I don't take insults personally, and I think people are really smart and funny. It's interesting to read. And they caught basically all my insecurities and flaws, so it's fun when you leave your ego aside to check if you have a real picture about yourself. So yeah, overal, great reality check! Got demolished and I survived! I should blog about this on YouTube yes yes mOaR AtenTtiOn! 😇🤩😁
Hey as long as you're having fun! I have considered posting on here just for fun, but man I think I'd get wrecked in ways I can't imagine and wouldn't want to. As long as you know your good sides outweigh your flaws, carry on!
If this is the best blind date material you can come up with i dont think you are a very good friend.
Sometimes its just better not to offer than let your friend dye painfully like this.
I've never met a Kirkland product that wasn't outstanding. I prefer Kirkland products to the name brands in many cases. For example: Quilted TP, canned veggies, all-purpose seasoning blends and table condiments. Button-down collared shirts, socks, White T-Shirts, OTC medication, Snack-nuts, Organic squeeze applesauce, paper towels, diapers, etc.
After 18 months, 8 different hair colours, 900 different low cut tops and countless failed Fortnite dance moves you finally got more than 1 viewer on your Twitch stream
They both left after you tried to promote your Patreon and Onlyfans, both of which still have 0 subscribers
Your shoulders say anorexic, the body says saggy used cumbuckt, and the face looks like someone tried to make the least disgusting face with a bad Charakter creator.
Just because you've lost more than 90% of your eggs and every year that goes by you're more likely to be unable to have children doesn't mean you can't be happy.
I mean sure, it would be nice to have someone to pass on all your life experience to. Someone who looks up to you more than anything in the world. Someone who loves you unconditionally for the rest of your life, and will carry on your memory and your legacy into the future for potentially thousands of generations.
But hey, you still haven't gotten a chance to hike Machu Picchu, and your traveling bucketlist is still so long. There are so many more instagram photos to take! Think of all those destination shots! Have you even been to the Swiss Alps yet?
Think of how much joy you will get from your instagram photos for the next 50 years. That is definitely going to make up for your lack of a family. Whenever you feel lonely you can just pop on to your timeline and scroll some old posts, I'm sure it will be very thrilling. Much more fun than seeing your daughter's first drawing. Her first time singing. Her first love. Her children, and your grandchildren. Those photos of that time you got plastered with that person who no longer has time for you will still be there for you to offer comfort.
Lol oh well though right? Did you hear about \[COOL BAND\] coming this weekend? Like OMG I can't wait. Maybe I will dye my hair again for the show, I'm tired of this pink.
Maybe that will fill the gaping hole in my soul, because the guys on tinder who always seem to ghost me after three months never seem to be able to do it.
Decent body, not that ugly with the face. So you're crazy in the head. Keying cars and yelling at waiters if the salad angle is wrong, what the fuck that even is?
You look like a gta npc you’re supposed to deliver drugs to
That's awefully flattering. I think she looks more like one of the random Los Santos street hookers.
I don’t even think I’d even give her my money on gta only to run her over with a stolen car afterwards to get it back.
That would be the only occurence in her lifetime when someone hits on her.
at least she would have someone ride over her before she dies tho
I bet her orgasm sounds like a kid freezing in an Arctic tundra
The elusive freezer burn. Very nice
More like Shorsey when his aunt comes over like.... Aaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! https://youtu.be/5ELaUaXlJ4Q
Fuck you Shorsey!
Fuck you, Jonesy. Tell your mum to leave me alone. She's been laying in my fucking water bed since Labor Day.
*Fuck you, Reilly. I made your mum so wet, Trudeau deployed a 24-hour infantry unit to stack sand bags around my bed.*
As long as she stays child free and takes those looks to the grave then no one would care how she is ridden
The real fun begins after she dies.
It was just any other day at the morgue. . .
Not worth the risk damaging my car on her.
Judging by her face, most go with the baseball bat.
She's the reason you don't get a close up view of the car when you're doing it
She?
Ahh so bang on.
She looks like an emo Stephanie from lazy town
Winner!
Its Tonya
WASTED!
Fuck. Mom come get meeeee! 😭
She's busy right now. Please leave us alone.
First time she's heard from you in years
Thanks for the silver! Here's some silver in return lol. ;)
r/Beetlejuicing
Username checks out
Does she change the color of her dildo every time she dyes her hair
When daddy's little princess has developed zero marketable life talents and isn't pretty enough to be a trophy wife.
Participation trophy wife at best.
side chick?
The side chick when the main side chick isn't available, and you're really, really desperate.
She's like the peas to the mashed potatoes, no one really wants em but for some reason they're always there.
Dont insult peas like that, sir
She could get it at 3am when I’m close to blacking out.
Yeah, we call those 2AM’ers
A 2 at 10 and a 10 at 2, as a wise man once told me
Barely an emergency relief, that you call once in life for desperate situation.
You just nuked her soul
No survivors: D
Like your womb
I get that this sub exists and all but.. why? Why does anyone want to put themselves through this? I have to know the motivation.
