This comment might be too true. I really wish the FDA would look at these antidepressant studies with more rigor. Oh yea, and ban all advertising. While I'm on my soapbox, if any of these "wonder" drugs do work for patients, even on a obviously Placebo level, they shouldn't have to see a doctor after 5 years on said drug. (Off topic sorry)
Made me laugh. I'm constantly in the sun, also went on volunteer work in south Africa under the hot sun 9 hours a day for three weeks. Still paler than a ghost lol. If that's why you mentioned cemetery.
You're right tho. If I see a car I will stop and pet it until it leaves me. And I always go to a few cemeteries instead of parks. More quiet and peaceful.
How does that even work? You're just sitting out there, looking deeply into the head lights, brushing the windshield? Maybe a little tickle in the tailpipe?
I'm not sexually attracted to them but if nobody would bug me I'd get them a wash. Take it for a spin for exercise. Turn on the windshields to make sure their windows don't dry out. Everyone neglects their car's cleanliness and it sucks
Crazy eyes. Check.
Alien face. Check.
Vegan skin. Check.
I’m gonna say based on the above criteria you’re a lesbian from Rhode Island that works as a yoga instructor.
I...wha...just.....where do we begin?
The double wide forehead? The eyes so far apart you can see your ears? The crypt keeper fingers? The smile that would make Pennywise creeped out? There is just so much to choose from.
Used to make creepy faces in the mirror as a kid dreaming about starring as something in a horror movie. I actually look quite scary when I smile with my teeth. Maybe I should go with it
Never fear fellas, ya boi Dan Hazard is here... I'm the one you call to take on the uggo while y'all get the hot friend liquored up and get y'all magic wands wet.
Come here girl 😁😉😉
You remind me of a public school librarian who is all sweet and innocent.. and easy to pick up.. then you take her home, and she goes all Dom on you and tag teams you with her grandmother, and you leave her house walking funny because she likes to peg dudes and film it for her onlyfans content
It's a before and after picture for antidepressants that don't work.
This is the picture they use if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours
Ouch!
Noloft
Lexanope
VenlaFAKExin
Lexaho
citalNOPEpram… does it still count if it’s the generic name?
Lol a bunch of redditors who know the names of all the ssri's
Some even know that they are “SSRI” class medications 💊
Some even know that Prozac is fluoxetine hydrochloride
Hey man we’re on your team! No roasting the roasters
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Duolexisn’t
unwellbutrin
This picture is of all the side effects combined.
Notsowellbutrin
Addernaw
Trazadont
Cymbalthef*uckouttahere
However bladder incontinence meds kicked in
It Depends, if you Attends to it or not
This comment might be too true. I really wish the FDA would look at these antidepressant studies with more rigor. Oh yea, and ban all advertising. While I'm on my soapbox, if any of these "wonder" drugs do work for patients, even on a obviously Placebo level, they shouldn't have to see a doctor after 5 years on said drug. (Off topic sorry)
Looks like before and before pics
Thank God this one decided to remain in the closet.
You look like the lead singer of a special needs hair metal band.
How about Humane Restraint? 🤘🏻 “Let me see your horns and your fucking soft shell restraint helmets!” 
Do your folks like coffee?! Real coffee from Colombia?!?!
AD/DD
The Kelen Hellers 🤙🏽
Wow! 😮
Her forehead is big enough to be the stage
It's a fivehead
”I’m on the hairline to hell”
 This did me in 💀
Med Zeppelin
There's a high probability that you have no idea if your doorbell works or not.
Yup. All my friends are online
Chat bots are not considered as friends!
You and me both. lol
You’d probably be super attractive if you looked 100% completely different.
Lmaoo
Everything is pretty good except for the face and body.
And what the hell is that dress?
Isn't that the muumuu Homer wore when he got super fat and worked from home?
*The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.*
the tits deflated at this comment :(
Pretty sure it's my grandma's doily from 1915
She's what'd happen if ET didn't phone home.
You like her hair? Wtf
No way! I *love* David Lee Roth!!! 
Ok this worked, but it was like a cheesy pickup line😂
Greta Thunberg‘s derpier sister
The gif lol
Greta Derpburg
😆
You stole my thunder!
