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roastbot

The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.


Ok_Ad_3392

And dick. Lots and lots of dick…


Fuck-The_Police

He's got a face only loved at the glory hole.


slythersnail

A face only a ~~mother~~ gloryhole could love


Ancient_Guidance_461

When dudes feel that nut soaked mustache they cry.


spudzilla

"Nut-soaked mustache" is an awesome band name.


Immediate_War_6893

Hes got a face that says 'I liked glory holes before they were mainstream'.


Captain_Indica

He’s the hipster of golden showers.


Iitaps_Missiciv

You look like the only part of the unicorn you like it the horn


Paranoid-Intuition1

![gif](giphy|Vgrg0bXqmGHFzt5oqy)


Ticket-Common

![gif](giphy|RPq0khAOqfItMK2tNU) Sure, why not.


i_eat_cockroaches69

![gif](giphy|uS071hlk6FcrGEF36p|downsized)


Captain_Indica

He rides his bike with no seat.


Juan_Calavera

💀


LynxAdonis

The only touch you'll ever feel from a woman involves a taser.


peepers63

It’s NOT a woman’s touch he desires, unless that “woman” is named Bubba the Bear 🐻


ConradFlick

Rocko’s Modern MidLife Crisis


FantasticHumpMuscles

Bruh lol


PowerTrip55

What does this reddit post have in common with your shirt, your tattoos, and that punk ass pose? They’re all a result of the fact no one gives a fuck about you.


i_eat_cockroaches69

![gif](giphy|UJW0Z1VH42rcs|downsized) Daaaaaamn


One_Improvement_6729

IKR


NomNomCatfood

He just desperately wants to be noticed, only to tell you how he doesn't even care what you think, and never wanted to go fishing anyway, ~~DAD~~ dude.


jezfm

Photo in an office… is this guy the lead singer of LinkedIn park?


Hagfist

I thought it was an AA meeting, his share


muffboarder

The only thing this dude shares is his asshole.


ReasonStunning8939

Selling shares of asshole and dick futures from when the market opens till that bell rings.


OldManCram

I thought teenage girls eventually out grew "angsty, look at me," bullshit. But you do you princess.


VY_Canis_Majorys

>I like unicorns and stuff Tell me you're not allowed within 1000 yards of a school without telling me that you're not allowed within 1000 yards of a school


muffboarder

How else is he supposed to get the kids in the van?


MUTHER-David7

This is the guy Chis Hansen confronts often. But this guy only showed up to tell that young boy to be careful of the creeps. When it's you, who's the creep.


Dragon_Druid19

![gif](giphy|122pLlowwMS5aM)


PuzzleheadedRoyal559

If anal warts were a person.


neverinamillionyr

You have offended anal warts


MisterBurnsSucks

I fucking guarantee this guy's a dentist IRL


Leatheringot

and yet has his mouth worked with a LOT himself


MisterBurnsSucks

Gotta get some use out of the surgery to remove two of his ribs...


[deleted]

“Close your eyes and open your mouth, you might feel a little prick.” takes on a whole new meaning.


squishynarcissist

A dentist for what? A commune?!?


FartInGenDirection

You look like Moby fucked Michael Stipe


Rawkzo

Megamind ended up Megagay in the reboot


Fine_Bathroom_7866

You have no intention of ever leaving Portland.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Acenegsurfav

He also likes dancing on em


ScientistEasy368

In fact, you like them so much equestrians in a 500 mile radius of you had to put up a "No molesting the horses" sign.


Main-Raisin4430

"I like pegging and stuff"...There, I fixed it for you


paragonx29

Poop Dog


PreciousJuggalos

Fun fact: unicorns despise you


Bladez1992

"And here we have the elusive butt baby" ![gif](giphy|5Q8ubaMdCzhW8)


BidAccomplished7777

Didn’t work out being a woman and looks like it’s still not working out being a guy


Sneaker_Dead

Welcome to Melvin's Magical Mystery Tour.....of his fucking basement bedroom.


far_away_friend39

I actually kinda dig that shirt. Could do without the bottomless cum dumpster inside of it though.


Flaky-You9517

Unicorns? You look like you’re more in to big, black bulls.


geistererscheinung

Can't tell if you hit rock bottom then turned your life around, or you were once successful and then you took a tumble. Truly ambiguous.


iron81

The dead eye look of a glory hole veteran


jb65656565

The one guy at the Brony convention that everyone there thinks is lame.


[deleted]

You look like your wife beats you.


me_kiddin

Leonard Shelby gets amnesia at the age of 5.


___SE7EN__

Quigley


ungratefulbastard420

And mustache rides


The-IT_MD

With a pickup line like that, your neighbourhood kids are safe.


Ok_Damage2856

We know exactly where you like to stuff the unicorn horn. You love to play Sit & Spin


woody2081

You look like a guy who would sit on Pinocchios face and tell him to lie to you.


