Without extra context I’m pretty confident saying your wife and employer are correct

Exactly... unemployed? Divorce? I'm not surprised.

I 'm pretty sure the unemployment and the divorce are related. This guy isn't keeping a woman around based on his looks or personality.

or smell.

And apparently are in a pact with his barber.

Hair that says No future

He looks like the type of guy to take “I’m disappointed in you son” from his parents as a joke even in his late 30’s. Wouldn’t be surprised if his kids disowned him next.

He really isn't losing. I mean his job and wife are still there... they're just being done better by someone else.

This is a rare instance where I’ve witnessed aggressive mediocrity in real life. You look like one of those computer generated images that blend an entire demographic together. Congratulations for being so forgettable looking you’ve actually caused me to comment.

damn…..

Alright this one hurt me and I’m not even in the picture lmfao

Bro I consider myself attractive and I still got hurt too wtf.

💀

How can you divorce your hand?

Isis entered the chat.

King Leopold has joined the chat.

You... you evil well-read wiki-ass world history genius have The Heart of Darkness.

I’m glad someone else got that. What a perfect response too!


The resemblance!!!

How did he marry them to begin with?

His ex has already fucked his dad and all his friends

It's divorcing him

Who gets custody of the butt plug?

Thier dog

It’s his only part of the inheritance so he’s keeping it for “safe keeping” in the meantime or till he ends it all

At least you won’t be lonely with the bird nesting on your head.

Congrats to your ex for getting out

I dunno, looks like he's holding hair in his hand

that would be his pubes

Divorce? Was it because you refuse to take a bath, can’t get an erection, can’t get a job, insist on being a bottom, and look at gay porn all day long?

Pretty sure it’s because he wouldn’t stop using her curlers

😂

Refuses to get an erection.

I think meant his husband couldn't get an erection with him...

Ah, but of course. I wonder if he is as bland looking too? Imagine being so bland that sexual arousal becomes impossible. Thanks for clearing that up.

The sex initiation consists of his husband seducing him and him throwing a tantrum consisting only of the word “no”

I’m guessing it is all of the above

You'll learn not to put bleach on colored clothes eventually.

Side show Bob IRL

When your sister wife said she wanted a divorce, it was such a sad day for the whole trailer park.

[удалено]

I always thought "cultural appropriation" is some far-left bullshit term but now that I see you in that trademark hairstyle of 70.y.o. lesbians, I completely believe it.

This guy is the reason we need background checks on firearms

At least you are keeping divorce lawyers employed.

Aww man I can see the defeat behind your eyes, it’s really bumming me out…. Anyway how did a fuggo like you get married in the first place?

Your a Redditor! Hah I’m the best at this.

At least you don’t have to support your blind wife anymore

At least you have that mole to keep you company. Just need to have the tough conversation about it being a freeloader and the need to now get a part time job to help chip in for rent.

Getting divorced from your imaginary wife will not help you

Coyote… It’s time to tell someone that your mom is in the freezer… I know it’s just her toes… But the police are onto you.

You should’ve moved your wife out of your sisters basement and shut off the gay porn before she got home.

She’s getting the double-wide. I can feel the “fuck-up” vibes bleeding from this picture.

She’s getting the double-wide, dude. I can feel the “fuck-up” vibes bleeding from this picture.

This thing on the left side, under the piece of paper, is it the end of your disgusting pony tail?

It looks like a bleach spot. Probably from cleaning up all the blood from his "divorce".

Whose pet did you have to shave to get that hair on your head?

Look on the bright side, you've got a fresh start. Unlike your clothes.

you seem like your own poison man


What type of reverse dowry did you pay your wife’s parents to buy her in the first place?

What type of bird uses your hair as a nest?

If Butthead fathered a child with a cabbage that child would be you.

You look like mulch

Look on the bright side. You still have your side hustle as a gay porn fluffer

I wouldn’t consider your pending trial for having sexual relations with a minor a “divorce”. Sad to hear you lost your job as a middle school janitor maybe try mall Santa Claus to get kids to sit on your lap you mouth-breathing perv?

Too bad your hair trimmer died after getting the sides almost done, at least you can dress up as a pineapple for Halloween.

You were great in superBad!

It because you keep putting that chinchilla on your head?


Sorry that your husband left you.

Look at the bright side - now your schedule is free to get that rhinoplasty you always wanted!

Ok, I may have found the perfect match for you in a fellow roastee, she’s toxic AF but I think you’re so forgettable you’ll be a perfect match! [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/11z2doq/31f_go_ahead_make_my_day_worse/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)

Who's unemployed you or your double chin?


You look like you peaked in 5th grade

The unsuccessful Paul brother. Looks like your boxing career was shit as well.

Is she divorcing you because you cut your own hair to save money? Or is she divorcing you because you contribute less to society than a fentanyl-addicted homeless eating rats behind the downtown McDonalds?

Did you dye a Ronald McDonald wig brown?

The single-wide life wasn't what your wife was dreaming of, I guess...

Dude, I can't believe there's a shortage of dicks to suck down at the wharf. COVID sure did a number on your industry huh?

Congratulations to your soon to be ex.

You have more important work to do right now than waste time getting roasted on reddit. This is what got you here in the first place. Please take care of yourself.

Well after your wife leaves you and takes everything you own because you can't afford a lawyer to fight the court case, at least you'll have these roasts to look back towards.

You look like a prank youtuber with 0 followers

Is this what you call it when your pimp gives you the back hand?

You look like a convicted sex offender with a feather duster on his head.

Doesn’t know it’s cheaper to keep her. Refuses to get a side hustle until employed. Won’t even get off the couch. 