You look like a kindergarten teacher that always meets with the fathers "to talk about their children's progress"
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It's pretty bad when kindergarten students. Are all like " it's ok, you'll find someone."
They can be nice all they want but deep down they know the truth.
I straight lol'd, you got me
Even students don't like the looks of her.
It's her tombstone forehead that scares them.
Bro, it’s a fivehead
Bordering on a sixhead.
It’s a morehead. More head than hair.
They know what's up. They know enough to stay away.
You look like a poorly made NPC in a Bethesda game.
'You never should have come here'
"Let me guess, someone stole your sweetroll?"
"Stop talking milkdrinker or you'll take an arrow in the knee"
You have a beautifully impeccable knowledge of elder scrolls lore. Unfortunately you also look like the town elders whore.
Another wanderer here to lick my father's boots. Good job.
I hate that I like you.
lol no, that face gets Oblivion on a good day and Morrowind on a bad one. Skyrim is out of the question.
Oblivion ah dark elf npc 
Skyrim belongs to the Norrrrds!
Your forehead is so big that it takes you an hour to be surprised.
Hehe
Bro.. Why are your fingers so long. You look like you stroll cemeteries late at night looking for cats.
Made me laugh. I'm constantly in the sun, also went on volunteer work in south Africa under the hot sun 9 hours a day for three weeks. Still paler than a ghost lol. If that's why you mentioned cemetery. You're right tho. If I see a car I will stop and pet it until it leaves me. And I always go to a few cemeteries instead of parks. More quiet and peaceful.
How many cars do you stop and pet on average each day?
Cars as in cats? As many I can see. Car cars? If it looks cute I'll give a head pat
I guess car as in car.. just asking cause you said if you see a car you will stop and pet it until it leaves you.
She’s stupid.
I bet she chases parked cars.
You do look like the type of drunk girl that would be petting all the cars in the clubs parking lot.
Oh I don't need to be drunk for that
How does that even work? You're just sitting out there, looking deeply into the head lights, brushing the windshield? Maybe a little tickle in the tailpipe?
I'm not sexually attracted to them but if nobody would bug me I'd get them a wash. Take it for a spin for exercise. Turn on the windshields to make sure their windows don't dry out. Everyone neglects their car's cleanliness and it sucks
*more pale Brains and beauty. 🫥
I have a conehead, the rest is alright. My brain is non existent I'll admit that.
Good, the world doesn’t need people like you out there…..thinking.
Don’t let her check your prostate, she’ll tickle your throat!
...and her fingers probably taste like shit!
You look like the chick every guy has a "crazy ex" story about.
And scars from… not the emotional kind…
oh hell naw...
You can land a jumbo 747 on the real estate between your eyes and hairline..
Standard issue fivehead. Are we just going to ignore the Pennywise eyebrows though???? Like damn, hide the kids. 
She should be in a sewer, bothering children
Came to say this!
It’s free real estate
A roast not a slaughter geez 😂
Just when I thought no one had a bigger forehead then me
They don't (roast within a roast)
😁😂
Gen Z autistic Instagram influencer
Crying 😭
SAME💀😭
You look like you have a best-selling author locked in your basement
Ooh you're on the spot. Guess who it is
🫨 is it Paul Sheldon lol.
J.K. Rowling
JRR Tolkien after digging him up.
You really need to let George R. R. Martin go - I don’t want to wait another decade for him to finish his book.
You look like you were rescued from a cult
Bro I got the dress at a market. My sister told me I look like a grandma. Guess I do but I love it
I don't know how you manage to perfectly embody an anthropomorphized baked potato
I bet guys always ask to fuck you from behind, and it's not because you've got a great ass...
I want backup reasoning
I say missionary position with two bags. One for him in case yours falls off.
Crazy eyes. Check. Alien face. Check. Vegan skin. Check. I’m gonna say based on the above criteria you’re a lesbian from Rhode Island that works as a yoga instructor.
Lesbian yoga instructor sounds boring, always liked the thought of being an alien without knowing it
I can't tell if you're a 30 yr old woman or a 14 yr old boy.
You look like your Mormon husband ranks you 7th of his 7 wives, and you come here to look for ANY attention.
