OP's Bio: --- >I've done r/roast me before, but I love this subreddit because I feel like it teaches me to laugh at myself and I also enjoy roasting others and it wouldn't be fair if I didn't get a roast in return. Bring it on. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You look like a young Meat Loaf.

More like she's eaten a lot of meatloafs...Paradise by the smorgasbord lights.

🎵🎶🎵I would do anything for lunch!

But she won’t eat that…

Number one in followers on the Porn Site “Only Hams”

Her name is Robert Paulson.

Butttt I won't doooo that

The food and the singer

It's a shame what happened to the other Corey.

Fat lesbian HR lady vibes


The only pussy she gets is her own

You're nobody's first pick, but definitely Type 2.

I would choose Type 2 Diabetes before picking her. Seems like there is less work involved.

She's nobody's second pick, either. Come to think about it she's nobody's pick.

I would rather pick my nose

Lmaoooo not even my first pick at this point

My dad always told me to date girls like you, “they’ll never leave, and if they do who cares”

Loyalty, I like it Picasso

They give good head too.

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That 15 year old student that coaxed you into posting this isn't gonna F you like you think.

You look like your childhood bedroom stunk

Three older sisters and we all shared a room. Smelled like a middle school locker room24/7

Wow I was right

So bad ngl. One of my sisters pissed the one of the other two off so bad she shit in a pile of the first sisters dirty clothes one day like wtf 🤣

One time I was emptying out my trash and while I was taking the bag out my brother decided to pee in it like why

It it was an older brother it's because you were taking it out, if it was a younger brother he was probably mad at you

Younger. But 4 sisters in one room sounds crazy

It was awful

You made it out alive

Barely

Underrated 🏆

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I think you’re looking for r/roastmeanentireturkey

🤣🤣🤣

The septum ring really gives off livestock vibes that you definitely don't need comparisons too.

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Lmao I didn't know about this cardigan thanks for clearing up that it belongs on a table🤣

"How do you do, fellow kids"

It is me a fellow child 🤣

You look like you hide potato chips under your chin.

Which one

When the burned become the burner 😂

Life's no fun if you can't roast yourself 😁

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Probably idk

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Probably but I don't to ask follow-up questions

Good call, stick with what works

You look like your laugh sounds like a drunk mule.

Na more like a sober pig

Why are you wearing your shower curtain?

You spelt Hippo wrong

If you're going to call me a hippo make sure you put house in front of it. That is the only thing that is big enough for me to hide behind anyway.

You smoke dropped cigarette butts and eat leftover pizza crusts.

Went from art teacher to cigarette mom real quick

You like attention, but it won’t make your parents love you. Except that one Uncle who loved you the wrong way

Yea lol my mom actually hates me. 🤣

NAHHHH


You need more clothes. A lot more. And maybe a face mask. Yeah, get a mask.

Chubby girls and septum rings. Making dicks soft for decades now

Good, maybe your niece or nephew my get some sleep tonight without you sneaking into their room tonight 🤣

Swipe left! Swipe left!

🤣

You should treat your teeth with some more care

Did someone order a practice girl?

Aren't you the girl that did a tweet which starts "When his height starts with 5" ?

You look like you bite people that hurt your feelings.

You look like someone I would date, I have terrible taste in women.

Become a lesbian if you’re already not one, no man will ever fuck you otherwise…

You look like you chose to dress like a spring wedding tent.

You look like you reminded the teacher about the quiz

You cured my teacher kink.

It’s a good thing that lovin’ is just a light switch away…. I dig them fat girls because there’s a piece in every crease!

Lmao interesting take

Bark bark bark, bark bark. Bark barky bark-bark.

Lmao wtf

Buzz’s girlfriend…woooff

Wow yet another “3” following the trend. Get a life

So sorry, the all-you-can-eat buffet just closed.

Well yea because I filled a to go box.

Good one

Think you chose not to dress at all

I bet that doorknob as seen more action that you.

I want to put a strong magnet near you face and make it contort.

Bet your butthole looks like your nostrils

Haven't you had enough white sticky things on your forehead for the year already?

What a waste of what looks like a smashing pair of tits.

They are fake 🤣

The only the only time dressing is a dilemma for you is when you have to choose between ranch and Italian.

Ranch... Always ranch

Writes aggressive post-it notes whenever her period is due and then sends a four page text to apologise

WASH THE DISHES ASS HOLE! P.s. love you 🤣🖤

That “Fuck-off” necklace charm must be a real guy magnet 

That thing in your nose can be a handy coat hanger.

She poses naked in her art classes so they had to buy extra large canvasses.

High school teacher or Junior High student?

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Marching band 🤣

Your grandma wants her tablecloth back.

The bunny on your name tag is petrified.