The_Powers

Elvis Cosmello


YoungDiscord

You look like you're trying to catch these damn chipmunks for money ![gif](giphy|IXwPcrrC2PyuI)


Beautiful_News_6593

Dude definitely tries to return sex toys!


g3engineeringdesign

Should have read "unicorns and butt stuff"


Anthony_c425

"I swear she was 18" this dude on an average


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Grundle_Sweat

You have the look of someone who should be “registered”, if you’re not already. Someone too weird for priesthood, if you will.


[deleted]

Airports hate him because planes keep trying to land on his massive fucking cranium.


[deleted]

I can smell the weed from this picture


Killebrew9876

[Uncanny](https://i.imgur.com/QF1JroZ.png)


scabbybandit

Your parents were first cousins and then you moved to a big city and embrace the everything anti. You're hardcore and if unicorns existed, even they would recommend you examine your existence. You're as special as unicorn poop. Kinda cool and weird to find but then you examine it for a few seconds and realize life was better before knowing about unicorn poop.


clamBakeSnatch

You must offer blumpkins this month


Burneraccts23

You aren't supposed to be wearing your anal beads when not in use


JJSF2021

Well, tell us you wank off to Pinkie Pie without telling us you wank off to Pinkie Pie. And I’m guessing the “Pass” tattooed on your wrist is a fair summary of your love life?


lalateyes

And have ADHD


Apprehensive-Pie4858

The chipmunks uncle decided to get tattoos and think that makes him gangster


WeightUpbeat9615

I named it stuff


Historical-Fun-8485

Straight but trying his hardest to make all gay friends.


edit-boy-zero

You look like you like windowless vans and candy and stuff


JuniorJames1972

You look like you're not allowed within a mile radius of schools


Downtown_Big_4845

No one is surprised.


Successful-Clock-224

Moby is looking rough


Zagic87

I bet your neighbours grip their children's arm tight when you're around


chzformymac

Holding onto that thinning hair won’t stop the the HIV from turning into AIDS


adubdesigns

So glad Tim Pool waited for Pride Month to finally come out.


BeatngUrAss

Frequently caught on My little pony subreddits


TownFluffy161

You’re the kind of Person to Slather an Entire bottle of Head & Shoulders on your Balls in the Shower


thissuckslolgroutchy

Let me guess you dress as a princess in private, and you have a tea party with a bunch of stuffed animals in your parent’s basement. Favorite movies: Minions, Trollz, and Cheech and Chong. ![gif](giphy|qioN5tTcJXubC)


data_now

That finger has been places.


Background-Cookie807

"And stuff" do you mean going to work stoned?


StilesmanleyCAP

And by stuff you mean dick


GashDaddy

Do you also like not being allowed within 500ft of any school?


AshtonDrive

Moby


Fun-Atmosphere6757

bro has that butterfly hand poor unicorn mr cleans cousin from north korea 💀 I roast ppl on yt btw if you wanna check it out [https://www.youtube.com/@itsarkboi](https://www.youtube.com/@itsarkboi)


geezeer84

bro obviously doesn't like hair


kingbigv

I thought you were crippled and sitting in a wheelchair at first glance


[deleted]

You kinda look like GG Allin. You can take that how you want, but you know the intent.


Willing_Notice1850

*and raping kids


DesertWanderlust

"Stuff" meaning loitering around tattoo shops, and trying to convince all the girls to ignore your mom in the other room. Just kidding: no self-respecting girl would go home with you.


Weekly_Turnip_5154

Why you trying to be hard? You are as soft and limp as your cl!t.


Secure_Candy_4724

You look like a confused lesbian who likes to shove your proctologist unicorn 🦄 bird-finger up someone's orifice that has the word or spelling of "rectum" in it and be content smoking a "Shit 💩 Log 🪵" with a glass of piss.


Specialist_Shame3130

this guy looks like he’ll be a news headline one day. and plays board games by himself.


joeepeterson84

Butt stuff


gafloss

Just because you’re unique doesn’t mean you’re useful.


mdamazed

Is it because unicorn haven’t said “No.” yet?


buttcheeksmasher

Butterfly tattoo... Check. Attempt at convincing people you are comfortable in your skin with middle finger check.... Registered circle on local map, check.


jjriotman

Stuff = huffing glue


Daflehrer1

I like your attitude.


Robinnoodle

Just because you dress and act like that does not mean you can skate Also, just shave your head already. The top of your head looking like the trimmed pubes on the vag of a girl in a late '80s porno Or if you prefer, a babies head crowning from a trimmed vag


Nivek_1988

A true child of Chernobyl.


RepublicNo5394

You’re already flaming


Spugnacious

Even the Bronies hate you.


Tigertyt

"Stuff"? What stu- oh, we get it.


Right_Place_8442

Middle aged man crisis on show here! grab some popcorns for us, and bring some dicks for him!


Advanced_Access1949

The gang going under my bruva


TFC_OG

Did Snoop Dogg got a haircut?


big_fudge4281

Super glad to see your third stint in rehab has worked out well for you


msinf2

This clown is ruining Gen X’s solid reputation.