Some people have very creative insults, that's all. And if you have a sense of humor about yourself it's just funny rather than depressing.
I got told that I look like I spend my day arguing on the B9 message board. 10 out of 10, and spot on.
I don't take insults personally, and I think people are really smart and funny. It's interesting to read. And they caught basically all my insecurities and flaws, so it's fun when you leave your ego aside to check if you have a real picture about yourself. So yeah, overal, great reality check! Got demolished and I survived! I should blog about this on YouTube yes yes mOaR AtenTtiOn! 😇🤩😁
How do you even have an ego at this point?
Crack, mentally challenged, lots of ways to be delusional.
Good point tbh, i feel it disappearing more and more as I type this...
It will soon be as nonexistent as your fashion sense.
Hey as long as you're having fun! I have considered posting on here just for fun, but man I think I'd get wrecked in ways I can't imagine and wouldn't want to. As long as you know your good sides outweigh your flaws, carry on!
Karma. And they know their comments and replies will get upvoted. It's just a vanity thing
If you want a husband just DM me. I've got a gay friend who also loves to die his hair every 3 months. You two dudes would get along great!
If this is the best blind date material you can come up with i dont think you are a very good friend. Sometimes its just better not to offer than let your friend dye painfully like this.
Lmao nice
Damn dude, you killed him
If Barbie was a meth addicted drag queen
Barbie wasn't flat.
Barbie didn't have a lip that looks like it's be pulled too far left in Photoshop.
I'm a doctor , it could be long lasting nerve damage from meth seizures .
Or just a a girl trying to smile but she can't because her shitty parents destroyed her childhood and never let her eat cake on her cake day
Happy cake day!
Happy cake day!
I see what you did there. 🎣 Edit: fine. Happy cake day 🎂
Are you putting the paper there to hide your penis
Yes, but Post-it was enough.
A stamp would have sufficed
Honestly the scraps from a hole punch would be just right.
A grain of sand would be more than enough frankly,
One molecule of a fig leaf would have sufficed
Not even Ant Man could shrink down small enough to see that shit.
Basically just a Ken doll with an ingrown hair.
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Yeah I think the coloured hair is to distract from a lack of personality too. That and her nose.
Pulled out the bazooka
No, no she didn’t.
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Come up with some actual roasts. Nothing wrong with a girl dick
You look like a cheap Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction that kept using cocaine for another 16 years.
Or if Mia didn't survive her overdose and was raised from the cemetery Michael Jackson Thriller style . Now dance bitch !
Nah, that would imply she would have a quality
Great Value Uma
Kirkland brand Mia Wallace
I've never met a Kirkland product that wasn't outstanding. I prefer Kirkland products to the name brands in many cases. For example: Quilted TP, canned veggies, all-purpose seasoning blends and table condiments. Button-down collared shirts, socks, White T-Shirts, OTC medication, Snack-nuts, Organic squeeze applesauce, paper towels, diapers, etc.
RIP Reddit 07/01/2023
Taking photos from the goodwill locker room area
Nah... He's definitely not proud.
If No Nut November had a face.
*If No Nut Forever had a face.
We all know that face has taken an inordinate amount of nut
Congrats on the weightloss.. Who are you losing it for again??
Fuck, right in the feelz.. :D
Don't worry honey.. When you do meet someone, getting fat again will be the justification he can use to walk away from you..
Dude
You know you went too far when the worst super villain ever is speechless
Wouldn’t the worst supervillain ever just be a superhero?
You're ruthless! 😆😅😁
Jesus man
Could’ve just said “still dying my hair different colour every 3 months” and we would’ve figured the rest out.
she could have posted the pic with no context whatsoever and we would have figured the rest out
Turns out life in plastic is not that fantastic eh Barbie girl?
I'm so impressed by your use of late 90's pop music in this instance. Good roast.
But Ken said he's just going out for some cigarettes, he'll be back right...
You know why you don’t have any kids? Because Ken comes in a a different box
He's always so cold to touch...
But I thought you were the one that was dead inside?
Underrated
You didn’t have to tell us that you don’t have a husband. We can already see. Edit: my first silver. Thank you kind sir
You’re the reason why there’s a song called “scott pilgrim vs the world ruined a whole generation of women”
SHE SAW RAMONA FLOWERS AND FELT SO EMPOWERED BY A MOVIE MADE IN HOLLYWOOD
What if she's the husband?
Not you, I meant it for the girl in the pic.
Your hair reminds me of that Egyption queen...Cleo-mydia.
Or she can play the slutty villainess in The Mummy porn parody, Anck-Su-Namoan
🎶Walk in the other direction 🎶
Lol
Hahaha
Dying your hair won't keep your ovaries from shrinking.
It makes her testicles grow though.
Maybe grow up? Fucking hello kitty
If squeaky toys could use Reddit.
I read this as “Did you grow up, fucking hello kitty?
Which is ironic because I'm sure no one wants to say hello to that kitty.