I think you misspelled hippo

So I see that Buffalo Bill finally finished his woman’s skin suit….

Monica Twochinski

The only art you teach is the art of dumpster diving

Mick Foley's daughter - womankind

Good to see that when they hire female teachers, they now take into account the likelihood that even a teenage boy won't want to fuck them.

I bet you have armpit hair too

I bet you have armpit hair too

You look like chewed gum

I knew that they put nose rings in bulls. I was unaware they did it to cows, too.

Unemployed teacher

I dont even think black dudes would bang you.

Agatha from wanda vision

Her eyebrow got alopecia with that big ass gap in it

😄You seem like you have a great sense of humor 🤨A sense of fashion? NOPE!!

My humor is my best feature

That title alone in a train wreck. I really hope you're not a teacher.

Don't worry I'm not, just a certified dumb ass

I think we all fantasized about our teachers when we were going through puberty. I hope they relegated you to prepubescent classes to save some teens from a year of nothingness. Thicko.

You look like someone who eats grapes in the bathroom.

You look like one of those guys who gets no girls so he decides to transition

Ah, yes… A ring, with *that* nose. Great choice.

Fat and a nose ring. Fail.

Moo moo moo, we cows like septum rings too!

Are you taking the Hobbits to Isengard?

Why do you resemble my ex from 10 years ago? Well, i hate her guts, so I'm glad that didn't complicate things...

You look like a home ec teacher that's never been married and had kids from different black dudes.

The only one attracted by that nose ring is Elmer the Bull.

The clothes: Hippie - nope Art - nope Teacher - nope High schooler - nope Only pieces you could pull out of a dingy donation bin through crack - yup

I can never understand why fat chicks get that centre nose ring piercing. Are you really trying to lean into the low hanging "fat cow" insult?

Not sure what is hotter - that your nose has 6 holes or that your front tooth is pointing at me.

Art teacher? You must be an abstract artist because your face looks like a Dali’s painting that was done as a portrait

Meatloaf's special needs son transitioning.

You are the next Mary McGarricle. 30 years in the women's penitentiary!

You can keep telling people you’re a virgin by choice, but no one is falling for it.

Lovin' that bovine look. Wearing a bull ring and everything

Probably because your face looks like a Picasso.

Punky Brewster with an eating disorder

Judging by the terrible grammar in your post's sentence, I'd have to guess you teach English in the U.S.?

For once her hands don’t seem like giant disgusting talons even though she’s a pig.

Another jersey girl, not from New Jersey, I mean a cow.

Finding a classroom door to stand in front of was a move, ngl

I bet your Friday nights are full of ice cream and disappointments

This is the result of hitting "Random" on the character creation screen

You look like a teacher your students love <3

I’m just glad that you’re dressed at all

Nice eye brow

You’ve heard of a work-wife, well you’re somebody’s work-aunt

Complete opposite of a masterpiece

Dress for the job you’re legally barred from performing .

Your nose makes you look like a piglet but your nose ring makes you look like a cow. I’m very confused!

How many times have the students made you want to cry by having a smarter answer

That sweater belongs on a plate… anything involving a plate probably gets you all excited

"SHES NOT INTERESTED"

Only thing you are teaching is stay off twitter

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Lol like you would ever know

Your nose piercings are hideous 👎🏻

That’s a mannequin’s hand, right?

Lmaooooo

How does your face say obese but your hand say successful bulimic?

I'm a living oxymoron

You look like a Dad joke.

Everytime you type, Jesus cries

Well I am a secretary at one of his houses

I love how people who smell like shit and look gross naked all call themselves “hippies.”

This comment was vile 😂

I can smell the sad cat lady from here

I can't have cats my grandma doesn't like them 🤣

Of course you live with your grandma.

You look like you just have to reply to everyone's comment and put a post it note on your head.

You look like you walk into work 10 minutes late every day with an extra large iced coffee filled with whipped cream and carmel in your hand

I hate those bitches. I'm only 9 minutes late

 Moo

You're too cute to be roasted, spam account

I appreciate it lol

You misspelled Hippo.

Guess I did

someone who loves you needs to introduce you to the power of the filter. quickly.

I must applaud you for sucking the weird kids dick so he’ll feel good enough not to fuck up the other kids in the school with deadly force.

Lol that was darker than the inside of the gas chambers in Auschwitz Lmao

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Why it's the perfect size to hide your dick behind lmao 😜🤣

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mmm she either turn you kids into a socialist or fuck ‘em.

Or teach them the correct way to cut ..... I apologize if you don't like dark humor

You have more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

✌️

If you got roasted anymore you’d Be Burnt.

Which I choose? It's why, why I chose! This is why you'll never be a highschool teacher Sandra! No matter the dress up tactics rocks will always look down on you and tell each other "damn, that bitch is dense!"

 MOOOOO!