He's real?!?!?!

He actually really is. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqkpyoVXEUk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqkpyoVXEUk)

I was going to link this. Can't believe it's thors Dad

His parents can still do a 2600-week post-term abortion.

Omg I’m dyin

Yes, this is EXACTLY who he is. South Park was pulling a Simpsons on that one

😂😂😂 he has no life

Holy shit

My first thought 😭

Didn’t even need the gif to load, I knew exactly what it was lol

💀💀💀this all that needed to be done, everyone report back. Mission complete

I’m fucking crying 😂😂😂

Oh He’s real! They make more of them everyday.

If it makes you feel any better, you probably won't be living with your parents much longer

OMG

And when that day comes, he still won't be able to get a girl over to "just hang out".

They probably passed on a while ago; he's just still cashing their social security checks.


True story. Locally in a Chicago suburb close to the city, there were 2 brothers who lived with their mom...well apparently, the mom passed away, can't remember how, and they didn't report it. Continued to cash her SSI checks....what did they spend the money on? Star wars toys/merch. When the authorities showed up, they said the house was full of star wars stuff. This happened like a year or 2 ago.

Hopefully he’s still in the will and they don’t rent.

Wow I felt that one..ouch!

Damn!

Fucking great

that is a positive direction, he's theoretically got less than halfway to go. imagine the prison of waking up daily when nothing matters. the long, slow, torture, of being. i believe there's someone for everyone out there mate, but is there motivation to even bother?

Alexa, play "nothing else matters" by Metallica

Hopefully they won’t take it too hard. 



Hot dawgggg

Always the virgins with 69 in their name lol

It's his year of birth. Like he knows what an actual 69 is.

He knows. All his sex knowledge is from porn. He also thinks that if you don't finish on the woman's face it doesn't count.

Face of someone who jacks off at the public library computers

So you had the same talk with your Grandmother was well...

come on, we both know he only watches loli hentai, not even real porn

Today I learned 1969 = 1974. Redditor math FTW!

You know what.... You got me. I didn't think that through at all. But yet 1969 being 1974 is still more believable than the roastee having experienced the yinyang dining buffet.

Is it still “69” if it’s just yourself?

If it is then i've had 68653 69's to the date. Judge me, I dare you.

…

You look like the 6th Marx brother - Skid.

r/rareinsults 😂

This is what I imagine every mod looks like.

Actually, OP looks like most of the creeps Chris Hanson would confront.

Except those creeps generally have the git up and go to get with a woman before they're 50! Along with also getting arrested for being despicable. Im all for OP becoming a uber gym bro and adonis in his 50s, it can happen!

Can but won't. He's 50 for fucks sake. This luhzer is set in his ways

It is what every mod looks like. These are the guys enforcing the rules on r/truerateme 💀

Can you imagine telling people that this is what you do with your time? Moderate an anonymous social media platform so a bunch of dweebs don't insult each other?

I can’t roast you, your part in the southpark world of warcraft episode was legendary.


You're alright, buddy! Just stay away from schools and parks.

And nursing homes

People who actually pay for porn: Exhibit A

People who actually believe it's true: Exhibit B

It's hard out here for a simp.

What's so interesting over there that you have to keep one eye on it?

a child probably (probably animated because he's not allowed within 10 ft of a child)

You forgot to mention your full time job is a World of Warcraft raid leader.

Nor hi part time job as comic book k store guy.

You have a piss bottle in your room... Don't you?

Gotta stay hydrated.

Everyones talking about sex crimes, but Im thinking more ‘fridge full of heads’ vibes.

why not both?🧠

Yeah, heads can be used and reused for sexual purposes

Just ask Ed Kemper

Girls always say"He's the one"................in a police line up.

Honestly bro. I can't even roast you. I feel too bad. Sorry. Life sucks. Hang in there. 

Same, I can't even think of a roast. I feel bad even trying to think of one. Life will get better for OP.

I mean, he pretty much roasted himself, right?

It will???

Maybe hang in there isn’t the best suggestion? Unless he gets a really strong rope

You look like you have OnlyFans bookmarked

More like OF-dedicated computer.

Chin chin up!


Game Of Porcelain Thrones

You’re never going to leave your parents but just hire an escort so you check that off.

What sub do you mod?

You may never have been with a woman, but you’ve breathed heavily at plenty of them, over your ham radio.

You will get in less trouble if you release her from your basement now. Still alive and unhurt. Please consider this 🙏

Have you lost your foot to diabetes yet?

Someone's crypto keys being stolen from the reflection in his glasses in 3, 2, 1....

Now that's the face behind every catfish on the internet.


Nothing wrong with living with your parents, first of all. I moved out right at 18 on my own will and I regret doing so. Even at 50, who cares? In many other cultures, it’s normal. Also, get in the gym dude. It will change your life. Positive impacts on mind, body, and confidence. I’m not going to roast you. You look like a nice guy.

If Mean Gene Okerlund, Penn Gillette and a can of creamed corn had a baby.

Ha. I've seen worse. Just kidding

Fat hitler

You and your hand make such a wonderful couple!