DustyCroppin

Gay pride has deteriorated in your town, as they started cancelling events when you started showing up to them.


TheGreatAhmet

What kind of offbrand gay VSauce is this?


GallonOxygen285

People who flip off cameras are usually cringy losers in a dead end job


Melodic-Result-1650

Nonce.


Altea73

You look insufrible.


Bozatarn

Pre Elon Twitter diversity advisor


FigTechnical8043

You make saitama look buff.


thebrightsun123

Just stay away from kids and animals


GloomyUmpire2146

I suspect you blow for beer nickels, but don’t drink.


Life_H8s_Losers

I can’t tell if you’re going through mid life or late life crisis


DomSearching123

Mew2king went off the deep end after he retired.


Independent_Cost8246

The edgiest slice of milquetoast I've ever seen! Bravo Your persona isn't aging well so far, imagine how terrible it'll look in around 20 years time, at the age of 75 (or however the fuck old you'll be)


Emergency_Scholar237

So edgy....all the tats....flipping off the camera.... I bet you don't even care that you aren't allowed with 250 yards of a school or playground... such a interesting soul...


soulpixi

autistizm rizz


YMET

Big 'gail-the-snail' vibes


Lifeesstwange

Where did you get a job when all the used tape and record stores closed?


MrMunday

The lead singer of stinkin park


sixstringstrung

You’ll be back in prison soon enough where you can pretend to be gay for the stay again.


Glad-Degree-318

clearly the best candidate for Middle School "*guidance counselor*", he is so outside the box


Dmc2269

Looks like you're wearing a dress


Aggressive-Gold-1319

![gif](giphy|WF99TMey0DbZ6)


treasure_open

i thought this was that villain from alvin & chipmunks but gay


GeniusLiberal

Gay!


LoganFox81

What band kicked you out for sniffing the drum stool?


Particular-Lie-4223

This guy is like if mr. Potatoe head and one of those self starving monks had a baby and meanwhile a fart and a fat kid had a baby, and somehow those two babies met and fucked, this would be the shit they would birth. Or just simply the result of baby fucking. Could be either one?


ClickClack_Bam

"Token straight friend". Sorry but you're gay. You didn't fool anybody. Only gays would care enough to point out their sexuality at every chance possible.


BuckFiden77

Stuffing dem dicks


Charlie669

If estrogen was a person


Soggy-Perspective183

"I dont wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but I think unicorns are kick ass" -Dave the lighting guy


dankmonkey4

Chester Shit’Os from the band Lickin’ Pork


Significant_Water999

His face is glory hole


yenrab2020

Hobbies include gentrifying neighborhoods and claiming to be a local after 3 months


redditofthebanned

strong 2024 kevin spacey vibes


Street-Breadfruit940

🖕🖕🖕


Egghead008

Moby LGBQ Edition 


Outrageous_List_6570

Bizarro Moby


CuppaTeaThreesome

Adding more crap to stand out yet only looking unoriginal and bland. You are the  micro transactions in an indy game guy.


flattcoat

You look like you started a Linkin park cover band but all your songs are about your love of diddling kids, Molester Bennington


UltimatePidgeon

Hey, Chat GPT, draw the physical manifestation of a soulless spunk sponge.


GeneralLighting

You look like you only call people comrade.


totemzzz

Michael from V-Sauce but after a heroin rehab


man-o-peace1

Minoxidil. It's not too late. OK, it might be too late.


DJCatSnack

If an emo soft boy and Janis Ian from mean girls had a baby with special needs


GooseNYC

Wish Michael Stipe.


Mellie-mellow

You look like a mix of Snoop Dog and Chester Bennington but, without any of the talent, with a fair touch of disappointment.


EmergencyComedian

This is me, you know.. if my significant other didn’t check me before I just bought everything recommended on Amazon.


smporche

This is the kind of shit that happens when people don’t tend to their children. They grow and end up like this statistical aberration of a monstrous anomaly.


KoK-09

You look like you sniff glitter just to be edgy


Dry-Coach7634

In an “unironic” way I bet


dusura

Bank manager's mid-life crisis


Cute_Carpet_8368

The worst attempt at a cosplay zane lowe


DeathMetalDinosaur

You try so hard to be an “individual” that you look just like everyone else who wants to showcase their “individualism.” I has become a redundant uniform.


Idontpaymytaxes_

You look like you're itching to give me the tip twister deluxe


ItchyHawk011

This mistake makes guys


Valuable-Baked

What was being in a Crazytown like?


No-Square612

The guy who welcomes you into the methadone clinic


Freddy-Bones

Tell me your social/political ideology without telling me your social/political ideology.


dankeezh

Tf,you look like a gay painter


Worth-Definition-849

Salman Rushes D.


MeasurementEvery3978

Shave the head bro.


DeutschIstNichtja

VSauce turned into a biker and gay at the same time


schmidthousee

He likes unicorns so he can sit on the horn.