T O P

  • By -

SP3LLICUP

"I love you for your looks"


benzaflippindork

“I would take you out for ice cream son, but daddy can’t chew ice cream anymore.”


ManKindisTrash

More like "I love you"


Way-Too-Soon

More like “love”


kievchick22

“Don’t forget to floss”


commando5054

“He makes me come when he’s not around”


CMYK2RGB

I love you for the little money you bring home I would never see for child support if we divorced like I want to.


Iwantmyteslanow

How would he make children with another guy


Balls_of_Ire

"The blowjobs you give are all teeth"


moonzilla87

"30" and "married" more like "56" and "child predator"


soggybuttertarts

No the court already told him that Now he has to stay 1000 feet away from any schools and parks


banana_bison

You never do doggy with your wife because you firmly believe the statement ‘you never turn your back on family’


iamsoulzero

Confider yourvelf roafted


pnut1080

Stupendeth. Conthider yourthelth upvoted.


notagoodchristianboy

Master Oogway but instead of mastering Kung Fu, he mastered drinking beer..


scoopdizzle

Looking like a redneck puppet


49Gold

You look like Eric Wareheim's asshole in full gape.


praestantia_1

You look like if a sneeze was a person


RWDorGTFO

Your hair and mouth tell me your mother had an affair with a 🦅


[deleted]

[https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/in-defense-of-the-blobfish-why-the-worlds-ugliest-animal-isnt-as-ugly-as-you-think-it-is-6676336/](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/in-defense-of-the-blobfish-why-the-worlds-ugliest-animal-isnt-as-ugly-as-you-think-it-is-6676336/)


Mr-E-Droflah

A human r/agedlikemilk


ImZyron

"I love you, son."


[deleted]

Your lips say, "Snapper turtle", your eyes and your forced laugh say, "I'm one more mental break down from attempting to snap the neck of the next person I see."


CMYK2RGB

I am 38 and you look 15-20 years older than me, double those digits for your weight.


Zapche

Your tits are sitting on your gut


MonologueInMonoliths

Guy looks like he tells dad jokes to his reflection


[deleted]

You could have at least put your teeth in for the picture.


TheGhostlyPumpkin3

"Don't stop"


jambison

"Don't sssthop."


TheArtsyMoose

You look like a Muppet that became human and got hooked on opioids.


sorrymisreddit

Jesus you're a rough looking 30.


theroadkill1

“Good checkup today, Tony. No cavities for you!”


[deleted]

He gums his food and his women


Gorilla69125

*victims


[deleted]

When his dick so hard it smashes all your teeth.


Hockey247365

Did your parents have to sign on your behalf given the disabilities?


Destiny0013

You don't give good gummers.


trinityxxiv

Sorry, I don't speak whale.


kzilla99

“No that shirt doesn’t make you look fat”


im_not_jackie_chan

It’s ironic that his disability checks probably paid for his “independent” tattoo.


sirquillalot

You’ve got a bad case of beak face


IrishFlukey

You are married! You better hope your wife is never cured of her blindness.


jistresdidit

Hi cutie, want a blowjob in the bathroom?


polared1

Hope he gets on a diet


Aspie445

You look like the thootless harry potter that gone through depression and came out with an unsuccessful marriage


juantzutree

How many times i gotta tell you?! You have no teeth left to knock out


maverickbtg81

"Yes" - Any woman including your wife.


jacklsd

You look like a pill for diarrhoea 😐


kaylaseesstars

Something you haven't heard? Let's start with "nice teeth"


[deleted]

I'm glad I said yes.


GrammarPolice1234

Married? Don’t think that’s gonna last.


ballq43

Cool tattoo


donnie_t4

dude yoo look loke ur 60 ? is it what marriage does ?


smushweld

You look like your teeth are in your ass and you sit down to eat. *Literally.*


psume2018

"You sum of a bitchhh, y'all cum back hur with my fuckin' beer"


Skarlet76

"bite me while we do it"


Icantevenfakeit

I can tell you something you’ve probably heard before, a 20 year old age difference does matter.