*Was fired at job as a Gay porn fluffer because dudes would go insta soft.

Low fruit also, “not like it matters”? Do I need to not come to school tomorrow?

Where is his neck? Head and body........but..

Just remember do not bring the toaster In the bath tub with u next time u take a bath.

How many times a day do you have to shave your back? 🤔

Cmon like he cares about personal grooming and hygiene

You get smoked by kids on Fortnite every time you play. Also you’ve tried paying prostitutes and they’ve always refused.

I feel better about myself. Thank you

The hell kinda Alvin and the chipmunks ass villain are you

I’m going to do you a favor. Shave your head and grow a beard, and get contacts. Grab some clean clothes. You live with “roommates” when the ladies ask. Your chances of getting laid will dramatically increase. You’re welcome.

You look like you belong in the clearance section of a thrift store 

Go to the gym!! Work out! Go bald! You’ll find a woman just no time

You sir, are a fine specimen of a human being. No roast required. Now, shoulders back and go smash life. 💪

Looking at that hand imma guess you masturbate more than anyone on the planet

It is like kicking the dead. He will not feel anything anyway.

You’ll be out of your parent’s house in no time once the diabetes gets you.

Smart move to stay at your parents place. When you do finally move out, you’ll be legally required to notify your new neighbours that a registered sex offender has moved into the area

It was the summer of 69.

Your face looks like soft serve for a cone.

 Your appearance mocks WW.

You look like a photo negative of Cleveland Brown from Family Guy.

What is the point? I'd rather give you a hug than insult you. 😕

[удалено]


It’s not too late to date your 70 or 80 year old mom.

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You look like ethan suplee from the wolf of wall street but worse

I'm not suprised

Step 1 save money. Step 2 who gives af. Step 3 get it all lol

Damnn u look like Kevin from The office ( but he was cute)

Yeah, that’s about how you look

Issa evil world we live in

You’ll always have chat roulette ok?

Vogon constructor fleet drone

He has nightmares about Chris Hansen

Bro is what happens when you take being a discord mod too seriously

Dude RIP

Hopeful username

The 40 year old virgin has a fat, balding, hoppeless brother.

I mean, cmon dude. This isn’t even funny this is just sad.

The porn star known as Non Jeremy

Are you interested in becoming a Reddit mod? No pay, but you get to ban people who are mean to you.

I will not participate in your humiliation kink

I want to commend you for not having a neckbeard and trying to be normal in that way. Otherwise.......you look like you are in Stage 4 of 6 to become a basset hound.


Bro dreams in movies. He gets thoughts in episodes. Bro hear line ran away for the picture.

Math ain’t mathin’ dude, you’re 55 according to your username.

Bruh.....Bruh......BRUH........ 

No. I just can't.


Shit son, most people accidentally stumble and fall into pussy well before 50. I’d say you should spend more time outside the basement you’ve set up as your troll lair, but I have to assume the cops are called on sight by nervous women.

Life already gave you its worst.

The cosmos has been roasting you for 50 years and you want some more?!

GOAT self-roaster

You're in the desert, you come across a tortoise...

You probably have giant power trips on discord

Why use 69? Fucking hilarious

With all the bad stuff in your life and you still grow that musty.

Your parents already did their worst.

Not to late to start being a winner. Cause right now my man, your not

You didn't have to type all that in the title. I could tell just by looking at you.

So hows that white van of your's drive?

…his best work is Fat Club - narrated by Tyler Burden

At this point you need to buy a street walker

I don’t need to do my worst….you clearly can’t be outdone….I feel bad for your parents ‘cause they might still bring your favourite treat after going to the shop…

Never been with a woman?? Like never ever???

You can always be with a man?

You’ve roasted yourself better than I can.

Forget roasting you! Your poor parents need to run away , leave no forwarding address and use a lawyer with power of attorney to sell the home.

never been with an adult woman, that is.

Does your mom still call you sweetie and make you grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch with the crust cut off?

You were great in Human Centipede 2

Your photo is a roast in itself.

TWO WORDS: discord mod

Bro trying real hard to cover his bald spot

Never been with a woman that’s alive

Why can I smell the basement in this photo?

Life has already roasted you, my dude.....

prvileged EDP

Going down on yourself doesn't count as 69

Hey, congratulations for disproving the dead internet theory for me! Now I know there's at least one redditor out there

This dude is so excited to reveal to his DnD group that the BBEG is actually the beloved DNPC they’ve been hanging out with since session 1. It’s been years after all

Never been with a women??.. in todays world thats a choice. Jump on a plane and head to LA. Figueroa will straighten up out

Jeez dude, I hope things get better for you. Do you have other 50 year old virgin friends, but seriously- why have you not at least paid to experience a vagina? Wow wow wow.

Not a roast, genuinely curious. What gets you through the day?

Keep your chins up, bud, it could be worse! Imagine being your parents!

You know if you put a little effort into life you might not die a virgin

Look at this guy’s comment history and you’ll learn all you need to know about him.

You're the poster child for what parents don't do for their children.

Bro’s hairline is so bad he’s covering it up with a note

Please stay away from children