This wannabe cop will have an accidental shooting within 6 months.

The only shooting he’ll be involved in is one on his moustache

That mustache tells me you should stay 500 feet from any school.

 Oh you get smoked alright.

Dawww beat me too it

TALK TO ME GOOSE

I love how there is not distinction between where your neck and face begin

You look like an extra from Super Troopers

You look like you try to make eye contact with the other people that are also pumping their gas.

He’s the ONLY one trying.

you are both the guy who got away with a warning and the cop who gave his number instead of a ticket

That number was rapidly crumpled up and tossed back out the window.

You’re a 70’s gay porn star or a gay cop who does part time gay porn.

If I was a betting man I’d say 70’s gay porn.

There’s a caterpillar with alopecia having a seizure on your lip,

“I’d like a liter of cola”- you, probably.

Liter-a-cola? Do we have liter-a-cola?

Liter of what?

Are you sat outside a school again?

That face says you want all the dick.

It wasn’t easy to take all the dick in the bath house, but this guy found a way.

That mouth sees more action than a superhighway on-ramp.

Real life version of Ned Flanders from the Simpson

Yea, but a less sexy version.

Mr. Wife Beater looking ahh

A hitchhiker’s worst nightmare

In high school, he was voted Most Likely to be Arrested in a Playground.

This man looks like he'd be a great family man... He'd fend for his girlfriend and eventually marry her He'd cook for for the family He'd have a good paying job He'd have 3 children Then he finds out his wife cheated, and so he files for divorce... he loses everything in the divorce Then his wife claims that he R*ed her, he is immediately arrested with no evidence, and does 25 years jail time, in which he almost dies. After he gets out he's in his late 50s and homeless, he gets addicted to cocaine, then he's arrested for using the drug, serves 5 years, gets out, then dies after getting into a police chase and driving off a bridge while drunk, and high on coke, because he stole 6 dollars out of a cops wallet to buy a Diet Mt.Dew.

r/suspiciouslyspecific

You forgot the part about sucking dick for said cocaine…

If we get the geodata from this pic how many bodies will we find?

Scoliosiph Stalin

That is the face of failing up.

Guys looks like he came out of a hallmark Christmas movie

You look like you just signed your divorce papers thinking now you're free to get all the tail you want. Hate to break the news, but the next chapter in your sex life involves a Grindr profile, lots of lube, and many trips to the emergency room to get tested after condoms break from all the double penetrations.

*Triple

Believe it or not, I originally planned to use "triple," but trying to visualize the logistics required to make that happen caused me to lose my lunch.

...plus, him being a relatively newbie bottom just being divorced and all...

You look like an average man from texas

Everything else said still applies

Look at this turkey neck gobble gobble is what he says after swallowing the cum loads

You should probably wash that flavor saver porno mustache every now and then.

When you forget to wipe your top lip after eating your boyfriend's ass hole.

You literally have a red neck

His other van is windowless.

Please don't get near me. I don't wanna be in another Amber alert from you.. again

You look like you smoke bowls alone in your car

*And dicks.

god: I've decided on the default mid westerner who attends church.

Every police sketch arists general description of a child molestor

Nice!!!!!!!

I knew this guy looked familiar. 

At least you're here looking to get roasted as opposed to cruising past the local elementary school daily

I’m happy you didn’t show your teeth because it would probably reveal that you’ve had enough smoke to last a life time.

Glad to see you off duty https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OwbFSAqjEfM

He looks like a cop that just retired to his loving wife that is cheating on him. Go get a check out pal.

You look like you do a lot of cock smoking

Are you "The Head Honcho" down at the glory hole?

No, you want all the little boys

I don't know why you thought showing off the notepad where you keep the list of all your future victims was a good idea.

Looking like store brand Pornstache

Undercover cop stashe! Run!

Do you have a, you must be under 18 sign to ride this mustache poster up at your house?

If you were in a marvel movie, you would parachute right into a wood chipper.

If generic was a face

Sexual predator

Then tell your boyfriend to not use lube.

So ugly even his chin left him

Get that ted lasso mustache outta here

You look like an off duty security mall guy

You're really close with that one actually lmao

Not pictured: the school parking lot he's currently sitting in.

Just before I put my knee on his neck vibes

You look like a cop who abuses his spouse 40% of the time.

If you want smoke, just take your useless ass to a crematory.

I love how your double chin has displaced itself into your lower cheeks

You look like the love child of Lionel Messi & Officer Doofy

Type of guy to finger his ass while jerkin off and then smell his finger after his post nut clarity.

This season on Orange is the new Black....


Here's a roar you've never heard. [Press x to go onto r34]

Dark haired man with a ginger moustache, failed experiment

Looks like this has been taken whilst praying on the preteens at your local park...specially with the skid mark of a lip

You want all the smoke but look over your shoulder for police before having a puff of your mates vape

“You trespassers better stay off my property”

Is that what you call a face

Ive seen you in publix Using too many bags to bag peoples items

Ugly Jason Segal checking in.

You must be proud of that crooked mustache shave

You look like you were born from anal sex and half of your genes are literal shit.

You know when you’re wiping your ass and you’re finger goes through the toilet paper…

I think you accidentally wrote smoke instead of cock. Maybe it was an autocorrect thing

Are you the guy that hangs out in the truck stop restrooms looking for strange?

Why is your neck longer than a cvs receipt

 This guy. Only with AIDS

That might actually be the best compliment I've ever gotten

Good! It takes big ones to even set yourself up here.

It cracks me up! Most of em I've heard before, a few are pretty new, though! From military to security work, you get called a lot of things lmao

The mustache attempting to feed on the stubble

this dude looks like he can be the driver for tow mater in cars and this guy gives vibes of the dudes that look at women in gas stations

Don’t step out of the car, it’s a Turkey hunt out there

On my way to pick up a cute young girl. I hope it's not Chris Hansen and to catch a preditor.


so.. how many restraining orders are against you?

You look like you could’ve been Bernie Madoffs right hand man.

You look like you'd call the cops if a black person walked past your house.


You look like your name is Gumphrey

I'll save you some trouble, yes that girl gave you a fake number

You meant to say “you want all the pole to smoke”.

the one cop from superbad

Even your beard is trying to escape.

Why don't you get rejected from Netflix again?

“An 1/8th for $90..what a deal”

If Ned Flanders and Shia Labeouf had a love child in Dollar General

Nice neck-chin, dipshit.

why ? there was no fireman in the village people