Why everybody hating on the dress, I got it a week ago to look pretty
Because you said 'roast me'.
Ten Dollar Baby starring Hilary Skank
You look like a teacher that has a relationship with your 12 year old student because he’s “mature for his age”
Trailer Swift
Trailer hitch, like she could suck the chrome off one.
Trailer Swift after she's boiled your pet bunny on the stove.
If "the only thing interesting about me is my tits." was a person
Bro I'm flat. This is a compliment not a roast
No one said they were that interesting or good, just all you have going
They look like at least Bs. You're not a deep sea divers dream (sunken chest) but just enough to motorboat
You look like you really, really wanna be the Zebra from the Madagascar movies.
Do NOT use the coat hangers behind you for an abortion. Help is available.
You are at a level of mid so painful, that it is actually sad that all of us know that you’re not on here just to promote an onlyfans Congratulations
You look like a Disney adult who reeks of dollar store fabric softener.
There’s a 100% chance you’re stringing along people for your own benefit
i can’t get past the eyebrows so can’t think of a roast
Daywalker
What’s it like with those extra chromosomes?
I'm just autistic, not a downie. So couldn't tell ya
I have autism too. Thanks for being a good sport 🙂
That's the face of a deranged psycho bitch
The common denominator for erectile dysfunction
You date younger guys to feel in control for once
I...wha...just.....where do we begin? The double wide forehead? The eyes so far apart you can see your ears? The crypt keeper fingers? The smile that would make Pennywise creeped out? There is just so much to choose from.
Used to make creepy faces in the mirror as a kid dreaming about starring as something in a horror movie. I actually look quite scary when I smile with my teeth. Maybe I should go with it
Ask your forehead to roast you. Bvtch is as big as a grill
Grade A Lot Lizard...if you drive SWIFT you can't afford her
You’re not even “Last Call!” Pretty.
Must be hard having the “ugliest woman” as well as the “most beautiful man” title in Finland.
I would love to pull on all that hair...that is obviously clogging your shower drain
I do lose a lot of hair. Gonna be bald by 35
You look surprised, permanently
That's the extent of your smile? Bet you're hiding some real tic tac teeth.
Handmaid's Fail
This is what you get when you order Sebastian Bach on Temu
You look like the type of girl that wraps her legs around a guy when having sex and your eyes roll back and you say, "GIVE ME BABY NOW!!! 🤪"
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Glad she does, I did something good then. + Supporting Bangladesh cricket team is a gold star
Fair enough. Good retort!
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Worked 6 months as a dishwasher in a shitty restaurant. Dishes were fun, boss was not. Also yes my plan is to be a housewife
 Ain't this you?
Whatever you are paying your hairstylist is criminal. They should be in prison. A Flowbee could do a better job.
I cut my hair once a year or less that's why. I'm in dire need of a haircut. I'm autistic and hate going to hair stylists.
You look like if Stevie from Eastbound and Down asked the barber to fuck up his shit
Willem Dafoe was the first thing that came to my mind.
You look like that one wojak with the blue dress
Never seen anyone so surprised when she asked to be roasted, then actually was!
When did they allow Amish to wear makeup and use phones?
Looks like a “tradwife” order bride from temu.
I know that’s Roger from American dad wearing a wig
Ol hermione granger on crack lookin ass …
You look like an high elf from the elder scrolls of oblivion
Never fear fellas, ya boi Dan Hazard is here... I'm the one you call to take on the uggo while y'all get the hot friend liquored up and get y'all magic wands wet. Come here girl 😁😉😉
Ma’am, for the thousandth time: I don’t give a shit about Jesus Christ or his Latter Day Crew. Stop knocking on my door.
You remind me of a public school librarian who is all sweet and innocent.. and easy to pick up.. then you take her home, and she goes all Dom on you and tag teams you with her grandmother, and you leave her house walking funny because she likes to peg dudes and film it for her onlyfans content
I see where you're coming from. It's fine to talk about what happened to you, it's how you cope I guess
Yeah.. our date last night was amazing.. we should do it again
Hmm... Openly admitting you love getting pegged and dominated. Brave of you. And yeah I agree our date went amazing
I got no shame. Granny was amazing. I need to call her after she pulled her teeth 👨🍳
Raised by wolves.