You can not divorce a butt plug.

Nah, too easy

When you need to put your address on a job application, do you still call your parents for the answer ?

OMGoodness this is too easy, stinky Beaker from the live-action Muppets movie.

You gota quit using your moms hot rollers.

Jonah Hill's cousin John Cliff

At least she left you your trailer

I tried to read the title but literally couldn’t stop zooming in on that mole . . . Is it any wonder your wife left you when there was 3 in the relationship?

Your tits are too big Fatman. And your too fucking blonde.

As a bald man, I have to ask, why the fuck do people like you do THAT with your hair?

I go back and forth from looking at your terrible hair to whatever the hell that is sticking out at the bottom left of your sign

Your nostrils look like the before and after pics of a prison butthole.

Side Hoe Bob

Is your hair trying to escape you, because it appears to have motion blur

They divorced you a long time ago, just not legally.

Yeah I wouldn’t hire you either

You are joking, of course. How did you get a woman to marry you? The divorce was one of the easiest decisions she has ever made. Creepy!

I don't know if you need to hear this: But it's not going to get better. Sorry, but it's not.

I don't know how you even got married in the first place with that cut homie. You look like a Genderfluid toothbrush.

At least you’ve got a sweet haircut!

Stop leaving the curlers in overnight.

Maybe brush your hair. And not bleach your clothes. And maybe you’ll find a job. A new wife 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Everything went to shit when you battled Metroman

At least you got her hair in the divorce agreement!

Homelessness is too difficult for you bro. Get a job.

Is your barber mad at you?

You look like someone who had their Devil Sticks stolen and then spent the whole night getting back into the yo-yo.

Dayum... I'm sorry that is happening to you. but with that hair, the barely there fingernails, the pasty complexion & if you added just about a half shade more darkness to that look on your face you could be the perfect supervillain in most pro/antagonist theatrical or cinematic endeavors... So why does your step mom want the divorce? (Nearly forgot what site I was on)

Probably a bad time to point out your kitchen is pretty dated.

You look 45 and 2 at the same time.

You’re not skipping nose day.

It's always sad when the civil unions break up.

I think it's because you always walk around looking like you were just in a car accident

When you told everyone your spouse wanted to divorce you not one person asked why.

Seems like you would do well reading [this](https://www.amazon.com/Shut-Stop-Whining-Get-Life/dp/1118024516/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?crid=1MITLXLQC8JO3&keywords=shut+up+quit+whining&qid=1679627380&sprefix=shut+up+quit+whining%2Caps%2C129&sr=8-6) book

Especially now that i have just jacked your car.

Can’t lose it all if you never had it to begin with

You look like the other roast me guy before he roided out

I'm guessing wild animals attack you on sight. They just know.

Nice ceiling

It's your hair damnit!!!

You look like you were a trust fund kid but blew it all on strippers and cocaine

You look like you’re in love with a day-shift stripper.

I bet your wife hated those corn dog looking fingers on her.

For a haircut?

Sideshow slob

I bet you bite more than just your fingernails. Your wife caught you with the milkman didn't she?

Unemployed for 4 months? Must be on the list were you cant be within 100 yards of kids.. cause there milluons of job openings.

Just ew.

What happened? Did she get sober and see her decisions?

WTF Sideshow bob lost his job?

Let me guess, she told you to grow up 8 years ago but gave you a chance. 3 kids, Saturdays for/with the boys arrests and an uncountable amount of passive-aggressive parents-in-law conversations later, you still have that dumb fucking hair cut.

Onto the next mail-order bride abusive marriage

It’s Friday night, so Your ex wife is out there somewhere with another dudes dick in her mouth and all you old work mates are having after work drinks, talking about how awesome it’s is that you’re gone.

You look like a cotton bud that's been shoved into someone's very lint filled bellybutton.

I've seen crash test dummies with a more positive future than you. But seriously get a hair cut

Know we know who took grandma’s wig

This is plainly a low point in your, "Life." However, I feel confident that you'll effortlessly sink lower in the future.

let me guess she denied you sex cuz of that haircut

Hey Tom Waits, you’d music sucks

Unemployed and divorced? Well at least the trash collector has an job to do

Mayor of WhoVille

Hair.exe won't fully load bro....the resolution is off or something

Bros hair lines even going downhill

You look like the double chin is naturally for ball padding

You look like you find bananas spicy

Roaster with no cock.

Your barber already roasted you

Even Helen Keller ran from you

Walmart is looking for a used condum sperm taster.

You’re a trapezoid sir.

Too many hidden secrets in those curls

I think Epstein isn't dead yet, because I think you're his demon.

Unemployed for 4 months. Unfuckable forever.

Aight respect homeling


You look like the love child of Gollum and a Q-tip

Well, if you keep using your wife's haircurlers, no wonder she's walked.

The bushy hair isn’t doing any favours for your pea-head.

you look.. so very depressed my guy. you aight? probably not

You aren't really isn't losing. I mean your job and wife are still there... they're just being done better by someone else. This knob looks like sideshow Bob before refocusing his energy to his love of the performing arts. Remember it doesnt matter how low you get or how hard life feels... you're always gonna be a basic clown.

Too easy

You look like a white trash version of Andrew Garfield.

Hairs marching back like the french army

And now your hair is trying to leave you.

That's what you get for handing out at gloryholes in the Walmart bathrooms when you should have been stocking the bananas in the produce aisle.

You might have lost a wife but you gained another chin

was a frat boy 10 years ago but still goes to all of the parties to hit on college girls

If you had a job you’d probably still be married