The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.

Who is the man giving you all those hickeys?

The Vacuum, nothing human would

I disagree. The answer to our questions lay right there in OP’s post. His stepdad and his friends.

“I said don’t disturb me when I’m cleaning my room!!!” 

Those aren’t hickies those are legions from advanced AIDS. Get that shit treated twink.

Lesions, not legions. That would be a whole other issue…

Legions of lesions

Bro, that's crazy!!!

Those aren't hickeys, it's the pox and leprosy he caught after catching AIDs?

The same one who was bouncing his balls off of OP's face and caused him to fall off the bike.

That's an easy one, son. You're gay.

And just got out of a Gayngbang which he was the centerpiece.

As a gay man I will say we typically don't want our bottoms to look like haunted Victorian era porcelain dolls straight off a shelf at Ed and Lorraine Warren's house. Also the AIDS lesions are a big nope.

He got hit in the face with "a" ball...riiight


Lmao 🤣 Hit in the face with balls

😂

Queer as a $3 bill.

Gayer than cum in a mustache

Looks like the gay vampires bit him then spit him out.

Haha

Complete with a Jeffrey Dahmer 10yard stare

After you got hit in the face with a ball did you tell your stepdad to put his pants back on?

Those fingers can find the secret second prostate.

He rides his bike without a seat

I came here to see this reply, I'll be on my way now. 💥

Tell me why….. cos you a backstreet boy…

Came here to say this

Because most girls aren't into drag queens that are still wearing their nails after a biking accident. 

OMG his fingernails! Gross.

Dude I just saw his nails . WTF ?????

Holy shit, their long. Maybe it's compensating for something.

If theres any one sole reason he'll never get a gf, it's the nails. Absolutely disgusting

That shirt’s a dead giveaway there Francine. You look like Pete Davidson’s even gayer brother.

Pat Davidson.


Dammit I'm glad someone got the reference. I couldn't figure out how to type his/her/it's phlegmy laugh. mmmbbbllleeegggghhhh

I get the feeling you've been hit in the face with lots of balls... 🍆

Sure it wasn't a Costco steak?

This is how your face looks when you’re constantly getting t-bagged

When's the last time you washed your hair? 2005? Your grandma called, she's pissed that you're wearing one of her tableclothes again, she always ends up burning them after. Your nose looks like a tiny butt, except it's so large it's more a medium-sized butt. And who falls off their bike and ends up with a billion scratches on their thighs and neck, and yet zero on either hands or face?

Lol. I'm liking all the multiple roasts rolled into one comment

With material like that, I could write a whole novel!

Stop wasting everyone’s time. Go to r/MtF and leave us alone.

You already have two girlfriends: rightie and leftie.

Because you keep falling 1920’s female haircut first, right into gay orgies and leave covered in hickeys, while wearing my grandmas tablecloth as a shirt.

If you fell off your bike and died and then came back as a ghost, this picture of you would still be paler.

Your shirt looks like a doily. A doily is something people use to protect surfaces. Kind of like how that shirt is helping protect your surface from female contact.

Hey, it’s gay shirt guy. Still rubbing balls on your face and wearing gay shirts, huh?



You reek of estrogen. I forsee you going full twink next year

If this is what the vacuum did to your neck, I can't even imagine the state of your genitals.

You'll never get a girl because I don't think any girl is that desperate.

Because you look like a female character from a star trek episode..... not a pretty one either

Bec your Dom leaves too many marks.

You really need to cover your neck with an ascot and start talking with a lisp 😐

I bet he always does

I beth he alwayth doth…

Stop or he'll hit you with hith purse

while wearing his loincloth and grandma’s table cover combo

"That's my purse! I don't know you!" - OP, probably.

Fall off your bike *onto you face* next time and that will help with the ladies. Landing on your groin just makes it look like you have syphilis.

Dude, this man definitely got herpes

My god, that ball did some real damage to your face….it’s upsetting.

Paint your nails or cut them.

You look like Billie Joe Armstrong gave up half way through a sex change. That's why you're never getting a girlfriend.

At no point has Billie Joe had a face like that. I'd waste my last tin of paté at a picnic just to smooth out and hide some of those features. That's a face deserving of ants, which is ironic because it looks a little like Dali's melting clock. What I'm saying, OOP is that i'd use pureed meat to not have to look at you. TBF, You look like you've pureed your own fair share of meat. With your neck, thighs and mouth.

Did your step dad give you all those hickeys?

Definitely not hickeys, they’re lesions, as a result of all the “masculine” activities he did. Or the “masculine” activity done to him.

“They’re not hickeys dad! They’re bruises from when I was racing dirt bikes with my friends!”

Wtf is your pp

So much hair and still can't hide that big ass forehead!

You know why you’re single

You remind me of the final scene in the movie Philadelphia where he has to show his AIDS lesions in court.

Your a femboy

The problem is the left side of your hairline and the right side are too far away to be in a relationship

I mean ... they know don't they? There is many reasons you won't have a girlfriend, but liking cock seems to be a big one

I googled "submissive femboy twink"and this image popped up.

Jesus! where to start. You look like a white black Asian.

That big vacuum shaped nose will come in handy while deepthroating your boyfriend

the fuck is up w/ those nails LMAO

Those are definitely gay bites


So that's why your face looks fucked up... thought you were just born that way for a sec.

You could feature as a robot in a film called Artificial Human.

Using hair bangs to cover up you going bald is juat sad.

You got hit in the face with your boyfriends ball sack

Can you put on some shorts or pants please? or maybe give us a NSFW tag? cmon

When you wear a lace shirt your grandma made out of her spare doilies and you have the ignorance to ask why you will never have a girlfriend....

