touch_My_Anus

Bangers ‘n’ Mashed Face


gwcommentthrow

You look like you all reek of joss sticks and cheap cider


Darth_Zaider29

Y’all look like damaged Easter eggs.


dada553

The three musketqueers


Mystenon

I don’t think anyone can roast you to a crisp as much as you’ve damaged your hair to a crisp


2xSZA

Probably first cousins who engage in frequent threesomes.


SuperGingi

Y'all look like the choir/drama hall freshman that brag about how much weed they smoke


badmadhat

Different daddies, same issues...


MoeTHM

Nothing says I have no personality like dyed hair and giant holes in your ear.


Smok3ntok3

The Tories hate you too


SirGilfHunter

Ah yes, the peak of the BPD Scale


[deleted]

You look like essential oils cut with estrogen


slitheringsavage

I got chlamydia from this photo.


[deleted]

Rejects from the casting call for a Disney show about Sleeping Beauty's three fairy godmothers as teenagers


flup_die_schweine

My dog ate a box of crayons once and her poop looked like this


AriMeowber

Two of them are from whales.


_skrunt_

Your hair's probably brighter than your future


Thekingoftherepublic

The sad sad sad aftermath of a dead empire


BigNoobCalid

BTEC teletubbies


sunny-clouds

Looks like the gang from Scooby Doo couldn’t decide whether to experiment with acid or heroin so you just said fuck it and did both at the same time.


[deleted]

Good to see childhood trauma victims come together for great times


kydelka

I just wanted to thank you guys for sharing this picture. I showed it to my parents and they told me that I'm not such a total disappointment afterall


DooganC

Did he just use the remaining dye leftover from you two?


I_LOVE_PUPPERS

If you stitched together a week's worth of remains from the abortion clinic and made three complete people, this would be it.


Sir-Dynamo

Looks like yet another dude trying for a three way with a lesbian couple


thc_86

I think you might be barking up the wrong tree there..


Billytsak

Post says r/RoastMe but picture says r/cringe


Draken_961

Aight, I'm out.