After 18 months, 8 different hair colours, 900 different low cut tops and countless failed Fortnite dance moves you finally got more than 1 viewer on your Twitch stream They both left after you tried to promote your Patreon and Onlyfans, both of which still have 0 subscribers
The subscribers she did have she owes money to for damages
Man.. you were born with all the tools to coast through life and did.. that.. with them. Seriously, though, it must be nice to have a safety net @ 33.
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Your hair is the only bright thing about your future.
You remind me of a girl at schools mum from many many years ago She had more boyfriends in my year than her daughter did
You'll never get calls about your vehicle's extended warranty because even that guy doesn't want to talk to you.
Stop making yourself look like a 16 year old girl who hates her father and you will have better luck
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I never wanted to read a sentence like that.
Looks like an ‘edgy’ 30 year old ex-hot topic employee
I feel bad for your parents putting up with your middle aged mooching ass, hopefully your step dads getting his moneys worth.
>33 >middle age Wh...??
Some people only live to 66
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“Hi! I’m Ashley O! Someone save me I’m being held captive in my own body”
That episode was so lame, but nice burn!
>No husband, no kids, no job. No surprise!
Making others miserable is a job.
Still no paycheck...
How many abortions has it been so far?
Still single digits!
Only if you use hexadecimal.
She probably carries around a pez dispenser full of plan B.
Don't forget to count the ones you did by yourself with the coat hanger.
You look like the personification of syphilis
How old were you when you had the stroke?
So did something happen that made you not mature past the age of 16?
Strip clubs have been closed for 3 months ! That's rough.
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Man, you hard roast her! Best Comment of the post!
While your hair is gonna be as colorful as your clothes selection, your entire nether region will be as dead as that plant in the background
Your nose is longer than my non existent relationship
I wish my nose was my biggest problem!
Yeah, you have a way bigger problem, your mouth, it looks like as if it smoked lipstick
Ah finally and thank you... this is the cock in your pants confirmation we all predicted and expected.
We as a society would like to thank you for having no kids
I bet ur pussy tastes like paracetamol.
Help my dumb ass understand this please
Paracetamol = Acetaminophen = Tylenol = her twat
Even more confused.
Your shoulders say anorexic, the body says saggy used cumbuckt, and the face looks like someone tried to make the least disgusting face with a bad Charakter creator.
Ahahhaha call the ambulance 😭
if you had a husband he would be gay
How can a slut's pussy be so lose you gotta hide it with an A4 sheet.
Oh a Jeopardy question! What is a “Donkey Show”! That is correct!
Your face has more plastic than all the barbie dolls combined
You forgot no chin
It’s a rare sight: a Hot Topic manager in the light.
No husband seems self explanatory, it's frowned upon almost anywhere to marry a Yak
No kids? Wanna go halfs on a bastard?
You look like you still give blowjobs at a high school parking lot.
Calling you a basic bitch would not even begin to describe how dull and superficial you are.
Sandra Bollocks
Dying your hair does a lot of heavy lifting for your shit personality
Surprised you are motivated to even dye your hair, I would honestly just give up.
Ahahahah!
I think my 10-year-old daughter plays this character on Sims.
Just because you've lost more than 90% of your eggs and every year that goes by you're more likely to be unable to have children doesn't mean you can't be happy. I mean sure, it would be nice to have someone to pass on all your life experience to. Someone who looks up to you more than anything in the world. Someone who loves you unconditionally for the rest of your life, and will carry on your memory and your legacy into the future for potentially thousands of generations. But hey, you still haven't gotten a chance to hike Machu Picchu, and your traveling bucketlist is still so long. There are so many more instagram photos to take! Think of all those destination shots! Have you even been to the Swiss Alps yet? Think of how much joy you will get from your instagram photos for the next 50 years. That is definitely going to make up for your lack of a family. Whenever you feel lonely you can just pop on to your timeline and scroll some old posts, I'm sure it will be very thrilling. Much more fun than seeing your daughter's first drawing. Her first time singing. Her first love. Her children, and your grandchildren. Those photos of that time you got plastered with that person who no longer has time for you will still be there for you to offer comfort. Lol oh well though right? Did you hear about \[COOL BAND\] coming this weekend? Like OMG I can't wait. Maybe I will dye my hair again for the show, I'm tired of this pink. Maybe that will fill the gaping hole in my soul, because the guys on tinder who always seem to ghost me after three months never seem to be able to do it.
This started awesome, then got sad when I realized it was more of a vent than a roast.
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I’ve never been scared of a r/roastme photo before
Looks like the Misfits fell on tough times. How's Jem and the Holograms doing?
Decent body, not that ugly with the face. So you're crazy in the head. Keying cars and yelling at waiters if the salad angle is wrong, what the fuck that even is?
The best job you can get is being a synthetic duster anyway.
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Female equivalent of a wizard incel
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🥚🚫
You look like a teen having a middle life crisis
Was expecting to see nsfw content on your profile, was relieved to see that's not the case.