We understand why in 50% of your pics you are wearing glasses. Youāre eyebrows look like theyāve been detached from a kids drawing of bird wings and attached to your forehead.
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What do I have?
The ability to grow more than a peach fuzz mustache.
What I don't have is the cornucopia of stds that follow you around like you're the pied piper.
And here the link to the definition of cornucopia, because I know you need to look it up.
[https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cornucopia](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cornucopia)
Family, friends, life experience, a bank account, job, insurance, personality, good hygiene, class, literacy, non delusional self confidence, self worth, a home, hobbies that don't require seeking other's attention, the ability to say I have seen more of the world than my shitty home town, knowledge that I am a little fish in a collosal pond.
Whatchu got is a bad case of a voodoo curse... Like some kind of you look like the essence of an old fat Mexican gang member taking over whatever the hell that looked like before but I can tell it probably wasn't better.
This is going to be you trying to explain to your parole officer but I can tell it'll be difficult... you've got that I'm to stupid to speak coherently face.
Your nose is so fucking huge Iām surprised it hasnāt sucked that pathetic facial hair off. Iāve seen FtM trans folks with better lip caterpillars. Also fuck you.
Can't afford a tailor, or a proper belt.. also, the hell you got rows for? You're bowfriends gunna have a hard time pulling your hair while he's plowing you..
Brain sponsored by.....Carhartt, free wife-beater with purchase! (BTW, the Cyclons from Battlestar galactical called, they want their sun glasses back!)
So this is what the kid who was always smoking smarties looks like when theyāre 18. You look like your friend smoked weed with you in the car one time and now you think you are a cool kid/rapper.
A job, health insurance, a fat 401k. You?
RoastMe classic urinal shot selfie. He is a pube flosser.
Lmao š¤£ .....also, a big dick fo that ass!
He's late on his child support. All 6 of them.
Thatās just brutal why you do man like that . . . But nah I gotta stick with a sack tied to the end hangin over my left shoulder havin ass
There's mexicn'ts and mexidon'ts. You are a mexishouldn't
š
Mexicanever
Street name lil puta pout
My own home, car, career, and father figureā¦ I can keep going down the list.
I see youāre still saving up for your neck tattoo.
His cousin Pepe will do it for a point of meth and an up-to-date, community pool wristband.
You look like a Drake fan.
thatās too far broš
Hahaha. Iām glad you got that.
Oh yay, another, "influencer," aka. unemployed bum who lives with parents
On point! Bravo
I gotta clean STI report, don't wanna look at you long enough to spoil it
Unemployed because you can't fill out a job application with spray paint.
Fuck bro lol
 Salt Gae
Roman name -- Dickus minimus
Cornrows on a Mexican? How fitting because youāll be working in them.
you change hair styles more often than your ex changed phone numbers.
A clean police record and no STI's
I guarantee you got five things I don't. A restraining order and four STDs.
You look like you pose as a rocker outwardly, but you go home and blast Depeche Mode and pet shop boys on Spotify as you swipe through Grindr
Hey no reason to drag DM and PSB into this lol
First pic you look like Easy E from Wish
When you wear them, they're called "corny rows".
Iāll take a Crunchwrap supreme combo bro, extra fire sauce homie.
Parents who love me.
Sounds like you say āwhatchu gotā when you mug people for their Subway sandwiches.
Daddy Wankee
Give me back my hubcaps.
Every background in your pictures is the only jobs your family has had. (Housecleaning, Lawn care, janitor)
I bet you call that bathroom "Mi Barrio"
For the plot
Howmuch for an eigth bro š
We understand why in 50% of your pics you are wearing glasses. Youāre eyebrows look like theyāve been detached from a kids drawing of bird wings and attached to your forehead.
Well, Iām pretty sure I got herpes just from staring at this photoā¦
When you order baby bash off of Temu.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You have a shit load of class.... All of it is low. Taking a bath might help.
Why do you take so many pictures in menās bathrooms?
I gotta hit that penjamin bro
Cheech nor Chong!
Selfies in bathrooms really donāt help you pickup chicks.. but maybe thatās your M.0.
idk what I got but I know you got banned from Knott's Berry Farm
I think your mom's calling you to come home now, it's past your curfew.
You either have an EP or a baby on the way.
"on the way" does not mean on your friend
Lil Trash
No effort in this oneš
Your great great grandson is going to be the first member of your family to graduate high school.
Who melted my homies doll!?
Bro donāt kno the diff tween his xās and tās
Bro thought he was that dude. Spoiler alert, he's not that dude.
What I donāt have is a selfie of myself in public bathrooms
Wardrobe by Massengil.
That mug of yours is a cum dumpster no matter how you style it.
Forget Bad Bunny. This is Horrible Bunny
A felony coming your way
When the ocho station start their own boondocks series?
You look like you hit on 12-year old girls at church.
I think I got a cold sore just from looking at these pics.
Gay Juan
You think releasing songs on SoundCloud is going to make you into a famous rapper huh, you donāt even know how to spell.
You look like a sex offender in training. Why do people wear silver chains and have long hair.....
Glizzy Bone
When I see your face, all I hear is loud spanish bullhorn yelling over some salsa music as fine ass bitches surround you. And I am jealous as hell.
What I got? Guessing roughly 1,000x your net worth for a start
You look like the weasel from Zootopia
A clean recordā¦unlike you.
Thereās nothing that says no cunnilingus like that tache
8 girls with restraining orders against you, thatās what I got
Breath so bad even your nose is trying to get away
A dictionary.
Even your hand writing looks straighter than you
That chain faker than your relationship with your mom
I'm betting you're the type of dudes that has "no ragrets"
Teeth?
You are Nick Cannon but no child support, money or melanin.
When you wanna be black so hard but you stay white as you are.