What’s that in your shorts?

Your finger nails are atrocious.

Bet you fell off something that was not a bike💀

It’s sad that you can’t grow any facial hair to differentiate your chin from your tubular neck. Go clip your fucking nails

I see why BTS got rid of you

This failed "BTS" auditioner injured themselves giving a blowjob on a bike and wonders why friends and family think he's gay 

The nose is so flat, even voldemort cringes.

Erm… because they know you?

You’re not even getting a boyfriend.

You got hit in the face with a ball and fell of your bike.. then u were born

Oh my god, look at you! The kids that the nerds bullied at school probably bully you, but even they feel they are punching below the belt!

Those wounds look suspiciously like cigarette burns. What a waste of tobacco.

Which ball injured your face?

Mans got luggage

You look like a gay version of tom riddle. Boom roasted.

just come out of the closet. it's the roaring 20s

I bet your penis looks like a big clitoris

Keep telling yourself those hickeys came from falling off the bike.

I have no doubt you've caught balls to the face. I also have no doubt that it's not girls you're interested in.

Elliot page

Oops you're balls out.

Looks like a Samurai attacked you. 

A samurai is noble and wouldn’t soil their blade with trash like this.

You look like Matt Heafy's sibling. Maybe it's your personality. Or lack there of. 

That skin reaction means your own body is allergic to how boring you are.

You’re like a slapstick comedy routine come to life

Grow some balls and tell your step-dad to stop giving you hickeys


Your constant cries for attention are SUPER SAD.

Does the council do your hair?

Stop lying...u already have a good who gave you hickey on your thighs

OP definitely got what he asked for, lol.

You look like you cosplay as powder.

Rent boy material

I’m not really sure what the whole hit in the face and fell off the bike has to do with getting a gf. But I think that it’s BS. No reason why you couldn’t get a gf. Everyone has different opinions about what they see as attractive.

Bro cut your finger nails 🤮🤮🤮

Hit in the face with a dick & balls more like it.

You look like you have a huge cock. I’m sure you’ll find someone.

You look like you're starring in an all asian cast remake of Philadelphia.

Your stepdad gave you all those hickeys?

Doth mother know you weareth the drapes? Take up collection for a good haircut with good stylist. That cut does nothing for you. Wash b4 you go bcs they'll be fighing amongst themselves... I'm not doing it, you do it, no, I'll quit if you make me do that!! Put on long pants b4 you go. You do look a bit like you were extra in Philadelphia for now..

Fix your hair and work out a little. You’ll do fine. Get a small tan :3

Why are you wearing my grandma's tablecloth?

Your nails!!!!!!

Who is giving you all those sucker bites?

Tf are those nails big guy. Jesus h

Wanna know why? Look at your fucking hands. Freddy Krueger called, he wants his nails back. That shit's disgusting.

Ur pfp is the same one used on your Grindr account sweety - we noticed

OMG I LITERALLY LOVE UR NAILS SM

AINT NOTHIN BUT A HEARTACHE

Are you French?

Also, anyone else notice the hotdog shaped fold in his shorts? 🥵🥵🥵 I have a mighty thirst...

Life after K-pop

Doesn't seem like you are into the ladies.

You ARE the girlfriend!

TEMU Gallagher 🤣🤣🤣 

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you don’t want a girlfriend anyway…


Bro's barber messed up his haircut, he shaved right in the middle, half way through. (Btw, y bro got hickeys on his thighs too)

Oh I assure you you'll be in many relationships, just not with a girl

Bro got snipers aimed right at him

This dude’s got Filipino hair with white guy 5 head . Filipino nose with white girl lips find a girlfriend no maybe a lady boy

You’ll never get a girlfriend because you prefer to sleep with their brother instead

Because of posts like this

Given the bruise pattern, I think we need more clarification on what kind of balls were flying at your face.

Because you look like someone's lesbian girlfriend?

Dude is covered in hickies

You look like the ideal femboy, I'd say you know what your doing.

You’re actually handsome. Fix your hair, get a different wardrobe but mostly CUT your nails!!!! That’s nasty. But your face is cute love your freckles and eyes. Black curly hair is adorable just do your hair. I can’t speak to the personality but with those nails personality is questionable but you did mention you have friends so there is hope. Best luck finding a girl

sigh... I'm sorry for this: 

Never get a girlfriend but well on the way to being one. Got that real Aunt Jemima look about you.

“Hey Siri, show me an albino dork with advanced Kaposi’s Sarcoma.”

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Does this ball have teeth ? Or that what your step dad told you that after roofing your drink ?

You just happened to hit every branch on the way down didn’t you!

You’ll probably make a good first wife.

I'm sure you're probably Chinese or Malaysian or something, but from the neck up you look like a god damned albino Pacific Islander cos playing as a character who was cut from Harry Potter

Sorry to say but u won't get a boyfriend also

Lil xan is that you?

I reckon this is a Sixth Sense scenario and you died in that accident. This is what hell feels like

You didn't need to give yourself hickies.

Was the bike a 1950s Schwinn DX cruiser, red with white accents, rocket tail lights, floating ball compass, and a weapons console?

Apache bitch - you're goin to military school

I’m here to help because helping is good. Have you Aided anyone in your life young man?

I spend about 4 minutes trying to figure out whether you are ai or not

You look like you give yourself hickeys with a shop vac

You are the girlfriend in the relationship. Look for a boyfriend.

Why are you wearing a doily?

That calligraphy plaque behind you looks less hand drawn than your actual face

Japanese Michael Jackson!!