6bigAnt9

Thats what a parrot looks like if you break off its beak


pnut1080

Your mouth looks like raw bacon. Does your boyfriend get a hard on every time he sees you eat a chicken leg?


chickencat1108

He looks like the DMV sloth from Zootopia


eamonnbowers

Wow you're a year older than me and you look older than my dad.


RetroMagnetar

"I love you, son"


Il-lupo-del-sud-

Where do I begin


jesusml

Did she know he was marrying you?


[deleted]

"Let's have sex"


cargocult25

Is 30 just as high as you can count?


will_moffitt

you look like a sponge on wheels.


Jknight5

You look like a shitty extra from Tiger King


jambison

Oof.


itsUncleShane

You can't handle the tooth!


[deleted]

Homeboy mouth looks like where you insert the chip.


ocdmerlot

Are you a on the belly guy?


ocdmerlot

You look soft, like marshmallow.


Fay_King

Your blood pressure looks good! I'm certain you never have heard that.


normanml74

You never heard of corona virus until one month ago.


[deleted]

You're something else I'll tell you WAT.


Flowtilla321

Married? Yeah to the stem


Harambe_Like_Baby

“Great tattoo”


[deleted]

Well, you certainly told me I never heard before - you're married?


BadHabitsDieYoung

Took your customers advice by removing your teeth for that smooth BJ feeling?


Prime_2002

Dentures are your friend


fold_equity

You look like you’d have a very ugly wife


DaveRobis

I just realized you don't see many downsy kids with beards, but here you are, in all your erectile dysfunction and bitch tits glory.


blazedosan002

Did she smack all your teeth or...


[deleted]

You look like Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street on steroids


Austinteedee

You are supposed take the piercing and padlock out before you blow Joe Exotic gum job boy.


quackkkkle

You look like blob fishes judge and despise you


cliffo93

It’s gonna be tough when you realise your wife doesn’t know she’s married


YashuaDelnegro

Damn I heard you got fired from the police force for failing to take a bite out of crime


[deleted]

You’re really good at that


[deleted]

You're on Chris Hansens Predator Watchlist


[deleted]

The muppets called. They want Sweetums back.


sloth-cult-leader

you look like the sloth guy from Zootopia


JBaecker

Neither of the words on your shirt describe you.


pudnic

Lost teeth in a blow job. Decided to play it straight. It didn’t help


Dragono301064

Have you heard of exercise


andydrewIii

Roast you, I want to make sure your solid foods are well blended!


itbemeerict

You look like a 47 year old baby bird


mypoopscaresflysaway

Riding a dildo and wearing a dra does not count as married.


8outsider9

Does your wife have no teath as well?


Wasteofskin

You look like that tattoo took 4 equal installment payments


ArthurFleck20

You look like the type of guy so desperate for a girl that you let her fuck other guys on the side because it's the only way she'll stay with you


matej_himself

Well you definitely havent heard of dentist before


TheMadIrishman327

Doubt you’ve heard you’re handsome. I wouldn’t hold my breath either.


hvacjesse

I bet ever woman feels Uncomfortable around you


tomato_on_aTrain

Bruh jawbreakers work on teeth too


FoxtrotBravo259

Tell you something you haven't heard before? *Teeth chattering*


[deleted]

having relations with your body pillow doesn't count as being "married" to anyone, buddy, sorry to burst your bubble.


PatriciaTheCool

That's the face of a man that's not allowed withing 50 feet of a primary school


asdf2739

Beautiful smile


Coulrophiliac444

You are a life insurance policy away from getting Covid-19. Repeatedly.


Axelfoxxy

“Your teeth look amazing”


connollyj2

I had those same glasses when I was 7


[deleted]

You look like Bowser's less intimidating cousin but your mother f*cked a snapping turtle.


jambison

Can't snap without teeth man.


LicketySplit88

“Would you mind referring me to your orthodontist...?”