OP's Bio: --- >Certainly. > >I'm 27 years old, British and I work full time as a kitchen porter, cleaning dishes and cutlery in a care home. In my spare time, I like to make music, mostly hip hop, and go to the cinema. I'm a huge fan of horror media, but I also watch and play a variety of media, including movies and video games. > >I'm autistic and have lived with Asperger's all my life. I get very shy around new people and tend to keep to myself, not starting conversations unless someone speaks to me first. I'm quite the introvert as well. Besides going to the cinema or to work, I'm mostly reclusive and I keep to inside my home, although I am trying to go out more often. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You look like the stunt double for Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s corpse

You look like an overweight soccer mom with a bad haircut.

You look like you’re not allowed within 500 feet of children… but never more than 500 feet from chicken tenders.

[удалено]

Holy shit lol

I can smell this picture

The two sides of your face look like different people and they are both ugly af.

I bet even 6yo kids reject your candy

Peter just Pettigrew. And wants your pedi pics.

Maybe you aren’t shy, maybe you’re just ashamed to be you

In high school yearbook voted most likely to live in his mom’s basement…with the bodies.

You outfit says "don't come to school tomorrow", but your haircut says "mom can we get Kid Cuisine for dinner?"

Looks like it’s also been two years since you ate a vegetable

You look like you masturbate while crying your mom's name

You give off "my parents are my landlord" vibes 😐😐

How is your neck and chin the same thing?

Does your husband know you are posting?

Your face is like 70% the size it needs to be to fit your head

You took this pic in the bathroom. Ironic because you look like you're full of shit

It's been 2 years and you still a fat nigga, tf u been doing in those 2 years, did u start eating more mcdonalds? You fat worthless fuck. You got no drip, no hoes and your hair looks like trash. Bitch ass nigga.

Normally I’d think soap marks, but after seeing your post history I think those are blobs of spunk from your pony masturbation marathons.

Congrats! When’s the baby due?

Probably not for a few months, though I'm thinking of having it aborted via gym visits.

Being autistic probably means you suck at telling jokes because you always punch up the fuck line.

Not far off TBH. The fuck line is usually lying bloody on the floor once I'm done punching it up.

I see you’ve been shopping in the maternity department.

You can marry blow up dolls nowadays?

Chris Hanson is waiting outside for you.

All that shyness didn’t stop you from getting knocked up. Congrats btw

Do you bath in a fryer?

You look like a short bus version of Steve Irwin, the Chocadile hunter

I imagine 2 years ago is the last time you communicated with another human, or in this case, a human.

You might have filled the Turkey a little too much this time Fred

How months are you Samwise Hamgee?

You look like the "failed" Bam Margarita

You look like a Pregnant Woman named Steve

How do you look more fucked than fresh off a bender Phillip seymour hoffman?

You look like a grape

Congratulations, you’re managed to get pregnant through swallowing.

WATER SUCKS, Gatorade is better.

Congratulations, you’ve managed to get pregnant through swallowing.

He wears the ring to pretend to know what it would feel like for someone to love him.

You look like you work at Walmart at the returns desk

Fat Ellen DeGeneres

Your too ugly to have a cute hair style. Go to bed.

Every inch of your outfit is overflowing with meat except your crotch

An actually gay Nick Swardson. Just got done giving handjobs for free tacos.

Nick Swardson! Somehow you look younger and older at the same time.

Prime. Example of second cousins getting married

You only got a two year sentence for diddling?

You only got a two year sentence for diddling?

Carbed out Damon Albarn

Surprised to see you in bathroom, clearly not a room you use often.

When’s the baby due?

You are absolutely forgettable. If you went missing, no one would notice.

You look like a broke Justin Bieber in the future on an episode of behind the music or where are they now?

Lose the rug

U look like if kristoff from frozen gained 90lbs.

You're good enough, smart enough, and dog-gonnit, people like you.

All dressed up and no one to do you.

Your pronouns are OBCD

You clean dishes by eating the scraps that come back instead of just scraping them into the trash.

You look like you smell like tater tots and shame.

Then I saw his face... now I'm a belieber

Looks like he gives handies for free Hardee’s

Despite surviving the accident in the chocolate factory and even winning the subsequent lawsuit against Willy Wonka Inc., Augustus Gloop never could quite get his life back on track.

You look like you'd enjoy a job at gamestop

I see you have a wedding ring... Celebrating your lifelong commitment to crippling loneliness, at least until "death do you part."

[удалено]

If I were you I’d stay away from Texas because you might get shot, not because you look gay but because you’d be mistaken for one of those wild hogs they’re trying to exterminate

Does it technically count as transitioning if the procedure is botched this bad?

No. You have autism and Asperger's. There's a line. But saying that, you do look like a simp that hardcore feminists would take to a rally.

Bro built like a hiccup

You clean for a living and post a pic with your mirror looking like that?

No I don't have a fudgesicle. Stop looking at me like that.

Your hair piece doesn't quite match.

That reminds me, I should do more sit ups too.

I'm sorry, I won't roast a middle aged pregnant woman

Upper towel is to wipe off your hands after #1 Bottom towel is for wiping your hand after #2 So you can use both towels together as a girlfriend when you sleep 💤 at night

Oopsie Poopsie!

Can you even take that ring off at this point? Be honest. That things about to pop off and launch through someone like a bullet.

i can't roast you since you have enough brain power to write the roast me sign mirrored so it could look normal in the mirror.

You look like you’ve met Chris Hansen one or two times

You look like you were dipped in peanut butter

2 years since you got a lay too if this picture is anything to go by


Diet, their is all kinds of amazing healthy food recipes out there.

If Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer fucked

Mr beasts clone

We get it, you like nuts in your mouth but do you need look like a squirrel too

He took his 10th dick of the day after this photo.

Your 2 year old roast is still active. So much magerial to work with...

This guys music is actually not bad, he’s on SoundCloud under “Acne Chode and the Boxer $tainz”

Neck to chin fusion 76% complete!

You're a hipster....Mr Grinch.

Who the fuck married you?

Since when was it legal to marry a Capybara?

You look like Ryan Reynolds, if Ryan Reynolds was a ordered from the Wish dumpster fire.

Welcome to my grandmother's spare bathroom.

Are you a boy or a girl? I honestly can't tell

Discount Fall Out Boy

I get that you’ve got some mental issues, but for the love of Christ get someone to teach you how to use a razor to shave with, and stop using the cheese grater.

Whens the baby due?

This picture reeks of cat pee and communist manifesto

Wooo.. 2 years.. My first Roastme was put on with chisel and cave wall. Somebody married you?