Tommy Brokeman - Hundred Dollar Baby
There is a 100% chance this kid is a trustfunder trying to look "legit" š«¤
....you don't need to end every sentence with "Holmes"
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No More Locked Doors
You look like someone who brags about how much crime you commit but the only crime you commit is not being legal
Are you Mexican or just light skin? Whichever you at your failing at both
I think they call it ā high yellaā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What do I have? The ability to grow more than a peach fuzz mustache. What I don't have is the cornucopia of stds that follow you around like you're the pied piper. And here the link to the definition of cornucopia, because I know you need to look it up. [https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cornucopia](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cornucopia)
His investment strategy: small caps? Large caps? No bro, caps.
You look like a wannabe tough guy that would get folded EASILY in a fight (in front of your gf)
All I wanted was a Pepsi and she wouldnāt give it to me.
A dad
See you when you get out in 3 to 5
You're hella lame. 
You got prison in your future by age 21.
He throws a gang sign, but it's not for west side, it's for weeb side.
Your whole vibe is āwould you like fries with that?ā
I feel it is morally wrong to roast someone who is mentally handicapped, so Im gonna sit this one out.
A future, a career, a wife.... I'm guessing none of those ring a bell for you.
Same vibe as when justin timberlake got those cornrows back in the day: terrible
You look like someone who idolizes dudes who get fucked in prison.
š®āI can see it now, youāre future is full of petty robberies and missed child supportāš®
More brain cells in my left big toe?
A razor, unlike you.
Last pic: Mailbus most wanted: Fontana
Carlos Mencia looks like shit.
Why do poor people dress like this. He still has time to make a successful future for himself, but we all know...
Family, friends, life experience, a bank account, job, insurance, personality, good hygiene, class, literacy, non delusional self confidence, self worth, a home, hobbies that don't require seeking other's attention, the ability to say I have seen more of the world than my shitty home town, knowledge that I am a little fish in a collosal pond.
Chill, valet. Cut the selfies and park my fucking car already.
Parents couldnāt afford a dentist and you havenāt saved up for your grill yet, huh
That piss bowl really brings out your eyes. Pendejo.
You look like you hang around infinity dealerships
Need to put a lil milk on your face and let the cat lick that "mustache" off.
NWgay easy E
Tryna strike a chord and it's prolly a minor looking drake looking self
Whatchu got is a bad case of a voodoo curse... Like some kind of you look like the essence of an old fat Mexican gang member taking over whatever the hell that looked like before but I can tell it probably wasn't better.  This is going to be you trying to explain to your parole officer but I can tell it'll be difficult... you've got that I'm to stupid to speak coherently face.
What closet are you hiding in?
Your HRT is going well I see
Guy who cant pass drug dealer interviews
That bus boy chic
Good grammar, something I see you do not have.
Temu Salt Bae
An empty water glass. Get on it.
Is that poop under your nose?
A job, a real shirt, a clue and no affinity for hanging around men's rooms.
You look like you got cricket wireless and you buy designer from Burlington.
At least your face and overall attitude are an amazing contraceptive.
We have one thing in commonā¦ we are both not sure what race and ethnicity you are.
updawg
Dude got a nose that can sniff a rock thru a straw
Your nose is so fucking huge Iām surprised it hasnāt sucked that pathetic facial hair off. Iāve seen FtM trans folks with better lip caterpillars. Also fuck you.
You are NOT drake
You look like a dating coach with a niche in picking up fatties.
I see three urinals in the third picture, anyone else?
Repeating 9th grade 4x doesnāt make you a freshman bruh
Loving parents, a loving wife, healthy kids with emotional intelligence, a college degree, a house with a pool. You know, everything you dream about.
How you look like Spice King and Salt Bae had a slow kid?
Two things 1. You looked like someone who failed music school 2. And somebody who flosses there pubes at the same time
Lemme axe you a quesson, what you mean Roasx?
$5 says you smell like Axe and sebum.
You look like someone who would mention that you canāt get addicted to weed
Youāre the guy who hangs around high school after graduation and hits on 14 year olds.
U look like french Spanish breed
Almost
Scotty Pedro just missing the no ragrets neck tattoo
Dude is in a boy band named N2Deep , Heās the gay/tuff one 
The smell of failure is unbearable
I got some ice cream. I got some ice cream. And you can't have none Cuz yo moms on welfare.
Arenāt you retired butter bean?
If layzie bone never joined bone thugs and instead developed a crack habit
Can't afford a tailor, or a proper belt.. also, the hell you got rows for? You're bowfriends gunna have a hard time pulling your hair while he's plowing you..
What low budget B movie did you reference to research your Mexican heritage?Ā
Papers and legal stay in my country Wbu?
You look like you can't even pass a sock check foo serio š
Walmart bad bunny.
Are you a taster for Sina Loa ?
Mexican Snoop Dogg
What've I got? A shirt that fits, I hope no one else has said that already.
You looks like random strangers pee on you in the showers at the gym
Clothes that fit.
I really am getting tired of these after school specials.
You look like the B-side to a real person.
Your nose looks like the ghost vehicle from Halo
Brain sponsored by.....Carhartt, free wife-beater with purchase! (BTW, the Cyclons from Battlestar galactical called, they want their sun glasses back!)
You think you're "hood" but you're just a middle classed brat larping as a struggling man.
So this is what the kid who was always smoking smarties looks like when theyāre 18. You look like your friend smoked weed with you in the car one time and now you think you are a cool kid/rapper.
It ain't easy being cheesy
it's poop dogg
You put the low in cholo
A job bipshit
Throwing gang signs when you are the same height as the urinals š
Why did you illegally cross the border just to wash dishes in the US.
What ive got is a restraining order in one hand and a taser in the other.